List of Sonichu characters - Revision history

Elbow-Greased Strongman: /* Crystal Weston Chandler */

2026-06-19T07:51:25Z

Crystal Weston Chandler

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:51, 19 June 2026
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	{{main\|Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)}}		{{main\|Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)}}

	Chris's imaginary sister. A virtual duplicate of Chris with the exception of being a female, she is created by the power of Chris's [[Pixelblock]] [[Heart Torch]], giving her sentience. Like Chris, she can become a Rosechu – Crystalina Rosechu – through her own medallion. She later spends half of the comic trapped away in a [[Dark Mirror Hole\|mirror]] before being rescued as an afterthought. Chris makes [[Chris and sex#Incest\|numerous remarks about her beauty]].		Chris's imaginary sister. A virtual duplicate of Chris c. 2005 with the exception of being a female, she is created by the power of Chris's [[Pixelblock]] [[Heart Torch]], giving her sentience. Like Chris, she can become a Rosechu – Crystalina Rosechu – through her own medallion. She later spends half of the comic trapped away in a [[Dark Mirror Hole\|mirror]] before being rescued as an afterthought. Chris makes [[Chris and sex#Incest\|numerous remarks about her beauty]].

	=== Snorlax ===		=== Snorlax ===

Elbow-Greased Strongman: /* Boulder-Dropping Whale */

2026-06-19T07:42:56Z

Boulder-Dropping Whale

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:42, 19 June 2026
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	[[Image:Boulder Whale.jpg\|160px\|thumb\|left\|The Boulder Dropping Whale's lone appearance in the comic.]]		[[Image:Boulder Whale.jpg\|160px\|thumb\|left\|The Boulder Dropping Whale's lone appearance in the comic.]]
	As the name suggests, Boulder-Dropping Whale is a creature resembling a whale, who literally dropped a boulder. This signature attack was used against the Swampert who raised Bubbles, and would have drowned the Swampert if not for Bubbles's timely intervention. Although never named in the comic, the whale's anonymity and murderous hatred for ''Sonichu'' characters has earned him a cult following among [[trolls\|fans]], who have dubbed him "Boulder-Dropping Whale", or "BDW" for short.		As the name suggests, Boulder-Dropping Whale is a creature resembling a whale, who literally dropped a boulder. This signature attack was used against the Swampert who raised Bubbles, and would have drowned the Swampert if not for Bubbles's timely intervention. Although never named in the comic, the whale's anonymity and seeming murderous hatred for ''Sonichu'' characters has earned him a cult following among [[trolls\|fans]], who have dubbed him "Boulder-Dropping Whale", or "BDW" for short.
	[[Image:Wailord.png\|200px\|thumb\|An actual Wailord.]]		[[Image:Wailord.png\|200px\|thumb\|An actual Wailord.]]
	Originally identified as a common whale in the [[Audiobooks]], Chris stated in [[CWC Blog#12 January 2010\|a blog in January 2010]] that it is a Wailord, a [[Pokémon]] that closely resembles a whale. This makes sense, as Chris always uses Pokémon when drawing background fauna in his comics (probably because he didn't pay attention during any of his biology classes in high school), such as the underwater scene in [[Sonichu 8\|''Sonichu'' #8]] which featured only Pokémon sea creatures, and no naturally occurring wildlife. Further, BDW's trademark attack appears to resemble "Rock Tomb", an attack available to many Pokémon in the video games, including Wailord.		Originally identified as a common whale in the [[Audiobooks]], Chris stated in [[CWC Blog#12 January 2010\|a blog in January 2010]] that it is a Wailord, a [[Pokémon]] that closely resembles a whale. This makes sense, as Chris always uses Pokémon when drawing background fauna in his comics (probably because he didn't pay attention during any of his biology classes in high school), such as the underwater scene in [[Sonichu 8\|''Sonichu'' #8]] which featured only Pokémon sea creatures, and no naturally occurring wildlife. Further, BDW's trademark attack appears to resemble "Rock Tomb", an attack available to many Pokémon in the video games, including Wailord.

