Mailbag 11 - Revision history

Elbow-Greased Strongman: /* Are there any naval bases in Alaska? */ probably could have worded it better, but eh

2025-04-24T21:29:14Z

Are there any naval bases in Alaska?: probably could have worded it better, but eh

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:29, 24 April 2025
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	--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu\|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:34, 9 December 2009 (CET)}}		--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu\|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:34, 9 December 2009 (CET)}}

			''Chris followed the advice years later to [[Chris's Specimen Sample\|disturbing results]].''

	==References==		==References==
	<references/>		<references/>
	{{Mailbag}}		{{Mailbag}}

Yuyuko: Added link for Alan Greenstein — character from a (hilarious) South African novel.

2022-08-05T10:23:34Z

Added link for Alan Greenstein — character from a (hilarious) South African novel.

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:23, 5 August 2022
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	===In which Chris assumes none of us owns dictionaries===		===In which Chris assumes none of us owns dictionaries===
	{{Email\|From: alan greenstein <alanboggogreenstein@gmail.com>		{{Email\|From: {{w\|Spud (novel)\|alan greenstein}} <alanboggogreenstein@gmail.com>
	Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening Mr. Chandler		Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening Mr. Chandler

Superspongebobbros at 18:42, 6 October 2020

2020-10-06T18:42:18Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:42, 6 October 2020
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	=== 15 years cute! ===		=== 15 years cute! ===
	{{Email\|From: ~~[[wikipedia:Paul Bernardo~~\|Paul Bernardo]] <pkbernardo12@gmail.com>		{{Email\|From: {{w\|Paul Bernardo}} <pkbernardo12@gmail.com>
	Dear Chris,		Dear Chris,

	Judging by your response to Levi Johnston, you seem to know a lot much about women, so I thought I would ask for your advice.		Judging by your response to Levi Johnston, you seem to know a lot much about women, so I thought I would ask for your advice.

	I am 26 years old and I have ~~[[wikipedia:~~Karla Homolka\|a beautiful fiancee]], but I can't stop thinking about ~~[[wikipedia:~~Tammy Homolka\|my fiancee's 15-year-old sister]]. I don't know how to bring it up to my fiancee that I want to have sex with her sister...do you have any advice on how to break it to her? I love my fiancee very much, but her sister turns me on so much that it's hard for me to function sometimes. My sexual frustration over being denied underage china is building up, and I fear I might become an [[Megan emails, 2008#Chris continues bothering her about ED\|abusive maniac]] over this. Any advice or help would be appreciated.		I am 26 years old and I have {{w\|Karla Homolka\|a beautiful fiancee}}, but I can't stop thinking about {{w\|Tammy Homolka\|my fiancee's 15-year-old sister}}. I don't know how to bring it up to my fiancee that I want to have sex with her sister...do you have any advice on how to break it to her? I love my fiancee very much, but her sister turns me on so much that it's hard for me to function sometimes. My sexual frustration over being denied underage china is building up, and I fear I might become an [[Megan emails, 2008#Chris continues bothering her about ED\|abusive maniac]] over this. Any advice or help would be appreciated.

	Your fan,		Your fan,
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	===Just plain stupid===		===Just plain stupid===
	{{Email\|From: ~~[[wikipedia:There_Will_Be_Blood~~\|Daniel Plainview]] <how_can_you_be_sure@hotmail.com>		{{Email\|From: {{w\|There Will Be Blood\|Daniel Plainview}} <how_can_you_be_sure@hotmail.com>
	Dear Christian Christopher Ricardo Weston Chandler,		Dear Christian Christopher Ricardo Weston Chandler,

	I have been following your Sweetheart Search for some time, so I am curious to ask you; what would you do if you finally got laid and found out that sexual intercourse isn't nearly as gratifying as you have hyped it up to be for yourself? What if after more than a decade of wondering, hoping, and waiting, you finally meet a nice girl, get to date number three, and are left feeling cold and soulless afterward?		I have been following your Sweetheart Search for some time, so I am curious to ask you; what would you do if you finally got laid and found out that sexual intercourse isn't nearly as gratifying as you have hyped it up to be for yourself? What if after more than a decade of wondering, hoping, and waiting, you finally meet a nice girl, get to date number three, and are left feeling cold and soulless afterward?

