https://sonichu.com/w/api.php?action=feedcontributions&user=Pfargtl9000&feedformat=atom
CWCki - User contributions [en]
2024-03-28T11:07:20Z
User contributions
MediaWiki 1.37.6
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Moon-Pals&diff=162184
Moon-Pals
2012-07-31T05:50:09Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Quote|I have read Moon-Pals, and I feel that it is more like Moon-Dorks the way Sean draws and Portrays their Events so Grotesquely.|Chris<ref>[[Common_Questions#26_January_2010]]</ref>}}<br />
[[File:Bill.png|right]]<br />
'''''Moon-Pals''''' is a ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' [[parody]] by [[Sean August Watley]] which provoked enormous amounts of [[Chris and anger|rage]] in Chris.<br />
<br />
==Plot==<br />
<br />
''Moon-Pals'' follows on from Chris's ambition of firing all [[tobacky]] to [[the Moon]], [[Metal Sonichu]]'s banishment to the Moon in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]], and [[Silvana Rosechu]]'s being raised on the Moon by [[Count Graduon]] in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]. From this, Sean envisaged the wild, drug-fuelled adventures of them and several other fan-favorite characters ([[Allison Amber]], [[Yawning Squirtle]], [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal Weston Chandler]], [[Boulder-Dropping Whale]], [[Kel]] and [[Bill the Scientist]]).<br />
<br />
==Chris's reaction==<br />
[[File:SAW.PNG|thumb|You sure do, Sean!]]<br />
Even mentioning ''Moon-Pals'' in a [[Mailbag]] was enough to drive Chris crazy.<br />
{{Quote|To [[Sean]]: Your comic strips are only an extension to WHAT YOU THINK are characters who are Underappreciated, when they are not, and I have plans for them in future tales. Firstly, [[Metal Sonichu|METAL SONICHU]] is NOT a secondary character; HE will be making his return as a MAJOR VILLIAN after Book 11 Possessed by the soul of Count Graduon.[[Bill the Scientist|Bill]] is [[Simonla#Death|still working within Giovanni's Laboratory]], I am working on a plan on including him in a future episode around Blake. The [[Boulder Dropping Whale|WAILORD]] who dropped the rock onto the mother Swampert and the [[Yawning Squirtle|Squirtle who Yawned]] are ONLY Individual characters who I originally had NO plans on putting into future stories, so ASSUME that the two were BOTH caught by Pok'emon Trainers in Pok'e Balls and now the two are fighting with their trainers in Pok'emon Battles.|Chris<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref>}}<br />
{{Quote|you do not have MY POWER of being the Original Artist, Creator and Director, so ALL OF WHAT YOU DO IS PURE FICTION to MY FACT.|Chris<ref>[[Mailbag 44]]</ref>}}<br />
{{Quote|Your "Strips" are Parodic and NOT cannon whatsoever to my, and The Original, Sonichu Pages. So you can go do your own drugs and burn your own strips to smoke with, you DOPE.|Chris<ref>[[Mailbag 54]]</ref>}}<br />
{{Quote|Sonichu is original. Moon-Pals is a ripoff. It's incredibly obvious and you must be Slow-In-The-Mind for not seeing it.<br />
|Chris<ref>[[Mailbag 57]]</ref>}}<br />
[[File:Moida.PNG|thumb|250px|Chris is now officially insane.]]<br />
Chris's rage culminated in the trial of the Asperpedia Four in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], in which [[Mao]], Sean, [[Alec]] and [[Evan]] were sentenced to death. Sean was hung from the ceiling by his wrists and shot dead by three of the characters he had so slanderously parodied: [[Kel]], [[Bill the Scientist]] and [[Allison Amber]].<br />
<br />
In [[Book10Replacement|the revised edition]], the Four are exiled to the Amish community, where Sean becomes "the village idiot."<br />
{{-}}<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ksvR4GYEyo Strips 1-3] on [[YouTube]]<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
[[Category:Not TRUE and ORIGINAL]]<br />
[[Category:Asperchu Saga]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=/cow/&diff=162093
/cow/
2012-07-25T19:46:04Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>[[Image:Redbackground.jpg|thumb|All it took was words and a red gradient to keep Chris away]]<br />
{{Quote|Would you fuck me, 789chan? I'd fuck me.|Chris, [[It's not that cold]]}}<br />
:''[[cwc]] redirects here. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)|the disambiguation page.]]''<br />
'''/cwc/''' (aka '''Krapple''', '''Legi0n''' or '''789chan''') is an image board dedicated to [[Chris]] and other lolcows.<br />
<br />
[[Ivy]] has alleged that Chris had discovered the site, based on a tip off from a successful [[white knight]], but his response was that the [[CWCipedia|colors]] [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|bothered]] him and that there were "[[Autism|too many words]]."<br />
<br />
Chris made direct reference to the 789chan incarnation of /cwc/ in the video [[It's not that cold]], asking if they'd fuck him. In the video, he also pretends to dig up his dead dog [[Patti Chandler]] and wear her as a coat. This is also a reference to the /cwc/ board, as a vocal minority of users in Legi0n era /cwc/ kept suggesting that the [[trolls]] should hire a [[Tomgirl|tranny hooker]] to dig up Patti, as a way of trolling Chris. How much Chris actually knows about 789chan or whether or not he browses the board remains to be seen.<br />
<br />
== History ==<br />
[[Image:anonchris.jpg|thumb|Typical /cwc/ user]]<br />
/cwc/ was originally set up on the Krapple board, but on 1 [[November 2009]], /cwc/, as well as the entire board, was permanently deleted for CEO having ''terabytes'' of [[anime]] on server space. It was brought back soon after on a spin-off chan on Legi0n. Legi0n also later shut down due to some drama with some of its admins in [[August 2010]], and the board was moved once more to 789chan, where it is currently hosted. While hosted at 789chan, /cwc/ was re-purposed as a general lolcows board rather than a Chris-centric one, though Chris still remains the most popular topic and the board's namesake.<br />
<br />
==Derivative boards==<br />
Due to the high volume of posts on /cwc/, the Legi0n staff decided to create additional, more specific chris-related boards. '''/cxc/''' (fanfics and copypastas), '''/kcwc/''' (chris-related songs/music videos), '''/CWCrt/''' (trolling schemes), and''' /library/''' (to archive threads of major importance). The move to 789chan eventually dropped all of these boards, while adding /L/ in place of /library/.<br />
<br />
==Other==<br />
/cwc/ also operated an IRC channel and a dedicated trolling wiki back in the Legi0n days. The wiki and IRC channel have both since shut down, but 789chan now runs a new IRC located [irc://irc.789chan.org:6667/789chan here].<br />
<br />
== External links ==<br />
*[http://789chan.org/cwc/ /cwc/'s current incarnation]<br />
*[http://789chan.org/L/ /L/, archived threads]<br />
*[irc://irc.789chan.org:6667/789chan 789chan IRC, the new /cwc/ channel]<br />
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Legi0n Archived ED article on Legi0n]<br />
<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:cwc}}<br />
[[Category:Websites]]<br />
[[Category:Trolling]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Template:Christory/February_29&diff=161130
Template:Christory/February 29
2012-06-24T07:41:20Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Christory Entry<br />
|imagename = CWCVoid03.jpg<br />
|imagecaption = Lazy fat fuck<br />
|text = Nothing has ever happened on this day in Christory, at all. Except for Chris playing his [[PS3]], of course.<br />
|link = Time Void }}<noinclude>{{usage|1=See [[Template:Christory]] for usage.}}<br />
[[Category:February|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude></div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Template:Christory/February_29&diff=161129
Template:Christory/February 29
2012-06-24T07:41:07Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Christory Entry<br />
|imagename = CWCVoid03.jpg<br />
|imagecaption = Lazy fat fuck<br />
|text = Nothing has ever happened on this day in Christory,at all. Except for Chris playing his [[PS3]], of course.<br />
|link = Time Void }}<noinclude>{{usage|1=See [[Template:Christory]] for usage.}}<br />
[[Category:February|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude></div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Pfargtl9000&diff=161128
User:Pfargtl9000
2012-06-24T06:38:00Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{collapsible|Userbawxes|<br />
<center>{{JERK}}<br />
{{White}}<br />
{{Americunt}}<br />
{{Atheist}}<br />
{{Kitty}}<br />
{{PS2}}<br />
{{PS3}}<br />
{{Hex-Box}}<br />
{{Wii}}<br />
{{GrammarNazi}}<br />
{{Observer}}</center><br />
}}<br />
<br />
HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Trolls&diff=154695
Trolls
2011-12-23T12:54:27Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: Undo revision 154692 by GeorgeKurai (talk)</p>
<hr />
<div>{{quote|they are vicious, crazy, wickedly smart people.|[[Chris]] on trolls<ref>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]</ref>}}<br />
{{quote|What a world we live in, with such trolls in it.|[[Blake]], in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].}}[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|center]]<br />
[[Image:Faceless Trolls.png|thumb|120px|The Furies]]<br />
[[Image:Ff7troll.png|thumb|300px|Now for the [[Hex Box]].]]<br />
<br />
'''Trolls''' (numbered about seven billion strong) are the various individuals of all races, colors, and creeds united under a common goal - to ruin the [[Internet]]'s most beloved and most hated [[autistic]] manchild, [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. <br />
<br />
Trolling schemes by these individuals have ranged from hacking CWC's websites to making him take [[Nudes|nude pics]] and more.<br />
<br />
==Pre-ED==<br />
It is notable that Chris was bullied IRL before his discovery by [[4-cent garbage.com|4chan]] and [[ED]]. It can be argued that the first known torment of Chris occurred when his life-long-friend-who-no-longer-speaks-to-him, [[Sarah Hammer]], [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|locked him under the house]] and tried to feed him a poisonous [[Wikipedia:Honeysuckle|Honeysuckle]] when they were children. The next notable bullying occurred during the infamous mini-date with [[Hanna]] in [[2005]] which smashed his [[heart level]] to 15%. Around the same time, he was also trolled by a girl he contacted through [[MySpace]] named [[MySpace messages#Lindsay|Lindsay Kaye]]. There was also possible trolling of Chris through the guestbook on his website from as early as [[2003]], when "a hot redhead" said that she would meet him outside of [[PVCC]] (either this was epic trolling, or Chris put it on the guestbook himself). And let's not forget about [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] hijinks.<br />
<br />
But this was all child's play compared to what happened next....<br />
<br />
== The Few, the Proud, the Elite ==<br />
<br />
===Asperpedia Four===<br />
Includes Alec Benson Leary (the creator of ''[[Asperchu]]''), [[Evan]] (the creator of ''Simonchu'', and therefore [[Simonla]]), Sean August Watley (the creator of ''Moon-Pals''), and Mao (the creator of the Asperpedia, which brought them all together).<br />
<br />
[[Image:SirWilliamMaysOBE.jpg|left|80px|thumb|BILLY]]<br />
<br />
=== [[BILLY MAYS]] ===<br />
The individual who trolls as the loud-mouthed salesman of the same name, who types in ALL CAPS, and was declared the mayor of [[CWCville]] by Chris on 3 March 2009 while under pressure from [[BlueSpike#Max|Max]]. It is widely suspected that Chris himself had something to do with his untimely [[Chris and death|death]].<br />
<br />
=== [[Blanca Weiss]] ===<br />
[[Image:Blanka.jpg|80px|thumb|Blanca's true identity.]]<br />
<br />
"Blanca" was really a trio of trolls (RickyRicardo123, Ickeriss69, and Nurse Icky-chan) who tricked Chris into sending them nudes, and later his [[Medallions of Fail|Sonichu medallion]]. Ickeriss later uploaded a couple of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ofqcc7VOn1k videos] featuring the Sonichu medallion, including a video in which the medallion is destroyed.<br />
<br />
Not to be confused with [[Trolls#Lordsillynipples|LordSillyNipples]], who used the Blanca identity to score the first nudes.<br />
<br />
=== [[BlueSpike]] ===<br />
BlueSpike (AKA "LeonSpike", aka "Julie", aka "Max") is a thirteen-year-old boy who pretended to be Chris's [[sweetheart]] "Julie". He later revealed himself as a troll in a now infamous [[Julie Reveals Herself|hour-long audio recording]] in which he berates Christian and makes him stick his Sonichu medallion in his ass.<br />
<br />
[[Image:BryanBash.jpg|thumb|left|80px|Bryan Bash (right) with your sister (left).]]<br />
<br />
=== Bryan Bash ===<br />
Bryan Bash is a close friend of [[Clyde Cash]]. He is the one who [[Hooker incident|sent hookers over to Chris's house]], as well as the person who called during the infamous [[Bob Walks In|"Bob Walks In"]] audio file, and is responsible for leaking [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|an image]] of Chris having sex with the members of his ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' band (including a [[niggo]]). Additionally, he leaked the [[Father Call]] and the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]] to [[/cwc/]] on 11 November, [[2009]], and he has also leaked conversations between [[Chris]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]].<br />
<br />
=== [[Clyde Cash]] ===<br />
<br />
[[image:TheRealClydeCash.jpg|thumb|80px|right|Clyde Cash.The man.The legend.The guido]]<br />
<br />
The nefarious [[Clyde Cash]] is the most infamous and legendary of bullies. A vile and reprehensible fellow whose very name strikes fear and revulsion into Chris's clogged heart and inspires admiration from the souls of bullies. He posed as [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], raped Chris's beloved [[PandaHalo]], and performed many more amazing feats about which songs shall be written and the minstrels shall sing of in the ages immemorial. Unfortunately it will not come to pass since Clyde is serving a life sentence for stealing the identity of Lee Hotti.<br />
<br />
=== [[Emily]] ===<br />
A brave soul who went on a date with Chris. She was later saved by the [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Jew in the Pickle Suit]].<br />
<br />
[[File:Ahuvia.png|thumb|left|80px|Jack Thaddeus]]<br />
<br />
=== [[Jack Thaddeus]] ===<br />
The possible successor (and gay lover) of Clyde Cash and is responsible for various [[PS3#PlayStation Network|PSN]]-related trollings and also for the [[CWCipedia]] ads.<br />
<br />
[[File:Jimmuh hill.jpg|thumb|80px|Jimmy Hill]]<br />
<br />
=== [[Jimmy Hill]] ===<br />
Jimmy Hill (full name James William Thomas Hill, OBE) is the true original creator of Sonichu, the first openly gay cartoon character that became very popular in Europe back in 2009. He has since retired as a billionaire.<br />
<br />
=== [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] ===<br />
The original creator of the [[ED]] page.<br />
<br />
=== [[Man in the Pickle Suit|The Jew in the Pickle Suit]] ===<br />
An IRL pickleman who answers to Clyde Cash. He saved Emily from the clutches of Chris.<br />
<br />
[[Image:CChanSonichuCWC.jpg|thumb|left|80px|The REAL Chris]]<br />
<br />
=== [[Liquid Chris]] ===<br />
A [[YouTube]] troll who is known for doing a spot-on impersonation of Chris-chan. Within his saga, Liquid Chris is referred to as the [[TRUE and HONEST]] Chris-chan and creator of the popular comic character Sonichu, and Solid is referred to as an angry troll named [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], who made outlandish claims that he was the real Chris.<br />
<br />
=== Lordsillynipples ===<br />
A troll from [[ED]] who was responsible for impersonating [[Blanca]] and being the first to obtain the now [[Pickles|infamous Chris-chan Noodz]] on 11 September 2008, along with [[Chris's DVD]]. She is also responsible for creating the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] and for feeding Chris the infamous guido picture of [[Clyde]].<br />
<br />
=== [[Robert Simmons V]] ===<br />
A YouTube troll who managed to gain Chris's trust by showing him support and mirroring his life. Along with [[Church audio|visiting Chris's church]] and meeting [[Bob Chandler|Bob]], he also had a hand in organizing the [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|Emily date]].<br />
<br />
=== [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] ===<br />
Shigeru Miyamoto (Japanese: 宮本 茂) is the creator of some of Nintendo's most legendary video game franchises such as Mario, Zelda, and Star Fox. Who in 2009 took time out of his busy schedule to troll chris by pretending to be interested in his [[sonichu|yellow sonic abortion]].<br />
<br />
=== [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] ===<br />
<br />
While there's no definitive proof of these two being trolls, they have been known to dispense advice for Chris from time to time, especially on the subject of relationships.<ref name="Jackie e 16">[[Jackie_E-mails_16]]</ref> Considering the [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|results derived from said advice]], one cannot help but wonder about their [[Laughs Under Lucricities|true motivations]].<br />
<br />
[[image:Tito 300.gif|thumb|80px|Surfshack Tito]]<br />
<br />
=== [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] ===<br />
<br />
An enigmatic troll who managed to invoke Chris's wrath on [[Surfshack Tito|two]] [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|separate]] occasions by hacking his PSN and taking the blame for ruining Chris's slim chances with [[The Wallflower]]. Recently, he has been involved in the destruction of Chris's beloved [[PS3]].<br />
<br />
[[image:TH.PNG|thumb|80px|left|Thorg]]<br />
<br />
=== [[Thorg]] ===<br />
A troll responsible for creating a [[20 December 2009|slanderous billboard]] in 2009 and exposing [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] in 2011. A major part of Chris's 2011 [[Calling Out|blackmail campaign]].<br />
<br />
[[image:Vivian.jpg|thumb|80px|Vivian]]<br />
<br />
===[[Vivian Gee]]===<br />
The creator of the ''Sonichu'' [[audiobooks]] and various other Chris-related videos and cousin of Clyde Cash. A former white knight who turned troll after she realized Chris was a [[Vivian Gee E-mails|hopeless, thick-skulled moron]].<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Devil Trolls==<br />
[[Image:DevilTroll.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's depiction.]]<br />
[[File:ModNation TrollFemale.jpg|thumb|Featured in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.]]<br />
<br />
Aside from the several notable figures above, the '''Devil Trolls''' are mysterious, evil creatures that appear in Chris's ''[[Sonichu]]'' comic series. These creatures are first mentioned in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] and make their first full appearance in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]].<br />
<br />
Like many beings within Chris's comics, the Devil Trolls are inspired by his encounters in real life. Devil Trolls represent the various trolls that have given him such [[stress]] over his lifetime. This is shown when Chris encounters a set of them attacking a room containing his stuff from one of his earlier websites.<br />
<br />
The Devil Trolls make their first mentioned appearance as some sort of grass protrusions taking away the fallen "[[IBAChandler]]" after Sonichu defeats him in ''Sonichu'' #9. They make their full appearance in ''Sonichu'' #10, as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] encounters them inside a room containing his pictures from his various websites. Seeing as Chris can't create anything without ripping off original designs, Devil Trolls resemble [[Wikipedia:Troll doll|those old Troll toys]], minus their gems, with long tails and demon-like wings. They also sport sharp teeth.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
== Motivations ==<br />
[[File:Trollll.PNG|thumb|Drawing of a troll appearing in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].]]<br />
<br />
===Chris's perspective===<br />
Chris himself has a more simplistic view of what motivates his enemies. When a [[Mailbag]] correspondent asked him to explain why he's trolled, and why so many people seem to hate him, Chris had this ingenious response:<br />
<br />
{{quote|"Tehy're just jealous that they did not think of [[Sonichu]] first, or that I am more [[Chris and art|Artistically Talented]] than they are."|[[Chris]], [[Mailbag 5|Mailbag #5]]}}<br />
<br />
This is consistent with the advice given many children who are IRL trolled in school: that bullies are merely jealous of you, and want to see you react unfavorably. Since Chris [[Count Graduon|never moved past]] [[Manchester High School|high school]] mentally, he still believes he is hated because he is so much better than everyone else.<br />
<br />
From his own attempts to illustrate trolling, it's obvious that Chris has no concept of how it works. When he tried his hand at impersonation, he thought that we'd all be trolled if he pretended to be an epic troll, but then [[Jack|a troll]] saw through his lie and forced him to admit that he is, indeed, a fat idiot. Chris believes that trolling has two steps: pretend to be someone you're not and then "troll" someone by revealing who you really are. [[Silvana]], a character based on his perception of forum trolls who claim to be people they aren't, thinks it's hilarious to pretend to be [[Meg Griffin]], kiss Chris, and then transform once she's out of sight. As a result, Chris walks away happy, unaware that he just kissed a tranny, defeating the entire point of "trolling" him.<br />
<br />
Recently, it seems that he's decided that the majority of his hated trolls are actually homosexuals, combining his two major hates into one massive force of nature. The earliest this is seen is [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag&oldid=3208|a message he wrote] in his Mailbag section, exploding in rage over an added [[Twitter]] and how they could talk about him behind his back. Even more, in his [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|CWCipedia article on The Wallflower]], Chris has also decided that the trolls are also [[niggos|black]].<br />
<br />
Unsurprisingly, Chris also considers trolling a ''crime'', and has somehow dedicated himself to stop trolling. However, Chris's views on trolling are very very skewed, as he believes that ''all'' trolling is equal to what he had done to him. A [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|recent video]] actually has him tell people how to act on the Internet [[Chris and hypocrisy|mere moments after revealing his real name, address, and phone number]].<br />
<br />
===His parents' perspective===<br />
The [[Matthew Noble call]] in August 2010 revealed some interesting insights into Bob and Barbara Chandler's interpretation of what has happened to their son over the years. Chris's parents are apparently convinced that the entire Chris-chan Trolldom grew out of a conspiracy by Michael Snyder, two alleged homosexuals who frequented The GAMe PLACe (possibly [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]]), and ''[[Megan Schroeder]]'', who worked to get Chris banned from the store and are involved with a general effort to harass and torment Chris. When speaking with Ivy, Bob described Megan with words like "cruel" and "German". Bob was convinced that it is all because they are persecuting Chris for being autistic, while in reality he was scaring away customers with his behavior and sexually harassing Megan.<br />
<br />
It's useful to try to consider things from his parents' point of view. To begin with, there ''is'' a worldwide conspiracy, more or less, to pester the Chandlers, violate their privacy, drive their son to do ridiculous things, and otherwise fuck with them in myriad ways. Bob and Barbara are bombarded by prank phone calls all day, nude photos, God knows what else arrive in their mail, signs mysteriously appearing on their lawn, Chris having [[Kacey and Liquid Call|angry screaming matches]] with people they've never met on the telephone, Chris once drove off to Ohio to meet [[Julie|a woman who didn't exist]], and so on.<br />
<br />
Being Chris's parents must be a fairly surreal experience at this point, and given that they belong to a much older generation, they can hardly be expected to develop the grasp of Internet social phenomena that they'd need to properly understand their situation. The GAMe PLACe, however small a piece of the bigger picture it may be, is the most significant real, physical element of Chris's adventures in trolldom that they've been exposed to. As ridiculous as their theory may seem, it's probably the best they can do as far as making sense of what has happened and continues to happen to them.<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
* [[4-cent garbage.com]]<br />
* [[CWCki]]<br />
* [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]<br />
* [[PVCC (Message Board)|PVCC]]<br />
* [[Rollin' and Trollin']]<br />
* [[White knight]]<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{Trolls}}<br />
{{People}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Trolls]]<br />
[[Category:Lists]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Pfargtl9000/User_talk:ChrisChanSonichu&diff=154311
User:Pfargtl9000/User talk:ChrisChanSonichu
2011-12-14T12:49:30Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>This page is from the CWCipedia (now gone). It is the contents of Chris's talk page.<br />
<br />
== What are you doing ==<br />
<br />
Chris, what are you doing? We do not have any advertisement agreements with Coca-Cola. Plus, I do not think they want to be involved in anti-homosexual rhetoric. Please take all the ads you have put up down. If you do not I will take them down myself. You are threatening the stability of the CWCipeida. Please stop this. If you do not comply I will be forced to take down the CWCipedia for a short time. --[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 03:35, 2 January 2010 (CET)<br />
<br />
==Let me put it another way...==<br />
<br />
<center><br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp<br />
| image = {{#ev:youtube|gILwSGqC3w8}}<br />
| imagewidth = 250<br />
| Stardate = 31 December 2009<br />
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]<br />
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Website.png]] [[CWCipedia]]<br />
| Performance Style = [[Image:Reason.png]] Reason<br />
| Saga = [[Image:Clyde_saga.png]] [[Clyde]] Saga<br />
| Shirt = [[Image:Dangerstripeshirt.PNG]] DangerStripe<br />
| previous = [[To Clyde and Jack]]<br />
| next = [[This was my fault]]<br />
}}</center><br />
<br />
I am Captain of this boat, and I do not like those who do not respect me and my wishes. If the crew wants me to REMOVE the "Straighten Out All Homo" Quote from the Introduction Image, as well as in the Feature Quote; ALL I ASK is for '''NO AD TO BE DISPLAYED IN THE INTRODUCTION BOX'''. Remove the Ad from the BOX, and I will remove the Quote from the image AND the Featured.<br />
<br />
--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 23:04, 31 December 2009 (CET)<br />
<br />
==I don't care what you do as long as you don't tamper with the ads==<br />
The advertisements and where they are placed are not up to you, Chris. Jack controls the ad space and may put ads where ever he pleases. The lock on the advertisements will stay in place unless Jack says otherwise. If you would like to talk to him about it his email is jackthaddeus@gmail.com. Please cease any further attempts to tamper with the ads. [[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 23:12, 31 December 2009 (CET) <br />
<br />
==THAT DOES NOT MATTER==<br />
<br />
I ASK that the Ads be LIMITED ONLY onto the Side-Bar and NO WHERE ELSE. I DO NOT GIVE A CRAP ABOUT Jack Thaddeus; HE IS NOT DOING HIS OWN HOMOSEXUAL MALE KIND ANY FAVORS by TICKING ME OFF LIKE HE HAS BEEN DOING.<br />
<br />
I Have The Instinct, and I Have Already Snail-Mailed President Barack Obama on how this sort of bad advertisement is going on and how it is Wrong and should be made Illegal. On HOW if the Main Captain does not WANT or IS OFFENDED with the listed Ads within his own Website or Works, REGARDLESS of who controls the AdSpace, WOULD REMOVE THOSE ADS or face JAILTIME. And the F.B.I. would be FULLY INVOLVED in all this, and THEY have the Power, Tools and Balls to seek, hunt down and bring in the Individual Internet Trolls and Ad-Spammers.<br />
<br />
I, Christian Weston Chandler, am NOT only the Mayor of Cwcville, VA, IN REAL LIFE as its Main Creator, but as such, without me, you would be just bored and not have my comics and stories to enjoy, and therefore, I am Captain of the Cwcipedia. I have full appreciation for being the Webmaster, but I will have Full Respect as Captain.<br />
<br />
--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 23:25, 31 December 2009 (CET)<br />
<br />
==And without us, you would not have a personal mail sorter, a web host and an UNHACKABLE website==<br />
We have already thwarted two hacking attempts, and you continually get harassed by Clyde. We are protecting you from him. We have a team monitoring the site round-clock for you. How long have your old websites lasted once the trolls found them?<br />
<br />
Jack Thaddeus paid for all our hosting for 2010. He will sue us if we do not put his ads up. These latest ads are not offensive in ANY WAY. There is nothing wrong with asking closeted gay Sonichu fans to come out. I do not see the offensiveness in these ads. [[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 23:53, 31 December 2009 (CET)<br />
<br />
==Still, I DO NOT WANT ANY ADS IN THE INRODUCTION BOX==<br />
<br />
It is Most Unappropriate, and regardless of what ad is there, THERE SHOULD BE NO ADS ALLOWED WITHIN THAT BOX.--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 23:58, 31 December 2009 (CET)<br />
<br />
== The main page is a very popular page ==<br />
The main page gets the most hits. Jack will only be able to make his money back on the most popular pages. These ads feature no pornography and are very tasteful. [[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 00:06, 1 January 2010 (CET)<br />
<br />
==I do not disagree with you on most hits==<br />
<br />
,And that no pornography is currently present, but the Introduction Box is NO Place for Ads, PLUS the Side-Bar gets his ads ALL AROUND the website; leaving any ad in the ONE BOX will only Limit it to that ONE PAGE, NOT ALL ARUOND.<br />
<br />
== The ad is more noticeable because it is bigger. ==<br />
[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 00:16, 1 January 2010 (CET)<br />
<br />
==Size does not matter.==<br />
<br />
Reading from Left-To-Right in MOST Countries, as well as myself, I see the ads in the left first-off and Most Better anyway. Seeing the BIG Ad in the One Spot is as terrifying as the '''Flash Of Light at the Instant Millisecond of DEATH''', or even, technologically, the Blue Screen Of Death. And Believe Me, IN DREAMS, and even IN MOMENTS within my mind while AWAKE, I HAVE SEEN AND FELT That Death Light. Not only is it the Most Horrifying Thing Ever, but I am LOOOONG NOT READY FOR IT YET.<br />
<br />
--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 00:21, 1 January 2010 (CET)<br />
<br />
==Many sites have ads on their main page: Yahoo.com, Youtube.com==<br />
I also have no idea what you're talking about with this flash of life. Contact Jack Thaddeus if you want to deal with him. [[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 00:24, 1 January 2010 (CET)<br />
<br />
==Filenames==<br />
Sadly, the version of MediaWiki we're using doesn't support the changing of filenames. You'll have to delete the images and reupload them with a new name. But for the bonus pages, why not make special pages for them rather than putting them on numbered pages? I'll start making a Bonus Page template for you now --[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 15:04, 9 August 2009 (CEST)<br />
<br />
==New Feature==<br />
<br />
Chris, I got an excellent idea for a new front page feature where you can update your fans about your current heart level. All you do is go to [[:Template:Heart Level]] and where you see <nowiki>{{Heart|some number}}</nowiki>, just enter a number to show what percentage your heart level is. Right now, I have it at 100, so it shows a little picture of your heart level at 100.<br />
<br />
Right now, it works so whatever image you have your heart level at, it will pull an image based on it as long as it's in the form "HeartXX.jpg" where xx is some percentage. For instance, if you entered 90% for your heart level, it would get the image "Heart90.jpg" which would show your heart at 90%. You can be as elaborate (such as drawing heart levels for every increment, like 99, 98, 97...etc) or as simple (like in tens in 90, 80, 70, etc.) as you'd like. I think the simple approach would suffice.<br />
<br />
In addition, you can add a brief comment about why you feel at that heart percentage like "Had a good day" or "Got the new comic up" or something like that. <br />
<br />
I figure this would be a good way to communicate how you feel to your fans that only involves entering two numbers (or three if you're at 100%!) to communicate your heart percentage level and a sentence if you'd like. <br />
<br />
I realize you are busy drawing the comics and I don't want to add more to your work load, but this is just a simple way you can communicate how you feel to your fans if you don't feel like writing a lengthy Captain's Log or something like that. <br />
<br />
Also, please forgive me for using the 100% heart level from your comic, as I mean to use it in a non-slanderous way. <br />
<br />
As I said, I'll be working on what you wanted today, but I hope you'll like the Heart Level template. --[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 16:08, 6 August 2009 (CEST)<br />
==Your recent request==<br />
I'll work on it today. You should have it by the end today (August 6). Also, apology for the edit conflict with Dating Education - hope I didn't spook you, just was editing the article since wiki software doesn't handle indentations well (if you want to indent, just use a <nowiki>:</nowiki> for each space you want to indent). Yeah, it's weird but that's how wiki software works. --[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 10:10, 6 August 2009 (CEST)<br />
*In regards to your request about having a way to quote, did you want something like [[:Template:Quote]]? That'll let you put a huge quote from whatever you want and it'll be big. If you had something else in mind, let me know. Wiki software has a few different ways you can present quotes and I can work on something to meet your needs. --[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 10:13, 6 August 2009 (CEST)<br />
:*Added a comic collection link to the side navigation panel. If that wasn't what you had in mind, let me know. --[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 05:42, 7 August 2009 (CEST)<br />
<br />
==The template you asked for ==<br />
I apologize if you've already read this on my talk page but I always forget if you're notified if a response to a message you wrote on someone else's talk page. Well, in case you didn't, here's what I said:<br />
<br />
<br />
Here's a collapsible gallery template you can use [[:Template:collapsible]] here, which will be handy if you have a lot of pictures you want to display. Just curious, I checked the ED page to see what you meant, would you still want it so you can collapse in in the collapsible frame? For instance, you'd open the frame, then you'd be given some options, and you can click to collapse or uncollapse them (I looked at ED to get an idea what you meant - like how "Chris-chan Gallery" gives you some options like "Fan Art", "Original Drawings", etc. when you uncollapse the frame and you can collapse and uncollapse them). That'll be a bit tricky but if you want that, I can work on a template so you can do that sort of thing as well.<br />
<br />
I'm glad you're starting to learn how wiki software works and wanting to expand your horizons. If the template I made isn't exactly what you wanted, '''by all means say so!''' I will be more than glad to help you set up templates and so forth.<br />
<br />
Keep up the good work Chris and as always, if you need any help, feel free to ask me. --[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 05:52, 5 August 2009 (CEST)<br />
<br />
<br />
==A tip about featured articles==<br />
Chris, just wanted to let you know that you can change the image associated with the featured article. For instance, if you wanted the new page with Billy Mays [[:Image:SchuComic9P31.jpg]] instead of [[:Image:HisOwnWords.jpg]], just replace "InHisOwnWords.jpg" with "SchuComic931.jpg" or whatever other image you'd like to be associated with the featured article. <br />
<br />
The same principle holds true if you wish to edit the [[:Template:Featured Picture|Featured Picture]] to show off any new pictures you've drawn.<br />
<br />
It's good you've discovered how to change the featured article, just wanted to give you a neat tip on how to use it fully. --[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 10:10, 3 August 2009 (CEST)<br />
<br />
== Color Scheme ==<br />
<br />
Now that the background and logo have been set, what kind of color scheme would you like for the site? Page background colors, text colors, border colors, etc.<br />
<br />
Please tell me what colors you'd like and I'll set them right away --[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 00:26, 30 July 2009 (CEST)<br />
<br />
== Your Recent Edits ==<br />
Chris, I just want to say that your new edits are '''fantastic.''' I particularly enjoyed the [[Private villa of corrupted citizens]] article (though all your edits in the past day have been very good). By all means, keep adding content.<br />
<br />
I saw you made a new logo for the corner and I will put it up as soon as possible. <br />
<br />
Also, if you need any help or have any concerns or notice something isn't working, by all means, you can put your questions here and I will do my best to answer them for you.<br />
<br />
Keep up the good work, Chris! --[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 12:27, 29 July 2009 (CEST)<br />
<br />
== Control Panel ==<br />
<br />
I've added a control panel template that allows you to edit the [[Main Page]] features to your user page. --[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 06:59, 11 June 2009 (CEST)<br />
<br />
== Whoops! ==<br />
<br />
Sorry about the huge number of edits I've been making recently, this wiki formatting takes a lot of time and effort so like many [[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysops]] I often have a drink every now and then to help put up with the often tedious task of making templates and ensuring everything works properly. Of course, this leads to a lot of typos and errors, in addition to the errors caused by unruly siblings or cats on keyboards. So I apologise if I am disrupting Recent Changes too much, and hope that you continue to use this wiki to its fullest! --[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 10:59, 18 June 2009 (CEST)<br />
<br />
== Site Logo ==<br />
<br />
Please upload a PNG with a transparent background, 135 pixels wide and 135 pixels high here:<br />
[[Image:SiteLogo.png]]<br />
Thanks in advance!<br />
*Sorry, but this is too big... it has to fit in a 135x135 pixel square to display properly --[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 21:54, 19 June 2009 (CEST)<br />
:*[[Image:ResizedSiteLogo.png]] Maybe this would be better? Though Chris, perhaps you should should make a new logo, perhaps one incorporating the lovely one you made on the front page. --[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 01:29, 20 June 2009 (CEST)<br />
<br />
== Comic section ==<br />
<br />
I've prepared the comic pages for you, you just need to upload them now. Go to [[Sonichu Comic Collection]] and pick a comic to upload to get started, you don't need to edit the pages, just click on the red Image: links and upload. Tell me if you run into any problems. --[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 17:01, 18 June 2009 (CEST)<br />
<br />
== New template ==<br />
<br />
{{Commentary|This box contains commentary}}<br />
<pre>{{Commentary|This box contains commentary}}</pre><br />
I've made a new template you can use to add director's commentary to your comics! Add this between the Comic Page and Issue navbox for best results --[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 21:53, 19 June 2009 (CEST)<br />
<br />
== A humble request ==<br />
<br />
Hey Chris! Me and my friends play Doom a lot, and we were wondering if you could make us a Sonichu skin! It'd really give me an edge in deathmatches, hehe<br />
<br />
I was inspired by the videos you made about your ideas for a Sonichu game. Maybe if you do the sprites and sounds, I can make some CWCville-themed levels and we can make a real Sonichu game together? Better start small first, though, so a simple skin will be cool<br />
<br />
To make a skin I need some drawings and sound recordings, don't worry, they're pretty easy to make. I'll put them together into a skin and take some pics of it to show it action once it's done.<br />
<br />
=== Sprites ===<br />
Just use the base sprites as a guide for what you should draw. Please use PNG and try to make sure the background is transparent<br />
<br />
{| class="wikitable" title="Doomguy Sprites"<br />
|-<br />
! colspan="5" | Walking<br />
|-<br />
| [[image:PLAYA1.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYA2A8.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYA3A7.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYA4A6.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYA5.png]]<br />
|-<br />
| [[image:PLAYB1.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYB2B8.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYB3B7.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYB4B6.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYB5.png]]<br />
|-<br />
| [[image:PLAYC1.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYC2C8.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYC3C7.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYC4C6.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYC5.png]]<br />
|-<br />
| [[image:PLAYD1.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYD2D8.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYD3D7.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYD4D6.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYD5.png]]<br />
|-<br />
! colspan="5" | Shooting<br />
|-<br />
| [[image:PLAYE1.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYE2E8.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYE3E7.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYE4E6.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYE5.png]]<br />
|-<br />
| [[image:PLAYF1.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYF2F8.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYF3F7.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYF4F6.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYF5.png]]<br />
|-<br />
! colspan="5" | Pain<br />
|-<br />
| [[image:PLAYG1.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYG2G8.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYG3G7.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYG4G6.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYG5.png]]<br />
|-<br />
! colspan="5" | Death<br />
|-<br />
| [[image:PLAYH0.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYI0.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYJ0.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYK0.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYL0.png]]<br />
|-<br />
| [[image:PLAYM0.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYN0.png]]<br />
|-<br />
! colspan="5" | Extreme Death<br />
|-<br />
| [[image:PLAYO0.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYP0.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYQ0.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYR0.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYS0.png]]<br />
|-<br />
| [[image:PLAYT0.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYU0.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYV0.png]]<br />
| [[image:PLAYW0.png]]<br />
|-<br />
|}<br />
<br />
=== Sounds ===<br />
Use these as a guide for what you should record.<br />
<br />
{| class="wikitable"<br />
|-<br />
! Doomguy Sounds<br />
|-<br />
| Pain sound<br />
| [[Media:dsplpain.wav]]<br />
|-<br />
| Falling damage sound<br />
| [[Media:dsoof.wav]]<br />
|-<br />
| Normal death sound<br />
| [[Media:dspldeth.wav]]<br />
|-<br />
| Extreme death sound<br />
| [[Media:dspdiehi.wav]]<br />
|-<br />
| Sound when player uses a wall<br />
| [[Media:dsnoway.wav]]<br />
|-<br />
| Extreme death noises<br>(optional, plays at same time<br> as extreme death sound)<br />
| [[Media:dsslop.wav]]<br />
|-<br />
| Punching sound<br />
| [[Media:dspunch.wav]]<br />
|-<br />
| Jump sound<br />
| (none by default)<br />
|}<br />
<br />
=== Sonichu Versions ===<br />
Upload the finished pictures and sounds into these red links!<br />
<br />
{| class="wikitable" title="Sonichu Sprites"<br />
|-<br />
! colspan="5" | Walking<br />
|-<br />
| [[image:SNCHA1.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHA2A8.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHA3A7.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHA4A6.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHA5.png]]<br />
|-<br />
| [[image:SNCHB1.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHB2B8.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHB3B7.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHB4B6.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHB5.png]]<br />
|-<br />
| [[image:SNCHC1.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHC2C8.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHC3C7.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHC4C6.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHC5.png]]<br />
|-<br />
| [[image:SNCHD1.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHD2D8.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHD3D7.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHD4D6.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHD5.png]]<br />
|-<br />
! colspan="5" | Shooting<br />
|-<br />
| [[image:SNCHE1.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHE2E8.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHE3E7.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHE4E6.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHE5.png]]<br />
|-<br />
| [[image:SNCHF1.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHF2F8.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHF3F7.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHF4F6.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHF5.png]]<br />
|-<br />
! colspan="5" | Pain<br />
|-<br />
| [[image:SNCHG1.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHG2G8.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHG3G7.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHG4G6.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHG5.png]]<br />
|-<br />
! colspan="5" | Death<br />
|-<br />
| [[image:SNCHH0.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHI0.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHJ0.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHK0.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHL0.png]]<br />
|-<br />
| [[image:SNCHM0.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHN0.png]]<br />
|-<br />
! colspan="5" | Extreme Death<br />
|-<br />
| [[image:SNCHO0.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHP0.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHQ0.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHR0.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHS0.png]]<br />
|-<br />
| [[image:SNCHT0.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHU0.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHV0.png]]<br />
| [[image:SNCHW0.png]]<br />
|-<br />
|}<br />
<br />
{| class="wikitable"<br />
|-<br />
! Sonichu Sounds<br />
|-<br />
| Pain sound<br />
| [[Media:soplpain.wav]]<br />
|-<br />
| Falling damage sound<br />
| [[Media:sooof.wav]]<br />
|-<br />
| Normal death sound<br />
| [[Media:sopldeth.wav]]<br />
|-<br />
| Extreme death sound<br />
| [[Media:sopdiehi.wav]]<br />
|-<br />
| Sound when player uses a wall<br />
| [[Media:sonoway.wav]]<br />
|-<br />
| Extreme death noises<br>(optional, plays at same time<br> as extreme death sound)<br />
| [[Media:soslop.wav]]<br />
|-<br />
| Punching sound<br />
| [[Media:sopunch.wav]]<br />
|-<br />
| Jump sound<br />
| [[Media:sojump.wav]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Remember to have fun making it, we'll definitely have fun using it! --[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 06:14, 10 July 2009 (CEST)<br />
== Recent downtime ==<br />
<br />
Sorry about all that, a troll known as "ominousmusic" or "geneva" falsely reported the site for abuse. Don't worry, we should be safe now! --[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 07:04, 25 August 2009 (CEST)<br />
<br />
== Copyright License ==<br />
<br />
I deeply apologize, the owner of this webspace set the site up with a GNU FDL as a default to avoid any legal trouble. Please write a page detailing the terms of use for your website's content and I'll change it right away --[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 20:46, 6 September 2009 (CEST)<br />
*Thanks, I'll update it as soon as I can --[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 00:14, 7 September 2009 (CEST)<br />
<br />
== Copyright Warning ==<br />
<br />
I've received a copyright claim, complete with genuine paperwork, from an individual claiming to be the owner of the Sonichu copyright. I'm afraid their claim is legally valid, so you have two options in order to keep using both the CWCipedia and Sonichu as a whole:<br />
*Reach an agreement with the copyright holder.<br />
*Prove that you are, beyond all reasonable doubt, actively using the Sonichu copyright. This pretty much has to be continuous use, i.e. 1 page a day minimum, otherwise the entirety of Sonichu will fall to the copyright holder.<br />
If you can't do one of these things, then I'll have to hand the site over to the real owner of Sonichu. You have three days before their claim comes into effect, so please respond quickly. --[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 04:41, 11 November 2009 (CET)<br />
*In light of your apparently valid copyright claim, it appears there's something of a dispute over the usage of the Sonichu copyright. In this situation, the solutions are for the most part the same as they were before:<br />
**Reach an agreement with the other copyright claimant. This could mean sharing the CWCipedia with them, or collaborating on Sonichu comics or artwork, or otherwise agreeing on how you will both use the copyright.<br />
**Proving you are actively using the copyright. As before, this means uploading a comic once a day. However, since both claims are disputed, the first claimant to produce proof of use(i.e. comics) will receive the copyright.<br />
:In any case, I will be waiting to receive proof of active use from either you or the other claimant. It should also be noted that the other claimant has contacted Google to start displaying ads in the wiki sidebar. --[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 05:08, 13 November 2009 (CET)<br />
<br />
== Fan mail page ==<br />
<br />
I've been receiving a lot of emails from fans trying to contact you, so I've put them on a new page called the [[Mailbag]]. I'm sure your fans will appreciate a response, so you can reply by pasting <code><nowiki>{{EmailReply|</nowiki></code>, typing out your response, then adding <code>}}</code> afterwards.<br />
<br />
Example:<br/><br />
<code><nowiki>{{Email|From: Example<br/><br />
Hi Chris, this is an Example Email.}}</nowiki></code><br/><br />
<code><nowiki>{{EmailReply|Thanks for your email, Example. This is an Example Reply.}}</nowiki></code><br/><br />
Results in:<br/><br />
{{Email|From: Example<br/><br />
Hi Chris, this is an Example Email.}}<br />
{{EmailReply|Thanks for your email, Example. This is an Example Reply.}}<br />
<br />
Again, I'm sure your fans will appreciate a response. Keep up the good work! --[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 19:27, 19 November 2009 (CET)<br />
<br />
== Advertisements ==<br />
<br />
I'm afraid it's out of my control, the other claimant has sold the ad space on CWCipedia to an individual named Mr. Jack Thaddeus who can be contacted at [mailto:jackthethadius@yahoo.com jackthethadius@yahoo.com]. I hope you can reach an agreement with them soon. --[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 03:31, 24 November 2009 (CET)<br />
<br />
== Mailbag Issue ==<br />
<br />
Firstly, I want to thank you for your swift reply to the e-mail I sent you, and to inform you that I am going to work to get official sponsors to support the website. I will admit though, I was hoping that I had underestimated the Euro value. I will have those Damn Dirty Ads removed and replaced soon enough.<br />
<br />
Second, in the Mailbag, Please No Longer Include any messages addressing '''Autisim or Aspergers''', or any that has even an inkling of '''homosexuality''' in it; I feel very stressed after having to read those messages; they really Grind My Gears.<br />
<br />
--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:08, 7 December 2009 (CET)<br />
<br />
*Thank you for your offer. But we can only accept sponsors from the EU as our company is stationed in Europe. We cannot pay for our servers with US dollars, and international banking laws for non profit organizations forbid us from using advertisements from large multinational corporations from the US or abroad. However, advertisements provided by individuals that advertise other websites are exempt from this rule. Unless you are a citizen from the EU, you cannot donate money to our website. We apologize for any inconvenience.<br />
<br />
*If you are still interested. You are going to have to find someone who is a native EU citizen and convince them to donate to our website. Your best bet would be to talk to Jack Thaddeus about the ads as he has EU citizenship and is eligible to donate. Not to mention, due to his donations, he also owns the ads in question. Should you be able to convince him, we could possibly reach an agreement. --[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 05:13, 7 December 2009 (CET)<br />
<br />
== The revised ED Page ==<br />
<br />
[[Chris_chan_(CWCipedia)|Chris_chan]]<br />
<br />
I have just retyped and revised the text body of the Encyclopedia Dramatica webpage; Please look into the [http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan page] for all the KEYWORDS they've put into their page and add them to the hidden Keyword List of [[Chris_chan|Our Page]].<br />
<br />
--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:32, 18 December 2009 (CET)<br />
<br />
== Influx of e-mails regarding an issue ==<br />
I have received over 100 e-mails from the mailbag talking about how you have come out of the closet in New York. They all state pretty much the same thing, so I have decided to just add this one:<br />
<br />
{{Email|From: Amanda Hugginkis <solidusclyde@gmail.com><br />
<br />
I saw you coming out all over New York. I knew you were struggling with your sexuality for such a long time and it makes me proud to see you come out all over New York. I'm really disappointed you have kept on your "straight" image for so long, but I'm glad to see you have finally decided to make the right choice. Also, you drink your "cum", you're a pretty kinky gay guy.<br />
<br />
- Amanda}}<br />
<br />
== Reply ==<br />
<br />
DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT BELIEVE IT. As referenced to Clyde Cash's latest video on YouTube, apparently he put up one of his Fake Photos where he cropped me into the situation onto a Billboard in New York. I have just uploaded my counter-statement to that on my YouTube, so in Automatic Responses to ALL such messages at the time, please respond, '''Mr. Chandler has informed me that billboard is a FAKE PHOTO created by the Troll, Clyde Cash. Do Not Believe It; Mr. Chandler IS STRAIGHT.''' Feel free to copy/paste. I will respond to all current letters in the mailbag appropriately tonight.<br />
<br />
Thank you for your cooperation and information.<br />
<br />
Merry Christmas.<br />
<br />
--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:26, 21 December 2009 (CET)<br />
<br />
== The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space ==<br />
<br />
Remove the Ad that is there now and put it BACK in the side area; I will NOT have Ads in areas where they Do Not Belong. At least the current Ad is Non-Offensive, but I Do Not Care for the "You can join us, Chris" text underneath it; REMOVE THAT LINE ALTOGETHER.<br />
<br />
Also, I Swear as God and Jesus as my Witnesses, THE FIRST TIME, and maybe the second time as well, I HAVE SEX WITH A WOMAN, I WILL Video Record the Whole Thing and Upload it onto RedTube, so FINALLY PEOPLE can SEE what should have been seen almost a Decade Ago.<br />
<br />
--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 18:24, 28 December 2009 (CET)<br />
<br />
Actually, I have just found the way to fix that, but thank you for listening anyway.<br />
<br />
And also, Let's put the Sonichu Twitter Feed Box, Square Space equivalent to the "Christian Says" Box, on the Front Page, between "Christian Says" and "Did You Know..." in that column, please.<br />
<br />
--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 18:27, 28 December 2009 (CET)<br />
<br />
<br />
== Common Questions ==<br />
<br />
Many e-mails from the mailbag have common questions, I have compiled them into a page here: [[Common Questions]]. Since you've been behind on many mailbags, I think this might help. Still, you need to do the mailbags: You don't want to lose your fans again. [[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 00:27, 29 December 2009 (CET)<br />
<br />
== Do NOT tamper with the advertisements ==<br />
<br />
We were paid by Jack Thaddeus to put those advertisements up there. He fulfilled all our payments for 2010 so he has the right to put whatever he wants. We were not paid by Coca Cola so why should we put up an advertisement for Coke? [[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 05:25, 29 December 2009 (CET)<br />
<br />
== Your password has also been reset. ==<br />
<br />
Someone has hacked into your account. Please check your e-mail for your new password. [[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 05:40, 29 December 2009 (CET)<br />
<br />
== Do NOT TAMPER WITH THE ADS ==<br />
<br />
== And I will not ==<br />
<br />
But I DO NOT WANT ANY ADS WITHIN THE INTRODUCTION BOX; along the side-bar is ENOUGH.<br />
<br />
And Please REMOVE THIS GOD DANG PROTECT BLOCK on the Front Page! The only ones this Protect should BLOCK are the Trolls!<br />
<br />
--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:00, 31 December 2009 (CET)<br />
<br />
== More common questions ==<br />
<br />
I have put together a few more questions. [[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 04:51, 30 December 2009 (CET)<br />
<br />
== What are you doing ==<br />
<br />
Chris, what are you doing? We do not have any advertisement agreements with Coca-Cola. Plus, I do not think they want to be involved in anti-homosexual rhetoric. Please take all the ads you have put up down. If you do not I will take them down myself. You are threatening the stability of the CWCipeida. Please stop this. --[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 03:35, 2 January 2010 (CET)<br />
<br />
== I said it once and I will say it again ==<br />
<br />
'''GIVE ME BACK CONTROL OF THE MAIN PAGE EDITINGS, PLEASE!''' This Alec is a damn bastard and a NO-GOOD TROLL. REFUSE HIS buyout into the Ad Placements onto the Cwcipedia. Regardless of image content, I want NO RETARDED ARTWORK OF HIS anywhere on MY Cwcipedia.<br />
<br />
--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:11, 12 January 2010 (CET)<br />
<br />
When the contract was signed, there could be a maximum of six ads placed anywhere on the CWCipedia. Jack may do whatever he pleases as he has paid for our hosting until the end of 2010. If you are unpleased with the ads, we suggest you wait until 2011 to discuss the terms. That is the agreement. [[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 07:28, 12 January 2010 (CET)<br />
<br />
== The Main Page Twitter Box ==<br />
<br />
Can you please SET it to a SET Width so it does NOT stretch the width of the webpage where the Portal is OUT of my view and I have to scroll to the Right in order to find it at all?<br />
<br />
--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:09, 13 January 2010 (CET)<br />
<br />
== PLEASE do something about this Ad Abuse ==<br />
<br />
NOT ONLY are they in the WRONG Places, but there are TOO BIG; Please SHRINK THEM DOWN or MOVE THEM ALL TO THE SIDE COLUMN.<br />
<br />
--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 15:08, 18 January 2010 (CET)<br />
*Unfortunately, I am legally unable to edit the relevant files. Please discuss these matters with the adspace holder, or the advertiser. --[[User:WikiSysop|WikiSysop]] 21:35, 18 January 2010 (CET)<br />
<br />
== The Mailbag is ONLY For Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville, Myself or thing ONLY ON Cwcipedia. ==<br />
<br />
Any questions or comments that may come in addressing ANYTHING POSITIVE on Asperchu or Alec, Evan, Sean, Mao or the Asperpedia, '''PLEASE REMOVE FROM THE MAILBAG DATABASE WITHOUT HESITATION.'''<br />
<br />
I have also personally left the note in the 41st Mailbag that had NOTHING but those ANNOYING Questions and Comments that JUST GRIND MY GEARS AND PISS ME OFF. See below for the message I have left, and please leave it alone and add no more to this one mailbag:<br />
<br />
{{Email|From: ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com<br />
<br />
ATTENTION TO ALL PEOPLE who have been reading Asperchu. Allow me to be perfectly clear about the repetitive questions that I would rather not answer, because '''I HAVE NO CONNECTION OR ASSOCIATION WITH ALEC OR ASPERCHU WHATSOEVER.''' So, get ready for Itemized Itinerary:<br />
<br />
'''1)''' Alec and his crew have No Right Whatsoever on MY original Sonichu/Rosechu Characters; I Never Ever Gave Him OR his crew ANY permission to use them At All.<br />
<br />
'''2)''' I never gave him permission to place ANY advertisements for his Low-Rate Work and Copycat Website; he bought Jack Thaddius out WRONGFULLY. I still Disapprove of his ads in any shape or form regardless of image content.<br />
<br />
'''3)''' I have No Contact With Alec, and until He REMOVES HIS Advertisements from MY Cwcipedia, I am reluctant to have contact with him on topics OTHER than Him REMOVING ALL OF HIS ADS from MY Cwcipedia as a Sign of Peace and Good Will.<br />
<br />
'''4)''' The Cwcipedia IS DESIGNED MAINLY FOR the Original Sonichus and Rosechus in and around Cwcville, Virginia; Alec and his blocky-drawn characters are in Minnesota, and therefore are NOT Associated Officially With Cwcipedia OR the world of Cwcville.<br />
<br />
'''5)''' At the time, I have done Comparison Drawing within the recent 12 pages I have drawn and uploaded between HIS drawing style and Mine. Obviously Mine is the Superior, because it is more pleasant to look at, and it was Hand-Drawn, versus Computer-Drawn which Alec and his crew have chosen for their media. Officially, I still have NO association with Alec at all, even after this short-time addition within the 10th Book.<br />
<br />
'''6)''' '''Asperchu is NOT MY CHARACTER, PERIOD.'''<br />
<br />
'''7)''' From this day forward, Any and All future messages that DO NOT ADDRESS Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville, Myself (Christian Weston Chandler), or anything that is originated ONLY ON the Cwcipedia will be DELETED. ADDRESS ALL Asperchu inquires ONLY to Alec Benson Leary on HIS COPYCAT WEBSITE.<br />
<br />
So there, and thank you for understanding.<br />
<br />
--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 12:12, 19 January 2010 (CET)}}<br />
<br />
Thank you my Frogger-Playing friend.<br />
<br />
--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 12:12, 19 January 2010 (CET)<br />
<br />
== I have a suggestion. ==<br />
<br />
Considering the Current Image Alec has placed in the top area being bloody and gorey. F.Y.I., I was shocked at first sight of it, but I calmed down after a while. It's the same, more or less, when I watch a horror movie and see those parts (I have watched Saw 1-5; good story behind John, B.T.W.), but at least I have the knowledge that it's all Hollywood Magic.<br />
<br />
Anyway, considering that, I recommend making the Whole Top Portion Hideable (able to hide it for good during the rest of the visit on the Cwcipedia), just like in the Mailbag or my Images in the [[Sonichu]] page where we have the option to hide or view it at ones own leisure or choice.<br />
<br />
For me at least, being able to HIDE all of the "advertisements" in the top portion from view during my time on the Cwcipedia, I feel it would make my job more easy to cope with.<br />
<br />
Also, I promise you, and ALL of my fans, even those who have left for Alec and his crew, aside from that One Time OUTSIDE of my Comic Book Pages, I would Never Ever draw Blood and Gore within my Comic Book Pages at all.<br />
<br />
Thank you, Frogger.<br />
Stay Safe and have a good day,<br />
--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 12:19, 22 January 2010 (CET)<br />
<br />
P.S.<br />
<br />
I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO BE FORCED to Scroll Down EVEN to view the Log-In Box when Logging In, or even to SEE the Edit Box that I am typing in right now.<br />
<br />
Also, I have ended the Raichu's Gender Dispute; she as always been FEMALE.<br />
<br />
--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 18:48, 22 January 2010 (CET)</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Kacey_and_Liquid_Call&diff=154227
Kacey and Liquid Call
2011-12-13T01:20:55Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: more accurate</p>
<hr />
<div>[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|''Adipem goddammit'' (Fat goddammit)]]<br />
<br />
On 11 [[November 2009]], [[Bryan Bash]] leaked another phone call to [[/cwc/]].<br />
<br />
A follow-up to the original [[Father Call]] bombshell, this call between [[Kacey]] and Solid Chris ([[Ian Brandon Anderson]]) mostly consists of Solid trying to defend his actions in [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]] and life in general until [[Liquid Chris]] arrives. At that point, Solid loses it, and the conversation degenerates into a shouting match. <br />
<br />
[[Bob]] and [[Barb]] Chandler also make an appearance as Chris hides behind his mother's (and father's) skirt. <br />
<br />
==Summary==<br />
<br />
===="You ''shot'' him!" (00:00-09:29)====<br />
Chris asks Kacey if she got the [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] that he sent her. Kacey expresses horror over the fact that - in said comic - Chris ''shoots'' Liquid. Chris defends himself by noting both that he shot Liquid only in the legs and that Liquid was coming after him with a knife. Kacey doesn't understand why Chris didn't just produce one of his usual [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] stories. Chris replies that he'd thought that this comic should be closer to real life, though he immediately thereafter backpedals to note that he doesn't own a gun in real life. When this account fails to appease Kacey, Chris offers to retcon the offending page out of the comic entirely. Kacey explains to Chris that redrawing the scene won't change the fact that he's demonstrably crazy enough to want to shoot her boyfriend. In a final word of defense, Chris suggests that Liquid is similarly insane.<br />
<br />
===="It's a very simple question!" (9:30-13:14)====<br />
In addition to upsetting her with his latest comic, Chris has disappointed Kacey by breaking his promises to clean his room and get into shape. When Kacey asks Chris if he's been jogging five miles a day, there's a long pause before Chris replies that he has. After further interrogation, Chris modifies his answer to say that he has been jogging one-and-a-half miles a day, but that he ''could'' be jogging five. When Kacey points out that Chris was just claiming that he has ''in fact'' been jogging five miles a day, Chris insists that he had simply misunderstood her question.<br />
<br />
===="That's ''not'' volunteer work!" (13:15-17:14)====<br />
Since - like Chris himself - the argument over how much Chris jogs is going nowhere, Kacey moves on to discuss further evidence of Chris's sloth. Exhibit B: Chris's ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' date level was originally made for [[Julie|another girl]]. Chris's peculiar defense: that doesn't matter because said other girl turned out to be [[BlueSpike|a dude]]. Kacey then accuses Chris of playing video games when he could've been working on his comic for her, at which point Chris briefly 'TARDS OUT. Thereafter, the hits from Kacey come fast and furious: Chris accomplishes nothing despite not going to school, not working, and not having any friends. Chris replies that although he's not working, he ''is'' filling out job applications. When Kacey questions the existence of Chris's work history, Chris claims that his time spent playing ''Pokémon'' with children counts as volunteer work.<br />
<br />
====Father Knows Best (17:15 - 19:50)====<br />
Kacey states that her [[Father Call|father is right]], Chris is insane, and that she should be with Liquid. She states that she hated the apology video, calling it fake, and that Ian's behavior was like that of a spoiled brat. Ian responds harshly, saying that he really cried. Kacey finally sees the light, saying that Ian only wants her [[China|for]] [[Chris and Sex|one]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler|thing]] and that he just wanted to take her away from Liquid to spite him. She reveals that Solid Chris told her not to talk to Liquid or see him again. Ian is either trying to be smooth or trying to [[Chris and psychology|guilt]] her into giving up by saying the first thing he thinks of when he thinks of her is what a great [[Gal pal|friend]] she is.<br />
<br />
====Sonichu di Casanova (19:51 -22:40)====<br />
Ian begins talking quietly, in small, generic sentences about how much he cares about [[China|her]]. He says that if someone were to shoot Kacey, he would be sad. Ian states how she has been nothing but good to him. Kacey declares she hates liars. Apparently, the first time they met, he did nothing but stare at Kacey's chest and insult her. Ian declares he was looking at her face, and ignores the fact that he called her fat. She points out that her face isn't under her shirt.<br />
<br />
====Here Come the Drums (22:41-30:17)====<br />
Things turn truly interesting when [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] picks up the phone on Kacey's end. Solid and Liquid yell over each other for quite a while. Kacey accuses Ian of forging his driver's license and he denies being fat. In the middle of conversation, Solid goes into 'tard rage mode and yells at Liquid and Kacey. Liquid is going to the police with the [[Sonichu Special 4|gun comic]].<br />
<br />
===="Stop being crazy!" (30:18-35:40)====<br />
Kacey doesn't think Ian is [[Autism|autistic]]. Solid invites Liquid over, but Kacey warns him that he will get shot. It is revealed that Liquid and Kacey were making passionate love at [[14 Branchland Court]]. Solid is enraged. Kacey thinks that Ian doesn't care about her, and that he is too busy being Chris.<br />
<br />
====Grand Finale (35:41 and onward)====<br />
Kacey's dad likes Liquid, not Solid. Liquid will turn [[Sonichu]] into a real franchise. Liquid has a job. Ian whines about truth and honesty. He wakes up his parents at midnight to scare off [[trolls]] on the phone. Barbara calls Kacey a bitch. Kacey tells Ian to fuck off. Liquid and Kacey will get married. Solid will chase Liquid down and prove him as the liar.<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris! It's Kacey.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hey, Kacey. How are you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''draws air through teeth''] Um... I'm okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah. Mmm. So, did you get the, uh, comic pages I sent ya?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah! Um... I'm a little ''disturbed'' by the ''violence'' in it. You— You— You ''shot'' Chris!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Only in the ''legs''. So he wouldn't g— So he wouldn’t co— So he wouldn't chase after us.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But that's— That's horrible! That's really horrible! Like, he'd be in a wheelchair! Like, he wouldn't do that to you!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well... I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Like, why did you think that was ''appropriate''? Otherwise, I mean, it was good, but... [''briefly cries and sniffles'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I mean, like...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —he's a lot ''nicer'' than that. You're trying to make yourself look better than him, but you ''shot'' him!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, he came after me— Well, I pretty much drew him coming after me with a ''knife''!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Bu— But— But ''still'', I mean, haven't you ever heard that it's more ''honorable'' to— To kill a man than to cripple him? And, I mean, it— I mean, it's your comic! You drew it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Mmm... Well...I didn't really ''want'' to ''kill'' him. I mean, I didn’t wa— I-I don't... Would you rather have— I have actually shot him ''dead'' instead of just...shooting him in the ''legs''?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well, I-I'd rather you—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Or—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —not have shot him at ''all'', but, I mean, I'm just ''saying'': it’s like, why did you have to make it so violent? Like, normally, in your comics, you, like, ''transform'' into Chris-chan Sonichu and beat them that way. Like, I've ''never'' seen you, like, attempt to ''kill'' somebody...in a ''comic'' before!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, well, I mean, I just felt like in the… I mean, I just felt like I should be more...I don't know...more real— ''realistic'' in...''these'' pages, ‘cause it's more close to real ''life'', uh—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' So, you're saying that—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —y’know—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —you would shoot him in real life?</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, in se— In self-''defense''! Mmm... I mean, yeah, my— In that— In— Y’know, seriously, though, I mean, like, y’know... In real life, I ''would'' appre— I would, uh, try— I would, uh—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Where would you get a gun, anyway?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Mmm... Well, I don’t— I do not currently own a real gun. I do not own a real gun. I drew that gun based off— Based off the, uh— Based off...Generation 1 Megatron.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Oh. Okay, so, you're basing...shooting him...on— On...''Transformers''? What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh...no. Y’see, I have the— I have the, uh, actual toy for, uh, Generation 1 Megatron. Y’know, where he actually transforms into a P38 pistol with the, uh, accessories on it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I know, but you shot him with a ''real'' gun in the comic. Like— Like...he was my boyfriend and you shot him! I mean, don't you think that I still care about him ''a little''? That's just weird. I just— I mean, like— I was expecting, like— you know, like, a magical fight, not like...you ''shooting'' him. [''laughs incredulously'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Mmm... [''smacks lips''] Well... Well, I did not realize you want— You wanted me to...cute it up a little— Cute it up a little bit in that sense. I mean, you wanted me to rescue you, and I...didn't really want— I just didn’t really feel like, uh...cute— That cute— That, uh— That...whole transformation thing was ''appropriate''.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well, uh, neither is shooting him! I mean, you can't change that! You already did that! I mean, this is the comic; I realize it’s the comic. It's supposed to be...like, ''not'' shooting people; it’s supposed to be like...the ''Sonichu''...comic. But, I mean, you— You shot him.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well...it's not officially ''published'' yet. I mean, I only— I mean, I can— I can change that ''page''. I can ''change'' that. I can fix that.</font><br />
<br>[''long pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can...get rid of the gun, and just... Yeah, maybe— Yeah, may— Yeah, I can make it less viol— ''Violent''. Okay?</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Um... I mean, but you already did it. I mean, what's done is done.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, yeah, but— Yeah, but I can change that page. I can redraw it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But you already did it. The images are already in my head!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Um... Okay, well, I'm sorry for— I did not mean for it to—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But Chris, that's crazy! I mean, that’s insane! You're— You’re calling...''Chris'' crazy, but ''that's'' insane. I mean—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —it doesn't change the fact that you wanted to ''shoot'' him.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I— Yeah, I guess it doesn't. Mmm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean, I don't feel ''comfortable'' with people like that. I mean, ''I'm'' going to school to ''save'' lives. Do you think I would approve of that? I mean, ''hell'' no! That’s crazy!</font><br />
<br>[''long pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well... Yeah, okay. Yeah. I could’ve done it better; I could’ve done it less violent. I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''growing hysterical''] If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it in the first place! I mean, like, you drew him...there...in ''pain'', and you're just ''watching'' him ''bleed'', and then you ''leave'' him! Like, uh— Like, what happens if you do that in real life? He'd die! Don't you think I would be miserable?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hmm... No, actually, I would have called 9-1-1 on him. Y’know...bring the police and the ambulance around.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Okay...and be what? Be like, "''I'' shot ''him''"? They're gonna arrest you! You're gonna call 9-1-1 on yourself? Violence doesn’t solve anything. I mean, you could’ve not shot him in the first place! 'Cause the police are just gonna go after ''you'' then. And— And then, there would be none of ''either'' of you.</font> <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright. You’re right. You’re right.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean— And especially, where you ''shot'' him, like in the ''legs''? Hello? Gravity! He's gonna lose blood a lot quicker!</font><br />
<br>[''long pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, well... Like I said, I can— I can— I can redraw that, ’cause, y’know, uh...it's not published anywhere. It's not published anywhere. It's like, yeah, I can— I can...undo that. I can redraw that page. I can change that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, I don't want you to redraw it! I don't want you to redraw it. Okay? It's already done. It— It's— I have no words to describe it. I mean...[''exhales angrily''] like...th— You did this...after the thing with my ''father'', and he told my ''brother'' about it, and my ''sister'' about it. Like, my whole ''family'' is against you. They think ''you're'' crazy. I mean, this is about your intentions, and now, what am I— What's gonna happen if, like...somebody ''sees'' this? They're gonna think you're ''insane''!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well...nobody ''has''— Nobody ''else'' has to see it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But what happens if they did? I ''don't'' get why you had to shoot my boyfriend. What the hell?</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well...my— In my defense, uh...''he'' was crazy, too.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But he didn't ''shoot'' you!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean, ''he's'' not crazy. He at least has police reports saying what happened to him, and I ''totally'' believe him. I mean, he can't ''fake'' that. And, I mean, I can't believe you ''did'' that. And, I mean—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay! Okay, okay. Okay, Kacey?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' And I was ''starting'' to believe in you again, even though...''you'' do all these things, like: you never clean your room; you never made the song; you didn't stop eating fast food, ’cause I ''totally'' know about the whole McDonald’s thing. So—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —I mean—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —see, I-I-I— Okay. Well, I ''have'' d— I ''have'' done some room cleaning. I mean, I-I—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You were supposed to have it done, like, a ''month ago''! And you ''still'' can't ''jog'', or work out, or whatever...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah. I-I-I am! I ''have'' been jogging. I ''have'' been working out. I ''have'' been doing all that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Five miles a day?</font><br />
<br>[''long pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I have.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You— You've been jogging ''five'' miles a day? Seriously...you're ''lying'' to me. I need ''proof'' for this.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —I bet you don't have the gym membership or ''anything''.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, not ''yet'' on the gym membership; I'm jogging arou— Um, I’m jogging around the ''neighborhood''.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, but I doubt it's for ''five miles''. You're seriously doing five miles? Come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It’s like... Okay—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You complained—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —it’s like, over—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —to my ''father'' about ''pulling weeds''. I ''doubt''...you're gonna do five miles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can do five miles, Kacey.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Okay—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can jog five miles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —have you— Have you— Did you do it today? ’Cause you told me you're—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I jog—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —doing it every day, so obviously, you did it ''today''?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, I did it today. I jogged...''once'' around the neighborhood. That's about one-and-a-half miles. I could jog more than that, and, uh, jog up to ''five'' miles. I can do that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, you said you j— You just told me that you jogged five miles every day. You're lying to me ''already''? To my face?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no. Okay, okay, wait. We had a ''miscommunication''...alright?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, you said "''yes''". ''I'' said "Do ''you'' jog five miles every day?", and you said "''yes''". That's not miscommunication; that's ''lies''.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, well, I mis— I misunderstood the ''question''. I thought you said—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''speaking rapidly''] How can you misunderstand the question? It's a very simple question! I wasn't asking it to you in Japanese!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay. Alright. But anyway, yeah, I have been jogging one-and-a-half miles every day.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' ''Bullshit!'' Kim and I talked about how much you "jog". I ''know'' you don't jog.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, I do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Five minutes isn't jogging. You can’t even do enough to get your ''heart'' rate up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, I can.</font><br />
<br>[pause]<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' ''No'', you can't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And I do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You just sit around and play video games. You haven't done anything you said you were gonna do for me, and then you— You show a comic with you ''shooting people''! And— And— And— And...I'm supposed to be like "Yay! Thank you!"?</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright. Well, yeah, I— Okay, well, I admit I was wrong in drawing that. And...I cannot undo it, but...okay, well, what can I do to make up for that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' For what? The comic? Jogging? It— It's too late. You— I mean, it's ''done''.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, we're— Well, we’re talking ’bout for the comic, still, here. What can I do to make up for that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You shot someone! You can't make up for it. I'm gonna remember that! That's creepy! That's insane!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You’re right...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' ''Besides''— And ''I'' found out that ''you'' didn't ''even'' make that date level for me. I heard you made it for another girl. That's ''so'' disrespectful.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, well, in my defense, I thought when I— Uh, before I-I later found out that that...quote/unquote "girl" was actually a ''dude''.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' ''Doesn't matter.'' No wonder you said it was so easy: ’cause you already had it ''done''!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But— But— But ''still'', the— But still-</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That's not the point!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —I created the whole new level of—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No wonder you didn’t want to do the comic! You probably weren't even gonna do the comic, besides when I kept...''bitching'' at you.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I did...[''stutters unintelligibly''] I did the comic! I did.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, ''eventually''...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I had— I had it ''started'', and I had it mostly done! I finished coloring it today, and I-I-I sent it to you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But you even ''put'' in the video that you were doing this in— Instead of a comic because it was easier. You just wanted to play more video games.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well, ba— [''stress sighs''] Well, I m— I mis''worded'' that. I meant— I m— I meant to say "in ''addition'' to the comic." Okay?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No... I think you weren’t gonna do it. I think you were lying.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''starts 'tarding out''] NO, I WAS— NO, I WAS— NO, I HAD— I HAD IT...[''calms back down''] already— I had it ''started'', after I had— I ''had'' started. I started on it ''after'' I did the level. And then, I— And I had it almost done. I just— Just needed to color in the f-final pages today. And I did that! And—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well then, you should’ve said that. And don’t you ''dare'' fucking...raise your voice at me. I mean, why couldn't you have done it? You could’ve finished it in less than a day; you don't even have a ''job''. You don't ''do'' anything.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I...[''stress sighs''] I ''am'' doing something; I ''am'' working—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Like what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I ''am'' working on—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' What do you—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I ''have'' done—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' What do you have to do all day? You don't go to school like I do; you don't go to ''work'' like I do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But I am working on ''getting''—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You obviously don't go out with ''friends'' like I do!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm filling out the onli— I'm filling out the ''applications'', so I can work— So, I'm ''working'' on getting a job!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That doesn't take all day. I've been putting in applications to get a new job. It takes me, like, five minutes.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, for me, it— Actually, for me, it takes, like, about ten or twenty minutes.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well, y’know, you filling out something should be fairly easy ’cause you don't really have any ''work'' history. It takes, like, ''five'' minutes when you don't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, actually, I ''do'' have the work ''history''. And I listed it in my resume.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, but nobody wants to hear about.. fucking...Sonichu and Rosechu. That's not a good way to get a job!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' There's more— I mean, y’know, c’mon— There's more to it than...''that''. There's the, uh...''time at Wendy’s''. And then, I worked at—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You got fired. That's not good either.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And definitely— And definitely did the volunteer work at the— For the ''Pokémon Trading Card Game'' League.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That’s ''not'' volunteer work! That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. Like, that’s not community service!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It ''was'' volunteer work.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. I ''promise'' you that if ''you'' needed volunteer work for something, that would ''not'' count; that is ''not'' community service. I mean, you were already there to ''play'' ''Pokémon''? That’s ''not'' community service; that's ''babysitting''.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, well... Yes, okay, well, that ''was'' babysitting, but it was ''volunteer'' babysitting.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''nearly laughing in disbelief''] Still. Not. Community. Service. Community service is like [[Wikipedia:Candy striper|''candy'' striping]], helping out with the ''humane'' society, going and ''reading'' to people in old folks’ homes, planting some ''trees''! Uh, uh, um... ''Humanity''— Uh, the— Habitat for ''Humanity''! ''That's'' community service: things that actually contribute to society. ''Pokémon'' does not contribute to society.</font><br />
<br>[''long pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You know, my dad's totally right. You're fucking insane. And I should be with Chris, because you totally opened my eyes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Don't say that... Don't say that, that just makes me... That just makes me feel bad... I do not mean to give off the impression of being crazy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But you're being selfish, you won't do anything for me. Okay, yeah, you finally made the comic, but then you— Oh, my God. I mean, you were so nasty to my family, you just— You don't even seem apologetic at all. I mean, that whole video you made sounded so fake. That was like what my little sister does when she doesn't get her way, like a spoiled retarded brat.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''whining''] THAT WAS TRUE, I CRIED. I DID CRY.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Those weren't even REAL TEARS.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' THEY WERE REAL.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' NO, THEY WERE NOT. Don't raise your voice, seriously. That is what Kara does when she doesn't get her way.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Those were real tears.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, they weren't. I really think my dad's right, I think you just want me so you can fuck me and take me from Chris, 'cause you're jealous of Chris.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, that's not it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' YOU ARE JEALOUS. You told me not to talk to him anymore, you told me not to see him. The hell is up with that? That's my BOYFRIEND. I mean, that was like, he's the love of my life. You just want Crystal or something. You mentioned that to my dad, that creeped my dad OUT. And then you couldn't even give my dad a reason you're better than him. What am I supposed to think? I mean, what are you thinking about when you think of me, tell me right now. What are you thinking about when you think of me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I think about, like...how good of a friend you are. And how I care about you very much.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' A friend? Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And how you care about me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' A friend? You just said "a friend," that sounds like a stalker. Come on, seriously, what do you think about me? How do you care about me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I care about you very much.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' How? Not how big.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I worry about you—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You worry about me HOW? Maybe you should be more worried about me hanging around people who would SHOOT PEOPLE.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I care about your safety and well-being, and if someone shot you, I would care about you and feel sad...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Did you just say if someone would SHOOT ME?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' In my defense—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Maybe YOU'LL shoot me if I pissed you off. Come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I would not shoot you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Why not? You're obviously just— UGH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I do not even have a real gun.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But that's unstable, that is SO unstable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...Okay. Okay, I guess it is. I guess it is unstable. But...Kacey, I... When I think about you, I think about, like, the sweetest, kindest woman I've ever known in my life, who's been nothing but helpful to me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' So, then why are you gonna treat my family like that? Why are you gonna treat my boyfriend like that? Why are you gonna treat people I know like that? You lie to me and Kim all the time, and Kim's one of my best friends now.</font><br />