Elbow-Greased Strongman: /* Spiny Norman */

2026-02-06T02:32:07Z

Spiny Norman

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:32, 5 February 2026
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	===Spiny Norman===		===Spiny Norman===

	An actual hedgehog, Chris shoehorned in an incredibly minor reference to an early ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]'' sketch on the page calling out [[Jimmy Hill]], presumably because Chris' only exposure to the British ~~was the~~ TV ~~show~~.		An actual hedgehog, Chris shoehorned in an incredibly minor reference to an early ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]'' sketch on the page calling out [[Jimmy Hill]], presumably because Chris' only exposure to the British seems to be from TV shows.

	==[[Sonichu 11\|''Sonichu'' #11]]==		==[[Sonichu 11\|''Sonichu'' #11]]==

Elbow-Greased Strongman: /* Basement Rosechus */

2026-01-14T05:01:21Z

Basement Rosechus

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:01, 14 January 2026
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	{{main\|Basement Rosechus}}		{{main\|Basement Rosechus}}

	A group of Rosechus found in Alec's basement, malnourished and injured. Many had believed that Chris ~~portrayed them as being~~ raped by Alec, which Chris tried furiously to deny.		A group of Rosechus found in Alec's basement, malnourished and injured. Many had believed that Chris was implying that they were raped by Alec, which Chris tried furiously to deny.

	===Inos===		===Inos===

Hurtful Truth Level: /* Dr. Bill Schwartz (Bill the Scientist) */ this seems like a stretch

2026-01-03T11:19:57Z

Dr. Bill Schwartz (Bill the Scientist): this seems like a stretch

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:19, 3 January 2026
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	=== Dr. Bill Schwartz (Bill the Scientist) ===		=== Dr. Bill Schwartz (Bill the Scientist) ===
	[[File:Bill1.png\|thumb\|~~<s>Bill Nye the Science Guy</s>~~ Dr. Bill Schwartz, the Scientist.]]		[[File:Bill1.png\|thumb\|Dr. Bill Schwartz, the Scientist.]]
	One of the most popular characters in Sonichu lore ~~(and totally not a {{w\|Bill Nye the Science Guy\|ripoff}})~~, Bill Schwartz, PhD, was a genetics researcher for [[Team Rocket]] during the organization's brief alliance with [[Robotnik\|Ivo Robotnik]]. It was Bill's duty to prepare [[Sonichu (character)\|Sonichu's]] DNA for the cloning machine, but he inadvertently spilled cherry cola into the sample, mutating the chromosomes of [[Blake\|the clone]] until it took on a black color.		One of the most popular characters in Sonichu lore, Bill Schwartz, PhD, was a genetics researcher for [[Team Rocket]] during the organization's brief alliance with [[Robotnik\|Ivo Robotnik]]. It was Bill's duty to prepare [[Sonichu (character)\|Sonichu's]] DNA for the cloning machine, but he inadvertently spilled cherry cola into the sample, mutating the chromosomes of [[Blake\|the clone]] until it took on a black color.

	It was for quite some time canon, that Bill was getting high somewhere on [[the Moon]] together with Chris's other forgotten Sonichu characters, such as the [[Boulder-Dropping Whale]], [[Metal Sonichu]], and [[Yawning Squirtle]], which ended up being the premise for the troll comic, [[Moon-Pals]]. Chris, probably angry about the comic portraying Bill as a stoner, declared this depiction of him invalid on [[Twitter]], saying Bill was still in employ of Giovanni, and would be returning in comic. Bill later appears in [[Sonichu 10]], stating that he [[Chris and English\|stopped working for Giovanny to save lives, and that he hats these bad days]]. Bill later appears, along with [[Kel]] and [[Allison Amber]], to execute Sean for his tenuously defined crimes against CWCville.		It was for quite some time canon, that Bill was getting high somewhere on [[the Moon]] together with Chris's other forgotten Sonichu characters, such as the [[Boulder-Dropping Whale]], [[Metal Sonichu]], and [[Yawning Squirtle]], which ended up being the premise for the troll comic, [[Moon-Pals]]. Chris, probably angry about the comic portraying Bill as a stoner, declared this depiction of him invalid on [[Twitter]], saying Bill was still in employ of Giovanni, and would be returning in comic. Bill later appears in [[Sonichu 10]], stating that he [[Chris and English\|stopped working for Giovanny to save lives, and that he hats these bad days]]. Bill later appears, along with [[Kel]] and [[Allison Amber]], to execute Sean for his tenuously defined crimes against CWCville.