	I only ask this because most men get to sate their hormonal urges within a 5 year window after becoming sexually curious (fyi: When I lost my [[virgin]]ity at 16, it was pretty friggin' rad... and actually it's still really rad!), but you've had probably well over a decade to wonder what it would be like... so I can't help but be curious as to whether or not this extended period of time would make having your first sexual encounter to you like watching ~~[[Wikipedia:~~Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace\|Star Wars: Episode I]] was for many of us; not worth the wait.		I only ask this because most men get to sate their hormonal urges within a 5 year window after becoming sexually curious (fyi: When I lost my [[virgin]]ity at 16, it was pretty friggin' rad... and actually it's still really rad!), but you've had probably well over a decade to wonder what it would be like... so I can't help but be curious as to whether or not this extended period of time would make having your first sexual encounter to you like watching {{w\|Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace\|Star Wars: Episode I}} was for many of us; not worth the wait.

	My intentions are not to put you down, I just can't help but wonder if you hadn't ought to reign in your expectations. If you end up not enjoying intercourse with a female, I fear you may turn into one of those dirty homos.... and I couldn't bear that.		My intentions are not to put you down, I just can't help but wonder if you hadn't ought to reign in your expectations. If you end up not enjoying intercourse with a female, I fear you may turn into one of those dirty homos.... and I couldn't bear that.
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	2) Have you considered doing a more scientific "comic"? I thought your "Examining Sonichu and Rosechu" segment was brilliant, and very close to a college-level text book. Maybe doing a similar one on the (physical and mental) human reproductive system would be insightful? If you could make it into a text book (or even a chapter in one), it could be very lucrative since college text books are EXPENSIVE!!!!!!!		2) Have you considered doing a more scientific "comic"? I thought your "Examining Sonichu and Rosechu" segment was brilliant, and very close to a college-level text book. Maybe doing a similar one on the (physical and mental) human reproductive system would be insightful? If you could make it into a text book (or even a chapter in one), it could be very lucrative since college text books are EXPENSIVE!!!!!!!

	One more thing, I know you're a big [[Britney Spears\|Brittney Spears]] fan (as am I!), and I'm wondering what you think of ~~[[Wikipedia:Lady Gaga~~\|Lady Gaga]]? I think she's the best thing since Brittney, and I was wondering if you've heard her music/seen her yet.		One more thing, I know you're a big [[Britney Spears\|Brittney Spears]] fan (as am I!), and I'm wondering what you think of {{w\|Lady Gaga}}? I think she's the best thing since Brittney, and I was wondering if you've heard her music/seen her yet.

	THANKS!		THANKS!
	Herpnatious G Aderp}}		Herpnatious G Aderp}}
	{{EmailReply\|A bunch of times, I don't have a thought that I feel is worthy as a Log, but I type them in as often as I have them. I will take the scientific book under consideration. ~~[[Wikipedia:~~Poker Face (Lady Gaga song)\|"Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my POKER FACE."]] She's okay. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu\|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:57, 9 December 2009 (CET)}}		{{EmailReply\|A bunch of times, I don't have a thought that I feel is worthy as a Log, but I type them in as often as I have them. I will take the scientific book under consideration. {{w\|Poker Face (Lady Gaga song)\|"Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my POKER FACE."}} She's okay. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu\|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:57, 9 December 2009 (CET)}}

	===The difference between rubbery pirates and laconic manchildren===		===The difference between rubbery pirates and laconic manchildren===
	{{Email\|From: [~~[Wikipedia~~:~~Joseph Joestar\|~~Joseph Joestar]] <josephjojojoestar@gmail.com>		{{Email\|From: [https://jojowiki.com/Joseph_Joestar Joseph Joestar] <josephjojojoestar@gmail.com>
	Hey Chris, how's it going? I like the new mailbag thing. It reminds me of the SBS sections from the manga ~~[[Wikipedia:One Piece~~\|One Piece]], where the author answers questions from his fans. Do you read One Piece? Is this where you got the idea for doing a mailbag?		Hey Chris, how's it going? I like the new mailbag thing. It reminds me of the SBS sections from the manga {{w\|One Piece}}, where the author answers questions from his fans. Do you read One Piece? Is this where you got the idea for doing a mailbag?


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	-~~Joseph "[[Wikipedia:~~JoJo's Bizarre Adventure\|JOJO]]" Joestar}}		-{{w\|JoJo's Bizarre Adventure\|Joseph "JOJO" Joestar}}}}
	{{EmailReply\|I see, well at some times, my mind goes blank, so I have to run to the short answer(s). --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu\|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:57, 9 December 2009 (CET)}}		{{EmailReply\|I see, well at some times, my mind goes blank, so I have to run to the short answer(s). --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu\|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:57, 9 December 2009 (CET)}}

Apostrophe: no

2017-05-10T05:14:05Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:14, 10 May 2017
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	Hopefully this has helped you in your quest for your future-daughter Crystal. I sincerely hope you have not already killed the seed that would create her by drinking it.}}		Hopefully this has helped you in your quest for your future-daughter Crystal. I sincerely hope you have not already killed the seed that would create her by drinking it.}}
	{{EmailReply\|Firstly, I thought of the idea myself without external influence. ~~[[Lie\|~~Second, I have stopped doing that over a year ago.]] And the freezing idea has come to mind before, and I will consider it further.		{{EmailReply\|Firstly, I thought of the idea myself without external influence. Second, I have stopped doing that over a year ago. And the freezing idea has come to mind before, and I will consider it further.