<br>[''dramatic pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because I'm not... Sometimes, I'm not sure what to say. And—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' So you lie? Because that's gonna be good... Why would you lie to your friends? Lying to your friends isn't good.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm most of... I mean...most of the time I'm honest. And when I do lie, it's a little lie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, there's no such thing as "little lies", all of them are big lies, especially... Me? I hate lies when you don't need to lie about them; stupid lies are the worst lies. I'd rather have a huge big lie than a little lie. You lie ALL THE TIME. That's pathetic.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I do not lie all the time, I lie ''some'' of the time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' And I mean you, like— Come on, you're lucky I gave you this much of a chance. First time you met me, all you did was stare at my chest and insult me. I mean, I can't understand how you called me fat and the— On the other hand, you were staring at me the whole time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I was looking at your face, I was staring at your face.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' My face is not down there, I'm not that short.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, I— [''Liquid interrupts'']</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Hey, baby, I'm home.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I was looking at your face...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Who are you talking to? Hmm... Lemme pick up the phone here. Hey, who's this?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Hmm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello? ...Yeah—</font> <br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Hey, wait a minute. Ugh, is this who I think it is?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, it is.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, my name is Christian Weston Chandler. You know that.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, it's not. MY name is Christian Weston Chandler and YOU are Ian Brandon Anderson. What are you doing talking to Kacey?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' She and I are friends. And my name is Christian [''inaudible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Wait, wait, which am I? Am I your girlfriend or your friend? You keep going back and forth. You're lying again.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You will always stay friends, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson. THAT IS AS FAR AS YOU GO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look! Chris! I'm so sick of you callin' me by that stupid name! I being myself, B means specifying who I am, A being singular, and Chandler being my last name! It was just a YouTube name! There is no such person as "Ian Brandon Anderson"!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Shut your stupid... Shut your mouth! You are— You are— You are Ian Brandon Anderson, I am...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I'm starting to really think you are Ian. Because, I mean, you lied to me about everything already. So why wouldn't you lie to me about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! Kacey! You saw my— You saw my driver's license!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You can fake those! You accused Chris of faking it, so why couldn't you? Maybe that's why you accused him of faking it, because you know to fake it?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Now wait a minute, Kacey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Don't you raise your voice at me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got that, I got my driver's license from the DEE-EM-VEE!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No you didn't, because your— Yours is obviously a forgery of my own good name!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' NO!!! NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes, it is!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am the real deal! I can...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Shut up!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I have all the proof and everything! You're just— You're the copycat!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you're a copycat, because all you've been doing is copying my— My moves, throughout my entire life! You say this...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you— No! You've been copying me for the past three and six months!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you can't even— No...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Okay, who am I going to believe? The guy who's hot and sexy and can play a guitar, or the person who lies to me every fucking night? I mean, come on. You ditched me the moment Chris came on the phone! Also, we're ''friends'' again? Yeah, this is why I'm with Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, and not to mention that he is fat and ugly.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''BOOM! 'TARD RAGE!''] I AM NOT FAT, GODDAMMIT!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are! You look like you weigh a good 220 pounds.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I do not weigh 220 pounds! I weigh less— I weigh a lot less than that, you— You weak little son of a bitch!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Fuck that, you probably weigh about 300...[''Liquid continues to talk smack over Chris, but he is almost impossible to hear.'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Like you would know...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am so sick of you putting me down and— And calling me all these insults to my face! AND MY NAME IS TRULY CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! I'm so sick of you pretending to be me and pretending to have all the rights to everything of mine...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Why would he want to pretend to be you? He's obviously better!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What the hell have you got— Have you had against me that— What the hell have you had against me that was like— That came up even before the year 2000? What the hell, Chris? You tell me right now!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you don't. I have the copyright— I have the copyright and you do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, yes— Oh, yes I do! Your copyright is a forgery! But anyway! All this— All this you've been doing to me, what the hell? Why have— Why have you started doing this in the first place, you little son of a bitch?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Ugh. I told you, I have not started doing anything, you did everything, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson, when you decided...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''EXPLODING WITH HALF-COHERENT RAGE''] MY NAME IS CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER, AND I'LL THANK YOU TO CALL ME THAT!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Hey! Don't talk to my boyfriend like that! And don't curse around me! Come on!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Ha! I called you something, MY name is Christian Weston Chandler, and it has been my— My— Has been my God-given name my entire life!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine! Your name is Christian Weston Chandler, my name is Christian Weston Chandler, both Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:'''No it's— It's not! [unintelligible]</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...but don't go claiming copyright to my Sonichu! You...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' He's got the copyright, you can't fake that. It's direct from the government.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' That has always been mine. Sonichu has been mine— Sonichu has been mine ever since I came up with him in the wilds of Manchester High School.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That's why he showed it first, to prove it...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You've never been to Manchester High School!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, I have! I went there for four— For four damn years!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You— But you— You stand right next... I tell you what. You stand right next to me in front of Mrs. Lori Jones, that was the— Was the— One of the teachers over at Manchester High School...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I am the real and true...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Chris, stop yelling at my boyfriend! Be respectful!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''Talking over both Kacey and Liquid now''] Or even from Mr. Pascarelli, who was the principal there! Go up right in front of him, and he would say ''I'' am the real Christian Weston Chandler and that ''you'' are the fake!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' That's it— No, she will point at you and say, "Oh yeah, who's this?" And I will say "That— This, my teacher, is Ian Brandon Anderson."</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That— Thanks for ignoring me, this is exactly why I'm going back to Chris. This is retarded. Just like you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh, pause''] Oh, Jesus. Look, Kacey, I'm sorry, but he had to get— But he— He just came in and...came against me...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Oh, gimme a break! Oh, gimme a break! You have been lying this whole time...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' YOU SHUT UP!!! YOU SHUT UP!!! You've been nothing but a pain in my— Pain in my side. You've been nothing but a pain in the friendship to— Relationship between me and Kacey.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, well— Yeah, no, you would not even— You wouldn't have access to her if it— If it was not for me, because if you hadn't been copying me this whole time, you would never even have been...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I HAVE NOT BEEN COPYING YOU, ''YOU'' HAVE BEEN COPYING ''ME''!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' God! How naïve! What relationship?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' This is not even true, it has— Not even true. You are a liar and a fraud! You naïve bastard!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! You are the liar, you are the fraud. I am so sick of you putting me— Of you calling me all that— When ''you'' know, and ''I'' know, and everybody in the whole world knows that you have been the impostor...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Stop it! You see? What am I supposed to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No! No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You see, he's at least defending me. All you're doing is arguing with him! Who do I think wants me more? Obviously, Chris does.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You know I love you, baby. Yeah— Yeah, you come to who loves you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, uh— Okay, well, I'm sorry...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You never even had a chance, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson! You make me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' MY NAME— MY NAME IS— NO, NO, NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, I already know— I have found out who you are.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' See? Look! You're getting so worked up over stupid shit! Why would I want to be with someone that naïve?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am so sick of that word!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' It's just a word. It's just a word!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You are na— You are naïve! And if I ever found you, I would say it straight to your face!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''drowning out Liquid''] You can find me right now! I live at 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville, Virginia! Just— Just over a hundred miles away from Kacey! You go— Look it up...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Why would he want to leave here? Because he'll at least come to me, so why would he want to leave?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address, you know that's my address!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' In fact, you'll just shoot him!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' If I knew where— If I knew where Kacey lived, I'd come over there. I would be over there straight as a pistol, quick as a pistol.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, right.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, speaking of the pistol, Kacey showed me the comic, where you supposedly shot me! Yeah, and I am gonna take that to the police, because that is conspiracy to commit murder and that is a felony!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, who are they gonna believe? You are not the— You are not Christian Weston— You are not me! You are not...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yes, he is! He is Christian Weston Chandler! When are you gonna stop being an idiot?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I'm sorry. I mean, yeah, you are Christian Weston Chandler, but you are not THE Christian Weston Chandler that went to Manchester High School!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Stop being crazy!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! Yes, I am! I have been the entire time!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you are not!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' And, not only that...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' YOU KNOW WHAT? GO AHEAD!!! Go ahead and take it to the police.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I will.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And then we can have the police identify between you and me and find out who was the real Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I'm sure they will be happy to...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...who has the actual life, who has the autism, who created Sonichu in the first place! I dare you to go to the police!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I created Sonichu in the first place and you know that! You're trying to— You're trying to get off on my...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Okay, what about me? What about me? I know you don't have autism papers. You cannot. You wouldn't even show me. You don't act like an autistic, for one. I mean, come on, I'm in the medical field, I've worked with them.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I have...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' For one, they're usually really smart. Number two, they're not really this narcissistic. I mean, there's— I can go on and on. I mean, you're not even caring that I'm here! You're not fighting for me! You know what? Fuck you! GOD!!! You're, like, bipolar, not autistic.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I do have the papers! My family has the papers!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Yeah, if you have them, you would scan them and put them on the Internets.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' They're probably fake, just like your driver's license, just like everything else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look. Christian.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Christian. I invite you to come— I invite you to— Write this down. 14 Branchland Court...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No! Why, so you can shoot my boyfriend?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' That is my address! That is my dang address! And you're just copying it! You're just a little copy...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, that is— That is my address. You— You— You have never even been...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you're just... You already know that that is my address and you're trying to impersonate me, so you are...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Chris, don't even listen to him, because you can stay here with me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Look. Look. Christian. Listen to me. You claim this is your address, but you have never been anywhere near it. I dare you to actually come to this actual address...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' How do you know? Are you tracking him, are you stalking him?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I am there right now!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you are not. 14 Branchland Court, Ruckersville, Virginia, 22968!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' [''Chants the last digits of the zip code with him''] Yeah. I know that. That is my address.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You are not— You are— You are not in that address!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes, I am!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' There is no way that that address is over there in D.C. It's right here! Where I'm standing!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Ugh! I am not interested. How many times do I have to get that through your stupid skull? You are so stupid! I am in Ruckersville, Virginia!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Kacey, Kacey...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I have been in Ruckersville, Virginia, for a very long time now!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait a minute— Okay, hold it— Stop, stop. Okay, Kacey, are you both really at a 14 Branchland Court?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Does it matter? Why are you talking to me now? You've been ignoring me the whole time and ''now'' you're talking to me? I mean, and shit, you're finally talking to me and you're not even fighting for me. Fuck this. He's at my place. I already said that.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, yeah... No, you listen— You listen— You listen— Hey, you listen to me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' He's at your place, but it's not 14 Branchland Court, is it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I don't live there, of course not! The hell? That's where ''he'' lives, not me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Right.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Ugh, ugh! I am telling you right now, I am— I am telling you, this— This accusation of— Of shooting me is really gonna go far. Because I saw that— It is nothing more than firearm pornography. Yeah, yeah, I— It just made me so scared for my life, because of some stalker named Ian Brandon Anderson coming after me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' MY NAME— I AM CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! When are you going to... I mean, Kacey has been to your house, and I know that your house is not 14 Branchland Court.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' It is! Yes, it is!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It is not!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' It is!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Kacey...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, and she has been to my house...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Kacey, if you have...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' ...and we were making passionate love to each other!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But it is not 14 Branchland Court.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes, it is! And that is where— Exactly where we were making passionate love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Chris, you don't even care about me, do you? You don't care about me, because you... You, you're more worried about being Ian Brandon Anderson than the fact that I'm right here!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Ah, Jesus, Kacey... Yeah, okay...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' This is why Chris is here and you're not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, Kacey, please...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' This is why my family loves him and not you.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' [''First part of sentence is drowned out'']...that he is Ian Brandon Anderson, he is a psychopath! He's not sane!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I think I'm starting to realize that. I mean, you're delusional!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey, you know it— You know it— You know that I'm true, please— Believe— Please, Kacey, don't do— Don't do this...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, he is not true! He is a liar and a fraud, he...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' What about everything you said? You compared my grandma dying to your dog dying. I've had dogs die before, too. Not anything like Grandma dying. You know, just saying.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' And I would never be that disrespectful, because I am the real, loyal...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I'm sorry about that lousy— Okay, I'm sorry about that comparison, Kacey.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, just shut up, you're not going to make it up this time. You are— You have always just been this naïve, because that's all— That's all you've ever been, just a...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''Drowns out Liquid''] And you pissed off my family. I mean, my family hates you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Okay, well...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Just shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' My dad gave Chris his blessing, not you.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, I am the only one deserving of the blessing, because I have proven myself worthy of it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, okay, okay— Well, you can have— Okay, that's fine, you can have Kacey...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Okay, yeah— Shut up! Yeah!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...but you— But you— But I say— You know— But you know it, and I know it, that you are not all that, and I am the original Christian Weston Chandler— I am Christian Weston Chandler, I created everything there!</font> <br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' [''Much of his statement is drowned out.'']...original copyright on the Sonichu!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you do not!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' It has always been mine, and I am going to turn it into a real franchise!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you— No, you are not! You are not! I am— I am. You are not! I am!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You are not— You're just a nobody!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're— You're just a— You're— No, you're the— No, you're the nobody, you're the copycat!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Sure, you're just a nobody, you don't have the real TRUE and HONEST fanbase.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''about to cry''] I am so sick of this! [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You don't even have the papers. Until you prove it, you have nothing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are just a worthless waste of life.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh! Geh— No, you are the worthless waste of life, Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you are!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I am doing something with my time, Mr. Anderson, except for just copying someone else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' He has a job, he does things!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, well, he has a job, but he's not— You know that he's not the original creator of Sonichu, you know he just...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! I am!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' How do I know that anymore? You lie to me all the time! And I've watched him draw.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I draw— I draw Sonichu for you all the time, Kacey.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' He— He— But he does not have the same drawing style I's drew— I do— I showed you my— It was right there in front of you at the Fashion Square Mall!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''Chris drowns out part of her reply.''] I know, but I mean, I could draw it, too. I can... [''sigh''] It's not that important to me, anyways. Sonichu is some kids' thing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' It has always been my original hand-drawing style. It's the same kind that I used in the wilds of Manchester High School.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You have never been to Manchester High School.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes, I have!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' How do you know that? Unless you've been keeping tabs on him his whole life.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because he has...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Graduated class of 2000!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' He's only prete— He's only pretending that— He's stealing me, he's stealing all that. He's just copying.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well, obviously you don't care about me, because you said he can have me, so, I mean, fuck you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I— No, I do care about you, Kacey!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Stop the charade, we already know you're a liar, Mr. Ian Brandon...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' The only thing that you care about is being Christian Weston Chandler. Thanks for showing me that you care about me! You lied to me this whole time!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''loud, angry sigh''] No, I...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''RAGE''] I HAVE NOT BEEN LYING TO YOU, KACEY!!! GOD!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, you have been! You've been lying to everyone on the Internet!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I have not been lying to anybody! [''breaking down''] I have been honest and true.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You have not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Oh, hang on a second, guys...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You are just a fraud! Your whole life is a fraud!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''He's talking to his parents.''] The one in the brown stripes, who's taking Kacey?</font><br />
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' Well, good...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I want you to talk to him and tell him off, I'm sick of telling him off. He's still calling me that— God, Ian Brandon Anderson. [''Talking to Kacey and Liquid again''] You better still be there, because I'm going to have you talking to the real Robert Chandler in a second! [''Back to his parents''] Please, help me out here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' What the... Well, what's going on? You there?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''pause''] Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Who is this?</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' Who is this?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Kacey.</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' This is Rob...[''Static cuts him off''] She ain't saying anything, Christian.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Kacey, please, just— Just lis— Just— That's my father, Robert Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I know, I keep talking to him. He can't hear me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, he can hear you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' No, I can hear her...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, he keeps saying hello.</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' What? What do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Right now, I just want him to— There, to talk to the— Tell that Chris off!</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' Well, right now it's midnight. What in the world do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' She don't want anything, talk!</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' She don't wanna talk, either. She can't talk or cat's got her tongue.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Kacey, please talk...[''He's carrying on a faint conversation with Barbara in the background.'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I'm sorry, I'm really confused. Like, one minute I'm talking to someone, and the next minute I'm not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' Hold it right there. You don't have to listen to 'em, just hang up on the bitch!</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' [''unintelligible'']...don't answer!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I was— I was trying to get y'all to talk to that Chris over there, because he's over there with her right now!</font><br />
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' I don't care where they are, their— They might be lying to you!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' He's still pretending to be me, with this address!</font><br />
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' Christian, just shut up and hang up on 'em! [''unintelligible'']...if you're upset! Don't ever answer the phone when they call!</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' Tell 'em go to bed(?)!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' That's your fault!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, hiding behind daddy's skirt. That's what I thought.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, I like how I'm a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, Chris, shut the hell up. Kacey, I'm sorry, I'll talk to you later.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, you're just— Yeah, I knew you would this entire time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Just...SHUT UP!!! Talk to you later, Kacey, I love you. I do love you...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, shut up! Kacey, are you with me— Are you with me or are you with him?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You! At least you're not calling me a bitch. Because I find that extremely disrespectful.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, that was my mom. That was my mom who said that!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, of course.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well, good. My family hates you, your family hates me.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Are you with me, baby? Are you with me— Are we gonna get married?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, shut up, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah. Let's go get married. Because I can't deal with this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can't deal with him still pretending to be me!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, well, you are always the...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' He's not pretending to be you, he's better than you. Why would he pretend to be you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' He's prete— He's pretend— He's been a liar the whole time, you know it...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You— You are just a less-worthy version of me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I sh— I sh— I showed you the certificate and the diploma!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, they're fake.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And the degree, Kacey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Whatever, I can't deal with this. You're calling everyone a liar when you're the biggest liar I know.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am not the liar!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' And then you bring your parents on here. Your parents are going to insult me like that, what do you want me to do? What do you think I'm gonna do? That's crazy, that's insane.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just don't— I just don't understand the situation! I was trying to get them to talk to that Chris! Trying to get them to talk...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Kacey, are you officially broken up with him? Are you officially breaking up with him?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean, you lied about McDonald's, jogging, video games, television. I mean, all that seems a lot more important than me, so I get it— Don't worry, I get it.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Are you officially breaking up with him?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey. You are important!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, I get it. Apparently, I'm not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I was trying to pro— I was trying to protect you from that goddamn liar!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Make it official, Kacey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, but your mom called me a bitch. You didn't even defend me! You were just like "talk to her, talk to her!" What was I supposed to say? That was embarrassing! That's how you want your parents to... That's the first time your parents met me! That's what you wanted? Good job.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Are you officially broken up...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no, no, no. [''sigh''] I was trying to get them to talk to the Chris! [''sigh''] Look, Christian Weston...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, you told them to talk to me! Why do you use your parents to defend you? My parents don't defend me.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You gotta— You gotta tell me. Are you officially broken up with him?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Okay, now listen. Kacey, I'm sorry about it, I'm sorry about that misunderstanding, I'll talk to you later. And as for ''you'', Christian Weston Chandler over there, I AM GOING TO FIND YOU AND I AM GOING TO HAVE YOU PROVEN AS THE LIAR!!! Good night. [''Hangs up'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Oh, fuck you.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Baby...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That's great, when I say "No, fuck you!" I can't believe... Oh my god, Barbara called me a bitch. Oh, oh my god! [''laughs''] We know how much you love it when people call me a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Uh, yeah, I know, right? [''unintelligible''] That was great.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' OH...MY...GOD... That was the best call...ever. I can't believe we got Barbara and Bob.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I can't believe we got half the stuff we got...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Gecko, it was definitely a different voice that called me a bitch. That was definitely Barbara that said "Just hang up on the bitch!"</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yup... Yup... Yup...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Okay, so back to [[Mumble]]! [''giggles'']</font><br />
<br>[''tape runs out'']<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Father Call]]|nextlink=[[Chris Chan gets chewed out by Kacey]]}}<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
* Download [http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?eojywemfkom the Call]<br />
* Listen to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAuNEyPsuX0&feature=channel the call on YouTube]<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]]<br />
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Template:Check_this_out&diff=154170
Template:Check this out
2011-12-12T00:20:11Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: this template is slightly out of date</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Navbox<br />
|title = New to the CWCki? Check this out!<br />
|name = Check this out<br />
|state = collapsed<br />
|group1 = New? Start here!<br />
|list1 = [[Frequently Asked Questions|Chris-chan FAQ]] • [[A Quick Guide to CWCki|A Quick Guide to the CWCki]] • [[CWCki:Priority Listing|CWCki To-Do List]] • [[Special:Newpages|The Newest Pages!]]<br />
|group2 = Major Articles<br />
|list2 = [[Sonichu (comic)]] • [[CWC-isms]] • [[CWChronology]] • [[Relics of Fail]] • [[Chris E-Mails]] • [[CWCipedia]] • [[List of videos]] • [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)]] • [[Homos]] • [[Autism]] <br />
|group3 = Don't know where to go?<br />
|list3 = [[Christian Weston Chandler]] • [[Megan Emails, 2005-2006]] • [[Story of My Current Days]] • [[Future Message]] • [[CWC's Second Message]] • [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]<br />
|group4 = [[Saga|Sagas]]<br />
|list4 = [[Megan]] • [[Adam Stackhouse]] • [[ED]] • [[Blanca]] • [[Jimmy Hill]] • [[Clyde]] • [[Panda]] • [[Miyamoto]] • [[Julie]] • [[Ivy]] • [[Liquid]] • [[CWCipedia]] • [[Asperchu]] • [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Tito]] • [[The GAMe PLACe]] • [[Fridays After Five|CWC]] [[Flipnote Hatena|Exile]] • [[Jackie]] • [[Tomgirl]]<br />
|group5 = Chris and...<br />
|list5 = {{Chris and text}}<br />
|group6 = Notable [[Template:People|People]]<br />
|list6 = [[Bob Chandler]]† • [[Barbara Chandler]] • [[Christian Weston Chandler]] • [[Megan Schroeder]] • [[Mary Lee Walsh]] • [[Sweethearts]] • [[Clyde Cash]] • [[Liquid Chris]] • [[Michael Snyder]] • [[Rocky Shoemaker]]<br />
|group7 = Notable [[Template:Places|Places]]<br />
|list7 = [[14 Branchland Court]] • [[Chris's room]] • [[CWCville]] • [[The GAMe PLACe]] • [[Manchester High School]] • [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] • [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]<br />
}}<br />
<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It's an expandable section which contains an assortment of links to help people find out more about Chris and the CWCki. This template already contains a lot of links, therefore only very significant and "helpful" articles should be added.}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude></div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Pfargtl9000&diff=154169
User:Pfargtl9000
2011-12-12T00:06:15Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{collapsible|Userbawxes|<br />
<center>{{JERK}}<br />
{{White}}<br />
{{Americunt}}<br />
{{Atheist}}<br />
{{LiquidChris}}<br />
{{ClydeCash}}<br />
{{JackThaddeus}}<br />
{{Kitty}}<br />
{{PS2}}<br />
{{PS3}}<br />
{{Hex-Box}}<br />
{{Wii}}<br />
{{GrammarNazi}}<br />
{{Observer}}</center><br />
}}<br />
<br />
Oh hi there. I fucked up last year and left. Now I'm back.</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Pfargtl9000&diff=154168
User:Pfargtl9000
2011-12-12T00:03:56Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{collapsible|Userbawxes|<br />
<center>{{Box}}<br />
{{JERK}}<br />
{{White}}<br />
{{Americunt}}<br />
{{Atheist}}<br />
{{LiquidChris}}<br />
{{ClydeCash}}<br />
{{JackThaddeus}}<br />
{{Kitty}}<br />
{{PS2}}<br />
{{PS3}}<br />
{{Hex-Box}}<br />
{{Wii}}<br />
{{GrammarNazi}}<br />
{{Observer}}</center><br />
}}<br />
<br />
Oh hi there. I fucked up last year and left. Now I'm back.</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Rocky_Shoemaker_call&diff=154140
Rocky Shoemaker call
2011-12-11T20:12:37Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{delete|speedy|this isn't supposed to be here yet}}<br />
On December 8, 2011, a troll called [[Rocky Shoemaker]] and pretended to be a court-appointed psychiatrist, "Dr. Perron." In the process, "Perron" managed to get a variety of details about the Chandlers' living conditions from her.<br />
<br />
It is revealed that there is a severe bug infestation at [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's home]], which might explain why he was "[[Voicemail greeting#6 December 2011|sick]]". The call also reveals that [[Bob]] was originally hospitalized and quarantined for "bug bites" before he died. Doctor Perron advises Ms. Shoemaker to convince Barb and Chris to move out of the property whilst the trial goes on and that perhaps Ms. Shoemaker could find them a temporary home within the church outreach program whilst Doctor Perron arranges a fumigation of the property.<br />
<br />
The call is available at [http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?s1o5yaa51ga7lpc].<br />
<br />
== Transcript ==<br />
<br />
(Phone ringing) <br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Hello?<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Good afternoon, uh, is this, uh, Ms. Shoemaker?<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: I...I beg your pardon?<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Uh, is this, uh, Ms. or Mrs., uh, Shoemaker?<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Yes.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Uh, thank you. Um, yes, uh, I, my name is, uh, Dr. Perron. I was appointed by the court to, uh, give an assessment of Chris' mental health. Have you been aware of all...any of this?<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Uh, no, I don't have any authorization to talk to anybody about this.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Oh, well, he suggested that we give you a call. You've been his pastoral counselor for some time.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Yeah, but I would have to see something in writing, uh, simply because I have been getting a lot of [[Prank calls|unauthorized phone calls]].<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: From the court, or from this office?<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: From, from, from...people claiming to be part of all this.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Well, um...sorry...did you say, did you say that...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: So...<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: ...did you say that you have recieved a call from this number before? Because, I did ask my secretary to try and reach you if she could. But that may have been her.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: I, I, I don't, I, I, I...your number is listed as unknown, so I have no idea what your number is.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Oh, well, I'm calling from virginia. Um, oh...*sigh*...well, uh, I suppose if there are security purposes...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: If you could...if you could fax an authorization, I'd be very happy to talk with you.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Certainly, do you have a fax number?<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Or if you could, or if you could, or if you could go through, uh, the lawyer, Robert Bell, uh, he would certainly authorize it.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Well, I've already spoken to Mr. Bell, and he's, uh, he gave me a list of numbers, of people that Christian recommended that we should get in touch with to, uh, come through some kind of assessment process, and uh, you're on top of the list.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Okay...<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Have you spoken with...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: That, that, that would be, that would be fine...I, I would just either have to have something in writing or I'd have to hear something from Mr. Bell himself. And that's just to protect Christian, um, because I've had police reports filed over the past two years around all of this, because of misuse of my phone.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Well, uh, yes, I was...I was made aware of everything that had been happening. Uh...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Yeah.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: What if this was previous to the, uh, to the current case?<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Yeah, yeah. I could understand that.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Yes.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Uh...<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: This is what we were trying to do. We were attempting to get a kind of, uh, historical perspective on everything that had been going on. But, um, It's been very difficult, uh...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Right. That makes perfect sense and I would be very happy to help with it. But, I, I do need to have some authorization.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Well, uh, I shall be meeting with Christian in uh, in, uh, Branchland Court uh, on the...hold on a second...either the tenth or the eleventh...hold on...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Mm-hmm.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Oh, yes, it would be the tenth. Uh, yeah, so we should be up there on the tenth. Uh, eleven o'clock in the morning? Uh, we just wanted to meet with Christian...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Uh-huh.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: ...um, I suppose, if you wanted to, uh, to have some kind of introduction, face to face, I assume Mr. Bell will be there as well, I suppose if you want to come along to that.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: That, that, that would be fine. This is on the tenth, that is...<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: On Saturday.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: What day of the week is...pardon?<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: That would be on Saturday. <br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Uh, day after tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Yes.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: At what time?<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Uh, is it, uh, ten or...hold on a second...yes, it was eleven o'clock. In the morning.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Eleven o'clock?<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Yes.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Uh-huh. I...<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: I assume...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: I...I could do that at eleven.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: All right, I assume you know the way down there. *chuckle*<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Uh, this is...would be in Mr. Bell's office?<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: No, this would be in, uh...Christian's home, uh...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Where?<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: ...Christian's home, on uh, 14 Branchland Court. He, uh, well I don't know, he, uh, requested that we, uh, liaise there and, uh, Mr. Bell seems to have gone along with it. It's, uh, a little unorthodox, but uh, we wouldn't mind seeing him inside his, uh...inside his home. To get a kind of sense of everything that had been going on...from him and his mother as well.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Where...okay, uh...let me write down the, the address again.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: It's, uh, 14 Branchland Court. It's, uh, Christian's home address.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Oh! He is meeting you at his home?<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Yes.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Um...hm! <br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Like I said, it was a little unorthodox...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: That, that...it, it...it not only would be unorthodox but I think you'll have a very difficult time work...getting anything done in that home...<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Well, how...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: ...simply because...um...w-uh, because, I, of things I know about the conditions of the home. Uh...<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Well, this is...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: That is, is not...(man in background mumbling "not okay") it's not going to be a good place to meet.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Well, they...this is again, why...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Um...<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with even, uh, seeing the address itself, to get another kind of understanding of the perspective from, uh, Christian's angle. Um...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Mm-hmm.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: At least, at least that was, the uh, the silver cloud of the lining that I was taking away from it. Um, like I said, it is rather unorthodox, but Christian requested it. And, uh, it may be, uh...prudent, I think...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: They...they, um, are having an infestation problem in that home.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Oh, really?<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: And, yeah. And, and, the health department has already visited there, and...<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Oh, my goodness.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: It...would probably not be a real wise place for you to go.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Are they still, are they still living there, or have they taken up alternate accommodation? Because, according to, uh, Mr. Bell and Christian, they were still living there....<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: No. Yeah, they are still living there.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: With an infestation, in Christian's condition?<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Mm-hmm!<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Well, that shouldn't...that shouldn't be at all. <br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Uh, no. No it shouldn't, and, uh, the social services and the health department have, have been a part of that. <br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Have you, have you spoken with social services yourself? Because we uh, we've yet to speak with him.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: I, I have not...uh, I have spoken with health department people.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Yes. I, I understood that you were sort of, um, uh, a personal assistant almost, and uh, as well as a counselor to Christian, you've accompanied him to several things before, so...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Yes. Yes. Yes I have.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Mm.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Absolutely, and I will be very happy to, to assist in, in whatever way I can.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: I'm, I...I'm not happy to hear about this infestation problem, uh, especially with Christian the way he is. Is there, is there any chance you could, uh, sort out some kind of alternate accommodation? Do you, have that kind of services at your disposal?<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Um...certainly you could meet at the church.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: No, I meant...for actual accommodation for Christian.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Oh, uh...that...that, that has to be, has to be handled through...uh...he's, he's not requesting anything alter-alternate. And any decisions like that have to come through social services, and that has been a long history as well.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: That's-that's...that's why I was recommending...perhaps, if you had a sort of, um, a sort of church outreach program where you could offer temporary accommodation just until the trial's finished with, maybe Christian would be willing to go along with that. 'Cause, I, um...I understand that he doesn't want to move from his residence, but I also understand the infestation's a very bad thing at the moment. Especially with everything that's going on, so...we might want to recommend something that...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Uh, well, this has been, has been, has been a situation ongoing over...many months. And, um, uh, Christian, Christian seems to feel that he has stayed away from it. Uh, but that requires him to stay just in one room...<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: The infestation.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Um...and, uh, heal-health services have, have talked with the family. Uh, so, it-it simply, uh, we have, we have always met with the family at the church or at the lawyer's, or with Christian somewhere wi-...in town. They have never wanted us to come to the house...<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: No, I can't understand...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: And...and, uh, I-I don't think Christian would be comfortable with me coming there.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Well, he-he did request, well I, I assume he requested that you would be there as well, but he did ask me to come down there to the residence. I don't really know what that's about now, or if Mr. Bell's going to be there or not.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Yeah...uh, I, I would...<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Personally, personally...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: I would be happy to talk with him...<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Personally, I have no problem going down there myself...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: ...and, and see if I can...pardon?<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: I said, personally I have no problem going down there myself, I'm sure, I've seen far worse places...whatever kind of, infestations are going on. Um, but I was kind of hoping that we could have counted on your support to come along. If only, to sort of...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Um...<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: ...to sort of handle the introductions in a personal way, with someone that Christian already knows.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Mm...yeah. Uh...let me, let me talk with Christian and see if the same thing could be done at the church.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: All right. I'll tell you what, I'll uh...I'll ask my secretary to give you a call back, and we'll try and go from there.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Okay.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: All right, should be about...in an hour or two.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Okay...<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: I've got to, uh...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Can I have your name again, please?<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Uh, this is Dr. Perron. P-E-double R-O-N.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: ....Doctor...Perron?<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: P-Perron. P-E-double R-O-N.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Uh-huh.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Yes.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Okay, and...<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: I'm all set to give you a call back, and hopefully we can figure out what's going on before, uh, before Saturday.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Yeah, yeah, uh....let me, let me call Christian and, and see...I-I just...I would have, working on a...on a family systems and on a pastoral counseling psychological basis...<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Right.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: I-I would not think that that would be a good place to do the interview. Uh, they're going to be defensive. They're going to be trying to...<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Christian...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: ...protect you from...<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Yes...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: ...uh, the nurses that went out there found that a very difficult place to try to work with them.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Well, even so...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Um...<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: It...it would make sense though, in order to just, to gain that kind of persepective and see things from Christian's angle a little more. I-I-I do understand what you're saying about trying to put it in a, uh, a neutral environment, but, uh...I'm not too sure now. I wasn't aware that it's as bad as you say it was.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: I have not been there, and I do not know...<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Oh.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: But...um, except from what the nurses have said.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Uh, which nurses were these?<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Public health...nurses.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: And how long ago was that? Was that...was that fairly recent?<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: That, that was, uh...around the time of his father's death, his father's death. They were out there because of...<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: I have no idea...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: ...paitent discharge procedures and such...<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: All that would have been about, um two or three months ago, I think. So yes, that is recent.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: And, and, he was...he was, while he was in the hospital, under quarantine because of it.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Christian was?<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: No, Christian's father.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Oh, oh. So he, he's, he contracted something from the...from the infestation?<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: He, he had...had, bug bites all over him.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Oh, gee. Good God. Well that's...all right, uh, Miss, uh Mis-is it Miss or Mrs. Shoemaker?<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: M-M-Miss Shoemaker. <br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Miss Shoemaker.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Miss Shoemaker.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Um, I, I...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: It's Reverend Shoemaker, actually.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: I'm sorry?<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: I-I said actually, I-I...officially, it's Reverend Shoemaker.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Oh, rev-I didn't realize. Okay, um...all right, I think the best way to proceed, if you could, um, if you could speak with your church outreach group, if you could find some kind of temporary accommodation for Christian and his mother...uh, just until the, uh, the court case is over...we can, perhaps, see if we can get the state to fund a cleanup or something in the process. Because that's quite horrendous. And I think we can do something about it. We should...so, if you could find some kind of temporary accommodation for them, uh...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Um...<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: ...preferably within the church, because I can understand they wouldn't want to go with, uh, outside strangers...uh, I quite understand.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: I...really doubt that they would receive that offer at all. They have not, they have not received help from social services.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Well, you could understand why it would be in Christian's best interest if you could do that, because if he was to go to the court and if they were to present an assessment with, that he was living in such conditions along with his mother...then it would not fare well at all...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Mm-hmm.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: ...and they would perhaps be completely evicted from the property. And that wouldn't be in their interests even in the least.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Yeah. Um...<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: I'm not, I'm not asking you to do this, but I-I think it would be a, uh, wise thing to do.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: I-I-I can see, I can see your point and I'll certainly talk with Mr. Bell, about...<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Yes.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: ...about whether he would rather see Christian in such a situation. Um...<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: It, it, i-i-it wouldn't be permanent, it would only have to be temporary, just until the trial is, uh, done with and we could perhaps fund a, cleanup, while they were in there, they wouldn't have to end up back for that...<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Mm-hmm.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: So, perhaps we could do that.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Mm-hmm.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Anyway, I do have to be going off, but if you could call this week with Christian, and I'll try to have somebody, uh, or possibly myself calling back in about, uh...two hours. Okay?<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: About...how many hours?<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: About, uh, two hours.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: About two hours...from now?<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Yes, uh, are you going to be there? (unintelligible)<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Uh, yeah, yeah. I'll be up until eleven, so yes.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Okay. Yeah, I'm sorry 'bout that. Um...all right, I've got to be getting off, but thank you very much for speaking.<br />
<br />
Shoemaker: Okay.<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: Okay, thank you. Goodbye.<br />
<br />
(Skype hangup sound.)<br />
<br />
Doctor Perron: God, damn. *sighs* I was not expecting ANY of that. (typing)</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Answering_Machine&diff=154015
Answering Machine
2011-12-09T00:07:03Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: Redirected page to Voicemail greeting</p>
<hr />
<div>#REDIRECT [[Voicemail greeting]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Answering_Machine&diff=153986
Answering Machine
2011-12-08T03:35:31Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: Redirected page to Voicemail message</p>
<hr />
<div>#REDIRECT [[Voicemail message]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Talk:Greene_County_Conspiracy&diff=153933
Talk:Greene County Conspiracy
2011-12-07T03:06:43Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: /* Move */ fffffffffffffffff</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Not A Forum}}<br />
<br />
Starting transcription [[User:Urist|Urist]] 04:55, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
<br />
A video was released earlier by solidsnakeproductions giving a gay craigslist user looking for good times directions to Chris' house...could this be why he made this video? [[User:LouisLash|LouisLash]] 2:14, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*Doubtful. By the sounds of it, Chris won tickets for some sporting event, no one wanted to go with his smelly ass and when he did go, he was reminded he was a [[Virgin with rage]] by the lovey-dovey couple beside him. Thus, he decided to go after others, blaming ''two fucking counties'' for playing Kick the Autistic!--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:17, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
==Rename==<br />
I know, it just got put up, but this page needs a better name. I vote for either "Chris Whines The Blues" or "The Greene County Conspiracy"--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:09, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*Moving it here, so it can be seen.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:15, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*I like "The Greene County Conspiracy". -[[User:Ezra Mason|Ezra Mason]] 05:39, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
**That name sounds good.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 22:15, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
**"The Greene County Conspiracy" is great. [[User:Kynes|Kynes]] 00:42, 10 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
What's the "100 2178" supposed to mean--is it just random gibberish for blank videos or is there some meaning to it?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 06:31, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*No, that's just the file number Chris uploaded this to.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 06:33, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
Who wants to note all the aesthetic similarities to [[Song of Christian]]? We could call it Song of Christian II : Electric Boogaloo. [[User:TheBrownSonichu|TheBrownSonichu]] 07:34, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*/sign --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 23:32, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
Why don't we just call it 8 May 2010? --[[User:Aldrasio|Aldrasio]] 10:52, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*8 May 2010 is the proper thing to call this. That said, if we're gonna give it a custom title, I would suggest "Chris looks back".--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 16:06, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*I'd suggest "Chris Breaks Down". [[User:N. Onymous|N. Onymous]] 22:15, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*How about "The Bourne Autistic" or "eternal despair of the autistic mind" or simply "Chris has 0 friends" or "Chris has 0 friends (the Greene county conspiracy uncovered)"-[[User:OfficerBagget|OfficerBagget]] 23:37, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*I think it should be called 'Chris goes emo' --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:47, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
*Yes, it's not a useful name but as we've discussed before, ideally we should be keeping Chris's original naming. I'd rather leave it, to be honest. If people have people locating this video, we'll consider renaming it then, unless someone has a more compelling argument. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:57, 10 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
*I vote for "The Greene County Conspiracy."<br />
<br />
*I would vote for "Chris Gets the Greene County Blues." See its funny cause green and blue are colors that go well together! Barring that, I'd say "The Greene County Conspiracy" would be a great choice title. --This post brought to you by [[User:ShotgunJones|ShotgunJones]] 02:44, 10 May 2010 (UTC). Thanks for reading!<br />
<br />
*Either the current title (original video name without the useless .MOV file extension), or date. Barring that, "Live from the pits of paranoia: The Greene County Conspiracy, or how a narcissistic manchild thinks every bad thing is everyone else's fault, part the umpteenth." (I know long titles aren't in fashion, but...) --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' <span style="font-size:smaller;">([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]])</span> 12:08, 10 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
*I for one like the current title's mysterious quality, but renaming it with words would be more useful in the long run, especially since Chris might reference this video in the future. I see a lot of people are trying to be clever, but "The Greene County Conspiracy" is the most accurate (and popular) title being discussed. [[User:CWCspatcher|CWCspatcher]] 15:11, 10 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
I'd go for the cwcvillelibrary's name of dem autistic blues.<br />
[[User:Dkd|Dkd]] 19:54, 10 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
I vote Green county Conspiracy I mean he obviously thinks there is one so why not just do as his delusions make him thing? [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]<br />
<br />
Greene County Conspiracy go. '''NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!''' --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 08:27, 20 June 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
I cast my vote for "Greene County Conspiracy"; the name relates to the video's subject matter and it's a lot easier to remember than a bunch of numbers. --[[User:Famicon64|Famicon64]] 13:42, 13 August 2010 (PDT)<br />
<br />
"The Green County Conspiracy" seems to be the consensus, yet the page's title remains unchanged. What's the hold up, people?--[[User:Austin|Austin]] 10:26, 23 August 2010 (PDT)<br />
<br />
==Cry some more, Chris==<br />
Hahahahahaha! His tears taste magnificent! Greatest CWC video in a while. We're fucking breaking him. [[User:CrookedSmirk|CrookedSmirk]] 05:30, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*"We" didn't do shit. Chris did this to himself, yet again proving that no one trolls Chris better than Chris. [[User:Brofose|Brofose]] 07:46 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
==Pertinence==<br />
This is worth mentioning in so many other articles. Namely, the articles on [[reality]] and his [[ego]] come to mind. It's a conspiracy, folks! -[[User:Ezra Mason|Ezra Mason]] 05:39, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*Maybe we could link his newletter to here to show another way he is similar to a conspiracy theorist.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 22:17, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
== Chris's Shirt. ==<br />
<br />
Hey everyone. I make a crappy smalltime riffing video series for fun, and I decided to ''possibly'' riff this video. I typically brighten videos up when I riff them if they're retardedly dark, and I noticed no one had an idea of what shirt he's wearing, so I took a screencap of my best effort to brighten Chris's day.<br />
<br />
http://imgur.com/ygTLM.jpg<br />
<br />
It appears to be a new shirt, either a tank top or a tee with the sleeves rolled up, with what I ''believe'' to be the Hogwarts shield on it. Chances are I'm wrong on that, though.<br />
<br />
Also, I've noticed he's lost ''alot'' of hair. That may be the reason why he's obstructing himself.<br />
<br />
I hope it helps! --[[User:ToyoWolf|Kimo]] 05:45, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
* First of all, it looks like the shirt's an orange ''Sonic Heroes'' t-shirt. The little emblem by his left manboob looks like the ''Sonic Heroes'' logo. Second of all, holy shit, where did his hair go?! I know he had more than that when he did that video gloating over removing that piece!--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:48, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
* That frame exaggerates the state of his hair. The camera isn't looking straight at him like it is in the beginning, and the aspect ratio hasn't been enforced. Here's another frame: http://i.imgur.com/Ic9XE.jpg --[[User:Lurker|Lurker]] 06:20, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
* Ah, crap, I forgot I changed the ratio. Sorry about that x3<br />
<br />
Yes, this one is much better. I can tell there is a character in that emblem on his shirt, but I'm not sure who it is... It looks like either Dee Dee from Dexter's Lab or XJ9 from My Life As A Teenage Robot to me. It also looks like there's a...rocketship? I believe? --[[User:ToyoWolf|Kimo]] 06:26, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
Almost thought it was the shirt from "10 September 2009" since the first person mentioned rolling up the sleeves, until I saw the emblem. --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 07:16, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
* Isn't this the "Jerkop" shirt he used to wear during the Ivy saga? It looks orange in this video and the "Jerkop" one is bright yellow, but seeing how bad the quality is... --[[User:Goronian|Goronian]] 12:28, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
*Why not have some kind of official redirect? The redirect would be named "The Greene County Conspiracy" of course. --[[User:Sonichuis44|Sonichuis44]] 07:19, 11 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
==The Conspiracy==<br />
I guess I misunderstood the video, because I thought Chris was whining that he would have had a better life in Chesterfield county, but the Chandlers got stuck in Greene county because they couldn't sell the house they are currently living in. Could somebody help a poor slow-in-the-mind like me figure this out? Thanks in advance (please type slowly). [[User:Squirrelbait|Squirrelbait]] 06:17, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*Assuming what Chris is telling us is true, I reckon it goes like this. For about the latter five years of the 90s, 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville was empty while the Chandlers lived in Richmond and Chris was in high school. If they'd successfully sold 14 Branchland Court, they would have had the money to buy a permanent place in the Richmond area. Since they couldn't sell it, it wasn't cost-effective to keep renting homes in Richmond while also paying property taxes on the Ruckersville house and letting it fall into even worse disrepair. Thus, the move back to Ruckersville after Chris graduated high school. Which more or less rings true to me, altogether. (The part about realtors conspiring with the school district...well, yeah.) Anyway, I updated a couple of the articles on Chris's homes with this data, I think I hit the main ones that needed it. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 06:26, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
(1) Chris attends elementary school in Greene County, where sitting on the principal's lap gives him homophobia and a group of teachers abuses him by holding him down and recording his screams and cries. The school board wants him institutionalized so his family moves to Chesterfield County, but keep their house in Greene County.<br />
(2) Chris goes to school in Chesterfield County, where he Comes Out of His Autistic Shell, makes lots of Gal-Pals, and creates Sonichu.<br />
(3) Chris graduates and moves back to Greene County, away from all of his Gal-Pals, and begins his decline. PVCC is in Greene County. If his family had been able to sell their house (it sounds like they must not have had any interest in selling their house) then they would still live in Chesterfield County. You can see pictures of the move in A Week In The Life of Christian Weston Chandler, which is about his High School graduation [[User:Urist|Urist]] 06:25, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
Simple answer: Chris is blaming everyone else for his problems. How do you not get how this works? [[User:BrokenDead89|BrokenDead89]] 06:30, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
tl;dr, everything bad in Chris's life is the fault of <s>Adam Stackhouse</s> <s>Joshua Martinez</s> <s>Jerkops</s> <s>Clyde Cash</s> <s>THE IMPOSTOR</s> <s>That Damn ED Page</s> <s>The Cwcki</s> <s>Michael Snyder</s> <s>Ms. Roach the Babysitter</s> <s>Chris's principal</s> The Greene County School Board of the early 1990s. [[User:Hurrrr2|Hurrrr2]] 06:32, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
Thanks, guys, it's making sense now (as much as anything Chris-related can). I think the article on this video has the Greene and Chesterfield houses mixed up, which derailed me. [[User:Squirrelbait|Squirrelbait]] 06:34, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*You're right, the summary had that mixed up. Good catch. Fixed that and added a link. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 06:41, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
*Wait, I'm confused now. Was Greene County involved with the two bugs in his PS3? I guess that makes since, because county officials would have the access. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 09:27, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
==The end of the Y.A.S.G. as we know it==<br />
<br />
The line regarding his attempt to find someone in his congregation to with him at the "Extreme Sports" show is revealing. Not only he used Rocky to find friends to go with him, none of them called him back. This is, for me, a proof that we can move the infamous "Young Adult Social Group" in the list of people who doesn't love Chris. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 07:39, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
*To that end, I've added a dramatic visual recreation of the event. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 09:00, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
**From what it sounds like, Chris has finally realized how socially isolated he has become, and instead of examining his behavior to see if their are any faults, he blames everyone in life that he has viewed as being mean to him. Now that even his YSAG no longer supports him or even wants to be around him, he has eventually realized that he has no friends. Apparently, this realization is so ego-shattering to Chris, he has to find other forces that are at fault for this, even though this is a problem that he specifically created... I also believe this video was purposely done in silhouette, because he doesn't want the "trolls" to see him cry. As stupid as he is, he has proven in past videos that he is capable of shooting a decently lit video. As we can all recall, when Chris was kicked out of his english class as PVCC, he was extremely distraught because no one was there to comfort him. Now that he's realized he has no one to comfort him again, perhaps we can see more drastic actions in the future: The return to stalking women in stores, trying to "be at the sociable places", and perhaps even a renewed push in the sweetheart search. That's my 2 cents --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 11:49, 9 May 2010 (EST)<br />
<br />
==Holy shit, guys==<br />
<br />
Inb4 not a forum, I just want to say that I can't fucking believe that anyone would be so idiotic. I've followed this guy for months now, but fucking hell, even the stupidest people I know have the intelligence not to blame their elementary school for people not liking them, and many of the people I know are going to flunk out of high school. Holy fucking shit. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 10:36, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
:We've been following him for years; this is childs' play. I don't know about you guys, but "You're all just immature, naive, condescending, soulless monsters." fits me to the letter --[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 10:50, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
== The radio call in contest ==<br />
<br />
Would it be possible to look into 95.1's archives to find a recording of Chris winning? --[[User:Espanolic|Espanolic]] 12:11, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*Heh, I just looked up the radio station on google to try to do this, and the tag is "Z95 Today's hits and yesterday's favorites, music for women." P.S. I'm looking now. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 12:14, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
==The contest itself==<br />
<br />
I am trying to find info on the event itself. All I could is find the stadium where the event took place, in the university of Virgina, but that's it. I can't find the event Chris went to. Any suggestions? Maybe I can get a picture of Chris as a contest winner. --[[User:Yoshi2021|Yoshi2021]] 11:02, 10 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
Googling "Extreme Action Sports" gets http://www.nbc29.com/global/story.asp?s=12447194 , which appears to be the right event. It is a motocross style thing. Very Virginia. [[User:Hazard|Hazard]] 02:02, 12 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
I think this might be it: http://www.newrocklive.com/evolutiontour/tour_dates.html [[User:Tadahima|Tadahima]] 05:42, 22 July 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
== Bob's Influence ==<br />
<br />
This seems like something Bob would say. He would be more concerned with being unable to sell 14 Branchland Court, more likely to use the phrase "paid off the realtors," and more likely to have a firmer memory of such adult details than Chris. By this token, Chris is simply repeating something his father said into the camera, taking it as fact. Then, midway through, he decides that surely the Michael Snyder incident, which Bob is either unaware of or unconcerned by, is also involved. [[User:CWCspatcher|CWCspatcher]] 15:20, 10 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
*Most likely. You have to remember: Chris is like a sponge, he takes every message than manages to permeate his thick skull (ads, statements, rants, ect) and repeats them as verbatim fact. He's too low-functioning to form his own opinions, and simply parrots what he hears and likes... Speaking of Snyder, someone contact Mao. I think his response is more than worthy of a CWCipedia AD on our spoiled little manchild's page. With any luck, it might prompt an angry response video, with ample amounts of tard raging --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 15:32, 10 May 2010 (EST)<br />
<br />
== Paranoia ==<br />
<br />
Chris seems to be growing increasingly paranoid. if he hasn't cracked yet, he's definitely cracking. That's obvious, and this video only makes the fact even more so. Ol' Mike obviously has nothing to do with this, and Chris seems to think he does. Perhaps Chris thinks he's a Jewish reptilian who was behind 9/11 too? i wouldn't put it beyond him by this point. [[User:DronePod|&quot;Order now, and i&#39;ll throw in a second beating -- Absolutely free!&quot;]] 01:28, 11 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
:I don't think that Chris is in the clutches of paranoia. Even if he got solid reasons to be (Trolling), I thinks it's the narcissism talking. For one in his life, he had an opportunity to share something and be a philanthropical show-off. He just dint understood why it dint worked. In his twisted world where he's perfect, he just went back to the past and blamed the biggest culprit his (autistic) mind can find. Since Count Graduon was taken, he went deeper. So, in his mind, he can't get better friends because the opportunity to make childhood friends was taken by the autistic-intolerant director of the Nathanael Greene Elementary School. Since he solidified this in his mind, he uses the same excuse for the mystery (in his point of view) behind the recent Game Place fiasco. So, this is not paranoia, it is pure 'Tard-Logic in action. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 02:34, 11 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
* I think "narcissism" would be a better term for it if he was doing it with any degree of deliberateness, but to be honest, narcissists are dangerous because they ARE so good at playing the crowd, manipulating people, and getting what they want. Chris doesn't have the kind of social instincts to be a narcissist. His lack of empathy is so complete that he seems to consider only himself and his needs as "real." Therefore, even completely unconnected events have to work their way through his Chris-filter before they can be interpreted into a larger world-view--he has to know what it will mean for HIM before anything sinks in. This lack of empathy directly ties in with his autism. --[[User:ArmchairShrink|ArmchairShrink]] 18:44, 19 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
==The Dirty Snyder's Response==<br />
<br />
Is there any proof that this is a real response by Michael Snyder? It just looks more like a stupid troll trying to hurt Chris. I doubt Michael Snyder spends his spare time looking for CWC videos on youtube. [[User:Hazard|Hazard]] 02:06, 12 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
:It's him. Lucas and Mimms confirmed it.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 15:56, 12 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
:: Excellent. Let's make sure he see's it, preferably in the form of a banner on the CWCipedia. I can't wait for his reaction... --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 12:19, 12 May 2010 (EST)<br />
::Then by all means, notify whoever owns the adspace nowadays.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 16:45, 12 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
<br />
==maury==<br />
I know, not a forum, but I just realized he's watching maury in the background. One has to wonder if he draws any of his influence or social cues and social knowledge/understanding from maury.[[User:Seniorcitizenvirgin|Seniorcitizenvirgin]] 03:16, 12 May 2010 (UTC)-<br />
* He's only watching Maury in the background of the (Bad) troll response video, where it's the segment about the girl who is terrified of pickles. In the real video, if you've watched it, the TV is off. [[User:Hazard|Hazard]] 09:08, 12 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*thanks. I had seen the vid, and when I was checking the pagde for da update on my phone it caught my eye but I didn't realize it was a different vid. [[User:Seniorcitizenvirgin|Seniorcitizenvirgin]] 15:18, 12 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
== Fan videos ==<br />
There are too many, i'll get rid of the last 2, unless there is a valid reason to keep those there.--[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 04:40, 5 July 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
No, you won't. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 09:04, 5 July 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
==Total noob question==<br />
Since no one else edited the name that was decided upon I decided to edit it myself. One problem: How do you edit the title at the top? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 01:00, 26 July 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
== How about "The conspiracy video"? ==<br />
<br />
--[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 04:02, 6 September 2010 (PDT)<br />
<br />
== Move ==<br />
<br />
It seems the page got renamed and this talk page wasn't moved for some reason. Could an admin or Jerkop move this talk page to "[[Talk:Greene County Conspiracy]]?" [[User:Pfargtl9000|Eratosthenes]] 19:06, 6 December 2011 (PST)</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Talk:Greene_County_Conspiracy&diff=153932
Talk:Greene County Conspiracy
2011-12-07T03:06:24Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: /* Move */ new section</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Not A Forum}}<br />
<br />
Starting transcription [[User:Urist|Urist]] 04:55, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
<br />
A video was released earlier by solidsnakeproductions giving a gay craigslist user looking for good times directions to Chris' house...could this be why he made this video? [[User:LouisLash|LouisLash]] 2:14, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*Doubtful. By the sounds of it, Chris won tickets for some sporting event, no one wanted to go with his smelly ass and when he did go, he was reminded he was a [[Virgin with rage]] by the lovey-dovey couple beside him. Thus, he decided to go after others, blaming ''two fucking counties'' for playing Kick the Autistic!--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:17, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
==Rename==<br />
I know, it just got put up, but this page needs a better name. I vote for either "Chris Whines The Blues" or "The Greene County Conspiracy"--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:09, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*Moving it here, so it can be seen.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:15, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*I like "The Greene County Conspiracy". -[[User:Ezra Mason|Ezra Mason]] 05:39, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
**That name sounds good.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 22:15, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
**"The Greene County Conspiracy" is great. [[User:Kynes|Kynes]] 00:42, 10 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
What's the "100 2178" supposed to mean--is it just random gibberish for blank videos or is there some meaning to it?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 06:31, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*No, that's just the file number Chris uploaded this to.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 06:33, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
Who wants to note all the aesthetic similarities to [[Song of Christian]]? We could call it Song of Christian II : Electric Boogaloo. [[User:TheBrownSonichu|TheBrownSonichu]] 07:34, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*/sign --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 23:32, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
Why don't we just call it 8 May 2010? --[[User:Aldrasio|Aldrasio]] 10:52, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*8 May 2010 is the proper thing to call this. That said, if we're gonna give it a custom title, I would suggest "Chris looks back".--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 16:06, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*I'd suggest "Chris Breaks Down". [[User:N. Onymous|N. Onymous]] 22:15, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*How about "The Bourne Autistic" or "eternal despair of the autistic mind" or simply "Chris has 0 friends" or "Chris has 0 friends (the Greene county conspiracy uncovered)"-[[User:OfficerBagget|OfficerBagget]] 23:37, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*I think it should be called 'Chris goes emo' --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:47, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
*Yes, it's not a useful name but as we've discussed before, ideally we should be keeping Chris's original naming. I'd rather leave it, to be honest. If people have people locating this video, we'll consider renaming it then, unless someone has a more compelling argument. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:57, 10 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
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*I vote for "The Greene County Conspiracy."<br />
<br />
*I would vote for "Chris Gets the Greene County Blues." See its funny cause green and blue are colors that go well together! Barring that, I'd say "The Greene County Conspiracy" would be a great choice title. --This post brought to you by [[User:ShotgunJones|ShotgunJones]] 02:44, 10 May 2010 (UTC). Thanks for reading!<br />
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*Either the current title (original video name without the useless .MOV file extension), or date. Barring that, "Live from the pits of paranoia: The Greene County Conspiracy, or how a narcissistic manchild thinks every bad thing is everyone else's fault, part the umpteenth." (I know long titles aren't in fashion, but...) --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' <span style="font-size:smaller;">([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]])</span> 12:08, 10 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
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*I for one like the current title's mysterious quality, but renaming it with words would be more useful in the long run, especially since Chris might reference this video in the future. I see a lot of people are trying to be clever, but "The Greene County Conspiracy" is the most accurate (and popular) title being discussed. [[User:CWCspatcher|CWCspatcher]] 15:11, 10 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
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I'd go for the cwcvillelibrary's name of dem autistic blues.<br />
[[User:Dkd|Dkd]] 19:54, 10 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
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I vote Green county Conspiracy I mean he obviously thinks there is one so why not just do as his delusions make him thing? [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]<br />
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Greene County Conspiracy go. '''NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!''' --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 08:27, 20 June 2010 (UTC)<br />
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I cast my vote for "Greene County Conspiracy"; the name relates to the video's subject matter and it's a lot easier to remember than a bunch of numbers. --[[User:Famicon64|Famicon64]] 13:42, 13 August 2010 (PDT)<br />
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"The Green County Conspiracy" seems to be the consensus, yet the page's title remains unchanged. What's the hold up, people?--[[User:Austin|Austin]] 10:26, 23 August 2010 (PDT)<br />
<br />
==Cry some more, Chris==<br />
Hahahahahaha! His tears taste magnificent! Greatest CWC video in a while. We're fucking breaking him. [[User:CrookedSmirk|CrookedSmirk]] 05:30, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*"We" didn't do shit. Chris did this to himself, yet again proving that no one trolls Chris better than Chris. [[User:Brofose|Brofose]] 07:46 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
==Pertinence==<br />
This is worth mentioning in so many other articles. Namely, the articles on [[reality]] and his [[ego]] come to mind. It's a conspiracy, folks! -[[User:Ezra Mason|Ezra Mason]] 05:39, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*Maybe we could link his newletter to here to show another way he is similar to a conspiracy theorist.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 22:17, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
== Chris's Shirt. ==<br />
<br />
Hey everyone. I make a crappy smalltime riffing video series for fun, and I decided to ''possibly'' riff this video. I typically brighten videos up when I riff them if they're retardedly dark, and I noticed no one had an idea of what shirt he's wearing, so I took a screencap of my best effort to brighten Chris's day.<br />
<br />
http://imgur.com/ygTLM.jpg<br />
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It appears to be a new shirt, either a tank top or a tee with the sleeves rolled up, with what I ''believe'' to be the Hogwarts shield on it. Chances are I'm wrong on that, though.<br />
<br />
Also, I've noticed he's lost ''alot'' of hair. That may be the reason why he's obstructing himself.<br />
<br />
I hope it helps! --[[User:ToyoWolf|Kimo]] 05:45, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
* First of all, it looks like the shirt's an orange ''Sonic Heroes'' t-shirt. The little emblem by his left manboob looks like the ''Sonic Heroes'' logo. Second of all, holy shit, where did his hair go?! I know he had more than that when he did that video gloating over removing that piece!--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:48, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
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* That frame exaggerates the state of his hair. The camera isn't looking straight at him like it is in the beginning, and the aspect ratio hasn't been enforced. Here's another frame: http://i.imgur.com/Ic9XE.jpg --[[User:Lurker|Lurker]] 06:20, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