HurdyGurdsen at 00:04, 11 December 2025

2025-12-11T00:04:27Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:04, 10 December 2025
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	[[File:Iamnotretarded.jpg\|thumb\|Yeah. Just keep telling yourself that, Bubbles.]]		[[File:Iamnotretarded.jpg\|thumb\|Yeah. Just keep telling yourself that, Bubbles.]]

	The sky-blue recolor and an airheaded slut. According to [[Sonichu 3\|''Sonichu'' #3]], she was raised as a child by a random Swampert who happened to find her. One day, a Boulder-Dropping Whale randomly attacked her mother, and she forced herself to evolve so that she could save her. Some time later, she met the rest of the Combo when they all united under the common goal of beating up a [[~~Niggos~~\|black guy]]. She does nothing for the rest of the comic besides fucking [[Blake]]. She finds a [[Sonichu Ball]] in [[Sonichu 8\|''Sonichu'' #8]], if you can count that as doing something. Oh, and there was one point where she failed to tell the difference between [[Silvana\|a trannie]] and her own boyfriend even when told the answer by a psychic.		The sky-blue recolor and an airheaded slut. According to [[Sonichu 3\|''Sonichu'' #3]], she was raised as a child by a random Swampert who happened to find her. One day, a Boulder-Dropping Whale randomly attacked her mother, and she forced herself to evolve so that she could save her. Some time later, she met the rest of the Combo when they all united under the common goal of beating up a [[Chris and Race#Black_people\|black guy]]. She does nothing for the rest of the comic besides fucking [[Blake]]. She finds a [[Sonichu Ball]] in [[Sonichu 8\|''Sonichu'' #8]], if you can count that as doing something. Oh, and there was one point where she failed to tell the difference between [[Silvana\|a trannie]] and her own boyfriend even when told the answer by a psychic.

	Since everyone saw Bubbles as a stupid whore, she was portrayed as the idiot of the group in the webcomic [[Asperchu]]. Some time later, Christian established on her [[CWCipedia]] article that Bubbles was supposedly a very intelligent girl and had studied with the people of Atlantis. As you would expect, none of this was shown in the comics, and Bubbles still acts like a stupid whore.		Since everyone saw Bubbles as a stupid whore, she was portrayed as the idiot of the group in the webcomic [[Asperchu]]. Some time later, Christian established on her [[CWCipedia]] article that Bubbles was supposedly a very intelligent girl and had studied with the people of Atlantis. As you would expect, none of this was shown in the comics, and Bubbles still acts like a stupid whore.
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	[[Image:SchuFlorence.jpg\|100px\|thumb\|Florance Fisher]]		[[Image:SchuFlorence.jpg\|100px\|thumb\|Florance Fisher]]

	One of the few [[~~Niggos~~\|black]] characters in ''Sonichu'' that isn't evil, although she is extremely peripheral. She is rejected by Reginald Sneasel, mirroring Chris's own refusal to date a black woman. Crudely resembles ''South Park'''s art style, and was probably traced.		One of the few [[Chris and Race#Black_people\|black]] characters in ''Sonichu'' that isn't evil, although she is extremely peripheral. She is rejected by Reginald Sneasel, mirroring Chris's own refusal to date a black woman. Crudely resembles ''South Park'''s art style, and was probably traced.

	===Rita Jackaras===		===Rita Jackaras===
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	Gerald is the white officer, with a strong chin resembling Quagmire of ''[[Family Guy]]''. He takes a [[Pedofork\|particular interest]] in Sonichu's son [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children\|Robbie]].		Gerald is the white officer, with a strong chin resembling Quagmire of ''[[Family Guy]]''. He takes a [[Pedofork\|particular interest]] in Sonichu's son [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children\|Robbie]].