	I apologize for putting your message into the reject, but I felt it was not appropriate or cannon to and with the more appropriate letters. Thank you for your input.		I apologize for putting your message into the reject, but I felt it was not appropriate or cannon to and with the more appropriate letters. Thank you for your input.

Monotreme: Added link

2016-07-17T02:35:11Z

Added link

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:35, 16 July 2016
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	I have been reading Sonichu for a while now and have recently seen some of your [[Youtube]] videos. In one video, you explain that you drink your own "[[navy]]" or [[semen]] after you [[Mass debating\|masturbate]] to recycle it. I assume you mean you want to put the sperm that left your body back into your testicles.		I have been reading Sonichu for a while now and have recently seen some of your [[Youtube]] videos. In one video, you explain that you drink your own "[[navy]]" or [[semen]] after you [[Mass debating\|masturbate]] to recycle it. I assume you mean you want to put the sperm that left your body back into your testicles.

	I do not know who told you this was how the human body worked, but this is NOT true. Your digestive system is not at all connected to your reproductive system. When you ingest your semen, it will go straight to your stomach, where the acid in there will KILL all the sperm. Sperm are very fragile and cannot survive for long outside of the protection of your testicles. In fact, the moment sperm exits your body, they are destined to die unless you FREEZE THEM. The heat and power of your stomach acid would definitely kill them.		I do not know who told you this was how the human body worked, but this is NOT true. Your digestive system is not at all connected to your reproductive system. When you ingest your semen, it will go straight to your stomach, where the acid in there will KILL all the sperm. Sperm are very fragile and cannot survive for long outside of the protection of your testicles. In fact, the moment sperm exits your body, they are destined to die unless you [[Chris's Specimen Sample\|FREEZE THEM.]] The heat and power of your stomach acid would definitely kill them.

	If you are truly interested in saving all of your seed for future child bearing, I suggest you put all semen you produce through masturbation into your refrigerator or, even better, your freezer. That way you can later have a doctor put the frozen sperm into your wife.		If you are truly interested in saving all of your seed for future child bearing, I suggest you put all semen you produce through masturbation into your refrigerator or, even better, your freezer. That way you can later have a doctor put the frozen sperm into your wife.

Asperhes at 19:41, 8 December 2015

2015-12-08T19:41:00Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:41, 8 December 2015
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	After answering [[Mailbag 10]], [[Chris]] sent a [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#Mailbag Issue (CCS)\|message to his sysop]], requesting that future mailbags be better screened for letters that could cause [[stress]]. It would appear this request ~~has gone~~ ignored, as '''Mailbag 11''' ~~has~~ no shortage of difficult questions.		After answering [[Mailbag 10]], [[Chris]] sent a [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#Mailbag Issue (CCS)\|message to his sysop]] requesting that future mailbags be better screened for letters that could cause [[stress]]. It would appear this request was ignored, as '''Mailbag 11''' had no shortage of difficult questions.

	Unlike the last few mailbags, only a few of the questions ~~are~~ about [[Homos\|homosexuality]] and [[Aspergers]]. Several people wrote in to ask about the disturbing deaths of [[Ivy]] and [[BILLY MAYS]]. Other highlights ~~include~~ a suggestion that Chris start freezing all his [[navy]], and ~~a letter from~~ a Sunday school teacher ~~with a~~ very literal take on Leviticus.		Unlike the last few mailbags, only a few of the questions were about [[Homos\|homosexuality]] and [[Aspergers]]. Several people wrote in to ask about the disturbing deaths of [[Ivy]] and [[BILLY MAYS]]. Other highlights included a suggestion that Chris start freezing all his [[navy]], and a Sunday school teacher's very literal take on Leviticus.

	==Answered==		==Answered==

Apostrophe: /* Are there any naval bases in Alaska? */

2014-07-29T01:23:57Z

Are there any naval bases in Alaska?