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* Ah, crap, I forgot I changed the ratio. Sorry about that x3<br />
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Yes, this one is much better. I can tell there is a character in that emblem on his shirt, but I'm not sure who it is... It looks like either Dee Dee from Dexter's Lab or XJ9 from My Life As A Teenage Robot to me. It also looks like there's a...rocketship? I believe? --[[User:ToyoWolf|Kimo]] 06:26, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
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Almost thought it was the shirt from "10 September 2009" since the first person mentioned rolling up the sleeves, until I saw the emblem. --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 07:16, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
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* Isn't this the "Jerkop" shirt he used to wear during the Ivy saga? It looks orange in this video and the "Jerkop" one is bright yellow, but seeing how bad the quality is... --[[User:Goronian|Goronian]] 12:28, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
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*Why not have some kind of official redirect? The redirect would be named "The Greene County Conspiracy" of course. --[[User:Sonichuis44|Sonichuis44]] 07:19, 11 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
==The Conspiracy==<br />
I guess I misunderstood the video, because I thought Chris was whining that he would have had a better life in Chesterfield county, but the Chandlers got stuck in Greene county because they couldn't sell the house they are currently living in. Could somebody help a poor slow-in-the-mind like me figure this out? Thanks in advance (please type slowly). [[User:Squirrelbait|Squirrelbait]] 06:17, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*Assuming what Chris is telling us is true, I reckon it goes like this. For about the latter five years of the 90s, 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville was empty while the Chandlers lived in Richmond and Chris was in high school. If they'd successfully sold 14 Branchland Court, they would have had the money to buy a permanent place in the Richmond area. Since they couldn't sell it, it wasn't cost-effective to keep renting homes in Richmond while also paying property taxes on the Ruckersville house and letting it fall into even worse disrepair. Thus, the move back to Ruckersville after Chris graduated high school. Which more or less rings true to me, altogether. (The part about realtors conspiring with the school district...well, yeah.) Anyway, I updated a couple of the articles on Chris's homes with this data, I think I hit the main ones that needed it. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 06:26, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
(1) Chris attends elementary school in Greene County, where sitting on the principal's lap gives him homophobia and a group of teachers abuses him by holding him down and recording his screams and cries. The school board wants him institutionalized so his family moves to Chesterfield County, but keep their house in Greene County.<br />
(2) Chris goes to school in Chesterfield County, where he Comes Out of His Autistic Shell, makes lots of Gal-Pals, and creates Sonichu.<br />
(3) Chris graduates and moves back to Greene County, away from all of his Gal-Pals, and begins his decline. PVCC is in Greene County. If his family had been able to sell their house (it sounds like they must not have had any interest in selling their house) then they would still live in Chesterfield County. You can see pictures of the move in A Week In The Life of Christian Weston Chandler, which is about his High School graduation [[User:Urist|Urist]] 06:25, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
Simple answer: Chris is blaming everyone else for his problems. How do you not get how this works? [[User:BrokenDead89|BrokenDead89]] 06:30, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
tl;dr, everything bad in Chris's life is the fault of <s>Adam Stackhouse</s> <s>Joshua Martinez</s> <s>Jerkops</s> <s>Clyde Cash</s> <s>THE IMPOSTOR</s> <s>That Damn ED Page</s> <s>The Cwcki</s> <s>Michael Snyder</s> <s>Ms. Roach the Babysitter</s> <s>Chris's principal</s> The Greene County School Board of the early 1990s. [[User:Hurrrr2|Hurrrr2]] 06:32, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
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Thanks, guys, it's making sense now (as much as anything Chris-related can). I think the article on this video has the Greene and Chesterfield houses mixed up, which derailed me. [[User:Squirrelbait|Squirrelbait]] 06:34, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*You're right, the summary had that mixed up. Good catch. Fixed that and added a link. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 06:41, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
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*Wait, I'm confused now. Was Greene County involved with the two bugs in his PS3? I guess that makes since, because county officials would have the access. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 09:27, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
==The end of the Y.A.S.G. as we know it==<br />
<br />
The line regarding his attempt to find someone in his congregation to with him at the "Extreme Sports" show is revealing. Not only he used Rocky to find friends to go with him, none of them called him back. This is, for me, a proof that we can move the infamous "Young Adult Social Group" in the list of people who doesn't love Chris. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 07:39, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
*To that end, I've added a dramatic visual recreation of the event. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 09:00, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
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**From what it sounds like, Chris has finally realized how socially isolated he has become, and instead of examining his behavior to see if their are any faults, he blames everyone in life that he has viewed as being mean to him. Now that even his YSAG no longer supports him or even wants to be around him, he has eventually realized that he has no friends. Apparently, this realization is so ego-shattering to Chris, he has to find other forces that are at fault for this, even though this is a problem that he specifically created... I also believe this video was purposely done in silhouette, because he doesn't want the "trolls" to see him cry. As stupid as he is, he has proven in past videos that he is capable of shooting a decently lit video. As we can all recall, when Chris was kicked out of his english class as PVCC, he was extremely distraught because no one was there to comfort him. Now that he's realized he has no one to comfort him again, perhaps we can see more drastic actions in the future: The return to stalking women in stores, trying to "be at the sociable places", and perhaps even a renewed push in the sweetheart search. That's my 2 cents --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 11:49, 9 May 2010 (EST)<br />
<br />
==Holy shit, guys==<br />
<br />
Inb4 not a forum, I just want to say that I can't fucking believe that anyone would be so idiotic. I've followed this guy for months now, but fucking hell, even the stupidest people I know have the intelligence not to blame their elementary school for people not liking them, and many of the people I know are going to flunk out of high school. Holy fucking shit. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 10:36, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
:We've been following him for years; this is childs' play. I don't know about you guys, but "You're all just immature, naive, condescending, soulless monsters." fits me to the letter --[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 10:50, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
== The radio call in contest ==<br />
<br />
Would it be possible to look into 95.1's archives to find a recording of Chris winning? --[[User:Espanolic|Espanolic]] 12:11, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*Heh, I just looked up the radio station on google to try to do this, and the tag is "Z95 Today's hits and yesterday's favorites, music for women." P.S. I'm looking now. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 12:14, 9 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
==The contest itself==<br />
<br />
I am trying to find info on the event itself. All I could is find the stadium where the event took place, in the university of Virgina, but that's it. I can't find the event Chris went to. Any suggestions? Maybe I can get a picture of Chris as a contest winner. --[[User:Yoshi2021|Yoshi2021]] 11:02, 10 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
Googling "Extreme Action Sports" gets http://www.nbc29.com/global/story.asp?s=12447194 , which appears to be the right event. It is a motocross style thing. Very Virginia. [[User:Hazard|Hazard]] 02:02, 12 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
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I think this might be it: http://www.newrocklive.com/evolutiontour/tour_dates.html [[User:Tadahima|Tadahima]] 05:42, 22 July 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
== Bob's Influence ==<br />
<br />
This seems like something Bob would say. He would be more concerned with being unable to sell 14 Branchland Court, more likely to use the phrase "paid off the realtors," and more likely to have a firmer memory of such adult details than Chris. By this token, Chris is simply repeating something his father said into the camera, taking it as fact. Then, midway through, he decides that surely the Michael Snyder incident, which Bob is either unaware of or unconcerned by, is also involved. [[User:CWCspatcher|CWCspatcher]] 15:20, 10 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
*Most likely. You have to remember: Chris is like a sponge, he takes every message than manages to permeate his thick skull (ads, statements, rants, ect) and repeats them as verbatim fact. He's too low-functioning to form his own opinions, and simply parrots what he hears and likes... Speaking of Snyder, someone contact Mao. I think his response is more than worthy of a CWCipedia AD on our spoiled little manchild's page. With any luck, it might prompt an angry response video, with ample amounts of tard raging --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 15:32, 10 May 2010 (EST)<br />
<br />
== Paranoia ==<br />
<br />
Chris seems to be growing increasingly paranoid. if he hasn't cracked yet, he's definitely cracking. That's obvious, and this video only makes the fact even more so. Ol' Mike obviously has nothing to do with this, and Chris seems to think he does. Perhaps Chris thinks he's a Jewish reptilian who was behind 9/11 too? i wouldn't put it beyond him by this point. [[User:DronePod|&quot;Order now, and i&#39;ll throw in a second beating -- Absolutely free!&quot;]] 01:28, 11 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
:I don't think that Chris is in the clutches of paranoia. Even if he got solid reasons to be (Trolling), I thinks it's the narcissism talking. For one in his life, he had an opportunity to share something and be a philanthropical show-off. He just dint understood why it dint worked. In his twisted world where he's perfect, he just went back to the past and blamed the biggest culprit his (autistic) mind can find. Since Count Graduon was taken, he went deeper. So, in his mind, he can't get better friends because the opportunity to make childhood friends was taken by the autistic-intolerant director of the Nathanael Greene Elementary School. Since he solidified this in his mind, he uses the same excuse for the mystery (in his point of view) behind the recent Game Place fiasco. So, this is not paranoia, it is pure 'Tard-Logic in action. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 02:34, 11 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
* I think "narcissism" would be a better term for it if he was doing it with any degree of deliberateness, but to be honest, narcissists are dangerous because they ARE so good at playing the crowd, manipulating people, and getting what they want. Chris doesn't have the kind of social instincts to be a narcissist. His lack of empathy is so complete that he seems to consider only himself and his needs as "real." Therefore, even completely unconnected events have to work their way through his Chris-filter before they can be interpreted into a larger world-view--he has to know what it will mean for HIM before anything sinks in. This lack of empathy directly ties in with his autism. --[[User:ArmchairShrink|ArmchairShrink]] 18:44, 19 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
==The Dirty Snyder's Response==<br />
<br />
Is there any proof that this is a real response by Michael Snyder? It just looks more like a stupid troll trying to hurt Chris. I doubt Michael Snyder spends his spare time looking for CWC videos on youtube. [[User:Hazard|Hazard]] 02:06, 12 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
:It's him. Lucas and Mimms confirmed it.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 15:56, 12 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
:: Excellent. Let's make sure he see's it, preferably in the form of a banner on the CWCipedia. I can't wait for his reaction... --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 12:19, 12 May 2010 (EST)<br />
::Then by all means, notify whoever owns the adspace nowadays.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 16:45, 12 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
<br />
==maury==<br />
I know, not a forum, but I just realized he's watching maury in the background. One has to wonder if he draws any of his influence or social cues and social knowledge/understanding from maury.[[User:Seniorcitizenvirgin|Seniorcitizenvirgin]] 03:16, 12 May 2010 (UTC)-<br />
* He's only watching Maury in the background of the (Bad) troll response video, where it's the segment about the girl who is terrified of pickles. In the real video, if you've watched it, the TV is off. [[User:Hazard|Hazard]] 09:08, 12 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
*thanks. I had seen the vid, and when I was checking the pagde for da update on my phone it caught my eye but I didn't realize it was a different vid. [[User:Seniorcitizenvirgin|Seniorcitizenvirgin]] 15:18, 12 May 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
== Fan videos ==<br />
There are too many, i'll get rid of the last 2, unless there is a valid reason to keep those there.--[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 04:40, 5 July 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
No, you won't. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 09:04, 5 July 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
==Total noob question==<br />
Since no one else edited the name that was decided upon I decided to edit it myself. One problem: How do you edit the title at the top? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 01:00, 26 July 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
== How about "The conspiracy video"? ==<br />
<br />
--[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 04:02, 6 September 2010 (PDT)<br />
<br />
== Move ==<br />
<br />
It seems the page got renamed and this talk page wasn't moved for some reason. Could an admin or Jerkop move this talk page to "[[Talk:Greene County Conspiracy]]?"</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Talk:Relics_of_Fail&diff=153851
Talk:Relics of Fail
2011-12-05T12:43:39Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>==A Taxonomy of Fail==<br />
While I'm flattered that people have caught onto my taxonomy of referring to Chris's personal items as relics of fail with the suffix "Of Fail" (in the spirit of the Spear of Destiny), there's some confusion about what constitutes a relic. I'd like to chime in based on what I understand from [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_relic#Roman_Catholic_classification_and_prohibitions the Catholic opinion of Christian relics]. <br />
<br />
Things that Chris have touched are relics (the [[medallion]], his [[Gitar of Fail|gitar]], etc.) These are personal items that have significance to Chris and in some cases, even factor into the comics. Analogous real world relics would be the Spear of Destiny, the Shroud of Turin, the Holy Grail, etc. These are items that are significant to the lore of Jesus of Nazareth in a similar fashion to Chris's relics factor into the lore of Chris. Any sort of part of Chris's body that can be collected, like hair or toenails, would be considered a relic in the same way that Muslims revere locks of hair or footprints of the Prophet Muhammad so when we get more stuff about the locks of hair Chris sent to his TRUE and LOYAL Mexican fan, we can document more on that (in fact, we actually do have that! I need to find the pics though. I should be getting my locks of hair soon). <br />
<br />
So, what's not a relic? [[Creepy Stare of Fail|A stare]] is not a relic - you cannot obtain a stare. As long as Chris is alive, a finger is not a relic. While limbs of saints are considered holy relics (from what I understand, in Medieval times they had problems of pilgrims ripping off fingers and toes of saints), as long as Chris is alive you cannot obtain his oversized finger (unless you somehow convince Chris to chop off his finger, which he might seriously consider if [[china]] is involved). <br />
<br />
I'm iffy about the oversized straw being a relic, as it's more of a graphic exaggeration that [[trolls]] find amusing than an actual, single straw that Chris uses to drink (though there's been some postulation lately that due to Chris's comments about how he slobbers, he might have a special straw he uses which explains the huge ass straw in the comic). While [[The Wall of Originals]] and [[Megan Shrine]] are mega important to Chris, they're not quite a single relic but more of a place or collection of relics, so I've considered them as Shrines. <br />
<br />
tl;dr - if you can obtain it and it's of some significance to Chris, it's probably a relic. If not, then it's not a relic. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:19, 7 April 2009 (CEST)<br />
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:*I'm going to try to re-organize the relics into three categories: "major", "minor", and (I suppose I'll bring back) "lesser". Right now, there seem (to me) to be too many "major" relics, some of which are much more important than others. The less important "major" relics should be demoted to "minor" relics, and a few relics that are currently "minor" should in turn be demoted to "lesser". I don't foresee many complaints with the shuffle that I've got in mind, but I'm posting this here ahead of my actual page edit later today as a heads-up. [[User:Llort|Llort]] 13:45, 1 October 2009 (CEST)<br />
<br />
==Guideline for Relic classification==<br />
<br />
Let's take a religious approach to the current situation. Let's say that Chris is the "Messiah-of-Fail" and his comic is his gospel. <br />
If he's set to becoming a full-flegged religion (please refrain from barfing) after his death, how his relics would be rated? Here's my idea:<br />
<br />
*Major Relic: any object that has appeared at least once (1) in the "Gospel" and exist in real life. things like the [[Amnyfest Ring]], [[Attraction Sign]], [[Medallions of Fail]] and the [[Heart Torch of Fail]] fit right in. The [[Transformers|Megatron toy gun]] should be added here due to his appearance in [[Sonichu Special 4]].<br />
*Minor relic: anything Chris named in his videos but failed to appear as such in the comic. The [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon Poster of Fail]] and the [[Transformers|Optimus Prime toy]] fit right in. Anything Chris drawn and made should also fit right here.<br />
*Lesser Relic: Anything Chris use as a prop and was yet to be named by him. The [[Belt Buckle of Fail]], the [[Clown Doll]], the [[Sex toys|Plush Boobs of Fail]] and the [[PSEye]] should be here.<br />
<br />
Do I have something here? Any comments? [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 21:04, 15 November 2009 (CET)<br />
*But wouldn't that system make those stupid wing hair clips a major relic, since they've been both in real life and a plot point in the comic? Not that it's not complete and utter failure to act like he did about things meant for a (rather young) girl, but they were a minor thing which hardly qualify to be listed as major. --[[User:LizardPie|LizardPie]] 00:47, 16 November 2009 (CET)<br />
:*Good point. But the major point of the original taxonomy was that we were getting things like "The Oversized Finger of Fail", "The Creepy Stare of Fail", and things that aren't really relics. It's like saying that the look on the face of Jesus is a relic which isn't the same thing as the Holy Grail or the Shroud of Turin. <br />
::The point is, whatever the outcome of this discussion is, we need to agree that a relic is a physical object that a troll could in theory obtain and destroy. I think when I started the current classification, it was more or less based on the sentimental value that it would be to Chris. Chris would freak out if someone destroyed his high school ring. His Wii Remote, probably not. CWCki serves to not only to document Chris but also to aid trolls who wish to troll him and I think if people want to take the Blanca route of taking something precious to Chris and destroy it, we might as well give people an idea of what would make Chris crash into slumber. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:58, 16 November 2009 (CET)<br />
:::As a base, I have to agree that the term "Relic" must describe a physical object. If not, every single thing Chris made and/or do can fit as a relic. Maybe adding the "Will cause emotional stress if lost/destroyed (Read: Target)" is enough. I am not inclined to create a fourth super-relic class, it would make the page looks silly. My goal here, and I hope it is shared, is to create a simple relic classification system where the simple beginner can use. Three or four questions should suffice to dictate where the object belongs. In example: Do the object appear in the comic? Do the object got a name? Do the object got a sentimental value for Chris? Do Chris use the object to exalt his "Virtues"? On the same idea, I have a hard time understanding why the PSEye is a major relic. Chris dint name it, dint decorated it and doesn't even care about it. Why it's a major relic? it makes no sense! [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 08:22, 16 November 2009 (CET)<br />
::::*I agree with you there about a simple system that a newfag can use, as that's something we need to definitely aim for. As for the PSeye, probably because it's his means of communication to us, the Internet public, not to mention that it's cured his autism as he's practiced making eye contact with it and he magically overcame his autism (see the PSEye article on that. If it's not there, then we should mention it). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:26, 16 November 2009 (CET)<br />
* I'm pretty sure those boobs are rubber, not plush. A friend used to work in an adult bookstore/porno theater and they had these rubber boobs you could fuck in the same section of the counter they kept the male sex toys, which looked to be of poor quality. There were some rubber boobs with built-in vaginas and anuses on one side for extra terror, and some of these were supposed to be molds of some porn star's boobs. The idea is to hold onto the boobs while you fuck the area between them, or whatever orifices they've built in. It's a weird and creepy sex toy and it would be just like Chris to own it. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 11:42, 16 November 2009 (CET)<br />
:* Looked at the Spencer's page. Never mind, I agree. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 10:24, 22 November 2009 (CET)<br />
<br />
== Gun article needed ==<br />
<br />
--[[User:Sonijew|Sonijew]] 12:16, 16 November 2009 (CET)<br />
:*[[Megatron pistol|Here we go.]] [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 18:13, 16 November 2009 (CET)<br />
<br />
==Holy Grails (more like HOLY FAILS)==<br />
If people think it's out of line, I'll remove it, but I'm adding a section of fabled documents and relics of Chris that trolls should try to procure and that are of value to trolls. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:49, 22 November 2009 (CET)<br />
*Also, can someone find Chris mentioning the autism papers? I've sworn he mentioned them in a Liquid video." --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:57, 22 November 2009 (CET)<br />
:*It's in one of the to-be-released Kacey chats. Chris says his sleeping dad has the key to the locked filing cabinet that would have to be sorted through for hours and on top of that his scanner's broken. Very mysterious. Chris might have demanded that ''Liquid'' show his autism papers, as proof of his identity. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 10:43, 22 November 2009 (CET)<br />
<br />
==Legendary Relics of Fail==<br />
<br />
I suggest a new category: '''Legendary Relics of Fail'''. It's for those relics we have never actually seen, but they have been mentioned, etc., in the comics, and are implied to be real (at least, when the comic in question was made). This category could include: Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail, Anime Wings, DS of Fail (featured in Sonichu 1 Sub-Episode 2), etc. How about it?<br />
<br />
Also, somecummpentydifferent. Should we probably: a) add the Guideline for Relic Classification in the article (as it's useful info), b) delete the "Artwork of Fail" section, as it's been established that a Relic of Fail should be a physical object? [[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 11:14, 23 November 2009 (CET)<br />
<br />
==Proposed Addendum for Naming Relics==<br />
You know, I just thought of something that may be of use when decided to name articles - I think the suffix "of Fail" should be limited to something Chris has forged from his own hands. For instance, the Medallion of Fail is Fail because Chris made it himself. His PSEye would not because, while it captures his fail, is not necessarily fail because it's just a regular PSEye. <br />
<br />
Thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 12:09, 26 November 2009 (CET)<br />
*By the way, this isn't about classifying them. Something like the Megatron pistol can be a Relic of Fail but we wouldn't need to say it's the "Megatron pistol of Fail" for instance. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 12:12, 26 November 2009 (CET)<br />
:*I suggest the classification as a whole should be not about naming or quotes or smth, it should be about the role the relic plays in Chris's mythos. Yes, it means some relics can be upgraded/douwngraded over time. As for the "of Fail" suffix, it may be just used when it's needed to denote that this relic can't possibly be win, despite its original statue. E.g., "Megatron pistol" is enough fail (for a 27-year-old to use), so it doesn't need a suffix "of Fail". Medallions in general may be win or fail, so we need to add that this here Medallion is "of Fail". Just my two cents :) --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 13:55, 26 November 2009 (CET)<br />
<br />
==Fusion==<br />
<br />
Almost every single relic of fail article is a stub, and there's no real way to add content to those pages. I suggest that we merge all of these stubs with this article to remove some unavoidable stubs. Some of the longer articles can stay where they are, but I think it's better to have one long page over 10+ stubs. This would also help with categorisation (maybe) because the system we have seems pretty normative to me, and that pisses me off for some reason. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 11:15, 19 June 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
==Parappa Beanie of Fail?==<br />
<br />
I'm going to suggest adding that [[Parappa]] beanie that Chris is so fond of, since he's worn it a couple of times. I'd also like to note that it actually appeared in the comic, where it granted Sonichu the paper-thin aspect present in the games. [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 22:21, 14 July 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
I would agree with this, except I don't think he's worn it nearly enough to call it a Relic. --[[User:MEANWHILE|MEANWHILE]] 23:26, 14 July 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
I dunno, it seems to qualify enough under the requirements of the Taxonomy of Fail. It seems to hold value to Chris, because he caps-locked HIS when describing the hat, meaning Chris may consider it to be more than meets the eye. Also, the Pokewalkers got an article, and they're even more minor than the hat, imo [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 03:04, 15 July 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
Personally I think they're too minor to have pages (granted, I feel the same way about his Pokewalkers, and of course they already have pages), but even if we do go ahead with one, keep in mind that some member are proposing a project to rename the relics of fail so as to give them better suffixes than "of fail". Thus, I feel that it would be best to see what decision is made on that issue before a page is made. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 05:24, 15 July 2010 (UTC)<br />
<br />
== Removing the "of Fail" suffix? ==<br />
<br />
You know, I've been thinking, a while ago I remember someone complaining somewhere that the "of Fail" is kinda juvenile and that we really shouldn't be referring to this stuff as the "[x] of Fail." After some thought, I think they might be right, but I'd like some discussion before I do anything hasty.<br />
<br />
I would argue that the "of Fail" has entered the troll lexicon but if you think about it, it really hasn't. I mean, if someone mentions the medallions, they're just "the medallions" not "the medallions of fail." By that virtue, can't we imply that because they are Chris related they are fail in themselves? I'm starting to suspect that "of Fail" may be redundant. <br />
<br />
However, like I said, I'd like some second opinions on this. If you people agree though, pretty much the "of Fail" would be removed from appropriate articles. Thoughts?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:08, 6 August 2011 (PDT)<br />
<br />
== Patti ==<br />
Can we add Patti's corspe to this article, given the whole ''lol let's hire a black tranny hooker to dig up Patti'' meme from /cwc/? [[User:Hasharin|Hasharin]] 15:36, 21 August 2011 (PDT)<br />
* I don't think we should. To /cwc/, it may have been a meme, but to the rest, it was like Milhouse. Besides, it's a goddamn dead dog. Why should we do something that ''sick''?!--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 15:43, 21 August 2011 (PDT)<br />
<br />
<br />
== Red String of Fate? ==<br />
Is it OK if i add the Red String of Fate to the Relics of Fail?-Zombiepatti<br />
:We don't necessarily consider the Red String a Relic of Fail - also, please sign your posts with four tlides "<nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>". [[User:Pfargtl9000|Eratosthenes]] 04:43, 5 December 2011 (PST)</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Homos&diff=153845
Homos
2011-12-05T06:46:09Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
[[File:CWCFlex.jpg|thumb|Sure, Chris, straight men often draw themselves like this.]]<br />
{{Quote|I Am Straight; Vaginas and Boobies Give Me MY ERECTIONS; You Damn Homos have NO CHANCE with me EVER.|Chris, lying.<ref>[[Mailbag 31]]</ref>}}<br />
{{Quote|I put a condom on the dildo and actually did put it up my, uh, A-hole. Uh...and uh, in my humble opinion, it just did not feel right to me. And uh, the anal beads, I just put 'em in there and they were, it's like... in. Not so stiff. So it was just that one time, then they got covered in poo, and I just, I put them in the trash can.|Chris<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/BlueSpike_PSN_Chat_3</ref>}}<br />
<br />
'''Homos''' is the pejorative term by which [[Christian Weston Chandler]] refers to '''homosexual people''' almost exclusively.<br />
<br />
From the very beginning of his [[Internet]] fame in [[2007]], his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|"STAY STRAIGHT"]] have been one of his most noted and exploited aspects.<br />
<br />
==Fear of being a homo==<br />
[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|left|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie.]]<br />
[[Image:CWC new novel.png|thumb|A glimpse into the future?]]<br />
[[Image:What Chris thinks he looks like.png|thumb|Chris shows his [[Rainbow|true colors]].]]<br />
<br />
{{quote|"Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a [[Tomgirl|gender change operation]]."|Chris <ref>E-mail to Megan, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm</ref>}}<br />
<br />
Chris's homophobia is just that: he is literally afraid of homosexuality and of anything that could conceivably cause a straight person to be "leered off the straight path." His terror is such that he can barely bring himself to even utter the word "gay" or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for "homo". He has said that he cannot even look at a picture of a [[pickle|penis]] without being "freaked out"<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> and he has cited [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|several techniques]] he believes are necessary to maintain his sexual attraction to women.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 3#Sexy posters|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 4#Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid|Mailbag #4]]</ref> <br />
<br />
Chris is also convinced that chances of homosexuality are raised as a direct result of not engaging in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Dating_Education</ref> his [[Dating Education]] classes naturally being the reasonable solution to preventing people from becoming homos. He continues to attempt to wildly assert his straightness (and fail at it), using anything from the [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail]] to objects as strange and totemic as his [[Optimus Prime]] toy.<br />
<br />
==Hatred of homos==<br />
Chris's animosity towards gay people seems to result primarily from his fear of them and their supposed ability/desire to make him gay. He has often characterized the [[trolls]] as homos, which is either a basic ''ad hominem'' attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on [[Rosechu]] must be gay.<br />
<br />
Notably, in [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC chat]] from 2 [[January 2009]], Chris made this statement:<br />
<br />
{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "[[Wikipedia:Deck the Halls|Deck the Halls]]"|Chris, 2 January 2009, 11:59}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:Bionic2.jpg|thumb|Chris projects his repressed homosexuality onto [[Bionic|one of his own abominations]].]]<br />
<br />
He added that gay men should be incarcerated in prisons with female offenders and be provided with access to prostitutes, arguing that they would come out "reprogrammed" into healthy, law-abiding heterosexuals.<br />
<br />
On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|February 18, 2009]], Chris issued a retraction of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects "the gay people" like he respects his [[gal pals]] and his [[sweethearts]]. However, this was mostly done at the insistence of [[Julie]]; by [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|10 March 2009]] Chris was reciting verses from the Bible to justify his position against homos.<br />
<br />
<br />
[[Image:Sonichuspore1.png|thumb|"ALL Sonichus are [[Homos|STRAIGHT]]!"]] <br />
<br />
<br />
In Chris's ''Carrie'' rip-off, "[[The High School Story]]", Chris's Mary Sue character, Terrah LeAnne Yowman, is called a lesbian by kids at her high school, because she hangs around with guys all the time.<br />
<br />
{{quote|She felt angry when she heard "Lesbian"; when called that, she would leave the bully an intimidating [[The Creepy Stare|glare]] with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a [[Christian Weston Chandler|Strong, Straight Homophobe]] would attack that bully with [[Chris and religion|No Mercy]]; beat the crap out of that person.|"[[The High School Story]]"}}<br />
<br />
On 14 [[June 2009]], he created a video called ''[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]'', which in the Chris-chan tradition of ruining everything you ever loved is a homophobic version of [[Wikipedia:Uncle Ruckus|Uncle Ruckus]]'s song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from [[Wikipedia:The Garden Party|the pilot episode]] of ''[[Wikipedia:The Boondocks|The Boondocks]]''.<br />
<br />
Later on in the day, he published an apology for the video called ''[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]'', and insisted that he likes gays who "ac— ...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." This quote, of course, displays Chris's ignorance, as Stephen Fry is also a famous actor, comedian, writer, narrator (on things other than ''LBP''), and author of some extremely witty and charming blogs that have a large Internet following, as well as being an advocate for gay rights. This apology was only posted for the sake of his [[gal pal]] Kim's boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.<br />
<br />
Curiously, Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of Sonichu and Rosechu are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]], whom he characterizes as "a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian."<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu">[[Cwcipedia]]: "Sonichu"</ref> He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself.<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu"/> It is unknown why Chris mentions this, given that he has vacillated wildly in the past in his feelings on lesbianism, sometimes [[Mumble 1|coming out in support]] and other times [[CWC "Boyfriend"|condemning it]], or why the character is both Hispanic and a lesbian.<br />
<br />
Chris occasionally tries to say he respects homosexuals for who they are. However, he repeatedly betrays his intolerance of different lifestyles, often within the same statement.<br />
<br />
{{quote|"I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW. Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head."|Chris <ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality</ref>}}<br />
<br />
Because it's OK for him to wave around his degenerate sexuality and showcase real life pictures of his disgusting activities, but God forbid a well-adjusted male adult mention they love other men.<br />
<br />
On 8 July 2009, Chris left a comment on a PSN News Post in reference to a Unity avatar.<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2009/07/08/attention-fighting-fans-prove-youre-the-best-around/#comment-241496</ref><br />
<br />
{{quotebox|Hey, the Street Fighter Tourney is good news, but I have a concern about the person who left the message.<br />
<br />
His Avitar…<br />
<br />
If that icon is WHAT I THINK IT IS, I AM OFFENDED; please change your Avitar, dude.}}<br />
<br />
On [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 26, 2009|July 26, 2009]], Chris goes so far as to call "gay" a synonym for "stupid."<br />
<br />
In the [[Mailbag]] section of the [[CWCipedia]], Chris describes at length his idea for his comic self to travel to the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the "homo gene" (an idea stolen from [[Wikipedia:Family Gay|this episode of]] ''[[Family Guy]]''). They have not, however, isolated the "straight gene", and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that [[Honor roll|homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals]], or by imprisoning gays in [[Rape|co-ed prisons]]). This storyline finally came to light in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris amended this plan to not only bring back a couple of syringes, but also enough of the "cure" to turn every gay person on Earth straight. <br />
<br />
[[Jack Thaddeus]] purchased advertisement space on the [[CWCipedia]] to put up two ads on the site. One of them was an ad featuring Peter Griffin of ''[[Family Guy]]'', pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights. In retaliation, Chris blew his stack, [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|stating]]:<br />
<br />
{{quote|I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with [[Vivian]]'s [[Audiobooks]], BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and '''I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.'''<br />
<br />
Please Remove, or Change the Images of, THE TWO ADS.<br />
<br />
And in the future, if you plan on adding more advertisements, INCLUDING the associated images, Please run them by me in a message for my personal Approval BEFORE you start running the ads.<br />
<br />
Thank you.|Chris<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links</ref>}}<br />
<br />
In a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris stated that he assumed that a friend of Jack's was gay when he heard that he had AIDS.<br />
<br />
On Christmas Day, [[2009]], the Sysop at the CWCipedia added a Twitter onto the webpage. Two days later, Chris saw this and flew into a tizzy, wanting the Twitter off as he didn't want any "homo trolls" talking behind his back.<br />
<br />
Around New Year [[2010]], Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for [[wikipedia:Love In Action|Love In Action]] (an "ex-gay" ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting [[wikipedia:California Proposition 8 (2008)|Proposition 8]]), and a site that calls for a boycott on Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. In another ad, he also suggested that [[wikipedia:Avatar (2009 film)|''Avatar'']] was a ''totally'' straight film. To sum it up: Ex-gay campaigns, Proposition 8 and ridiculous consumer boycotts - in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that do ''not'' win himself any gay friends whatsoever and prove all of his previous "respect" for gays is nothing but idle words.<br />
<br />
On 5 [[January 2010]], Chris responded to a [[Mailbag]] letter addressing the homosexual subject. In the answer, Chris stated that [[Magi-Chan]] keeps a constant psychic-surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville. When evidence of homosexuality was found in a couple, the people involved would be arrested and fined heavily.<br />
<br />
Then, on 7 January, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight...<br />
<br />
{{quote|I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian." That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!|[[Common Questions#Answered 07 January 2010|Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight.]]}}<br />
<br />
Not only is this ironic, considering his current views on lesbianism, but it adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos is influenced by him being childish and whiny about not getting his way, just because ''one'' woman turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.<br />
<br />
On 12 January, Chris appeared to soften his stance, saying that "Firstly, I am decreeing that homosexuals will have equal relationship rights within [[Cwcville]], yet gay marriage is still Illegal and Wrong. And [[Magi-Chan]] will stay out of those people's heads under my request."<ref>[[CWC Blog#12 January 2010]]</ref> Of course, it's not clear how gays can have "equal relationship rights" if they can't marry, but Chris tends to be pretty weak on logic.<br />
<br />
On 30 [[January 2010]], Chris voiced his opinion about the ban on homosexuals serving openly in the American military. He is for the lifting of the ban so that "[[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|the homos can go die in explosions]]."<br />
<br />
On 15 [[August 2010]], [[Bob]] showed the same kind of hatred and prejudice as his son does for "DA HOMOS". In the [[Matthew Noble call]], Bob said that he believed that a few homosexual kids were working alongside [[Michael Snyder|Mike]] and [[Megan]] to get Chris banned from The GAMe PLACe.<br />
<br />
==Why Chris appears to be gay==<br />
<br />
[[Image:564Homos.jpg|thumb|left|At least Chris doesn't [[fail]] at cataloging pictures. [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality No, it's not a shoop].]]<br />
<br />
[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|Oh lawd, is dat some lipstick on Chris?]]<br />
<br />
{{quote|First off, should such images [of men's asses] enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever.|[[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] - Chris admitting he's had homoerotic fantasies.}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|Fun Fact: [[Rainbow]] colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement.]]<br />
[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|For someone who claims to be straight, Chris sure does love talking about BALLS. Also, balls are touching.]]<br />
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|That's one [[pickle|phallic]] [[Lego]] tower you're building there, Chris.]]<br />
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]<br />
<br />
Ironically, the harder Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|tries to convince people]] he's straight, the gayer he appears. He has absolutely no awareness that an uptight, milquetoast, colorfully-dressed, squeaky-voiced man saying "I am straight! I have a subscription to ''Playboy''!"<ref>[[CWC Update 18 January 2009]]</ref> every five minutes looks like he has something he's trying to hide. Furthermore, the more we learn about Chris, the more gay he really appears to be.<br />
<br />
* Christian has stated that if he were unable to stay straight he would undergo sex reassignment surgery; he would rather be female than gay. It should be noted that straight men never, ever, put this much thought into this hypothetical dilemma.<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref><br />
* He collects [[My Little Pony]] figures well into early adulthood.<br />
* For a straight man, he sure does [[Semen#Transcript|consume a lot of semen]]. Likewise, the idea of [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his own ejaculate]] off one of his gal-pals sexually arouses him.<br />
* Like many gay men, most of his [[gal-pal|"friends"]] were female and he never slept with any of them.<br />
* In a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN Chat with Julie]], Chris admitted that he randomly has images of penises (his own and others he's seen in porn) pop into his head. He also claims to hear voices in his head that say "Christian is gay." Unless Chris is having ''very specific'' auditory hallucinations, it's likely he has homoerotic daydreams and freaks out about it. In the same chat he sounded ''delighted'' describing the first time he saw semen in a porno movie as a teenager.<br />
* He owns, or at least has owned, anal beads and a vibrator, and he is on record as having experimented with putting both toys in his anus. In a chat during the [[Vanessa Saga]] on 16 [[April 2009]], he claimed that he no longer shoved things up his ass, except for "a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose."<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3|Vanessa IRC Chat III]]</ref> Although it is quite possible to stick things up your butt and still be straight, people who are terrified of being turned gay generally do not do this.<br />
* Chris said that he would put something up his ass for [[Ivy]] "in a heartbeat," including a large fake dick, and would let her fuck him with a strap-on.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 7|Vanessa IRC Chat VII]]</ref> <br />
* Chris said that he might let a gay guy fuck him if Ivy wanted that.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 9|Vanessa IRC Chat IX]]</ref><br />
* During their correspondence, [[Jackie]] told Chris she was curious about anal sex.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 5]]</ref> Instead of taking it to mean she wished to be penetrated from behind (as most men would have understood it), Chris thought she wanted to use a strap-on/anal bead on him and said he would comply. In her next email, Jackie clarified her intentions but said she was open to the prospect of being the penetrative partner,<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref> leading a jubilant Chris to discuss his past anal experiences in detail.<br />
* Christian argues that the vibrator and anal beads were sent to him as a gift with an order of straight pornography; he did not ask for them or pay for them. However, according to [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|the receipts]] that were uncovered by trolls, Chris specifically asked for the anal beads as the gift.<br />
* Chris kept the vibrator around for months.<br />
* In the [[Chris Sex Logs]], Chris shows off a dildo to [[PandaHalo]]. He immediately suggests the phallic sex toy is something that [[Sex_Logs#This_is_my_dildo|goes up your butt]], and then immediately denies it's been up his butt. He also says having a dildo in your butt "will feel good."<br />
* On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009|5 February 2009]] Chris posted two videos stating that he was coming out of the closet as a gay man. He later issued a retraction which was far less persuasive.<br />
* When negotiating for the safe return of his PSN account from [[Max]], Chris was given the choice of burning his [[medallion]] or shoving it up his ass. Chris immediately chose to shove it up his ass.<br />
* Chris thought a straight woman would be turned on by a [[nudes|close-up picture of his anus]].<br />
* He wears a pink [[Belt Buckle of Fail|belt buckle]].<br />
* He owns a set of [[anime wings]] which are basically hair clips. And hair clips are for women.<br />
* His best man at [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|his wedding]] is [[Sarah Hammer]] in drag.<br />
* He sang "I Love the Nightlife" on his [[Chris's Big Night Out|visit to a local bar/restaurant]], which is popular at gay clubs and drag revues.<br />
* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|''Christian and the Hedgehog Boys'']] features two covers of the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]], one cover of a [[Britney Spears]] song, and one cover of a [[Wikipedia:Ricky Martin|Ricky Martin]] song. This music was popular among thirteen-year-old girls when it was new and is popular among the gay community today.<br />
* [[muscle bra|He wears a bra.]] In fairness, he uses it to [[Fridays After Five|try to attract women]].<br />
* He [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|implores men to wear bras]] because looking at shirtless men makes Chris uncomfortable,<ref>[[Mailbag 55#On brassieres|Mailbag 55]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian_fun.21|Mailbag #55]]</ref> possibly arousing latent homosexual urges.<br />
* When you look up "Homosexuality" in Chris's [[CWCipedia|own web encyclopedia]], you ''literally'' see his own portrait (as shown on the screencap at the top of this section).<br />
* In the [[PS3 History Level]] video, he showed that he actually owns a copy of [[Wikipedia:Sex and the City (film)|''Sex and the City'']] (the film) when he showcased his then current collection of [[PS3]] games and movies.<br />
* In his response to a letter in [[Mailbag 4]] about "impure" homoerotic thoughts, Chris confesses that he "[has] had this problem too," and has to resort to deleting them through a curious process that involves dropping the thoughts into his stomach acid, lest the gay gene take its toll.<br />
* Chris reacts to [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s ''[[Asperchu]]'' comics by giving the all the characters a free makeover.<br />
* In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris donates some of his "straight blood" to doctors in the future so that they could make a vaccine against homosexuality. Vaccines are made from people who have the virus being fought.<br />
* One of Chris's ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' vehicles is called "A Man's Toy", which is a light blue carriage with [[rainbow]] lollipop wheels and a message that says "Tea parties are good and nice" on the rear end of the carriage.<ref>http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu/creations/1296110</ref><br />
* In the guise of his trollsona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris used [[Trollin' Train]] to go into far more detail than was necessary about a supposed homosexual encounter, describing various acts with a relish out of place for someone who claims to be disgusted by the mere thought of a penis.<br />
* He made a drawing of [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] [http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Punchylaylalove.jpg wearing panties and bra].<br />
* He also made a [[:File:SchuSoneeRosey.jpg|drawing]] of a [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonee and a Rosee]] in which the hairless spot on the Rosee's abdomen looks like an erect penis. <br />
* The [[Scrapbook of Fail]] contains a [[:File:115-CWCEmbarassed.jpg|self portrait of Chris]] as the ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' character [http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Magician_Girl Dark Magician Girl].<br />
* He [[Tomgirl|voluntarily dressed up as a woman]], went out in public and used [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|the woman's washroom]]. While not all cross-dressers are homosexuals, men who are afraid of being seen as a homosexual generally do not take a disturbing amount of pride in cross-dressing in public.<br />
<br />
==Defenses against becoming homo==<br />
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by taping index cards indicating their straightness to their shoes (while stomping on [[vibrator]]s). Srsly.]]<br />
It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Luckily, Chris has a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] which he stares at everyday to stave off temptations of homosexuality. <br />
<br />
Chris also subscribes to ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' to help keep himself straight. You can tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five seconds for him to get around to boobies and [[China|vaginas]].<br />
<br />
When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) [[trolls|fans]] sent Chris questions on the [[CWCipedia]] asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tends to offer what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas include thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs with an extremely severe and disproportionate punishment.<ref name="ReferenceA"/> He also clarifies that one need not buy their own poster of fail; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick.<br />
<br />
To prevent future homos, he also encourages women to not drink, smoke, or be physically abused while pregnant because he believes this could cause the baby to be born homosexual.<ref>[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag #5]]</ref><br />
<br />
In ''[[Kill De Jack]]'', Chris reveals another one of his defenses against becoming a homo: he covers a section of his "[[CWC-ism|computer]]" (we can assume that he means "computer screen") with a piece of paper so that he can browse [[CWCipedia]] without looking at [[Jack Thaddeus]]'s ads featuring pictures of homosexual men.<br />
<br />
It seems that the centerfold poster of [[The_Simpsons#Marge_Poster|Marge's ''Playboy'' magazine]] has become one of Chris's many defenses against becoming a homo. The fact that she's married has [[kacey|no bearing on Chris's desires]].<br />
<br />
{{quote|But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.|-Matthew 28, [[Chris and religion|something Chris has probably never read, nor wouldn't care to read.]]}}<br />
<br />
==Chris on his alleged homosexuality==<br />
<br />
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]]]<br />
<br />
* "I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! I WILL NOT BE VEERED INTO ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!!"<ref>[[Masturbating and squirtin']]</ref><br />
* "I'M STRAIGHT! I'M STRAIGHT! '''YOU'RE THE HOMOS!''' EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref><br />
* "I'm straight, don't doubt me!"<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref><br />
* "Listen, as hard as you fucking can, I CAME OUT OF MY AUTISTIC [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|CLOSET]] AS A STRAIGHT MAN, and NOTHING ELSE. SO YOU IMMATURE JERKS CAN JUST FUCK OFF."<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref><br />
* "Yep, you heard me. I am...a [[gaybian|gaaaaaaaaay...bian]]."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the First Video]]</ref><br />
* "Anyway the, uh- anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it...OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all- how y'all understand it."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the Second Video]]</ref><br />
* "And look at me. Do I look like- [*shakes head in disagreement*] '''No more of those stupid acquisition messages!''' Get it through your fucking, individual, damn, dirty SKULLS! '''I. Am. STRAIGHT!'''"<ref>''[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]''</ref><br />
<br />
Curiously, in his own [[A Public Announcement for Congress|campaign ad]], Chris announced a promise of "gay marriage ability for every state within the United Nations." Suffice to say, this has not helped him in the polls.<br />
<br />
==Fan videos==<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = CWC (Ian Brandon Anderson) Comes Clean...<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Bx6MF90NcTo}}<br />
| Stardate = 5 January 2010<br />
| Maker = Psycatalyst <br />
| Subject = <br />
| Video Type = <br />
| Other Info = <br />
}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
{{CWCipedia|chris=Homosexuality}}<br />
<br />
* [[Chris and sex]]<br />
* [[Chris and religion]]<br />
* [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]<br />
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]<br />
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]<br />
* [[Gaybian]] (a "male lesbian", according to Chris)<br />
* [[It's UGH!]]<br />
* [[Rainbow]]<br />
* [[Reldnahc Naitsirhc]]<br />
* [[Magi-Chan]]<br />
* [[Heather Iglesias]]<br />
* [[Tomgirl]]<br />
* [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyO3pnkI3H4 CWC (Ian Brandon Anderson) finally admits it.]<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE9hdbiwA3k Chris-chan is sick of the lies!]<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOpGtblij8Y Chris-chan proves those slanderous trolls wrong.]<br />
<br />
{{CWC-isms}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Homos]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=List_of_Chris%27s_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica&diff=153844
List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica
2011-12-05T06:45:32Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
Within days of the creation of the [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris-chan]] article on '''[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]''', [[Christian Weston Chandler]] was aware of its existence due to his frequent ego-searches for himself and [[Sonichu]]. Chris obviously paid close attention to the page from the beginning, but he managed to resist the temptation to make his own changes to the article for nearly a week before plunging in with dozens of attempts to make himself look good on the page or convince [[ED]] to leave him alone.<br />
<br />
Ironically, virtually every embarrassing detail we now know about Chris, outside of his [[YouTube]] videos and his Sonichu website, was first presented to ED ''by himself'', in these edits.<br />
<br />
Chris's rationale was "TMI-Input-To-Overload-Their-Minds-And-STOP,"<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#The_E.D._Webpage]]</ref> believing that if he told [[troll]]s details about how pathetic his life is, they would feel sorry for him or be too freaked out to do anything. Of course, being the [[Internet]], it only made the trolls want to troll him even more, and is analogous to a child telling his bullies not to beat him up because he still wets the bed - it has a totally negative effect.<br />
<br />
{{TOC limit|limit=2}}<br />
<br />
==Known ED sockpuppets==<br />
<br />
Chris used numerous sockpuppet accounts to avoid drawing undue attention upon himself. This didn't work because each of these socks were easily identified as Chris, since they were the only users on the entire site who cared enough about him to defend him. Also, most of these socks identified themselves in their edits as being Christian Weston Chandler, so that was a big clue.<br />
<br />
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Reldnahc Reldnahc]</s> (active 10 Nov 2007 - 10 Jan 2008; 14 Aug 2008 - 12 Sep 2008)<br />
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Chris-chan Chris-chan]</s> (active 30 Dec 2007)<br />
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Denilah Denilah]</s> (active 19 Jan 2008)<br />
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Clyde Clyde]</s> (active 21 Jan 2008)<br />
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Glith Glith]</s> (active 25 Jan 2008)<br />
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Waltbunn Waltbunn]</s> (active 26 Jan 2008)<br />
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Waltermelon Waltermelon]</s> (active 12 Mar 2008)<br />
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Christian-Weston-Chandler Christian-Weston-Chandler]</s> (active 15 Mar 2008 - 21 Mar 2008)<br />
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/SAVE_CHRIS_CHAN SAVE CHRIS CHAN]</s> (active 7 Aug 2008)<br />
* <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Jamplerf Jamplerf]</s> (active 14 Aug 2008)<br />
==Edit details==<br />
===10 November===<br />
<br />
'''From 1:10-2:28am EST (06:10-07:28 GMT), Chris makes the following edits:<br />
'''<br />
* See edits <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997315096&oldid=1997314465 here]</s><br />
* First attempt to sanitize the article, removing words he doesn't like ("retarded," "scary") and changing others ("racist" to "Old-Fashioned").<br />
* Removes a thumbnail of Goatse from his article. This was his very first edit, so it looks like he was trying to resist getting involved but Goatse crossed the line.<br />
* Changes "[[Masturbating and squirtin'|MASTURBATIN' AND SQUIRTIN']]" rainbow pyramid to read "DIVINE RETRIBUTION", then to "[[Mass debating|MASTURBATE]]" with the added note "Every Person is Doing it!!" Later adds: "Aahhhhhhhh...Relief... :)"<br />
* Changes comment about the medallion being bloody awful and made of clay to being good and made of "crayola model magic." (This is how we first learned what the hell the medal is made of.)<br />
* Changes references to the [[the Tale of the Crazy Pacer|Tale of the Crazy Pacer]] to place the incident in 2004 (at age 22) instead of 2006 (at age 24). ED was going by the date Anna posted the blog entry; Chris seems to be referring to when the incident actually happened.<br />
* Edits a section on him being racist to read:<br />
{{quote|Oh yeah, he's also Old Fashioned. In his idea of a Sweetheart, she is not Black. He is cool with adoption, but his dream of his future daughter calls for [[Chris_and_sex#Rape|blood, tears and semenal descent.]]}}<br />
* Changes a paragraph asking why he wears the medallion to effectively answer the question:<br />
{{quote|Why does he insists on wearing? It identifies him for the high-funcioning Autistic individual that he is. It's speculated it may give him some [[Anchuent Prophecy|secret]] [[Chris-chan Sonichu|power]]. Like Psychic Powers and Quick-Play Speed.}}<br />
* Changes a sentence mocking the way he says [[tobacky]] to explain why he said it:<br />
{{quote|He also talks about how he wants to take every ounce of "tobacky"(said that way, because he felt uncomfortable saying the actual fucking word) and shoot it to the moon.}}<br />
* Changes this paragraph:<br />
{{quote|He also calls being gay a vice, and cites Dr. Kinsey. I don't know what Dr. Kinsey he's talking about, but the only famous Dr. Kinsey I know contradicts everything he just said. But yet again, a 25 year old virgin knows all about love.}}<br />
: To the following:<br />
{{quote|He also calls being gay VICE, and cites Dr. Kinsey. The only famous Dr. Kinsey I know agreed with everything he just said (Rent the Kinsey movie "R" rated or Unrated from your local movie store). But yet again, a 25 year old virgin knows all about love, especially after fucking a plastic woman full of his hot air now and then.}}<br />
* Corrects description of his portrayal of Mary Lee Walsh to: "Grey-Haired Witch with a shoddy Devil-Style Viking Helmit" (It remains a common misconception that MLW's golden, horned helmet is blonde hair with protruding devil horns.)<br />
* Informs us that "Resources found that Mary has obtained a copy of the "CWC On TV" DVD from her pawn, Susan Hannifan."<br />
* Adds a link to veoh.com: "The Ignored Veoh.com, with all the free porn to download at 5kbits a second"<br />
* Changes the caption of fan art depicting him with the sign to say "The Only Reasonable and Inexpensive Idea he could ever fucking think of"<br />
<br />
At 7:28 p.m. EST (00:28 GMT, 11 Nov), Chris makes this edit:<br />
<br />
* More general sanitizing, changing the captions of the images to be more pro-CWC. This edit would be reverted just 90 minutes later, but the earlier edits would get left in the article for some time.<br />
<br />
===11 November===<br />
<br />
'''Between 11:40 p.m. EST, 10 Nov and 12:42 a.m. EST 11 Nov (04:41-05:12 GMT 11 Nov), Chris makes the following edits:<br />
'''<br />
* See edits <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821 here]</s><br />
<br />
* As Chris's edits get larger, he uses some sort of sub-par text editor that adds unnecessary line breaks, screwing up ED's line-by-line comparison, which makes it harder to tell what he's added.<br />
<br />
[[Image:MaryWantsIt.JPG|thumb|right|"Come and lick my pussy, my [[Jerkop]] slave."]]<br />
* Uploads the following pictures:<br />
:*[[:File:HedgehogsinFLuv.JPG|Hedgehogs in FLuv.JPG]] - the Sonichu/Rosechu sex picture later used in Sonichu 8.<br />
:*[[:File:MaryWantsIt.JPG|Mary Wants It.JPG]] - Mary Lee nude, beckoning her Jerkop slave to pleasure her.<br />
:*[[:File:BubblesandBlackSonichu.JPG|Bubbles and Black Sonichu.JPG]] - Bubbles riding cowgirl on Black Sonichu at the beach.<br />
:*[[:File:AngelicainGod'sEyes.JPG|Angelica in God's Eyes.JPG]] - Angelica masturbating in her bedroom.<br />
:* [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] - Christian fingering Megan.<br />
:*[[:File:202-SchuRchuKissPSPWall.jpg|SchuRchuKissPSPWall.jpg]] - The kiss scene from Sonichu 0.<br />
:* HedgehogsinFLuv.JPG - duplicate Sonichu/Rosechu picture.<br />
:* BubblesandBlackSonichu.JPG - Duplicate Bubbles/Blachu picture.<br />
:* AngelicainGod'sEyes.JPG - Duplicate Angelica picture.<br />
:* She came for CWC2.JPG - Duplicate Chris/Megan picture.<br />
<br />
* Adds some of these images to the gallery, with captions:<br />
<br />
:* SchuRchuKissPSPWall.jpg "Sonichu and Rosechu's First Kiss"<br />
:* HedgehogsinFLuv.JPG "Sonichu and Rosechu's First Fuck-a-Thon"<br />
:* BubblesandBlackSonichu.JPG "Bubbles...and Black Sonichu?!!!"<br />
:* AngelicainGod'sEyes.JPG "FUCK!! Did she have to do that in the house of God?!!"<br />
:* ShecameforCWC.JPG "Your sister has cum for me"<br />
:* MaryWantsIt.JPG [no caption]<br />
<br />
* Chris trying to play off the girl he's fingering in the picture as "''your'' sister" almost certainly fueled the assumption that she was actually ''Christian's'' (imaginary) sister Crystal.<br />
<br />
* Puts the rainbow pyramid back and has it read "WOMEN MASTURBATING" with the note "Why not? Everybody's Doing it. Hmm...Awesomely Relieving and Visually Appealing."<br />
<br />
* He adds several lengthy, revealing sections about himself:<br />
<br />
:* He implies that he masturbates to [[Excel Saga]].<br />
:* [[Random-access_humor#Random Ramblings|Random Ramblings]], apparently meant to show [[lie|he's funny]].<br />
:* Lyrics for [[So Need a Cute Girl]]<br />
:* His shitty [[Christian's sex joke|sex joke]]<br />
:* And his addiction to soda:<br />
<br />
<blockquote><br />
<nowiki>===THE SODA JERK===</nowiki><br/><br />
<br />
YES, I drink A LOT of Soda from Coca-Cola to Pepsi to Powerade. I have a lot of stored caffeene in my energy supply, and not only kept me on my toes, but has also messed up my fucking [[biological clock]] as well. I sleep from fucking six AM to twelve-fucking-thirty. BIG REASON I need a Sweetheart, so she can help me back on track towards getting back to the morning hours that I used to have during my High School years. Fucking [[Adult Swim]](tm) and random projects keep me up all night as well.</blockquote><br />
'''At 1:55 p.m. EST (18:58 GMT), Chris made the following edits:'''<br />
* Some of his previous updates have been undone, so he's back to put them in again. Amazingly, somebody from [[ED]] actually ''took out'' the Rule 34 pictures. ([[Reldnahc]]'s identity as Christian appears to be unrealized at this point; perhaps nobody thought CWC would actually show his face on the site.) More amazingly, Chris ''put them back in'', so he made the same dumb mistake ''twice''.<br />
<br />
===12 November===<br />
<br />
'''Between 10:05 p.m. EST, 11 Nov and 12:20 a.m. EST, 12 Nov (03:06-05:19 GMT 12 Nov), Chris makes the following edits:<br />
'''<br />
* Removes thumbnails of fan art of himself having sex with Sonichu, of Rosechu as a she-male having sex with Sonichu, and of himself with his penis hanging out of his pants.<br />
* Puts his "Random Ramblings" from November 11 back on the article, with added random access humor.<br />
* Adds several new sections:<br />
:* [[Saddest heart in the world (poem)|CWC's ''Saddest Heart in the World'' Poem]], apparently intended to draw sympathy. (Spoiler: It didn't work.)<br />
:* Excerpts from his [[CWC's Diary|diary]], perhaps to show he can laugh with us at us.<br />
:* An update on Megan:<br />
<blockquote><br />
<nowiki>===What happened to Sailor Megtune?===</nowiki><br/><br />
"Yes, while I did have a crush on Megan for like a couple of years since I started playing Yu-Gi-Oh, she was rejectful of romance. In August, [[2007]] after the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] contest, she sent me an e-mail that fucked the shit out of my [[heart level|heart.]] <br />
<br />
It hurt so fucking much, it took me weeks to recover. But I eventually did, and I am, and have been since about mid-September, in a well-sound state of mind. So I had to go back to my fucking lonesome and damn enduring Sweetheart Search.<br />
<nowiki>*</nowiki>[[sigh]]* The things I would do for TRUE LOVE and my future daughter.<br />
</blockquote><br />
<br />
:* Information about his work in Guitar Hero:<br />
<br />
<blockquote><br />
<nowiki>===Christian Weston Chandler...Guiter Hero of Cwcville===</nowiki><br/><br />
<br />
<br />
"I rocked it hard February 3, 2007 at the Gamestop by Forest Lakes. It was close, but thanks to my HARDCORE months of <br />
<br />
practice, I CONQURED!!! ''[[Wikipedia: Free Bird|Freebird]]'' on Expert was awfully tough, but I scored highest above my opponent in the Final Round <br />
<br />
with that song. I won a cool T-Shirt."<br />
<br />
"I also watched the new [[Guitar Hero]] episode of ''[[South Park]]'' November 7, [[2007]]; it was awesomely hilarious. Apparently the creators had a big thing for ''[[Wikipedia:Carry On Wayward Son|Carry On Wayward Son]]''; I don't blame them, except for waiting through the intro lyrics, it is a fuckin' awesome song. Although Boston's ''More Than A Feeling'' is the World's Greatest Song, hands down. Thank you, Aqua Teens for agreeing on that."<br />
</blockquote><br />
:* Pictures and thoughts on his [[Officer Nasty]] doll. (The pictures somehow don't make it onto ED; that's okay because he's tricked into providing them again later.)<br />
<blockquote><br />
<nowiki>===Cheese it, the cops!!===<br />
[[Image:1000650.JPG|thumb|Nah, it's just my artificial woman in her plastic blue outfit. Awesome to fuck, and the cleaning maintance is simple. She'll only last until she has her internal injury.]]<br />
[[Image:1000651.JPG|thumb|Yeah... Look at those big hooters!]]<br />
[[Image:1000652.JPG|thumb|Oops, she popped her top. :D]]<br />
</nowiki><br />
</blockquote><br />
<br clear="all"><br />
'''Between 8:59 and 9:09 p.m. EST, 12 Nov (1:59-02:09 GMT 13 Nov), Chris makes the following edits:<br />
'''<br />
* Virignia time: 8:59-9:09pm, 12 November 2007<br />
* Puts his shit back in.<br />
* Amends a sentence defending the jerkops to say "they're all just doing their jobs '''of enforcing an awesomely [[Virginia is for Virgins|fucked-up false law]].'''"<br />
<br />
* Adds this:<br />
{{quote|Christian Weston Chandler would like [[ED]] and [[4chan]] to know the following: '''I will continue to Shove The True Facts From My Heart and Soul Down Your Throats, only until you take this WHOLE PAGE Down For Good.'''}}<br />
<br />
===13 November===<br />
<br />
'''At 2:15 p.m. EST (19:14 GMT), Chris makes the following edits:<br />
'''<br />
* Sanitizing the article again, and putting his material back in.<br />
* Adds this description of Jerkops: "the imposter police in colors OTHER than BLUE or BLACK who enforce the fucked-up false law of Virginia is for Virgins; not lovers".<br />
* Edits a recommendation that [[Autistic]] people should be avoided to say "Despite it being highly recommended that anyone with [[Autism]] '''will get stared at in deep depth'''"<br />
* Adds a link to one of his diary entries, which is a tinyurl link pointing to what was presumably his [[MySpace]] blog before he took it down in 2008.<br />
<br />
<br />
===14 November===<br />
<br />
'''Between 11:29 and 11:43 p.m. EST (04:29-04:43 GMT, 15 Nov), Chris makes the following edits:<br />
'''<br />
* Creates the user page for Reldnahc. Spends fifteen minutes trying to figure out how to embed an MP3 of So Need a Cute Girl directly onto the page, but fails.<br />
* Puts his material back into the ED article, possibly other minor edits.<br />
<br />
===28 December===<br />
<br />
'''Edit made at 12:25 a.m. EST (05:26 GMT):'''<br />
<br />
* By this point Chris seems to be copy-pasting a poorly-formatted copy of the article as he wants it to appear. Ironically, several insults directed at him, which had been edited for length, are now reintroduced by his reversion. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997377875]</s><br />
<br />
===30 December===<br />
<br />
'''Edits made at 12:13-12:14 (05:13-05:14 GMT):'''<br />
<br />
* Now using a new account, "Chris-chan", Chris replaces three whole articles (his own, as well as "Scared kitty" and "Insane Clown Posse/TL;DR") with "Stop spreading LIES about me!" <br />
<s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997380740]</s> <br />
<s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Scared_kitty&diff=prev&oldid=1997380741]</s><br />
<s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Insane_Clown_Posse/TL%3BDR&diff=prev&oldid=1997380745]</s><br />
<br />
===10 January===<br />
<br />
'''Chris makes the following edit at 2:49 p.m. EST (19:49 GMT)<br />
<br />
* Chris replaces the entire article with "<nowiki>[vo!d]</nowiki>" <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997396041]</s><br />
<br />
===19 January===<br />
<br />
'''Edit made at 4:35 a.m. (09:35 GMT)<br />
<br />
* Denilah replaces the entire article with the following:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>Dahlings, by order of of President [[George W. Bush|George Bush Junior]], there shall be no naughty, grotesque posts of this dahling US citizen.<br />
<br />
Any new posts, or deletion of this official message shall be found punishable to the fullest extent of American Law.<br />
<br />
From the Secreterial Desk of the White House,<br />
<br />
The President, George Bush</blockquote><br />
<br />
: It's unclear if Denilah was Chris, since there are many trolls who vandalize the page for lulz. But if Chris were going to convince people that someone who is not Chris says the page must not be edited, this is probably what it would look like. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997405266]</s><br />
<br />
===21 January===<br />
<br />
'''Edit made at 4:43 a.m. EST (09:43 GMT):'''<br />
<br />
* As Clyde ([[Clyde Cash|no relation?]]), Chris replaces the article with:<br />
<br />
<blockquote><br />
<center>*****POST NO BILLS*****</center><br />
<p><center>There is absolutely no meaning in cyber bullying. And if you have so much free time to play the cruelest game of "[[KICK THE AUTISTIC]]", then you CAN and SHOULD put the time to better use; volunteer for a social chore; take up the culture in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|tasteful art]]; go out and socialize.<br />
<br>You don't need to terrorize the innocent. Please. Stop mocking not just me, but all the individuals you have hurt with this crappy bullying, Because IT HURTS YOU AND US ALL. <br />
<br>Thank you.<br />
<br>Christian Weston Chandler.</center><br />
</p> <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997406599&oldid=1997405835]</s></blockquote><br />
<br />
===25 January===<br />
<br />
'''Edits made from 6:10 to 6:16 a.m EST (11:10-11:16 GMT):''' <br />
<br />
* A new account, Glith, adds a message to the Chris-chan talk page, saying "I KNOW MORE THAN YOU THINK," adding "so there". <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Talk:Chris-chan/Archive8&diff=prev&oldid=1997409944]</s><br />
<br />
* Glith replaces the article with the request that ED persecute [[Joshua Martinez]] instead of Chris. This doesn't seem to work—something about personal armies or something. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&oldid=1997409947]</s><br />
<br />
===26 January===<br />
<br />
'''Edits made 6:15-6:27 a.m. EST (11:15-11:27 GMT):'''<br />
<br />
* As Waltbunn, Chris blanks the article (and its talk page) and tries to come up with some sort of wiki tag that will somehow prevent further editing or otherwise destroy the article. None of this shit works, of course.<ref><s>http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Waltbunn</s></ref><br />
<br />
===12 March===<br />
<br />
'''Edits made at 5:52 a.m. EDT (09:52 GMT)'''<br />
<br />
* On the same day that Megan and Chris exchange emails about Megan's outrage over the fingerbanging picture, Waltermelon removes virtually every reference to Megan from the article, as well as the Chris/Megan sex drawing Chris himself posted in November 2007. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997467336&oldid=1997465382]</s><br />
<br />
===15 March===<br />
<br />
'''Edits made from 8:49-8:57 a.m. EDT (12:49-12:57 GMT):'''<br />
[[Image:TomTomCloseup.jpg|thumb|right|Chris used this image, TomTomCloseup.jpg, to replace [[ShecameforCWC]].]]<br />
* Christian-Weston-Chandler uploads a new file, TomTomCloseup.jpg, which is a closeup of the vagina in the original ShecameforCWC.JPG drawing. He replaces ShecameforCWC.JPG with TomTomCloseup.jpg in the article. Presumably his reasoning here is that if he can't get ED to let him take the picture down altogether, he can compromise with them by substituting a different drawing that at least doesn't show Megan's face.<br />
<br />
* He then repeatedly deletes and re-inserts the same section of text about Megan, as if he's not sure whether it should be in the article or not. He may be thinking that these edits will distract from his actual goal, which is to eliminate ShecameforCWC.JPG. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997471349&oldid=1997469851]</s><br />
<br />
:This plan is successful for maybe two days, until the article is protected and CrumpetTrumpet identifies the chicanery. Note that everyone is still of the opinion that it's Crystal in the drawing--nobody, including Megan, would have ever known he drew her nude if he'd known when to shut up. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997475778&oldid=1997475129]</s><br />
<br />
'''9:13 p.m. EDT (01:13 GMT 16 Mar):'''<br />
<br />
* Chris edits a notice alerting ED users to his vandalism to read: "Christian Weston Chandler is currently trying to vandalize this article. You can help by explaining why you hate him so much as to contribute to this drama-mama."<br />
<br />
===17 March===<br />
<br />
'''8:39-8:48 p.m. EDT (00:39-00:48 GMT 18 Mar):'''<br />
<br />
* Chris tries to replace the Megan drawing with the TomTomCloseup.jpg again. He also removes references to Megan and to his vandalism of the article (although he ''adds'' a list of his known sockpuppets, for some reason; he may be working from an earlier revision without reading it). He seriously thinks he can ban ED users WhiteMystery and CrumpetTrumpet from his own article by merely posting tables which are presumably crude copies of templates. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997475972&oldid=1997475794]</s><br />
<br />
'''10:58-10:59 p.m. EDT (02:58-02:59 GMT 18 Mar):'''<br />
<br />
* Chris uploads his cover art for his [[Adult Chronicles]] game, for PS2, PS3, and Wii, and adds them to the article, noting "Never on HEXBox!" He again tries to remove the Megan drawing and the list of sockpuppets. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997476177&oldid=1997475996]</s><br />
<br />
===18 March===<br />
<br />
'''12:07-12:11 a.m. EDT (04:07-04:11 GMT):'''<br />
<br />
* Chris by now seems more concerned with dispelling the notion that he wants to have sex with Crystal than with taking down the Megan drawing. He changes this:<br />
<br />
{{quote|...and drawing pictures of himself having sex with his imaginary twin sister.}}<br />
<br />
: to read:<br />
{{quote|and drawing pictures of himself having sex with Megan, who would never want to do it with him anyhow; what a sadsack virginal loser.}}<br />
<br />
: He makes other alterations to the captions of thumbnails to mock himself for wanting sex with Megan, all the better to prevent anyone from drawing the more (hypothetically) incestuous conclusion. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997476252&oldid=1997476245]</s><br />
<br />
'''9:00-9:10 a.m. EDT (13:00-13:10 GMT):'''<br />
<br />
* Chris again changes the sentence about him wanting to have sex with his imaginary sister to "his lost Sailor Soldier, Megan, who dumped his sorry ass for drawing the pic of him fucking her; she never even had any inkling of interest in him. What a intolerable sad-sack loser."<br />
<br />
* He edits the article's implication that he only claims to be autistic, citing "paperwork from doctors and psychologists and other quacks."<br />
<br />
* By now he has stopped trying to remove the Megan drawing and merely moves it around the article. Megan appears to have said something to him that has made him stop giving a shit. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997476698&oldid=1997476683]</s><br />
<br />
===19 March===<br />
<br />
'''6:15 p.m. EDT (22:15 GMT):'''<br />
<br />
* Chris removes paragraphs about Megan again, and tries for the second time to ban users by putting up crude templates saying they're banned. His banhammer is aimed at users who have reverted his edits: WhiteMystery, CrumpetTrumpet, Weatherman, Drunkenlazybastard, and MysteryBot. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997478479&oldid=1997476922]</s><br />
* Chris e-mails [[Wikipedia]] pleading for assistance:<br />
*:<i>"I've found your Mediawiki Software, but I am askew with confusion on how to even install the program and all that (the unrecognizable .tar extension didn't help much either). Please help me in deleting everything on the page, and putting a Edit Lock onto it."</i> <ref>[[Chris emails 2008#March]]</ref><br />
<br />
===20 March===<br />
<br />
'''8:14-8:40 p.m. EDT (00:14-00:40 GMT 21 Mar)''':<br />
<br />
* Christian decides if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, and presents [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!]] He also continues to delete sections about Megan and references to wanting to have sex with Crystal. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997480063&oldid=1997479407]</s><br />
<br />
===21 March===<br />
<br />
'''1:08-1:09 p.m. EDT (17:08-17:09 GMT):''', <br />
<br />
* Chris deletes large, seemingly arbitrary portions of the article, strangely leaving parts of it intact. He specifically targets a drawing of Rosechu with a penis. This appears to be his final round of edits to ED until August 2008. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997481251&oldid=1997480886]</s><br />
<br />
===7 August===<br />
<br />
'''2:03 a.m. EDT (06:03 GMT):'''<br />
<br />
* A user known only as SAVE CHRIS CHAN replaces the article with "YOU SHOULD ALL BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES! CWC DOES NOT DESERVE ALL THIS HATE!" <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&oldid=1997693022]</s><br />
<br />
===13 August===<br />
<br />
'''8:48-8:49 p.m. EDT (00:48-00:49 GMT 14 Aug):'''<br />
<br />
* Reldnahc returns to the Chris-chan talk page with this announcement concerning the alleged medallion theft: <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Talk:Chris-chan/Archive8&diff=prev&oldid=1997701173]</s><br />
<br />
<blockquote><br />
<nowiki>=== Hey, B-Itches, Quit your barkin'. ===</nowiki><br/><br />
<br />
I have returned to my comic drawing, one page at a time, so you can quit your slanderous, unrequired cries for attention. Also, I LAUGH at your mockery of a medal imitation; yours looks MORE like a sugar cookie I had with lunch...from a Grocery Store; Free Cookies!<br />
<br />
The neighbors have been complaining, and they have provided over a Thousand signatures on the Petition; let your Encyclopedogia Bitchmatica get its injection for eternal sleep.<br />
<br />
|----<br />
<br />
Middle Finger in your "Ear Lot Evil".<br />
</blockquote><br />
<br />
===14 August===<br />
<br />
'''7:41-7:45 p.m. EDT (23:41-23:45 GMT):'''<br />
<br />
* Jamplerf replaces both the Chris-chan and 4chan articles with "Fuck you, ED." It's difficult to determine whether this is really Chris or a troll capitalizing on the wave of CWC-mania at the time, but the vandalism is consistent with Christian's focus on 4chan as an enemy. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Jamplerf]</s><br />
<br />
===17 August===<br />
<br />
'''6:18 a.m. EDT (10:18 GMT):'''<br />
<br />
* Chris deletes a (probably apocryphal) story on the talk page about him deliberately getting into a car wreck with a pretty girl as a pretext to asking her on a date. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Talk:Chris-chan/Archive8&diff=prev&oldid=1997706991]</s><br />
<br />
====18 August====<br />
<br />
'''2:46 a.m. EDT (06:46 GMT):''' <br />
<br />
* Chris deletes discussion of his parents' names and home address. You may be noticing by this point that the harder he tries the worse things get. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Talk:Chris-chan/Archive8&diff=prev&oldid=1997708544]</s><br />
<br />
===22 August===<br />
<br />
'''10:38-10:43 p.m. EDT (02:38-02:43 GMT 23 Aug):'''<br />
<br />
* Chris furiously tries to remove any reference to his home phone number and address from the Chris-chan article and the talk page. He finally says:<br />
<br />
<blockquote><nowiki>===IF YOU BOTHER ME===</nowiki><br />
<br />
I will STAR69 Your Number or call 911! <br />
You are NOT Freakin' TMZ, so just leave me Alone with Peace of my Mind. [[Christian Weston Chandler]]<br />
</blockquote><br />
<br />
===30 August===<br />
<br />
'''5:09 a.m. EDT (09:09 GMT):'''<br />
<br />
* In a curiously low-key edit, Chris corrects a report about him getting kicked out of his favorite shop, changing "GameStop" to "Game Place".<br />
<br />
===2 September===<br />
<br />
'''4:00-4:27 a.m. EDT (08:00-08:27 GMT):'''<br />
<br />
* Chris uploads nine nude drawings of Rosechu and replaces transsexual and homoerotic Sonichu fan art with them. (Later, in [[Sonichu 8]], these images are shown to be photographs taken by Rosechu herself and uploaded to [[4-cent_garbage.com]].) <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997731317&oldid=1997731056]</s><br />
<br />
* While he's doing this he makes an odd comment in the caption of a picture of Crystal: "Crystal has her vagina ready too."<br />
<br />
===3 September===<br />
<br />
'''3:53-6:19 p.m. EDT (19:53-22:19 GMT):'''<br />
<br />
* Christian reverts edits of his new Rosechu nudes. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997733933]</s><br />
<br />
* On his Reldnahc user talk page, Chris finds himself repeatedly blanking the page to remove a template showing dozens of images of penises. In response he creates a gallery of erotic imagery he has found on ED that meets with his approval, and posts it on both his user page and its talk page. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=User_talk:Reldnahc&diff=prev&oldid=1997733922]</s> <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=User:Reldnahc&diff=prev&oldid=1997733919]</s><br />
<br />
* Chris also continues to try to correct the assumption that it is Crystal and not Megan in the fingerbanging art. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997733937]</s><br />
<br />
===4 September===<br />
<br />
'''2:37-4:21 a.m. EDT (06:37-08:21 GMT):'''<br />
<br />
* Chris deletes large portions of the Reldnahc talk page criticizing his edits, and struggles to keep the dongs off the page and his gallery on. He issues variations of this statement on Chris-chan, User:Reldnahc, and User talk:Reldnahc:<br />
<br />
<blockquote><br />
<nowiki>**DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!**</nowiki><br/><br />
<br />
I AM ADDING THE POSITIVITY THIS HELL-HOLE OF A WEBSITE DESPERATELY NEEDS; you just do not appreciate the POSITIVITY I AM ADDING TO THE PAGE. What I am doing is a STAND against OFFENSIVE, UNNATURAL, UNREQUIRED Additions to ANY Female Image. What I am doing is a STAND for EVERY SINGLE WOMAN Everywhere, because NO WOMAN would EVER want such a Horrific Twist of Fate. What I am doing is a STAND against the VERY THING that is NOT FUNNY AT ALL!!!!!!!<br/><br />
<br />
And I will continue to draw my own TASTEFUL NUDE FEMALE ART, with HONEST VAGINA, UTERUS AND OVARIES to my heart's and RAGE AGAINST YOU DICK-HEADS content.<br/><br />
<br />
If you want me to stop, Draw Breasts, Vaginas, Uterus, Ovaries and the God-Given Eggs within them on ALL ROSECHU FANART for yourselves, you Two-Inch Short Dick-HEADS!!!!!!!!<br/><br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br/><br />
Christian Weston Chandler,<br/><br />
A Man For The Women, For the Women's Rights, For the Women's Justice, For the Women's Peace.<br/><br />
<br />
{{quote|P.S. I FULLY UNDERSTAND YOUR MOCKERIES; YOU ALL ARE JUST JERK IDIOTS.|Chris-Chan}}<br />
</blockquote><br />
<br />
'''10:21-11:14 p.m. EDT (02:21-03:14 GMT 5 Sep):'''<br />
<br />
* Chris continues battling to either remove the penises on his talk page or change them into pictures of boobies and vaginas. During this flurry of edits he also begins to weed out pictures he previously put in his "choice ED pics" of Dot from Animaniacs, Cream from Sonic the Hedgehog, and Misty from Pokémon; this seems to be out of concern that people think he is fapping to underage characters, since this comes within hours of his announcement that Rosechu is eighteen years old.<br />
<br />
===7 September===<br />
<br />
'''1:07 a.m. EDT (05:07 GMT):'''<br />
<br />
* Chris makes an edit to dispute the assertion that his Rule 34 drawings had to have been drawn prior to ED's discovery of him. <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997739363]</s><br />
<br />
===9 September===<br />
'''9:17-9:34 p.m. EDT (01:17-01:34 GMT 10 Sep):'''<br />
<br />
* Chris edits the section for the newly-released Episode 18, trying to make sure everyone understands that the villains of the piece are Jason Kendrick Howell and a thinly-veiled analogue of ED. He continues to insist that it's Megan, not Crystal, in the fingerbanging picture.<br />
<br />
* On his user page and usertalk page, Chris continues in vain to stop the influx of pickles.<br />
<br />
===11 September===<br />
<br />
'''10:15-10:16 p.m. EDT (02:15-02:16 GMT):'''<br />
<br />
* Chris by now realizes the n00dz he thought he sent to [[Blanca]] actually ended up in the hands of the Man in the Pickle Suit, and they're all on ED. He blanks the Chris-chan, User:Reldnahc, and User talk:Reldnahc articles. All three articles are reverted in minutes; ED's MysteryBot automatically suspends the Reldnahc account for at least 24 hours. This presumably discourages Chris from making further attempts to salvage his reputation, as there is little evidence of him contributing to ED from this point forward.<br />
<br />
===16 March===<br />
'''Edits made at 5:45 p.m. EDT (21:42-21:45 GMT):'''<br />
<br />
* The Chris-chan account, which has been dormant since 30 December 2007, suddenly reappears to leave cryptic messages on the articles for <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Cho_Seung-Hui&diff=prev&oldid=1997961206 Cho Seung-Hui]</s> and <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Tim_Kretschmer&diff=prev&oldid=1997961205 Tim Kretschmer]</s>, and to replace the Chris-chan article with this message:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>One day you FUCKERS will pay for what you have done!<br />
<br />
You made [[Megan]] live! MY ONLY FUCKING SWEETHEART! YOU WILL PAY!<br />
<br />
NOW LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!<br />
<br />
REMOVE THIS FUCKING ARTICLE, 4 CENT GARBAGE!<s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997961209&oldid=1997960172]</s></blockquote><br />
<br />
: Chris's password strength is notoriously weak, and it's very likely someone has hijacked one or more of his ED accounts, especially now that this article exists to list his sockpuppets.<br />
<br />
===May 2009===<br />
<br />
===14 May===<br />
<br />
'''Edits made at 6:53-6:54 p.m. EDT (22:53-22:54 GMT):'''<br />
<br />
* A new account, <s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu]</s>, is created and used to put the following message on the "Chris-chan" talk page:<br />
<br />
<blockquote><br />
<nowiki>=== I've moved on last Tuesday ===</nowiki><br/><br />
<br />
I have learned that there was a connection between her and a state in Washington where some of you have been lurking, and that she was not found in any public records. It took me a week to recover from the crestfallen emotions, but I am moving on with my life.<br />
<br />
Also, you'll have to catch me IRL ONLY to troll me any further. Do you dare?<br />
<br />
Peace-Out,<br />
Christian Weston Chandler.<br />
<br />
<nowiki>--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 22:54, 14 May 2009 (UTC)</nowiki><br />
</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
===15 May===<br />
<br />
'''Edits made 11:35-11:36 p.m. EDT (3:35-3:36 GMT 16 May)'''<br />
<br />
* ChrisChanSonichu adds the following to his previous message:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>Hey, CLYDE, you JERK. I said "IN REAL LIFE", not Playstation. Also, why don't you be the man you CLAIM to be and face me yourself? You keep sending out your prawns to do your dirty work, you coward. >:-(<br />
<br />
Christian C.</blockquote><br />
<br />
* He then immediately reverts his own edit.<br />
<br />
There has been speculation that the edits were fake, but his videos since the 15th of May have confirmed the information given, so it can reasonably be assumed that the account belongs to Chris.<br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!]]<br />
*[[Christian's sex joke]]<br />
*[[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki]]<br />
*[[Wikipedia]]<br />
<br />
{{The Internet}}<br />
{{Lists}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Lists]]<br />
[[Category:Trolling]]<br />
[[Category: ED Saga]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=You_know_what,_I_HATE_ME_TOO!!!&diff=153843
You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!