	Louis is the [[~~Niggos~~\|black officer]] - Chris has confirmed that his addition was affirmative action in [[Mailbag_50#And_in_closing...\|Mailbag 50]]. He greets Sonichu with a hearty "MY BRO!" and a fist-bump. Chris is clearly pulling out all the stops to achieve a diverse and nuanced cast. Sonichu in turn inquires about his wife and "[[duck\|little Lou]]"; they are reportedly "just chillin'".		Louis is the [[Chris and Race#Black_people\|black officer]] - Chris has confirmed that his addition was affirmative action in [[Mailbag_50#And_in_closing...\|Mailbag 50]]. He greets Sonichu with a hearty "MY BRO!" and a fist-bump. Chris is clearly pulling out all the stops to achieve a diverse and nuanced cast. Sonichu in turn inquires about his wife and "[[duck\|little Lou]]"; they are reportedly "just chillin'".

	It is worth noting that the office of Constable is no longer used in [[Virginia]], calling into question the legitimacy of their authority.		It is worth noting that the office of Constable is no longer used in [[Virginia]], calling into question the legitimacy of their authority.

Makuchi: /* Black Sonichu/Blachu/Blake */

2025-04-26T08:26:38Z

Black Sonichu/Blachu/Blake

← Older revision		Revision as of 04:26, 26 April 2025
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	[[File:254-BlachuPose.jpg\|thumb\|left\|Doesn't he remind you of [[Shadow the Hedgehog\|someone]]?]]		[[File:254-BlachuPose.jpg\|thumb\|left\|Doesn't he remind you of [[Shadow the Hedgehog\|someone]]?]]

	Also known as "Blachu" and "Blake", Black Sonichu was cloned from samples of Sonichu's [[semen\|DNA]], which Naitsirhc obtained in [[fapcup\|battle]]. Mutated slightly from an accidental cherry cola contamination in the laboratory, the clone grew to have insidious black and red fur, in stark contrast to Sonichu's heroic [[Piss\|urine]]-and-[[~~DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS\|~~feces]] color scheme. Initially, Black Sonichu started out as a lackey for [[Giovanni]], and then later Reldnahc, before finally becoming a watered-down good guy with an attitude when he fell in love with [[Bubbles]]. Black Sonichu was last seen recuperating from his traumatic [[rape]] at the hands of a [[Silvana Rosechu\|hermaphrodite]].		Also known as "Blachu" and "Blake", Black Sonichu was cloned from samples of Sonichu's [[semen\|DNA]], which Naitsirhc obtained in [[fapcup\|battle]]. Mutated slightly from an accidental cherry cola contamination in the laboratory, the clone grew to have insidious black and red fur, in stark contrast to Sonichu's heroic [[Piss\|urine]]-and-[[feces]] color scheme. Initially, Black Sonichu started out as a lackey for [[Giovanni]], and then later Reldnahc, before finally becoming a watered-down good guy with an attitude when he fell in love with [[Bubbles]]. Black Sonichu was last seen recuperating from his traumatic [[rape]] at the hands of a [[Silvana Rosechu\|hermaphrodite]].

	He also has his own superform, in the same vein as [[Ultra Sonichu]], named [[Wall of Originals\|Silver Blachu]]. It is never seen in the comic, though.		He also has his own superform, in the same vein as [[Ultra Sonichu]], named [[Wall of Originals\|Silver Blachu]]. It is never seen in the comic, though.

Net narcolepsy: /* Sonic the Hedgehog */

2024-10-09T03:32:45Z

Sonic the Hedgehog

← Older revision		Revision as of 23:32, 8 October 2024
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	===Sonic the Hedgehog===		===Sonic the Hedgehog===
	{{main\|Sonic the Hedgehog}}		{{main\|Sonic the Hedgehog}}

			[[File:Sanek.png\|left\|thumb\|150px]]

	[[Sega]] mascot and a major example of copyright infringement in the comic. He makes a few appearances in the comic, most notably in the first issue, as he's partly responsible for Sonichu's existence, as described below. He also shows up to help Sonichu again in [[Sonichu 1\|''Sonichu'' #1]], after Rosechu gets kidnapped. [[Women's rights\|Again]].		[[Sega]] mascot and a major example of copyright infringement in the comic. He makes a few appearances in the comic, most notably in the first issue, as he's partly responsible for Sonichu's existence, as described below. He also shows up to help Sonichu again in [[Sonichu 1\|''Sonichu'' #1]], after Rosechu gets kidnapped. [[Women's rights\|Again]].