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:23, 28 July 2014
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	Hello Chris-		Hello Chris-

	I have been reading Sonichu for a while now and have recently seen some of your [[Youtube]] videos. In one video, you explain that you drink your own "[[navy]]" or [[semen]] after you [[Mass debating\|masturbate]] to [[recycle]] it. I assume you mean you want to put the sperm that left your body back into your testicles.		I have been reading Sonichu for a while now and have recently seen some of your [[Youtube]] videos. In one video, you explain that you drink your own "[[navy]]" or [[semen]] after you [[Mass debating\|masturbate]] to recycle it. I assume you mean you want to put the sperm that left your body back into your testicles.

	I do not know who told you this was how the human body worked, but this is NOT true. Your digestive system is not at all connected to your reproductive system. When you ingest your semen, it will go straight to your stomach, where the acid in there will KILL all the sperm. Sperm are very fragile and cannot survive for long outside of the protection of your testicles. In fact, the moment sperm exits your body, they are destined to die unless you FREEZE THEM. The heat and power of your stomach acid would definitely kill them.		I do not know who told you this was how the human body worked, but this is NOT true. Your digestive system is not at all connected to your reproductive system. When you ingest your semen, it will go straight to your stomach, where the acid in there will KILL all the sperm. Sperm are very fragile and cannot survive for long outside of the protection of your testicles. In fact, the moment sperm exits your body, they are destined to die unless you FREEZE THEM. The heat and power of your stomach acid would definitely kill them.
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	--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu\|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:34, 9 December 2009 (CET)}}		--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu\|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:34, 9 December 2009 (CET)}}

	==References==		==References==
	<references/>		<references/>
	{{Mailbag}}		{{Mailbag}}

NegaCWC: /* 15 years cute! */

2014-06-07T14:57:15Z

15 years cute!

← Older revision		Revision as of 10:57, 7 June 2014
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	Judging by your response to Levi Johnston, you seem to know a lot much about women, so I thought I would ask for your advice.		Judging by your response to Levi Johnston, you seem to know a lot much about women, so I thought I would ask for your advice.

	I am 26 years old and I have [[wikipedia:Karla Homolka\|a beautiful fiancee]], but I can't stop thinking about [[wikipedia:Tammy Homolka\|my fiancee's 15-year-old sister]]. I don't know how to bring it up to my fiancee that I want to have sex with her sister...do you have any advice on how to break it to her? I love my fiancee very much, but her sister turns me on so much that it's hard for me to function sometimes. My sexual frustration over being denied underage china is building up, and I fear I might become an abusive maniac over this. Any advice or help would be appreciated.		I am 26 years old and I have [[wikipedia:Karla Homolka\|a beautiful fiancee]], but I can't stop thinking about [[wikipedia:Tammy Homolka\|my fiancee's 15-year-old sister]]. I don't know how to bring it up to my fiancee that I want to have sex with her sister...do you have any advice on how to break it to her? I love my fiancee very much, but her sister turns me on so much that it's hard for me to function sometimes. My sexual frustration over being denied underage china is building up, and I fear I might become an [[Megan emails, 2008#Chris continues bothering her about ED\|abusive maniac]] over this. Any advice or help would be appreciated.

	Your fan,		Your fan,

Duncans Construction: /* 15 years cute! */

2012-10-29T21:50:37Z

15 years cute!

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:50, 29 October 2012
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	Judging by your response to Levi Johnston, you seem to know a lot much about women, so I thought I would ask for your advice.		Judging by your response to Levi Johnston, you seem to know a lot much about women, so I thought I would ask for your advice.

	I am 26 years old and I have [[wikipedia:Karla Homolka\|a beautiful fiancee]], but I can't stop thinking about my fiancee's 15-year-old sister. I don't know how to bring it up to my fiancee that I want to have sex with her sister...do you have any advice on how to break it to her? I love my fiancee very much, but her sister turns me on so much that it's hard for me to function sometimes. My sexual frustration over being denied underage china is building up, and I fear I might become an abusive maniac over this. Any advice or help would be appreciated.		I am 26 years old and I have [[wikipedia:Karla Homolka\|a beautiful fiancee]], but I can't stop thinking about [[wikipedia:Tammy Homolka\|my fiancee's 15-year-old sister]]. I don't know how to bring it up to my fiancee that I want to have sex with her sister...do you have any advice on how to break it to her? I love my fiancee very much, but her sister turns me on so much that it's hard for me to function sometimes. My sexual frustration over being denied underage china is building up, and I fear I might become an abusive maniac over this. Any advice or help would be appreciated.

	Your fan,		Your fan,

Eamoo at 18:20, 4 February 2012

2012-02-04T18:20:39Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:20, 4 February 2012
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	--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu\|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:34, 9 December 2009 (CET)}}		--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu\|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:34, 9 December 2009 (CET)}}
			==References==
			<references/>
	{{Mailbag}}		{{Mailbag}}