2011-12-05T06:45:07Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
'''You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!''' is the gallery of fail Chris added to his own [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article in March 2008 <ref><s>http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997480063&oldid=1997479407</s></ref> in a bizarre attempt to presumably either show humility or appease the trolls, who delight in seeing examples of Chris suffering.<br />
<br />
Instead of showing situations demonstrating how he fails in real life, Chris posts various scenes from his comic book subjecting [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|his Mary-Sue character]] to various misfortunes. How this amounts to self-deprecation, [[Autism|only Chris knows]], since Chris sees mild inconveniences like doing [[chores]] or being [[Get-Tar Region|told not to loiter]] as great [[Chris and his Ego|trials of adversity]]. Scenes in his comic where he's anything less than immaculate, he considers ultimate acts of humility.<br />
<br />
What Chris fails to understand is that<br />
#People can tell the difference between fact and fiction and ex-cathedra proclamations.<br />
#Readers actually prefer that fictional characters have some weaknesses (those in the industry call this "depth"), albeit they are generally a bit more believable and less crippling than what's seen here.<br />
<br />
It is presented here exactly as it originally appeared on ED.<br />
<br />
==You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!==<br />
<br />
And it is shown in the following clips:<br />
<br />
<center><gallery><br />
Image:SchuComic5Cover.jpg|I let myself get taunted and jeered to the max.<br />
Image:AutisticFreak.jpg|I Called Myself a FREAK!<br />
Image:CarpetStain.jpg|I had my head rubbed vigerously against a rough carpet.<br />
Image:BloodTear.jpg|And it left me shedding Tears of Blood.<br />
Image:BurnedMySeat.jpg|I set my ASS ON FIRE!<br />
Image:MajorWedgie.jpg|I was given the worst wedgie of my life!<br />
Image:CrashedIntoaWall.jpg|I crashed full-speed into walls!<br />
Image:DrenchedwithSoda.jpg|I got DRENCHED in Soda, turned bad from the accident.<br />
Image:Dogpile.jpg|I was piled on by a bunch of Jerkops.<br />
Image:CWCComet.jpg|I led a comet into a path of my self-destruction.<br />
Image:GrippedbyHead.jpg|I was gripped by mattalic digits by my head.<br />
Image:GuiltyInnocense.jpg<br />
Image:DroppedMyself.jpg|And I dropped myself.<br />
Image:Headache.jpg|I had major headaches.<br />
Image:WangedinHead.jpg<br />
Image:KickedWhackedFaceinSand.jpg|Not to mention being BEAT UP Numerously.<br />
Image:TKOGundam.jpg<br />
Image:TookHeavyDamage.jpg<br />
Image:GrossedMyselfOUT.jpg|Grossed Myself the FREAK OUT!<br />
Image:SinkIntoAbyss.jpg|I let myself fall into an ABYSS.<br />
Image:IgnoredMyself.jpg|I ignored myself.<br />
Image:DorkyExpression.jpg|Drew myself Stupidly.<br />
Image:RenderedUnconsious.jpg|I've worn myself unconsious.<br />
Image:SilverPlatter.jpg|And I served myself on a Silver Platter!<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
== Sources ==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
[[Category:Historical Documents]]<br />
[[Category:Images]]<br />
[[Category:ED Saga]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Man_in_the_Pickle_Suit&diff=153842
Man in the Pickle Suit
2011-12-05T06:44:43Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{quote|The Pickle Man tricked me again.|Christian Weston Chandler<ref>[[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008]]</ref>}}<br />
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"<br />
|-<br />
! colspan="2" | Trolls<br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Ze_Pickleman.jpg|200px]]<br />
|-<br />
! colspan="2" |Man in the Pickle Suit<br />
|-<br />
| '''Real name'''<br />
| Harold (?)<br />
|-<br />
| '''Gender'''<br />
| Male<br />
|-<br />
| '''Race'''<br />
| [[Chris and race|White]]<br>[[Chris and race|Black]]<br>[[Michael Snyder|Jew]]<br />
|-<br />
| '''Occupation(s)'''<br />
Internet troll<br />
|-<br />
|}<br />
<br />
<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[Image: DancingPickleMan.gif]]</div><br />
[[File:Pickle surprise.jpg|thumb|Suspect]]<br />
<br />
The '''Man in the Pickle Suit''' (a.k.a. the '''Black Man in the Pickle Suit'''<ref>[[Jackie Chat 3]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie Chat 6]]</ref>) is the arch-nemesis of [[Chris]] whom he used to blame whenever he is tricked or conned.<br />
<br />
Oddly, even though Chris turns basically [[Kick the Autistic|everyone that annoys him]] into a [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|villain]] in his [[Sonichu (comic)|shitty comic]], the Man in the Pickle Suit has been spared. The closest it got was when [[Clyde Cash|"Cly"]] fought Chris using a goddamn "pickle gun".<ref>[[Sonichu Special 1]]</ref><br />
<br />
Chris claims that the MitPS name may be '''Harold'''.<ref>[[Kacey Call 24]]</ref><br />
<br />
== Origin ==<br />
[[Lordsillynipples]] is the one true creator of the Pickle Negro. After posing as [[Blanca]] to troll CWC in early August [[2008]], a fake [[MySpace]] page, silly made Chris believe that Blanca was indeed a black transvestite in a pickle costume by suddenly revealing a new version of the MySpace. Ever since then, Chris has feared the pickle men.<br />
<br />
{{quote|I don't know who that guy is and I don’t think I really would care to know.|[[Chris]] on the Man in the Pickle Suit - [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]]}}<br />
<br />
== The Jew in the Pickle Suit ==<br />
This Pickle Man, at great personal risk, rescued [[Emily]] from the horrific date with Chris IRL. He also accompanied [[Robert Simmons V]] to his [[Church audio|visit]] to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|Christian's church]], disguised as an average civilian.<br />
<br />
==The Pickle Men today==<br />
[[File:Realpickle1.png|thumb|Shit just got real.]]<br />
<br />
In [[October 2009]], the MIPS established a [[YouTube]] account<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheNationofPickleMen#p/a/u/2/1cVdNCXTUB4]</ref> that suggests he has come out of retirement one last time to deal a final, crushing blow upon the manchild.<br />
<br />
==Selected videos==<br />
* 11 September 2008: [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 11th, 2008]] - Chris is first trolled by the Pickle Man.<br />
* 21 October 2008: [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008]] - Chris [[stress|crashes into slumber]] after the Pickle Man breaks up his relationship with [[Blanca]].<br />
* 17 March 2010: [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]] - Chris accuses [[Surfshack Tito]] of being a "pickle-suited [[Niggos|nigger]]".<br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
<center><gallery><br />
Image:Pickleslol.jpg|One artist's depiction of the Man in the Pickle Suit.<br />
Image:Black_man_in_pickle_suit.jpg|The Man in the Pickle Suit looking awesome.<br />
Image:MPSGotReal.jpg|That's no suit, Chris.<br />
Image:FC07.jpg|He is real. Very real.<br />
Image:Read This One.jpg|Despite including this warning, in which he suspected the user of being the Man in the Pickle Suit, he sent this user pictures of him in his mother's underwear and bra. IN THE SAME EMAIL.<br />
Image:TapestryPickleMan.jpg|The Man in the Pickle Suit is an ancient title passed on from one troll to another. In this lost scene from the Bayeux Tapestry, Geoffrey Weston the Feeble Minded (a possible early ancestor to [[Daniel Weston]]) is tricked by "The Man Donning the Pickled Cucumber Suit".<br />
Image:FightPickleman.jpg|The weeaboo version of the Man in the Pickle Suit.<br />
Image:CucumberMan.jpg|WHO IS THE CUCUMBER MAN?<br />
Image:Pickleportrait.jpg|MPS looking great, as usual.<br />
</gallery></center><br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.myspace.com/kawaiikitsune123 The MPS's] on [[MySpace]]<br />
*[http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Man-in-the-Pickle-Suit/178569036183 The Man in the Pickle Suit] on [[Facebook]]<br />
<br />
{{Trolls}}<br />
[[Category:Trolls]]<br />
[[Category:Villains]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Excel_Saga&diff=153841
Excel Saga
2011-12-05T06:44:20Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{quote|Anime Review: Excel on Excel Saga<br />
<br><br />
Excel Saga is a [[Random-access humor|wacky]] [[anime]] with [[parody|parodies]], an [[Boyfriend-free girl|energetic girl]], Excel, the ideological commander of ACROSS, [[ScotPalazzo|Il Palazzo]], a wandering soul, [[Niggo|Pedro]], and many other characters. The story is that it is a [[saga]] where Excel must suffer numerous hard adventures to realize ACROSS’ plan of conquest over a [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|corrupted]] world.<br />
<br><br><br />
Excel Saga has a total of 26 episodes on a set of 6 [[DVD]]s. If I had to pick a favorite episode, I’d pick episode 17 where Excel travels to [[America]] where she describes the differences between [[Anime]] and [[American Rabbit|American Animation]]. She also does an excellent [[parody]] to the classic Anime, [[Sailor Moon]], in this episode.|--Review by Chris<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville//SchusNews3.htm</ref>}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|300px|Chris meets [[Wikipedia:Monica Rial|Monica Rial]], who played [[Wikipedia:List of Excel Saga characters#Hyatt|Hyatt]] in the [[English]] dub of ''Excel Saga''. This is also perhaps the only time Chris has touched an attractive woman without her being immediately repulsed. What a brave, brave woman.]]<br />
<br />
While the [[plagiarism]] in [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] is obvious to just about anyone, there are even deeper, more subtle layers of unoriginality in Chris's masterwork. Truly, if Sonichu is the bastard [[gay]] love-child of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]], then Excel is surely his surrogate mother. For while the characters in ''Sonichu'' are mostly fusions of [[Sonic]] characters and ''[[Pokémon]]'' characters, Chris draws a lot of his "[[humor]]" from '''''Excel Saga''''', along with various other miscellaneous ideas that wound up in the comics. <br />
<br />
Additionally, ''Excel Saga'' has left something of a cultural impression upon Chris's personal life as well. The purpose of this article is to list as many of these influences as possible, and to provide the original context for those unfamiliar with the anime. Due to the relative obscurity of ''Excel Saga'', and the complexity of Chris's plagiarism of it, this article will also provide some additional background on the series.<br />
{{TOC limit|2}} <br />
<br />
==Introduction==<br />
[[Image:Excel-Saga.jpg|thumb|''Excel Saga'' (note Lord Il Palazzo in background and Menchi (the dog), a plushie Chris owns)]]<br />
<br />
The genesis of the [[anime]] lay in [[Wikipedia:Rikdo Koshi|Rikdo Koshi]]'s fan comic, ''[[Wikipedia:Municipal Force Daitenzin|Municipal Force Daitenzin]]'', which was an adult-themed parody of the ''sentai'' genre (read: ''[[Power Rangers]]''). By [[1990s#1996|1996]] he had retooled the concept to focus on Excel, one of the characters in the original fan comic, and the first ''Excel Saga'' comics saw print in Japan. Fun fact: Rikdo dabbled in some [[Sonic]] fancomics as well, and he hit the big time at the age of 26, making him everything Chris has ever dreamed of being professionally, whether Chris is aware of it or not. <br />
<br />
The manga tells the story of two factions struggling for control of the city of [[Wikipedia:Fukuoka|Fukuoka]], Japan. One, ACROSS, is led by the ruthless but myopic Lord Il Palazzo, who seeks to conquer the city as a stepping stone to world domination under his own high-minded ideals. His organization consists of only a handful of young women, who seem only vaguely aware of his intentions. The title character, Excel, is the first of these agents, later joined by Hyatt, and even later, Elgala. The second faction is the Department of City Security, headed by the civic-minded but manipulative Dr. Kabapu, a powerful government official. Over the course of the series, he recruits a number of people to work for his department, then slowly compels them to perform increasingly bizarre tasks in the name of civil defense. Though Kabapu and Il Palazzo share some mysterious history, the rest of their respective groups remain unaware of each other for much of the series. Against this backdrop, Rikdo weaves a satire of life in Japan during [[Wikipedia:Lost Decade (Japan)|the recession of the 1990s]]. <br />
<br />
Soon after the manga began publication, Rikdo was approached about an [[anime]] adaptation. He agreed, on the condition that the anime's storyline differ from his own, as the manga's plot was still unfolding. Further, much of the cynical, sometimes controversial humor in the comics was unsuitable for Japanese television, and so the anime's director, Shinichi Watanabe, had to come up with additional material to fill out the show. Among these contributions were a new character Pedro, an immigrant worker, the Great Will of the Macrocosm, a cosmic entity capable of reshaping continuity, and Nabeshin, the director's over-the-top alter ego. To explain this flagrant disregard for the source material, one of the running gags of the anime is an ongoing struggle between Rikdo and Nabeshin for control over the creative direction of the series, with Rikdo using a comically oversized rubber stamp to approve the use of his characters to lampoon various anime genres. <br />
<br />
==The series and Chris==<br />
<br />
[[File:Modnation ExcelExcel.jpg|thumb|Excel in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'']]<br />
<br />
The series was then adapted for release in North America by [[Wikipedia:A.D. Vision|A.D. Vision]] in [[2002]], and would eventually end up in the DVD player of a certain [[autistic]] manchild we all know. The [[English]] dub adds yet another layer to the series, which parodies other anime series as it partially adapts a manga that itself parodies even more anime. To better help American audiences get the references, ADV included optional pop-up notes in the DVDs so that a befuddled viewer could learn just what the hell Excel was imitating or why such-and-such dialogue was supposed to be a pun in Japanese. In other words, 99.99999999996% of the humor in ''Excel Saga'' was almost certainly over Chris's head, and so when he speaks of the series as being funny, he's probably just repeating what it says on the back of the DVD case, or referring to slapstick humor like Excel falling down a hole. That Chris would dare to steal material from this series has three side-effects: <br />
<br />
1) Chris doesn't actually understand what he's stealing. At least when he ripped off [[Pikachu]], he knew how to do it. Cute yellow thing shoots lightning. Simple. From there, Chris would go on to draw its [[penis]], but the basic gist of Pikachu was properly stolen. When Chris rips off a joke from ''Excel Saga'', however, he robs the gag of all context, resulting in an awkward line of dialogue that's unoriginal and unfunny.<br />
<br />
2) Chris is ripping off anime he hasn't even seen. For example, since Chris actually had watched ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'', it's difficult to say for certain if the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] was lifted directly from ''DBZ'', or the episode of ''Excel Saga'' that parodied it. The vast majority of anime titles mocked or referenced by ''Excel Saga'', however, Chris has probably never even heard of, so when he steals that material, he doesn't realize it was already borrowed the first time.<br />
<br />
3) For once, it isn't immediately obvious when Chris is ripping something off. Since ''Excel'' isn't nearly as well-known as [[Sonic]] or Pikachu, Chris can actually sort of get away with lifting ideas from it.<br />
<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
{{collapsible<br />
|Episode guide to ''Excel Saga'', with influences on Chris<br />
|<br />
===Episode 1===<br />
[[Image:405-ExcelV1.jpg|thumb|Chris's autographed copy of volume 1 of ''Excel Saga''.]]<br />
Excel is assigned to assassinate manga artist Koshi Rikdo, who created the ''Excel Saga'' comics on which the anime is based. After the Will of the Macrocosm restarts the story several times, Excel gets a part-time job directing traffic for a construction site. There, she meets immigrant worker Pedro, who gets killed as a result of Excel's hyperactive negligence. <br />
<br />
Influences on Chris: <br />
<br />
*'''FQX as a replacement for the FOX network:''' An FQX searchlight logo is used at the end of each episode as Excel promotes the next one. Chris would use "FQX News" as the home network of Greta Squall when he ripped off the Spring Break bit from ''[[Family Guy]]'' in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].<br />
*'''"Only three days since I skipped my last deadline":''' Sung aloud by Koshi Rikdo as he blithely draws his comics in his home, unaware that Excel is preparing to murder him. Chris would repeat this line for no good reason in "Off Target", featured in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]].<br />
*'''"PEDRO IS SHOCKED!":''' One of the many running gags throughout ''Excel Saga''. When a character is shocked they will scream out "SHOCK!" This is usually done by Pedro, but Nabeshin and Sandora have also said this. "SHOCK" has been used many times throughout the Sonichu comics, and this is most likely the inspiration.<br />
*'''"I could do all this before breakfast, but I had lunch a couple of hours ago":''' Said by Pedro when Excel motivates him to work harder at the construction site. Even the characters acknowledge that's a shitty wordplay gag native to Japan. It's less of a joke than a sign that Pedro is settling into his host country. Nevertheless, Chris uses it in his "classic" Sonichu strip from January 13, [[2004]], featured in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]].<br />
*'''Il Palazzo:''' Excel's leader, whose vast ambitions are undermined by his myopic strategies. For example, Il Palazzo seeks to unite the entire world through conquest, yet seeks only the takeover of the city he lives in, since it poses a lesser risk. When he calls for a purge of comic books from his New Order, he sends Excel out to kill a single cartoonist (Koshi Rikdo), an empty gesture at best. Chris attempted to demonize the manager of the Fashion Square Mall by recreating him as "[[ScotPalazzo]]", but this is ineffective, as Il Palazzo is less a villain than a mere [[parody]] of one. This would be equivalent to combining Scot from [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] with [[Wikipedia:Colonel Klink|Colonel Klink]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Hogan's Heroes|Hogan's Heroes]]'' or Dark Helmet from the movie ''[[Wikipedia:Spaceballs|Spaceballs]]''. <br />
*'''Nabeshin:''' Self-insertion of series director Wata'''nabe Shin'''ichi. His appearance in his own anime is intended to be a parody of other directors who insert themselves in their own animes, and so he appears as a colorful man of action and mystery, often portrayed as more important and critical to the plot than the characters adapted from the original manga. In general, Chris probably draws justification for his own self-insertion into ''Sonichu'' because Shinichi did it first, ignoring the fact that the Nabeshin character manages to be ironic and badass at the same time. Shinabe, the martial arts master who raised [[Punchy Sonichu]], resembled Nabeshin in appearance and name.<br />
*'''Excel:''' Hyperactive protagonist. Fanatically devoted to Il Palazzo's contradictory ideals, Excel blathers on endlessly throughout the series, with mixed comedic results. While the character "[[Mypoe]]" is named for ''[[Wikipedia:Puni Puni Poemy|Puni Puni Poemy]]'', another anime Shinichi Watanabe directed, she looks much more like Excel than anything else.<br />
*'''Menchi:''' A small, white dog. In many ways, the mascot of the show. Chris owns a plushie of Menchi, which can be seen in the background of many of his videos. He also created "Menchi-Nasu High School" in his "[[The High School Story]]."<br />
<br />
===Episode 2===<br />
Sci-fi parody. Nabeshin senses his old master, the Space Butler, has been abducted by the Martian Puuchus, en route to invade the Earth. Excel destroys the Martian battleship in a manic fit, and the Martian's "Princess"--Hyatt--ends up in ACROSS headquarters, where Il Palazzo assumes her to be a new recruit. <br />
<br />
Influences on Chris: <br />
<br />
*'''Explaining the story''': After the opening credits Excel apologizes that the story from the first episode makes no sense at all. So she then tells us what the story is about, a few of the characters, and the setting as well. Being that Sonichu's story also makes no sense at all Chris would copy this in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]].<br />
*'''Puuchu''': If backed into a rhetorical corner, Chris would probably argue that his own blatant usage of [[Pikachu]] is legitimized by ''Excel Saga''<nowiki>'</nowiki>s Puuchus, cuddly yellow creatures clearly indented to resemble the popular ''Pokémon'' character. The difference, of course, being that Puuchus offer a [[Parody|humorous twist]] on Pikachu, in that not only their cuteness belies their hostile nature, but they also put a definitely not cute face on when hurt or serious.<br />
** In addition, [[Sonees and Roseys]] certainly resemble Puchuus more than, say, Pichus.<br />
===Episode 3===<br />
[[Wikipedia:B movie|B movie]] action film parody. Il Palazzo tasks Hyatt with finding Excel, who was captured by mercenaries in the previous episode. Instead, Excel is rescued by Nabeshin, who infiltrates the mercenary camp to save his beloved Tetsuko. Nabeshin blows up a bunch of shit and Excel returns to Japan, where she meets the sickly Hyatt, who has barely even begun her first mission.<br />
*'''Director as the main character''': While Nabeshin had been aggressively inserted into the story before, the action movie format necessitated him in a bigger role, and here he pretty much moves the entire storyline forward. Much of this episode, from Nabeshin's fruitless quest to save his love, to Nabeshin's impossible victory over an entire army, would be reflected in the [[Sub-Episodes]]. <br />
*'''Prolonged speeches''': This is a staple in ''Excel Saga'', but it's worth noting here because this is the first time Il Palazzo really gets to preach on about what's wrong with the world. Similarly, most of Excel's dialogue in the anime comes in the form of rapid-fire babbling, which she does a lot of here, since she's in mortal danger for most of the episode. Chris may have interpreted this to mean that long-winded speeches are funny in general, regardless of topic or context. Thus ''Excel Saga'' may have inspired all those walls of text Chris writes into his stories, especially the ones where he lectures the villains for daring to oppose him. It should be noted, however, that while Excel and Il Palazzo are no less chatty in the ''Excel Saga'' manga, the author is much more conservative about writing every single friggin' word they say, since the gag wouldn't work as well in print.<br />
*'''Bumping into each other''': Throughout the episode Excel's side of the story is being told is shown in wide screen, while Hyatt's has been shown in a normal screen. Near the end of the episode Hyatt begins her mission to locate Excel. We then see Excel, which Menchi strapped to her chest, skipping happily down the street; overzealous with the joy of escaping. We then see Hyatt, walking down the street rather slowly, contemplating on where she should begin her mission. It switches between Excel and Hyatt a few more times; until the two happen to meet with Excel's side of the screen still in wide screen, and Hyatt's in full. [[Rosechu]] and [[Amy Rose]] would copy this in the epilogue of [[Sonichu 6]], resulting in something that just doesn't make sense. Also, if we consider that Rosechu was in wide screen mode, that means that she answers only to the all mighty ScotPalazzo.<br />
<br />
===Episode 4===<br />
Romantic comedy parody. The girls' next door neighbor, Toru Watanabe (not to be confused with Nabeshin) asks Hyatt out on a date, but the matter is soon complicated to the point of absurdity by the antics of their respective roommates. <br />
<br />
*'''[[Dating education|Dating game]] simulators''': This episode uses the concept brilliantly, depicting a real-life date between Hyatt and Watanabe, parallel to Lord Il Palazzo, who plays a [[video game]] featuring Hyatt as the girl he's trying to win. The idea of the game is to respond to romantic situations with one of three options. Throughout this episode, option 3 is often simply [[Sex|"Put it in"]]. As these dating simulator games never caught on in the United States, it's highly likely that this episode was what gave Chris the big idea to use ''[[Sprung]]'' to further his "[[Dating Education]]". This is further evidence that nearly all of the jokes in ''Excel Saga'' are way over Chris's head. The whole point of this episode is that these games are childish and unrealistic, and Chris simply assumes the writers are trying to give him tips on how to score. <br />
[[Image: Pedro3.jpg|thumb|200px|Pedro, upon viewing the [[Kimmi|Chris-Chan Sex Tape]]]]<br />
*'''Doll humping''': Excel rolls around on the floor with a life-size wooden figure dressed up to resemble Il Palazzo. Again, this is an example of Chris's warped behavior which might be attributed to him watching this show and thinking it's somehow acceptable in real life.<br />
*'''Simple white background characters''': These nondescript bystanders appear during Hyatt's date with Watanabe, a parody of ''[[Wikipedia:Di Gi Charat|Di Gi Charat]]''. Naturally, Chris took their use as implicit permission to slack off in his own drawings of large crowds. You can spot this in almost any issue of ''Sonichu''.<br />
*'''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!''': Before there was Darth Vader, there was Pedro. After dying in the first episode, Pedro's ghost endures a series of emotional trials throughout the series, as his wife immediately forgets about him and finds a new man (something Chris himself would later do when after a day he forgot about [[PandaHalo]] and moved on to [[Julie]]). Forced to watch the charming Gomez take over his family, Pedro can only watch in tears and scream his beloved catchphrase, which Chris would later repeat in [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]].<br />
<br />
===Episode 5===<br />
Drama about social issues. Excel and Hyatt infiltrate a government building to undermine the highest ranking city officials. Concurrently, Watanabe and his roommates, Iwata and Sumiyoshi, get jobs as civil servants working for the Department of City Security, a pet project run by the mysterious and influential Dr. Kabapu.<br />
*'''[[Red String of Fate]]:''' When Watanabe whines about having to work alongside his odious roommates, Iwata suggests they're bound by the red string of fate. Watanabe angrily retorts that the Red String is only supposed to be for destined lovers, not just any two people. Watanabe then meets Hyatt, posing as a refreshments vendor, and decides that the Red String of Fate binds the two of them. This could be where Chris first learned of the concept, since it's not like he would have found out about it from ''Dragon Ball Z'' or ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]''.<br />
*'''Dr. Kabapu:''' Dr. Kabapu is the leader of the city's defense team. However, he seems to hold a great amount of power in politics; so much that he could potentially make anyone mayor if he needed to. His desire to protect the city is strong; although a bit warped. If there is a threat to the city, he will find and destroy it. This warped way of thinking may have influenced the way that [[Chris-Chan|the Mayor]] runs the city of [[CWCville]].<br />
*'''Drool Waterfalls:''' Tears streaming like waterfalls is an often-used effect in ''Excel Saga'', particularly seen on the long-suffering Pedro. However, in this episode, many of the government workers are sickened after consuming Hyatt's refreshments, and begin roaming the building in zombie-like fashion, green drool pouring from their mouths. A very similar visual appeared in ''Sonichu'' #4, when [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] managed to paralyze the [[Jerkops]] in lust at a bowling alley.<br />
<br />
===Episode 6===<br />
Survival drama. Excel and Hyatt are sent to install a powerful weapon on a mountaintop and use it to destroy the city. Coincidentally, Kabapu's Department of City Security agents undergo training with laser pistols, and Iwata unwittingly foils ACROSS' plot when his weapon misfires. <br />
<br />
*'''Misaki Matsuya's Character Notes''': The introduction of Matsuya was treated as a big deal in the anime, with a pause to display text on the screen describing the character's age, gender, hobbies, and personality traits. Chris would emulate this several times when introducing new characters, including [[Wes Iseli]], [[Sarah Hammer]], [[Allison Amber]], [[Simonla Rosechu]], and [[Zapina Rosechu]].<br />
<br />
*'''Ha-chan, Eh-Chan, Will-Chan, etc.''': The suffix "-chan" is ubiquitous in anime, but most English dubs don't carry it over into the translation. Even if Chris had heard it before watching ''Excel Saga'', the sheer abundance of "-chan" combined with the first syllable of a character's name in the series is probably what led Chris to dub himself "Chris-Chan". This would also explain Chris's failure to realize the context of -chan. While the honorific is used for children, girls, and young women, ''Excel Saga'' uses it so gratuitously that a viewer might never notice the pattern, especially in this episode. Nevertheless, the suffix "-chan" could be seen as working for Chris in a unique way, since it effectively puns off his last name: "Chandler". The suffix is further validated by the fact that in many ways, Chris really is a child.<br />
<br />
===Episode 7===<br />
[[Image: Kabapu.jpg|thumb|200px|Fun Fact: Chris faps to this anime.]]<br />
<br />
Horror film. Kabapu sends the DCS team into the sewers, not far from the underground lair of ACROSS. Excel and Hyatt activate defense systems at random, causing a flood. Both groups run afoul of the Puuchus, led by the hideous Puuchu Queen, until Nabeshin triggers a second flood which saves the cast and destroys the monsters. <br />
<br />
*'''Ms. Momochi''': Kabapu's secretary, who walks in on Kabapu while he's in between changing clothes in his office. While bearing no physical resemblance, the character may well have been the inspiration for Miss [[Allison Amber]], Chris's mayoral aide and girl Friday.<br />
<br />
===Episode 8===<br />
Pretty girl anime. In a shameless bid to increase ratings, all male characters are stricken from the storyboards, appearing only as off-screen voices, shadows, or hands. The DCS team take a vacation day to visit the City Pool, while Excel and Hyatt coincidentally do the same. Hyatt befriends a young girl named Cosette Sara, who turns out to be a cunning assassin. In a strange twist of fate, Cosette is transported to the world of the dead, where she sees her mother's ghost once more, but Pedro warns that she cannot cross the Sanzu River to join her, for it would mean she would die as well. Taking pity on Cosette, the Great Will of the Macrocosm retcons Cosette's life so that her mother never died and her dark life as a child assassin never happened. The other male characters later confront Pedro for violating the "no-men" rule of the episode. <br />
<br />
Influences on Chris: Nothing really obvious. This episode was primarily a tongue-in-cheek exercise in gratuitous fanservice, so Chris may have been too busy fapping away to notice anything else. He ''may'' have gotten the idea to do the Spring Break story in ''Sonichu'' #8 from this episode, but other than the all-Rosechu cover, it seems like a rather thin connection.<br />
<br />
===Episode 9===<br />
Sports anime. Considering athletics to be the universal language of the masses, Il Palazzo sends Hyatt and Excel to research ways to exploit sports for the purpose of world domination. This leads the duo to part-time jobs in a bowling alley, which is soon overrun by the [[9/11|terrorist]]/bowling organization "Stick and Balls", who plot to use the alley to spread their pro-bowling propaganda and return the "sport of kings" to its former glory. Excel flees to the women's restroom, where Nabeshin agrees to train her in the art of bowling to defeat the Stick and Balls' ringleader. Excel kicks everyone's ass and saves the day. <br />
<br />
*'''"I'm much, much saltier":''' When Excel confronts the terrorists, they mock her for having run away earlier. Excel's response: "But I'm ''not'' the sweet little girl I was a few minutes ago! I'm much, much saltier now!" Compare to Chris's line from Sub-Episode 6 of ''Sonichu'' #4, as he describes his showdown with the Jerkops at a bowling alley: "Ah, but I am not the weak person they think I am; I am much, much saltier!" Chris has also used this phrase in private e-mails, to describe himself in the present compared to the naivete of his youth. Note that by omitting the word "sweet", he completely loses the pun.<br />
<br />
*'''Bowling:''' The course of the battle in Sub-Episode 6 really doesn't match up well with Excel's bowling adventure, aside from the single hero challenging an entire squad of goons in a bowling alley and defeating them with superhuman bowling moves. It's possible Chris may be channeling some other cartoon in addition, but given the "much, much saltier" line, it's clear that ''Excel Saga'' gave Chris the bright idea to do a comic set in a bowling alley.<br />
<br />
===Episode 10===<br />
Animal anime. Menchi, Excel's pet dog/emergency food supply, escapes their apartment and tries to seek out a kindly old man who once took care of her. She soon befriends a pack of fellow strays, led by the charismatic Wolf. Wolf's pack agree to help Menchi find the old man, but soon run afoul of the Animal Control Department, a squad of dogs who serve as dog catchers. After great heartache and betrayal, Wolf and the others sacrifice themselves so that Menchi can escape. Perhaps favoring Excel's long-term threats to the immediate dangers of the outside world, she returns to Excel's apartment.<br />
<br />
*'''Anthropomorphic dogs:''' While Menchi can't talk, and in fact seems to look and sound more like a cat than a dog, the other dogs in this episode can speak, and on occasion assume humanoid postures. It appears that Chris ripped off this imagery when he reincarnated his own dog, Patti, as [[Patti-Chan]]. Patti doesn't quite resemble any of the dogs in this episode (her design actually having been stolen from a picture by Megan), although her face does look sort of like a cross between Menchi's and Kyoko's. Her body seems to more closely resemble Wolf's when he's standing upright, and it may be that Chris had to combine their designs in order to approximate Patti's breed. <br />
<br />
*'''A kind old man:''' Toward both the start and the ending of the episode Menchi has memories of the kind old man that took care of her before she met Excel. Once her memories are near completed, circles with memories of the old man fall slowly down the screen. Chris would copy this for the cover of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]].<br />
<br />
*'''Menchi's silent adventures:''' Until Menchi meets the other dogs, her speechless journey through the city bears a strong resemblance to the Sonichu Babies segments from [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]. In particular, a band of cruel children start throwing rocks and boulders at Menchi, not unlike a certain Whale we all know and love.<br />
<br />
*'''"I shall show you the power of the well-read dog!"''': Defiant last words of "The Professor", a Scottish terrier in Wolf's pack, as he sacrifices himself on Menchi's behalf. Chris alters the line into "Behold the power of the well-trusted dog!" when Patti-Chan appears in [[CWCville]] to save [[Crystal]] from [[Mary Lee Walsh]].<br />
<br />
At this point, the folly of Chris's plagiarism should be clear. He steals ideas and clever lines, but dismisses the concepts that made them worthwhile in the first place. Patti-Chan's storyline in ''Sonichu'' is basically this episode in reverse, with a dead dog coming back to life and saving her friends, whereas the whole appeal to "Menchi's Great Adventure" is the absurd pathos of a Scottish Terrier with glasses and cartoon bombs being a suicide bomber.<br />
<br />
===Episode 11===<br />
Youth drama. Excel and Hyatt take temp jobs as teachers, and quickly get saddled with the responsibility of training the school's delinquent baseball team for the big championship game. They lose, as is a common trope in sports anime, to reinforce the greater importance of sportsmanship and teamwork. <br />
<br />
Influence on Chris: None, apparently. Chalk this up to his apparent disinterest in sports, and the male-heavy cast of this particular episode.<br />
<br />
===Episode 12===<br />
Detective anime. Hyatt gets taken hostage by a pair of burglars, who panic and ultimately kill themselves when she dies and they fear they've murdered her. Meanwhile, the Department of City Security agents train under Purin, an impertinent young woman possessed by the ghost of her hardboiled gumshoe father. <br />
<br />
Influence on Chris: None, again.<br />
<br />
===Episode 13===<br />
Review show. Excel and Hyatt compete in a game show-style contest assembling short films using recycled clips from the previous episodes. <br />
<br />
Influence on Chris: None. Good going, Chris.<br />
<br />
===Episodes 14 & 15===<br />
[[Image:Mom_am_pig.JPG|thumb|Excel responds to Chris after reading the Sonichu comics.]]<br />
<br />
Dr. Kabapu commissions the pederast cyberneticist Dr. Shioji to build Ropponmatsu, a female android to serve under the Department of City Security. Iwata immediately falls for the shapely robot, until she is destroyed while disarming an ACROSS bomb, and rebuilt as an obnoxious prepubescent girl. <br />
<br />
Escalating the conflict, ACROSS deploys a robot to deliver a second bomb, which battles the second Ropponmatsu to a standstill. Shioji delivers a reconstructed Model One Ropponmatsu to assist, but ultimately both are destroyed by the bomb... only to be rebuilt again.<br />
<br />
Influences on Chris: Ropponmatsu II may have inspired Zapina Rosechu in some way, but that would require corroboration.<br />
<br />
===Episode 16===<br />
Desperate for story ideas, the writers use both Ropponmatsus in the same story. By mistake, the rebuilt androids end up living with Excel and Hyatt, and imprint upon them to an almost romantic degree. After stealing food and money to support the ACROSS Agents, the Ropponmatsus eventually sacrifice themselves so that Hyatt and Excel can escape the wrath of the city police. <br />
<br />
*'''Ropponmatsu II's "death" scene''': This is played out as an over-the-top parody of sentimental self-sacrifice scenes in anime, and as Ropponmatsu II begins to break apart, a drop of fluid leaks from her eye socket like a tear, and is depicted as splashing into a darkened pool of water. This would be repeated in Episode 23 when Excel gets shot. Chris would imitate this in ''Sonichu'' #4, using blood instead of tears, and Chris's impotent rage instead of the sadness of loss. <br />
<br />
===Episode 17===<br />
"American Japanimation." Il Palazzo sends Excel and Hyatt to the United States on a reconnaissance mission. There, they meet Pedro's son Sandora, who dreams of becoming a rich and famous animator in Japan, where he believes cartoonists are highly respected. Sandora makes a living selling animation sheets of later successor ''Puni Puni Poemy'' to a suspicious-looking man, and is later horrified to discover that his artwork is being traded as bootleg anime cels. Excel rescues Sandora from the criminals by employing various "rules" of both American and Japanese animation.<br />
<br />
This was Chris's favorite episode.<br />
<br />
*'''Sailor Moon:''' Long before Chris met Megan and got into the ''Sailor Moon'' series itself, Chris had used ''Sailor Moon'' trademark poses and variants on her catchphrase for his alter ego, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. The Excel connection here is that Excel does the same routine in this episode, and a gunsel recognizes the reference, and notes that it's a really old cartoon. Compare to Chris's battle with Mary Lee Walsh in "Witch Confront", where Mary mocks Chris's poses and slogan as being "so old".<br />
<br />
===Episode 18===<br />
Kabapu forces his DCS team to wear the power suits of Municipal Force Daitenzin, and use them to battle injustice in the city. Furious at being trapped in the ''sentai'' costumes, the team agrees to just combat litterbugs, jaywalkers, and other minor scofflaws until the suits finally deactivate. Ironically, the awesome powers of the Daitenzin, coupled with their self-absorbed motives, cause far more damage to the city than any mere crime wave. <br />
<br />
*'''[[Bagget]], Jerkop Daitenzen (sic)''': Perhaps wanting a more powerful role for Bagget than a mere Jerkop, Chris put him in a brown Power Ranger suit and history was made in ''Sonichu'' #4. Strangely, Bagget never makes use of any of the Daitenzin's special attacks or weapons. <br />
<br />
*'''The boy and girl on the bench who look like a character from ''Battle Athletes'' and Ash Ketchum''': In ''Excel'', these two characters are attacked by one of the Daitenzin for public displays of affection, when in fact the girl was refusing the boy's advances. Chris used the girl in a similar scene in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]], only they were a more romantic couple, and it was the Jerkops who intervened. <br />
<br />
*'''Man and woman in coffee shop assaulted by Daitenzin''': In the original version, the couple were discussing when the man would leave his wife, as the woman was pregnant with their child. Chris sanitizes the moment into a "love confession" interrupted by a Jerkop, who punches out the man just as Sumiyoshi does in ''Excel''. <br />
<br />
===Episode 19===<br />
Animal anime again. Menchi ends up joining a young heiress on a journey around the world, but their trip is cut short by a common enemy. <br />
<br />
Influences on Chris: Chris said this was the episode with Key, but he's wrong. Way to suck, Chris. <br />
<br />
*'''Old Man Cyborg''': The punchline of this episode ends up being that the assassin determined to kill the heiress turns out to be the kindly old man who once took care of Menchi, before he turned evil and Menchi shot him in Episode 10. He returns here with a powerful robot body, eager to take revenge. While he doesn't look much like any of Chris's characters, the connection to [[Merried Seinor Comic]] is apparent, and this character may have inspired the other Manajerks Chris depicted as cyborgs. <br />
<br />
===Episode 20===<br />
Review show again. This episode recaps the Pedro subplot that's been going on since the show began. In short, Pedro learns that the author of all his miseries is a cosmic Yakuza-type known only as "That Man". Pedro is helpless against his awesome power, until Nabeshin unleashes the secret powers within both Pedro and his son Sandora. Now sporting afros of their own, Pedro and Sandora join Nabeshin to confront That Man, until he escapes with the Will of the Macrocosm. <br />
<br />
*'''Sub-Episodes:''' While the segments of the Pedro recap aren't titled this way, they are numbered independently of the episodes of the main series. This "saga within a saga" format probably inspired Chris to depict his own adventures as separate from Sonichu's. Also, combining Pedro's adventures into a single all-Pedro episode is probably how Chris decided to rehash his existing Sub-Episodes in ''Sonichu'' #4, with additional Sub-Episodes to provide some closure to the storyline. <br />
<br />
*'''Pedro in Limbo:''' The common theme of Pedro's adventures is that he has been mostly powerless against the forces that affect his life. As a ghost, he could only look on in horror as his family abandoned him, and strange cosmic forces manipulated him for sex and lulz. Similarly, Chris has been describing a similar experience for himself in the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comics since he got marooned in the time void. <br />
<br />
===Episode 21===<br />
Rock anime. Il Palazzo's superiors send him a message via Key, an oversexed rock musician who insists on delivering the message through song, yet refuses to sing until he feels the proper artistic inspiration. To that end, Excel and Hyatt attempt to cultivate Key's creativity, but Excel finds herself becoming attracted to Key's untamed sexuality. <br />
<br />
*'''Key''': Chris admitted that he adapted Key's revealing outfit to design the costume of his evil gay twin [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]]. The only significant differences are the change from red leather straps to green, and torn blue jeans in place of Key's ass-less chaps. Also, while Key merely displayed an ambiguous sexuality in keeping with his role as a bishonen rock hero, Naitsirhc is a hardcore gay guy, living out Chris's fantasy life of ejaculating whenever and wherever he pleases. <br />
<br />
===Episode 22===<br />
[[Image:Cwcexcel.jpg|thumb|By Dean Walsh's order! For the glory of Dean Walsh! BECAUSE DEAN WALSH DEMANDS!]]<br />
<br />
Koshi Rikdo grants permission for ACROSS to actually conquer the city. The matter becomes academic, however, when a Puuchu warlord leads an invasion force to Earth to avenge their past defeats. Excel joins forces with Puuchu rebels to defeat the invaders, but the city is destroyed when debris from the battle collides with the Earth. <br />
<br />
*'''Nabeshin as martial arts master:''' As the series approached the end, Nabeshin teamed up with Pedro and Sandora to battle That Man, and the three of them would go to a special training ground to hone their powers for the final battle. Based on this, Chris recast Nabeshin in ''Sonichu'' as G.D.W. Shinabe, a martial arts ''sensei'' who teaches his students how to edit film with karate chops. Shinabe would adopt [[Punchy Sonichu]] into his dojo.<br />
<br />
===Episode 23===<br />
Post-apocalyptic anime. Cut off from ACROSS, Excel wanders the ruins of what was once F Prefecture, defending the survivors from gangs and warlords. Horrified to learn that the villains are working for ACROSS, and that she has been targeted for execution, Excel confronts Il Palazzo to learn the truth. He shoots her in the chest without a word. <br />
<br />
*'''Time-delay attack:''' Mostly, this episode parodies ''Fist of the North Star'', which features a powerful fighter kicking ass in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Since Excel is in the role of the hero, she uses a variation of the anime's titular attack, which involves punching your opponent a billion times. The thing about the ''Fist of the North Star'' is that it takes three seconds to have any effect, after which the opponent explodes like a water balloon filled with blood, then becomes a pastiche of Dejiko from ''Digi Charat''. When dubious villains question the attack's power, the hero would famously reply "But you're already dead", right before they die. Chris adapted this idea when he first used the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha in ''Sonichu'' #0. The Jerkhief didn't feel a thing at first, and then his life began to unravel from the curse.<br />
<br />
===Episode 24===<br />
Koshi Rikdo strips the series of all gags. Excel is rescued by Municipal Force Daitenzin, but after recovering from the gunshot, she has amnesia. ACROSS has conquered the region, but Il Palazzo begins to teeter on the brink of madness. The only hope left for resistance is Kabapu's promise of a secret weapon, and Nabeshin, who sacrifices himself to defeat That Man, one of the Il Palazzo's superiors in ACROSS.<br />
<br />
Influences on Chris: Make your own "joke-free comedy" joke here. Seriously, though, Chris probably never stole anything from this episode because he couldn't wrap his brain around the irony. <br />
<br />
===Episode 25===<br />
As Kapabu and Municipal Force Daitenzin stage a desperate attack on ACROSS's mobile fortress, Excel sneaks into the base to confront Il Palazzo, whom she vaguely recalls as the key to regaining her memories. Il Palazzo makes short work of Kabapu's forces, but when Excel arrives and confronts his madness, he regains his sanity and they escape the fortress together as it explodes. Meanwhile, Pedro and Sandora discover That Man has survived, and defeat him for good with their ultimate attack, the ''Nabehameha'' Wave.<br />
*'''"One Shot is all we get!"''' This line is said in unison by both Pedro and That Man before they engage in their ''[[Dragon Ball Z|Dragon Ball]]'' style beam struggle. Chris blatantly stole it for his epic showdown with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], depicted in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]].<br />
*'''Nabehameha''': Obviously, a parody of the Kamehameha attack from ''Dragon Ball'', renamed for Nabeshin, who invented it and taught it to Pedro off-screen. While Chris had watched ''Dragon Ball Z'', it was undoubtedly the Nabehameha that gave him the bright idea to customize his own version of the Kamehameha and pretend it was original. Thus, the "Curseyehameha", which he later changed to "Shinyehameha". As Chris has diluted every other idea he stole from ''Excel Saga'', he does so again here, since he failed to utilize the part of the Nabehameha that was so awesome: the afro. <br />
*'''Those things always have weak knees!''': Kabapu uses a giant robot to attack ACROSS mobile fortress. When the defending troops counterattack, this is the strategy they offer. The way the idea is discussed, weak knees in giant robots may be some cliche in giant robot anime lore, but in any case, Chris stole the line for his battle against the [[Count Graduon]]'s Golem in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]].<br />
*'''"[[Honest content|Honest-to-Goodness]]":''' Near the end of the episode, Excel fights Il Palazzo's inner demons that are the reason behind his sudden outburst of megalomaniac actions. After punching them out, they fall back and take full control of him, and when they do so, Il Palazzo says ''"Now, I'm the honest-to-goodness Il Palazzo!".'' Judging by the climactic delivery of this line, it is very likely it got burned into Chris's subconscious, to end up being used every time he claims to be TRUE and HONEST; an example is his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Wikipedia page]], which starts with "The One, The Only, from his Own ''Honest-to-God'' Words".<br />
<br />
===Episode 26===<br />
Sort of a bonus episode full of material [[Honest Content|too graphic for Japanese TV]]. Cosette Sara from Episode 8 returns as the newest member of ACROSS, who somehow causes Excel and Hyatt to switch bodies. After a lot of nudity and violence, Nabeshin kills the rest of the ACROSS Six and Hyatt floods the world in blood. <br />
<br />
Influences on Chris: Chris was probably too busy fapping to anime noods to copy anything. The final scene is Nabeshin's wedding to some broad who kept trying to serve him soup throughout the series, and Chris probably plans to end ''Sonichu'' with [[Wedding Comic|his own wedding]], but Real Life has made this impossible.<br />
<br />
===''Puni Puni Poemy''===<br />
'''''[[Wikipedia:Puni Puni Poemy|Puni Puni Poemy]]''''' is something of an ''Excel Saga'' spinoff, starring Nabeshin's daughter Poemi Watanabe as she struggles to become a voice actress while fighting aliens with the assistance of the seven Aasu Sisters. The show's relation to ''Excel Saga'' is tenuous, with only Nabeshin and Kumi Kumi present (though a news anchor bears a resemblance to Koshi Rikdo), and some reused background music from the series. <br />
<br />
[[Image: GDW.jpg|thumb|200px|Unlike Chris, this man is a TRUE and HONEST great director.]]<br />
<br />
Influences on Chris: Chris has more than once referred to himself as "Great Director Chandler", shamelessly ripping off Nabeshin's declaration that he is the "Great Director Watanabe."<br />
}}<br />
<br />
{{collapsible<br />
|Gallery of plagiarism<br />
|<br />
<center><br />
<gallery><br />
Image:Beforebreakfast.jpg|Compare this...<br />
Image:Sonichustrip1.jpg|to ''this''<br />
Image:Fqx.jpg|Chris would steal this logo, only without the searchlights, or the font, or anything else, really.<br />
Image:graveyard.jpg|This is probably the only reason Chris considers the mall an ideal dating locale, instead of sitting in a cemetery all day.<br />
Image:Coffeeshop.jpg|Actually, the coffee shop was [[Hanna]]'s idea, although Chris probably would have suggested it himself, based on this.<br />
Image:Putitin4.jpg|Chris always picks option 3<br />
Image:Stalkher.jpg|Option 1 is [[Megan|fine too]]. <br />
Image:Putitin2.jpg|Chris's SOP for how to interact with women.<br />
Image:Red-string.jpg|"I have a NEW idea that I am sure will [[Fail|REEL]] in a girlfriend on a FATEFUL [[Red String of Fate|RED STRING]]."<br />
Image:Nabeshin1.jpg|Character Chris identifies with.<br />
Image:Sumiyoshi.jpg|Character Chris should identify with.<br />
Image:Excel-julay.jpg|JULAAAAYYYY!<br />
Image:Pedro1.jpg|Compare this...<br />
Image:RainbowChris.jpg|to ''this''<br />
Image:scotpalazzo1.jpg|Better One?<br />
Image:ilpalazzo.jpg|Or better Two?<br />
Image:drool1.jpg|Typical reaction to reading ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''<br />
Image: drool2.jpg|The Jerkop version<br />
Image: Chris3days.jpg|Only three days...<br />
Image: only3days.jpg|... since I skipped my last deadline.<br />
Image: Title.JPG|The title is ''Excel Saga''!<br />
Image: Title2.JPG|...or maybe it's ''Sonichu''... I can't remember.<br />
Image: Hail.jpg|When you see it...<br />
Image: Hailwrodents.jpg|...you'll have numerous pairs of [[Dirty_crapped_briefs|dirty, crapped briefs]]<br />
Image: Bystanders.jpg|Even lazy shortcuts like this aren't original.<br />
Image: Bystanders2.jpg|See?<br />
Image: Pedro2.jpg|Pedro in Limbo<br />
Image: Timevoid.jpg|Chris in the [[Time Void]]<br />
Image: Bowling1.jpg|I'm not the same person I was just a moment ago...<br />
Image: Saltier.jpg|I'm much, much saltier!<br />
Image: Bowling.jpg|Chris defeats the bad guys with bowling power.<br />
Image: Bowling2.jpg|And the original version.<br />
Image: Rikdo-shit.jpg|Stereotypical depiction of a manga artist's room. <br />
Image: More-rikdo-shit.jpg|Possible inspiration for Chris's interior decoration.<br />
Image:0825-EP12-5P6-8.jpg|Compare to Chris's room.<br />
Image:0821-EP12-5P6-5.jpg|The eerie similarities.<br />
Image: Simonla-notes.jpg|Chris's useless character notes.<br />
Image: Matsuya-notes.jpg|And their possible inspiration.<br />
Image: BloodTear.jpg|The Passion of...<br />
Image: Exceltear.jpg|...the Chris?<br />
Image:SoneePuchuu.jpg|They're so cute!<br />
File:Shock.PNG|SHOCK<br />
</gallery><br />
</center><br />
}}<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references/><br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Parody]]<br />
*[[Anime]]<br />
*[[Saga]]<br />
==External links==<br />
*[[Wikipedia:Excel Saga|''Excel Saga'']] on [[Wikipedia]]<br />
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]<br />
[[Category:Television shows]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Rosechu&diff=153840
Rosechu
2011-12-05T06:43:25Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>:''This article is about the character. For the general species of female OCs, see [[Rosechu (species)]].''<br />
<br />
{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
<br />
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"<br />
|-<br />
! colspan="2" | [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] character<br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Rosechu Original.jpg|200px]]<br />
|-<br />
! colspan="2" |Rosechu<br />
|-<br />
| '''Date of birth'''<br />
| 22 December 1988 (in universe)<br />
22 December 2000 (IRL)<br />
|-<br />
| '''Gender'''<br />
| Female ([[Rosechu#Intersex|disputed]])<br />
|-<br />
| '''Length'''<br />
| 4'8" (142 cm)<br />
|-<br />
| '''Weight'''<br />
| 90 lbs (47 kg)<br />
|-<br />
| '''Parents'''<br />
| [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris]], [[Kel]]<br />
|-<br />
| '''Species'''<br />
| [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]] ([[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]])<br />
|-<br />
| '''Type'''<br />
| Electric<br />
|-<br />
| '''Evolves from'''<br />
| [[Rosey]] or [[Raichu]]<br />
|-<br />
| '''Evolves into'''<br />
| [[Vamprosa]] or [[The Incredible Lioness]]<br />
|-<br />
|}<br />
<br />
'''Rosechu''' (pronounced "rose'chu" ([ˈroːztʃu]) in canon;<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Rosechu Rosechu's CWCipedia Page]</ref> ro'-za-chu ([ˈrozətʃu]) in the [[Audiobooks]]) is the second [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] created by [[Christian Weston Chandler|Christian]], and the girlfriend-turned-wife of [[Sonichu]]. <br />
<br />
As the primary female character in the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' universe, she represents Chris's ideal woman. Rosechu's interests include kissing Sonichu, shopping, gossiping, sucking Sonichu's [[pickle]], posting nude photos of herself to the [[Internet]] to uphold her reputation, and stripping for [[Women's rights]]. Chris will occasionally have Rosechu refer to him as "father" (or more likely "papa"), just like [[Sonichu]], implying the two are caught up in an [[Chris and sex#Incest|incestuous affair]]. <br />
<br />
Rosechu is extremely defensive about rumors that she has a [[pickles|penis]].<br />
<br />
==Development==<br />
<br />
{{quote|Pink Electric Hedgehog Pokemon. The original cutie. She is Sonichu’s girlfriend. Even though she can’t run as fast as Sonichu, she still can zap up some power when in danger.|Rosechu's background, [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews2.htm ''Sonichu's News Dash'' #2]}}<br />
<br />
Christian's primary interests are [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], [[Pokémon]], and scoring [[pickle|pussy]]. Having first created [[Sonichu]], he would inevitably have to turn to fashioning a girlfriend for his creation, based predominantly on [[Amy Rose]], with minor elements from [[Raichu]] added. Whereas the Sonic/Amy relationship is deliberately one-sided to create some drama and comedy, Christian prides himself on the fact that Sonichu and Rosechu have absolutely no sexual tension or any complications in their romance at all.<br />
<br />
Intentionally or not, the entire Sonichu/Rosechu relationship serves as Christian's model for how he presumes he will interact with his eventual sweetheart. Sonichu's attraction to Rosechu is based entirely on a single wayward glance. He makes no effort to win her affection, and indeed he does not need to as Rosechu falls for him simply because he exists. They are rarely out of one another's sight, and all of their time together is spent kissing, snuggling or screwing. Christian does not depict Rosechu as an unequal partner in the relationship, but since she has almost no purpose or existence outside of her association with Sonichu, the character essentially becomes an [[Kimmi|object]] for Sonichu to periodically [[Semen|come]] inside.<br />
<br />
As [[trolls]] discovered Chris's weak spot for fan art of Rosechu with a penis, Christian responded with increasing attempts to prove Rosechu's femininity, drawing her less like the cartoonish Amy Rose and with greater attention to her breasts, hips, legs, underwear and cameltoe. This drive to assert Rosechu's sexuality, along with Chris's inevitable sexual attraction to his own character, probably contributed to Rosechu's increasing prominence in the comics. [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is almost entirely about her, to the point of Rosechu demonstrating powers far superior to her boyfriend.<br />
<br />
Chris developed a biography page for Rosechu and revealed that he had created her on 22 December [[2000]], over nine months after creating Sonichu. Nowhere on there is there any mention of him using [[Amy Rose]] as a base. It should also be noted that this was done pretty much under force, as Rosechu (one of the comic's main characters) did not have a page until [[February 2010]], while [[Simonla]], a rather minor character, had one back in [[December 2009]].<br />
<br />
==Early life==<br />
<br />
In the [[CWCipedia]] article for Rosechu, Chris gives a rambling, pointless backstory for Rosechu. According to Chris, Rosechu was raised by her parents: a female [[Wikipedia:Raichu|Raichu]] and a male Luxray. The [[Wikipedia:Luxray|Luxray]] hunts and does other manly things, while the Raichu stays home and [[Women's Rights|cooks dinner]]. Chris gives the small group a family dynamic similar to that of humans, though such a setup is rare and, perhaps even ridiculous in the [[Pokémon]] franchise. While still a [[Wikipedia:Pichu|Pichu]], she was captured by a trainer (Chris even says which Pokémon the trainer uses and what attack it performs in order to capture her, as if anyone gave a shit), traumatizing her greatly with the separation from her family (though unlike [[Wild Sonichu]], she doesn't even express any kind of minimal regret at the loss of her only loved ones later in life).<br />
<br />
The Pichu was taken in by [[Wikipedia:Professor Oak|Professor Oak]], a character from the first-generation Pokémon games, and given to [[Kel|Kellie Felix]] as a consolation for not having arrived in time to receive one of the traditional starters. This plot point is stolen directly from the Pokémon anime, which started the same way.<br />
<br />
More bullshit happens that no one cares about, mostly dealing with [[Kel]] gathering a full team of Pokémon. Oddly, every one of her Pokémon has a name ("David," "Ashley", etc.) but the Pichu is not given one. The Pichu that would become Rosechu evolves into a Pikachu at one point, and at level 50 Kel uses a Thunder Stone to force it to evolve into a [[Wikipedia:Raichu|Raichu]].<br />
<br />
==Sexism==<br />
<br />
{{quote|She is not just a sex object; she is an individual with her own feelings, aspirations and opinions.|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#The incredible vanishing email|explaining how he sees Rosechu as a sex object]]}}<br />
[[File:Rosechuadventure.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Is there ''anything'' that Chris hasn't copied?]]<br />
Since Chris knows virtually nothing about actual women, he has no frame of reference for Rosechu's characterization, beyond qualities that make her a perfect mate in his eyes. Beyond her relationship with Sonichu and her defiance of [[4-cent garbage.com]], Chris can only have Rosechu do stereotypical female activities. She enjoys "shopping" for no other reason than Chris having deemed this as a compulsory feminine quality, as well as having long "girly chats" that can last for hours — as seen with her interaction with Amy Rose. Despite all of the shopping she does, she always wears the same outfit in public (when she isn't making porn for women's rights).<br />
<br />
Her only other hobbies seem to include lounging in fields of flowers, and getting kidnapped and constantly needing her man Sonichu to save her.<br />
<br />
Also worth noting is that, unlike Sonichu, Rosechu didn't fall in love at first glance. According to the [[CWCipedia]], Rosechu only fell in love with Sonichu right after he asked her to get him something to eat. [[Women's right|Subtle]].<br />
<br />
Despite being slower than her counterpart,<ref>"[[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu]]"</ref> and rarely showing any usefulness or fighting prowess (merely twice at last count), Chris claims that Rosechu is equal to her heartsweet in every way; she's just always caught off-guard, is all.<ref>[[Common Questions#30_January_2010]]</ref><br />
<br />
It is notable that her nickname is the '''exact same''' as the [[Rosey|baby form]] of her species, in what is totally [[lie|not]] an infantilization of her character. To Chris's credit, she probably had the nickname before Chris came up with the Sonee/Rosey idea. Also, this could simply be an emulation of the common term of endearment ''"baby"'' normal people use.<br />
<br />
==Intersex==<br />
<br />
[[Image:TheTailofRosechu.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's edited "proof" of Rosechu's sex]]<br />
[[Image:TheREALTailofRosechu.jpg|thumb|The unedited page tells a different story]]<br />
<br />
On 12 January 2010, Chris received [[Mailbag 39#Rosechu the transwoman|a letter from a fan]] complimenting his portrayal of Rosechu as a [[Wikipedia:Transwoman|transwoman]]. The [[Raichu]] which would become Rosechu had a defined pointed tip on its tail, which, as of the fourth generation of the ''Pokémon'' video game series, is characteristic of the male of the species (whereas the females have a flattened tail tip). Rather than explaining that he had created the character before this sexual characteristic existed in the game art, Chris's reaction was to freak out in CAPSLOCK and [[12 January 2010#Part 2|scream into his camera]]. This intense reaction, of course, meant that the trolls had found yet another one of Chris's hot-buttons.<br />
<br />
Chris received [[Mailbag 42#It was just a girl that had all the physical characteristics of a boy|two]] [[Mailbag 44#On Rosechu's man-parts|more]] letters about Rosechu's transgendered nature before taking further action. He threw together a poorly photoshopped collage, declaring that it proved beyond the shadow of a doubt that Rosechu was female. Unfortunately for Chris, the page in the archives remained unedited. This was pointed out in [[Mailbag 45]], one mailer pointed out the real page unedited. Chris responded to the serious accusation of lying to his fans the only way he knew: by deleting the letter.<br />
<br />
Whether the Raichu in question had a pointed tail (male), or a dented tail (female), it's all pointless seeing that Rosechu's tail is that of a male's. Chris finally used the obvious defense that the gender differences didn't exist when he drew the page in [[Mailbag 51#Apologizing deeply|Mailbag 51]], when a patient fan explained he should have done that all along.<br />
<br />
When Chris created the Rosechu biography page, he mentions that Rosechu had a blunt tail as a Raichu (despite the earlier pictures) and that it became pointed because of her transformation.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Marriage==<br />
<br />
[[Image:AfterTheHoneyMoon.jpg|thumb|Rosechu's marriage with Sonichu hasn't been as idyllic as she always imagined...]]<br />
<br />
Rosechu married Sonichu in a top secret ceremony at Samuel Memorial United Christian Church on March 17, 2006.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today CWCipedia article on Sonichu]</ref> Despite living and sleeping together openly, the two lovebirds saw fit to keep their union out of the spotlight by wearing their rings under their gloves. Rosechu quickly set to work fulfilling her sole creator-given biological function (aside from designated sperm-dumpster) as a [[Sonee and Rosey]] factory. As of 2009, the couple have [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|three hidden children]], abandoned to their put-upon yet attractive [[Heather Iglesias|Hispanic lesbian nanny]], presumably so the grown-ups can continue their important day-jobs of appearing to not be married with children in Chris's comics.<br />
<br />
Rosechu "volunteered on her own sound decision to have her tubes tied,"<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#4-Cent_Garbage CWCipedia article on Sonichu]</ref> which Chris believe is a reversible procedure (it is generally permanent; reversal attempts have varying levels of success). Rosechu does this despite the fact that it would presumably be easier for Sonichu to get a [[Wikipedia:vasectomy|vasectomy]] and much easier for Sonichu just to wear a damn condom, as both characters have espoused in fake PSAs within the comic. The fact that being sterilized is Rosechu's responsibility rather than her husband's illustrates Chris's [[women's rights|self-centered views on masculinity, responsibility, and the woman's role in a marriage]].<br />
<br />
==Religion==<br />
<br />
She appears to hold [[Chris and religion|Christian beliefs]], reminding Sonichu that instead of [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|using violence]] or [[CWC is Angry|getting angry]] with his foes, he should remember the story of Joseph and "forgive".<br />
<br />
Rosechu quickly forgets this lesson, attacking workers in a building only minutes later for daring to imply that she might not be a female. Not very forgiving yourself, are we, Rosechu?<br />
<br />
She also commits attempted murder shortly afterward, savagely assaulting [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] not only for the crime of creating a [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|satire website]] about her creator - but for throwing a pickle at her. At this point, Joseph's story of Forgiveness goes straight out the window. Proving her [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]] yet again, Rosechu transforms into [[The Incredible Lioness]], face-rapes Jason and tears his scalp open before electrocuting his head, leaving him convulsing in a pool of blood.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_46 Sonichu 8]</ref><br />
<br />
==Campaigner==<br />
<br />
Despite the sexism evident, Rosechu is a long-term campaigner for [[Women's rights]].<br />
<br />
Rosechu has also been known to complain about the "dumb" child pornography laws,<ref>[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]</ref> voicing Chris's not-so-subtle wish that they be overturned so [[pedofork|he can do fifteen year olds]].<br />
<br />
Rosechu, the perfect role model for Chris-chan's young female audience.<br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
<center><br />
<gallery><br />
Image:229-ACRchu.jpg<br />
Image:230-ACRchuBck.jpg<br />
Image:234-RchuCard1.jpg<br />
Image:235-RchuCard2.jpg<br />
Image:236-RchuCard3.jpg<br />
Image:237-YuRosechu.jpg<br />
Image:239-RchuWink.jpg<br />
Image:241-DolledRchu.jpg<br />
Image:242-RosechuStyle.jpg<br />
Image:512-RosechuAtPacSun.JPG|Originally believed to be [[DJ Jamsta]], it turns out this is Rosechu.<br />
Image:A_pickle.jpg|NOT PHOTOSHOPPED!<br />
Image:238-RosechuPose.jpg<br />
Image:RosechuTheIncredibleLioness.jpg|[[The Incredible Lioness|Rosechu's final form]], campaigning for [[women's rights]] with facerape.<br />
Image:Modnation Rosechu.jpg|''[[ModNation Racers]]''<br />
Image:ECP 00077.jpg|They've fused!<br />
</gallery><br />
</center><br />
<br />
== Sources ==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
<br />
{{Fan art}}<br />
{{CWCipedia}}<br />
<br />
*[[Vamprosa]]<br />
*[[The Incredible Lioness]]<br />
*[[Rosechu (species)]]<br />
*[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]]<br />
*[[CWCville#Zapbud|Zapbud]], a flower Rosechu lieks.<br />
*[[Pickle]], a vegetable Rosechu is [[Silvana|implied to have]].<br />
<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]<br />
[[Category:Rosechus]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Ivy&diff=153839
Ivy
2011-12-05T06:42:52Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{quote|♪She's gotta be true, she's gotta be pretty, and she's got to be the sweetest thing in liiiiffe, and her name be Ivvyyyyy~♪|[[CWC]]|<ref>[[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero]]</ref>}}<br />
[[Image:Ivy.png|thumb|Self portrait.]]<br />
<br />
'''Ivy O'Neil''' (17 March 1992 – July 2009) was [[Chris]]'s [[sweetheart]] from [[March 2009|March]] through [[May 2009|May]] of 2009.<br />
<br />
==Prologue==<br />
Something about Ivy brought out the crazy in Chris at levels rarely seen before or since. The Ivy Saga resulted in three ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Specials]]'', four music videos, a bunch of weird and creepy non-music videos (including the notorious [[April 16 Fetish Vids|orange soda]] video), a long awaited [[Tour of Christian's House|tour of his house]], a new [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys album]], procuring [[CWC is Angry|The Lost Video]], the emergence of [[Joshua Martinez]] and [[Rocky Shoemaker]] as troll obstacles, images of the new [[Medallion of Fail]] while he's wearing [[butt garments]], and unexpected changes in Chris's behavior. <br />
<br />
Ivy is a redhead. Chris lowered his standards slightly by allowing her to become a sweetheart (previously, women with red hair were excluded along with blacks and non-[[boyfriend-free girl]]s).<br />
<br />
==Timeline==<br />
===March===<br />
[[Image:Message_For_Ivy.jpg|thumb|The stuff of nightmares.]]<br />
<br />
In his Captain's Log of [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 18th, 2009|18 March]], Chris gave a shout out to "Ahmy-vie" and her friend Rachel. This was right at the height of the [[Emily]] fiasco&mdash;between the day Chris stood her up and the day the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] stole her away&mdash;so "Ivy" and "Rachel" were assumed by many [[trolls|observers]] to be code names for Emily and her friend Stephanie. Not even the most hardened of trolls could be ready for the creepiness unleashed [[CWC's Message for Ivy|two days later]] on the heels of the Emily date.<br />
<br />
{{quote|I'll be in your dreams!|CWC|<ref>[[CWC%27s_Message_for_Ivy#Video]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
:''See Also: [[Sonichu Special 1]]''<br />
[[Image:CWCVictoryForIvy.jpg|thumb|Fresh from the shop!]]<br />
Ivy was in the driver's seat now, and proved to be a muse like no other. Chris responded with some of his most complex work to date, [[Sonichu Special 1]] and its accompanying music video, [[CWC_Music_Video_Holding_Out_For_a_Hero|CWC Holding Out For A Hero]].<br />
<br />
{{quote|♪She's gotta be strong, she's gotta be pure and she's got to be fresh from the shop~♪|CWC|<ref>[[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
For the rest of March, Chris was a prolific video blogger. Even while pressed on another front by his [[Clyde Cash|arch-nemesis]], Chris managed to make time to double down on his [[Chris Sings Lovin' You|creepy video messages]] and make a positive difference in the life of Ivy's [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|insecure cousin, Flora]].<br />
<br />
Things were moving quickly, but of course a classy college girl like Ivy wasn't going to arrange a sleepover at the Chandlers' site-unseen. Her next request&mdash;[[Tour_of_Chris%27s_House|a tour of the property]]&mdash;ignited a slow-forming, but [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|ultimately epic]] shit storm. <br />
<br />
===April===<br />
:''See Also: [[Vanessa Saga]]''<br />
<br />
As April dawned, [[Rocky Shoemaker]] very nearly pulled the Chandlers, kicking and screaming, out of their vortex of stupidity. Luckily for her, Ivy had already passed all of the Chandlers' tests for TRUTH and HONESTY<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>, and so was spared most of the (brief) fallout. But even as one crisis passed another emerged, when [[Joshua Martinez|a mutual friend]] introduced Chris to [[Vanessa Hudgens]]. Juggling '''two''' needy imaginary girlfriends would [[Blanca_Emails,_September_2008#Sarah_Jackson_love_triangle|once again]] prove challenging for one merely-mortal autistic boy.<br />
<br />
[[Image:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|WHY]]<br />
:''See Also: [[April 16 Fetish Vids]]''<br />
With inspiration from Ivy, Chris got a new [[cwcville.com]] up, and made progress on [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]]. The world's first-ever YouTube videos intended for [[Crass and Champ|crabs]] were made. The [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)|Hedgehog Boys]] got back together and [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|hit the road again]]. And then shit got real: mid-month, Ivy found out about Chris's two-timing ways. The punishment was revolting, to say the least. After his humiliating penance, Chris was given a second chance...<br />
<br />
:''See Also: [[Sonichu Special 2]]<br />
...to plan a kickass wedding! The result was another ''Sonichu Special,'' complete with an accompanying video, [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"]]. And you can't have a wedding without...<br />
<br />
:''See Also: [[Sonichu Special 3]]<br />
...a honeymoon! The leaking of the infamous [[Giant Penis Comic]], however, would mean April ends on a decidedly low note. Chris had to make an explanation video to ease the mind of a traumatized [[Ching Chong]], and had to confess to all of [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions|his crimes]]; of course, the dastardly trolls pounced on every word.<br />
<br />
{{quote|Ivy is real! We are going to be together! Foreverrr!|CWC|<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
===May===<br />
Throughout the Chandlers' trials and tribulations, one gal-pal had remained TRUE and HONEST. A Chandler family vacation up to Boston, to visit Ivy<ref>Ivy Q&A</ref><ref>For My Sweetest Ivy</ref>, was in the works. But meddlers gonna meddle: in a fit of righteousness, Rocky brought the Chandlers to the police to sort out the trolls once and for all. Despite their protests, Ivy was on the same list as Clyde Cash and the other villains.<br />
<br />
And despite their protests, Ivy blamed Chris for betraying her.<br />
<br />
On the night of 14 [[May 2009|May]], the following was written on Chris's [[ED]] talk page:<br />
<br />
{{quote|I have learned that there was a connection between her and a state in Washington where some of you have been lurking, and that she was not found in any public records. It took me a week to recover from the crestfallen emotions, but I am moving on with my life.|CWC|<ref>[[List_of_Christian%27s_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
===July===<br />
[[Image:IvysDeath.png|thumb|An artist's depiction of Ivy's untimely death.]]<br />
"Ivy" committed suicide by hanging in July 2009 "from being restricted from Communication, as well as coming to visit me" according to Chris. He tastelessly uploaded [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] as a belated memorial.<br />
<br />
==Epilogue==<br />
In November 2009, he [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_92 described Ivy's death in a giant wall of text] in [[Sonichu 9|the comic]]. During the PVCC's assault on CWCville, she was apparently trapped in a collapsing elevator, got the cables tangled around her neck, and was strangled to death despite [[BILLY MAYS]]'s best efforts to save her. The page laying all of this out carries a brief dedication: "In memory of [[Sonichu Girls|Sonichu-Girl]], **Ivy O'Niel**".<br />
<br />
On 19 [[April 2010]], Chris updated the [[CWCipedia]] with a [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|page]] containing various profiles of his "[[gal-pal]]s and past sweethearts." Among them was a brief and somewhat ambivalent mention of Ivy:<br />
<br />
{{quote|Another online romance, but better... with Telephone Conversations. Ivy and I were entwined within our relationship for about 3 months; it was good. Then later on, when I was talking to a detective on the case of finding my Trolls and seeing justice done unto them, he looked into Ivy and her family; found NOTHING on them, even her father who was a Police Officer. Then in a mental quandary and confusion, I stopped talking to Ivy for a few months. She called me one last time after the time; I still felt confused. Then I hear from Vivian that Ivy committed suicide by hanging.|CWC<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
===Art By Ivy===<br />
<center><gallery><br />
Image:Ivy.png<br />
Image:Ivy Jammies.jpg<br />
Image:IvysRosechu.jpg|Rosechu<br />
Image:IvysBubbles to Blake.jpg|[[Bubbles Rosechu]]<br />
Image:Layla.jpg|Luckette (a.k.a. [[Layla Flaaffy]])<br />
Image:Princessivy.png|Princess Ivy, Ivy's fursona.<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
===Art Of Ivy===<br />
<center><gallery><br />
Image:IvyWedding.jpg<br />
Image:IvyRing.jpg|IT'S ALL COMING BACK TO ME...<br />
Image:CWCsIvyKiss.jpg|"FUCK IT'S [[Episode 2|EPISODE 2]] ALL OVER AGAIN FUCKKKKK" - [[Vivian Gee]] <ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dB6c5txd8ro#t=2m32s Sonichu - Special Episode 1! The Audiobook! Clyde VS Chris!]</ref><br />
Image:350meko.jpg|Rape is imminent. On a more serious note: Chris fails at pantyshots.<br />
Image:CWCsClyde.jpg|OH SHI-! Ivy has been kidnapped by Clyde! IS CHRIS A BAD ENOUGH DUDE TO RESCUE HER?<br />
Image:CWCRescuesIvy.jpg<br />
Image:Cwc&ivy34.jpg|Rule 34 even applies to Chris's heartsweets. <br />
Image:IvyBondage.jpg|Bondage: YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!<br />
Image:CWC,Ivy,fursona.jpg|Chris-chan Sonichu and Princess Ivy together.<br />
Image:SchuComic9P92.jpg|Our heroes mourn Ivy's death, or something like that.<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
===Miscellaneous=== <br />
<center><gallery><br />
Image:Ivy.jpg<br />
Image:Ivypickle.jpg<br />
Image:Dearest Ivy by Chimerica.jpg<br />
Image:RBIvy.jpg<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Ivy Q%26A]]<br />
*[[Vanessa Saga]]<br />
*''[[Soul Calibur]]''<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{Sweethearts}}<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:O'Neil, Ivy}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Dead]]<br />
[[Category:Sweethearts]]<br />
[[Category:Trolls]]<br />
[[Category: Ivy Saga]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sonichu%27s_News_Dash&diff=153838
Sonichu's News Dash
2011-12-05T06:42:13Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
[[Image:199-newsdsh.jpg|thumb|300px|[[Audiobooks|LOOK AT THAT FACE GOD DAMN]]]]<br />
<br />
{{quote|Well, it’s the end of another month, and I still don’t have a [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]]. Maybe my latest idea, the [[Sonichu]]’s News Dash! newsletter, will make the ladies take notice of me.|Chris, believing your own newsletter will attract women, 31 January 2004}}<br />
<br />
'''''Sonichu's News Dash!''''' was a newsletter distributed by Chris from [[2004]]-[[2005|05]]. In the finest tradition of fringe kooks, conspiracy theorists, survivalist tree-dwellers and religious oddballs the world over, [[Chris]] once decided that printing up a newsletter would be the best way to attract [[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free girls]]. ''Sonichu's News Dash!'' often contained [[poetry]], [[Dating education|dating advice]] (oh, the irony), and details on Chris's life and personal interests. It would always end with his description of his requirements for a [[sweetheart]], similar to what was printed on his [[Attraction Sign]].<br />
<br />
Chris was scolded by [[Mary Lee Walsh]] for passing out physical copies around the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] campus, which led him to bear a grudge against her for years afterward.<br />
<br />
==The ''News Dash!'' Incident, in Chris's own words==<br />
{{quote|Mary Lee Walsh made it illegal to distribute the News Dash; I AM [[Chris and anger|VERY ANGRY]] AT THAT XXXXX! In response, Iplan to incite the [[True and Loyal Fanbase|masses]], and hope they DEMAND the return the News Dash so my chances on [[love quest|getting a girlfriend]] can be restored. I have also declared WAR on them as well!|Chris, greatly overestimating his own power<ref>[[Other]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
==Highlights from the newsletter==<br />
The ''News Dash!'' is a valuable source of information from the pre-trolling days, back when Chris was still stalking women in public places. Here are some tidbits from the ''News Dash!'':<br />
<br />
===[[Sweetheart]] qualifications===<br />
As the newsletter was primarily a platform to promote himself to women, every issue ended with this description of his ideal sweetheart:<br />
<br />
=====Issues 1 & 2 =====<br />
{{quotebox|Christian W. Chandler is 21 (22 as of [[2004#February|February 24, 2004]]) and single seeking a Single Female Companion of the following qualities:<br />
<br />
*18-21 years of age (18-22 as of February 24, 2004). *[[Boyfriend-free girl|Does not already have a boyfriend]]. *Single. *Blonde or Brunette *[[Obesity|Average or Slender body type]]. *Does NOT [[tobacky|smoke]] and/or drink [[alcohol]]. *5’ or taller. *Lives in [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]] or [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]] area. *[[Chris and race|White]]. *[[Chris and money|Average to High income]]. *Drives a [[Son-Chu|vehicle]]. *Happy, [[Death threats|Positive Personality]]. *A [[Mom|Caring girl]].<br />
<br />
*Christian is a very shy, and very thoughtful, person, and will only accept person-to-person encounters (No [[E-Mails]] or [[Prank calls|Phone Calls]]). So if you are interested, he can be found around [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], or [[Fashion Square Shopping Center]]. When getting his attention, approach and say hi to him. Do NOT flirt from a distance; [[autism|he will not be able to notice]]. To find Christian, he’ll be wearing the [[Medallions of Fail|Sonichu Medallion]].}}<br />
<br />
====Issue 3 & 4====<br />
{{quotebox|Christian W. Chandler is 22 and single seeking a Single Female Companion of the following qualities:<br />
*18-22 years of age. *Does not already have a boyfriend. *Single. *Blonde or Brunette *[[Obesity|Average or Slender body type]]. *Does NOT [[tobacky|smoke]] and/or drink [[alcohol]]. *5’ or taller. *Lives in [[Charlottesville]] or [[Ruckersville]] area. *[[Chris and race|White]]. *[[Chris and money|Average to High income]]. *Drives [[Son-Chu|a vehicle]]. *Happy, Positive Personality. *A Caring girl.<br />
*Christian is a very shy, and very thoughtful, person, and will only accept person-to-person encounters (No E-Mails or Phone Calls). So if you are interested, he can be found around [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], or [[Fashion Square Shopping Center]]. When getting his attention, approach and say hi to him. Do NOT flirt from a distance; he will not be able to notice. To find Christian, he’ll be wearing the Sonichu Medallion. }}<br />
<br />
====Issue 5-10====<br />
''Same as Issues 3 and 4, but with a link to his [[Match.com]] profile.''<br />
<br />
===On the hiatus of the ''News Dash!''===<br />
{{quotebox|We here at Sonichu’s News Dash apologize for not writing up issues during the summer months, but the head chief of staff, Christian Weston Chandler, was in a Very Lonesome slump. And he was recently Soul and [[Heart level|Heart-Shattered]] by a bunch of [[Jerk Cops]] at the Fashion Square shopping center, and by the female dog, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], at Piedmont Virginia Community College. These people did not agree with his sound methods of attracting an 18-(his current age) Boyfriend-Free woman. But after a stroll through the lovely and serene campus at the [[University of Virginia]], he regained some peace within himself. And so, while he is still journeying through his [[Love Quest]], the News Dash will run Bi-Monthly, but with more general articles of interest. Thank you for your patience.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews5.htm Sonichu's News Dash #5]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
===A Very Special Holiday Chris-chan===<br />
{{quotebox|The Christmas season is upon us, and with that comes the rush for the [[C-Mas]] Turkey, Tree (real or artificial), and of course, the presents. So, [[Sonichu]] and the News Dash have some helpful tips to give a better feel of the season to all.<br />
<br />
• If your children, or spouse, want some [[video games]], but no [[toys]], buy some toys anyway, they will be surprised. We recommend any of [[Lego]] sets, [[Transformers]] and [[Kimmi|Dolls]].<br><br />
• Wrap the presents anyway, because they always want to rip up the wrapping paper like a candy bar.<br><br />
• Always remember that Christmas is the celebration of family, so [[Cole Smithey|never leave out any relatives]] from your festivities.<br><br />
• If you do not have a family, then find a friend to share C-Mas with <ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/sonichu/SchusNews6.htm</ref>. }}<br />
<br><br />
{{quotebox|While all have families, so does he. While all men have Girlfriends, this man does not, and he is very depressed about it. “Since Agust, [[2003]],” Christian Weston Chandler said, “I’ve been trying to attract a Boyfriend-Free, 18-22-year old girl.” His methods were sound and well-thought; [[Attraction sign|simple signs]], [[Chris and fashion|looking cool]], and “chilling” in [[List of places that have banned Chris|the most social places]]. His one fault, that has restricted him from finding the Ms. Right, he had a major case of [[Noviophobia]], where he is afraid to even approach most ladies, because he thought that they were all already paired up with “[[JERKS|A Jerk]].” His thoughts are sound as the [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|Boyfriend Factor]] is so high, it leaves him with no pretty ladies to choose from. So, if there are any pretty ladies without a…Boyfriend, you can find this lonesome [[CWC "Boyfriend"|prince]] hanging at the [[Fashion Square mall]] Saturday afternoons, in front of Ambercrombie & Fitch. Don’t let his friendly smile fool you; he is hurting inside. Please help Chris have a Happy Holiday.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews6.htm</ref>}} <br />
<br><br />
{{quotebox|[[Mary Lee Walsh|Hslaw Eel Yram]], who previously shattered hearts and souls, is handing out presents at [[CWCville|Cwcville’s]] Christmas Tree lighting? Odd, but true, and when interviewed, she had this to say, “After three months in prison, I became rehabilitated and more happy to give joy to those I’ve hurt.” Then we asked her about her oldest victim, Christian Chandler, she said, “I plan to give him a surprise on Christmas Eve, a heart-felt apology.” Well, I guess we’ll see if she will be true to her word on the night before Christmas.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews6.htm</ref>}}<br />
<br />
===Prelude to [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]===<br />
{{quotebox|[[Sonichu]]'s father, [[Christian Chandler]], is working on a [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic book]]. It will be hand-drawn, as [[Asperchu|most comics]] are. And it will feature “Sonichu’s Origin,” the “Genesis of the Lovehogs,” and “Sonichu’s First Big Battle.” It will also include exclusive introductory content into Chris’s world, as well as Sonichu’s world. Chris said that his target date is before [[2005#June|June, 2005]], the month of the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] Convention in Richmond, VA; he plans to be there. So, if you’ve been a Sonichu fan up to then, come find him at the convention, and he will be happy to share the hand-drawn stories of Sonichu!<br />
<br />
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Sonichu cover provided by Author, Christian Weston Chandler.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews6.htm</ref>}}<br />
<br />
===Chris's dating tips===<br />
{{quote|Most importantly, DO NOT RUSH Her. You do not want her to feel pressured into a relationship, because then she’ll dump you faster than Sonichu running a mile. Give her time; it’s not like you all are going to get married right away, it never is. |Chris, preaching what he never practices}}<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|Take it from the lonesome man in [[Virginia]] who has been trying to find a Boyfriend-Free girl for over One year and Five months, with the Boyfriend Factor being infinitely high, all you lonesome saps have to summon up courage, or you won’t be able to get [[China|anywhere]]. So here are some tips from me, as well as noted givers of the 411:<br />
<br />
* (CWC) When a girl does acknowledge your existence, rather by a simple wave, or as extreme as a hug, forget the Boyfriend-Factor, summon your courage and talk to her. And be sure to ask her if she does have a Boyfriend.<br />
* (CWC) If she does have a Boyfriend, keep her name in mind, because she could help you hook up with a pretty Boyfriend-Free girl in the future.<br />
* ([[Wikipedia:John Tesh|John Tesh]]) If you want to give her a gift right off the bat, give, or send, her a bouquet of flowers, other than the clichéd Roses, and no more. You’ll have plenty of time in the future to give her more.<br />
* (John Tesh) The right time to give her a gift, during your date, is during, of after, desert [''sic''] (especially if you made the desert [''sic''] for her yourself).<br />
* (CWC) If you are meeting her for the first time, just keep a cool head, and be yourself. But if you want a quick list of what to do, here’s my list, courtesy of the [[Sprung]] game for the [[Nintendo]] DS:<br />
* Introduce yourself: try to [[The Creepy Stare|look serious]] on your face; do not [[Fangs|smile big]], and do not use a [[Speech impediment|forceful voice tone]].<br />
* Compliment her: on her [[hair]] or [[eyes]].<br />
* Break the Ice with a [[Christian's sex joke|joke]]: try not to use an [[Twin Falling Towers|offensive joke]]. Or, you can do what I do, if you can, just imitate good ol’ [[Donald Duck]]. Quack! Quack!<br />
* (Depending on the situation), offer to buy her a [[CWC Cola|drink]], or comment on a topic of interest (such as the [[Lovely Weather|weather]]).<br />
* Ask for her name: make it sound kind and fun. For example, you can say, “[[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|Do angels like you have names]]?” If she is offended by that, apologize and say that you thought it was a kind way of asking her name. <ref>Fun fact: Chris used this with [[Anna]] in [[The Tale of the Crazy Pacer]]</ref> <br />
* (I’d add this step) Ask her about herself: where her family [[Molvania|came from]], [[Mary Poppins|favorite movie]] or [[Yellow is a Mellow Color|color]], and other [[Honest Content|fun basic things]] like that. And try to make the conversation fun, because the more fun she has with you, the more likely you are to get her phone number.<br />
* Ask for her phone number: if she does not give it to you now, just give her time, and just hang with her, and she’ll give it to you.<br />
* Ask her for a date: make it immediate, like after work or school. An immediate date shows real interest, or desperation.<br />
*(CWC) Most importantly, DO NOT RUSH Her. You do not want her to feel pressured into a relationship, because then she’ll dump you faster than Sonichu [[Sonichu's Edge|running a mile]]. Give her time; it’s not like you all are going to get married right away, it never is.<br />
* (John Tesh) Your date is very important. If you take her to a party, then you probably feel like you need the support of your friends in front of your girlfriend. If you take her to a movie, you are likely to want her to yourself, and sneak a smooch in the dark. But if you take her to dinner, then you are showing real interest, because you are most able to converse over a [[McDonald's|good meal]].<br />
* (John Tesh) When you want to watch a movie with her, you should pick a romance flick. Since you and she are less likely to feel romantic during any other movie category, like action or horror. And hey, she will most appreciate the love you show by sharing the chick flick, because it shows that you care about her feelings<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews7.htm</ref>.}}<br />
<br />
===Sonichu goes to the [[University of Virginia]] library===<br />
{{quotebox|After hanging at Fashion Square and PVCC, [[Sonichu]], the [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon]], decided to give the University of Virginia a try. He found the campus grounds serene and peaceful with its history, scenery and plenty of grass to rest on. He found himself [[Honor roll|educated]] within the libraries’ many books, and made like he was in Paris with the outdoor tables and chairs. And the “Corner” stores had an interesting selection of items from pencil sets to [[DVD]]s. He gave the UVA 5/5 Lightning Bolts of approval. Thank you UVA, for a very peaceful place to chill at in the city of Charlottesville<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/sonichu/SchusNews5.htm</ref>.}}<br />
<br />
===Prelude to [[Silvana]]===<br />
{{quotebox|Recently, a black [[Rosechu]] came down from outer space in a fashionable space ship. She came down onto our Earth wreaking havoc by abducting the Sonichu Heroes. But in conjunction with [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], the Rosechus of Earth rescued all of them. In an interview with [[Magi-Chan]] Sonichu, he said, “I’ve been communicating with her through telekinesis, and she sounded very lonesome. She said that she was a female [[Pikachu]] who was hit by a shining light from the Chaos [[Rainbow]].” The Chaos Rainbow was the rainbow made when Super Sonic collided with the Pikachu, on that fateful day in Station Square years ago. And when interviewed, the black Rosechu, who named herself, Silvana, she stated, “I abducted the Sonichus, because it was very lonesome on the moon, there were NO aliens there at all. And when I communicated with Magi-Chan, I was inspired to build my spacecraft with the remains of the shuttle that put me there in the first place." <ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews7.htm</ref>}}<br />
<br />
===Chris's letter on ''[[Sprung]]''===<br />
{{quotebox|I, Christian Weston Chandler, have sent an E-Mail to [[Nintendo Power]]’s “Players’ Pulse” section on January 9, 2005, in response to Nintendo DS’s Sprung game (scanned pages shown above). After receiving my copy of the April, 2005 issue, I was pleasantly surprised to find my E-Mail printed in the “Players’ Pulse” section, with the screen shot (shown to the bottom-right), which I find very appropriate to my current situation. The girl on top says, “YOU BETTER GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE MY BOYFRIEND KICKS YOUR ***!” Although, there are a couple of fixes to mend in their print out: the fear I was referring to should be “[[Noviophobia|NOVIOPHOBIA]],” not “NOIOPHOBIA.” Also, since February 24, 2005, I am now 23-years old, and I am looking for an 18-23-year old, Boyfiend-Free, Datable Girl whom I can love and trust. Also, a little time after using the teachings of Sprung, my fear came back like a boomerang<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews8.htm</ref>.}}<br />
<br />
===Chris's 23rd Birthday===<br />
{{quotebox|Christian Chandler had originally planned to have his party on Thursday, February 24, but then it got snowed out, so it was changed to Saturday, February 26. His party was located at the Fashion Square Shopping Center in [[Charlottesville, Virginia]], by the tree between Abercrombie & Fitch and Pacific Sunwear. A couple of his new-found gal-pals, who all already have Boyfriends, or are otherwise undatable, due to her [[religion]], came by to his party and have partaken in the lovely cake and [[Yellow is a Mellow Color|Mello Yello]] soda pop. They also gave him a very nice present too. His parents were also there, with a present as well, and they told a couple of interesting stories of Christian. Christian, his parents, and his friends, all had a good time, which makes up for Christian’s snowed out 23rd Birthday.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews8.htm</ref> }}<br />
<br />
===Completion of ''Sonichu'' #0===<br />
{{quotebox|Yes, Sonichu fans, the Premiere Hand-Drawn issue of the Sonichu Comic Book has been completed. The project was started with the Cover drawing (see issue #6 of the News Dash for the previous information) back on November 24, [[2004]], and since then, with [[Things Chris has ripped off|random inspiration]] and [[Video games|too many breaks]], the book was completed on March 15, [[2005]]. The Comic includes the first 3 Episodes of our heroic Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon, Sonichu, classic strips drawn before the Comic project and two “Advertisements” for possible future games ([[Miyamoto Saga|at least in Christian W. Chandler’s dreams]]). CWC said, “Well, it took a long time, all things considered, but I feel that this Comic is my best work yet. I have also recently made a Sub-Episode that, one may say, started right after the Epilogue in Episode 3; it will be placed exclusively on the Sonichu Site for the fans to see. Also, I’m thinking about a Premiere Issue #1 featuring the story of how [[Black Sonichu]] was created, as well as how [[Sonichu]] and [[Sonic]] the Hedgehog “formally” met. 8) I’ll keep you up to date as I am inspired; until then, keep on “Zappin’ to the Extreme!” On the Sonichu Site, there will be two ways to access the Comic: through a link on the front page, or click on the Back Cover image (shown below) in this issue of the News Dash<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews9.htm</ref>.}}<br />