KingClark at 02:24, 6 July 2023

2023-07-06T02:24:45Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:24, 5 July 2023
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	===Amy Rose===		===Amy Rose===
	{{main\|Amy Rose}}		{{main\|Amy Rose}}
	[[File:Rosechu-AmyRose1.jpg\|200px\|thumb\|'I had no idea that the [[Metal Gear ~~Solid~~\|Les Enfants Terribles Project]] had gone this far!']]		[[File:Rosechu-AmyRose1.jpg\|200px\|thumb\|'I had no idea that the [[Metal Gear\|Les Enfants Terribles Project]] had gone this far!']]

	[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s on-again off-again love interest. Amy Rose in the [[video games]] is a 12-year-old fangirl who has an obsessive crush on Sonic and often pursues him on his adventures to try and get his attention and appreciation.		[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s on-again off-again love interest. Amy Rose in the [[video games]] is a 12-year-old fangirl who has an obsessive crush on Sonic and often pursues him on his adventures to try and get his attention and appreciation.
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	*[[Crass and Champ]] - Ivy's hermit crabs, who are ring bearers		*[[Crass and Champ]] - Ivy's hermit crabs, who are ring bearers
	*'''Canino Houndhowl''' - receptionist for wedding, a creation of [[Megan]] that Chris ripped off		*'''Canino Houndhowl''' - receptionist for wedding, a creation of [[Megan]] that Chris ripped off
	*[[Metal Gear ~~Solid~~\|Gecko and Mantis]], a pair of reptilian bakers		*[[Metal Gear\|Gecko and Mantis]], a pair of reptilian bakers
	*'''Lilith''' - A Meowth who is a bridesmaid		*'''Lilith''' - A Meowth who is a bridesmaid
	*'''Rachel''' - Ivy's best friend, the maid of honor		*'''Rachel''' - Ivy's best friend, the maid of honor

WarnerBro: /* Marvey Blaziken */

2023-04-29T22:51:40Z

Marvey Blaziken

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:51, 29 April 2023
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	===Marvey Blaziken===		===Marvey Blaziken===

	A shameless ripoff of Harvey Birdman, except with a Blaziken instead of a bird. Serves as the Prosecutor for the Asperpedia Four's trial. Marvey is clearly a personification of [[Chris and the ~~Law~~\|Chris's poor understanding of the American legal system]] as he is able to win the case with no evidence beyond "they drew bad comics". He also appears at the end of the comic to be Chris's mouthpiece against fans for having the AUDACITY to want semi-regular updates.		A shameless ripoff of Harvey Birdman, except with a Blaziken instead of a bird. Serves as the Prosecutor for the Asperpedia Four's trial. Marvey is clearly a personification of [[Chris and the law\|Chris's poor understanding of the American legal system]] as he is able to win the case with no evidence beyond "they drew bad comics". He also appears at the end of the comic to be Chris's mouthpiece against fans for having the AUDACITY to want semi-regular updates.