<br />
===Chris at some [[anime]] cons===<br />
[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|Chris meeting Monica Rial]]<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|On May 29, 2004, I, Christian Chandler, attended my first Anime Convention. I had a good time watching some Anime, sampling some [[Wikipedia:Ramune|Ramune]] (Japan Soda), and other things. My main highlight though was meeting the lovely and sweet-spoken voice actress, [[Wikipedia:Monica Rial|Monica Rial]] (pictured next to me to the left). Monica is well known for being the voice behind many Anime characters. Some of which include: Hyatt ([[Excel Saga]]), Saki ([[Wikipedia:Steel Angel Kurumi|Steel Angel Kurumi]]), Mikako ([[Wikipedia:Martian Successor Nadesico|Martian Sucessor Nadesico]] [''sic'']) and Shii ([[Wikipedia:Puni Puni Poemy|Puni Puni Poemy]]). She also sings opera very nicely, and she is a very nice, fun and sweet person to hang around with. She sure made my day a sweet one. ;8)<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews5.htm</ref> }}<br />
<br><br />
{{quotebox|(So to speak) Christian Chandler plans to attend the Anime Mid Atlantic Convention in Richmond, Virginia on all three days (June 17-19, 2005). Since he has put himself into [[Sonichu]]’s world, he will “[[Cosplay]]” as himself ([[Chris and his Ego|talk about self-respect]], huh?). Also, he will be watching some of the good anime, getting some souvenirs, participating in some of the events and just having a good time. Also, he will have some printed copies of the [[Sonichu 0|Sonichu Premiere Issue #0]] on hand, but if you want a collectable copy, you will have to find him, and ask for one.<br><br />
At the convention, as noted for now, there will be quite a selection of special guests attending, such as ADV voice actors, [[Wikipedia:Greg Ayers|Greg Ayers]] and [[Wikipedia:Doug Smith|Doug Smith]], and author [[Wikipedia:Robert V. Aldrich|Robert V. Aldrich]]. CWC hopes that Monica Rial will be there again this year (see News Dash issue #5 for his previous encounter with this lovely Voice Actress)! 8) Also up for fun are the Art Shows, contests, Guest Panels, Workshops, Video Game Room, Vendors to sell [[Anime Wings|Cool Anime items]] (some imported from Japan), and much, much more. To learn more about the Anime Mid-Atlantic convention, regrestration, and where in Richmond, Virginia it is located, visit the website at http://www.animemidatlantic.com<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews9.htm</ref>. }}<br />
<br />
===Chris on PowerWeb ("Why PowerWeb STINKS on Ice")===<br />
{{quotebox|<br />
# It is FORCED as the ONLY way to enroll into PVCC.<br />
# There is no alternative to enrolling, because they took away the original registration forms.<br />
# It’s NOT user-friendly.<br />
# It was not designed for the [[CADD|computer illiterate]].<br />
# It’s very unethical.<br />
# There is [[Autism|no person-to-person contact]].<br />
# High risk of lost connection while [[Honor roll|figuring it out]].<br />
# Much LONGER waiting time.<br />
# It’s too much trouble to deal with.<br />
# It had too much advertising to give a darn.<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references/><br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville//newdash.htm ''Sonichu's News Dash!'' archive]<br />
{{Writings}}<br />
[[Category:Media produced by Chris-chan]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Medallions&diff=153837
Medallions
2011-12-05T06:41:48Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
[[Image:License.jpg|150px|thumb|left|Oh, yes he fucking did!]]<br />
[[Image:ickeriss_medallions.jpg|150px|thumb|Top to bottom: [[PS3|The Good]], [[Hex Bawx|the Bad]], [[Chris and art|the Ugly]]. Left to right: The decoy Sonichu medallion, the [[Jiggliami]] medallion, the Rosechu medallion, and the [[Blake]] medallion.]]<br />
<br />
{{quote| And we're rubbing each others sides and backs with our hands, our mouths are busy, and after a moment, you take off your blouse, and I take off my shirt, optionally with the medallion on|[[Chris]], describing his [[sex]] fantasy to [[PandaHalo]]}}<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris_Sex_Logs#Two_Front_Teeth</ref><br />
<br />
[[Christian Weston Chandler]] loves his original character [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] so much that he sometimes wears a handmade Sonichu medallion on his neck. In public. He also calls them "medals".<ref>[[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]</ref><ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|"CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!"]]</ref><ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref><ref>[[Chris Chan Update 9 October 2008]]</ref><br />
<br />
The Sonichu medallion, along with his trademark [[Chris and fashion|striped shirt]], is perhaps his most famous characteristic. Over the years, Chris has produced numerous medallions of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] characters. They're made from [[CHRIS!!!_CHANDLER!!!|Crayola fuckin' Model Magic.]]<br />
<br />
==Origins and purpose==<br />
[[Image:096-SonichuMedallion.jpg|thumb|Like anything else Chris holds dear, it also comes in card form.]]<br />
[[Image:0608-CWCIs22.jpg|thumb|left|The earliest known photo of Chris with the medallion, from 24 February [[2004]], Chris's 22nd birthday. The medallion is in profile, with [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dinks]] hanging from its chain.]]<br />
[[Image:Abused_cat.jpg|thumb|Some unamused [[cat]].]]<br />
<br />
Though Chris previously could not recall when he first made the medallion, in [[August 2009]], Chris finally recalled the origins of the medallion. From [[CWCipedia]]:<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu]</ref><br />
<br />
{{quote|Then Late [[2000]], I bought some [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Model Magic Clay, and I molded and crafted the First Original Sonichu Medallion that I wore around my neck with a makeshift chain (which I later replaced with a better necklace I bought from [[Anna|Pacific Sunwear]] at my [[Mall]]). Sadly, the First Original was mistrusted with a [[Blanca Weiss|feindish individual]] in [[2008]], I recrafted the Medal and continued on (The Necklace Still Holds ALL the History of the Medallions). THERE IS CURRENTLY ONLY ONE Original, True Sonichu Medallion, and it is NOT MADE FROM [[CChanSonichuCWC|PAPER]] cheaply, NOT MANUFACTURED IN A FACTORY from Plastic or Metal (yet); IT IS MADE FROM CRAYOLA MODLE MAGIC CLAY, with my Permanent Ink Signature, Copyright Note, Circle of Originality, and Two Custom Shrinkie-Dink Charms of Sonichu and an [[S-Chu Ball]].}}<br />
<br />
Despite being allegedly created in March [[2000]], the earliest known photograph of Chris wearing a Sonichu medallion is from his twenty-second birthday, 24 February [[2004]]. In his [[So Need a Cute Girl|"So Need a Cute Girl"]] video (20 December [[2004]]) he feels it necessary to explain what it is, suggesting that it is still a relatively new feature. <br />
<br />
In a [[Mumble]] chat on 10 [[February 2009]], Chris revealed the reason for the medallion and that is... because he wanted to. It's "like a nametag" for him.<ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble #6]]</ref> In one of his [[ED]] edits, Chris says that his medallion "identifies him for the [[autism|high-funcioning [''sic''] Autistic]] individual that he is."<ref>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997315096&oldid=1997314465] Chris ED edit, Revision as of 07:28, 10 November 2007</ref> And man, it sure does. It has also been speculated there could be other reasons for wearing his medallion, which range from simply thinking Sonichu is '''SERIOUS BUSINESS''', to being a portable anchor in our dangerous real world to [[CWCville]], his own happy world where he's always the hero who saves the day.<br />
<br />
Chris is somewhat aware that the medallions make him look like a crazy person: he reassured [[Kacey]] that he didn't wear one to his job interview at [[Target]] (of course, this interview almost certainly did not take place, but Chris was at least aware that wearing a yellow hedgehog's head around your neck is not socially normal.)<ref>[[Kacey Call 21]]</ref><br />
<br />
[[File:Soniccomicmedallion.png|thumb|Chris can't come up with any original ideas.]]<br />
<br />
One theory as to the origin of the medallion idea comes from the ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' comic series (issue #70), in which a character is depicted wearing a yellow Sonic medallion. This theory is supported by the fact the issue came out in February [[1999]], a year before Chris claims that the Sonichu medallion was created.<br />
<br />
Each medallion is constructed from [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Fuckin' Model Magic, a non-toxic, easy-to-use modeling clay intended for small children. Chris wedges a keyring into the edge of each medallion, from which he can attach a chain to go around his neck. Sometimes he wears a [[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]] wristband on top of it because, being autistic, he mostly likely has [[Wikipedia:Sensory_defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], which might render the sensation of the chain's links uncomfortable. Medallions are painted with acrylic paint in the color schemes of the characters they represent, with [[Chris and copyright|copyright information]] scrawled on the back. Additional detailing varies, but Chris is known to have applied [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dink]] charms to certain medallions as a form of authentication, to prevent counterfeiting.<br />
<br />
==The Sonichu medallion==<br />
[[Image:0712-CWCCollGrad3.jpg|150px|thumb|Chris even wore it at his goddamn [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation.]]<br />
[[Image:FushionRedone.jpg|150px|thumb|left|Before [[Blanca]], it was believed that the Medallion of Fail would corrupt its possessor, turning him into an autistic manchild with a poor taste in [[Chris and fashion|fashion]].]]<br />
Chris's primary medal is his Sonichu medallion, which he has rarely been seen without for the past five years. This medallion of course depicts his main character, Sonichu. Within the canon of Chris's [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], the medallion is the source of the [[Anchuent powers]] that allow Chris to assume his Electric Hedgehog alter ego, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. <br />
<br />
As he explained to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] in his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|business proposal]], the medallion gives him no special powers in real life.<br />
<br />
Chris has repeatedly claimed that in order for it to be a TRUE and HONEST video, it will be of him wearing the medallion. In this manner, he attempted to cast doubt on the videos he posted confessing [[homos]]exuality, since he was not wearing his medallion in that footage.<br />
<br />
<br clear="all"><br />
<br />
===Prototype===<br />
{{quote|He was also wearing a makeshift necklace that has a large plastic medallion in the shape of a Pokeman [sic] characters [sic] head. He also had a number of shrinky dink decorations attached to this necklace.|Psychiatrist describing the prototype Medallion of Fail.<ref>[[Autism_papers#MENTAL_STATUS_EXAM]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:094-SchuMedl.jpg|150px|thumb|Earliest known version of the medallion.]]<br />
<br />
[[Image:190-chumedal.jpg|150px|thumb|left|Computer rendering. This required over 9,000 hours in MS Paint, as well as an associates degree in CAD/CAM.]]<br />
<br />
It appears that the very first medallion Chris created is the one seen to the right, which Chris was photographed wearing sporadically in [[2004]]. This design is definitely cruder than the others, with a pale yellow hue suggesting Chris was still learning how to properly apply color in this medium. This version is always seen on a metal chain, accompanied by Shrinky Dinks of a "CWC" logo, [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and the [[Chaotic Combo]].<br />
<br />
Chris wore this medallion as late as May [[2004]], when he brought it with him to the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention that year. He would also wear this medallion later in the year, when he received a [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]].<br />
<br />
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<br />
===Mark 1 (and decoy)===<br />
[[Image:Chrischan_sonichu_medal.jpg|150px|thumb|left|'''Spoiler:''' He even wears it during his sex fantasies.]]<br />
[[Image:Decoy medallion.JPG|thumb|150px|The decoy medallion.]]<br />
<br />
[[Image:SpecialSymbols.jpg|150px|thumb|left|The SPECIAL SYMBOLS to identify the TRUE and HONEST medallion.]]<br />
[[Image:Terrifying by neodalion.jpg|150px|thumb|Chris's supposed reaction to the destruction of his medallion (artist's depiction).]]<br />
<br />
By [[June 2005]] Chris had begun to wear a new medallion with a better paint job. This one can be identified by the tufts of fur on the sides of Sonichu's face, which are less pronounced than in the prototype and later models. There are no Shrinky Dinks to go with it, and instead of a chain it hangs from some sort of beaded necklace. The appearance of this version in pictures and videos seems to correspond with the introduction of Chris's red-and-blue striped shirts. This may be the medallion he was wearing in the [[So Need a Cute Girl|20 Dec 2004 video]]. It is definitely the medallion he wore to the [[2005]] Anime Mid-Atlantic convention.<br />
<br />
No one is sure how many medallions Chris wore between 2005 and [[2008]], but in all pictures they appear roughly the same as this design. Sonichu's face has eyebrows in some photos and not in others, so either Chris was repainting the same medallion or making new ones. [[4chan]] and [[ED]] are filled with high-functioning [[autistic]]s who have pored over photographs identifying subtle differences in the medal's "ears" and "cheeks", without arriving at a consensus. For the sake of clarity, this article will assume that this was Chris's only medallion during this period.<br />
<br />
In [[August 2008]], an anon on /v/ offered a story and photograph suggesting that he had met Chris in real life and tricked him into giving the medallion to him. However, anon aspies all immediately analyzed the details of dozens of pictures and determined the "stolen" medallion to be a forgery. This conclusion was reaffirmed when Chris himself decided to post [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008|a video]] announcing that the medallion had never been stolen, defiantly claiming that nobody would take it from him. He also denied it in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]].<br />
<br />
Chris claimed to have made multiple Sonichu medallions and that he would sometimes wear these decoys to frustrate attempts to steal the one true medallion. It would remain unclear whether he was bluffing until October [[2008]] when the team of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca Weiss]] tricked him into sending all of his medallions to them. The package they received contained no fewer than ''two'' yellow Sonichu medals: one with the special markings identifying it as the "real" one, and another with no markings. It may be assumed that these were the only two medallions he owned at that time. Neither of them was the prototype, however, and its fate is unclear.<br />
<br />
A video that showed the destruction of the medallion was eventually uploaded to [[YouTube]]. Chris responded by [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|crashing into slumber]]. Its remains are currently locked in a box somewhere at [[Wikipedia:Miskatonic University| Miskatonic University]]. As for the decoy Sonichu medallion, it ultimately ended up in the possession of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]'s owner/webmaster, Girlvynl.<br />
<br />
<br><br />
<center>{{#ev:youtube|bzlUoAOpiak}}</center><br />
<br />
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<br />
===Mark 2===<br />
[[Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|150px|thumb|It identifies him for the high-functioning autistic individual that he is]]<br />
<br />
After sending the medallions to Blanca, and being told by Blanca that trolls had stolen them from "her," Chris created a new Sonichu medallion with a slightly larger design. He posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|a video]] [[lie|explaining]] that Blanca had recovered the original one and sent it back to him, and that he had modified it. This new medallion boasted a special peg on the reverse side which could be used to hold Chris's [[high school ring]], which somehow made it copy-protected.<br />
<br />
Assuming Chris did not create any backup medallions, this is the same one he wore while posing in [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]]'s underwear at the request of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca]]. During this same exchange he later [[semen|ejaculated]] onto the medal. Shortly thereafter Chris posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|a new video]] in which he is visibly not wearing the medallion. It's unclear if he replaced this soiled medallion or if he cleaned it; in either case he was wearing it (or a similar duplicate) again by 27 October.<br />
<br />
On 3 [[March 2009]], [[Max]] coerced Chris into cutting his medallion into pieces and shoving those pieces up his [[Wikipedia:Rectum|rectum]]. The idea of Chris literally inserting these chunks of ceramic into his rectum (and therefore risking anal tearing and sepsis) was highly controversial. Some have argued that he merely placed them between his buttcheeks (either in an attempt to deceive [[Max]] or out of ignorance of how to get them past his sphincter), but in any case, the remnants of the medallion were assuredly covered in [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fecal matter]]. Whatever happened, Chris thinks that [[Bob|his father]] would "have another heart attack" if he knew the details.<br />
<br />
===Mark 3===<br />
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|150px|thumb|Oh God, the taste...]]<br />
[[Image:New sonichu medallion.jpg|150px|thumb|left|The first formal appearance of the Mark 3 medallion. It's like ''[[Wikipedia:The Blair Witch Project|The Blair Witch Project]]'', but only a few seconds long and the entire budget (and then some) spent on the crap on the background]]<br />
<br />
Although Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|claimed]] that he was making a new medallion, he didn't wear any medal in his [[YouTube]] videos between the 3 [[March 2009]] incident and his 1 [[July 2009]] videos. During this period he argued that his high school [[ring]] may be accepted as a symbol of his truthiness. However, since this statement was made without the medallion, this was false and Chris disproved himself.<br />
<br />
In photos released 17 [[April 2009]] of Chris in some [[butt garments]], the new medallion, Mark 3, is shown as Chris licks it in a sensuous fashion. The release of these images proved doubly hurtful for Chris, not only for showing him, a shell of a manchild, in diapers but even worse in that it confirmed that there is a new Medallion that can either be seized and/or shoved up his rectum.<br />
<br />
Despite the fact that he had made a new medallion, Chris was for some time reluctant to wear it in his videos, allegedly out of the fear that trolls would start a new campaign to seize the medallion and/or shove it up his rectum. <br />
<br />
On [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|22 May 2009]] this medallion made a surprise cameo in Christian's newest video. During the update, the video randomly cuts to the medallion hanging from the ceiling, only to cut back to Chris seconds afterward, presumably to add extra validity to the statements made in Chris's video.<br />
<br />
The [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009|1 July 2009]] videos mark the full return of the Medallion of Fail, as Chris wears the third medallion around his neck throughout both videos.<br />
<br />
CWC enthusiasts can look forward to Chris voluntarily surrendering the medallion to thieves and/or willingly shoving it up his rectum in the near future.<br />
<br />
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<br />
==The Rosechu medallion==<br />
[[Image:Medallion Rosechu.jpg|150px|thumb|left|A gift for his beloved sister-wife]]<br />
[[Image:Rosechu medallion.JPG|150px|thumb|Close-up]]<br />
<br />
Only one medallion of Sonichu's [[sweetheart]] [[Rosechu]] is known to have existed, but it is speculated to be the first one Chris fashioned after the Sonichu one. The Rosechu medallion was intended to be worn by Chris's future [[heartsweet]], the one who would be his true love and bear him his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|God-called daughter]]. Chris has never been seen wearing it himself. It was sent with the others to Blanca in October 2008. <br />
<br />
The medallion was first revealed to the Internet in the pages of [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], where Chris's [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|imaginary twin sister Crystal]] was introduced wearing it. In the comics Crystal possesses the same anchuent powers as Chris and the Rosechu medallion therefore allows her to become Crystalina Rosechu. That a real Rosechu medal existed was not learned until later, when Chris revealed it to [[PandaHalo]].<br />
<br />
In case it hadn't occurred to you yet: Chris did, in real life, make a medal to be awarded to the future mother of his children, and in his fantasy world he has affixed this same medal to the twin sister he created to explore what he would be like if he'd been born female. Freud would doubtlessly have some choice words to say about this.<br />
<br />
<br clear="all"><br />
<br />
==The Black Sonichu medallion==<br />
[[Image:Blachu Medallion.JPG|150px|thumb|left|He's too angry to show his [[fangs]]]]<br />
[[Image:Black sonichu.JPG|150px|thumb|Close-up]]<br />
<br />
Although Black Sonichu (now [[Blake]]) seems to have originally served as an analogue for [[Wes Iseli]],<ref>As seen in [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] - [[:File:433-CWCSNHP9.jpg]]</ref> Chris uses the Black Sonichu medallion to represent his own dark side, as he himself admits.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> The picture at the left speaks volumes about its significance; Chris seems to believe that if he scowls hard enough and wears the evil medallion, then whoever he's angry with will be terrified into capitulation, such as when he wore it in a [[CWC is Angry|video]] aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]].<br />
<br />
The [[Anchuent Prophecy]] in the comics foretells that the Black Sonichu medallion would be created as a dark reflection of the original, yellow Sonichu medallion Chris wears. Beginning with [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] began wearing the dark medal and acting as Christian's evil twin, following the urges Chris himself keeps bottled up inside him. Like Christian, Naitsirhc summons powers from his medallion to become [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]].<br />
<br />
Naitsirhc's medallion notwithstanding, Black Sonichu's role as the symbol of pure evil has softened in recent years as Chris has allowed the character to soften and fall in love with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. As such the actual Black Sonichu medallion was rarely seen until it was sent to Blanca in October [[2008]].<br />
{{Clear}}<br />
<br />
==The Jiggliami medallion==<br />
Despite the purpose of the Rosechu medallion, Chris was so in love with Blanca that he created a brand-new medallion for her to wear based on Blanca's original character [[Jiggliami]]. This medallion was sent along with the others to Blanca in October 2008. Blanca was depicted wearing this medallion in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. It was sent to the now-former admin of the [[/cwc/]] imageboard and currently resides in a holding facility somewhere in California.<br />
<br />
It is the simplest of the medallions, being a plain circle with no three-dimensional pieces. Consequently, it's probably the least hideous of the medallions, as Chris has limited the number of ways he can fail by giving himself less work to do.<br />
<center><br />
<gallery><br />
Image:Jiggliamimedallion.jpg|On the back, it reads "Medallion crafted by Christian Weston Chandler."<br />
Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Front_Scan.jpg|Scanned image of the front of the Jiggliami Medallion.<br />
Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Back_Scan.jpg|Back of the Jiggliami Medallion. The signature by Chris has faded with time.<br />
</gallery><br />
</center><br />
==The [[Asperchu]] Medallion==<br />
[[Image:As.PNG|200px|thumb|The Medallion of Win in all its glory]] <br />
<br />
In [[Magical Man Potion|one video]], Chris's mysterious friend is seen sporting an odd medallion. In [[02 March 2010|another video]] a few days later, the medallion is confirmed to be one of Asperchu. Apparently, it was crafted by Alec Benson Leary and given to Chris as a symbol of goodwill. In that video, Chris is pained to have the medallion around and have it hung up on his wall. The medal is still hanging on his wall to this day, covered by the box Alec sent it in so Chris doesn't get stressed by having to look at it. (although the box was seen hanging open in the [[Tomgirl Pictures]]: what this means is best not thought about).<br />
<br />
Chris wears the medallion while impersonating Alec Benson Leary in his video [[100 2270]].<br />
<br />
==Gone forever?==<br />
Chris was believed to have abandoned his medallions in [[2010]], but then was seen wearing one on 6 [[September 2010]] in [[Haters gonna hate.mov]]. All was right with the world again. However, the medallion has not been seen since Chris started wearing his "Tomgirl" attire (failing to appear in either the original [[Tomgirl Pictures]] or the [[Calling Out]] videos), suggesting that at the very least Chris wears it much less than he used to do, or possibly that the medallion has finally checked out for good.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Obtaining Medallions==<br />
Since the discovery of Chris on [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], it had been understood among trolls that the Sonichu medallion was Chris's most cherished possession and that he would cry like a bitch if it were ever taken from him, making its capture a prime objective. This proved only partially true when it was inevitably stolen. Chris does not seem to have a special attachment to any one particular medallion, but merely his ability to always wear one at all times. Further, all successful efforts to eliminate the medallions have resulted in relatively little outrage; Chris is always more concerned with his Internet girlfriends being fake than he is over losing his property because of them. Currently, there are only 2 medallions that have not been obtained by trolls or shoved up Chris's ass.<br />
<br />
===Medallions obtained by [[Blanca Weiss]]=== <br />
*Sonichu Mark 1<br />
*Sonichu Decoy<br />
*Rosechu<br />
*Black Sonichu<br />
*Jiggliami<br />
<br />
<br><br />
<center>{{#ev:youtube|A0H7bXHEa58}}</center><br />
<br />
<br clear="all"><br />
<br />
===Destroyed Medallions===<br />
*Sonichu Mark 2 <br />
<br />
===Medallions Still in Chris's Possesion===<br />
*Sonichu Mark 3<br />
*Asperchu<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Amnyfest Ring]], another source of Chris's power<br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{Relics of Fail}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]<br />
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]<br />
[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Clyde_Cash&diff=153836
Clyde Cash
2011-12-05T06:41:15Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"<br />
|-<br />
! colspan="2" | Trolls<br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" | [[Image:TheRealClydeCash.jpg|300px]]<br />
|-<br />
! colspan="2" |Clyde Cash<br />
|-<br />
| '''Alias'''<br />
| Gregg Mays<br />
|-<br />
| '''Date of Birth'''<br />
| 4 July 1976<br />
|-<br />
| '''Gender'''<br />
| Male<br />
|-<br />
| '''Nationality'''<br />
| [[United States of America|American]]<br />
|-<br />
| '''Race'''<br />
| [[Chris and race|White]]<br />
|-<br />
| '''Siblings'''<br />
| [[Ryan Cash]] (deceased)<br />
|-<br />
| '''Spouse'''<br />
| [[PandaHalo]]<br />
|-<br />
| '''Occupation(s)'''<br />
Internet troll<br>Leader of [[The Miscreants]]<br />
|-<br />
|}<br />
<br />
[[Image:ChrisVSClyde.JPG|thumb|left|Artist's interpretation of this epic struggle.]]<br />
<br />
{{quote|Yer butt's gonna be in trouble|[[Barbara Chandler]] on Clyde Cash<ref>[[Hooker incident#Aftermath|The Hooker Incident]]</ref>}}<br />
{{quote|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!|[[Chris]] on Clyde Cash<ref>[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
'''Clyde Cash''' (alias '''Gregg Mays''' - that's [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|Gregg with three G's]]) ([[America|4 July]] [[1976]]<ref>[[:File:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg]]</ref>) is leader of [[The Miscreants]] and the most notorious of [[Chris]]'s [[troll]]s, often considered to be Chris's arch nemesis.<br />
<br />
In Chris's revised [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, Clyde is referred to as a "Starscream troll". This is a reference to the ''[[Transformers]]'' character Starscream, who would often switch sides or plot to overthrow Megatron behind the scenes. Chris says this [[Chris and Reality|because he believes]] Clyde allegedly killed [[BlueSpike]].<ref>[[Mumble 12]]</ref><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
==Origins==<br />
[[Image:325504 - Chris-chan clyde cash.jpg|thumb|Clyde's butt being in trouble, courtesy of Chris.]]<br />
For the longest time, Clyde had no problems with Chris. Although he disapproved of some of the content, he was pleased to see the joy the franchise had brought his brother Ryan. Every night before bed, Clyde would read Ryan the latest ''[[Sonichu]]'' adventure until Ryan had dozed off to sleep (usually with the first three pages).<br />
<br />
This changed when Chris announced, in his usual knee-jerk fashion, that he was going to stop drawing ''Sonichu'' [[comic]]s. Clyde tried comforting the upset Ryan to no avail. One night in mid-[[December 2008]],<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref> Clyde entered Ryan's bedroom, intending to share a tray of freshly baked gingerbread men, only to find the lifeless form of his brother swinging from a light fixture. The dark silhouette of his body threw ghostly shadows across the room. <br />
<br />
On the desk Clyde found a note - apparently the pain of not knowing whether [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] would be released from the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] was too much for the young Ryan to bear. Clyde screamed, but no sounds would come out. Collapsing to the floor, he swore undying revenge on Christian Weston Chandler.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==The torment begins==<br />
[[Image:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg|thumb|left|[[Virginia]]: [[Virginia is for Virgins|No longer for virgins]].]]<br />
[[Image:Clydecashandannamclerran.jpg|thumb|Clyde Cash turns [[Anna McLerran|ladies]] [[Homos|straight]].]]<br />
Clyde's first act was to rape Chris's [[sweetheart]] [[PandaHalo]]<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref>, but it did absolutely nothing to Chris as he simply moved onto the next [[gal-pal]]. Chris believes that Clyde married Panda and had a "One Cent Daughter" named Penny.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref><br />
<br />
Then, Clyde [[Gregg Mays E-mails|posed as Gregg Mays]] (a web designer working for [[Nintendo]]) to gain access to [[Sonichu.net]]. Holding the site for ransom, he told Chris to make [[It's UGH!|a video proclaiming he was gay]]. He then told him to make a [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|video declaring his straightness]]. Eventually, Chris regained access to the site. Striking again, Clyde worked with a [[troll]] and got rid of the domain. Chris, being resilient, bought Sonichu.info. With the help of PandaHalo, Clyde managed to gain access again.<br />
<br />
It was around this time that [[Takashi Tezuka]] and [[Jay Z]] were doing their ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' game project. Clyde then decided to make things more interesting and posed as [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] to destroy any chance of the project. Teaming up with [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]], they created the [[Miyamoto Saga]].<br />
<br />
[[Julie]] set up a [[Mumble]] chat in which Chris could communicate with [[Trolls|TRUE and HONEST ''Sonichu'' fans]]. Clyde stalked Julie while infiltrating these chats to confront Chris. He began throwing demands to Chris such as [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|cleaning his room]]. Chris at the same time also bought SonichuandRosechu.com. Clyde got access yet again, this time with the help of Julie. In the end, it was revealed that Julie was a thirteen-year-old boy and that Clyde had staged the whole thing.<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref><br />
<br />
After that, he sent out his trusted [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Hebrew friend]] to scout out Chris's whereabouts. The MIPS turned [[Robert Simmons V]] into a troll and infiltrated [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].<ref>[[Church Audio]]</ref> He then stole Chris's one and only date, [[Emily]].<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref><br />
<br />
When [[Ivy]] came along, he decided to continually harass her and despite Chris making a few threats, Ivy eventually gave in and killed herself.<ref>[[CWC "Boyfriend"]]</ref><br />
<br />
Oh, and Clyde also hacked into the [[PSN]] a few times, but then [[Jack Thaddeus]] did him one better...<ref>[[Chris humps his PS3]]</ref><br />
<br />
And to think all this was done due to Chris not caring about one fan's tragic suicide.<br />
<br />
On 22 [[May 2009]], the death of Clyde Cash, by a shotgun wound to the head, was reported by [[The Miscreants]]. The incident was deemed suicide, although some suspected a foul play.<br />
<br />
==In the comic==<br />
[[File:Cly.jpg|thumb|left|"Cly" in [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]].]]<br />
[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.]]<br />
<br />
In the [[comic]], Cly(de) is a villain working for [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Apart from capturing [[Ivy]] and getting into a fight with Chris, he initially only appeared on [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero]], officially [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]]. Not much is known about Clyde, other than he lives in a mansion and owns a pickle gun and "slander ray."<br />
<br />
He made his first appearance in the comic proper [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] as the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building is collapsing. When [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] escapes, he condemns Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] for being [[homo]] trolls. When [[Beel]] escapes, he too condemns the two for their actions, saying that being homo trolls that are "slandering and tarnishing a innocent man's good name" is just as evil as being an assistant for Adolf Hitler. With no option left, Clyde and Jack jump into the 66+6-story elevator shaft to their deaths.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
== Currently ==<br />
[[Image:GaySpiderMan.jpg|thumb|Clyde Cash and his buddy [[Jack Thaddeus|Jack]].]]<br />
[[File:ClydeandLovelyweather.jpg|left|thumb|Clyde with [[The Wallflower]].]]<br />
[[File:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|Chris's bizarre attempt to [[100 2267|impersonate Clyde]].]]<br />
[[File:Cash1.png|left|thumb|No one can be trusted when it comes to Cash!]]<br />
After Clyde faked his death for reasons unknown, he came back with a vengeance. Chris is not very pleased. <br />
<br />
In late [[2009]], when not battling [[Liquid Chris]] for the hand of [[Kacey]], Chris spent his time trying to convince Clyde Cash, alias Gregg Mays (or "Gregg Mays, alias Clyde Cash," depending on which name he remembers first) to face him in one on one battle. Chris has recorded several feats of strength through a combination of Kacey trying to get him to get into [[obesity|shape]] and a desire to frighten Clyde with his [[Chris and Health|bulging muscles]].<br />
<br />
Chris had also a picture to blackmail Clyde, but ultimately nothing came of it other than a series of videos where Chris tries to torture Clyde.<ref>[[ClydeGoingOnGregg1]], [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]], [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]], [[Getting Foam Ed]], [[Twin Falling Towers]], [[It will never end]], [[Apology for 9/11 Joke]]</ref> Clyde scoffed at [[No More Jokes|the final video]].<br />
<br />
However, because of the negative reaction to [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]], Chris, in the [[CWCipedia]] mailbag, made clear that he would only sit and talk cooperatively with Clyde to get him to stop harassing him.{{cite}}<br />
<br />
Eventually, Chris decided to revisit his old nemesis in [[2010]], believing he was the reason why he lost the heart of "[[The Wallflower]]". In it, he is shown fighting Clyde, then pulling a [[knife]] and [[Don't Mess With Me|slitting Clyde's throat]] as a [[Death threats|warning]] to all [[trolls]].<br />
<br />
In another well-thought counter-trolling plan, Christian unsuccessfully [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|attempted to scam Clyde]] into paying Chris $9,001 for destroying his own [[PS3]]. This almost fail-proof scheme was however foiled thanks to [[Surfshack Tito]]'s vigilance.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Fan videos==<br />
{{collapsible<br />
|Clyde Cash Fan Videos<br />
|<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Chris-Chan KILLED Clyde Cash (Never-Before-Seen Footage)<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|FiTVga0G8Ws}}<br />
| stardate = 7 [[June 2009]]<br />
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/TheClydeCash TheClydeCash]<br />
| subject = | type = | info = }}<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Particle-chan<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NrhdImejktI}}<br />
| stardate = 1 [[July 2009]]<br />
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/PodMonkeyCWC PodMonkeyCWC]<br />
| subject = | type = | info = }}<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Shit Was So Cash! <br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|32XiZC2yG1Y}}<br />
| stardate = 25 [[April 2010]]<br />
| maker = Psycatalyst<br />
| subject = | type = | info = }}<br />
}}<br />
==See also==<br />
{{Fan art}} <br />
*[[A CWC Audition]]<br />
*[[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise]]<br />
== Sources ==<br />
<references /><br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheGreggMays Gregg's YouTube account]<br />
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?jmmyzlznhfa Post-date Conversations] - The part with Clyde begins at about 4:35.<br />
*[http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1263141624839RA18 An International Tribute to Teh Graet Clyde Cash.]<br />
{{Clyde Saga}}<br />
{{Trolls}}<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Cash, Clyde}}<br />
[[Category:People]]<br />
[[Category:Trolls]]<br />
[[Category:Clyde Cash Saga]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Patti_Chandler&diff=153835
Patti Chandler
2011-12-05T06:40:55Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Quote|My- Patti will- the spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! she will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|respecting his deceased pet.]] }}<br />
<br />
[[Image:0054-Patti2.jpg|thumb|Patti Chandler, devourer of souls]]<br />
[[File:PattiAbomination.png|thumb|Patti today]]<br />
<br />
'''Patti Chandler''' (17 March [[1988]] - 27 [[June 2006]]) was [[Chris]]'s childhood dog, a [[Wikipedia:Beagle|beagle]]-[[Wikipedia:Spitz|spitz]] mix, who was put down in [[2006]].<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref> Chris brought Patti back to life in one of his comics, where she somehow gained the ability to walk, talk, and apply for [[Monthly tugboat|welfare]] in [[CWCville]]. <br />
<br />
Much like the [[Wikipedia:Flying Dutchman|Flying Dutchman]], who was cursed to roam the seven seas forever, Patti is cursed to [[Patti-Chan|wander in CWCville]] as she is not allowed to rest in peace.<br />
<br />
There is not a single known picture of Patti indoors, suggesting that she was just left in her pen in the backyard all the time. According to Chris, her wood-and-plastic doghouse weighed "like, five, ten tons".<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref> While a normal person might say something like that figuratively to represent the emotional weight it would take to carry the home of a deceased loved one, Chris acts as though he [[11042009 51 50|honestly believes that's how much it weighs]].<br />
<br />
When confronted about his [[Chris and remorse|insensitivity]], or when someone tries to point out that he has [[Father Call|never once experienced true hardship in his miserable life]], Chris is always quick to point out that he experienced the loss of Patti. He even mentions Patti's death over the death of his [[Aunt Corrina]] (who gave Patti to him in the first place). Chris seems to only mention his aunt as an afterthought when the comparison between someone losing a [[Ryan Cash|close family member]] and Chris losing his dog is scoffed at.<br />
<br />
It is entirely possible that Patti was the only life form to ever love Chris out of anything other than obligation. Patti was also probably the only acquaintance with which Chris has ever had very much in common. Not because they shared [[Chris_and_sex#Beastiality|a mystical bond between man and beast]], brought about through the wondrous unexplained mysteries of [[autism]], but because they were both animals driven by brute instinct with no level of higher comprehension whatsoever.<br />
<br />
According to [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|a video from January 2010]], Patti now feasts on [[Beel|human souls]]. While this may seem to be at odds with the canon of the Sonichu comics, it makes perfect sense if you consider the distinct possibility that CWCville ''is'' hell.<br />
<br />
==Eulogy for Patti, as written by Chris==<br />
<blockquote><i><br />
<br>Patti Chandler<br />
<br>March 17, [[1980s#1988|1988]] to June 27, [[2006]]<br />
<br />
<br>Eulogy written by Christian Weston Chandler, June 27, 2006<br />
[[Image:091-PattiMemory.jpg|thumb|Patti, you sweet, unlucky dog.]]<br />
<br>My family, [[Chris_and_sex#Bestiality|furry]] friends, (anyone else present), we are gathered here today to pay our last respects and wishes to our dearly beloved beagle/spitz, Patti, who has departed from our world here on earth to a [[CWCville|doggy heaven where she will be happier]], because she will run free and play with all the other dogs who are already having fun up there. And she will often look down upon her beloved family, me, Christian Chandler, my mother, [[Barbara Chandler]], and my father [[Robert Chandler]], and the [[Chandler cats|cats]] who have grown fond of Patti.<br />
<br />
<br>I will always remember Patti for all the lovely memories she has shared with me from:<br />
<br>-When I picked her out of the litter at my [[Aunt Corina|Aunt Corina's]] house in Redoak, Virginia.<br />
<br>-The many walks I have shared with her around this neighborhood, as well as the neighborhood in the [[Chris's_homes#Newberry_Towne_Subdivision|Newberry Towne subdivision in Richmond, Virginia.]]<br />
<br>-The time I watched my old best friend, [[Sarah Hammer]], take Patti by her front paws and danced a bit.<br />
<br>-The times I've watched her stand on her hind legs and then rewarded her with a biscuit bone.<br />
<br>-The time I took my camera to her pen and took this lovely picture of her and me, and I made a big deal how she'll be like a movie dog star.<br />
<br>-The times I've just sat with her in the yard and petted her head. I've always given her a [[Homos|"Bally-Scratch"]] where I stroke her head with all five fingers like as if I was gently squeezing a [[Sonichu_Ball|rubber ball.]]<br />
<br>-The many times I've fed her a can of food and a cup full of dry food, and refilled her bucket with fresh water so she can drink it and wash her face.<br />
<br>-There was also the one time I saw her resting on top of her doghouse (not on her back like Snoopy).<br />
<br>-[[Wikipedia:Border collie|I've often wondered why between both her ears, why one was bent and the other was straight like an arrowhead]].<br />
<br />
<br>When Patti was brought to the vet on that [[Fail|faithful]] day, I was distraught with fright and concern for her health. I stayed with her during her final moments with a hand on her head and a tear in my eye. When my mother was brought the paper that gave the doctor permission to send her on her way, I didn't want her to be the one to sign it. I raised Patti since she was a six-week old pup, and I wanted to take the strain for signing the one-way ticket (it was hard for me, but it was for the best). So I signed that paper, with a crying [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] face saying, "We love you, Patti." After that, I gave her my final pets, hug, hand-to-paw hold, eye-contact, ear-rub, cheek-to-fur rub, and I sadly waved her for the final time, and I said, "Good Bye, Patti, I Love You." As I stood outside, I heard Patti's last barks saying, "I will always love you, Chris. Thank You."<br />
<br />
<br>But we all must move on with our lives with our beloved lucky mutt in our hearts and in our memories. So, Patti, may your old dog house and surrounding flowers forever memorialize your blessed heart, your barks at the stars and strangers, and your loyal love that you have blessed upon me and my family and friends. Bark on, and rest in peace, our beloved lucky Patti.<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2006#September]]</ref></i></blockquote><br />
<br />
==Current activity==<br />
<br />
Not content with an eternity of biscuit bones and "bally-scratches" in doggy heaven, Patti has apparently taken time out of being dead to [[Dreams#The Patti-chan dream|assure her former master]] of her peaceful afterlife in a dream. Also, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|Chris has averred]] that her vengeful spirit will seek out [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]] and his cohorts for allegedly besmirching her memory and proceed to, in no particular order, give them nightmares, eat their souls and kill them. Yet, as always, Chris still thinks of himself as a [[Chris and Anger|kind hearted]], [[Chris and Religion|Christian]] individual.<br />
<br />
Patti's physical remains rest underneath her ten-ton doghouse in the Chandlers' backyard. The notion of exhuming and desecrating her bones has become a popular running joke among trolls, to the point that Chris, in a September 2010 [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|YouTube video]], took the time to fiercely deny any rumors that the corpse of his dog was anywhere except where he had buried it.<br />
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Ironically, in a video created about a year after that one, Chris pretended (while dressed as a hooker) to [[It's not that cold|dig up Patti]] and repurpose her as a coat. It seems that not only is Patti an unholy weapon of soul sucking revenge, but a snuggly, warm coat, too.<br />
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==Gallery==<br />
<center><br />
<gallery><br />
Image:0050-Patti5.jpg|Patti relaxing.<br />
Image:0051-Patti6.jpg|Waiting for her master's [[Chris and health|fat ass]] at [[McDonald's]]. <br />
Image:0052-Patti.JPG|Patti full of [[stress]]<br />
Image:0053-Patti1.jpg|Although Patti lived in a cage outside, it was at least 1000 times better than the disaster zone called the Chandler house.<br />
Image:0054-Patti2.jpg|Patti will devour your soul!<br />
Image:0055-Patti3.jpg<br />
Image:0056-CWCPatti2.jpg|Even Patti is ashamed by chris's [[chris and fashion|get-up]]<br />
Image:0719-PattisDoghouse.JPG|Can you dig it?<br />
Image:0720-PattisDoghuseISO.JPG|"That thing had to weigh, like, five, ten tons."<br />
Image:ModNation PattiChan.jpg|Her [[Patti-chan|horrendous furfag alter ego]] as seen in [[ModNation Racers]].<br />
</gallery><br />
</center><br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Chris and death]]<br />
*[[Patti-Chan]]<br />
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Eulogy_for_Patti Patti's entry on CWCipedia]<br />
<br />
{{People}}<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Patti}}<br />
[[Category:Family Members]]<br />
[[Category:Dead]]<br />
[[Category:Pets]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Christian_Weston_Chandler&diff=153834
Christian Weston Chandler
2011-12-05T06:40:24Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>:''This article is about Chris himself. For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]].<br>''<br />
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''<br />
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{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
<br />
{{Honest}}<br />
<br />
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"<br />
|-<br />
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family<br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]<br />
|-<br />
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler<br />
|-<br />
| '''Birth Name'''<br />
| Christopher Weston Chandler<br />
|-<br />
| '''Full Name'''<br />
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler<br />
|-<br />
| '''Nicknames'''<br />
| Chris-chan<br>Chris Chan<br>[[Tomgirl Pictures|Chris Tran]]<br>[[Spanish|Ricardo Weston Chandler]]<br>CWC<br>[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]<br>Solid Chris<br>Chrissy<br>[[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]]<br>[[Carlos Chantor]]<br> [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]] <br> [[Kaka Makeup Basics|Kaka]]<br>''[[Homos|Homo]] virginicus''<br>[[Jackie Chat 6|Chunky Monkey Man]]<br>Great Director Chandler<br />
|-<br />
| '''Date of Birth'''<br />
| [[Birthday|24 February]] [[1982]] (age 29)<br />
|-<br />
| '''Gender'''<br />
| Male (1982–2011)<br>[[Tomgirl]] (2011–present)<br />
|-<br />
| '''Nationality'''<br />
| [[United States of America|American]]<br />
|-<br />
| '''Race'''<br />
| [[Chris and race|White]]<br />
|-<br />
| '''Height'''<br />
| 5'10" (1.78 m)<br />
|-<br />
| '''Weight'''<br />
| Self-reported [[WeighIn|216 lbs. (98.2 kg)]] <br />
|-<br />
| '''Parents'''<br />
| [[Bob]] (deceased)<br /> [[Barbara]]<br />
|-<br />
| '''Education'''<br />
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])<br />
|-<br />
| '''Occupation(s)'''<br />
| Freelance comic book artist/writer/videogame designer (unpublished)<br>[[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) <br>[[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]])<br>Male escort ([[2010]], unpaid)<br />
|-<br />
|}<br />
{{quote| I am the high-functioning [[autistic]] person who was heavily [[stress|emotionally damaged]], [[Art|artistic]] [[plagiarism|inspiration]] lost with [[Health|paranoia]], [[BlueSpike|deception]], [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmail]] and [[Death threats|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the [[The Wall of Originals|hand-drawing original]] [[copyrights|creator]] of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], aka Chris <ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=490#p490 Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :( ] - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals himself</ref>}}<br />
<br />
'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (''né'' '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]), is a [[autism|high-functioning autistic]] [[virgin with rage|virgin]], and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]] - sorry, [[Chris and copyright|original creation]] - starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].<br />
<br />
His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit video game franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] [[Racism|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]." <br />
<br />
In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, [[Chris and...|revealing still more disturbing facts about him.]]<br />
<br />
Yes, friends, it gets far worse. <br />
<br />
==Aliases==<br />
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|ORIGINAL IDENTITY. <br>DO NOT [[Liquid Chris|STEAL]].]]<br />
<br />
Much like the Devil, Christian Weston Chandler goes by many names. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|bear conductor]]". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". Unusually, Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".<br />
<br />
Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.<br />
<br />
He occasionally uses the names of his characters, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] and of course [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into a superheroic hedgehog himself, named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].<br />
<br />
The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Overview==<br />
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|Why do we get the feeling that he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]<br />
<br />
Chris is a timid, [[chris and his ego|self-absorbed]] little man who has been allowed - by [[Bob Chandler|his]] [[Barb|parents]] and/or his [[autism]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now approaching thirty, he is so comfortable in his pitiful existence that he refuses to conform to the rules of society, such as "you have to bathe regularly," "you can't sit in a store all day waiting for people to talk to you," and "if you keep [[dirty crapped briefs|shitting your pants]] you should be more careful when you think you're just going to fart." Although the public school system originally forced society and Chris to put up with one another, Chris is now free to stay indoors and not do anything he doesn't want to do. Accordingly, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] or had any meaningful relationship with a woman (or anyone of any gender, for that matter). <br />
<br />
Chris is completely obsessed with his character [[Sonichu]], to the point that he hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by [[trolls]] working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]].<br />
<br />
Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this with such intensity that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Oh, he also [[recycling|swallows his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]], and [[Tomgirl Pictures|proudly cross-dresses]]. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref><br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
== Early life ==<br />
<br />
In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to [[Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. He was born in the [[United States]], specifically in the state of [[Virginia]], and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in his toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until he was older. At the time, he was a pretty normal kid.<br />
<br />
===Childhood and adolescence===<br />
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]<br />
<br />
[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|Evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of a Chris-chan...in a [[Wikipedia:Pogs|pog]] form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]<br />
<br />
Chris claims his first word, "[[Fail|monkey]]", was spoken at six weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat well into his twenties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true - the language centres in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at six weeks, disregarding infantile vocal cord.<br />
<br />
An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Aspergers_(CWCipedia_article)</ref> <br />
<br />
During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl — if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).<br />
<br />
In [[1989]], noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].<br />
<br />
Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school". Chris was home-schooled through the fifth grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /><br />
<br />
At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his twelfth birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not [[IBAChandler|some elaborate troll]]. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to leverage his autism for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).<br />
<br />
<center><gallery><br />
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braindead_%28film%29 Braindead]''.<br />
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.<br />
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].<br />
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[The Creepy Stare|stare]].<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
{{collapsible<br />
|More of young Christian<br />
|<gallery><br />
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg<br />
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg<br />
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg<br />
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg<br />
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg<br />
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg<br />
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg<br />
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg<br />
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg<br />
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg<br />
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg<br />
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg<br />
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg<br />
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg<br />
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg<br />
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg<br />
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg<br />
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg<br />
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg<br />
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg<br />
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg<br />
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg<br />
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg<br />
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg<br />
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg<br />
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg<br />
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg<br />
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg<br />
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg<br />
</gallery>}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]<br />
<br />
[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]<br />
<br />
Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine horror novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].<br />
<br />
Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried like a little bitch during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref><br />
<br />
Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.<br />
<br />
{{collapsible<br />
|Chris's award-winning art work<br />
|<gallery perrow="5"><br />
<br />
Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.<br />
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.<br />
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.<br />
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.<br />
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...<br />
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.<br />
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.<br />
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.<br />
</gallery>}}<br />
<br />
===Adult Chronicles===<br />
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]]. Many women have gouged their eyes out after seeing it.]]<br />
<br />
Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|retarded newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his bullshit.<br />
<br />
Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend...allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach them or speak to them.<br />
<br />
Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud. <br />
<br />
After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]]. <br />
<br />
After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''Sonichu'', [[masturbation|masturbating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].<br />
<br />
[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]<br />
<br />
In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[Game Place|local game and card shop]]. Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.<br />
<br />
In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.<br />
<br />
It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Discovery==<br />
{{main|2007|2008}}<br />
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]<br />
<br />
{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}} <br />
<br />
Chris's rare talent was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life was never the same again.<br />
<br />
Upon learning of the "Chris-chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]] Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.<br />
<br />
In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses. <br />
<br />
The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[lulz]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to trolling Chris), which only expanded coverage of Chris's hijinks.<br />
<br />
==Chris today==<br />
{{main|2008|2009|2010|2011}}<br />
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]].]]<br />
<br />
By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naive]]te readily embraced this world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the [[CWCki]] maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot selectively ignore his own history.<br />
<br />
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]]]<br />
<br />
Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic [[Internet]] presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[Chris and fashion|striped shirts]].<br />
<br />
In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving another sweetheart ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. However, his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he retired from YouTube Chris and he later returned with new videos in [[August 2011]].<br />
<br />
[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2011]].]]<br />
<br />
Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross dressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or "[[tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris does not see his new-found femininity as being in contradiction to heterosexuality. His Love Quest is yet to have reached its end and so far he remains a virgin.<br />
<br />
In [[September 2011]], Chris's [[Bob Chandler|father]] died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[monthly tugboat|tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his [[mother]] Barbara is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her [[obesity]] is taken into account. <br />
<br />
In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. Both are expected to appear in court on [[December 2011|15 December 2011]].<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Featured fan videos==<br />
<br />
{{collapsible<br />
|Music videos about the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler<br />
|<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = The End of Chris-chan <br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lddgCHYKSG4}}<br />
| Stardate = 2 April 2009<br />
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]<br />
| Subject = <br />
| Video Type = <br />
| Other Info = <br />
}}<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = The Rebirth of Chris-chan <br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HSTicQs4Ke8}}<br />
| Stardate = 12 April 2009<br />
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]<br />
| Subject = <br />
| Video Type = <br />
| Other Info = <br />
}}<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Chris-chan is Pitiful <br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gsbzB26sQwk}}<br />
| Stardate = 2 August 2009<br />
| Maker = CreepyMcCreep<br />
| Subject = <br />
| Video Type = <br />
| Other Info = <br />
}}<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Resident Chris-chan III: Dating Ground <br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8rRi90wfvHI}}<br />
| Stardate = 1 October 2009<br />
| Maker = MewLine<br />
| Subject = <br />
| Video Type = <br />
| Other Info =<br />
}}<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = IICHH-TIPM - The 503 Faces of Chris-chan<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YHfZ9XCMUQQ }}<br />
| Stardate = 13 October 2009<br />
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]<br />
| Subject = <br />
| Video Type = <br />
| Other Info = <br />
}}<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}<br />
| Stardate = 20 November 2009<br />
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]<br />
| Subject = <br />
| Video Type = <br />
| Other Info = <br />
}}<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = "My Name Is Christian Weston Chandler" Theatrical Trailer <br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TQfvFw1GMXA}}<br />
| Stardate = 8 December 2009<br />
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/wtfdavemustaine wtfdavemustaine]<br />
| Subject = <br />
| Video Type = <br />
| Other Info = <br />
}}<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = CWC's Show Must Go On!<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HZqqFUeoaEg }}<br />
| Stardate = 12 December 2009<br />
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/Secretevilguy Secretevilguy]<br />
| Subject = <br />
| Video Type = <br />
| Other Info = <br />
}}<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = When Chris-Chan's Gone <br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DE2OOsKrvoU}}<br />
| Stardate = 3 January 2010<br />
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]<br />
| Subject = <br />
| Video Type = <br />
| Other Info = <br />
}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.<br />
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego.<br />
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].<br />
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]] - Chris's own CWCki account!<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
{{CWCipedia}}<br />
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}}<br />
<br />
<references /><br />
<br />
{{Chris and|nocat=true}}<br />
{{People}}<br />
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}<br />
<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Chris]]<br />
[[Category:Family Members]]<br />
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=A_Week_With_Christian_Chandler&diff=153833
A Week With Christian Chandler
2011-12-05T06:39:36Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
"'''A Week With Christian W. Chandler (A Self-Documentary)'''", more commonly known as "'''A Week With Christian Chandler'''", is a school report that [[Chris]] wrote to document one week in his [[high school]] life. The week documented is 29 April [[2000]] through 5 May 2000, when Chris was 18 (although Chris gives the report a [[copyright]] date of 24 April 2000). Many events are covered during these seven short days, but the most significant among them must be the creation of the cover for ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'', on which [[Sonichu]] made his first-ever appearance.<br />
<br />
The information contained within Chris's report provides valuable insight into his early years, chronicling the development of some of his current hobbies and habits. As just one example, he openly admits to falling asleep during his classes on a regular basis, foreshadowing his future inactivity and overall laziness post-college. Chris seems to have been enrolled in basic behavioral-adjustment classes, including a "coping class/study hall", but he evidently spent all of his time in these classes reading young adult books by [[Wikipedia:R.L. Stine|R.L. Stine]] instead of paying attention. Also, Chris refers to some of the other students on his school bus as "[[slow-in-the-minds]]".<br />
<br />
Chris's high school years couldn't have been as pleasant as he's portrayed them ever since.<br />
<br />
==Reproduction of The Official and Original Text==<br />
<br />
===Cover===<br />
<br />
[[Image:406-WeekWithCWC.jpg|thumb]]<br />
<br />
'''A Week With Christian Chandler'''<br />
<br />
[Photo: Chris, dressed as Ash Ketchum, poses with the now-deceased [[Patti Chandler]]. Out of focus and the print is overexposed.]<br />
<br />
[Drawing: A crude portrait of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] faces left.]<br />
<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
===Page 1===<br />
<br />
[[Image:407-CWCWeekP1.jpg|thumb]]<br />
<br />
<poem><br />
''A Week With Christian Chandler''<br />
''(A Self-Documentry)''<br />
<br />
''&copy; 4/24/2000''<br />
''April 24, 2000''<br />
<br />
[Drawing: A crude portrait of Sonic the Hedgehog faces left.]<br />
<br />
''Chandler's Publishing Co.''<br />
<br />
''Now:''<br />
''6008 Partingdale Cr.''<br />
''[[Richmond]], VA 23224''<br />
''(804)-674-9474''<br />
<br />
''As of 6/20/2000:''<br />
''[[14 Branchland Court|46 Branchland Ct.]]''<br />
''[[Ruckersville]], VA 22468''<br />
''(804)-990-0198''<br />
</poem><br />
<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
===Page 2===<br />
<br />
[[Image:408-CWCWeekP2.jpg|thumb|left]]<br />
<br />
<u>Saturday, 4/29/2000:</u><br />
<br />
On our 1st day of following Christian, we followed him as he was getting ready to go to the [[Pokemon Trading Card Game]] League at [[Books-A-Million]]. All ready to go, Christian and his mother leave for the League. On the way, they stop at B.P. gas station, so Christian could fill his sports bottle with some refreshing [[obesity|soda pop]]. After Christian enters Books-A-Million for the League, he sees someone with a rare, holographic "Team Rocket" Dark Raichu card. So he offers all his tradable holo rare cards and non-holo rare cards, but the boy did not want to trade his Dark Raichu card. After signing in with Marc, the Gym Leader, he trades a few cards, then he plays many card games. Much later, because of the release of the Team Rocket cards, now available in stores, a party was held with games and prizes. We watched as League members played a Musical Poke Ball game. A costume contest was also held; 5 people came dressed as Team Rocket members. But Christian was wearing his Ash get-up, like he usually wears every Saturday; it was originally a Halloween costume, but he thought of it as also a formal item to wear for the League. So, he entered and won 1st prize, a cool T-shirt. After receiving the T-shirt, he left for home so he could go to Ruckersville before it became dark.<br />
<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
===Page 3===<br />
<br />
[[Image:409-CWCWeekP3.jpg|thumb]]<br />
<br />
[Photo: Chris, seated on his bed, holds up a number of Pokémon trading cards. Chris is shot against the light. The print is underexposed.]<br />
<br />
- Christian is getting ready to go to the Pokemon TCG League at Books-a-Million.<br />
<br />
[Photo: Chris stares down a younger opponent, about to put his last card into play.]<br />
<br />
- Christian is playing a round of Pokemon with a fellow Trainer.<br />
<br />
[Photo: Several young League members are playing a variation of Musical Chairs.]<br />
<br />
- The League members are playing a round of Musical Poke Balls.<br />
<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
===Page 4===<br />
<br />
[[Image:410-CWCWeekP4.jpg|thumb|left]]<br />
<br />
<u>Sunday, 4/30/2000:</u><br />
<br />
On the 2nd day, Christian woke in his country home in Ruckersville. He helped his [[Barbara|mother]] by moving heavy and light boxes, furniture and stuff from the van to the house, and house to workshop. Afterwards, they loaded the van, got ready to leave and left for Richmond. On the way, they stopped at [[Country Cooking]] restaurant in Orange County for lunch. Later, they returned to Richmond, and re-unloaded their van. But, even though they worked hard today, putting and taking, there is still a lot to move back to Ruckersville.<br />
<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
===Page 5===<br />
<br />
[[Image:411-CWCWeekP5.jpg|thumb]]<br />
<br />
[Photo: Chris's bedroom appears cluttered, yet cleaner than it's been of late. Out of focus.]<br />
<br />
- This is Christian's Country Room.<br />
<br />
[Photo: [[Barbara Chandler]], looking remarkably slim, is carrying a box. Shot against the light.]<br />
<br />
- His mother is bringing in the last box from the van into the living room.<br />
<br />
[Photo: Chris's soon-to-be-former living room is completely littered with junk. ]<br />
<br />
- This is more stuff in the City living room to bring back to Ruckersville later.<br />
<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
===Page 6===<br />
<br />
[[Image:412-CWCWeekP6.jpg|thumb|left]]<br />
<br />
<u>Monday, 5/1/2000</u><br />
<br />
On the 3rd day, Christian spent an "ODD Day" at [[Manchester High School]]. The 1st class he went to was his English class with Mr. Goss. During class, Mr. Goss discussed the difference between Shakesphere's world and the real world of today. Christian rested his eyes after Mr. Goss's discussion, and before the bell rang. Next, he had Trigonometry...I'd hate to be Christian when [[DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS|his nerves kicked into action]] after waking up from a "notey" snooze cruise, but I was. Next was Computer Graphics...it was great for him today, because he got to print his own CD cover. Next was [[Spanish]] 2...he took a quiz today, but I think he feels confident in his work. And finally, after a hard "odd" day, he rides home on a bus, but unfortunately, it had a few "[[slow-in-the-minds]]" on it.<br />
<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
===Page 7===<br />
<br />
[[Image:413-CWCWeekP7.jpg|thumb]]<br />
<br />
[Photo: Two teachers are sitting in a classroom, having a chat. Chemical smudge and fingerprint in print, likely a result of putting a dirty photographic paper on enlarger.]<br />
<br />
- Mr. Goss is chatting with his fellow teacher friend.<br />
<br />
[Photo: The cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' has just been printed.]<br />
<br />
- This is Christian's CD cover after print, in the process of cutting.<br />
<br />
[Photo: Three Chesterfield County school buses await their students.]<br />
<br />
- These busses are full of nutty "[[Christian Weston Chandler|slow-in-the-minds]]."<br />
<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
===Page 8===<br />
<br />
[[Image:414-CWCWeekP8.jpg|thumb|left]]<br />
<br />
<u>Tuesday, May 2, 2000:</u><br />
<br />
On the 4th day, we follow Christian on an easier school day, an "Even Day." 1st, he went to English class...he cruised on a "Zzzz," while starting to read a "Dollhouse" story. 2nd was Photography class, but with the [[jerks|immature boys]], and getting up to develop photos, he never falls asleep in that class. 4th was Contemporary Living. Today, Mrs. Tortorella talked about eggs and microwaves, and from the eggs, I'm hungry. Which brings up lunch; on an odd day, Christian eats alone, but on even days, he is with friends: [[Tiffany]], [[Sarah Anne Bevel|Sarah]], and Brian. Brian was not there today; he went on a field trip to D.C. 6th was Coping/Study Hall. During the free time in this class, Christian likes to get into a good book. And at 1:30, our hero leaves for home on...that bus.<br />
<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
===Page 9===<br />
<br />
[[Image:415-CWCWeekP9.jpg|thumb]]<br />
<br />
[Photo: Chris discusses a class assignment with one of his teachers.]<br />
<br />
- Mr. Bayuk and Christian are looking over a test strip for proper time length check.<br />
<br />
[Photo: Chris is eating lunch with two of his best gal-pals.]<br />
<br />
- Christian is eating lunch with Tiffany and Sarah.<br />
<br />
[Photo: Chris has his nose in the spine of R.L. Stine's [http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/s/r-l-stine/in-too-deep.htm ''In Too Deep''].]<br />
<br />
- Christian is reading an [[R.L.Stine|R.L. Stine]] novel during Coping class.<br />
<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
===Page 10===<br />
<br />
[[Image:416-CWCWeekP10.jpg|thumb|left]]<br />
<br />
<u>Wednesday, May 3, 2000:</u><br />
<br />
On the 5th day, we decided to take a break from lugging the tripod around at Christian's school. But instead, we will observe the daily activities the he does at home. He likes to play his video games (i.e. [[Pokemon]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], etc....). He also likes to go onto the [[internet]] to browse for new Poke News articles and to check the status of visitors (or he updates) his website, [[CWC's PokeSite 2!]] He also likes to go swimming at the [[Homos|YMCA]] pool; he needs to cool off after a hard day anyway. He also likes to sort and look through his book of Pokemon "Trading Card Game" cards and his decks. And he also likes to express himself in his art. Then later, he brushes his teeth, takes a shower, say "good night" to his parents, watch a little [[TV]], then he goes to bed with music to relax to.<br />
<br />
[Photo: Chris is sitting in his bedroom, playing Pokémon. Severely underlit.]<br />
<br />
- Christian is playing Pokemon Stadium for [[Nintendo]] 64.<br />
<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
===Page 11===<br />
<br />
[[Image:417-CWCWeekP11.jpg|thumb]]<br />
<br />
[Photo: Chris is sitting on his bed, looking over his Pokémon cards. Shot against light.]<br />
<br />
- Christian is checking on his cards in his book and decks.<br />
<br />
[Photo: [[The Wall of Originals]], only 1/4 complete, is already huge.]<br />
<br />
- This is Christian's "Wall of Original Pokemon Cards."<br />
<br />
[Photo: Chris's cluttered room features an early version of [[CWCville]]. Underlit, probably slightly out of focus.]<br />
<br />
- This is Christian's City Room.<br />
<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
===Page 12===<br />
<br />
[[Image:418-CWCWeekP12.jpg|thumb|left]]<br />
<br />
<u>Thursday, May 4, 2000:</u><br />
<br />
On the 6th day, we followed Christian, and photographed the achievements of Christian and his friends. 1st, we noticed on the wall of the Cafeteria hallway were posters from [[CADD|Computer Graphics]] classes; one was his, and we photographed it. Next, in Christian's Contemporary Living class, he, Tiffany and Sarah were fixing filled pasta shells, garlic bread and a salad. [[obesity|Christian did not have any salad]]; lettuce or tomatoes (and [[Pickle|a few other vegetables]]) alone makes him feel green in the face. But After the bread and pasta shells were done (Christian and Sarah made the shells together) they all enjoyed a little something Italian. And during Photography class, [[Sex|he mounted a photo of his mother]] (he took and developed it himself) and later colored it.<br />
<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
===Page 13===<br />
<br />
[[Image:419-CWCWeekP13.jpg|thumb]]<br />
<br />
[Photo: Chris's "busy" Computer Graphics poster reads "Computer Graphics... Make some neat-o stuff!"[[Chris and his Ego|and has "CWC" slapped ''six times'' all over it.]] The right edge of the print is underexposed, though this is barely noticeable.]<br />
<br />
- Christian's Computer Graphics poster has a lot of Pinball action.<br />
<br />
[Photo: Two of Chris's best gal-pals are eating the salad that they made.]<br />
<br />
- Sarah and Tiffany are enjoying their green salad.<br />
<br />
[Photo: A photo of Barbara Chandler has been set in a cheap homemade frame. Corner and - in a failure so grand that it's reserved for professionals alone - a band in right side of the print is underexposed. How Chris did this, we'll never know.]<br />
<br />
- This "Mother of the Year 2000" Award will be presented to Christian's mother on the Mother's Day of 2000.<br />
<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
===Page 14===<br />
<br />
[[Image:420-CWCWeekP14.jpg|thumb|left]]<br />
<br />
<u>Friday, May 5, 2000:</u><br />
<br />
On the last day of our week-long journey, we followed Christian through one tough Friday. Christian came to school wearing a dress shirt and pants, a tie, and his cap and gown were in the bag. He went to English class, and took a vocabulary quiz. After the quiz, Christian signed the Senior Memory Book of his friend, [[Miranda Joyce Mitchell|Miranda Mitchell]]. During Trigonometry class, he took notes on SSA triangles and the Sine formula. Then in Computer Graphics class, he sketched an idea for a self portrait, and it suited the requirements. But, he'll have to wait till next class, because he needs a couple of his "home files" to start him off. In Spanish 2, he started on a test, but he did not finish it, because he had to go for the Senior Group Photo. Christian had to walk down a [[Reality#Real_Life|mile-long]] hill to the football stadium, and when he got there, he put his stuff down in the entrance, put on his cap and gown, and went to join the group of seniors. After the long wait for the pictures to be taken, being crowded like a sardine surrounded by [[JERKS|immature teenage boys]], and having the hot, hot sun shining down on him and everyone else, he went back to the shady entrance. He got his stuff, and on the way back up the hill, his bus driver drove down to tell him that she called his father and told him about Christian and the photo shoot taking so long. So Christian walked back up the hill, he became tired and sweaty. After he entered the school building, he rested in the open commons for a few minutes. Then he buzzed for his father to pick him up, got ready to go, chilled out, and got picked up by his dad. And that concludes our week-long documentary of...A Week With Christian W. Chandler, the [[autistic]] boy that has made it this far. :)<br />
<br />
[Photo: Miranda is seated at a desk. Out of focus.]<br />
<br />
- Miranda's first reaction to Christian's nice message.<br />
<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
===Page 15===<br />
<br />
[[Image:421-CWCWeekP15.jpg|thumb]]<br />
<br />
[Photo: Chris is sipping from a can of Dr Pepper.]<br />
<br />
- Christian is getting started on his lunch.<br />
<br />
[Photo: Chris is sitting at a long table, looking exhausted. Somewhat badly lit, as Chris's face is in shadow.]<br />
<br />
- Tired and sweaty from the mile-long climb in the hot sun, Christian rests for a few minutes.<br />
<br />
[Photo: Chris organizes his many Pokémon cards in his room. Extremely underexposed print, the right corner almost completely underexposed.]''<br />
<br />
- Christian is preparing his decks for the Pokemon TCG League tomorrow.<br />
<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
===Page 16===<br />
<br />
[[Image:422-CWCWeekP16.jpg|thumb|left]]<br />
<br />
<poem><br />
<u>A Week With Christian W. Chandler (A Self-Documentary).</u><br />
<br />
Christian W. Chandler.<br />
4/24/Y2K<br />
Photo., 2.<br />
</poem><br />
<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
===Page 17===<br />
<br />
[[Image:423-CWCWeekP17.jpg|thumb]]<br />
<br />
''Christian's Parents.''<br />
<br />
[Photo: [[Bob]] and [[Barbara Chandler]] pose together, nearly managing to look happy. Barbara is wearing a shirt with the logo of First North American National Bank. ''Finally,'' a well-lit and mood-evoking photograph... gloriously enlarged on dusty paper.]<br />
<br />
''Robert F. Chandler. Jr.''<br><br />
''Barbara W. Chandler.''<br />
<br />
{{Writings}}<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Week With Christian Chandler}}<br />
[[Category:Non-fiction]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_%2B_Sarah%27s_Life-Shares&diff=153832
Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares
2011-12-05T06:39:14Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
[[Image:424-CWC&SNHLifeShares.jpg|thumb|right|Dammit Chris, you have to add Sonichu to EVERYTHING.]]<br />
<br />
'''Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares''' was produced when [[Chris]] was [[2003|twenty-one years old]] for [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]'s twenty-first birthday as a present. Yes, he drew this when he was 21, not 12.<br />
<br />
This sheds light on his relationship with Sarah and provides some insight into Chris's early version of the ''Sonichu'' canon, with [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|himself]] represented by [[Sonichu]], Sarah Hammer by [[Rosechu]], and [[Wes Iseli]] by [[Blake|Black Sonichu]].<br />
<br />
In typical Chris fashion, it is highly [[Chris and his ego|self-centered]], focusing mainly on his [[autism]], his [[love quest]] and how everything that goes wrong in his life is not his fault. Despite being drawn to commemorate her life so far, Sarah is only mentioned when she occasionally crosses paths with Chris and is even then portrayed as what Chris sees as a [[Women's rights|typical female]], which is unlikely to be what Sarah was like anyway. Presumably, Sarah was not pleased to receive a booklet full of everything Chris cannot shut up about.<br />
<br />
The document mostly reads like Chris was attempting to win Sarah's affections by reminding them of the times they shared together, as well as portraying them as [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], boyfriend and girlfriend. Chris doesn't help matters along by making repeated passive-aggressive references to Sarah playing [[trolls|tricks]] on him, or by openly stating that her boyfriend [[Wes Iseli]] is "evil." There is no mention of any nice things that Sarah has done for Chris, inspiring the supposition that Sarah was actually a bully that Chris mistook for a [[gal-pal]]).<br />
<br />
Chris also seems to be under the impression that [[Wikipedia:Brad Pitt|Brad Pitt]] is a pop music star, thus reinforcing the assumption that he does not leave his room. He also (perhaps unintentionally) insults Sarah's mom by portraying her as a [[Vamprosa|vampire]].<br />
<br />
==The story==<br />
<br />
[[Image:425-CWCSNHP1.jpg|thumb|left|150px]][[Image:426-CWCSHFP2.jpg|thumb|right|150px]]<br />
<br />
'''L'''ong ago, in the year [[1982]], two soon-to-be good friends were born: <br />
<br />
February 24, 1982 - Pisces ([[I Got A Fish|Fish]]) - '''Christopher Weston Chandler'''<br />
+ <br />
October 13, 1982 - Libra ([[WeighIn|Balance]]) - '''Sarah Hammer''' <br />
<br />
Born in the same year, but not in the same city, these "young ins" were [[Autism|unique]], [[Pedofork|cute little children]].<br />
<br />
Three years later, Sarah and her family moved in next door to Christopher, and later on, the two sets of parents met each other to become friends. And Chris and Sarah found each other. [[Lil' Chris|Little Chris]] was a [[Chris and English|high-functionally]] autistic child, with<sup>out</sup> the capability of talking for a few years and socialization. But, Sarah was a spunky gal who pulled him out of [[14 Branchland Court|the house]] to play.<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
===Memories of childhood===<br />
<br />
[[Image:427-CWCSHFP3.jpg|thumb|left|150px]][[Image:428-CWCSNHP4.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Thank you, sir.<br /> That's all right, Chris.<br />(Sigh) Sarah's gonna get punished for this. >:(]]<br />
<br />
Memories of what was in Sarah's backyard, a quaint swing set, with a slide, two single swings, and a 2-player swing. Speed was the essence on the swing or slide, as well as a fun game of hide-&-seek. Sarah usually got away to the front-porch/home-base, and she got little Chris.<br />
<br />
One time, Sarah told Chris that [[Wikipedia:Casper the Friendly Ghost|Casper the Friendly Ghost]] was hiding under her house; [[Naive|he believed it]]. So Chris crawled under her house, and found cobwebs, dirt and many bugs, but no ghost. And Sarah locked him in ([[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|children do the silliest things]]). Chris was sad and scared. About half an hour (or earlier) later, her father, James, rescued the poor lad from a very dark + scary place.<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:429-CWCSNHP5.jpg|thumb|left|150px]][[Image:430-CWCSNHP6.jpg|thumb|right|150px]]<br />
Flowers between friends is a sweet thing. Sarah exposed Chris to a rather "tasty" flower, the [[Wikipedia:Honeysuckle|Honeysuckle]]. She thought, and said, that if you put the upper thing in your mouth, it would taste like honey. But, of course the parents corrected both children about its dangers. <br />
<br />
[''This probably refers to [[Wikipedia:Lonicera maackii|Lonicera maackii]], common in the eastern U.S.: the base of the flowers contain a sweet nectar, but the berries are poisonous.'']<br />
<br />
Of course, in a neighborhood, there is usually more than one family; that means more children to play with. There were Christy, [[Rosechu|Amy]], Ginger, and Jennifer. There were a few other boys as well, but they sadly moved away and were [[Metal Sonichu|forgotten]]. Many fun playtimes were had between these four girls, Sarah, and Chris. Most of the time, they all played [[Duck]], [[Duck]], [[Sex toys|Goose]].<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:431-CWCSNHP7.jpg|thumb|left|150px]]<br />
School days are usually the [[Chris and English|Golden Rule Days]], as Sarah and Chris both attended the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Greene County Schools]]. For Chris, he encountered [[Bruce Johnson|many discoveries there]], such as a pregnant office assistant, [[rape|fun in a barrell]], [[Niggos|children of other cultures]], and the fundamentals of learning + [[Dating Education|education]]. Most of the same was exposed to Sarah as well. They both always enjoyed [[McDonald's|lunchtime]], ice cream, and fun in the playground.<br />
<br />
When it comes to the Elementary School, we'll make an exception to the "Golden Rule Days," as Chris didn't have too much fun there. In a nutshell, the faculty and School Boards did not know how to handle an autistic child. So chaos ensued as [[Chris and his ego#Persecution Complex|troublesome abuse was caused by the faculty to the poor boy]]. Thus, to keep from further trouble with Greene County Schools, Chris had to leave and move to [[Chesterfield County]]. And Chris and Sarah's friendship was put on hold. (He moved Sept. [[1993]])<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
===Over the Years===<br />
[[Image:432CWCSNHP8.jpg|thumb|right|150px]]<br />
[[Fail|As far as this Narrator Knows]], this is how each friend grew up:<br />
<br />
<u>'''Christopher'''</u><br />
<br />
* Because of a conducting Bear at [[Regency Square Mall]], he had his [[Christopher's name change|name changed]] to *Christian*<br />
* He went to [[Providence Middle]], then to [[Manchester High School|Manchester High]], and graduated with [[Honor Roll]] all the way.<br />
* Made many new friends.<br />
* [[Sonichu]] + gang were first inspired at [[Manchester High School|M.H.S.]]<br />
* [[Pokémon]] became the raging fad for him<br />
* [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] became his major hero.<br />
* The [[Naïve|youngness in his heart]] lasted the many years.<br />
* He has <s>also</s> also made a [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|few websites]] that are on the internet.<br />
* He took 2 years of [[Spanish]] (Español) in M.H.S. (¡Hola, [[Ricardo]]!)<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:433-CWCSNHP9.jpg|thumb|right|150px|AAAHH!! this guy's evil!]]<br />
<u>'''Sarah'''</u><br />
<br />
* She graduated from High School as well.<br />
* She found a boyfriend named [[Wes Iseli]] (he's a [[Magi-Chan|magician]])<br />
* She developed her interests in [[Chris and music|Pop music]] and other fun things.<br />
* She grew up into a spittin' image of [[Britney Spears]] =)<br />
* She started job(s) at a place or two.<br />
* She made many more [[Friend zone|friends]].<br />
* She's still a spunky gal.<br />
* She got a Driver's License + [[Son-Chu|a car]].<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
===The Return of Chris===<br />
[[Image:434-CWCSNHP10.jpg|thumb|left|150px]]<br />
Christian moved back to [[Ruckersville]], June, [[2000]], and he enrolled into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. When Christian met the new & improved Sarah, he was surprised in how much she had changed over the years. But during his years at P.V.C.C., he was not able to interact with Sarah as much as he used to, because she was [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|living with her boyfriend]]. And thus, because he could not socialize as well as before, Christian did not meet as many friends at P.V.C.C., as compared to Manchester High. And so, he became lonesome. His [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Start_of_my_Sweetheart_Search|21st Birthday wasn't so hot either]].<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
===The Girl Next Door, Today===<br />
[[Image:435-CWCSNHP11.jpg|thumb|left|150px]]<br />
[[Image:436-CWCSNHP12.jpg|thumb|right|150px]]<br />
As of sometime before July, 2000, Sarah has been living with her boyfriend, Wes Iseli, a magician who does parties. Other than that, she works at the [[University of Virginia]]'s hospital where she checks the babies' hearing. Sarah has many [[Gal-Pals|female companions]], with whom she spends fun times with, such as trips to the mall, beach, and other places. Sarah also enjoys seeing fun movies and listening to pop stars, such as [[Wikipedia:Brad Pitt|Brad Pitt]], [[Wikipedia:N*Sync|N*Sync]] and the [[So Need a Cute Girl|Backstreet]] [[A-U-T-I-S-M|Boys]]. So, she is getting along very well.<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
===What will Come?===<br />
[[Image:437-CWCSNHP13.jpg|thumb|left|150px|"Huh?!"]]<br />
[[Image:438-CWCSNHP14.jpg|thumb|right|150px]]<br />
So, here it is, October 13, [[2003]], and what is to be expected in the future?<br />
* A [[Sonichu (comic)|clash of the Sonichus?]]<br />
* Christian getting [[Love Quest|paired with a girlfriend]]?<br />
<br />
<nowiki>*Who Knows?*</nowiki><br />
<br />
But for now, let's celebrate...<br />
<br />
HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY to Sarah!!<br />
<br />
The End?<br />
<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
==Credits==<br />
<br />
[[Image:439-CWCSNHP15.jpg|thumb|right|150px]]<br />
[[Image:440-CWCSNHP16.jpg|thumb|right|150px|P.S. Please do me.]]<br />
<u>'''Cast'''</u><br />
* Young Christopher<br />
:* [[Sonee]]<br />
* Young Sarah<br />
:* [[Rosey]]<br />
* Adult Christian<br />
:* [[Sonichu]]<br />
* Adult Sarah<br />
:* [[Rosechu]]<br />
<br />
<u>'''Narrator, Story, Art, etc...'''</u><br/><br />
Christian Chandler<br />
<br />
<u>'''Sources'''</u><br/><br />
Christian Chandler<br/><br />
[[Barbara Chandler]]<br/><br />
[[Bob Chandler|Robert Chandler]]<br/><br />
James Hammer<br/><br />
Cynthia Hammer<br/><br />
<br />
<u>'''Surprised ^<sup>Birthday</sup> Girl'''</u><br/><br />
<nowiki>*Sarah Hammer*</nowiki><br />
<br />
<nowiki>*</nowiki> All Sonichu material is [[Chris and copyright|copyrighted]] © March, [[2000]].<br />
Email: ItsameCWC@aol.com<br />
<br />
<nowiki>*</nowiki> This has been a Christian Chandler/Sonichu [[Fail|Production]].<br />
<br />
[[CWC's Sonichu Site!]] http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm<br />
<br />
A special Note from Christian to Sarah:<br />
<br />
"I hope that we can [[Hanky-Panky|hang together]] some time. But for now & forever, we will always be [[Friend zone|good friends]]!!"<br />
<br />
An original by Christian W. Chandler.<br />
<br />
October 13, [[2003]] (Done on July 21, 2003)<br />
<br />
{{Writings}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Arts and Crafts]][[Category: Non-fiction]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sonichu_4&diff=153831
Sonichu 4
2011-12-05T06:38:41Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Infobox/Comic<br />
| titleandissue = Sonichu #4<br />
| cover = issue4.jpg<br />
| coverdate = 2 November 2005<br />
| began = 24 March 2005<br />
| finishedcomic = after 2 September 2005<br />
| pagecount = 95<br />
| episodes = ''none''<br />
| sub-episodes = 1-8<br />
| previous = [[Sonichu 3|Sonichu #3]]<br />
| next = [[Sonichu 5|Sonichu #5]]<br />
}}<br />
'''''Sonichu'' #4''' is the fifth issue of the series.<br />
<br />
A departure from the previous books in both form and content, ''Sonichu'' #4 consists entirely of [[sub-episodes]] about [[Chris's]] idiotic [[Love Quest]] and other shit nobody cares about. Chris's [[narcissism]] is in full bloom here, as he reprints the first four sub-episodes (from ''Sonichu'' #0 to #3), and adds four more.<br />
<br />
Although Chris would not complete [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]] until February [[2006]], he had begun work on the new material in ''Sonichu'' #4. Sub-Episodes 5, 6, and 7 were completed during the summer of [[2005]], and Sub-Episode 8 was at least started by September 2005. Given that the events these stories are based upon happened in the summer of 2005, Chris probably had them forefront on his mind and was able to work more quickly on them than his wretched "Sonichu Babies" plot in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]. <br />
<br />
Chris has stated that [[Barbara|his mother]] told him to stop making sub-episodes<ref>[[Mailbag 3#In which Chris forgets why Barb objects to him immortalizing his failures in comics|Mailbag 3]]: "I stopped drawing those because I made a promise to my mother that I would, but I forget why she was offended by them."</ref>; this issue's format may represent an effort to get them all out of the way immediately following her edict.<br />
<br />
==Sub-Episode 1: Christian Chandler in "Jerkop-tastropie"==<br />
{{-}}<br />
{{Resources<br />
| title =Jerkop-tastropie<br />
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_1 ''Sub-Episode 1''<br />
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic5P1.htm ''Sub-Episode 1''<br />
}}<br />
{{main|Sub-Episode 1}}<br />
<br />
Reprinted from [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], the [[Jerkhief]] accuses Christian of solicitation, forcing Chris to transform into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and defend himself with the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]. <br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
==Sub-Episode 2: Christian Chandler in "The Rise & Fall of My Heart"==<br />
{{Resources<br />
| title =The Rise & Fall of My Heart<br />
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_11 ''Sub-Episode 2''<br />
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic5P6.htm ''Sub-Episode 2''<br />
}}<br />
{{main|Sub-Episode 2}}<br />
<br />
Christian meets [[Hanna]], who asks him out for coffee. While planning his wedding, Chris learns from [[Rosechu]] that Hanna is trolling him. <br />
<br />
Reprinted from ''[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]''.<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
==Sub-Episode 3: Christian Chandler & Sonichu in "Witch Confront"==<br />
{{Resources<br />
| title =Witch Confront<br />
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_19''Sub-Episode 3''<br />
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic5P10.htm ''Sub-Episode 3''<br />
}}<br />
{{main|Sub-Episode 3}}<br />
<br />
Christian attacks [[Mary Lee Walsh]], but she overpowers him and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] (in a rare cameo) has to bail his ass out. <br />
<br />
Reprinted from [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]].<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
==Sub-Episode 4: Christian Chandler in "McAttack"==<br />
{{Resources<br />
| title =McAttack Part 1<br />
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_27 ''Sub-Episode 4''<br />
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic5P14.htm ''Sub-Episode 4''<br />
}}<br />
{{main|Sub-Episode 4}}<br />
<br />
Christian loiters at a [[McDonald's]] for so long that he is attacked by no fewer than three [[manajerk]]s. <br />
<br />
Reprinted from [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]].<br />
<br />
===Advertisements===<br />
While the CWCipedia version is presented without advertisements between features, the older version on [[CWC's Sonichu Site]] recycles the ads for [[MySpace]] and [[Axe]] between Sub-Episodes 4 and 5.<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
==Sub-Episode 5: Christian Chandler in "McAttack Part 2"==<br />
{{Resources<br />
| title =McAttack Part 2<br />
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_41 ''Sub-Episode 5''<br />
| videobook =Sonichu_4_Official_Videobook#Sub-Episode_5{{!}}''Sub-Episode 5''<br />
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic5P22.htm ''Sub-Episode 5''<br />
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtBWmuOrnJo ''Sub-Episode 5''<br />
}}<br />
Continuing from [[Sub-Episode 4]], the [[W-M-Manajerk]] immediately blasts [[Chris]] into a soda fountain, drenching him with cola. In an unprecedented moment, Chris decides that he will need to bathe, and takes a "CWC" shower that lasts exactly three seconds (He seems to think this is impressive). Christian charges W-M, but he catches our hero and holds him high in the air. Just as Chris is wondering if anything can defeat W-M-Manajerk, his ancestor, the [[ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]], appears before him with advice concerning Chris's [[Heart Torch]]:<br />
<br />
{{quote|...combined with your powers, you can use it to summon your dream sibling! She will be able to help you, much better than your mother even! Farewell, Chris!}}<br />
<br />
Christian realizes that his ancestor is referring to the twin sister he has dreamed of having and has depicted in his shitty homemade ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' cards. Emulating [[Wild Sonichu]]'s power of growth, Chris momentarily [[obesity|grows so large that he breaks loose of the Manajerk's grip]], and lands on the opposite side of the restaurant from his Hearth Torch. Dashing past enemy fire, he retrieves the totem, and summons [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] into reality. Seeing that Crystal has a Rosechu medallion, Chris realizes that she possesses the same [[anchuent powers]] as he does, and they transform into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and [[Crystalina Rosechu]]. <br />
<br />
Together they assault the W-M-Manajerk with Mirror Coat, Reflect and Double Corkscrew Kick. Once he is down, they finish the job by combining Chris's [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] and Crystalina's Shocking Tiara Magic to decapitate him. It is only after they separate W-M-Manajerk's head from his body that they realize he can survive in this state, suggesting that the twins' intent was to murder him. While [[B-Manajerk]] and [[Merried Seinor Comic]] decide they should retreat, W-M-Manajerk confesses that he is from the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] and that he was sent by [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Christian and Crystal decide to punt the disembodied head all the way back to PVCC, where it strikes Walsh on the head, knocking her unconscious.<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
==Sub-Episode 6: "Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari"==<br />
{{Resources<br />
| title =Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari<br />
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_55 ''Sub-Episode 6''<br />
| videobook =Sonichu_4_Official_Videobook#Sub-Episode_6{{!}}''Sub-Episode 6''<br />
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic5P29.htm ''Sub-Episode 6''<br />
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gF0mGGPtHbA ''Sub-Episode 6''<br />
}}<br />
[[Image:CWCFinger.jpg|thumb|"Sonichu MAH BOI, this China is what all true autistic virgins strive for!" ]]<br />
Christian presents a documentary on the various [[jerkop]]s he has encountered during his [[Love Quest]], with a profile on the [[Jerkhief]]. It's during this profile that he mentions that a Jerkop's badge is just a [[Wikipedia:Graham cracker|graham cracker]] painted yellow. The [[Jerkhief]]'s, however, is made of wood. Somehow, this is supposed to explain the Jerkhief's "delicious" wooden badge on the cover.<br />
<br />
He then relates an incident in which he was hanging out with his [[gal pal]]s when a "tribe of jerkops," led by the Jerkhief, harass them. In the story Chris stands his ground; however, the battle is interrupted by [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal]], emerging from a changing room in a new outfit. With the jerkops dazed by her ravishing beauty, Chris gets an idea to channel [[Magi-Chan]]'s powers to psychically disarm all the jerkops and arrange them like bowling pins, so that he can use the Jerkhief like a bowling ball. But first he makes a long, boring speech:<br />
{{quote|You're not getting to me; no matter what you may try in attempt or threat, [[Chris and the Law#understanding|I will hang out wherever I want, when I want, and how I want]]! And I will never quit in my search for a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]] either! So, all you Jerkops may as well go back to the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], and tell [[Mary Lee Walsh]] that if she is still intent on shattering my heart again, she can't! My heart is indestructible, and the more you haze me, I will grow stronger. Beware, eve for in the name of my heart, soul and [[Love Quest]], [[Sailor Moon|I will punish you!]]}}<br />
<br />
Chris concludes his documentary by explaining how the jerkops use a hypno-gun to brainwash slow-minded persons to their cause, thereby replenishing their numbers. While watching the conclusion of the program, [[Scotpalazzo]] decides to order more jerkops from PVCC to oppose Christian.<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
==Sub-Episode 7: Christian Chandler in "Off-Target"==<br />
{{Resources<br />
| title =Off-Target Part 1<br />
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_65 ''Sub-Episode 7''<br />
| videobook =Sonichu_4_Official_Videobook#Sub-Episode_7{{!}}''Sub-Episode 7''<br />
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic5P34.htm ''Sub-Episode 7''<br />
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdr-w1TNO60 ''Sub-Episode 7''<br />
}}<br />
A flashback reveals how Christian and [[Saramah Rosechu]] defeated Mary Lee Walsh some months ago; [[Graduon]] vows to destroy Christian with the strongest, most evil villain ever.<br />
<br />
In the present day, Walsh and Graduon give [[Bagget]] his first assignment, to attack Christian at the [[Get-Tar Region]]. Using a squad of jerkops and his [[Transformers|Change-Bot]] Crackder, Bagget defeats Chris. Bagget's success is less a matter of his superior skill or strategy than the fact that for once no one arrives in the nick of time to rescue Chris--Crystal is unable to fight through the crowd of shoppers to help. In the cliffhanger, Crackder drops Chris from an astonishing height of at least ten feet.<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
==Sub-Episode 8: Christian Chandler in "Off-Target Part 2"==<br />
{{Resources<br />
| title =Off-Target Part 2<br />
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_79 ''Sub-Episode 8''<br />
| videobook =Sonichu_4_Official_Videobook#Sub-Episode_8{{!}}''Sub-Episode 8''<br />
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic5P41.htm ''Sub-Episode 8''<br />
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6SOh0iDGgE ''Sub-Episode 8''<br />
}}<br />
[[Image:Letsdoit.JPG|thumb|left|Will Chris lose his virginity at last?]]<br />
Continuing from Sub-Episode 7, Chris's fall is broken by one of Crystal's telekinetic powers. The jerkops decide to dog-pile on Chris, hogtying him and going out of their way to give him severe carpet burns on his face. As Crystal watches on, inexplicably helpless to act, Chris is ferried away by Crackder to PVCC, marking the first time the villains have ever actually subdued ''and'' captured him. <br />
<br />
While Crystal tracks Bagget as [[Crystalina Rosechu]], Chris is presented before Mary Lee Walsh, hogtied on a silver platter with an apple in his mouth. After pointlessly re-enacting the trial scene from ''[[Wikipedia:The Transformers: The Movie|The Transformers: The Movie]]'', Walsh and the Jerkhief drop Chris in a vat of indeterminate liquid. Chris is finally rescued by Crystalina, who saves him from falling into... something, and battles Walsh's forces singlehandedly. Without the power to help his sister, Christian experiences another vision of his ancestor, who offers words of encouragement to re-energize him. Finally able to transform into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], Chris and his sister form up as [[Chrs-Chan Pure]] and use the [[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance]] to destroy the crystal ball maintaining Walsh's control of PVCC. Walsh and Graduon escape to [[Manchester High School]] to rebuild their power base.<br />
<br />
===Back Cover===<br />
As with [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]], early editions feature the personal army request page, while the most recent CWCipedia version features ''[[Sonichu Adventure]]''.<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
<center>{{collapsible<br />
|Issue 4<br />
|<gallery perrow="5"><br />
Image:issue4.jpg|Cover<br />
Image:AltSonichu4.jpg|Bizarro World Cover<br />
File:SchuComic4Page01.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page02.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page03.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page04.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page05.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page06.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page07.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page08.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page09.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page10.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page11.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page12.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page13.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page14.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page15.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page16.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page17.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page18.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page19.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page20.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page21.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page22.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page23.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page24.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page25.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page26.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page27.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page28.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page29.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic4Page30.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComicFreeBack.jpg|Early Back Cover<br />
Image:Sonichu Adventure for Gamecube.jpg|Revised Back Cover<br />
</gallery>}}</center><br />
<br />
==See Also==<br />
{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu Comic Collection|linkname=the Sonichu Comic Collection}}<br />
*[[W-M-Manajerk]]<br />
*[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)]]<br />
*[[Jerkhief]]<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
[[Category: Sonichu comic book issues]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Dating_education&diff=153830
Dating education
2011-12-05T06:38:12Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|Date Ed, but not Dated... get it!?]]<br />
{{quote|Those who are unable to, teach.|[[CWC]]|<ref>[[Mumble 4]]</ref>}}<br />
'''Dating Education''' is [[Chris]]'s term for the formal instruction he believes should be provided to instruct people on how to date. As with "Sex Ed," Chris abbreviates dating education to "'''Date Ed'''," and frequently makes use of (alleged) joke that the idea of "Date Ed" sounds "Dated."<br />
__TOC__<br />
==In Real Life==<br />
{{quote|As I have proposed the idea in my adult life within my Sonichu Comic Books, and a bit before then, High Schools SHOULD have Dating Education Classes along with the Sexual Education Classes. In my humble opinion, Sex ED is fine for AFTER 3 or so DATES, but HOW DO WE EVEN GET TO THE FIRST DATE?!!! If I had the Dating Education back then, I wouldn't have to had suffered being a frustrated virgin for soo many years.|CWC|<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Dating education|Wikipedia autobiography]]</ref><br />
}}<br />
<br />
Had Chris not been sleeping or reading ''Goosebumps'', he might have noticed that real Sex Ed courses don't provide a step-by-step description of how to [[China|pound tom-toms]], but rather a source of reference for responsible sexual behaviors and some of the relevant biology. Chris seems to assume that the course provided the same educational experience he believes that he has acquired from pornography, as opposed to a run-down on STDs and contraception. An educational experience so useful that Chris even suggested that [[Megan]] could use a refresher, hinting that it would make her feel better about being violated in vivid Crayola color:<br />
<br />
{{quote|The point is allowing yourself more exposure to sex acts to make yourself feel more comfortable with that fact of life.|CWC|<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
His proposed class depends on a concept that has no worldly counterpart. In short, Chris is an idiot and has no idea how anything works.<br />
<br />
Consistent with both his [[autism]] and his own unique resistance to learning, Chris tries to seek out clear, direct steps in social interactions where his natural instincts and social skills (or lack thereof) fail him. In fact, his schools most assuredly did have "Coping Skills" instruction in their [[Wikipedia:Special education|special education curriculum]], which he was required to attend. Sadly, though he has be exposed to:<br />
<br />
*Special Education<br />
*[[Rocky Shoemaker|Pastoral Counseling]]<br />
*Psychology and Psychiatry<br />
*God AND the Bear<br />
<br />
...none of them can offer him the checklist of winning moves that he believes exists (but that has been kept from him). So really, it's entirely his fault that he has no idea how to act around other humans, much less eligible women. For the record, Chris considers Date Ed to be one of his top three inventions<ref>[[Mailbag 1#Chris the inventor]]</ref>&mdash;right behind the ''Sonichu'' Universe and a Lego contraption for carrying [[Pokémon]] cards. <br />
<br />
==In ''Sonichu''==<br />
:''Main Article: [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19|Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)]]''<br />
<br />
Depending on how charitable your mood is, you might argue that Chris's idea for Date Ed is ''stupid'' but not ''insane.'' That is to say that it makes sense for Chris to want some guidance, and to extrapolate that to mean that other people want the same. But then you read ''Sonichu'' Episode 19, and you witness the insanity of DAT 303. DAT 303 is a thinly veiled matchmaking service, with a side order of Sex Ed. It boggles the mind to picture what DAT 101 or 404 might look like. Consider the following:<br />
<br />
*Everyone who took this class did so in hope of being paired up with a potential mate. IN THIS CLASS.<br />
*The class was split perfectly 50% male, 50% female.<br />
*On the off chance that there was a spare student, the professor expressly states that she herself won't be paired up with anybody, because it conflicts with both regulations AND her current relationship. Dear reader, if this class was just about learning to socialize, why would it matter?<br />
*The students are given dolls of the opposite sex, to practice their communication skills. ''THE DOLLS ARE CALLED ROBERT AND BARBARA.''<br />
*Everybody hooks up. Except, it would seem, for "[[Clyde Cash|Clyde Cwash]]," who only got a 65% in the class.<br />
<br />
==DAT 303==<br />
===Course Syllabus===<br />
'''Rationale''':<br />
{{quote|Dating Education Classes can best enforce the Natural Man-and-Woman Pairings/Couples; the homosexual count would be reduced.|CWC|<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article|CWCipedia]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
'''Required Text''': ''[[How to Talk to Girls]]'' by Alec Greven<br />
<br />
'''Materials Provided:''' Robert and Barbara Dolls; iDate Software<br />
<br />
'''Core concepts''':<br />
*Staying [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|cool under pressure]]<br />
*Being [[Friend Zone|friends first]] and letting the relationship grow organically<br />
*The etiquette of romance: asking before [[Megan|touching]] or [[Emily|kissing]]<br />
<br />
'''Methodology:''' <br />
*Students are paired up by the teacher over the internet anonymously and then eventually reveal themselves and fall in love in person. <br />
*Students will be required to regularly do short transcripts of imaginary conversations their dolls. <br />
<br />
===Final Exam===<br />
{{collapsible|Final Exam|<br />
Name_________________ Date__________<br />
<br />
<br>1. About _% of regular girls ditch boys, and _% of pretty girls ditch boys <br />
<br>A. 10/100 B. 50/50 C. 73/98 D. 75/13<br />
<br />
<br>2. Which of the follow characteristics attract your opposite gender best?<br />
<br>A. Class Clown B. Full Show-Off C. Silent - Types D. None of the Above<br />
<br />
<br>3. When is an appropriate time to ask for a phone number?<br />
<br>A. Upfront B. Middle of Converstation [sic] C. End of Enjoyable Conversation<br />
<br />
<br>4. Boys can be like magnets, and girls the metal, when the boy is confident, honest, and smart.<br />
<br>A. True B. False<br />
<br />
<br>5. When there should be a girl for every boy, all people of your opposite gender is already taken by some other dude or gal.<br />
<br>A. True B. False<br />
<br />
<br>6. If the relationship or crush doesn't work out, you...<br />
<br>A. Worry B. Move On C. Cry and Pout D. None of the above<br />
<br />
<br>7. How should you approach the person of your opposite gender if you are really shy?<br />
<br>A. As a Friend First B. Run Away C. With [[Hanky panky|Hankey]] in Mind D. Send Someone Else<br />
<br />
<br>8. If she/he gives you a wrong number, try harder on that person.<br />
<br>A. True B. False<br />
<br />
<br>9. To keep your girl/guy liking you, you should...<br />
<br>A. Keep Clean B. Act Normal C. Show off A skill D. All of the Above<br />
<br />
<br>10 Essay Question.<br />
<br>From Approach to the end of the conversaion [sic], list a 10-step approach in walking to and talking to people of your opposite gender.<br />
<br />
<nowiki>**</nowiki>FOR ALL Sonichu & Rosechu Site VISITORS AND COMIC READERS**<br />
<br />
YOU MAY TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELF AND IF YOU DO, FEEL FREE TO COPY THIS IMAGE, PRINT IT OUT, AND TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELVES. THEN E-MAIL ME YOUR ANSWERS, VERBATIM, ESPECIALLY THE ESSAY QUESTION AND I WILL GRADE IT HONESTLY.<br />
}}<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
===Answer Key===<br />
{{collapsible|Answer Key|<br />
<center>Multiple Choice</center><br />
# C<br />
# D<br />
# C<br />
# A<br />
# B<br />
# B<br />
# A<br />
# B<br />
# D<br />
<center>Free Response</center><br />
<br />
&#42;&#42;This was an Open Question with Multiple Answer Variation depending on person writing the essay.<br /><br />
&#42;&#42;Here is what I feel is the BEST EXAMPLE of an answer from Chi-Chian of the PSN; Congratuations! &#61;D<br />
<br />
1. Aprroach the boy<br /><br />
- "Hi, what's up!"<br />
<br />
2. Get the name<br /><br />
- "I'm Alex, what are you called?"<br />
<br />
3. Find out more, get his interest<br /><br />
- "So what are you into? What music do you like? Seen any good movies lately?"<br />
<br />
4. Give feedback, get opportunities for him to ask questions and get interested<br /><br />
- "I'm into anime (my favorite is Puni Puni Poemy, by the way - Kobayashi Poemi is so funny!!). I’ve seen that movie too! I like that actor."<br />
<br />
5. Give interest/compliments back<br /><br />
- "I love your haircut (t-shirt, belt. etc)! What's that cologne?"<br />
<br />
6. Get more intimate details<br /><br />
- "So how old are you? Come here often? You from around here?"<br />
<br />
7. Food is a conversation foundation<br /><br />
- "Can we go get lunch/dinner? Can you buy me something to drink?<br />
(I think a gentleman should buy the lady a drink. although I don't drink alcohol or smoke)."<br />
<br />
8. At the food place you can expand on the themes previously discussed, such as art,<br />
music or cinema. but allow the boy to talk as well, support him if he gets<br />
shy or stumped.<br />
<br />
9. A walk to help with digestion. Usually there's a couple of shops around<br />
in crowded places, so you can always visit a couple together. Not necesserily<br />
buying anything, just browsing. A bookshop or a music/video store<br />
is always a good choice.<br />
<br />
10. Alter the walk it‘s time to go, but this is where the telephone trade-offshould start.<br /><br />
- "It"s been really cool talking and walking with you and I'd like to do it again sometime."<br />
<br />
&#42;&#42;Chi-Chian wrote and submitted her answers via e-mail, April 13, 2009.<br /><br />
&#42;&#42;CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER WROTE THIS EXAM ON APRIL 11, 2009}}<br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
<gallery><br />
Image:SchuComic9P30.jpg|Final Exam as written by Chris in episode 19.<br />
Image:SchuComic9P105.jpg|Answers to the multiple choice.<br />
Image:SchuComic9P106.jpg|Answers to the essay question.<br />
</gallery><br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references /><br />
<br />
==See Also==<br />
{{CWCipedia|chris=Dating Education}}<br />
[[Sonichu 9]]<br />
[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article]<br />
<br />
==External Links==<br />
<br />
*[http://www.mybuzzquiz.com/en_US/actions/PlayQuiz.do?fileID=310722 Abridged MyBuzz Quiz version of the exam]<br />
<br />
{{CWC-isms}}<br />
[[Category:CWC-isms]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Butt_garments&diff=153829
Butt garments
2011-12-05T06:37:45Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Honest}}<br />
<br />
'''Butt garments''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for diapers, which are used to prevent [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]] (or [[Wikipedia:encopresis|endocrepsis]], where one unintentionally shits themselves). He most likely calls them "butt garments" to avoid the embarrassment of wearing diapers, despite the fact that he desperately needs them. Chris hated the idea of wearing diapers, and made multiple attempts to throw out the diapers before [[Barb]] caught on and hid them away in her room.{{cite}}<br />
<br />
==Discovery==<br />
On 16 [[April 2009]], images of Chris in diapers leaked, with a special shout-out to spas from [[Sonichu (IRC channel)|#sonichu]]. Chris later stated in [[ECV 00095]] that the butt garments were sent to him by a [[troll]]. According to [[Ivy]]'s ghost, Barbara mistook them for samples of adult diapers sent by Chris's doctor, who had been trying to convince Chris to start wearing them. <br />
<br />
After Ivy found out that Chris was cheating on him with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], one of her friends suggested that he take the photos below to apologize to Ivy. The front reads "TOO HOT FOR COLLECTION," in case you don't want to stare at it for too long. This appears to have been the last time they were ever mentioned. Presumably, they are still sitting around Barbara's bedroom.<br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
<center><br />
<gallery><br />
Image:Ecp00063.jpg<br />
Image:HelloSpas.jpg<br />
Image:Ecp00065.jpg<br />
Image:Ecp00066.jpg<br />
</gallery><br />
</center><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]<br />
*[[Chris and health]]<br />
<br />
{{stub}}<br />
{{CWC-isms}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:CWC-isms]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Semen&diff=153828
Semen
2011-12-05T06:37:26Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Honest}}<br />
[[Image:CWCcomeuppancemedallion.JPG|thumb|right|250px|The closest [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] will ever get to touching the [[Medallion|Medallion of Fail]].]]<br />
<br />
'''Semen''' is the fluid secreted by the gonads of males to impregnate females. [[Christian Weston Chandler]] has many misconceptions about its purpose. <br />
<br />
Despite being "[[honest]]" about [[sex]], Chris is sometimes uncomfortable saying "semen" and occasionally uses his own unique bowdlerized terms, such as "'''comeuppance'''" or "'''navy'''." <br />
<br />
==Comeuppance==<br />
<br />
In the context of sex (especially oral) with his [[TRUE and HONEST]] [[sweetheart]], Chris refers to DROPPIN' FUCKIN' LOADS as "comeuppance," as seen here:<br />
<br />
{{quote|Uh, it just feels so good, unngghh, and because me being a [[virgin]], I would let you keep your mouth over my penis and then sooner than expected, I '''feel my comeuppance''' and I come into your mouth, my semen is inside your mouth and you'd swallow every drop.|Chris, "My First Time"<ref name="Chris_Sex_Logs#I_am_perverted">[[Chris_Sex_Logs#I_am_perverted]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|Yeah, and I'm just gonna keep bangin' your BREASTS OVER AND OVER AGAIN until you get the first DOSAGE of my comeuppance!|Chris, [[Kacey Phone Call]]}}<br />
<br />
Chris presumably coined the term because a) ejaculate is called "come," b) it goes "up" when it comes out of his bent [[duck]], and c) he's an idiot. However, this created a shitstorm when his sex tapes dropped, because [[Wikipedia:Webster's Dictionary|Webster's]] defines comeuppance as "a deserved rebuke or penalty."<ref>http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/comeuppance</ref> While Chris most likely heard this word and thought it would make a clever euphemism for "cum", the true meaning and its context seems to suggest an eerie [[Wikipedia:Freudian slip|Freudian slip]]. <br />
<br />
===A tasty treat===<br />
[[File:GotMilk.jpg|thumb|200px|... I don't think you need a caption.]]<br />
Chris believes that whatever he eats changes the flavor of semen, which may have some basis in fact.<ref>http://ezinearticles.com/?Sperm-Taste---10-Simple-Tips-For-Better-Tasting-Semen&id=164106</ref> However, what makes this ridiculous is that Chris thinks his semen will taste ''exactly'' like whatever he eats. He has indicated that he would strive for flavored comeuppance so his sweetheart/cum dumpster would savor the taste. In the sex tape audio, Chris presented the following scenario to [[PandaHalo]]:<br />
<br />
{{quote|I would have eaten so much [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|chocolate]], that day beforehand, and it would taste so yummy to you, probably like white chocolate. You'd swallow that.|Chris<ref name="Chris_Sex_Logs#I_am_perverted"/>}}<br />
<br />
In subsequent chats with [[Julie]], this fantasy was revised so that his comeuppance would taste like [[Wikipedia:strawberry|strawberries]].<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref><br />
<br />
Coincidentally, sweets and other unhealthy foods are known to make semen taste even worse than usual. Chocolate is one of the worst offenders.<br />
<br />
==Recycling==<br />
<br />
{{quote|Mmm! Goes down salty.|Chris}}<br />
<br />
Another tidbit revealed in the sex tapes was that when Chris [[mass debate|masturbates]] he makes sure to ejaculate into a [[Fapcup|plastic cup]], to avoid making a mess.<ref>[[Chris Sex Logs#Chris on Masturbation and the Sex Joke]]</ref> Shortly after this news broke, talk began to grow that Chris actually drinks from this cup. <br />
<br />
The initial assumption, given Chris's hard stance on [[homos]], was that Chris was a devout, fundamentalist Christian and therefore had a rigid interpretation of the Biblical story of [[Wikipedia:Onan|Onan]]<ref>http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2205/what-exactly-was-the-sin-of-onan</ref> (This was before we found out Chris wouldn't know anything about the Bible unless he heard it on ''[[Family Guy]]''). Eventually the real reason was discovered: Chris believes that by ingesting his own sperm he can "recycle" it, so that none of his potential children are lost, and so that his "semen count" (presumably he meant "sperm count") remains high, as though everyone is born with a finite number of sperm that they can eventually run out of if they don't swallow more.<br />
<br />
For a time there was no concrete evidence to support this outrageous claim, so Chris wisely decided to confirm it as fact. Multiple times.<br />
<br />
[21:08] [11:36:35 AM] Sarah Cassandra McKenzie says: have you ever tasted your own semen<br />
[21:08] [11:37:42 AM] Christopher C.W.C. says: KEEP IT SECRET, but I actually have; I recycle my semen <br />
until I get together with my Sweetheart (you) for the first time.<br />
[21:08] [11:38:10 AM] Sarah Cassandra McKenzie says: ohhhh.. so that's why you do it in a cup<br />
[21:08] [11:38:38 AM] Christopher C.W.C. says: yes; after recycle, I rinse the cup and dispose of it.<br />
[21:10] [11:40:03 AM] Sarah Cassandra McKenzie says: where did you come up with the idea of swallowing <br />
your own semen to recycle it after you cummed? Was it on a sex site or your own idea?<br />
[21:10] [11:40:13 AM] Christopher C.W.C. says: MY OWN IDEA.<br />
[21:12] [11:41:23 AM] Christopher C.W.C. says: IMHO, it's often unsatisfying to me upon swallowing, <br />
because it's not being truly enjoyed by my Sweetheart.<br />
<br />
FACT: If swallowing is "often unsatisfying" for Chris, that means that sometimes [[homo|it ''is'' satisfying]].<br />
<br />
Not convinced? Try this:<br />
<br />
{{quote|Uh, no, I don't think so, uh, because I've done that [drinking semen after masturbating], it's called "recycling it." Yeah, so it's basically recycling so, like uh, so he doesn't necessarily lose it. I mean, 'cause you know, if you think of it as a waste if you banged it out and then you, uh and then you flushed it down the commode or leave it in the condom in the garbage can...Though personally, I've been getting sick of swallowing my own, so lately I've been disposing of them.|Chris, [[Mumble 8|Mumble chat, 17 February 2009]]}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:Recycle.jpg|thumb|right|Yes, he really does it...]]<br />
<br />
In case you still don't believe it, Chris made a [[April 16 Fetish Vids|video]] for [[Ivy]] of himself drinking his jizz, which [[Clyde Cash]] leaked on 16 April 2009.<ref>http://www.slutload.com/watch/M20g7MWCNa5/Chris-chan-Fanta-and-Cum.html</ref> Chris had previously alleged that his semen would take on the flavor of any sort of fruits or sweets he recently consumed. So eating strawberries would lead to strawberry flavored semen and eating chocolate would lead to chocolate flavored semen. Ivy wanted him to test this theory. She requested he drink his semen and compare it to chocolate syrup. In the video, Chris explains that he doesn't have any chocolate milk [sic] handy. Instead, he mixed it with some orange Fanta, completely missing the point of her request was to compare the flavor.<br />
<br />
Just to make sure everyone on Earth knows about it, Chris later made a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video]] admitting and justifying the existence of the cum-guzzling footage.<br />
<br />
{{quote|I recycle my own semen, because, uh, you know, yes I do masturbate--I'm not ashamed to admit it--as a lot of guys, I'm sure, have done the same thing in their time. Anyway, uh, basically I--yeah, into the cup and--yeah, I recycle it. So that that way I won't lose any, uh, unborn children. So then I can--then I can also still have a good number of...a good semen count. Keep maintain that by recycling it.|Chris, defending the rights of the unborn, 28 April 2009}} <br />
<br />
Chris has some advice for all you men out there too:<br />
<br />
{{quote|And depending on the taste of it, uh, to the original owners...of the--their respective semen, uh, it's a good idea to recycle, but if, uh, you don--if you don--if you feel uncomfortable, uh, doing it or it tastes bad to you, then, uh, then you don't have to do it.|Chris, giving everyone his permission to not swallow semen, 28 April 2009}}<br />
<br />
Questions remain about his recycling plan. If he doesn't want to lose even a single unborn child, does that mean he plans to eventually father millions of children? Is he really dumb enough to believe his navy will survive digestion? (That's a rhetorical question.) And what happens to the comeuppance he wants to leave in his sweetheart's mouth &mdash; does that magically teleport back where it came from, or can women get pregnant from oral sex? Sadly, these questions will never be answered, as Chris will never actually deposit his semen anywhere except his own throat (or [[Kimmi]]'s plastic [[china]].)<br />
<br />
In the Kacey calls, Chris has also suggested interest in drinking his semen for arousal: <br />
{{quote|And then you know what, I'm going to lick it, I'm gonna lick it off your face, and then we're gonna share it in our tongue like tongue sharing MOMENT!|Chris, [[Kacey Phone Call]], after describing how he would titfuck Kacey}}<br />
{{Clear}}<br />
<br />
In [[Mailbag 30]], Chris announced that he had [[Mailbag_30#Chris quit guzzling cum|kicked the habit]], although the validity of this statement is questionable at best, considering his [[List of Chris's lies|track record]] for telling the truth.<br />
<br />
When [[Bob]] described a youthful adventure (c. [[Pre-1980#1940s|1948]]) from his youth to [[Emily]], Chris blurted out ''" I'd been hanging around in hi- inside him while he was taking that trip!"''<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>, which implies that he believes the sperm cell that became him in mid-1981 had existed for over thirty years, and had presumably been ejaculated and recycled by his father many, many times.<br />
<br />
== Sources ==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Mass debating]]<br />
*[[April 16 Fetish Vids]]<br />
<br />
[[Category:Physical characteristics]][[Category:Things Chris likes]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Adam_Stackhouse&diff=153827
Adam Stackhouse
2011-12-05T06:37:04Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{quote|<nowiki>*</nowiki>The EX-Winner, Adam Stackhouse, was DISQUALIFIED on the grounds of violating the Official Rules on TWO COUNTS: <br />
-He Had Licensed BeatBox Music playing from a licensed BoomBox. <br />
<br>-He Had his SISTER ILLEGALLY in the video without authorized consent.|Chris's version of the rules}}<br />
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"<br />
|-<br />
! colspan="2" | Trolls<br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" | [[Image:AdamStackhouse.jpg|250px]]<br />
|-<br />
! colspan="2" |Adam Stackhouse<br />
|-<br />
| '''Gender'''<br />
| Male<br />
|-<br />
| '''Nationality'''<br />
| [[United States of America|American]]<br />
|-<br />
| '''Race'''<br />
| [[Chris and race|White]]<br />
|-<br />
| '''Siblings'''<br />
| Anna Stackhouse<br />
|-<br />
| '''Occupation(s)'''<br />
| Filmmaker<br>Cockblocker<br />
|-<br />
|}<br />
<br />
'''Adam Stackhouse''' was the winner of the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] ''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]'' contest. [[Chris]] felt that he should have won, and thus harbored a grudge against him.<br />
<br />
In order to win, Chris orchestrated a mass spamming of votes via dummy sockpuppet accounts, so that he would not only win a [[PSP]] for his then love interest [[Megan]], but also claim the prize of an all-expenses-paid trip for two to the [[2007]] [[Wikipedia:Penny Arcade Expo|Penny Arcade Expo]]. He had hoped to bring Megan on the trip and eventually make love to her in their shared hotel room, losing his "[[virgin with rage]]" moniker once and for all. As a result, Adam had inadvertently cock-blocked Chris, by simply being more talented.<br />
<br />
In a huge display of [[hypocrisy]], Christian wanted to get back at Adam for cheating, as he used more than one person in his video (in a rather nice display of family, Stackhouse's little sister has a role, which Chris believed was illegal, even though Adam does all the singing) and used music in the background (which didn't count as it was [[Wikipedia:beatboxing|beatboxing]], even though Chris believed it was a [[Wikipedia:Boombox|boombox]]). Chris ignored the fact that not only had he himself also cheated by registering many fake accounts to vote for himself, and also blackmailed his [[Cole Smithey|half-brother]] into voting for him as well.<br />
<br />
Chris was so angry about the outcome of the contest that he created a fake webpage proclaiming himself the victor.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref> He also created a [[CWC is Angry|creepy video]] in which he repeatedly shot a photo of Adam and his sister in silence with a [[Megatron Pistol|toy gun]].<br />
<br />
Adam Stackhouse is the complete opposite of Chris. Evidence to prove this is the fact that he graduated as [[Wikipedia:Valedictorian|valedictorian]] of his graduating class in college.<ref>http://web.wm.edu/news/archive/index.php?id=3657</ref> <br />
<br />
==Adam's entry==<br />
<br />
Adam's entry shows that if he and Chris could put their differences aside, they could become true friends. <br />
<br />
<center>{{#ev:youtube|lA84b9eCyZA}}</center><br />
<br />
{{quote|Number 2: From adamstackhouse; Video1: It's okay, if you like someone making the music in the background. It took away pops from the rappin of the two cooks. And adding seafood like in the song to the cake... are you kidding? They should have done it without the noise; it's in da rules. A petite comical moment comes around with an empty plate for no sample and turning off the [[TV]] after "thinking about it". I give it 4/5 Stars for moderate effort.|Chris in [[PSN Blogs]] in July 2007}}<br />
<br />
==Chris's opinion of Adam==<br />
<br />
{{quote|My previously submitted PaRapper the Rapper "Master Onion A-La Mode" Video is among the TOP TEN to win the GRAND PRIZE.<br><br />
AAARRRGGGHHH!!! That stupid, no-good ADAM STACKHOUSE won the trip!!! He had MUSIC and MORE THAN ONE PERSON IN HIS VIDEO, which were in VIOLATION OF THE OFFICIAL RULES!!!!!! Three other videos out of the remaining nine: APRELEWSKY, BRUDELL AND SURYABUCHWALD, ALL VIOLATED THE OFFICIAL RULES AS WELL! THOSE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS SHOULD HAVE BEEN DISQUALIFIED, PERIOD!!!! I am sooooooooooooooooooo [[Anger|ANGRY]] of the fact that the [[Sony|Playstation company]] and their Promotional Associates WILL NOT DO ANYTHING TO BRING THOSE VIOLATORS TO JUSTICE!!!! Go to http://www.us.playstation.com/, and register the complaint, in addition to my own, through their "Contact Us" link. So that SWORN ON MY [[autism|AUTISM]], JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!| Chris on Adam Stackhouse<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm</ref>}}<br />
<br />
He also thought Adam was cheating because he thought Adam's beatboxing counted as background music, even though beatboxing is music made with the voice and is therefore [[Wikipedia:A cappella|a cappella]]. Naturally, Chris ignored the fact that he cheated himself by bombarding Sony with fake accounts in order to win.<br />
<br />
In a [[PlayStation Network]] post from 4 August 2007, Chris goes into detail about his feelings on Adam Stackhouse:<br />
<br />
{{quote|This is directed mostly to Adam Stackhouse; the S.O.B. who was the Alphabetically First Video in the PaRappa Contest and got WRONGFULLY the big prize. This [[JERK]]'s Video WAS AGAINST The NO MUSIC RULE!!!! His, Suryabuchwald and Aprelewsky's VIDEO ALL SHOULD HAVE BEEN DISQUALIFIED because they ALL HAD MUSIC!!!!<br />
<br />
In any case, I LOATHE Adam and his Sister for STEALING my one chance at taking my Sweet Gal-Friend to Seattle; it would have been terriffic. I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children (she and I are both virgins; although I am a FRUSTRATED, [[Autism|High-Functionally AUTISTIC]], 25-YEAR OLD [[Virgin with rage|VIRGIN]]. And I LOATHE Surybuchwald and Aprelewsky as well, because their MUSIC probably landed those [[JERKS]] in 2nd and 3rd.<br />
<br />
I don't have much going on for me really, because I have been the dog in America's favorite game, "[[KICK THE AUTISTIC]]" for my whole life.<br />
<br />
I curse those seven people (between the cast of the three illegal videos) to [[Death threats|DIE and BURN]]!<br />
<br />
As for Adam, if he is reading this and is asking, "You've got something to say to me?" I do, P.S. F*** You, you Dream Smashing Son of a B****!|Chris in PSN Blogs in August 2007}}<br />
<br />
==Adam's opinion of Chris==<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|No remorse... I mean, I didn't even know the wonders of CWC until a year after the contest... I noticed a string of comments about his entry at that point coming from [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|his ED page]] (at that time there was a longer passage on [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|the Parappa contest]], before he really went off the deep end). That's when I discovered the apology video, where he retracted the threats on my sister and I. I've always wanted to see [[CWC is Angry|the lost video]] where he calls me "no-good" and repeated shoots a picture of me...<br />
<br />
I've been following the whole thing since I discovered it about six months ago, thanks to CWC's [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008|Sept 24 2008]] update video... and yeah, it was pretty shocking and bizarre as I slowly put the pieces together..."<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments=1&v=lA84b9eCyZA From YouTube comments]</ref>|}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown]]<br />
*[[CWC is Angry]]<br />
*''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]''<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references /><br />
<br />
{{People}}<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Stackhouse, Adam}}<br />
[[Category:People]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_and_fashion&diff=153826
Chris and fashion
2011-12-05T06:36:12Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
[[Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|thumb|Fashion passes. Style is forever.]]<br />
{{Quote|Oh yeah, you just love to see me in my- in the old red, white and blue.|Chris to [[Kacey]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]g</ref>}}<br />
[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has a somewhat peculiar taste in '''fashion'''. Although he is willing to [[Chris and money|spend thousands of dollars]] on [[video games]], [[toys]], and [[sex dolls]], Chris is very stingy when it comes to shopping for his clothes, which are exclusively purchased secondhand at thrift stores like [[Wikipedia:Salvation Army|Salvation Army]] and [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]]. Therefore, the only clothes he owns are colorful collared shirts and undersized rugby shirts that have been marinating in his [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|bodily stench and fluids]] for the past decade. Since most of them are decorated with horizontal stripes, they only make him look [[Obesity|fatter]].<br />
<br />
[[Mailbag 42#The rugby shirt he wore for 3 days in a row isn't a favorite or anything|Mailbag 42]] revealed that at least one (the "Advice Dog" shirt) and possibly all of his shirts were purchased by his cruel, cruel [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] so people will notice the fact that he's [[Autism|"special"]] and [[Kick the Autistic|treat him with sympathy]]. Alternatively, it could be that the Chandlers just aren't exactly what you'd call "fashion savvy". Although his mother doesn't directly dress him anymore, Chris still chooses to wear these shirts, possibly out of a strong aversion to change, a common trait of [[autistic]] people.<br />
<br />
== Childhood ==<br />
[[Image:Ernie.jpg|thumb|Ernie also enjoys "The Classic".]]<br />
<br />
In his youth, Chris set the general tone for years to come with many striped polo and T-shirts and khaki pants. The only difference compared to today is that he sometimes even dared to wear single-colored shirts with his [[Sonic the Hedgehog|favorite game]] and [[television]] characters on them. The only article of clothing he was seen in until the summer of [[2010]] that didn't follow the "long-sleeved, colorful clown suit" theme is the [[Pokémon]] T-shirt that he has owned since he was 19. Being yellow, it does not look good on him.<br />
<br />
== Trademark clothing ==<br />
<br />
[[File:Chrischan5.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's vision of Chris's typical outfit, featuring the Horizontal Horror.]]<br />
<br />
Chris's classic outfit consists of:<br />
<br />
* His favorite shirt, a [http://www.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx?GrpTyp=PRD&ItemID=1cd2b01&deptid=70673&dep=MEN&catid=78744&pcat=MEN&cat=casual+shirts&NOffset=0&pcatid=70673&Ne=4294957900+5+29+3+596+1007+8+1031+18+904+833+949&N=4294938542+269&SO=0&cattyp=RLE&Nao=0&PSO=0&bcCat=3&CmCatId=70673%7c78744 St. John's Bay® Rugby Stripe Sueded Polo] , which is so tight that it accentuates his voluptuous, masculine bosoms. This is the shirt that Chris almost invariably draws himself wearing in the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]].<br />
* His [[Medallions of Fail|medallions]] (sporadically) and his [[High School Ring]]<br />
* A pair of [[Pedo-Glasses]] attached to a chain.<br />
* Jeans or khaki slacks. Chris's jeans typically define his rear end to a disturbing level — he may be wearing women's jeans, or he may simply still wear pants his gut long ago outgrew.<br />
* [[Belt Buckle of Fail]]<br />
* Alternatively, a green terrycloth bathrobe with a mismatched (of course) black belt on occasions when even getting dressed would involve too much [[stress]].<br />
* On occasion, a dark suit jacket, perhaps for the many [[Chris and death|funerals that plague his existence]].<br />
* During the winter months, a dark blue parka with orange and yellow stripes to enhance visibility.<br />
* Since late [[2009]], a [[sports bra]] to keep the previously mentioned bosoms in check.<br />
<br />
==The "IBA" outfit==<br />
In mid-[[2009#June|June 2009]], roughly around the time he made friends, Chris temporarily decided that his current look was old hat. He got rid of many of the striped shirts (mostly because he couldn't fit into them anymore) and grew a terrible goatee. <br />
<br />
The reformed Chris's wardrobe consisted of:<br />
<br />
*Sunglasses over normal glasses (glasses chain remains)<br />
*T-shirt over long sleeved shirt.<br />
*Goatee.<br />
*Tattoo sleeves<br />
*A black vest that is too small for his girth.<br />
*[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]<br />
<br />
His new attire was first properly presented to the world in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.<br />
<br />
Soon afterward, however, he went back to sporting his traditional clownshirts, and claimed that he was pressured into making the Rollin' and Trollin' video.<br />
<br />
==The "Gay Trucker" outfit==<br />
<br />
[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Notice how his pose in this picture is eerily reminiscent of his pose in [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]].]]<br />
<br />
After he promised to leave the [[Internet]] in the spring of [[2010]], Chris threw away his clown shirts, ditched the [[medallion]] for several months (it returned in [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|September]]), and picked up a new wardrobe in an attempt to look like a normal person,including a denim jacket from Goodwill that he cut the sleeves off of just to look gayer.<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]</ref> The result is a modified version of the IBA outfit. It has been observed that Chris tries to look like a bad boy, but he ends up looking like a gay trucker, hence the trolls' term for his new wardrobe.<br />
<br />
The only way he could make it look gayer is by combining it with his [[muscle bra]]. Which, unfortunately, he has. [[Fridays After Five|And in public.]] At this point, going back to the [[Sonichu Medallion]] would actually ''improve'' his chances of picking up girls.<br />
<br />
[[File:EnjoyVagaina.jpg|thumb|left|Deftly combining what Chris [[Coke|has too much of]] and what he [[China|will never have]].]]<br />
<br />
With the arrival of the gay trucker outfit also came an interest in T-shirts that boldly express Chris's desire for sex, often in exceedingly tasteless ways. The first clear look at one of these shirts was in a [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|profoundly disturbing video]] leaked in late [[April 2010]] which featured Chris wearing a [[parody]] shirt that read "Mount and do me". That said, the video was made for a potential sweetheart that Chris desperately wanted to fuck, leaving open the possibility that Chris didn't intend to dress like that outside his [[Chris's room|bedroom]].<br />
<br />
Chris destroyed any hope of that being the case on 18 [[June 2010]] when he wore a shirt that said "Enjoy Vagina" to a public, family-oriented concert. He then topped this later, by pulling that shirt over his head, and standing around in his muscle bra, on which he had written "WANT WOMAN!" The common belief is that these tasteless, sexually themed shirts are the next evolution of the [[attraction sign]], a way for him to inform potential mates that he is both straight and available without ever having to talk to people.<br />
<br />
In late [[August 2010]], Chris returned to the Internet with a series of videos where he sported simple, loose-fitting T-shirts (including a [[Manchester High School]] senior class T-shirt which he must have reverently preserved for at least a decade). The effect is interesting, bringing him closer to something like normality than he's been in many years. He's still a pale, sweaty, balding, grotesquely fat, pathetically weak manchild, but in Ruckersville, that puts him reasonably close to the mainstream.<br />
<br />
A number of Chris's t-shirts appear to have been with him for a decade or more — the Manchester High shirt, a souvenir shirt from the BrickFest event in [[2000]], a [[Pokémon]] trainer shirt from the Books-a-Million where Chris played [[card games]] between [[1998]] and 2000. Either he's willing to keep shirts that have some personal significance around for a very long time, or his packrat tendencies prevent him from throwing any of them away.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==The Carlos Chantor outfit==<br />
[[File:Chantor.jpg|thumb|His best outfit yet, too bad it did not last.]]<br />
<br />
A single picture of Chris posing as a male prostitute was posted on Escorts.com. <br />
<br />
It is significant because it implies that Chris can dress like a normal human being if he wants to remain inconspicuous. <br />
<br />
The black shirt and sunglasses he is wearing are never seen in any later pictures. <br />
<br />
==The “Tomgirl” series==<br />
[[Image:TG19.jpg|thumb|He made himself into a [[sweetheart from the ground-up]].]]<br />
<br />
{{main|Tomgirl Pictures}}<br />
<br />
In April 2011 a series of pictures were leaked showing Chris dressed in woman’s clothing in public. His new outfit consists of:<br />
<br />
* Bright green nail polish<br />
* Earrings (a purple glass stud and a blue ring) - note that piercing the right ear is traditionally code for [[homos]]exuality; guess which one Chris pierced twice?<br />
* Women's sandals<br />
* Blue eyeliner<br />
* Jeans<br />
* Blue string top<br />
*Black thong<br />
*A silver ring<ref>File:TG6.jpg</ref> (note that silver rings have been used to symbolize a pledge [[F Abstinence|virginity]] until marriage)<ref>[http://www.silverringthing.com/]</ref><br />
* A red and blue sweater vest (tank top) with a red shirt underneath it<br />
* Red lipstick<br />
* A new pair of [[glasses]]<br />
<br />
==Theory of fashion==<br />
The clothes that Christian chooses seem almost like a costume for him, especially his infamous striped shirt. Given that he is [[autistic]], observers often speculate that he may have difficulty with identifying things visually, including himself. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he alluded to having to take time to study his appearance in a mirror, possibly wearing the shirt in question. Either way, Christian seems to regard his shirt as an integral part of his identity in the same way that [[trolls]] do. <br />
<br />
His fashion sense has shown itself to be evolving in the last year, but moving in cycles. In [[2010]] he seemed to have ditched the [[Sonichu medallion]] and moved into what could be described as a more edgy, hip, aggressive look. His success at being so is on par for course with the rest of his attempts at things.<br />
<br />
Of note, during his conversation with [[Kacey]] while posing as [[Liquid Chris]] he claimed to also own a striped shirt like the "impostor". He expressed much joy at the fact that it was red, white and blue, implying owning a shirt was proof of his patriotism.<br />
<br />
==Wardrobe==<br />
Below is a gallery of most of Chris's wardrobe, along with links to the videos they appeared in:<br />
<center><br />
<gallery><br />
Image:Christshirt1.png|"The Classic"<br>[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 19th, 2009|4]] [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|5]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|6]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009|7]] [[SingStar_Challenge#Watch|8]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|9]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 4|10]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 22nd, 2009|11]] [[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC|12]] [[Sign Destruction Video|13]] [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|14]]<br />
Image:Christshirt4.png|"The Advice Dog"<br>[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 6th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|4]] [[12 January 2010|5]] [[14 January 2010|6]] [[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|7]] [[15 January 2010|8]] [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|9]]<br />
Image:Christshirt3.png|"[[Liquid Chris|The Impostor]]"<br>[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|1]] [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|2]] [[Magical Man Potion|3]]<br />
Image:Christshirt5.png|"The Napoleon"<br>[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 17th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|3]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|4]] [[15 October 2009|5]] [[9 December 2009|6]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|7]] [[22 January 2010|8]] [[I am Alive|9]] [[100 2269|10]] [[A Hike|11]]<br />
Image:Christshirt6.png|"The Racing Stripe"<br>[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|2]] [[Congrats, Jack Black|3]] [[ECV 00002|4]]<br />
Image:Christshirt7.png| "The Power Ranger"<br>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|1]] [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC|2]] [[LOOK at the truth!|3]]<br />
Image:Christshirt8.png| "The Dunwich Horror"<br>[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 12th, 2009|1]] [[More for the crabs|2]] [[ECV 00081|3]] [[Bunny Hop|4]] [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|5]] [[CWC address to Royal Board|6]] [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|7]] [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|8]]<br />
Image:Christshirt10.png|"The Two-Face"<br>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 23rd, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009|3]] [[Wigwam|4]] [[WeighIn|5]]<br />
Image:Christshirt11a.png|"The Poké-Master"<br>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 6th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]<br />
Image:Christshirt12.png|"The Horizontal Horror"<br>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 8th, 2009|1]]<br />
Image:Christshirt13a.png|"The Jerkop"<br>[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]<br />
Image:Christshirt14.png|"The Greasy Flag"<br>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 6th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 9th, 2009|2]] [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|3]] [[Matthew 5 27, CWC Confessions|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|6]] [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts|7]] [[9 October 2009|8]] [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|9]] [[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud|10]] [[Brutal Legend|11]] [[3 December 2009|12]]<br />
Image:Christshirt18.png|"The Star Fleet Captain"<br>[[CWC More Than A Feeling|1]] <br />
Image:Christshirt17.png|"The Scuderia Autistirarri"<br>[[Chris's Big Night Out|1]] [[10 September 2009|2]] <br />
Image:Christshirt19.png|"The Flag-Waving Patriot"<br>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|1]] [[A CWC Audition|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|3]] [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|4]] [[Challenge for Clyde|5]] [[Brutal Legend Plus|6]] [[For_Chris#IBA.27s_video|7]] [[IPods Down and Listen Up|8]] [[Hello, Juffalo|9]] [[9 February 2010|10]]<br />
Image:Christshirt20.png|"The Captain Falcon"<br>[[Down with Asperchu|1]]<br />
Image:Christshirt21.png|"The DangerStripe"<br>[[This was my fault|1]] [[Address to my CWCipedia SysOP|2]]<br />
Image:Christshirt22.png|"The Cyclone Joker"<br>[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009|1]] [[CWC Callout for Miss Emily and Stephanie|2]] [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|3]] [[A message to the Trolls|4]] [[Don't Mess With Me|5]]<br />
Image:ChrisShirt43.png|"The Swamp Monster"<br>[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 20th, 2009|1]] [[I like Mary Poppins|2]] [[DayOut|3]] [[FullHouse|4]]<br />
Image:Christshirt23.png|"The Traffic Light"<br>[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|1]] [[A Sonichu Day|2]] [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital|3]] [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|4]] [[Kill De Jack|5]]<br />
Image:ChristshirtPoke.png|"The Manchild"<br>[[Chris dispels videogame rumors|1]] [[ItIsFinished.MOV|2]] [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|3]]<br />
Image:Christshirt28.png|"The Rugby of Shame"<br>[[Christian's Update 11 September 2008|1]]<br />
Image:Parappashirt.png|"The [[PaRappa the Rapper|PaRappa]] Shirt"<br>[[51 50|1]]<br />
Image:sportsbra.png|"The [[Muscle bra|Muscle Bra]]"<br>[[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|1]] [[100 2266|2]] [[ECV 00001|3]]<br />
Image:sportsbra2.png|"The Muscle Bra 2"<br>[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]]<br />
Image:Christshirt27.png|"The Dirty Dashiki"<br>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 8th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009|2]] [[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 26th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|6]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|8]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|9]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|10]] [[I am Alive|11]]<br />
Image:Christshirt37.png|"The [[Homos|Mount and Do Me]]"<br>[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]]<br />
Image:Christshirt25.png|"The [[Duck]]ie Shirt"<br>[[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|1]] [[Secret Weapon|2]] [[YouTube Finale|3]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|4]]<br />
Image:Christshirt26.png|"The Shamrock Shake"<br>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 28th, 2008|2]] [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls|3]]<br />
Image:Christshirt29.png|"The Shamrock Stripes"<br>[[Chris Sex Videos|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 7th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 12th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 13th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 20th, 2009|5]] [[Clyde Cash the kid video|6]] [[For Kacey II|7]] [[To Clyde Gregg|8]] [[For Chris II|9]] [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|10]] <br />
Image:Christshirt31.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare"<br>[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|1]] <br />
Image:Christshirt32.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare Redux"<br>[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|1]] [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|2]]<br />
Image:Christshirt33.png|"The Bumblebee"<br>[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|2]]<br />
Image:Christshirt35.png|"The Intimidator"<br>[[Chris Calls Clyde Out|1]] [[I Love You Kacey|2]] [[10242009|3]] [[29 January 2010|4]] [[C-Ya Later|5]] [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|6]] <br />
Image:Christshirt38.png|"The [[Rainbow]] Flag"<br>[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|1]]<br />
Image:Christshirt30.png|"The Big Green"<br>[[We're Being Watched|1]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|2]]<br />
Image:Christshirt41.png|"The White Trash"<br>[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009|1]] [[War Paint Video|2]] [[Some Favored Comedians|3]] [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|4]]<br />
Image:Christshirt45.png|"The Happy Jack"<br>[[CWC Dare|1]] [[June062010.MOV|2]] [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|3]] [[XBox is OK.MOV|4]]<br />
Image:Christshirt46.png|"The Bordeaux Butcher"<br>[[Apology to Emily|1]]<br />
Image:Christshirt40.png|"The Ivory Poacher"<br>[[25 September 2009|1]]<br />
<br />
</gallery><br />
</center><br />
<br />
{{Illustrations}}<br />
<br />
== Wrist warmer ==<br />
<br />
[[Image:Wrist Warmer.jpg|thumb|Wrist warmer]]<br />
<br />
Ever wonder what that thing is behind Chris's neck?<br />
<br />
{{quote|Yes, it is a part of my necklace; it's a "[[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]]" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there.|Chris<ref>Email from Chris posted in old [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] thread 162</ref>}}<br />
<br />
Chris most likely wears it as a counter to [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a condition common among autistics, in which a normally harmless sensation directly triggers a fight-or-flight reaction.<br />
<br />
==Fanny pack==<br />
[[Image:0226-ChristianWMrsSanford.jpg|thumb|left|Chris and [[Mrs. Sanford]].]]<br />
[[Image:0105-MomRetire13.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in '''1996'''.]]<br />
[[Image:0503-CWCAsh4.jpg|thumb|left|[[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|Pimp mah riiide!]]]]<br />
[[Image:0565-CWCKellieGrads.jpg|thumb|Chris with [[Kellie Andes]]. Chris would have, for the first time in his life, looked like he dressed sharp, if it wasn't for the fanny pack. Note the award that Kellie is holding.]]<br />
[[Image:0647-CWCAshAnime.jpg|thumb| Chris, on '''29 May 2004'''.]]<br />
<br />
A fanny pack (known as a "bum bag" in the British Commonwealth) is a small fabric pouch secured with a zipper and worn by use of a strap around the hips or waist. Fanny packs reached the peak of their popularity in the late 1980s and early-to-mid 1990s, and have since been considered to be a fashion faux pas.<ref>http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/beauty/once-reviled-fanny-packs-get-a-high-fashion-makeover-and-an-even-higher-pricetag-2452640#photoViewer=1</ref> Naturally Chris wore them throughout the 1990s and 2000s.<br />
<br />
== Cosplaying ==<br />
{{main|Chris and cosplaying}}<br />
<br />
== Sources ==<br />
<references /><br />
<br />
{{Chris and}}</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Parody&diff=153825
Parody
2011-12-05T06:35:48Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{quote|*Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Comics]], except that of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic.* |Chris's disclaimer appearing below the cover to [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9TVY7.htm Sonichu 8 cover]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|*Also, [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and his 17-year old girlfriend, Kathleen Nicole Wallace in this comic are BASED on the REAL PEOPLE, and they both HAVE actually done things together that would be classified as Illegal in the [[USA]]; Send the [[Jerkops|police]] on them in Clarksville, Tennesse.*|Chris, contradicting his own disclaimer}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:Notthebathroom.jpg|thumb|Chris attempts parody in the infamous [[Sonichu_7#The_Family_Guy_.22Skitch.22|''Family Guy'' "skitch"]]]]<br />
<br />
'''Parody''' is defined as a literary or musical work in which the style of the author or work is closely imitated for comic effect or in ridicule. The concept dates back to Ancient Greek literature, as Hegemon of Thasos was credited with being the first guy to change the words of poems to make them funny. <br />
<br />
In a broader sense, parodies need not be humorous as long as they provide some sort of commentary on the original work. In that sense, a parody can be considered a sort of critical analysis of the original work.<br />
<br />
For [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the word "parody" is basically a way to secure copyrights for other people's ideas.<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]], 21:30</ref> You see, parody falls under "fair use" in copyright law, so if Sonichu is a ''parody'' of ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' and ''[[Pokémon]]'', then it's perfectly legal for Chris to turn Sonichu into a multimedia empire.<br />
<br />
==Why ''Sonichu'' is not a parody==<br />
<br />
[[Image:JargonPage.jpg|thumb|If you keep telling a lie often enough...]]<br />
[[Image:RCParodic.png|thumb|Let me guess: the ripped-off warning is a ''parody'' too]]<br />
<br />
The issue of whether or not Sonichu meets the criteria for fair use is academic. As it stands, Chris is simply one of thousands of lame Sonic fans trying to make a name for himself by "creating" shitty Sonic recolors. For all of Chris's big dreams of developing Sonichu games, cartoons, and merchandise, he can barely muster the motivation to produce two issues of the comic book each year, and, especially considering his workmanship, those aren't even that hard to do. Even if some miracle enabled him to land a deal to make Sonichu into something profitable, he'd screw it up long before the project would even attract the attention of [[Nintendo]] and Sega's lawyers. If he can't hold down a job at [[Wendy's]], it doesn't really matter how Sonichu would stand up in a hypothetical courtroom. Chris put a cease and desist on his own life decades ago. <br />
<br />
Still, the question remains: is Sonichu a parody? If humor is to be chief criterion, then the answer is obviously no. Nearly all of the humor to be found in the series is purely unintentional by the author. A good example of this principle in action is the infamous "[[Sammy|Family Guy skitch]]" of [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]. At first blush, this could be interpreted as a sardonic imitation of ''[[Family Guy]]''-style humor, with Chris initiating a needless flashback to a joke that depends on slapstick and nostalgia references. The problem is that Chris isn't that clever, as demonstrated by the way he shamelessly offers the gag to Seth McFarlane to use in the show itself, indicating that Chris believes his imitation is tantamount to the genuine article. <br />
<br />
In terms of commentary on the original work, ''Sonichu'' is virtually devoid of this. Early issues would poke fun at ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' characters, but this wasn't particularly insightful. Indeed, characters like [[Team Rocket]] and [[Doctor Robotnik]] are often mocked in the original works, so Chris was most likely just repeating what he'd seen. In [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu '' #1]], [[Amy Rose]] meets [[Rosechu]], but the scene is little more than a dry comparison of the two, who wind up being more alike than different. <br />
<br />
Speaking legally rather than artistically, in the United States a valid parody should demonstrate reasonable usage with regard to "the amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work as a whole"<ref>http://www.copyright.gov/title17/92chap1.html#107</ref> to fall under fair use. In other words, the hypothetical defendant should be able to show that they have not "taken any more of the original work than was necessary to achieve the purpose for which the material was copied from the original work."<ref>http://www.publaw.com/article/parody-fair-use-or-copyright-infringement</ref> If Chris really does have some parodic "purpose" in mind for ''Sonichu'', the sheer volume of ideas he has simply appropriated from other sources is weighted against him; aside from using characters with names and appearances mostly or completely lifted from other works, the main storylines themselves are far too derivative of the original materials to qualify as pastiche or homage. Chris merely chooses to mix and match entire ready-made plots, such as the [[Sonichu Balls|Quest for the Sonichu Balls]] (''Sonic the Hedgehog''/''Dragon Ball'') or the plight of [[Zelina Rosechu|Zelina]] (''Zelda II: The Adventure of Link''), making only superficial changes and avoiding any decent narration along the way. Ultimately the main difficulty in proving this point against Chris would be delineating the numerous works he has used and where. Unfortunately for him, [[Things Chris has ripped off|this has been done]].<br />
<br />
Perhaps by sheer coincidence, ''Sonichu'' has evolved into a shell of what a true ''Sonic''/''Pokémon'' parody could be. Like the ''Sonic'' characters, the cast is composed of cutesy-looking animals who have gradually sloughed off the veneer of innocent video game mascots to engage in angsty dialogue and crude romantic entanglements. And, like ''Pokémon'', the [[Sonichus]] and [[Rosechus]] are super-powered animals who battle in the service of a bossy, whiny human. In short, by combining the two franchises, Chris has wound up depicting a darker, more infantile reflection of each. The problem is that he fails to realize this, and so the actual commentary on ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' is never properly realized. During an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC Chat]] with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris spends an inordinate amount of time trying to explain how Sonichu is a Parody of Sonic (though he entirely forgets [[Pikachu]]), but all he does is list their similarities. Even after the definition of "parody" is spelled out to him he completely [[fail]]s to find any element of Sonichu that is a legitimate parody of Sonic: he continues to insist that ''Sonichu'' is a parody because he's fast, but also has electricity powers. In his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|PowerPoint presentation]], Chris even describes Sonichu's story as "an Untold Chapter of one story, so it is additional, yet not a major plot change," which plants it quite firmly in the territory of "derivative work."<br />
<br />
The irony is that by refusing to embrace Sonichu as a derivative, one-dimensional Sonic recolor, Chris fails to live up to his assertion that Sonichu is a parody. But Chris can't have it both ways. It's either original, or a parody. The closest ''Sonichu'' ever comes to true parody is in its satirical depiction of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. Instead of simply portraying ED as a website, Chris represents it as some [[4-cent_garbage.com|sort of business]], housed in a physical building, with its users working there as some sort of staff, churning out slanderous content as an end unto itself. For once, Chris actually has a point to make: that ED is a bunch of mean-spirited people who waste their lives hurting people. This message is ham-fisted, but at least it's not the usual subtext like "I think hedgehogs are way past cool!" and "I'd sure like to have sex!" Then again, given his belief that "[[lulz]]" is an acronym for "laughs under lucricities," it's quite possible that he literally [[Chris_and_reality|believes ED ''is'' a business]].<br />
<br />
Further demonstrating Chris's ignorance of the true nature of parody is his belligerence towards [[Trolls|artists]] who have imitated his work. In particular, Chris has vehemently denounced [[Jimmy Hill]] for claiming credit for Sonichu and merchandising the character in Europe as an openly homosexual cartoon character. What Chris can't (or won't) understand is that Mr. Hill's use of Sonichu is exactly what a parody is supposed to be, since his version deliberately alters Sonichu to humorous effect. In a court battle, the law is more likely to favor the work of trolls as parody, though there's some question of what happens when you parody something that's already stolen.<br />
<br />
But even if Chris understood fully what parody means, it likely wouldn't matter. "Parody" is simply a word Chris uses as one of many excuses he comes up with to do whatever he wants. When he tried to strike a deal with [[Vivian]] to get a cut of her [[Audiobook]] money, he said he was doing so despite not being happy that her work was "parodic." While the Audiobooks straight-up mock Chris and his comic rather than act as parodies, to him it's not okay for him to be subject of "parody," but it's okay for him to make "parodies" of works that others create. So it seems that he understands on a basic level that a parody is intended to make fun of something, but he changes the meaning of the word to suit his needs when he's called out on how Sonichu is plagiarism.<br />
<br />
==''Sonichu'' as self-parody==<br />
<br />
On the other hand, Chris's narcissism makes him a virtuoso at self-parody, so if he ever sues himself, he's covered. <br />
<br />
When Chris takes [[Patti-Chan]] to [[CWCville]], he leads her through a portal in his bedroom. Upon seeing the disheveled state of his quarters, Patti remarks that it's no wonder Chris needs a woman in his life. <br />
<br />
By [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], Chris believed he had completed his Love Quest by befriending [[Megan Schroeder]], and eventually mocked his former bitterness over not having a girlfriend. When the heroes discuss the plight of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal]] the subject soon turns to how jealous men can be, and [[Megagi]] wryly echoes Chris's statement that he despised nearly all the men on Earth, simply because he couldn't get a girlfriend. A hilarious inside joke, if you're Chris.<br />
<br />
Chris leads a squad into the year 1996, where he relives the moment when he created [[Bionic the Hedgehog]], in the next issue. As lockers played a role in his inspiration, Chris extended the scene to include a gag lifted directly from an episode of ''Beavis and Butt-head'', where the two slam a locker door over and over for fun. <br />
<br />
In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Sonichu discovers [[Rule 34]] pictures on 4-cent_garbage.com, and expresses amazement that he and his friends were photographed in such intimate moments. Rosechu pointedly informs him that the images are drawings, even though they look "lifelike" to Sonichu, because Chris himself drew the sex scenes on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] (some of which he recycled in ''Sonichu'' #8). <br />
<br />
Also, the Spring Break feature in #8 features [[Black Sonichu]] getting fooled into having unprotected sex with a [[Silvana|trannie]], which most analysts agree is a reference to Chris's own experiences getting tricked by various [[Blanca|trolls posing as would-be girlfriends]]. Intentionally or not, Chris does a pretty good job projecting his own hormone-fueled foolishness onto Blake.<br />
<br />
==Chris does not understand the concept of parody==<br />
<br />
Despite his adamant declarations that he fully understands parody, Chris has repeatedly proven himself incapable of recognizing it in the face of the genuine article. The Jimmy Hill arc was a perfect example of what a parody is: taking what he had made canon and turning it around as commentary. Chris immediately screamed copyright and went to great lengths to shut the website down (SPOILER ALERT: It's still up and doing quite well).<br />
<br />
He makes the same error in the [[Adult Swim posts]]. He posts a rant admonishing [[Adult Swim|''Robot Chicken'']], a show centered around parody, that the canon Autobots wouldn't act the way they were portrayed, which was exactly the point. He goes on to give them a suggestion for a skit using [[Random Access Humor]], which thankfully was ignored. ''Robot Chicken'' actually received a lot of such complaints, and made another sketch about the Go-Bots acting out of character, with the addition of a [[speech impediment|whiny]], [[Pedo-Glasses|bespectacled]], [[obesity|overweight]] fanboy living with his parents interjecting with complaints about inaccuracies... ''Coincidence!!??''... probably. It's less likely that they would reference Chris himself as it is that Chris is such a perfect example of everything wrong with cartoon-obsessed adults.<br />
<br />
==Hypocrisy==<br />
<br />
While Chris is quick to justify the existence of his abomination by claiming "parody," he also uses the term as an attack on parodies of his own work, particularly [[Asperchu]]. Note that he doesn't just use the term [[CWC-ism|"slanderous mockeries"]] or "troll works": he specifically describes them as parodies, using the term as though it were an insult and justification for his rage. Humorously, this is the only thing he has ever accurately described as a parody, whereas his own comics are at best fan fiction and at worst theft of intellectual property.<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
<br />
*[[Chris and the Law]]<br />
<br />
== Sources ==<br />
<br />
<references /><br />
<br />
==Links to actual parodies==<br />
<br />
*[http://sonichu.110mb.com/ The Officiarr and Originarr Sonichu Site from Jimmy Hirr]<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=0A4E27D42C44EE9B Sonichu: The Animated Series]<br />
*[http://sonichufinale.canalblog.com/ Sonichu Finale by Mr. Harry D.http://sonichufinale.canalblog.com/]<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/timmys1984 Sonichu animated promos by Timmys1984 http://www.youtube.com/user/timmys1984]<br />
*[http://sonichu.thecomicseries.com/ Sonichu is Dead]<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8xUfVy2POk "The Last Sonichu" by Vivtheg]<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jmOoAWWyhU "The Real Adventures of Sonichu" by Spencer Price]<br />
*[http://www.sonichuttahcs.deviantart.com/ 'Sonichu: The TRUE and HONEST Comic Series' on DeviantART]<br />
<br />
{{CWC-isms}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:CWC-isms]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia&diff=153824
Wikipedia
2011-12-05T06:34:52Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Quote|I ONLY WISH TO TELL THE TRUTH AND SPREAD IT ON THE INTERNET.|Chris}}<br />
<br />
On 1 [[May 2009]], for reasons that only [[GodJesus]] knows, [[Christian Weston Chandler]] registered on '''Wikipedia''' as [[ChrisChanSonichu]]. He created a user page that is to record one of the most in depth autobiographical accounts of his life.<ref>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_talk:ChrisChanSonichu User talk:ChrisChanSonichu], Wikipedia</ref><br />
<br />
A user page is not an article, and therefore not under the same strict guidelines as an article, but such an extensively biographical one is still a flagrant violation of Wikipedia policy. Wikipedia community tends to frown on use of the user pages as web space ("[[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:NOTMYSPACE|Wikipedia is not MySpace]]"); the user pages should usually be reserved for purposes somehow related to the Wikipedia project, and user pages for users who don't contribute anything to the articles frequently get deleted. Chris, of course, made it abundantly clear that he's not interested in contributing to the articles.<br />
<br />
Chris's user page was deleted by a Wikipedia admin believing it to be the work of a [[troll]]. Sadly, as the [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|details]] show, this was the real deal.<br />
<br />
The other thing Chris did was add his name to the article on high-functioning [[autism]], under the list of "famous individuals that may have had many different variations of autism along with HFA."<ref>[http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?limit=50&tagfilter=&title=Special%3AContributions&contribs=user&target=ChrisChanSonichu&namespace=&tagfilter=&year=&month=-1 User contributions for ChrisChanSonichu], Wikipedia</ref><ref>[http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=High-functioning_autism&diff=prev&oldid=287579250 High-functioning autism], Wikipedia</ref> The kicker is that he put himself right next to Michelangelo. [[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|Again]].<br />
<br />
To date, the "Christian Weston Chandler" article on Wikipedia has been created by trolls four times and deleted each time: February 15, March 26, April 28 and May 3, 2009.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Articles_for_deletion/Christian_Weston_Chandler</ref> It has also been "salted," or protected so that it cannot be re-created under that title. Chris's account was also blocked indefinitely, although the blocking admin believed that his account was a sockpuppet of a troll, and not the genuine article.<br />
<br />
==May 2009 drama==<br />
In a [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009|video]] on May 3, Chris makes a case for his worthiness and rallies his True and Honest fans to restore his biography. He also posted the following on his Wikipedia discussion page:<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|<br />
Dear Sir/Madam,<br />
<br />
LOOK, I do not have the appropriate calm state of mind to make time to READ those numerous upon numerous small-print details, much less memorize them. I have had a LOT of SLANDEROUS TWISTS OF MY OWN WORDS done unto me in the past SOO MUCH, it is HARDEST for me to get a [[job]] in a place that does background checks, only to find that cursed [[ED|E.D]]. Page those EVIL [[trolls|TROLLS]] created against me at the TOP of the list.<br />
<br />
I started [[CWCipedia|my OWN Wikipedia]] page to hopefully counter that and better the people's General Understand of the Noble Gentleman I truly am. I SPENT HOURS, recalling MEMORY after MEMORY to type up the [[HONEST]]-TO-GOD TRUTH.<br />
<br />
I DO NOT CARE about the erroneous listings or false information listed on other pages; I ONLY WISH TO TELL THE TRUTH AND SPREAD IT ON THE INTERNET.<br />
<br />
Plus, I have [[Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa Anne Hudgens]] as an honest, very close [[Gal-Pal]], and you know very well how powerful she is as a STAR.<br />
<br />
I have created [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_May_3rd,_2009|a video on YouTube]] respectfully asking to leave my Wikipedia ALONE with MY HONEST TRUTH from MY OWN High-Functioning Autistic Head; my [[Fanbase|LOYAL FANBASE]] will be sending you letters.<br />
<br />
UNDO YOUR DELETION, PLEASE.<br />
<br />
--Christian Weston Chandler (talk) 01:25, 4 May 2009 (UTC) }}<br />
<br />
In short, Chris doesn't give a shit about contributing to Wikipedia, only wanting free PR.<br />
<br />
==Other Wikipedia edits of note==<br />
[[File:Meganwikipedia.png|200px|thumb|right|Megan disapproves.]]<br />
[[File:Smitheywiki.jpg|200px|thumb|left|Cole approves.]]<br />
In January and February 2010, [[Megan]] (or a person pretending to be her) removed references to Chris from the Wikipedia articles on Manchester High School and [[Cole Smithey]].<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/Meganshroeder</ref> Her edit summaries both ended with "that was either put there by vandals or by Christian under the assumption he is important enough to be mentioned (he is mentally handicapped)." Less than a day later, her edit summaries were struck out.<br />
<br />
The articles' histories indicate that both mentions of Chris were added by anonymous users who most likely are not Chris, as the genuine article would have been far more [[Chris and English|verbose and rambling]]. One editor cited this very wiki as a reference, running afoul of Wikipedia's policy on [[Wikipedia:WP:RS|reliable sources]]. As our own Wwwwolf put it, "Sorry, but Chris can't be mentioned here either unless there are reliable sources for this. That means actual publications. Also see Biographies of Living Persons on why sourcing stuff in biographies is such a big deal. This is not CWCki or ED; please remember Wikipedia's rules." Skimming through the talk page and edit history of any article even remotely connected with Chris reveals large amounts of petty vandalism from [[EDF|slow-in-the-minds]].<ref>Articles infected with Chris related vandalism include [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Sean_Marshall&diff=next&oldid=350396058 Sean Marshall], [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Ruckersville,_Virginia&diff=399557954&oldid=399169556 Ruckersville], [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Charlottesville,_Virginia&diff=315040313&oldid=315040250 Charlottesville] and [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Jimmy_Hill&diff=276226199&oldid=276119469 Jimmy Hill], among others. </ref> This has led Wikipedia to set their [[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:Edit filter|edit filter]] to prevent users from making edits with Chris related phrases.<ref>For more info see the [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:AbuseLog&wpSearchFilter=257 filter log] of filter 257 - Sonichu and other repeat vandalism. The phrases [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:AbuseLog/4961668 "Christian Weston Chandler"] and [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:AbuseLog/4954315 "Sonichu"] are disallowed by this filter.</ref><br />
<br />
On 22 February 2010, the article on Cole Smithey was placed up for deletion.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Articles_for_deletion/Cole_Smithey</ref> The first two votes in the discussion both called for deletion of the article, and both made explicit mention of Chris; the second one read, "'''Strong delete''' unless somebody wishes to write a sourced, neutral article about him. Otherwise, this serves as cannon fodder for the ChrisChan Sonichu fanatics over at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]." The article was deleted on 1 March.<br />
<br />
It should also be noted that an account with the name Cole Smithey edited the Wikipedia article on Cole, and spammed film articles with links to his reviews. Whether or not this is the real Cole remains to be seen.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==August 2010==<br />
[[File:Cwc on wikipedia.png|200px|thumb|left|Note that it calls us an "infamous" wiki.]]<br />
On 13 [[August 2010]], a new article on Mr. Chandler was created under the name Christian W. Chandler. The article consisted of the following:<br />
<br />
{{Quotebox|'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February 1982) is an illustrator from Charlottesville, Virginia. He is known mainly as the creator of '''Sonichu''', a fan fiction comic based off the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pokémon]] franchise. He was also featured in the May 2004 issue of [[Nintendo Power Magazine|Nintendo Power]] for his documentary, the April 2005 issue of Nintendo Power, and the community college newspaper for [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]].<br />
<br />
Christian Weston Chandler's birth name was, in fact, '''Christopher'''. It took a chance encounter with [http://www.leonardbearstein.com/ Leonard Bearstein] in Regency Square Mall for his current name to be bestowed upon him. Aged 11 at the time, Chris and his father were in the mall for holiday shopping when Chris came across Leonard and engaged him in conversation. The man behind the microphone, mishearing the name "Christopher", addressed the young boy as Christian, a name that struck a chord within the young Chandler's heart. All it took was one legal name change for Christian to assume the identity he carries with him to this day. He acknowledges jokingly that it was as if God spoke through the bear to give him the name he always wanted.}}<br />
<br />
The article used Chris's two ''[[Nintendo Power]]'' appearances, as well as the [[Animal Crossing Documentary#PVCC.27s news report|writeup]] in the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] ''Forum'' and the [[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES]] as references. Only a day later, this article was also nominated for deletion; it got deleted less than an hour-and-a-half later after the author requested it be deleted.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Articles_for_deletion/Christian_W._Chandler</ref> Further inspection showed that the article creator was a sockpuppet of a user who had previously been banned from Wikipedia.<br />
==October 2010==<br />
On 1 [[October 2010]], yet another new article on Mr. Chandler was created in userspace.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:EricLayla/Subpage_1</ref> It was deleted a day later, but how its discovery by administrators happened remains unknown.<br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
* [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile]], a facsimile of the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:ChrisChanSonichu deleted Wikipedia userpage]<br />
* [[User:Apostrophe/Chris-Chan_talk|A mirror of his talk page]] in case it gets deleted from Wikipedia too<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/ChrisChanSonichu Chris's edits]<br />
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:ChrisChanSonichu&oldid=287920013 Chris's talk page] before it got locked, complete with [[pickle|gherkins]]<br />
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Administrators%27_noticeboard/IncidentArchive534#User:ChrisChanSonichu Wikipedia:Administrators' noticeboard], where admins talked about Chris<br />
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_talk:Slakr/Archive_12#Additional_point User talk:slakr], where an admin called us special for taking "pot shots at some poor guy suffering from apparent mental disability"<br />
<br />
{{The Internet}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Websites]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=White_knight&diff=153822
White knight
2011-12-05T06:34:04Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
[[Image:White knight.jpg|center]]<br />
[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Artist's conception. Bad artist, but still.]]<br />
<br />
{{quote|Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?|Chris, [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|CWC Music Video ~ "Holding Out For a Hero"]]}}<br />
<br />
'''White knight''' is a term used to describe someone who goes on the Internet to help or defend someone else on the Internet against other people on the Internet out of pity or compassion. White knighting of Chris is especially prevalent because of the unprecedented amount of abuse he has taken, which in turn is caused by Chris's total inability to heed the white knights in his life.<br />
<br />
'''Counter-trolls''' are those who take Chris's side to spite his legion of [[trolls]]. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls, who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme. Counter-trolls are not to be confused with [[anti-troll]]s, who fight trolls in order to get closer to Chris and troll him themselves.<br />
<br />
A meta-topic within the broader Chris saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being such an epic lulzcow, and whether he is deserving of such assistance or even beyond help. The consensus on forums such as the talk page for Chris's [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article, /cwc/, [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]], and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] is that Chris's [[racism]], [[Chris and Sex|homophobia]], and [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]] make him beneath contempt; and that he has consistently refused to take advice given to him in good faith. White knights and counter-trolls are considered to be wasting everyone's time and trolls have little patience for them.<br />
<br />
==Motives==<br />
<br />
===Pity===<br />
Following the release of Chris's first [[nudes|nude photos]] and the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] in which he reacted to the loss of his [[medallion]]s and [[Blanca]], many people, including trolls, felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.<br />
<br />
===Empathy===<br />
The Internet is full of autistic people, man-children, and self-absorbed morons. Many of them are right here, fascinated with Chris-chan. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his all-consuming need for female companionship or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up. They think they can help improve Chris by offering the benefit of their experience. <br />
<br />
BAAAAAAAW! ''[[Kick the Autistic]]'' is a cruel game. Quit it!<br />
<br />
===Circumstances beyond Chris's control===<br />
There is ongoing debate about whether Chris is actually [[autism|autistic]]. Regardless, there is clear evidence that he suffers from serious mental deficiencies of some kind.<br />
<br />
Chris [[fail]]s to identify people, a possible sign of [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|Prosopagnosia]]. [[BlueSpike|Julie and her brother Max]] used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't recognize that they were the same person. Pictures of different women were used to depict [[Blanca]], and yet Chris thought they were the same person. Chris believed that pictures of [[Wikipedia:Megan Fox|Megan Fox]] were of [[Wikipedia:Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa Hudgens]].<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|Vanessa AIM Chat IX]]</ref> In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - [http://thedailypos.org/misc/sonichu/Issue%207/SchuComic8Page24.jpg "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> Since he probably hasn't "updated" his self-image, this is a possible explanation regarding why he denies being fat.<br />
<br />
Chris cannot "read between the lines" or otherwise interpret subtlety. He interprets ''[[Family Guy]]'' as being against homosexuality.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]</ref> When two male acquaintances exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.<ref>Anecdote by [[Mimms]].</ref><br />
<br />
Furthermore, Chris's upbringing was anything but ideal. All of these factors and probably many more have helped give us the man-child we know today.<br />
<br />
===The trolls are even worse people than Chris===<br />
Another frequently heard line of reasoning is that the trolls have gone way too far, and have demonstrated that they're even worse than Chris, or at least equally pathetic. For example, [[BlueSpike]]'s sadistic abuse of his control over Chris [[BLUESPIKE#Encyclopedia_Dramatica_Troll_War|outraged even trolls]]. And, of course, who really has no life here: Chris, or the people who [[CWCki|obsessively document and debate everything he does]]?<br />
<br />
===For the sake of Bob and Barbara's sanity===<br />
At this point in time it is safe to say that Chris's parents have been just as fatigued as Chris by the actions of trolls. Some argue that his parents should not have to suffer for his wrongdoings, and therefore think that Chris should be left alone just so his parents can enjoy the last few years of their lives in peace.<br />
<br />
==Reasons against white knighting==<br />
===Chris lacks empathy himself===<br />
:''See also: [[Chris and death]] and [[Chris and his Ego]].''<br />
Chris cannot put himself in your shoes or accept that you have been where he is. He has no "theory of mind": if you used to be as shy around women as he is today, in his mind the fact that you aren't shy anymore makes your experience inapplicable to his situation. To Chris, the fact you got over it and he hasn't yet makes the two cases entirely different. He doesn't want to solve his problems by trying what worked for you, he only wants you to pity him for having problems, until he magically dreams up [[Dating education|his own solution]].<br />
<br />
:<font color="#009900">'''RocketFox:''' My father died of liver cancer and cirrohosis a day ago ;~; he drank a ton and it hurt him - I'm only 11 and I dunno what to do ;~;</font><br />
:<font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' RocketFox, you will soon recover from your father's accident, I guess it is; DO NOT DRINK Alcohol yourself; STAY OFF THAT JUNK.</font><ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref><br />
<br />
Chris's interpretation of the death of RocketFox's dad as an accident shows that he didn't even bother to look up what cirrhosis is. Immediately afterward, he started talking about a sexy dance.<br />
<br />
Chris's reactions to suicide are very telling. After [[Ryan Cash]] died because of Chris, Chris marveled at how much power he had right after he tried to publicly console [[Clyde Cash]].<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]</ref> When [[Sarah May]] attempted suicide because of Chris, his reasons for her to stay alive were "I'd feel terrible" and "I'd just cry."<ref>[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May]]</ref> When Chris broke up with [[Ivy]], he somehow concocted, in his head, an assumption that she had committed suicide. Even after having lost so many dear friends to suicide, he still had no problems telling Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] to [[death threats|kill themselves]]. Many people who have had to deal with suicidal people or have lost relatives and friends due to suicides themselves might not exactly find this amusing.<br />
<br />
In the [[Common_Questions#22_February_2010|22 February 2010]] edition of the [[CWCipedia]]'s "Common Questions", Chris listed the top ten worst things to have ever happened to him. The deaths of "two True and Good Women who [he] had friendships with," [[PandaHalo]] and [[Sarah Jackson]], ranked seventh. Those tragic events ranked below getting banned from a game store, finding out two people from said store were posting info about him on ED, and having his personal websites hacked.<br />
<br />
On [[Twin Falling Towers|1 November 2009]], Chris made a video involving Clyde being as "weak as the Twin Towers" and used his mouse cursor as a plane flying into them.<ref>[[Twin Falling Towers]]</ref><br />
<br />
When Rashid Ali Abdul, an Iranian [[trolls|fan]], told him that her country's religious authorities sentenced her to death by beheading for reading ''Sonichu'', Chris said that he was sorry and that the situation was "pitiful".<ref>[[Mailbag 8|Mailbag #8]]</ref><br />
<br />
While some of this can be attributed to Chris's [[autism]], a condition that often results in a lack of empathy, most autistics can at least learn how to express empathy through a combination of carefully reading the emotions of others and thinking about how a situation affects other people. Chris refuses to seek serious counseling or psychiatric help for this sort of thing - but that's another point.<br />
<br />
===Autism does not excuse a terrible person===<br />
Chris knows he has trouble understanding non-verbal social cues due to his autism,<ref>[[Quizzes#Autism Quiz]]</ref> and yet he still jumps the gun on interpreting other people's intentions all the time.<br />
<br />