	===Spiny Norman===		===Spiny Norman===

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:42, 19 June 2026
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	[[Image:Boulder Whale.jpg\|160px\|thumb\|left\|The Boulder Dropping Whale's lone appearance in the comic.]]		[[Image:Boulder Whale.jpg\|160px\|thumb\|left\|The Boulder Dropping Whale's lone appearance in the comic.]]
	As the name suggests, Boulder-Dropping Whale is a creature resembling a whale, who literally dropped a boulder. This signature attack was used against the Swampert who raised Bubbles, and would have drowned the Swampert if not for Bubbles's timely intervention. Although never named in the comic, the whale's anonymity and murderous hatred for ''Sonichu'' characters has earned him a cult following among [[trolls\|fans]], who have dubbed him "Boulder-Dropping Whale", or "BDW" for short.		As the name suggests, Boulder-Dropping Whale is a creature resembling a whale, who literally dropped a boulder. This signature attack was used against the Swampert who raised Bubbles, and would have drowned the Swampert if not for Bubbles's timely intervention. Although never named in the comic, the whale's anonymity and seeming murderous hatred for ''Sonichu'' characters has earned him a cult following among [[trolls\|fans]], who have dubbed him "Boulder-Dropping Whale", or "BDW" for short.
	[[Image:Wailord.png\|200px\|thumb\|An actual Wailord.]]		[[Image:Wailord.png\|200px\|thumb\|An actual Wailord.]]
	Originally identified as a common whale in the [[Audiobooks]], Chris stated in [[CWC Blog#12 January 2010\|a blog in January 2010]] that it is a Wailord, a [[Pokémon]] that closely resembles a whale. This makes sense, as Chris always uses Pokémon when drawing background fauna in his comics (probably because he didn't pay attention during any of his biology classes in high school), such as the underwater scene in [[Sonichu 8\|''Sonichu'' #8]] which featured only Pokémon sea creatures, and no naturally occurring wildlife. Further, BDW's trademark attack appears to resemble "Rock Tomb", an attack available to many Pokémon in the video games, including Wailord.		Originally identified as a common whale in the [[Audiobooks]], Chris stated in [[CWC Blog#12 January 2010\|a blog in January 2010]] that it is a Wailord, a [[Pokémon]] that closely resembles a whale. This makes sense, as Chris always uses Pokémon when drawing background fauna in his comics (probably because he didn't pay attention during any of his biology classes in high school), such as the underwater scene in [[Sonichu 8\|''Sonichu'' #8]] which featured only Pokémon sea creatures, and no naturally occurring wildlife. Further, BDW's trademark attack appears to resemble "Rock Tomb", an attack available to many Pokémon in the video games, including Wailord.

← Older revision		Revision as of 04:26, 26 April 2025
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	[[File:254-BlachuPose.jpg\|thumb\|left\|Doesn't he remind you of [[Shadow the Hedgehog\|someone]]?]]		[[File:254-BlachuPose.jpg\|thumb\|left\|Doesn't he remind you of [[Shadow the Hedgehog\|someone]]?]]

	Also known as "Blachu" and "Blake", Black Sonichu was cloned from samples of Sonichu's [[semen\|DNA]], which Naitsirhc obtained in [[fapcup\|battle]]. Mutated slightly from an accidental cherry cola contamination in the laboratory, the clone grew to have insidious black and red fur, in stark contrast to Sonichu's heroic [[Piss\|urine]]-and-[[~~DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS\|~~feces]] color scheme. Initially, Black Sonichu started out as a lackey for [[Giovanni]], and then later Reldnahc, before finally becoming a watered-down good guy with an attitude when he fell in love with [[Bubbles]]. Black Sonichu was last seen recuperating from his traumatic [[rape]] at the hands of a [[Silvana Rosechu\|hermaphrodite]].		Also known as "Blachu" and "Blake", Black Sonichu was cloned from samples of Sonichu's [[semen\|DNA]], which Naitsirhc obtained in [[fapcup\|battle]]. Mutated slightly from an accidental cherry cola contamination in the laboratory, the clone grew to have insidious black and red fur, in stark contrast to Sonichu's heroic [[Piss\|urine]]-and-[[feces]] color scheme. Initially, Black Sonichu started out as a lackey for [[Giovanni]], and then later Reldnahc, before finally becoming a watered-down good guy with an attitude when he fell in love with [[Bubbles]]. Black Sonichu was last seen recuperating from his traumatic [[rape]] at the hands of a [[Silvana Rosechu\|hermaphrodite]].

	He also has his own superform, in the same vein as [[Ultra Sonichu]], named [[Wall of Originals\|Silver Blachu]]. It is never seen in the comic, though.		He also has his own superform, in the same vein as [[Ultra Sonichu]], named [[Wall of Originals\|Silver Blachu]]. It is never seen in the comic, though.