Autism, in and of itself, does not create a failure as massive as Chris Chandler. A majority of autistics manage to get psychiatric help for their problem and/or are able to develop social and emotional skills so they can cope with their disability and lead rewarding and rich lives. Yet while Chris acknowledges he has a problem, he refuses to do anything more than see the [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] at his church, who is not a professional trained in the treatment of autism spectrum disorders.<ref>[[Vivian's AIM chat]]</ref> <br />
<br />
Chris is fully capable of understanding the consequences of his actions. He has a sense of morality (even if he often ignores it in favor of his own selfish interests). He would be (and has been) held accountable for his own actions in a court of law (and rightfully so). The fact he is a racist, a homophobe, and a chauvinist have nothing to do with his autism.<br />
<br />
===Chris is beyond pity===<br />
<br />
[[Image:Chrischantwoface.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's mood is all over the place, even between videos posted shortly after each other. "[[Happy Sonichu Day|Thank you for your support]]"... "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Goddamn womanizing raping trollin' stupid pickle-suited n&mdash;!]]"]]<br />
<br />
Chris is capable of doing some very bad things when provoked, which is a quite understandable (if not acceptable) response to trolling. However, "provocation" in this case doesn't necessarily mean harassment or trolling. Merely disagreeing with Chris or asking him why he does what he does can provoke an attack, up to and including threats of violence and death. When Chris is annoyed, frustrated, or overcome by desire or lust, he's capable of doing ''nasty'' things. Moreover, when Chris loses it, he doesn't think of the consequences of his actions at all, and his expressions of outrage are completely out of proportion to the provocation — often more outrageous in themselves than whatever the trolls did.<br />
<br />
Chris [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|insulted little kids]] during card games and scared some of them away from visiting [[The GAMe PLACe]]. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], who frequented The GAMe PLACe and knew Chris in real life years before he was discovered by the Internet, couldn't list any redeeming qualities he possessed.<br />
<br />
Chris sexually harassed a [[Megan|woman]] in real life. Megan made it explicitly clear to him that his physical contact and comments to her were unacceptable, but he continued anyway, convinced that eventually she would learn to love being molested by a mentally ill man-child and become his [[Sweethearts|Sweetheart From The Ground-Up]].<br />
<br />
After Megan yelled at Chris for uploading [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingerbanging her]] to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], he did not apologize,<ref name="Megan Saga">[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]</ref> but rather explained to her (in a terribly [[naïve]] way) how a handjob works, under the misguided assumption that she merely was upset because she didn't recognize the sex act being performed, or in the hope that she would rationalize what he did on this basis. He then had the nerve to say to her, "I am hurting SOOOOO MUCH MORE than you can be."<ref name="Megan Saga"/> Why? Not because of the picture, but because the trolls were being mean to him. Yes, ''him''. Based on [[List of Chris's ED edits|his ED edits]], he was more concerned with people thinking he was fingering his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] than he was with defending Megan's honor.<br />
<br />
After each of his online relationships ends, Chris starts looking for a new [[sweetheart]] right away, ''even if she died''. No matter the setback, his ego keeps getting bigger.<br />
<br />
In mid-July 2009, he addressed a person named [[The July 10th Messages|"SonichuIzCool"]] on YouTube. SonichuIzCool was (''is'') probably the only genuine fan of ''Sonichu'' discovered to date, someone who tried to defend Chris and his comic. She was also genuinely mentally retarded. In his YouTube message, Chris called her "naïve and [[slow in the mind]]." He told her she had to "come out where [he] can meet [her]." Another side of this incident is that his YouTube account had been recently hacked, and he had managed to recover it this time, thus avoiding all of the nasty evil damage the trolls ''might'' have caused. After he posted this video, though, he got his account suspended due to ''his own actions''.<br />
<br />
In early November 2009, in his attempt to blackmail Clyde Cash, Chris went so far as to mock the terrorist attacks of the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center]] on 9/11. When feeling angry at Clyde Cash, he not only thought it would be a good idea to blackmail him, but used the ''destruction of two skyscrapers full of people after being hit by airliners full of jet fuel and human beings'' as a metaphor for how weak he thought Clyde was. When people got angry, he tried to fix things by turning the WTC towers into cake candles. To the best of anyone's knowledge, Chris was never coaxed or encouraged by an outside source to use the WTC images. He came up with this reprehensible idea all on his own.<br />
<br />
[[Image:MikesWedding.jpg|thumb|right|Happily forever after.]]<br />
<br />
In January 2010, a fan named Mike Jackson asked Chris for advice, whether he should [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|watch porn with his family]] and [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|buy a prostitute for his son]], Mike Junior, or not. Chris, being such an [[Dating Education|expert]], encouraged him to do so. In the end Mike Jr. ran away with the prostitute, and Mike asked Chris to make a [[YouTube]] video asking his son to come back home. Unfortunately, Chris is under a lot of [[stress]], and could not make the video. Mike Jr. is now married to the prostitute in Las Vegas, and his father died from a sleeping pill overdose. Chris didn't even give a damn about the obituary linked by Mike's wife, and responded to his son's grief and anger with three words: [[Chris and remorse|"I am sorry."]]<br />
<br />
===Chris cares only for himself===<br />
Chris spends [[monthly tugboat|your tax money]] on luxuries and steals from his parents to buy [[PSN|video games]] he'll never play. He has the basic skills necessary to hold down a job, so long as it didn't require him to do much interacting with other people, and programs exist specifically to find appropriate jobs for the mentally challenged, but Chris hasn't even tried since being fired from [[Wendy's]]. <br />
<br />
Further reinforcing his selfishness and laziness, Chris and his family strongly agree it's better for him to hole up in his room and get paid for doing absolutely nothing than to seek out the challenge of finding gainful employment in the real world. This is based on the (quite possibly untrue) assertion that Chris can earn more on disability than from a job. By taking advantage of the government through vastly exaggerated claims of an easily manageable illness which they refuse to help Chris treat, Chris's parents are assured a steady income in the form of his room-and-board payments, and don't have to worry about Chris getting in trouble with the law [[Chris and the Law|again]] when he has another breakdown in public.<br />
<br />
===Chris is not a good net citizen===<br />
{{quote|I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!|Chris, on reader participation via [[Twitter]].}}<br />
Chris is more concerned with spreading his own version of [[Honest Content|honest truth]] than being a good net citizen. He has adopted the mentality that most spammers have adopted: who cares about things like terms of service and account suspensions and masses of pissed-off people as long as his message gets through? He won't participate in the communities of the sites he posts on. This is not mere ''passivity'' in those communities, which might still be tolerable; he ''deliberately opposes'' such participation. Most people, while not bothering to contribute to communities, would not at least make deliberate efforts to hinder the community. On [[deviantART]], [[YouTube]] and [[Flipnote Hatena]], he disables all comments, probably because he knew he'd not get any praise anyway — yet this ignores the fact that open commenting is part of the nature of these sites and disabling comments should be done only if it's being clearly used for flagrant abuses of the system, like spam and votebotting. He regards YouTube purely as a video publishing venue and not as a tool for engaging in discussion with his "fans". He created his [[Wikipedia]] user page purely to spread his own message, and did not come to Wikipedia to participate in building an encyclopedia. If the site owners block<!--see talk page--> him, he just comes up with another account or a sockpuppet. The thought of apologizing, getting old accounts reinstated, or the possibility that people who block him might be trying to send him a message never cross his mind.<br />
<br />
Chris's behavior on [[CWCipedia]] provides many more examples of his selfish attitude, such as the banner ad crisis in late 2009. He doesn't understand what it ''really'' means that the website is neither hosted nor paid for by him personally, and what sort of things the administration typically does on a website like his. He can't or won't understand simple principles like "webhost's house, webhost's rules," or "beggars can't be choosers," but instead believes that since the site has his name on it, it should be run according to his every demand.<br />
<br />
===Chris will reject your advice===<br />
[[Image:0231-MrsSanfordsWiseWords.jpg|thumb|right|What are you going to tell Chris that his [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|favorite teacher]] didn't tell him 15 years ago?]]<br />
Someone [[White knight emails|carefully explained to Chris why he is a sexist]]. In response, Chris got angry. He is only interested in a guide on how to attract women without first making any changes to himself. Most ridiculous: he denies being overweight.<br />
<br />
Read [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian's AIM chat]]. Vivian actually used to be a counter-troll, and warned Chris several times that [[PandaHalo]] was a troll. Chris fell for PandaHalo anyway. She then tried to talk some damn sense on him over AIM. But Chris proved to be so goddamn stubborn, she actually tossed the towel and became a troll out of spite. In Vivitheg's words: "i've tried for 3 hours now; it's like fighting a wall, i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try." Not only has she long since joined the troll ranks, but Chris even began [[Sign Destruction Video|berating and sending threats]] to his biggest white knight ever.<br />
<br />
===Chris will reject your disclosure of the truth===<br />
* [[Hanna]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.<br />
* [[Lori Lopez]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.<br />
* [[Blanca]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.<br />
* [[PandaHalo]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite [[Vivitheg]]'s warnings.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails]]</ref><br />
* [[Robert Simmons V]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.<br />
* [[JK Productions]] was a troll pretending to be an entire videogame development company, and Chris fell for it.<br />
* [[Sarah May]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.<br />
* [[Sarah Jackson]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.<br />
* [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.<br />
* [[Julie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.<br />
* [[Ivy]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite warnings from the counter-troll that must not be named.<br />
* [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.<br />
* [[Emily]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.<br />
* [[Kacey]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. She also married [[CChanSonichuCWC|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]].<br />
* [[Father Call|Matthew, Kacey's father]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.<br />
* [[Jackie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.<br />
<br />
See a pattern here? Do you really think he will believe any evidence you send him proving that every fan he has, and pretty much every person he has been in contact with over the past year, is a troll?<br />
<br />
===Chris's normal life is often weirder than the trolling===<br />
Chris won't take your advice, so he will fall for trolling. Trolls do weird things and Chris believes almost everything. But even if Chris had no white knights or trolls, his life would still be weird.<br />
<br />
Chris's own accomplishments, without any external suggestion or assistance, are sometimes even more jaw-dropping than what the trolls think up. His [[Chris and the Law#Law troubles|previous brushes]] with [[Jerkops|authority figures]] and his [[Attraction Sign|bizarre]] [[Fridays After Five|behavior]] during his outside leisure time are good examples.<br />
<br />
===Chris asks for it, and always recovers===<br />
Hellbent on spreading his version of the truth because he's TRUE and HONEST, Chris cannot realize that his edit warring on Encyclopedia Dramatica was practically a squeal begging for more trolling.<br />
<br />
[[wiktionary:TMI|TMI]] is a tactic Chris uses that usually leads to him abusing himself. Since Chris insists on revealing the most minute details of his life to everyone he meets, the trolls always get more information to fuel further acts of trolling. White knights cannot stop our hero from being Honest.<br />
<br />
Chris doesn't get embarrassed either. Oh, his nudes and lewd acts are all over the internet? No big deal! [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|All adults do that kind of thing]], so what's the problem?<br />
<br />
Chris managed to fully recover from the depressing [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] mentioned above (and quite quickly, too) and proceeded to fail even harder for months. Likewise, despite professing great emotional distress, he bounced back from [[CWC is Sad|the loss of Kacey]] in [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|a matter of hours]]. So what's the problem?<br />
<br />
[[Image:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|right|180px|True, true.]]<br />
<br />
===Chris made himself an outcast===<br />
High school and college are the places and moments where people are given their first and often only chance to become a functioning part of society. They gave Chris an even greater chance because he's [[autistic]]. They lent him a friendly, caring hand and opened themselves to his friendship, males and females alike. And what did Chris do? He ''refused, by choice,'' to associate with anyone who wasn't female, young, rich, white, and within the Charlottesville area. <br />
<br />
When [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] gave him a chance to reform his behavior, he kept going with his bullshit, and was rightly kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a full year. What did he learn from that? He learned that Mary Lee Walsh was an evil hag with a personal vendetta against him. He was given ''several'' chances to learn that his [[Attraction sign|loitering and soliciting]] were not appropriate behavior in a public place, and what did he learn? He learned that mall cops are [[Jerkops]], that [[Virginia is for Virgins]], and that his [[Love Quest]] was a matter of him against the world, with the world in the role of the villain. After he was kicked out of The GAMe PLACe (where he was again given more leeway than most people ever would have gotten, out of a sense of misguided pity), he was barred from the last place in Ruckersville that was still open to him, and left with only one place: his home.<br />
<br />
Now, it's too late for Chris. He was given a friendly hand, but he angrily bit it, and that hand will never reach out to him again. He doesn't even belong in his own home anymore. He spends most of his time in exile in his fantasy land of [[CWCville]], the one and only place still open to him, and that place ''doesn't even exist''.<br />
<br />
===[[Stress]]===<br />
In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to get up-to-date and to thwart the troll output. They'd probably have to lie and pretend to be a girl or video game designer to even capture his attention. This combined with Chris's usual responses is enough to make any sane non-professional psychologist [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|crash into slumber]].<br />
<br />
===Chris will not even read your message===<br />
The spam filter is a powerful innovation of good ol' America Online. Any e-mails sent to his private address will be deleted, probably unread, and any e-mails sent to the [[Mailbag]], if they even get published, will be [[Mailbag 29|given one-word replies and ignored]].<br />
<br />
===The trolling will not cease===<br />
Even if white knights get to Chris somehow, there is no endgame in which Chris will be free from trolls before his death.<br />
<br />
In school, Chris was trolled by his classmates. He was even trolled by one of his [[Joshua Martinez|real life friends]]. In college, he was trolled by friends who grew sick of his bullshit (e.g. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]), and by [[Anna McLerran|girls]] [[Hannah|annoyed]] by his "attraction methods" and rampant, unabashed sexism. If Chris quit the Internet tomorrow, he would still be trolled by a society that refuses to tolerate ignorant man-children flouting its rules.<br />
<br />
If everyone trying to create his next fake sweetheart suddenly got bored and quit, Chris would unwittingly seek out new trolls to take their place, and we know newfags are more than willing.<br />
<br />
If Chris isn't assigned a custodian after his parents die, his story will probably end when he falls victim to some con artist who swindles him out of his [[monthly tugboat]] and perhaps his home. If Chris does get assigned a custodian, he will continue his antics until the custodian kicks him out or bans him from the Internet. If the custodian bans Chris from the Internet, that's Chris trolling himself.<br />
<br />
If Chris gets institutionalized, he will attract real life trolls at the mental hospital. If Chris does not go into an institution and instead ends up in prison due to circumstances that cannot be foreseen, he will be trolled there as well.<br />
<br />
If the entire world reforms and decides to leave Chris alone, his own sense of victimization will override any benefit. Consider that Chris felt persecuted simply by observing [[Jerks|males who had more success than himself]]. He regards legitimate assertions of authority as rank brutality. [[Adam Stackhouse]] managed to upset Chris to a degree that CWC observers rate among the most impressive to date, and he did it without even knowing that Chris existed at the time. Bleak as it is, unless Chris embarks on a program of radical self-improvement and/or learns some humility, and manages against the odds to shake off both his legions of abusers and seamy reputation, he will forever feel like a [[Kick the Autistic|thoroughly-kicked autistic]].<br />
<br />
===The trolling helps Chris and, indeed, others===<br />
If Chris were just some random nobody on the Internet, he'd be doing nothing but playing video games and occasionally drawing unsellable comics until his parents died. Then he'd be institutionalized. He'd remain without social skills, a virgin all his life, with no job, success or future.<br />
<br />
Instead, Chris's antics have become a cultural phenomenon that — without exaggeration — is something extraordinary, unique, and which likely won't be replicated in any shape or form for years to come. Chris has secured his place among such luminaries as the Time Cube Guy and John Titor, and unlike the Time Cube Guy, you can actually comprehend what Chris is saying most of the time. Chris interacting with the world through his websites and YouTube has drawn in a crowd of people who are participating in an unprecedented, continual piece of performance art of a kind that would have been unheard of only a few years ago. He brings entertainment to thousands of people all over the world, an accomplishment that most could never dream of achieving — the kind of thing that would give Dane Cook a stiffy just to consider. His Internet fame is actually a sort of success in its own right, and may bring him further success. There are thousands of people out there that are so fascinated by him that they study his life on a daily basis.<br />
<br />
One could argue that if Chris eventually "retired" from this comedy act by actually coming to terms with his problems, seeking professional help, and completely reforming (and selling media rights to his life's story to the highest bidder, like all sensible people would do), he could live the rest of his life secure and probably moderately wealthy. The troll audience would give him a standing ovation for entertaining them for as long as he did, and move on to the next piece of tragicomedy brought to us by the emerging Web technologies. We have seen far more messed-up celebrity stories already; Chris's tale is at least quite different from the norm and engaging.<br />
<br />
What's more, the trolls provide him with an actual social outlet to learn and grow in life. Instead of being an unemployable, hideous, fat, virgin bedroom-dweller that nobody has ever heard of, he's an Internet-famous unemployable, hideous, fat, virgin bedroom dweller and this by itself increases his chances of getting friends and a girl. He may even end up employed, too, probably appearing in an advertisement or sponging off royalties from any biographical medium, whether it be a book, movie, or TV series. He could become the next William Hung if he put half an ounce of effort into it.<br />
<br />
Also, Chris's constant failure at life has inspired [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|hundreds]] to self-improvement. Really, he's accomplishing a pretty good thing here.<br />
<br />
===Chris treats "fans" and white knights like crap===<br />
If you try to white knight him, his response is merely to block you on YouTube, AIM or any other messenger service and never respond. He accuses practically all white knights of being trolls. Quite ironic, isn't it? He screams "I'M STRAIGHT!" when you tell him up front that you're a guy. When you tell him his current "girlfriend" is actually a troll, he'll accuse you of wanting to "break up the relationship for the lulz." He'll be rude, won't listen and won't read between the lines. He will always bite the hand that feeds him, so you should just let him wallow in his own self loathing.<br />
<br />
{{quote|Whatever.|Send Chris a 400-word, well-reasoned email &mdash; get a [[Mailbag 29#Whatever|1-word reply]] back.}}<br />
{{quote|You can go f*** yourself.|[[Mailbag 43#Go Fuck Yourself, too!|A not-so reasonable reply]] to reasonable criticism.}}<br />
<br />
Chris doesn't treat his (perceived) fans much better. Even aside from the SonichuIzCool incident mentioned above, Chris has severe problems answering questions from his fans (or trolls who pretend to be positive fans), and will often react in a hostile manner to everything he sees as negative or offensive. His [[Mailbag]] is the most obvious example. He hates being corrected, and tenaciously clings to his misinformed beliefs; his insistence that Asperger's Syndrome and autism are unrelated is a good example of this. When or if he's having a good day and manages to answer questions from fans at all, he often gives them very brief, one or two word answers that do not elaborate on anything, or outright ignore parts of the question. Not only is he terse, he's also slow to act; for example, it [[Brutal Legend Plus|took him three days to realize]] that a [[Brutal Legend|video he uploaded]] was seriously broken. He also promised that [[Sonichu Fan Promo|a spectacular fan creation]] would be officially featured in the ''Sonichu'' comic &mdash; and it ultimately was, ''over a year later''.<br />
<br />
Most webcomics have a specific schedule that they have decided to follow. Many webcomics fail to live up to them &ndash; some less, some more; some for good reasons, some have no excuse whatsoever. Chris didn't have a set schedule for the comic for the longest time, but then agreed to update the comic on a daily basis, a schedule which even the most well-funded webcomic artists would consider particularly demanding. In February and March 2010, there have been few updates to the comic. When the inevitable complaints about schedule slip started to come, Chris snapped at his fans by saying that inspiration takes its time, forgetting that it was ''he'' who decided daily updates were the way to go. As the "Great Director Chandler", he could have the power to decide what schedule to follow, but instead, he chose to attack his fans.<br />
<br />
==Examples==<br />
:''Read: [[White knight emails]]''<br />
<br />
[[Svenka]] is a counter-troll.<br />
<br />
On 6 [[May 2009]], [[YouTube]] user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/[http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePinchisDaBomb ThePinchisDaBomb] tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/softerthanhardware YouTube]</ref> The Pinch has also threatened [[BlueSpike]] saying he has information from his friends but the thing is '''BLUESPIKE HAS NO FRIENDS'''.<br />
<br />
====TV Tropes====<br />
[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu The TV Tropes article on ''Sonichu''] used to have a white knight message as the first text of the article, with a link back to this very page. The message is reproduced below:<br />
<br />
{{quote|Hey Chris! If you're reading this: you seriously need to get help from licensed professionals, before the stuff you do gets you thrown in prison or forcibly committed. And we're sorry, but you have no real fans - the people you think are your fans are really either trolls or laughing at you behind your back. Every. Last. One. Please listen to us - for once.|- Concerned tropers}}<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, the editor in question and fails to realize that [[Chris and his ego|their message, while well intentioned, will do absolutely nothing]] and Chris will simply ignore it even if he does [[Mailbag 52|fully read and input it for better development. Thank you for your time.]] The message was later removed due to a shift in policy regarding the article.<br />
<br />
==Conclusion==<br />
As good as your intentions may be, there is no conceivable way any mortal human alive can reach Chris and change him for the better. Your efforts will unfortunately fail, and he will just brush you aside, seeing no difference between you and the trolls. Nothing short of divine intervention, revelation, or a horrifyingly close brush with death will change him. You would be best to leave him be and find something else to do with your time. All we can do is hope that one of the three aforementioned scenarios happen at some point, [[Chris and Religion|though the first two seem highly unlikely]].<br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references /><br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/White_knight White Knighting] article at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].<br />
<br />
[[Category:People]]<br />
[[Category:Trolling]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Christian_Weston_Chandler...Yep,_I%27m_on_TV_:)&diff=153821
Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)
2011-12-05T06:33:41Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Honest}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:DVDReleaseCut.jpg|thumb|Chris-chan: Because making a homemade DVD about yourself justifies your existence.]]<br />
<br />
'''''Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)''''' is [[Chris's]] homemade DVD, featuring various video clips Chris had made before his Internet fame, and also his actual, if meager, TV appearances. Despite its title, very little of the material on the DVD was ever featured on TV.<br />
<br />
Chris originally sent copies of the DVD only to a select few people, but nevertheless thought him making the DVD was an [[Chris and his Ego|important enough achievement]] to mention repeatedly in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]] and elsewhere. He also believed that people would actually be interested of buying a copy along with other merchandise, and even planned a [[Sony|Blu-ray]] release.<ref>[[3 December 2009]]</ref> Suffice to say, the disc was actually burned with a Magnavox DVD recorder out of material that appears to have been transferred off of VHS tapes, and doesn't actually approach commercial quality, even if it actually had any interesting content that people would actually pay for. Chris possibly thinks that lack of content and video quality that was abysmal to begin with will mysteriously look better when burned on [[Sonichu 10|hi-def]] discs.<br />
<br />
Naturally, since this relic was so profoundly ''important'' in Chris's mind, it piqued the curiosity of the trolls, and a copy was eventually obtained by [[LordSillynipples]] by posing as Chris's childhood friend and first crush, [[Tiffany Robinson]].<br />
<br />
==Tracklisting==<br />
<br />
===''C.W.C. On TV'' Trailer===<br />
To reduce marketing costs, Chris put the trailer for the DVD directly into the DVD. The trailer provides a summary of the rest of the features, in case you don't want to melt your brain by actually watching the whole DVD.<br />
<br />
===[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|C.W.C. Super Sonic Winner!!!]]===<br />
From 26 February [[1990s#1994|1994]], shortly after Christian's 12th birthday. Local news coverage of him winning a ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' contest and earning a $1,000 shopping spree for video games. To date the pinnacle of Christian's entire existence, this event fueled the delusional manchild he is today.<br />
<br />
===[[Song of Christian]]===<br />
Filmed on 15 May [[1990s#1998|1998]], when Christian was sixteen. Presented as an episode of ''The Christian Chandler Show'', Christian gives a dramatic reading of a poem he wrote about himself. He then spends twenty minutes explaining the meaning of each line, about fifteen minutes of which is dedicated to him leafing through his [[hand-drawn Nintendo Power magazine|hand-drawn ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]].<br />
<br />
===[[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway#Prototype|''Mario Kart 64'' LEGO Raceway Prototype]] Animation===<br />
<br />
===[[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|''Mario Kart 64'' LEGO Raceway]] Animation by C.W.C. on Game Boy Camera===<br />
Filmed on 4 June [[1990s#1998|1998]].<br />
<br />
Hey, do you like ''Mario Kart''? Do you like LEGO Blocks? Do you like stop-motion animation? More importantly, do you like hearing the same fifteen-second clip of music played over and over and over while you watch grainy black-and-white 8-bit footage of LEGO men getting into car wrecks? Then this is the clip for you!<br />
<br />
'''SPOILER:''' LEGO Christian wins the race. [[Chris and his Ego|No surprises there.]]<br />
<br />
===[[The City of Cwicville Tour!|Unfinished CWCville Tour]]===<br />
Filmed 12 July [[2000s#2001|2001]].<br />
<br />
===[[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]===<br />
[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|OH BOY!]]<br />
Filmed 16 October [[1990s#1999|1999]]. The local news media do a fluff piece on the rise of the ''Pokémon'' fandom, and Chris happens to be among the small children playing the game. This clip provides the DVD cover with its money line: <br />
<br />
{{quote|I'll send out my Dragonair, even though it has 60 Damage on it. Oh boy! It has 3 Energy on it... Slam Attack!}}<br />
<br />
===Christian Chandler's [[Animal Crossing Documentary|''Animal Crossing'' Documentary]]===<br />
Filmed 22 November [[2000s#2003|2003]]. An hour-long video of Christian playing ''Animal Crossing''. If the video is any indication, ''Animal Crossing'' is about as exciting to watch as organizing files in Microsoft Windows.<br />
<br />
===[[The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special|C.W.C.'s ''Animal Crossing''/''Mario Paint'' 24th Wedding Anniversary Special]]===<br />
Created in honor of [[Bob]] and [[Barbara]] Chandler's anniversary, on 7 June [[2004]].<br />
<br />
===[[So Need a Cute Girl|"So Need A Cute Girl" Music Video]]===<br />
Filmed 20 [[2004#December|December 2004]]. Music video for the lead single off [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)|Christian's debut album]].<br />
<br />
===Chris Chan's [[Harvey Birdman Commercial|''Harvey Birdman'' Commercial]]===<br />
Filmed 24 February [[2005]]. Christian enters a contest where the goal is to deliver a creative advertisement for a ''Harvey Birdman'' DVD. He instead blathers on about himself, ''Sonichu'', and Mary Lee Walsh. The time constraints laid out in the contest rules are obvious, as Christian struggles to cram his [[random-access humor]] into a thirty-second soundbite so that he sounds like the Micro Machines man.<br />
<br />
===Chris Chan's [[Pixelated PS3]]===<br />
Filmed on 28 November [[2006]]. Christian enters another contest requiring him to shill a product in under a minute, this time a PlayStation 3. To answer the question "What would you do for a PS3?", Chris first explains everything he would like to do but won't (e.g., save up the money and go to a store), and would but can't (forsake a cure for autism), before revealing that he has constructed a PS3 from LEGO blocks and [[Pixelblocks]].<br />
<br />
===C.W.C.'s SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics===<br />
Still images taken from [[1980s#1982|1982]]-[[2007]] with interspersed commentary that gives new insight into Chris's past. The accompanying audio is from Chris's "Station [[KCWC]]" mix tapes and his Christian and the Hedgehog Boys album.<br />
<br />
===[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]===<br />
Filmed 24 February [[2007]]. In celebration of his milestone 25th birthday, Chris delivers an address summarizing the lessons he has learned in his life and how they should be applied by future generations of "ladies and gentlemen and dudes of all teenages."<br />
<br />
==Great Director's Cut==<br />
As a way to save face after the DVD was leaked onto the Internet, Chris claimed<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009]]</ref> that the trolls didn't have the "Director's Cut", which includes footage of Chris's [[Christmas]] from [[2004]] and takes from the [[Pixelated PS3]] commercial.<br />
<br />
Some argue that Chris might be bluffing, but even if the content does exist, it seems likely that it was an afterthought made after Chris got trolled so that only he would own the TRUE and HONEST copy. And even if trolls were able to obtain the Director's Cut, Chris could pull a George Lucas and say he has a Special Edition DVD. And if that gets stolen, he'll pull a Disney and say he has a "Diamond Edition" DVD.<br />
<br />
He later told [[Regina]] that he has a "Master Copy" with over ''six hours'' of tedious crap.<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref><br />
<br />
==Images from the Physical DVD==<br />
<center><br />
<gallery><br />
Image:062-CWCsDVD.jpg|Cover.<br />
Image:DVDReleaseCut.jpg|The cover of the release edition.<br />
Image:063-2-CWCDVDWholeMaster.jpg|And the Director's Cut Edition.<br />
Image:063-1-CWCsDVD Label.jpg|Even DVD labels cannot be spared from the horror.<br />
Image:ChrisDVDCD2.jpg|We asked for a "disc image". The torrent went up later, but this was delivered as a cop-out.<br />
Image:CHRISDVD.jpg|Parental Advisory - VERY HONEST content.<br />
Image:ChrisDVD3.jpg|Chapter menu, complete with Magnavox DVD/VCR styling.<br />
Image:CHRISletter.jpg|Letter to troll who received DVD. <br />
Image:Chrislist1.jpg|''Chandler's List'' - It's like ''Schindler's List'', except you'd want to be sent to a gas chamber.<br />
Image:Chrislist2.jpg|'''Spoiler:''' Most of these people went to school with Chris and probably have no idea who he is. <br />
Image:Chrislist3.jpg|And here's the last page.<br />
Image:Chrispaper1.jpg|"Now I'm even more perverted, sexist, and homophobic."<br />
Image:Chrispaper2.jpg|People who Chris couldn't find pictures of to include - consider yourselves lucky.<br />
</gallery><br />
</center><br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?injjxctj5wi Torrent (with working trackers)]<br />
* [http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=6581777D1899DCB6 Entire DVD on YouTube.]<br />
* [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/dvd/ Contents of DVD slideshow.]<br />
* [http://www.megaupload.com/?d=EL8AHJ8P Slideshow download.]<br />
<br />
{{CWC on TV}}<br />
{{Relics of Fail}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]<br />
[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris%27s_Wikipedia_profile&diff=153819
Chris's Wikipedia profile
2011-12-05T06:32:10Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: Does this really need to be in the userspace?</p>
<hr />
<div>#REDIRECT [[Chris's Wikipedia profile]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris%27s_Wikipedia_profile&diff=153818
Chris's Wikipedia profile
2011-12-05T06:30:58Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Honest}}<br />
<br />
The following is the '''profile''' that Chris wrote about himself on his [[Chris and Wikipedia|Wikipedia user page]]. Links have been added by [[CWCki]] to provide further details, but the text itself is Chris's unedited, unabridged account of his life up to 1 [[May 2009]].<br />
<br />
<font size="6">User:ChrisChanSonichu</font><br />
<br />
----<br />
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia<br />
<br />
=='''Christian Weston Chandler'''==<br />
<br />
<br />
==='''The One, The Only, From his own Honest-to-God Words'''===<br />
<center>[[Image:CWC22c.jpg]]</center><br />
<br />
'''Christopher Weston Chandler''' was born February 24, 1982, approximately 5:30 AM, at the Martha Jefferson Hospital in [[Charlottesville]], Virginia from mother, [[Barbara Anne Weston Chandler]] and father, [[Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] He was diagnosed with [[autism|High-Functional Autism]] in his early childhood. As he grew up, he was mainstreamed within the normal classrooms of local schools and society, to possibly break out of his Autistic Shell.<br />
<br />
In his later years, he would aspire to earn good grades to make [[Honor Roll]] in [[Providence Middle School|Providence Middle]] and [[Manchester High School|Manchester High]] Schools in Chesterfield County, Graduate with the Class of 2000 with a Diploma, and later get onto the Dean's List and earn an Associate's Degree and [[Certificate for Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] (CADD) at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]].<br />
<br />
And in his Adult Life, he has suffered the social [[stress]]es of being a [[Chris and health|healthy]] adult male [[virgin with rage|virgin]] for years, and searching for a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl|Boyfriend-Free Woman]] to make into a [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|Sweetheart from being Friends First]]. It took him YEARS, but his prayers had finally been answered by [[Ivy|a Lucky woman]] within these United States.<br />
<br />
Also, he is the Internet Famous creator of the [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon]], [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]].<br />
<br />
=='''His Early Years - Birth to 1992'''==<br />
<br />
My family and I resided in a quaint 2-Story House in [[Ruckersville, Virginia]] for most of my lifetime.<br />
<br />
I was quite a cute little baby; I was blonde, but I turned brown brunette. I said my very first word at 6 Weeks of age with "Monkey" (possibly trying to say "Mommy"). While being babysat by [[abusive babysitter|a woman]] in my neighborhood, whose last name was Roach, she was angry for some reason, so she locked me in a room, all by my lonesome, and it was then at 1 1/2 Years of age, I stopped talking. During the Silent Years, my mother and father had to cope with my screams, cries and whatnot to fully understand me, which they did, and I am proud of them for that. I also attended Speech Therapy sessions with classmate, [[Joshua Martinez]], who was there due to his heavy Spanish Tongue that not too many people understood back then, at James Madison University. I started talking again at Age 7, and I well more than made up for lost time in chatter.<br />
<br />
My next-door neighbor had a daughter my age, [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]], and she and I were the [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares|best of friends]]. We would play hide and seek, swing on her swing set, hang around, talk, play by ourselves or with the other neighborhood children. She brought me a lot out of my autistic social shell for the time back then.<br />
<br />
My father raised me on [[Chris and music|music]] and [[Video games|technology]], as well as Sesame Street, Care Bears and [[Transformers Generation 1]]. But he was one of the first in line to invest and buy a Commodore 64 Computer System. He even programmed a simple game of ring-stacking on it. But he let me have it for my early Video Game Play with games including Pitfall, Q*Bert, Pole Position, and a fun [[Donald Duck impersonation|Donald Duck]] game.<br />
<br />
My second Game System was the Nintendo Game Boy that I got for Christmas, 1989, with Tetris and Teenage Muntant Ninja Turtles - Fall of the Foot Clan. I played Tetris a LOT.<br />
<br />
Also in 1989, there was a Bear Band who played at Regency Square Shopping Mall in Chesterfield County for years. The man behind the Conductor, [[Leonard Bearstein]], was English, because when I told him him through the Bear my name was Christopher, he misunderstood and started calling me Christian. That night, on the back<br />
<br />
My first Hero I looked up to was the American Rabbit, from his one movie, "[[The Adventures of the American Rabbit]]"; they REALLY SHOULD HAVE MADE A TV SERIES of him. Then in June, 1991, the SEGA Genesis rolled out, and Sonic the Hedgehog sided with the American Rabbit, but stood taller, as my Hero.<br />
<br />
I attended [[Greene County Primary School]] from Kindergarten to 3rd Grade, then I attended [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Nathaniel Greene Elementary]] for my 4th Grade. I was home-schooled for 5th Grade.<br />
<br />
Some conflict between my mother, father and the school system occurred after [[Kick the autistic|physical abuse]] from 5 faculty members late in my 4th Grade; my parents took the case against the Greene County School Board for a year or two. The board threatened to lock me away in an institution, and my family did not want that, so in September, 1992, my family and I moved to Chesterfield County, while keeping our Ruckersville Home, for better Schooling.<br />
<br />
<br />
=='''The Teenage Years'''==<br />
<br />
After moving into an apartment house in the Cloverleaf Complex, my father enrolled me into Providence Middle School for my 6th to 8th Grades; my half-sister, [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]], was schooled there as well. It was a pleasant learning experiences over those 3 years. I was taught by the respective teachers there, but the most highly noted teacher I had, who watched over and guided me in that school was Mrs. [[Virginia Sanford]]; she was Teacher of the Year one year. I achieved Honor Roll in the majority of my time there.<br />
<br />
Then I continued to Manchester High School for my 9th to 12th Grades. My father and I had moved out of the Cloverleaf, then rented a house in Surrywood for a year, then moved into a Townhouse in the Newberry area before I attended M.H.S.<br />
<br />
I continued on my Honor Roll Grade Streak ALL THE WAY THROUGH M.H.S. I took various classes between Providence Middle and Manchester High. Mostly I took [[Chris and English|English Literature]] and [[Fail|Grammer]], [[Chris and money|Mathematics]], [[Recycling|Science and Biology]], [[Stress sigh|Coping Skills]], [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|History]], and HEAVY on the [[Chris and Art|Art Classes]]. I was highly recognized for my artistic skills, by having them proudly displayed among other class-creations in the School for a while.<br />
<br />
I have made a LOT of Friends as well over the years, MOSTLY FEMALE, because I was diagnosed for getting along better with girls than boys. And in my humble opinion, I could not agree more. Although I did have a few male friends in my lifetime, who were all good, honest individuals; in general, I despise a majority of [[JERKS|the male population]], because they can be such mean and cruel individuals.<br />
<br />
In my Freshman Year, I was selected to be Manager/Water Boy for the Varsity Basketball Team. With my partner, who was Junior, [[Joseph Herring|Josheph Herring]]. He and I were good buddies. He confided in me his dating experiences with his ex-girlfriend then (I can't remember her name, but I'm sure she would remember). Poor fellow; that night she dumped him, he cried all by his lonesome in the cold all that night. I empathized with him, and I was able to help him cheer up. I lost touch with him after he graduated Class of 1998, yet I wonder what's he been up to and how he has been.<br />
<br />
I was recognized for my work on the Varsity Team and was awarded a certificate and an embroidery "M" at the end of my Freshman Year.<br />
<br />
But I was happy with my big circle of [[gal-pal]]s; we hung out a LOT, ate lunch, shared classes and all. But even though I did take the required [[Chris and sex|sexual education]] classes, I never had a First Date in my lifetime during the Middle or High School years. And as I have later learned in my Adult Years, I should have been more attentive in DATING; [[Chris and ego|I could have had my pick among my sweet gal-pals]], but I chickened out. I did have a few crushes in my lifetime, even a High School Sweetheart for 3/4 of my High-School Life, [[Kellie Andes]]. I REALLY missed out on that when I could have had the chance to take it. But I was mostly [[Naive]] (My Least Favorite Word in the English Language) on the subject.<br />
<br />
I had a very nice [[My big 18th party|18th Birthday Party]], and I had invited my gal-pals to attend.<br />
<br />
==='''Dating Education''' ===<br />
<br />
As I have proposed the idea in my adult life within my [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Comic Books]], and a bit before then, High Schools SHOULD have '''[[Dating Education]] Classes''' along with the Sexual Education Classes. In my humble opinion, Sex ED is fine for AFTER [[Third date|3 or so DATES]], but '''HOW DO WE EVEN GET TO THE FIRST DATE?!!!''' If I had the Dating Education back then, I wouldn't have to had suffered being a frustrated virgin for soo many years.<br />
<br />
<br />
=== '''Sonichu's Birth''' ===<br />
<br />
During my Seinor Year, I took a Computer Graphics Class with a Miss Chalifoux (she got married that year, but I never learned her married name). Anyway, in March, 2000, she had assigned the class to create a CD Cover and Insert; the limit was NOT to use copyrighted characters, so [[Sonic]] and [[Pikachu]] were out of the question. And on March 17, 2000, I got the idea. I had been into [[Pokemon]] since Red and Blue came out, and I had created homemade Pokemon Trading Cards of my own Pokemon Creations (Only For Fun). Anyway, in my mind, I merged Sonic and Pikachu together to create [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] in his earliest form. I soon after drew him up on paper, and then drew him on computer for the CD-Cover of my later-to-create custom CD, "[[Christian's Favorite Hits!|Christian's Favorite Hits]]".<br />
<br />
From that day, I created his origins, stories, Rosechu and [[Black Sonichu]] (later to be renamed, Blake) and more, as well as the City of [[Cwcville]], Virginia. Also, I had made him a mascot for my earlier website, "[[CWC's PokeSite 2!|CWC's PokeSite 2]]". Still the background image in that early first-computer-drawn form on there.<br />
<br />
<br />
=== '''The [[Merried Seinor Comic|Seinor]] Prom''' ===<br />
<br />
To be one with my crowd, I bought a pair of tickets, but I went there with my mother. But then I realized I was still an outcast, because I stood out more like a lonesome [[wallflower]]. But that night, my trusted [[Homos|"Peppermint Patty"-Type]] Gal-Pal, [[Tiffany Gowen]], asked me to dance with her. I hesitated at first, but she grabbed my hand and pulled me onto the dance floor. We danced for what felt like hours. It was the most pleasant experience of that night, and I thank her for dancing with me then. I hope to return the favor at our Reunion.<br />
<br />
===''' Graduation''' ===<br />
<br />
Graduation for me was a sad one then. I ONLY got recognized for my Grades with a Star Pin, yet they had MORE FANCIER AWARDS for more important qualities. I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from [[Chris and his Ego|not getting recognized for any of my Talents]]. [[Chris and anger|I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!]]<br />
<br />
I had gotten over the Award Ceremony on the Graduation Day, but to add Lemon Juice to an open wound, it was a Dark and Rainy Day that Day, and they handed out MORE TALENTED AWARDS right before handing out any diplomas. When I went up there to get mine, I was feeling depressed, upset, crestfallen and ticked off. When the award was handed to me, I took it without looking anyone in the eye, and I did not shake anyone's hands. I just walked back to my seat in the Graduating Crowd. Then soon after, I just walked the wrong way up the center aisle, found an isolated table and cried myself out. My mother found me later and comforted me; my father was ashamed of the way I acted, and he would later still be angry at recalling the moment. Tiffany also found me and gave me a caring moment of condolences back there. I gave her a plush [[Pokemon|Psyduck]] as a graduating gift beforehand.<br />
<br />
Days after Graduation, we settled and moved back to our [[14 Branchland Court|Ruckersville Home]]. But I left out two other reasons why I felt crestfallen at Graduation. I Never got the chance to ask Kellie out on a date, and more importantly, that I was leaving ALL my close Gal Friends behind.<br />
<br />
=='''College Time'''==<br />
<br />
My family and I moved back to our Ruckersville Home, and I was soon enrolled into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. I was uncertain which to major in. At first, I randomly selected a major in Marketing, or something like that. [[Lie|I passed the coursed]], but my family and I later learned that there were NOT many jobs around Charlottesville that degree would work me for, so upon my father's suggestion, I switched over to [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] (CADD). I continued to pass the courses to earn my Degree and Certificate.<br />
<br />
<br />
=== '''Start of my [[Love quest|Sweetheart Search]]''' ===<br />
<br />
While my 18th Birthday was great, I did not have a good 21st. I was attending an English Course, when soon before, we started reading "Wednesday's Child", which was about an [[Autistic]] Girl, so I told the [[JERK|MALE]] professor that I was High Functionally Autistic as well. Due to his not understanding Autism himself, and fears from that, he [[Kick the Autistic|kicked]] me out of his class on February 24, 2003; my 21st Birthday. After leaving the classroom, I found a folding plastic table with a chair by it, and I sat down, head in arms, and cried myself out the remainder of the time before the next class I had to take that day. I retook the course, with a female professor and passed it.<br />
<br />
It was also just after that day that I realized that I NEEDED A FEMALE SWEETHEART. So that was the start, and the only sensible idea I could come up with that was inexpensive, was make a paper [[sign]] stating back that year, "I am a 21-Year Old Male, seeking an 18-21-Year Old Single Female Companion."<br />
<br />
<br />
==='''Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens''' ===<br />
<br />
<br />
A couple of months had passed since I officially started my Sweetheart Search in August, 2003. Not one woman would give me the time of day or even a passing glance as I sat with the sign next to me. I felt lonely on those days.<br />
<br />
Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services", '''[[Mary Lee Walsh]]''', approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "'''You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE.'''" [[heart level|MY HEART WAS SHATTERED]] that very moment. But I did not give up; I made another sign, then a few weeks later, she did it again. I became more [[Retarded|determined]]. I created and printed ads and laid them around PVCC; created my [[MySpace]] and [[Facebook]] pages and [[Love_quest#Promotional_Images|whatnot]]. Then that B-Dog ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her quarters and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY. I reacted with [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|my own attack]] that she had been asking for the whole time. I was kicked out of PVCC for a year, and I had to take an [[Chris and anger|anger management]] course and see a psychiatrist for a while. I was allowed back in.<br />
<br />
I continued with my courses, passed with good grades; made the Dean's List and Graduated with my Degree and Certificate. This was a HAPPIER GRADUATION FOR ME, because I was Finally LOSING MY TIES WITH [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|THAT HELL-HOLE]] THAT SHOWED NO LOVE FOR ME, OR MY NOBLE SEARCH FOR [[China|TRUE LOVE]].<br />
<br />
After the first encounter with Mary, I put her into my comics from the start as MY personal MAIN Adversary, with her hoard of Impostor Police People, also known as [[Jerkops]], and the Notorious [[Count Graduon]] trapped in the glass orb on the scepter she wields.<br />
<br />
==='''The Continuing, Enduring Search''' ===<br />
<br />
<br />
As drawn in my [[Sub-Episodes]], I had my encounters outside of PVCC with the Jerkops who beat me up, dragged me around and all in my Search. It happened at the [[Fashion Square Shopping Mall]], at my Local [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] and [[Get-Tar Region|Target]]. I was even [[Chris and the law|taken to court]] after the Target incident, but because of my volunteer work with the Pokemon Trading Card Game League at the Game & Hobby Place, I was put under [[We're Being Watched|watch]] for 3 months, then found Innocent and cleared of all charges.<br />
<br />
During all this, I learned from my mother that the sign made me look [[retarded]], and eventually, I did away with the sign.<br />
<br />
I drew more comics, making them more about [[Chris-chan Sonichu|me]] than Sonichu and Rosechu (BIG MISTAKE), but I was feeling lonely, sad and all.<br />
<br />
=='''Becoming Internet Famous without having to leave Home'''==<br />
<br />
Continuing to draw and upload onto the Sonichu Site I had continue to update now and then, I did not realize that I had a growing fanbase for Sonichu, Rosechu and myself. I had received Fan-E-Mails during my after-college life in 2006.<br />
<br />
I felt pleasantly surprised.<br />
<br />
Later, in March 17, 2007, Sonichu's 7th Birtday, I realized that I was able to afford a 60GB [[PS3|Playstation 3]], so I went out and invested in one. And I would later not only play games on it, but back up my comic pages and [[Nudes|other images]], play my [[SingStar Challenge|tunes]], watch some [[Family Guy|saved flicks]], browse the [[internet]] over my shortly-later acquired Cable-Modem with Wi-Fi Router, and communicate through the [[Playstation Network]].<br />
<br />
'''<br />
**This Sub-Section's contains mentioning of a webpage of [[Chris and sex|ADULT CONTENT]]; DO NOT VISIT IT if you're squeamish or Under 18 Years of Age.**'''<br />
<br />
<br />
==='''The [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|E.D.]] Webpage'''===<br />
<br />
Around November 1, 2007, just after I purchased a Nintendo Wii from my buddy, Joshua Martinez, I found in a Google Search of "Sonichu" the beginning paragraph and [[The_GAMe_PLACe#The_GAMe_PLACe_photograph|digital photograph]] that was the start of the "Chris_chan" page, which can be found in History as "22:46, 3 November 2007 Mr. E (Talk | Contribs) (4,664 bytes) (→The Horrible Discovery)", that was just the seed of twisting around my words and whatnot for their Cheap Laughs at MY Expense.<br />
<br />
A Picture was taken THE FRIDAY NIGHT just before discovering the page by an individual who was at the Pokemon TCG League I was attending; the picture was blurry. The TWO FIENDS who dared to contribute to this SLANDEROUS MESS who were there was [[Pokemon]], [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] and Naruto card game palyer, [[Daniel Mimms]] and his buddy/accomplice [[Lucas]].<br />
<br />
After discovery, I fought, [[God and Jesus|God and Lord]] Knows how many times, [[Giant Penis Comic|long and hard]] to have that page taken down and removed from the internet forever. But sadly, my one plan of [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|TMI-Input-To-Overload-Their-Minds-And-STOP]] backfired on me, as I had inadvertently added to that heck-fire.<br />
<br />
Most of the time after, I ignored that page, but to add more of their "'''LULZ'''" or as I call it, "'''[[Laughs Under Lucricities|Laughs Under Lucrativeness]]'''", those [[The Miscreants|Malicious Individuals]] started BULLYING and TROLLING ME. Even to go so far as to Falsely Earn my trust by [[Blanca|posing as women]] on [[Vanessa AIM Chats|Instant Messages]]. I was [[Naive|tricked for months]], but I gave it the LAST [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|STRAW]] at Early March, 2009, when [[BlueSpike|one Troll]] revealed himself to me in the Audio Online Chatroom, known as [[Mumble]], to be the [[BlueSpike#Julie|THOUGHT-OF-AS-FOR-MONTHS FEMALE]] I had chatted with online.<br />
<br />
I have learned a lot from August, 2008 to Early March, 2009 between the "Women" I talked to and was tricked into trusting, I am capable of telling the difference from the truth from THEIR LIES.<br />
<br />
=='''Currently...''' ==<br />
<br />
I reside with my family at [[14 Branchland Court|our Ruckersville Home]], drawing my comics, playing video games, gettin' [[monthly tugboat|my money from the Government every month]], doing well and [[Fridays After Five|socializing locally]]. I have found my Sweetheart, who resides in another state, but she and I have been talking for over Two Months over telephone; her name is [[Ivy]]. She has proven herself to me by doing a Major Task, among many, that I required a Female Sweetheart for; she Fixed my [[Biological Clock]]. I was going to bed at 6 AM at the latest and waking mid-afternoon; now I'm falling asleep at 9 PM to Midnight, and waking at 6 to 9 AM. Also, soon after fixing my clock, [[God and Jesus]] came down and told me themselves that Ivy was TRULY the Woman I've been [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|holding out for]].<br />
<br />
She and I will be meeting soon, after she finishes her semester at the college she's attending. I have also talked to [[Keino|her father]]; I respect him as he is a True Policeman, and that he is the father of my Sweetheart.<br />
<br />
<br />
==='''Church'''===<br />
<br />
<br />
I have been going to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]] for over a year now. I was baptized there Mothers' Day of 2008. I have opened my heart for [[Trolls|God and Jesus]], and they guide me now when I need guidance.<br />
<br />
<br />
='''More Information About Myself''' =<br />
<br />
I would appreciate it if I was FULLY UNDERSTOOD as the [[Death threats|Noble Gentleman]] that I am.<br />
<br />
My mother and father are good people, I've had good role models who showed me how to act as a gentleman, [[Red Skelton]] to name one. I also see myself as a leader-figure, like [[Optimus Prime]]. I have made mistakes in my lifetime, even bad ones that could be considered "Shots to my own Foot", but I'm only human like the rest of the human population.<br />
<br />
Also, my favorite movie of all time is "[[Mary Poppins]]", and [[Britney Spears]] is my favorite Music Star.<br />
<br />
==='''And SO I MAKE IT CLEAR!'''===<br />
<br />
I Wish to be Understood, Treated and Respected as an Individual Straight Human Male in this vast crazy world of various people and all that.<br />
<br />
Show Me Some Respect, Please; I am Human like you.<br />
<br />
<br />
--'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (talk) 06:38, 3 May 2009 (UTC)<br />
<br />
{{CWCipedia|chris=Christian in his Own Words}}<br />
<br />
{{The Internet}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Historical Documents]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Ghostbusters&diff=153817
Ghostbusters
2011-12-05T06:30:28Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{quote|♪Let's go, Ghostbusters, let's go! Let's go, let's go!♪|[[CWC]]|<ref>[[Sonichu 7 Official Videobook]]</ref>}}<br />
[[Image:GhostBuggy.jpg|thumb|Brings back fond childhood memories to... uh...]] <br />
<br />
'''''Ghostbusters''''' (often '''''Filmation's Ghostbusters''''' to avoid confusion) was a syndicated television cartoon that ran sixty-five episodes in late [[1986]].<br />
<br />
==Background==<br />
If you were a child of the 80s, you probably wondered, "Why the hell is that awesome cartoon with Venkman, Egon, and Slimer called ''[[Wikipedia:The Real Ghostbusters|The '''Real''' Ghostbusters]]''"? And since there was no Wikipedia back then, your mom probably told you to stop asking stupid questions, or go outside and play.<br />
<br />
Well, thanks to a forgotten show in their back catalog, [[Wikipedia:Filmation|Filmation]] struck gold in [[1984]] when [[Wikipedia:Columbia Pictures|Columbia Pictures]] had a hit with a movie [[Wikipedia:Ghostbusters|of the same title]]. Filmation sued Columbia in [[1985]] over the use of the title ''Ghostbusters'', and in the ensuing settlement Columbia agreed that it would not use that name for a cartoon based on their film. Filmation quickly cranked out a low-budget spinoff of its 1970s live-action show to capitalize on the free marketing. The results were immanently forgettable, and destined to join the vast catalog of [[American Rabbit|cut-rate VHS cartoons]] that populated bargain bins at local grocers in the early 1990s.<br />
<br />
The fun parallel here is that, in response to Filmation's legal trolling, Columbia responded in a truly [[autism|ingenious]] fashion: they called their own cartoon series ''[[REAL Protest against the FAKE|The '''Real''' Ghostbusters]]''. That, friends, is the honest truth.<br />
<br />
When asked what he considers the five best television shows that he's ever seen, Chris was frank:<br />
<br />
{{quote|Transformers (ALL Seasons and Sets), Sonic the Hedgehog (All Shows), Pok'emon (All Seasons), Mythbusters, Filmation's Ghostbusters (Little Care for "The Real Ghostbusters"; Jake, Eddie and Tracy WERE THE ORIGINAL REAL GHOSTBUSTERS).|CWC|<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
==Premise==<br />
The Ghostbusters on the show lived in a headquarters called Ghost Command, where they would receive missions from a television called Skelevision. When going into action they would enter the Skelevator which would send them through an absurd, Rube Goldberg-esque system that would change their casual dress to safari outfits and then deposit them into their transport, the Ghost Buggy. The running gag in this sequence is that the team's leader, Jake Kong, Jr., has no difficulty going through the system, while the show's [[Christian Weston Chandler|overweight comedy relief]], Eddie Spencer, Jr., bounces around awkwardly. This "transformation sequence" was a fixture of the show, and was accompanied by the show's main theme. You can see it yourself [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgPO1J1bMDw here].<br />
<br />
==The Sonichu Connection==<br />
[[Image:Notthebathroom.jpg|thumb|Whoops!]]<br />
<br />
While the average 20-something would have struggled to remember the names of the characters in ''The Real Ghostbusters,'' Christian casually worked references to its forgotten namesake into an all-ages comic book. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], Chris was inspired to drop in a ''[[Family Guy]]''-esque non-sequitur TV reference with ''Ghostbusters'' as the vehicle. <br />
<br />
{{quote|Hmm... I feel as silly as the time that I temporary [sic] gained weight, became stupid, and went to watch television at ghost command.|[[Cartoon CWC]]<ref>[[Sonichu 7]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
Fat, stupid Cartoon CWC (played by actor and Peter Griffin-analogue [[Sammy]]) was hanging out at Ghost Command, until he mistook the Skelevator for a restroom and entered the transformation sequence with hilarious results. That is, he repeats the Eddie Spencer gag sequence almost exactly, including his final impact in the Ghost Buggy, which moans, "Ohhh...my axels!"<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references /><br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[[Wikipedia:Ghostbusters (1986 TV series)|Filmation's ''Ghostbusters'']] at [[Wikipedia]]<br />
*[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0127569/ ''Ghostbusters'' on IMDb]<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Sammy]]<br />
*[[TrollBusters]]<br />
*[[American Rabbit]]<br />
<br />
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]<br />
[[Category:Television shows]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=My_big_18th_party&diff=153816
My big 18th party
2011-12-05T06:30:07Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
[[Image:0491-CWC18th23.jpg|thumb|200px|It was simpler times for Chris back when he was 18 - five young, attractive women were in his house and he was more interested in a Sega Dreamcast he got.]]<br />
'''My Big 18th Party''' was a short text [[Christian]] wrote about his birthday in [[2000]]. It was written on 10 February [[2003]], and published the next year, in the third issue of ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]''.<br />
<br />
The story depicts what is perhaps the high-point of his life, so much so that he still wrote about it 3 years later. This was the only time Chris ever interacted with his gal pals outside of school hours.<ref>[[Kacey Call 20]]</ref><br />
<br />
The end of the poem is left hauntingly open, daring the reader to plumb the darkest depths of his or her imagination to find what this fevered wish of a madman rising could possibly be.<br />
<br />
'''SPOILER ALERT:'''<br />
<br />
It was to get some [[china]].<br />
<br />
==Chris's story==<br />
<center>'''My Big 18th Party'''<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews3.htm Sonichu's Poetry Corner (SND #3)]</ref> <br><br />
''By. Christian W. Chandler <br />
February 10, 2003''<br><br><br />
<br />
I will never forget my eighteenth birthday party; it was the best of the rest. The weekend before my real birthday, [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] and I prepared for the party I was going to host that day. We hung balloons and streamers, and we laid [[CWC Cola|refreshments]] on the table. At the door was four of my [[gal pals|high school *amigas]], and one of them brought a [[Lesbian|friend]]. We ate pepperoni pizza and drank Pepsi, it was great. As mother lit the candles, I was filling up with ecstasy. After I blew the candles, I was presented with… a big jawbreaker from [[Kellie Andes|Kellie]], an R.L. Stine novel from [[Sarah Hammer|Sarah]], a planer with stickers from Miranda and a rabbit doll with jelly beans from [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]]. We watched [[Wikipedia:Good Burger|Good Burger]] and had fun. After they left, it was done. What did I wish for? <br><br />
[[China|I’m not telling.]] 8)</center><br />
<br />
==Images from Chris's 18th birthday==<br />
Probably one of Chris's lesser embellished stories, this really did happen and Chris provided photographic evidence. Note the [[semen|curious white stain on his jeans]].<br />
<center><br />
<gallery><br />
Image:0465-CWC18thBalloons.jpg<br />
Image:0466-CWC18th1.jpg<br />
Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg<br />
Image:0471-CWC18th2.jpg<br />
Image:0472-CWC18th3.jpg<br />
Image:0473-CWC18th4.jpg<br />
Image:0475-CWC18th6.jpg<br />
Image:0476-CWC18th7.jpg<br />
Image:0477-CWC18th8.jpg<br />
Image:0478-CWC18th9.jpg<br />
Image:0480-CWC18th11.jpg<br />
Image:0481-CWC18th12.jpg<br />
Image:0483-CWC18th14.jpg<br />
Image:0484-CWC18th15.jpg<br />
Image:0485-CWC18th16.jpg<br />
Image:0486-CWC18th17.jpg<br />
Image:0487-CWC18th18.jpg<br />
Image:0488-CWC18th19.jpg<br />
Image:0489-CWC18th21.jpg<br />
Image:0490-CWC18th22.jpg<br />
</gallery><br />
</center><br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references /><br />
<br />
<br><br />
<br><br />
{{Writings}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Non-fiction]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chandler_Cats&diff=153815
Chandler Cats
2011-12-05T06:29:29Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{quote|I would like to state, I do not, quote unquote, "piddle my cats." I r- I, the only parts I touch on them are their back and their heads. Nothing more. |[[June062010.MOV|Chris about molesting his cats]]}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:Loldesi.jpg|thumb|[[Trolls]] and [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|dudes of all teenages]] love Desi Chandler.]]<br />
<br />
[[Chris]] and his family have several '''cats'''. Chris regularly [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|slips in their shit]]. It is not known whether the Chandlers own the cats, or whether the cats just got lost amid the piles of junk and were unable to find their way to the outside world.<br />
<br />
==Cats==<br />
===Desi===<br />
[[Image:0837-Desi.JPG|thumb|Desi Chandler]]<br />
<br />
The first of Chris's cats, Desi is a [[Wikipedia:Tabby cat|tabby]] named after [[Wikipedia:Desi Arnaz|Desi Arnaz]] (one of two cats named after the stars of ''[[I Love Lucy]]'', one of the Chandler family's favorite TV shows). Among [[CWCki]] editors and [[trolls]], Desi was, at first, often mixed up with Scampers.<br />
<br />
Not much is known about Desi other than he's fucking huge, like the rest of Chris's family, and has only ever appeared in photographs or in the background of videos. Desi also makes an appearance in Chris's [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|future message]]. <br />
<br />
Desi is not house trained and the Chandlers freely let their cat shit all over the kitchen, which Chris on several occasions has slipped on, notably during his [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|AIM chat]] with [[Vivian Gee]]. This lends further credence to the belief (along with [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]'s refusal to wash himself and the stench of Chris's [[Dirty Crapped Briefs]]) that their family is incredibly unhygienic. Suffice to say, Chris vastly preferred his [[Patti|dog]] as a pet. <br />
<br />
Based on an e-mail with [[Jackie]], Desi is presumed dead or missing in action.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Jackie_E-mails#Chris_is_lazy.2C_Hates_simple_chores]]</ref><br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
===Scamper===<br />
[[Image:0723-Scamper.JPG|thumb|Scamper Chandler]]<br />
<br />
'''Scamper''', or '''Scampers''', is the second of Chris's cats. Originally confused with Desi, Scamper is a black and white coated cat.<br />
<br />
Very little info about her exists, except that, like Desi, she's not house-trained and shits everywhere.<br />
<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
===Lucy===<br />
[[Image:0840-Lucy.JPG|thumb|Lucy Chandler]]<br />
<br />
'''Lucy''' is the third cat of the Chandlers. (Note: [[Barbara]] is one of those crazy old women types that keeps lots of cats. On some level she probably sees Chris as an especially large and untidy cat.) Lucy is named after Lucille Ball, the other star of ''[[I Love Lucy]]''.<br />
<br />
Chris once greeted Lucy during a voice chat with [[Sarah May]], before Barbara told him to get off (before she goes off).<ref>[http://www.megavideo.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N]</ref><br />
<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
===Skittles===<br />
[[Image:0724-Skittles.JPG|thumb|Skittles Chandler]]<br />
<br />
'''Skittles''' is the fourth known cat of the Chandlers, approximately 21 years old based on accounts from troll field agents. Skittles looks like a half-dead lynx on crack. <br />
<br />
Nothing is known of Skittles, but given the name it has it can be assumed that it belongs to the Chandlers as only someone batshit crazy or over the age of 50 would name a cat Skittles. Chris, being the fat cunt that he is, probably named it after his favorite candy (at least "Skittles" is more dignifying for the cat than to be named after a Sonichu character). <br />
<br />
Based on the [[Jackie e-mails]], s/he is presumed dead or missing in action.<ref name="ReferenceA"/><br />
<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
===Kitty===<br />
<br />
[[Image:0057-KittyBW.jpg|thumb|Kitty the demon-possessed cat]]<br />
<br />
Cat number 5, the final cat (or at least the last cat of whom there are photos) of the CWC feline family. '''Kitty''' seems to be the cat no one really gives a shit about, evidenced by the fact that it is simply named "Kitty". <br />
<br />
Kitty made an appearance in [[Tour of Christian's House|Chris's tour of his house]], and starred in the [[20 December 2009|''Captain's Log'' video]] of 20 [[December 2009]], where it was revealed that this cat can be added to the long list of [[Trolls|things that hate Chris]]. Chris believes that it is normal for cats to hiss, bite, and scratch people who pick them up, which suggests that his other cats behave this way as well.<br />
<br />
According to Chris, Kitty was a good friend of the [[Patti Chandler|Chandler Dog]].<ref name="ReferenceA"/> <br />
<br />
[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] also included a character named Kitty Rosechu, who was supposed to be Chris's take on the ''[[Asperchu]]'' version of [[Bubbles]].<br />
<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
<center><gallery><br />
Image:0721-Kitty.JPG|Kitty Chandler, so full of hate<br />
Image:0722-LucyDes1.JPG|Lucy and Desi<br />
Image:0844-LucyDes2.JPG|Lucy and Desi asleep in a [[Sonichu (comic)|pile of crap]]<br />
Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|Desi and [[Snorlax]]<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
== Sources ==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Patti]]<br />
<br />
{{People}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Pets]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Mumble_2&diff=153814
Mumble 2
2011-12-05T06:29:04Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
[[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|right|180px|In Mumble 2, a Wild [[Barbara Chandler|Snorlax]] appeared.]]<br />
<br />
'''Mumble 2''' is the second [[Mumble]] chat that took place on 4 [[February 2009]]. More than an hour long.<br />
<br />
This is a more organized Q&A type chat than [[Mumble 1]]. Questions from [[Clyde]] about [[sex]] in the [[comic]] and interesting tidbits about how Chris believes sex is the same as romance. This is pretty hard hitting, with stuff like how Chris is into [[McDonald's|fast food]] yet he's against tobacco. A lot of drama involving Clyde.<br />
<br />
Length: '''1:49:17'''<br />
<br />
==Summary==<br />
<br />
<br />
===Notes===<br />
* Chris doesn't like Clyde because he stole his sweetheart.<br />
* Audio cuts out for a minute before Chris says: "...HYMEN!" (You broke her hymen)<br />
* Trolls claim [[Panda]] is with Clyde, Chris wants to hear her voice, they say she's busy<br />
* 'She and I WERE very close'<br />
* Chris didn't have $400-$800 to go and see Panda; claims he got this number from an airport website recommended by [[Miyamoto]]<br />
* Insists on [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] being in ''[[Animal Crossing]]''<br />
* Doesn't want to talk about his deal with them<br />
* Insists that he doesn't have to turn down his radio since his voice is louder (''it is horribly loud in the mic'')<br />
* Panda gave Clyde all of the sites, etc.<br />
* [[Sarah]] is going to be with Clyde, which Chris wants to deny<br />
* These motherfuckers keep talking over each other<br />
* Calls a troll's critique crap<br />
* [[Bubbles]] must be aroused, she isn't wet all the time<br />
* Bubbles is 90% water so does sperm just swim around forever? NO<br />
* Clyde: This is a children's comic, why so much sex?<br />
: '''Chris:''' It is romance. My best artwork is when they're making out 'romantic moments', drawn in protest to trolls. Shows that [[Rosechu]]s have vaginas, not [[duck]]s.<br />
* Admits to maybe going overboard<br />
* Trolls try to reason with him about the [[ED]] article: There wouldn't be an article if he didn't react like he does.<br />
* Trolls say that TV-Y7 means NO SEX but Chris points to romantic anime that have making out (cartoons are for kids, whatever the content).<br />
* Trolls talk about Japan being less strict about those things<br />
* Everyone gets to vote in [[CWCville]], even if they're [[Niggos|black]].<br />
* Got his idea from [[Mary Poppins]].<br />
* Troll tries to give historical background about cough medicine putting kids to sleep. Chris insists it was the lullaby that put them to sleep.<br />
* Discussion about Chris, 'gay message' sent by a troll<br />
* He calls Clyde a scoundrel<br />
* BELIEVE HIM HE IS STRAIGHT<br />
* Chris tries to speak Mexican at 20:50<br />
* Mexican speaks Mexican to him... he replies in Menglish<br />
* [[4-cent_garbage]] is located in Mexico<br />
* Someone says that he needs to improve his Mexican<br />
* Chris is against smoking, CWCville is smoke and alcohol free<br />
* Rehash of why [[tobacky]] is bad, his position on it, alcohol=bar fights<br />
* Chris's dad smoked and had several bypasses, has a pacemaker and has had heart attacks<br />
* Mention of his hair cuttings for his fans<br />
* Chris was doing math in his head, got in car crash.<br />
* Chris has taken college level math. Took trigonometry.<br />
* Trolls gang up on Clyde for stealing Panda<br />
* Time will tell when Chris will make the money he would have in the Nintendo deal<br />
* Trolls bash Clyde for his pot smoking <br />
* Chris doesn't watch news because it's bad news =(<br />
* Bashing of the Mexican<br />
* Chris can type 30 to 100 WPM, but can't type and talk at the same time<br />
* Chris says [[PSN]] is free though Clyde(?) points to the $1,000 Chris spent on PSN<br />
* Chris has been typing for 15 minutes now and it is VERY loud<br />
* Chris has been busy IRL therefore the comic release doesn't have a date<br />
* Someone points to nudes on [[YouTube]].<br />
* He does not have it on the YouTube, but he isn't going to take it anymore.<br />
* Claims some of the photos are photoshopped.<br />
* Clyde offers help to take ED page down.<br />
* Chris denies taking those pictures, doesn't want to talk about it, making him uncomfortable.<br />
* Some of the pictures are real. When questioned which ones are fake, Chris can't answer.<br />
* Chris hates Harry Potter because it was in competition with [[Pokémon]]!<br />
* Chris is too stressed to read Vivian's [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|book]], but he likes the cover!<br />
* Polly, who has been talking the whole time is confronted by Chris who thinks she is a guy. Polly is upset. Chris apologizes.<br />
* [[Jimmy Hill]] has launched his Sonichu show<br />
* More Mexican talk at 55:10<br />
* Chris giggles and sighs happily when Cassie, another Mexican, compliments him and when she leaves he says 'Chiquita Bonita'<br />
* Rabbichoso talk (Sonichu.info)<br />
* Classic trolls are leaving Chris alone.<br />
* Chris likes Steel Angel Kurumi (''quote from [[Wikipedia:Steel Angel Kurumi|Wikipedia]]: often classified as ecchi due to the focus on fanservice and panty shots'')<br />
* Chris claims to be very strong, could beat Clyde up. Says he would show Clyde a [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force|Hard Day's Night]], and would give Clyde pain.<br />
* ShinyMarshtomp makes an appearance? Likes Rabbichoso<br />
* Chris likes to eat at [[Country Cookin]] (''like Golden Corral'')<br />
* Chris likes to imagine his first time. <br />
* Clyde says the first time is awful, Chris said it was because Clyde prematurely ejaculated<br />
* Watch porn with naked women to cure your gay<br />
* Guys sitting next to you = gay coming on to you<br />
* Falsion has been in the chat room and is afraid he is gay<br />
* A wild Snorlax appears<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
===Waiting for Chris===<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> I can't wait to hear Chris! I'm a huge fan!<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Oh, goddamn these noodles are fantastic. Man, I wish I could eat like this everyday.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Have you eaten the rice balls?<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> No, no, no. These are noodles. These are-<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> ''[Interrupts]'' Fan-fucking-tastic.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Now they're all gone, it's fantastic, you know?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Sweetangie is Chris. Or, we think so.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Yeah, I don't think this is him.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> It's definitely not the real Chris.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> I'm disappointed there's so many impostors out there. Kinda my fault, but, you know, if it weren't- ''[unintelligible]'' -hard to come by.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> His mic was working last time he was here, just fine.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> He usually capitalizes his words, like in every sentence.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Yeah, I don't think this is- I don't think this is him.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Is it set to push to talk or something?<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> Um...<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> You better get us your email address Chris.<br />
<br>''[Trolls talk over each other]''<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Yeah its push to talk. It's called push to talk. It's fantastic ''[unintelligible]''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> No, just have him set it to voice activity. It works so much better that way.<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> Aww, he left.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack''':</font> You guys are fucking idiots.<br />
<br>''[Trolls talk over each other again]''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> You guys scared him off by being guys.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Yeah, you fucking jackasses. Nice going.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Was that even the real...?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Yes, that was the real Chris.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> He's too much of a pussy to talk.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Yeah, cause you scared him, or some- No, or he's too stupid to be.<br />
<br>''[Trolls Laugh]''<br />
<br />
===Chris Arrives===<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[Chris arrives, with radio playing loudly]'' Hello.<br />
<br>''[Trolls all greet him]''<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, now-<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Why haven't you got your microphone working?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I don't know why my microphone [is] messed up.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> I'm sorry, but we had an impostor here before.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, I'm registered. I've got myself registered now. So, uh, hopefully-<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> That's probably why. It had to like, uh- calibrate.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah. Well, I'm calibrated now.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> So, Chris, have you seen Rabbichoso, it's fantastic.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I don't give a crap about your stupid pencil sketch.<br />
<br>''[Audio cuts out]''<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I am not listening. I do not have to listen to ''you''.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Why, I'm not understanding [inaudible]<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well for one thing,and I'll say it on here, you stole my sweetheart!<br />
<br>''[Cutout continues]''<br />
<br />
===PandaHalo, Trip to Redmond and Animal Crossing===<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> You broke her hymen!<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Look, I know it's a terrible mistake, but I plan to make it up to her. I'm getting married and uh- I'm doing the things I should do.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh and another thing, if she is really over there with you now, then put her on the mic. Please.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> She's not- He never said-<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Look, Chris, she's very busy, OK. She's very busy.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well-<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> She's not over here right now. Okay? So lets drop it.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Alright, fine. Well could you tell her to please send me a message lettin' me know, for sure, so I can know- so I can know to-<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> ''[Talks over Chris]'' I'll let her know whatever you want, but it's her life. She doesn't have to send you a message. You failed her. You failed her.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[Sigh]'' She and I were very close.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> If you we're so close, then why didn't you go?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[Sigh]'' Because I had- Aw, hang on a second. How do I- oh, that's right. This thing. Right. Mmm. Hold on a sec. Oh yeah, because I did not have four to eight hundred dollars!<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> It doesn't cost that much to go cross-country man.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes it does. I know, I saw it on an airport website. Where I was be- Where I was- recommended to me by Mr. Miyamoto.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> You know, you can drive there. It's not that hard.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> What happened with that? I thought, um, didn't you have a deal with them or something? I heard a rumor that your characters were going to be in Animal Crossing.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, they are in Animal Crossing. And I did- and I do- I did have a deal with them.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> What happened though?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[Huge sigh]'' I'd rather not say.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Oh.<br />
<br />
===Chris's Radio, Clyde and Criticism===<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Chris, why don't you turn down the TV? It's hard to hear you.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[Annoyed sigh]'' I do not have a TV turned on in here.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> I can hear it.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I have a radio.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> I hear something in the background.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[Burping throughout sentence]'' Well that's the- that would b- the radio. And it is not that loud.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> But it shows up pretty well on your microphone mic. With due respect.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> But still, my voice is louder than the radio.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Ah goo- ahh given.<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> Uh, Chris? Uh, when are you going to do the new Sonichu comic?<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> ''[Says something over Polly]''<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[Huge sigh]'' Uh, I'll answer Polly's question. I'm not sure. It's, uh, it's in progress right now, I'm drawing it up.<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> Oh, okay. I can't wait to read it!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hmm. Well, we'll see.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Chris!<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Listen, Clyde kind of has admin on here, so we can't really do anything about him. So, yeah. I don't know.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> ''[Hard to hear over Chris's radio]'' ...with you guys. I love you guys. Just as much as Chris loves you guys. Right?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[Huge sigh]''<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Look, I was angry. I was angry. But I'm calm now.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Don't try to hurt any other person from now on.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> I'm doing the best I can. I'm doing the best I can.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, I have much- I do not have much to say in response to that right now. Because I'm ticked off.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Don't let him get to you.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> You're no better than he is, if you give in.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> ''[unintelligible]''<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[Huge sigh]''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Hey, Chris, I just wanted to let you know I'm a huge fan of the comics, and I'm glad you keep doing what you're doing. You're doing a great job, and just keep it up, alright man?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, yeah, I appreciate the, uh, what's the word I'm looking for? The, the, uh- well, the encouraging words. Encouragement. I appreciate the encouragement. Well, there are things, uh- I- er- current events I do not appreciate. I appreciate the positive encouragement.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Yeah, I can't really do anything. He took over the IRC channel. I used to be the owner. I mean Clyde. He's like taking over everything.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Yeah, it was because Panda gave it to me, you know. But anyway, I mean, you can't just listen to encouragement, you've got to listen to criticism, man. Criticisms are what make you better, you learn from your mistakes. You learn from mistakes.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[Sigh]''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Be right back guys, my wife is calling.<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> Oh, okay.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> I don't- I don't- Tons of people don't like the Rabbichoso art style, but you know, I gotta improve on that. That's something I plan to improve on. There's a lot of criticism in the death of Sonichu, right? <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> What? What did you just say?<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> There's a lot of criticism of Sonichu. Right?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh. For a moment there I thought you said something different.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> What, what did you think I said? I'm just saying, there are people who like it and people who don't like it. You gotta start taking in those suggestions. You know?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hmm. So many things that will be improved upon. But, I just have to hear from Sarah herself that she really is going to be with you, Clyde. I have to hear it from herself. It's one thing to hear it from you and then it's- then on that note, it's just I find it very hard to believe. So I have to hear it from her.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Yeah, I kinda think that Rabbichoso sucks. I mean, I think it could be funny, but it honestly looks like it's drawn by a kindergartner.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> I mean, Sonichu has evolved over the years. You can see that the art's getting better. Rabbichoso doesn't even look like something a beginner would do, honestly. I mean, ''[Interrupted]''<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> A whole bunch of crap!<br />
<br>''[Everyone starts talking at once]''<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> Also, Sonichu is in color.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> I know, I accept his criticism. But you just called it crap! Now that's just rude.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, I have emotions going behind me- uh, behind that opinion.<br />
<br />
===Cassie===<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> Chris, did you get my message.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh...<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Aren't you going to be the gentleman, then? Aren't you gonna be the gentleman?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> I just want to ask you, Chris. I'm Cassie's friend. She- she's worried sick about you. Why haven't you emailed her?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I did email her! As a- I- I haven't gotten any re-plies from her. I have emailed her and I have instant messaged her on A.I.M. and Skype. I haven't heard back from her. I don't know what's going on there.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> ...you emailed her.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> What?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> When was the last time you emailed her?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh, hang on, I'll check.<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> Um, Chris? I have a question. My fa- One of my favorite new characters is, um, Simonla, and like, I also like Zapina as well. Um, are they gonna have bigger parts in the series later on?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm sorry, could you repeat that question?<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> Um, I was wondering if Simonla and Zapina will either have bigger parts in the series later on. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [[Sonichu_10#The_Final_Countdown|Possibly]]. Possibly, but, uh, I can't say for sure. Oh, and, uh, to answer your question, uh- in answer to, uh, I believe, uh, Screwhead, who asked? It was about four days ago. About four days ago.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> Yeah. Four days ago? Okay, I'll tell her to check it out.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> The last email I sent was about four days ago.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> She'll contact you in a while, though.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> I'll tell her to check it out and- and thanks Chris.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Alright. Mm.<br />
<br />
===Bubbles's Pussy and Sex in the Comics===<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Hey, Chris? I have a question.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Yeah, my favorite character is Bubbles, I kinda liked the, uh, the thing she had going with Blake, where she was kind of keeping the relationship secret. I thought that was kinda clever. I was wondering, uh, she's a water-type, so does that mean that her vagina is always wet, or does she have to be aroused like a normal woman?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, aroused. That's applied for all the, uh, Rosechus there. And also, like, you know, she's not just a water-type, she's also- she's a water- and electric-type, like uh- oh, shoot- What's the name of that one? Originated from Gold-Silver-Crystal series, uh, evolves from Chinchou? Lanturn. And she has, uh, she has Volt Absorb ability.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Oh, I see.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Uh, Chris, another question following Bubbles. Uh, her body is 90% water, and now this thing about the whole sexual intercourse- about it. Now, don't take this rude, and you don't need to answer me... <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, that's fine.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> ...I totally respect your creative work. My wife actually got me into this, uh, show actually. So, what happens is- like, as you know, like, semens are like little fishes in themselves. Would that mean, I mean, would they actually have a route to fly into the egg, in theory, or do they just swim around her whole body, just forever just swimming around.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hmm. The, uh, the internal or- the internal organs uh, for the Rosechus are pretty much the same thing, so I'd say pre- about, uh, as good chance as most any other mammal.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Oh, so you mean she's able to control her density a little bit more. She- I understand now. She's able to control more her density from the 90% water. Okay. That pretty much answers it just perfectly. That's been bothering me at work. ''[Laughs]''<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Okay.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> I got another question, Chris, about this whole sexual thing. I mean, this is a children's comic, right? Why is there so much sex in it?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hmm. It's called romance, and my- and my- if you'll notice throughout the comics my best pieces of artwork among which were those where dey were kissing and making out. Romantic moments.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> There's a hidden page-<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[Interrupting Clyde]'' And because- and because- and because of the tension from, uh, the trolls and Encyclopedia Dramatica, I just felt like doing that in protest against them.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Yeah, but childre-<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> ''[Interrupting Clyde]'' Yes but how is that really a protest? That, you know, you know, are, are you like referencing to the 60's when women burned their bras? That was in protes- That was feminism. Saying that they weren't slaves to men. Do you even understand the whole thing?<br />
<br>''[Multiple voices are heard at once]''<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Now, to tell you the truth, I never really thought about, I never really thought about that when I-<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> ''[Interrupting Chris]'' Then how is, stripping was, how was that protest-<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[Interrupting Jack]'' It shows that they have vaginas and NOT dicks. <br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Well you know the dick thing was the fact that they were just, you know, mocking you. I think you went overboard with that. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well maybe I did. Maybe I did. <br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Yeah, you did, because that seems kind of excessive, kind of-<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> ''[Interrupts]'' I don't think they would have even bothered to write about an article about you if you didn't just keep reacting like that.<br />
<br />
===Chris justifies sex in a kids' comic===<br />
<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> I have another question.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> The point some of us are trying to make is, if it's TV-Y7 that means there should really be no sex in it at all.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> ''[unintelligible over other people]''<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> That's pretty much incorrect, I mean, uh, there's so many romantic anime that's TV-Y7, and they shoul- they have making out.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> You know, a lot of things in Japan, Japan has stricter standards-not stricter, I mean looser guidelines than America. It's much different.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I hear ya.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Chris, I was just wondering what Bubbles, um, she has a, that water whirlwind attack, I was just curious if you had any plans to make- <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[Butting in]'' By the way, that was a Whirl- Whirlpool.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font>Yeah, Whirlpool, sorry, sorry, Whirlpool, but do you have any plans to mix an, uh, Electric-type attack with that, since water conducts electricity, right? It could be a very powerful-<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[interrupts]'' Yeah, she did, she did an electric attack amongst the- the walls of that Whirlpool and she let out. In case you didn't know, there's a- little bits of lightning bolts among which-<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Oh, oh, I'm sor- I didn't notice that, I'm sorry, I'll go take another look. Thank you.<br />
<br><font color="#80F080">'''Max?:'''</font> Hey Chris-<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah.<br />
<br><font color="#80F080">'''Max?:'''</font> You make some pretty sweet Little Big Planet levels.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Thank you.<br />
<br />
===Chris on Benadryl babysitting===<br />
<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Oh, there's a message from Cogs on the side, it's about, uh, do women not have the right to vote already in CWCville.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, evry- Everybody, no matter what age, no matter what gender or race, everybody has the right to vote in CWCville. Even if they're black.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Then what's up with the "Votes for Women" thing, I was-<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Not just vote women, but- ''[interrupted]'' any other ethnicities, and gays?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> I don't understand-<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I did that- heard it in Mary Poppins.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> What? Mary Poppins?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Aw, man, Mary Poppins?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, Mary Poppins.<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> I remember that movie.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Aw, yeah, that movie.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> It's a classic. It's my favorite movie of all time.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Yeah, that movie was, like, based in the 1900s.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, but still I- still I agreed with that message there-<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Taken out of context, that makes it seem like CWCville's set in the 1960s.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> What message? That children should be given cough medicine so they'll go to sleep?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''What?''<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Yeah, that's what women used to do back in- That's what mothers, friggin' nurses and stuff used to do to kids in the 1900s, is give children, like, you know, cough medicine.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> ''[laughs]''<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Cause- cause the medicine- uh, correction, the medicine did not put them to sleep, there was a lullaby, not the cough medicine. They only had to take the cough medicine-<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> No cough medicine-<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ...because it rained, before dere, and it was not, and it was to, uh-<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Rain means cough medicine doesn't have anything to do with each other. That's not how friggin' germs are spread, or colds are gotten. Colds are gotten through germs, not the rain.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> How is cough medicine any different from today's parents that just let their kids watch TV until they fall asleep? I mean, it's just as bad.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Well- Cough medicine has a lot to do with the psychological effects of it. Obviously if you get- if you keep giving fre-<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Thanks, Samantha, that was delicious.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> What?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> It's my, uh, Samantha-<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> Yeah, that's we're all saying, cause I've heard that there's a lot of different chemicals in cough medicine. You could pick up a ''[unintelligible]''<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> I don't even take cough medicine, because I'm not a pussy.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Uh, so.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Chris!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Anyway, I never put any references, I never did any references or plan any references to cough medicine or anything of that sort.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> Well, Chris, Cassie says the last e-mail she got from you was on the 17th. How 'bout your being gay? Is that true?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[sigh]'' That wa- That was somebody had- That was Clyde hacking through my e-mail and spammed that to my contacts.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Yeah, I definitely did not do that-<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> You're a scoundrel-<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> -a slanderous lie.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> I did not do that.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Whoa-whoa-whoa. Wow. Well, thanks for that. She was worried that you were- that you don't like her.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:''' </font> You're a scoundrel, Clyde.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> I didn't do that. That was someone else.<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> I was wondering, because I've heard other news too, I was really hoping that you weren't gay.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Believe me, I'm straight.<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> Oh, okay. I'll take your word for it.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Thank you. And, uh-<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Cogs- Cogs got a way- she showed us that, okay? I mean, you only ''[unintelligible]''<br />
<br />
===Chris's fail-riffic Spanish===<br />
<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> So, Chris.<br />
<br>''[Trolls talk over each other]''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Cassie didn't get your last e-mail.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm sorry, what?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Cassie didn't get your last e-mail.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Yeah, Screwhead's from Mexico. I heard you like Spanish, so.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Hola, Chris.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> You know Spanish, right?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Sí. Conoso Mexico. Tomé dos años ''[unclear]'' mi escuela secundaria. (Yes, I know Mexico. I took two years [in, possibly] my secondary school.)<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Has venido en Mexico? (Have you come to Mexico?)<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh, lo siento? (Uh, I'm sorry?)<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Has estado en Mexico? (Have you been to Mexico?)<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Estoy Mexico? No. (I am Mexico? No.)<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> ''[slowly]'' Has estado, um, in Mexico. Has venir? (Have you been to Mexico? Have gone?)<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh. Uh, no, I hav- no, no tengo pansars. ''[sic]'' (no, I don't have pansars (?))<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> What?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh, I think, uh, I think I meant to say- I'm pretty sure-<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Did you just say you don't wear pants?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh, no, I was trying to say, ah, I don't have plans to go in Mexico at the moment.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Oh, okay.<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> Oh, I see.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> That's what I understood what he was saying there.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Chris, did you know that, that 4-cent garbage website is located in Mexico?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Huh.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:''' </font> That's why-<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Yeah, that's why they can't get it shut down.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Mm.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> ''[unintelligible]'' borders, plus it's cheaper to run sites over there; they have, like, several servers.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hm.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Chris. Cassie wanted to talk to you, but she couldn't make it here, well, and, she wants to be your Spanish teacher, because she says that you've got room to improve your Spanish.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh. Oh, that Cassie. Yeah, I'm sorry, I thought you were- I got mixed up. Um... Yeah, um, I'm sorry, I, uh, I haven't talked to that- I haven't talked to Cassie in a while, but I've been mostly talking to, uh, her gal- her, uh, gal-pal and I'm sure- I'm sure she'd tell you a lot about her...<br />
<br />
===In which the trolls discuss bar fights===<br />
<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Hey Chris, how- how does Sonichu keep Rosechu from spending more than a hundred dollars at the mall? I've always wondered how he could manage to do that. I've always had problems with that myself.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> That wa- That time at the mall, it was, uh, Kel loaned the credit card. And it's like, yeah- she gave- she gave Sonichu the responsibility of that credit card. She did.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> ''[unintelligible]''<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Now, I've always given my advice on cannabis, you should do the ''[unintelligible]'', Cogs Chris, but I think she wants your response.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Chris, one of my friends sent me this picture, and I think you might find it kinda disturbing just because they say it's proof that you're gay.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Aw yeah, I saw that, that's just a crappy Photoshop.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> No, that one doesn't- this one doesn't look Photoshopped at all.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh, I'm not gonna look at it.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Oh, you're not? Oh.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Chris, uh, you say you're against smoking?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah. As a matter of fact, CWCville is a smoke-free, non-alcoholic city.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> ''[partially drowned out]'' That's what we call a totalitarian state...<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Oh, and, uh, in the pilot episode with Seth MacFarlane, of, you know, Family Guy? He's always smoking. What do you think about that?<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Go smoke.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Yeah.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, I just- I just take that with a grain of salt, and, uh, you know, that's what-<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> I mean, if he can smoke, why can't anyone else? I mean, it's-<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Because it causes cancer!<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> So does a lot of things.<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> It could be a prop pipe.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> In any case, I'm not- in any, in any case I've never done it and I never will.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Yeah, but eating too much fast food can give you a heart attack. I mean... so many things are deadly for you.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> What about fast food, Chris?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> My father used to smoke and he went through a whole bunch of heart attacks. He suffered three- <br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> ''[Interrupts]'' Well, I think that might have to do more with his weight.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> He suffered through three or four triple bypasses.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> Chris, I think that's... that's more like a weight issue.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> He has a pacemaker!<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Chris, eh...<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Hey ya guys, leave him alone. Ya know, my granddad, he smoked most of his life. He quit for 25 years and still died of lung cancer. I mean that's just the way it is. And your body never gets rid of it.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Well yeah.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Chris, what about ''[pause]'' Chris, what about fast food? That's- that's bad for you.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> Hey Chris. Chris, could you do me a favor and send an email to Cassie? She's very worried about you.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh. Yeah sure, I'll send her an email later.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> Okay, thanks.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Well, I've got uh, a certain someone you know-<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No no.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> -she has to, uh, she wants to ask you w- <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> Also, she said something about some hair.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh yeah. Yeah, that's uh... that's another issue right there. Um, hmmm. I'll talk to her about that.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Chris, does, uh, drinking cause cancer?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, but it causes liver dysfunction and likely bar fights and automobile accidents.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Wait, bar fights, but— <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Bar fights!<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> -but I don't think that bar fights are that big of a problem.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> I think bar fights are awesome.<br />
<br>''[People agree bar fights are awesome]''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> But bar fights are bad. I got into a bar fight once and one of my hands got cut and two fingers from my left hand. Bar fights suck.<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> ''[Unintelligible]''<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Well, I think that might be more because you're Mexican. Are you sure you didn't lose them picking bo- picking grapes and- or something?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> No, Mexican people are more more- more much macho man; we get into bigger fights. We're more awesome.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> No- I think it might be because you got your hands stuck in some machinery when you were out picking in the vineyards.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> I don't know about you guys, but I like- I like having bar fights.<br />
<br>''[Trolls talk over each other]''<br />
<br />
===Chris Crashes Due To Math===<br />
<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> You don't have to be drunk to be in a bar fight or in an automobile accident, right?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, but they increase the likeliness of it.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> You've been in an autobile— automobile accident, I mean, were you drunk?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, I was distracted.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Uh, by what? I mean, it's kinda hard to be dist— you gotta be focused on driving man-<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I was doing math in my head.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Wait, math in your— <br />
<br>[Trolls talk over each other]<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> My mind got distracted by being its own calculator.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Falsion''':</font> Are you good at math?<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> ''[unclear]'' Is that for school?<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack''':</font> Are you some kind of savant?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> That's impossible.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> What?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Falsion:'''</font> Guys, you're getting ''[unclear]''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Chris, are you like a mathematic genius or something?<br />
<br>[pause]<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> You know some artist people have like superpowers in their head. They can do like geniuses and add really well. ''[interrupted briefly by Jack saying something else about savant]'' Chris you are already an artist. Do you have any like, magical powers?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> Yeah, I heard autistic people are really good at math. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Mm. Well not all the stereo- some of that sounds like stereotypes. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> ''[talking over Chris]'' ...it has to do with mental ability; I mean, what's the...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> I mean I don't know- I mean I'm not saying that I'm a total genius. I mean I know- I know enough to get by.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> What's the highest level of math you've taken Chris?<br />
<br>[pause]<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> College level.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> No I mean like algebra, or calculus or...?<br />
<br>[pause]<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah. I believe I just did trigonometry. <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Very impressive.<br />
<br>[long pause]<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> So I was wondering. When did you get the CAD degree? I figured it's like a fine arts degree or something? I mean wha-<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[interrupts]'' I designed a whole- I designed buildings and machinery and such along there. I designed the whole CWCVille shopping center.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Why don't you have a job then?<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Your fans would love to see that Chris.<br />
<br><font color="#80F080">'''Max?:'''</font> So Chris-<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> ''[interrupts]'' -I mean use that to design like, actual buildings? <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I think I just told you I designed the CWCVille sho-<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> ''[interrupts]'' I don't mean in your comic. I'm just saying-<br />
<br>''[Audio cuts]''<br />
<br />
===Clyde Isn't Popular And Chris Should Program===<br />
<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well it's a good st-<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Chris... <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah?<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> So I heard you got some nudes up there on YouTube.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh, I'll be putting an update on da YouTube soon, but not right now. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> I'm just thinking maybe you could like, you know, get a degree in game design and make the Sonichu game? <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Yeah man, it's not that hard to learn programming. C++ man.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">''Falsion:'''</font> Clyde, he hates you, why are you talking?<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> I'm just giving him some advice, I mean C++ is-<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> ''[interrupts]'' Why are you here? We don't like you. You totally ruined Chris's life.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> I didn't ruin his life. He ruined his own life.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Yes you did. You've ruined his life. You raped his girlfriend. <br />
<br>''[Everyone speaks at once over each other]''<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> If he was the man he said he was, he'd have gone to Nintendo, made all that money. How- how are you going to make money now Chris?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Time will tell.<br />
<br>''[Everyone speaks again]''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Yeah, time will tell Clyde.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font>''[unclear]'' -need a plan, you know? <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> I'm just thinking uh, if- uh- would you be interested in getting a degree in game design. Making the game or something? Like if you had to? <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hm. Maybe but uh- I still have things to sort out in my real life.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Yeah it's kinda unfortunate what happened with the Nintendo thing. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah- hang on a second, I'll be right back. Mm- ''[clattering]''<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> So be honest guys am I really that much of a bother. I mean...<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Yeah you kind of are.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> You're like a total dickfart.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> ''[muffled]''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> You realize weed causes cancer? <br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Yeah.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> I didn't know that. <br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> And it causes the munchies. You're gonna get fat, Clyde.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> It's okay, man, because I work out.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Do you play Guitar Hero standing up?<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> I play Guitar Hero while on the treadmill. <br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> Will the Sonichu game be a- ''[muffled]'' -or a Wii one?<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> It be a Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Wii would like to play. <br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> Oh. I only got a DS. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> Chris, I heard you are very good at HTML. Why don't you make a HTML Sonichu game? That would be awesome.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> I don't think you can make a game in HTML.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> A- anyway I came back...<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Chris? How many courses did you have to take to get that degree in CAD? <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> -pretty sure you can make a game in HTML-<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[speaking over]'' I'm took abo- took about two- took about two years to four years. <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> I mean, if you can write HTML you can write C++, make your own games. Pretty simple man. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hm. Well it's something I'll consider. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Clyde why are you talking to him? He hates you.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> I'm trying to give him some suggestions. I'm not insulting him, OK? <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> HTML seems kinda outdated, so to speak. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font>I learn- I took two HTML classes so at least I know how to do- at least I know the ins and outs when it comes to like, workin' on it in the raw data- in the notepad.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> So you don't use Dreamweaver?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[interrupts]'' I also use Net- also use Netscape composer. <br />
<br>''[Someone starts singing 'Dreamweaver']''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> I heard they went bankrupt or something.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I don't- I don- I don't listen to news because I don't care about bad news. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> But that's not bad news that's just safety...<br />
<br>''[Talking over each other]''<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Why you gotta bring this bad vibe in here? <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> OK OK I'll chill, I'm sorry it's just my wife- ''[can't hear over Chris typing extremely loud]'' <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> Chris you don't hear about these ones in a while. Like yesterday some guy in my town got run over by a train and he- he died. And that's a really bad thing, you know but you have to hear about it. <br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack''':</font> Yeah but that's because you're Mexican. You Mexicans always play around the train tracks, what's with you? <br />
<br>[pause]<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> No come on, don't be racist.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> It's because Mexicans are stupid. I'm surprised I can use a computer. <br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> ''[muffled]'' CrassCrab why do you have to be so mean?<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> 'Cause my mother was raped by a Mexican. And I'm part Me- ''[muffled]'' <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> I'm sorry man.<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> That isn't fair to take it out on every other Mexican out there.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> His rule applied to millions. Just ignore him.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> No I'm not my mother was raped by Mexicans.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> CrassCrab I'm tired of listening to you, get out of here. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> Not all Mexicans are like that we- we- I am as Mexican guy. Not all Mexican guys are- ''[drowned out by typing]''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Don't get me started on them. But that will be another day. Cause I'm sick of hearing bad news.<br />
<br />
===Chris Types Fast (And Hates Hex-Box)===<br />
<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> So Chris what are you uh- typing there?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Uh, I'm typing a email. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> How many words can you type? How fast can you type? Sounding fast there. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Uhhh say about uh- sorta between thirty and a hundred. <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> That's quite a good range man. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> You're like "The Flash", minus the red jump-suit.<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> Oh Chris um- I was wondering- ''[unclear]'' -would it be uh a Wii game or a DS game or both. I only own DS and I don't have any money for a Wii.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[overlapping]'' Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wii, DS and Pla- hopefully uh- possibly uh, PlayStation 2 or 3. Never on [[Hex_Box|Hex-Box]]. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> When you gonna do this shit?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> Why don't you like the Hex-Box? I mean I have an Xbox, I would love to play online with you. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> I'd like to say this. Before Chris says anything about that I just wanna say that today my wife came home from the mall shopping for her usual clothes, that Gucci purse I had to buy for her. You know what she came home with? I wanted a PS3 but you know what she gave me was a frickin' Xbox 360. The Elite one? ''[someone speaks over]'' I know, I kept telling her like "Honey this isn't what I wanted. I wanted the PlayStation 3 so I can play LittleBigPlanet, Metal Gear Solid and Sonic Unleashed" <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> You can put Sonic Unleashed on the Hex Box as well as Wii.<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> ''[Too whiny to make out]''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> So Nintendo just- rejected your offer? Cause I- I heard a rumor that there was going to be a Sonichu game or something. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> Chris uh. Cassie wants you to send her your Wii number so she can talk to you on the Wii. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Alright uhhhhh. I'll get- have to get my Wii number now.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> Send it to her in an email please.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Yeah they completely hate Sony. And they hate Microsoft as well. I mean this guy, Reggie? He always talks about kicking their ass and stuff. He's kinda crazy. <br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> I know. Reggie's very mean he never brought out ''[unclear]'' to America. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Yeah I wanted to play that game.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> ''[talked over]'' -I'm tellin' you guys. Reggie's just a great ''[unclear]''<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly''':</font> Like what?<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> I can- I can't say anything OK but... you'll see. <br />
<br><font color="#80F080">'''Max?:'''</font> So Chris. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Yeah so I don't think like if you got the deal with Nintendo I don't think they'd put it on like mu- like anything else but the Wii or DS. Yeah, cause that Reggie guy he frickin' hates Sony. And Microsoft. <br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font>Wasn't he also the head of VH1?<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> Or Pizza Hut.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Chris. What are your favorite places to eat at? <br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> I remember um he ''[unclear]'' -but before that he was with Sega when Dreamcast was out. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yup. Let me type this email please. I mean y'all keep talking I'll just listen. <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> There's no reason to hate the Xbox. Let's be honest.<br />
<br>[pause]<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> Or um- Chris um- do you wanna release your game on Nintendo and on Sony. If you do talk to somebody like EA or something, you can like do um- multi-console thing like a (?) party thing. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[busy typing]'' Hmm. Well it's all to think about. <br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> I mean Sega does third party now so um- <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah well I'm gonna keep typing this email here. Y'all keep talking. <br />
<br>''[Sound of Chris typing]''<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> It's true, it's true. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> Chris. Chris I wanted to tell you that Cassie's going to be here any- any second so you can talk to her. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh. Hm. ''[continues typing]''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> Don't you care about her? <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[annoyed]'' I'm typin' da email to her right now! <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> Oh OK. <br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> Yeah um 360 is pretty bad um- it red-rings all the time. <br />
<br><font color="#80F080">'''Max?:'''</font> I've had mine over two years. The same one. And it has not red-ringed yet. <br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Dude you have to pay $50 just so you can play online. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[echoing]'' Yeah. Yeah. <br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Yeah it's bullshit.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah it's totally free on PlayStation. And Wii.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Chris. Chris. No, no, no, no, I gotta talk about this. [long pause] Chris...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[interrupting]'' I get less connection problems myself. <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> I can't let you get away with this Chris. You spent over $1000 on the PlayStation Network. OK? And you say you can't afford $50 for the Xbox? Terrible reason. That's a terrible reason. <br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> Also, um, Cogs I had a friend of mine whose red-ringed a lot of times. She did not like it at all. She got herself a PS3 instead. <br />
<br>''[Chris is STILL typing]''<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> I heard that like- the PS triple eats up a lot of energy and like- has like- burned houses down. Cause it messes up the- no but the PS3 really- <br />
<br>''[More of Chris typing then audio cuts out]''<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> So when's the next comic coming out Chris? <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> I can't say. I don't have a date for it right now. I've been busy with the- with real life and such. You know getting the s- getting the website back up and all that. <br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly''':</font> Oh but I've been waiting so long. <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Look, I gotta tell you something Chris. ''[unclear]'' -to the trolls but I haven't done anythin' myself. It's run off into splinter groups doin' stuff to you. Ever since the Panda thing, I haven't done anything to you man. Everybody's been running round doing things. I have no control anymore. So I'm back here. This is why I'm back here. Do you understand? <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Yeah. I hear you.<br />
<br />
===Nudes On YouTube===<br />
<br />
<br><font color="#80F080">'''Max?:'''</font> Chris.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Yeah?<br />
<br><font color="#80F080">'''Max?:'''</font> So I hear you got some uh- nudes up there on YouTube.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> What? <br />
<br><font color="#80F080">'''Max?:'''</font> Hear you got some nudes on YouTube.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[unclear]''<br />
<br><font color="#80F080">'''Max?:'''</font> NUDES!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> That's what I thought- I have nothing na- I have nothing like that on the nu- on the YouTube. I've nothing like that.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Oh someone posted the pics form the ED page. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> They're just tryin' ta get on- they're just tryin' ta get on my nerves again. But I'm not gonna let 'em.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> Did you take those pictures or what? Where'd they come from?<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly''':</font> Uh, are they Photoshopped?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Yeah most of- Yes. Most of them are Photoshopped.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Chris I can help you with ED. Chris I can help you with ED.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Mm. Yeah.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> You can see the neck and the body doesn't quite match up.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> Okay, Chris. Cassie's just arrived. She's a little nervous about talking to you, but she's gonna talk to you soon. Is that OK?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Yeah that's fine.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> I just got one quick comment. The ED people were in contact with me, but I've lost contact with them. But I know you can delete that page permanently. I'm tryin' to help you man. You can get that page down forever. Even the entire site. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> What, after you raped uhm- Sarah? <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Look, I'm trying to make amends. So let me do my business. All right?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> It's too late to make amends. Look what you did. <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> ''[unclear]''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Chris.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Um. Cogsdev said she had a look at the data, they have it up in Image editing software.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Other Troll:'''</font> Oh yeah. Well...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Well I don't know what to tell you there. <br />
<br>''[Several trolls speak at once]''<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Sorry, what?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> Doesn't that mean they're real? <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> No, I don't think so. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> You don't think so?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Other Troll''':</font> Well, did you take them?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> Then where did those pictures come from? <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Other Troll''':</font> Yeah, who took those?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> I don't know. And I'd rather not talk about that anymore. It's making me feel uncomfortable.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Are you lying to your fans Chris?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> We don't feel confort- we don't feel comfortable. We're big fans of your work and we don't like being lied to. <br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> I'd like to make a point. It might just be a doppelganger [sic].<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Chris, you know the thing I hate most is lies. I like to spread the truth about you Chris.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> You say you're honest, but you're lying to us.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[clearly annoyed]'' Fine, fine. Some those pictures are real. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> Some of them?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Some of them but not all of them. <br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack''':</font> Like, which ones aren't real?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh, I'd rather not go into detail because I'd rather not look at 'em. Cause uh- ''[interrupted]''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> ''[unclear]'' -are you ashamed of it?<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack''':</font> Do you not like to look in the mirror?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> You owe it- you owe it to your fans.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Yeah, but- yeah, but- yeah, but upon looking at those it's like ref- it's like reflecting a pe- uh p- a past moment in my life where I- I was played for the fool. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> Oh yeah, by the man in the pickle suit?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Yeah. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> Oh that guy- I hate that guy.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Yeah I saw- he was trolling some other people you know? So you're not alone, Chris. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> Yeah he took pictures of me like that too...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Hmm.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> That guy's an asshole, I hate him.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Uhhhh yep. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> He took pictures of my wife too. Sick bastard. <br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> ''[I think she says he is a peanut]''<br />
<br>[pause]<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Uh, I'm sorry, what?<br />
<br>[another pause]<br />
<br />
===Chris Hates Harry===<br />
<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I just uh- never was fond of it. Ever since it came out, I was never fond of it. ''[unclear as troll speaks over]'' -just like I hate Harry Potter because he's s- he's goin- he's uh- in compe- was in competition against the world of Pokemon. <br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack''':</font> Well that- that doesn't make sense. But they're two different medias. Pokemon-<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[interrupts]'' Yeah but- yeah but still he-<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack''':</font> -Harry Potter is a book.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Yeah but he poses as competition against them. <br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack''':</font> That's not really competition. I mean- <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> ''[talks over Jack]'' Oh that reminds me about books- Vivi- Vivian wrote a book and sent it to you. You never read it.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes. I am afraid I- yeah, yeah- I'm uh- I've been uh- so I've been under uh- too much stress between internet and all that. I'll ge- I'll read it, I'll read it. <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> She's been waiting for your response for quite a long time.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Uh, I like the cover.<br />
<br>(pause)<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Nice cover.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> Yeah he is right about that. That is a nice cover. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Other Troll:'''</font> Yeah the book is pretty good- I read it.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Hm. Well I- I will definitely make it a point to uh- read it. Very soon. <br />
<br>''[Trolls talk over each other]''<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> ''[Audible over the others]'' Did you ever read Twilight?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I've heard th- I've heard Twilight and I've seen the trailer but I haven't seen the movie, I'll wait for it to come out DVD or Blu-ray.<br />
<br>[pause]<br />
<br />
===Random Access Humor Python Style===<br />
<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly''':</font> Oh OK, I heard a lot of girls like Twilight. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hm. I see. Hey Polly does your voice sound like that, 'cause it sounds like [[BlueSpike|a guy talking falsetto]]. I mean no personal offense. <br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly''':</font> That's not very nice...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> I'm sorry. Believe me I didn't mean any pe- anything personal it's just like, you know- hm- kind- just kinda takes me by surprise a bit, that's all.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> I knew a girl like that in high school.<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> ''[Sounding upset]'' I can't help it if I'm born like this.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Yeah I'm- I'm- I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> Yeah she's a girl. I saw her pics. She's a girl.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Well I'll s- I'll take his word for it. I'm sorry I cu- I accused you there.<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly''':</font> Um. OK. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> You know, aut- I mean- let's- it's just uh- you know it's uh- you know it's uh a bit- just a spot of fun. [[Random-access_humor|Stupid humor]]. Monty Python's Flying Circus. <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> We know you love that. There's just so many references to it in the comic. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah I d- after they put all of the entire series on PlayStation Network I downloaded the Hamlet episode- that was the one that had uh- Jimmy Hill parodying himself. It also had this funny bit where it was like, you know- ''[in a stupid voice]'' "...and now it's time for The Robinsons, an everyday story about blah-de-blah-de-blah-de-blah. Dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-duhhh-dum-de-dum"- and so on...<br />
<br>''[A troll begins to speak but is interrupted by a very high-pitched Chris]''<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> "Morning Mrs. Robinson- Morning Mrs. Robinson. Comin' out shoppin'? Oh- you've been shoppin', what did you buy? What's this?-" 'What did you buy this for?'[Trolls laugh over him]'' -It was a bargain!"<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> I've heard you do that before. I don't know where. Anyway uh- uhm- Whatever happened to Jimmy Hill? <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hm. I haven't heard from him in a long time so just assuming uh- he gave up or uh-<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> ''[interrupts]'' I think he got a- I think he got a, uh- children's TV program in England.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hm. Well he ain't botherin' me, so I'm not worried about him anymore.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Ye- but he's stealing Sonichu. Bastardizing it.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah he did but uh- he s- but haven't seen any updates on his-<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> ''[Talks over Chris]'' -profile, he's still doing it.<br />
<br>''[Several trolls talk over each other about him having a TV show]''<br />
<br />
===Chris Fails At Spanish Pt. 2===<br />
<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[Sigh]'' <br />
<br>''[Troll says something more about the TV show, but it's muffled]''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> Hey, Chris?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> Chris. Cassie wants to say hi. Just forgive her English because she can't speak very well, okay? <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> All right. Just sent her the email by the way, just now. <br />
<br><font color="#8D38C9">'''Cassie:'''</font> Hey, Chris. It's me, Cassie. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hi, Cassie. How are you?<br />
<br><font color="#8D38C9">'''Cassie:'''</font> Fine, and you?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm feelin' OK. <br />
<br><font color="#8D38C9">'''Cassie:'''</font> Why haven't you emailed me? I was really about-was really worried about you. What's happened? <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm sorry. I be- I've bee- I've been busy with the Internet and the stress and all that. I sent ya an email just now go- it's got my Wii number in it so you can add me to your contacts. I've been talking to uh- I've been talking to Sarah lot- quite a bit lately. She's been helping me with uh- updating the Sonichu site, since I've uh- since I'm working on uh- it's re-uploading and such. <br />
<br><font color="#8D38C9">'''Cassie:'''</font> Kay, I believe you. I going to check ''[pronounced like 'sheg']'' it, okay? <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> You're going to where?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> ''[very quietly]'' Check it.<br />
<br><font color="#8D38C9">'''Cassie''':</font> To check it.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> To "shag-it"? Is that the-<br />
<br><font color="#8D38C9">'''Cassie''':</font> Check the email. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[still doesn't understand]'' Oh.<br />
<br><font color="#8D38C9">'''Cassie:'''</font> I going to check the email.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh. ''[unintelligible]''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Check the email.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh, check email. ''[Laughs]'' Yeah I'm sorry I tr- I tried to uh- understand but it just kind of messed up a little bit. <br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Why don- why don't you two speak in Spanish?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uhhh. I'm not exactly fluent. <br />
<br><font color="#8D38C9">'''Cassie:'''</font> ¿Sabes hablar español, Chris? (Do you know how to speak Spanish?)<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Sí, hablo español. (Yes, I speak Spanish)<br />
<br><font color="#8D38C9">'''Cassie:'''</font> Oh. ''[pause, one of the trolls says something to her]'' Oh, eso es muy sexy. (That is very sexy.)<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Ohhhh. Te gusta. Te gusta muchísimo, (You like it. You like it a lot)<br />
<br><font color="#8D38C9">'''Cassie''':</font> La verdad, si. (To tell you the truth, yes)<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Mmm. Me amos mis amigas muchísimas. Sons muy bueñas! (I love my friends (feminine) a lot. They are very good.) [Correction: Amo a mis amigas muchísimo. Son muy buenas.] <br />
<br><font color="#8D38C9">'''Cassie''':</font> Oh, eso es tan cool en español! Muy bueno! (That's so cool in Spanish! Very good)<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Muy bueño (very good)<br />
<br><font color="#8D38C9">'''Cassie''':</font> Aha, exacto. (it is!)<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[Laughs]'' Okay, that's good. <br />
<br><font color="#8D38C9">'''Cassie''':</font> Well, I going down, okay?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Okay, you're going down- by the way, let me ask ya Cassie, do you ever- you've uh- you've actually met uh Sarah May in person, haven't you? <br />
<br><font color="#8D38C9">'''Cassie''':</font> Not. She's on Internet.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Oh. Okay. That's cool- but anyway uh- you got- you d- you have my Wii number, uh- you can reply the email with your Wii number and it'll be registered on the Wii network. <br />
<br><font color="#8D38C9">'''Cassie:'''</font> ''[very haltingly]'' Yes. So. Cool. Talk with you Chris. You are so cool. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Heh. Uhhhh. You flatter me. Tú me flatteray. ''[Laughs]''<br />
<br><font color="#8D38C9">'''Cassie:'''</font> ''[Weak laugh]'' Well, see you. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Adiós. <br />
<br><font color="#8D38C9">'''Cassie:'''</font> Adiós. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[In his 'baby voice']'' Adiós. ''[sigh]'' <br />
<br><font color="#8D38C9">'''Cassie:'''</font> Adiós, bebé.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Adiós, chiquita bonita. ''[Laughs]''<br />
<br>[Pause as audio cuts out]<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> -it again. <br />
<br>[Another pause]<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> So anyway, Chris. I've been working on Rabbichoso for a day and uh- I was just wonderin' like, it's- it's supposed to compete with the Sonichu, you know? If you weren't aware of that. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uhhhh. I grabbed onto d- grabbed onto g I- grabbed onto the... that gist. I'm aware- I'm aware of the gist of the theory. Uh. I'm aw- I'm aware that you're- that you're tryin' to compete. <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> You know what competition does. It's drives uh- it drives consumer interest- Well that's why you know- It's great. You have to compete with high quality things. ''[muffled]''- that's why I'm trying to help. You know, compete. Just so you're aware of this, OK?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I see. -see. <br />
<br>[Pause]<br />
<br />
===Rabbichoso And Animu===<br />
<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> So Chris we've been ge- been getting uh threatening images from the Pickle Man. Did you s- did you see the left? <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh. I've not heard from the Pickle Man in lo- in a long time. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> Apparently there are multiple ones because this one is, uh, not a darkie. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Uh-huh. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> It's good that they're leaving you alone now. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Yep.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack''':</font> Seems like they found more easier targets. Seeing as how you became [[Navy|saltier]].<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Uh. You know I originally got that line- quote from an e- ep- episode of ExCel Saga. <br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack''':</font> From what?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> ExCel Saga.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack''':</font> Oh, ExCel Saga. Oh, yeah, that's a good anime.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> AIII I-Falazzo! (''He means [[ScotPalazzo|Il-Palazzo]]'')<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Uh, have you ever seen two animes, ''[muffled]'' and Schooldays?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Hmm. I have not seen either of those. I like Steel Angel Kurumi as well.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Chris, how much Japanese do you know?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Only a little bit. I'm not totally fluent. I can say that with all honesty. <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> ''[Says something unintelligible, not quite Japanese]''<!-- It sounds like he's saying "You say you can't- can you speak with me?" in CHINESE. --><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Huh?<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Never mind, you won't understand it.<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> ''[unclear] Chris-Chan. Genki desu-ka?''<br />
<br />
===Chris Could Kill Clyde===<br />
<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Falsion:'''</font> Yeah, I just wanted to say, uh, you're doing a good job, like, keeping calm even though Clyde is here. I mean u- I thought you'd be, like, more angry at him. <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> I'm being calm with you guys.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> -I would have been choking him by now.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Other Troll''':</font> I'd have kicked his ass.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Preach to the choir. Pr- <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> ''[interrupts]'' I'd make him choke on a pickle if it were up to me.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> You guys can't touch me otherwise I'd kick all your asses. ''[Laughs]''<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Huh.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Yeah, bring it.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Chris could kick Clyde's ass anytime.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Let's see Chris do it.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Bring it to me any day of the week and I'll definitely show him a hard- day's night. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> Yeah I think you could kick his ass.<br />
<br>[Trolls and Clyde talk over each other]<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> ''[Sings]'' -been a hard day's night...<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> -never mind, just...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> I mean that as a- meant that as in I would beat... him up. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> Kick his ass?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> I'm very strong. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> Chris. I'm gonna see you later, OK?<br />
<br>''[Unison of goodbyes]''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Cassie's Friend:'''</font> OK see ya. Thank you so much Chris. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[ignoring his fans]'' Yeah I can- I can lift about my weight. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Like um- if Clyde were right in front of you, what would you do to him?<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Like, what kind of style of fighting do you have?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Hey, shut up.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> I gotta know my competition. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Personal- in the physical offense. ''[sigh]'' I would definitely be giving you so much physical pain. <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> That's not a s- that's not a style. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> I would beat you up.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> He deserves it man.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Well, that's still not a style...<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> He uses fisticuffs. He's a gentleman. Gentleman fisticuffs. <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Whatever, I'll just see-<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Stop arguing and just-<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Other Troll:'''</font> ''[Over previous troll]'' I mean, if he did that to my sweetheart I'd fucking kill him. <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Well. He's not- he's not going to come over and kill me, I know that. He doesn't have the money. [pause] You know I'm surprised that you're mad here. You're much kinder in person I thought you- Now I'm just expecting you at my door anytime, just waiting for you to stand here with an axe or something. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Knives are too messy. <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Ah, now a sword- sword's are usually better.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> What about poison?<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Poison's good, poison's good.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Clyde, what- do you want him to beat your ass?<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> No I was just expecting it, you know.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Yeah, you know what's another thing? I would definitely not tell you how I would be hurting you, but I would definitely give you a who- big amount of pain. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> Oh, he's gonna keep you guessin'!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> Yeah he deserves it. After everything he's done-<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> ''[Muffled by troll]'' -going to kill me, I'd like to know. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh. I'm just going to let you cover in- worry. <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Oh so you're never going to show up, it's-<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[interrupts]'' Oh yes I will show up. But you just won't be expecting it. <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> You don't even know where I live, do you? <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Find out!<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Maybe I should give you my address. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Chris, you should track him down and kick his ass.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> But I'm going to leave you guessing too...<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Defend Panda's h- Panda's honor.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Other Troll:'''</font> Hey Julie.<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> Oh, hi Julie.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> 'sup Julie.<br />
<br>''[Pause]''<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hey Julie.<br />
<br>''[Everyone talks over each other]''<br />
<br />
===Clyde's A Dick===<br />
<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Yeah I notice her mic doesn't work. But still I'm just letting her know that- acknowledge her presence. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> You're doing well staying calm even though Clyde's here.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Yeah, Clyde's a total dick.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Yep. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> Fucker.<br />
<br>''[Rustling]''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> I mean, he's taken over everything. The IRC. This. I can't- no one can stop him. <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> ''[muffled]'' -over there, so...<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Female Troll:'''</font> I- I like Rabbichoso.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Of course you do. ''[Laughs]''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Female Troll''':</font> It's funny. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> I will not offer any new comment on it.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Well, OK. <br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Chris, when can we expect the next Sonichu to be released.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> Yeah, we've been eager.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> It'll be soon. It will be soon.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Yeah just ignore Clyde man.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> I mean if you're going to put a hard date on it, you'd better deliver your promise. If you don't, I'll strike harder. That's all I'm saying.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hmm. You're saying if I don't set a date, you're gonna...<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> No, no. I'm saying don't make promises you can't keep. Don't make promises you can't keep.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hmm.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> He'll choke you with his medallion bitch!<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Other Troll''':</font> Yeah, who the hell do you think you are?<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> I agree with Cogs over there. Maybe you should do just a page a day, not release all at once. Keep his-<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> ''[interrupts]'' Why are you telling him this when he hates you?<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> I'm giving him suggestions man, OK? OK?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> Only thing he's gonna suggest to you is 'shut the fuck up'!<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Other Troll''':</font> Yeah, seriously man.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> It's alright. <br />
<br>[pause]<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Penny Arcade's slow.<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> Oh you mean like Penny Arcade or ''[unclear]'' or MegaTokyo?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Yeah they're just like- boring. Then they because sellouts. <br />
<br />
===Chris's Country Cookin===<br />
<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Other Troll:'''</font> Chris, where's your favorite place to eat?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Hmm. Can't really say uh- but I like country cookin'. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> Oh yeah?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Other Troll''':</font> What's country cooking?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Uh no G's in the sto- no G's in the name by the way, no G. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> Yeah what's country cooking? I'm not familiar with that.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> It's like uh- som- something like Golden Corral. <br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> But Golden Corral is a national franchise.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Mmm. <br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> Uh Chris, how are your parents?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> They're OK.<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> Oh OK. <br />
<br>[Long pause]<br />
<br />
===Sex Is Shit===<br />
<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Chris I've got a sug- another suggestion. Now be quiet all of you cause I know you hate me. Just- <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> No, Chris hates you.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Well don't defend him. He can defend himself OK? He's a man. But whatever-<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Let him speak.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> I'm suggesting that- you go on and on about this sex stuff but you've never gotten laid, have you? <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I like to put myself in the imaginative situation that I'd like to be in and the sexual stimulation. So I can be ready for [[ego|myself]] for when I do actually have my first time.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Well my first time was- I'll just say that it's terrible, OK? I didn't know what I was doing, she didn't know-<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Let me guess, you prematurely ejaculated?<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> No, no, no, it's not like that you don't know what to do. Every woman's told me OK? You can't prepare-<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> ''[Talks over Clyde]'' First time's always awkward...<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> -I learnt that mistake a while back, OK whatever. OK, you just- you can't prepare for your first time. You might as well just have a really bad first time so you learn from your mistakes. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> I'm not trying to defend Clyde or anything, but yeah it's kinda true. <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Hmm. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> The girl I first fell in love with is the girl I'm married to right now. Samantha just changed my world. But marriage does get boring.<br />
<br />
===Chris's Tips To STAY STRAIGHT===<br />
<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Chris, I know how you say how important it is to stay straight, um- I'm having trouble staying straight, do you have any suggestions?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Watch a bunch of pornography with uh- with naked women. OK, a lot of naked women.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> That happened to me one time...<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Falsion:'''</font> Chris, I have this friend I play video games with, is that gay? He's male by the way.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Sorry could you- I'm sorry could you repeat that?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Falsion''':</font> I have this guy I'm friends with he always comes over to my house to play video games. Is that gay? I'm kinda scared. You know? I don't wanna be gay.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hm. Hmm. Is he making any advances towards you? Personally. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Falsion''':</font> I dunno how to tell. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Like uh sit- does he always sit next to you when he's playing games. Playing video games.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Falsion''':</font> Yeah he usually does. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Hmm. I see. Hmm. My- well- my suggestion in that case, would be to keep a heavy distance between you and that guy. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Falsion''':</font> I don't think he meant anything gay by it though. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Sorry, what?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Falsion''':</font> I don't think he means anything like- gay about it. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Well, still- it's always best to find out- you can ask him. Don't be afraid to ask him. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Falsion''':</font> What would you do in this situation?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Well if he said yes then I would uh- basically- let me think about that a moment. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Falsion''':</font> Do you have any friends who're are like, guys?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Only acquaintances and only a few of them.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Falsion''':</font> Do you play video games with people or anything? Do they come over to your house?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No. No.<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> Um, I remember-<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Falsion:'''</font> ''[Cuts Polly off]'' I'm just worried I might be gay or something. I don't wanna be gay.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> You probably are Falsion, but that's OK. No, look dude.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Leave him alone! Leave him alone! He's straight!<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack''':</font> Why?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> Hey, let's have a calm conversation here. Let's not have any fights.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah. Yeah. <br />
<br>''[Trolls speak over each other]''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> I've been reading the Sonichu comics and man, they are page-turners! Seri- I was on- I was on the edge of my seat for a while. I ju- I couldn't- I couldn't- you know. Just had to read and read.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Hm. Thank you. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Falsion:'''</font> Chris, can I be your friend? I know I'm a guy. I don't mean anything gay by it. Can I be your friend? <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Mm. I dunno. <br />
<br />
===A Wild Snorlax Appears===<br />
<br />
<br><font color="#000099">'''Barbara:'''</font> Do you want any hotdogs?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> No, I'm OK. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Falsion''':</font> No?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> I was talking with my mother.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Falsion''':</font> Oh. I was wondering if I could be your friend.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Oh. Mmm. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Falsion''':</font> Oh. I h- heard you only like, you only like to be acquaintances. With guys. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Yeah, ummm. Let's just pretty much leave it at acquaintance. <br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Hello Mrs. Chandler. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> She can't hear you, I'm wearing my earphones.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Falsion''':</font> Listen, I'm not gay. I don't- you know- yeah. Never mind.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris''':</font> Yeah I mean- I mea- I-<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> What do you have against gay people? I'm serious to hear this. <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> It's just unnatural and it's against God's will. <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> I mean, it's not like it's a choice. You can't change who you are like- you're a creative guy but I mean they're just gay. They can't change that. <br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm just answering a few questions mother.<br />
<br><font color="#000099">'''Barbara:'''</font> You don't have to answer. Nobody's payin' you to do that.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack''':</font> Yes they are.<br />
<br>''[shuffling sounds, clanging]''<br />
<br><font color="#000099">'''Barbara:'''</font> It ain't none of their business no-way.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hm.<br />
<br><font color="#000099">'''Barbara:'''</font> I wouldn't be asked questions like that by employers or anybody. Don't tell people what you d- what you think. Keep that to yourself. <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Troll:'''</font> Chris what's hap- what's happening?<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, obviously, my mother is offering her input.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Tell her you're just talking to some friends. <br />
<br><font color="#000099">'''Barbara:'''</font> ''[muffled]'' I don't need no back talk from somebody on the other end of the phone.<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> I hear you, Mom. Hmm. Hmm. <br />
<br>''[scraping sounds]''<br />
<br><font color="#000099">'''Barbara:'''</font> These- these idiots don't have any brains or- they don't have any idea this way or that.<br />
<br>''[more banging, clanging and tumbling sounds. Sounds like washing up]''<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Troll:'''</font> Is right now a bad time right now? I mean-<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> Pixelblocks, Pixelblocks!<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Someone's saying "Pixelblocks." <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Troll:'''</font> Chris, are you saying [[Pixelblocks]]?<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[Laughs]''<br />
<br>''[Chris's mom has been singing]''<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Your mother has a beautiful singing voice, Chris.<br />
<br>[Audio cuts]<br />
<br><font color="#000099">'''Barbara:'''</font> ''[Audio cuts back in]'' -all the anxiety, causing you stress.<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well sometimes they don't; they can be peaceful.<br />
<br><font color="#000099">'''Barbara:'''</font> Well, your mom and dad get the crappy end of the stick.<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> Mmm, a lot of us do.<br />
<br>''[more clattering sounds]''<br />
<br><font color="#000099">'''Barbara:'''</font> Yeah, just like this nasty mess over here that you guys left that I got to clean up.<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> Mm. ''[Audio cuts]'' -Yeah, I took care of my bills. I mean, not completely, but I took care of them.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Troll:'''</font> What about going to, uh, Redmond?<br />
<br><font color="#FF3">'''Arjen Van Dierten:'''</font> We! (Wii?) <br />
<br>[unintelligible, windows beeps]<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> ''[laughing]'' Yeah, sweetheart pool.<br />
<br><font color="#FF3">'''Arjen Van Dierten:'''</font> Mmhmm. ''[laughing]'' Like the other side of the pillow.<br />
<br>''[someone sighing. Clanging noises return after short absence]''<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> ''[unclear]'' ...is all, I mean, living with your parents is okay bad-in today's bad economy, but at 26, come on. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Shut up, you.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Now, I'm being nice.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Clyde isn't so bad a guy. He does bad things, but he's pretty cool. <br />
<br><font color="#FF3">'''Arjen Van Dierten:'''</font> Yeah he's reformed. He's seen the error- Yeah. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> How- how could he do that to Sarah? I mean- That's not right.<br />
<br><font color="#FF3">'''Arjen Van Dierten:'''</font> Yeah. Well, that's like Luke... That's like Luke and Laura from General Hospital. I know that's like, before y'all's time, but, um... Luke was a rapist and she-he raped Laura and then, like, a few months later they get married. So... ''[Laughs]''<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> Yeah, I believe Clyde was trying to make amends from his past actions.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Falsion:'''</font> Yeah, but Chris, can you uh- can you forgive him?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Random Troll:'''</font> ''[whispering]'' White whale, holy grail! <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Can you forgive a small-dicked Asian? Just a thought.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> He's not Asian! <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> I'm half-Asian, okay? My parents ''[unclear]'' I don't really wanna go into it. It's too bo-boring for you people. But this is why I ''[unclear]''.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Chris, are you there? Just makin' sure, buddy.<br />
<br>''[clattering]'' <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Move out.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Another Troll''':</font> Well, how do I do that?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> What?<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> Hi there, my kitty. ''[In baby voice]'' Yes, there's a pretty kitty.<br />
<br>''[Someone speaking with a voice-synth]''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Hang on a second. I've got, like, a thousand different... Oh, Crass, why'd you do that?<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack''':</font> Because. You can unban him but, yeah. I'm not gonna friggin' stand for that. <br />
<br>''[Sound of a vacuum cleaner]''<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack''':</font> I (m j d?) do that.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> I heard the "g" word.<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly''':</font> Um, is that a vacuum cleaner?<br />
<br><font color="#FF3">'''Arjen Van Dierten''':</font> Yeah, sounds like it is.<br />
<br>[Trolls speak but are drowned out by vacuum]''<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> ...room or something.<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> I think the vacuum cleaner... <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> If that's the government trying to do some kind of thing, then my name's Rusty Shackleford.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Oh.<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly''':</font> Oh, okay.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> That's a loud fan.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Other Troll''':</font> I have a fan above my stove, too.<br />
<br><font color="#FF3">'''Arjen Van Dierten''':</font> Hey... I do, too.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Wait- wha- wait. You-you-you're in the kitchen? <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> Me too.<br />
<br>''[possibly Sonic game sound effects]''<br />
<br><font color="#80F080">'''Max:'''</font> Chris? <br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> Mmhm? Mm.<br />
<br><font color="#80F080">'''Max:'''</font> I'm pretty sure it's already asked, but I didn't catch the answer. When can we expect the next Sonichu comic?<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> I-I-I told you my suggestion of releasing a page a day or something. I mean, it's a pretty good one. It-it-it allows for a good time. Finish a page a day. You upload it. You know? It's very good. Works very well.<br />
<br>''[Barbara singing]''<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> Uh. I mean- you guys keep asking when he's going to finish it but I wonder how many pages are going to be in the new one? <br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> The last one was like, thirty. Just release it over the span of a month. Works fine. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> ...go up to ninety thousand...<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> ''[mutters something]''<br />
<br>''[Sound of Barbara singing]''<br />
<br><font color="#000099">'''Barbara:'''</font> Down by the river...side.<br />
<br><font color="#CC0033">'''Jack:'''</font> Your mother has a beautiful voice, Chris.<br />
<br>''[clattering, typing]''<br />
<br><font color="#000099">'''Barbara:'''</font> ''[unclear, repeating the same two phrases]'' Gone down by the river, down by the water side, down by the riverside. Down by the waterside. Down by the riverside.<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> I remember ''[unclear]''<br />
<br>''[Audio cuts]''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> -I'm hungry myself.<br />
<br>''[some kind of alarm sounding]''<br />
<br><font color="#80F080">'''Max:'''</font> Then go eat.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> No, you.<br />
<br><font color="#80F080">'''Max:'''</font> I already ate.<br />
<br />
===Anime And Shit===<br />
<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> I wonder what anime Chris watches nowadays. There's not many on television but do you still watch Japanese cartoons? <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> ''[In a bad accent]'' Kawaii desu ne. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Other Troll:'''</font> I want to watch Shuffle. He said it was very good. He said it was sad. I don't know if I wanna watch- I don't like sad stuff. I like to be happy when I watch anime.<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> Oh, and um, do you watch stuff like Bleach and um Code Geass or Naruto or something?<br />
<br>''[Pause]''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Other Troll:'''</font> I'm glad to hear that Shuffle isn't sad. I'm definitely going to watch it sometime.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Um, yeah Chris that was a good call on Naruto. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Other Troll:'''</font> Yeah there's a lot of people who don't like it much either. Too popular.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> But please. Please. Hope. ''[audio cuts out briefly]'' Uh, Chris, please consider When They Cry.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Other Troll''':</font> Ooh, I saw that one. It was a really good series.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> Oh, I know; that was good, like- <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Other Troll''':</font> Yeah. Both seasons of it. <br />
<br>''[Windows beeps, voices overlapping]''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> I could link you to Season One if you want. Yeah, Samantha got me into that. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Other Troll:'''</font> ...you'll give it a try, Chris. It's a very, very good series.<br />
<br><font color="#FF3">'''Arjen Van Dierten:'''</font> Hm. Hey, Julie. How are you?<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Other Troll:'''</font> ...lots of ''[unclear]''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> Watch Shuffle. You got the six episodes of Shuffle or... Which o- which anime? I'm sorry. <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> Oh and JoJo's Bizarre Adventure is also cool. <br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> I really liked JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. Very ''[unclear]''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Za warudo!<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Oh yeah, I think Shuffle is quite all right. I like Heidi. She's sweet and loyal.<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Other Troll:'''</font> That's a good one. One of my favorites is Black Lagoon.<br />
<br><font color="#FF77FF">'''Polly:'''</font> Um, Chris have you ever seen La Blue Girl?<br />
<br>''[Trolls talk over each other about different anime]'' <br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll:'''</font> Hey, uh, Chris can I, my, uh, I don't know if it's all right, but, like, could you like, give me an email sometime? I could, uh... recommend you to... this anime that... Polly and... Julie like to watch. They're quite- they... Oh, C-and Cogs has recommended such great anime. <br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[talking to his mother]'' Yeah? That's ''[unclear]''<br />
<br><font color="#000080">'''Troll''':</font> As well as Julie-Julie's the person that got me into anime.<br />
<br />
===People Love Poketunes===<br />
<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> -we can go into this later cause I got my headphones on. And, Mom, you know what something else? They liked your singing.<br />
<br><font color="#000099">'''Barbara:'''</font> What? I don't sing.<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> You just did!<br />
<br><font color="#000099">'''Barbara:'''</font> That's my laugh; that's my laugh. They couldn't hear me. <br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> They heard you. Singin'. Just now.<br />
<br><font color="#000099">'''Barbara:'''</font> I can't sing!<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> You just did!<br />
<br><font color="#000099">'''Barbara:'''</font> I'm tone deaf. <br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> They just heard you singing, and liked your voice.<br />
<br><font color="#000099">'''Barbara:'''</font> Okay. Did you write checks for all those bills and pack everything ''[unclear]''?<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah. Yes, Mother, I did.<br />
<br><font color="#000099">'''Barbara:'''</font> You're not telling me no story?<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> No, I'm not telling you no story.<br />
<br><font color="#000099">'''Barbara:'''</font> OK. It's important [''inaudible''] did you pay them?<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes, I paid that one. <br />
<br><font color="#000099">'''Barbara:'''</font> Okay, you have to be honest with me, 'cause, see, you're settin'...<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm being honest, I'm being honest.<br />
<br><font color="#000099">'''Barbara:'''</font> How you respond to what [we] talk about. You say you ought to something and you don't do it then that's gonna change my ideas ''[unclear]''.<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> Okay... I'll be sure to pay the remaining differences next month.<br />
<br><font color="#000099">'''Barbara:'''</font> No, this month.<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> I know but I couldn't pay them all with 90 dollars so there's still some left ''[sound cuts]'' ...oh, you're cooking them up here, okay, that's why you turned the fan on over the stove.<br />
<br>[Audio cuts]<br />
<br>''[Trolls rejoice and mock Momma Chandler]''<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 1|Mumble Chat 1]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 3|Mumble Chat 3]]|}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Spanish]]<br />
==Links==<br />
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?mtnztmniomk Download]<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Mumble chats]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chloe&diff=153813
Chloe
2011-12-05T06:28:34Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
[[Image:Chloe.jpg|thumb|This is what Chloe would look like, if she were actually real.]]<br />
<br />
''This page is about the fictional girlfriend. For the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] of the same name, see [[Chloe Rosechu]].''<br />
<br />
'''Chloe''' is the made-up girlfriend that [[Chris]] claimed to be seeing shortly after his break-up with [[Blanca]]. She was partially inspired by [[PandaHalo]], but still described as a separate entity.<br />
<br />
==Background==<br />
In an [[Chris's_Sonichu_IRC_Chloe_Introduction|IRC chat]] in the wee hours of 26 [[October 2008]], Chris announced he had a new sweetheart named Chloe. He stated that he had met her in mid-September and started going out with her on 20 October 2008 (the day his medallions were destroyed on YouTube and one day before he BAWWED in [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_October_21st%2C_2008|this video]], which raised suspicions as to why he was depressed about [[Blanca]] if he already met a new sweetheart). Supposedly, they ran into each other at the local [[GameStop]] while the both of them were preordering ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''. Chris then alleged that he had his first date at Taco Bell, after which they "kissed deeply."<br />
<br />
Chris said that Chloe is his [[sweetheart|"VIRGIN-TAKER"]] and that she took his [[ED]] page "with a grain of salt." <br />
<br />
Chloe was formally introduced in the [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_October_27th%2C_2008|Q&A video of 27 October 2008]] where Chris nervously announced her existence. In the video, he announced that he would possibly move in with Chloe after she got her own place.<br />
<br />
==Aftermath==<br />
{{Quote|I currently have no recollection of a Chloe.|Chris, probably being completely [[honest]]<ref>[[Mailbag 13]]</ref>.}}<br />
<br />
Due to Chris's unreliable short-term memory and inaction on the part of [[trolls]], after the 27 October video Chloe was never mentioned again. It was shortly discovered that Chris was talking mostly about Panda (and it would later be revealed on [[CWCipedia]] that Panda created a fan character named [[Chloe Rosechu]]). However, he was never pressed on the fact that he was describing a woman who was a completely different entity than Panda whom he would later call his true sweetheart quite openly (by making up a story about how he met Chloe at GameStop, how they kissed IRL, how they went on a date to Taco Bell, etc.). Chloe was the first instance of Chris blatantly [[List of Chris's lies|lying]] about having a girlfriend, rather than his usual tactic of just exaggerating his relationship. Say what you will about his relationship with [[Megan]] or [[the Wallflower]], at least they actually existed.<br />
<br />
A little more than a year later, in [[Mailbag 13]], Chris honestly couldn't remember Chloe, even though she was supposedly the woman he had his first real kiss with.<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Chris'_Sonichu_IRC_Chloe_Introduction|Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction]]<br />
*[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008]]<br />
<br />
{{Sweethearts}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Sweethearts]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=CWCki:CWChronology&diff=153812
CWCki:CWChronology
2011-12-05T06:28:12Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
[[Image:Professional-drinker.png|thumb|Average CWChronology employee.]]<br />
[[Image:Timeline.png|thumb|A timeline showing all the major [[Saga|historical eras]] in Chris's life.]]<br />
<br />
The '''CWChronology''' (pronounced like "Quick-Chronology") is the timeline that documents every notable occurrence in [[Chris's]] life. It was started by Rach on [[2009#January|23 January 2009]], on the oldskool [[PVCC]], and since then it has been working like a news service. All data covering events prior to [[2009#January|23 January 2009]], have been gathered through historical research. On [[February 2009|16 February 2009]], the CWChronology moved to [[CWCki]], so that now everybody can edit it.<br />
<br />
==Accessing the CWChronology==<br />
From [[2000]] on, all years have separate articles. There are also articles for the [[1990s]], [[1980s]] and a single page for [[pre-1980]] events.<br />
<br />
Years that have been covered in the CWChronology:<br />
* [[2011]]<br />
* [[2010]]<br />
* [[2009]]<br />
* [[2008]]<br />
* [[2007]]<br />
* [[2006]]<br />
* [[2005]]<br />
* [[2004]]<br />
* [[2003]]<br />
* [[2002]]<br />
* [[2001]]<br />
* [[2000]]<br />
* [[1990s#1999|1999]]<br />
* [[1990s#1998|1998]]<br />
* [[1990s#1997|1997]]<br />
* [[1990s#1996|1996]]<br />
* [[1990s#1995|1995]]<br />
* [[1990s#1994|1994]]<br />
* [[1990s#1993|1993]]<br />
* [[1990s#1992|1992]]<br />
* [[1990s#1991|1991]]<br />
* [[1990s#1990|1990]]<br />
* [[1980s#1989|1989]]<br />
* [[1980s#1988|1988]]<br />
* [[1980s#1987|1987]]<br />
* [[1980s#1986|1986]]<br />
* [[1980s#1985|1985]]<br />
* [[1980s#1984|1984]]<br />
* [[1980s#1983|1983]]<br />
* [[1980s#1982|1982]]<br />
* [[1981]]<br />
* [[1980]]<br />
*[[Pre-1980]]<br />
<br />
==CWChronology rules and style guide== <br />
* Dates must somehow be relevant to Chris. For instance, trolling is only included in the CWChronology if it somehow affects Chris, otherwise it's not important enough. Exceptions can be made for dates that are relevant to the CWChronology itself.<br />
* Lots of blue links. The CWChronology should be a portal to the rest of the [[CWCki]].<br />
* Lots of images. This makes it moar fun browsing. Best way to not let the images fuck up the layout is to just list them at the top of the article (see [[2008]]). Also, make sure they are somewhat related to the text next to them.<br />
* If two sources conflict, and give different dates for an occurrence, add them both, but mention the fact that the sources conflict.<br />
* Occurrences in the ''Sonichu'' canon are also included, but they are noted as being in the ''Sonichu'' canon.<br />
* Annotations aren't obligatory, but they are welcome. Especially if the date isn't considered as common knowledge, or if the inclusion is controversial.<br />
* If multiple unrelated events take place on one day, they get separate entrances. They are listed in the order in which the events happened.<br />
* Don't make style components up. It looks messy and will be reverted no matter how important the info is. Spare us and yourself the time.<br />
<br />
==Tasks that are still to be done==<br />
If you do a good job you can earn the CWChronology Iron Cross for this:<br />
* Add Chris's fan chats and Mumble conversations from [[February 2009]] onwards to the CWChronology, with a one-sentence summary of their contents.<br />
* <s>Write short summaries for the months from [[July 2009]] onwards, to go at the top of the article.</s><br />
* Sent e-mails containing notable information need to be added, with a one-sentence summary of their contents.<br />
<br />
{{timeline}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Chronology]]<br />
[[Category:CWCki projects]]</div>
Pfargtl9000
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Dark_Mirror_Hole&diff=153811
Dark Mirror Hole
2011-12-05T06:27:32Z
<p>Pfargtl9000: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
The '''Dark Mirror Hole''' was the secret weapon of [[Count Graduon]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] in their invasion of [[CWCville]], seen in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] and [[Sonichu 6|#6]]. Although they intended to trap [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] in its otherworldly reflection, his twin sister [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] wound up trapped in his place. Since this dark day, the primary mission of [[Sonichu]] and the [[Chaotic Combo]] has been to free Crystal from the Mirror. You know, when they're not lounging around on the beach or screwing each other's brains out.<br />
<br />
==Out of ideas? [[Parody|Steal from]] Anime!==<br />
[[Image:Sm-mirror.jpg|thumb|left|As seen in Sailor Moon]]<br />
<br />
Both the Dark Mirror's name and style are swiped from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''. The name is a complete ripoff of the Black Dream Hole that appears in the [[Wikipedia:Sailor Moon Supers: The Movie|Sailor Moon Super S movie]] whereas the mirror itself and its behavior are associated with one of the [[Wikipedia:Dead Moon Circus#Queen Nehellenia|villains of the television series]], who used mirrors to capture the protagonists. There is doubt as to whether or not Chris has actually watched any of these, or if it's second/third-hand information from [[Megan]].<br />
<br />
Christian's rendition looks like a purple photo frame with what could be construed as ''Mickey Mouse'' styled ears. <br />
<br />
The idea of entry to and escape from "mirror worlds" was taken from [[Wikipedia:Sonic Shuffle|''Sonic Shuffle'']].<ref>[[Mailbag 52]]</ref><br />
{{Clear}}<br />
<br />
==History== <br />
[[Image:CrystalMirror.jpg|thumb|right|"Well, I got one anyway!" Mary Lee Walsh cackled upon capture of the Ernie shirt crusader]]<br />
<br />
By concealing the Dark Mirror in a street on the battleground, the villains lured [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] to that exact spot, whereupon Graduon activated the Dark Mirror Hole spell to cause Chris to sink into the mirror. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, Chris walked right into the trap. <br />
<br />
As Chris-Chan Sonichu sank into the mirror, his transformation was canceled, reverting him to his human form of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. However, before he was completely engulfed in the mirror, [[Sailor Megtune]] and [[Crystalina Rosechu]] managed to grab hold of his hands. Apparently, Graduon hadn't counted on anyone actually caring enough about Chris to try to save him, which is an understandable error. <br />
<br />
Realizing that Chris would suffer more if his sister and gal-pal were trapped in the mirror instead, Graduon made the magic pane of the mirror flip over. While Megtune was too focused on Chris to notice, Crystalina sensed the mirror flipping at the last second, and used her tail to fling Megtune out of danger, so that only she would become trapped in the Dark Mirror. <br />
<br />
Like Chris, Crystalina reverted to her human form inside the Dark Mirror. Seizing on the opportunity, Mary Lee Walsh demanded that the heroes of CWCville surrender unconditionally in exchange for Crystal's safe release. Before Chris could make a decision, [[Patti-Chan]] and [[Darkbind Sonichu]] arrived to break the standoff. Using her magic shamrock vibrator, Patti rescued the Dark Mirror from Walsh's grasp, and Darkbind and Sailor Megtune forced her and Graduon to withdraw. <br />
<br />
Following the battle, Chris and his hedgehog allies worked diligently to free Crystal from the Dark Mirror, but the only thing that had any effect was a Sonichu Ball. [[Magi-Chan]] quickly concluded that only the combined power of all seven [[Sonichu Balls]] could extricate Crystal from the Dark Mirror. Those, or the Chaos Emeralds. Whichever one's easier. <br />
<br />
Since then, the main plot of the comics has been the hunt for the Sonichu Balls. As of [[Sonichu 8]], five have been collected, with two more in Chris's possession as he floats aimlessly through the time-stream. Chris was slated to return to CWCville in [[Sonichu 9]], after which Crystal's freedom would be a simple matter.<br />
<br />
In fact, it was far simpler a matter than that - in [[Sonichu 10]], Chris, under the form of [[Collosal Chan]] simply ''walks'' into the mirror, picks up Crystal, and walks out.<br />
<br />
==Inside the Dark Mirror==<br />
<br />
Because of Chris's "[[Autism|less is more approach]]" to art, the dimension within the Dark Mirror Hole is only depicted as a blank purple void (Similar to the [[Sonichu 7|Time Void]] used in following issues). It is left to the reader to assume that the dimension is filled with vile, Lovecraftian demons who gang-rape Crystal day and night and force her to subsist on a diet of her own excrement.<br />
<br />
{{CWCverse}}<br />
[[Category: Plot Devices]][[Category: Special Attacks]]</div>
Pfargtl9000