Mailbag 23 - Revision history

FokkerTISM: /* Attraction locations */

2022-04-02T13:45:27Z

Attraction locations

← Older revision		Revision as of 09:45, 2 April 2022
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	As a frustrated virgin yourself, what advice can you give for coping with such misery?		As a frustrated virgin yourself, what advice can you give for coping with such misery?

	[{{w\|Morrissey\|Steven Patrick Morrissey}}}}		{{w\|Morrissey\|Steven Patrick Morrissey}}}}
	{{EmailReply\|Have you TALKED TO THE WOMEN while you were at the club at all? You will not get anywhere without at least starting small-talk with WOMEN. I highly recommend continuing going out, and TALK TO THE WOMEN; even those who are already taken can help hook you up with SINGLE WOMEN they know. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu\|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:56, 29 December 2009 (CET)}}		{{EmailReply\|Have you TALKED TO THE WOMEN while you were at the club at all? You will not get anywhere without at least starting small-talk with WOMEN. I highly recommend continuing going out, and TALK TO THE WOMEN; even those who are already taken can help hook you up with SINGLE WOMEN they know. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu\|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:56, 29 December 2009 (CET)}}

Superspongebobbros at 21:18, 6 October 2020

2020-10-06T21:18:24Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:18, 6 October 2020
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	===Do what you want ‘cause a pirate is free===		===Do what you want ‘cause a pirate is free===
	[[Image:Chris_the_pirate.jpg\|thumb\|Scourge of the seas]]		[[Image:Chris_the_pirate.jpg\|thumb\|Scourge of the seas]]
	{{Email\|From: ~~[[Wikipedia:Guybrush Threepwood~~\|Guybrush Threepwood]] (m1ghtyp1rate@lucasarts.com)		{{Email\|From: {{w\|Guybrush Threepwood}} (m1ghtyp1rate@lucasarts.com)

	Arrr! Ahoy, Christian! I'm Guybrush Threepwood, mighty pirate! May I ask ye a few questions, me matey?		Arrr! Ahoy, Christian! I'm Guybrush Threepwood, mighty pirate! May I ask ye a few questions, me matey?
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	===Chris the hero===		===Chris the hero===
	{{Email\|From: ~~[[Wikipedia:~~The Fountainhead\|Howard Roark]] (fountainhead3000@hotmail.com)		{{Email\|From: {{w\|The Fountainhead\|Howard Roark}} (fountainhead3000@hotmail.com)

	Hi Chris, I had a quick question about something you said in an earlier mailbag:		Hi Chris, I had a quick question about something you said in an earlier mailbag:
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	Hello, Christian.		Hello, Christian.

	My name is Maria and I am a teacher at the Cantrona County High School in New Mexico. I'm writing you because two of our students are in the hospital after a terrible car accident. They love your comic book and are always talking about Sonichu. When you put up a new page, they print it out and bring it to class for everyone to share. Their names are ~~[[Wikipedia:~~Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold\|Dylan and Erick]], they're both high-functioning autistic children. I'm writing this in hopes that you'll put a little "shout-out" to them in your next comic. Maybe a little sketch with a drawing of them and Sonichu giving his support? I would love to bring that page to them.		My name is Maria and I am a teacher at the Cantrona County High School in New Mexico. I'm writing you because two of our students are in the hospital after a terrible car accident. They love your comic book and are always talking about Sonichu. When you put up a new page, they print it out and bring it to class for everyone to share. Their names are {{w\|Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold\|Dylan and Erick}}, they're both high-functioning autistic children. I'm writing this in hopes that you'll put a little "shout-out" to them in your next comic. Maybe a little sketch with a drawing of them and Sonichu giving his support? I would love to bring that page to them.

	I enclosed a picture of them in case you want to help with this. I know you're a family-man and you understand how much this could mean to them. Imagine if one of the sonic artists drew you a picture when you were a kid, that would be much how they feel!		I enclosed a picture of them in case you want to help with this. I know you're a family-man and you understand how much this could mean to them. Imagine if one of the sonic artists drew you a picture when you were a kid, that would be much how they feel!
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	I'm a virgin and I'm so alone. Let me explain my situation further.		I'm a virgin and I'm so alone. Let me explain my situation further.

	I've waited twenty years, seven months and twenty-seven days, yet I've never had no-one ever. There's a club where I like to go ... so I go and stand on my own, and I leave on my own and I go home and I cry and I want to die. ~~[[Wikipedia:~~How Soon is Now?\|I am human and I need to be loved - just like everybody else does]]. I've seen this happen in other people's lives, and now it's happening in mine. ~~[[Wikipedia:~~This Charming Man\|Will nature make a man of me yet?]]		I've waited twenty years, seven months and twenty-seven days, yet I've never had no-one ever. There's a club where I like to go ... so I go and stand on my own, and I leave on my own and I go home and I cry and I want to die. {{w\|How Soon is Now?\|I am human and I need to be loved - just like everybody else does}}. I've seen this happen in other people's lives, and now it's happening in mine. {{w\|This Charming Man\|Will nature make a man of me yet?}}

	As a frustrated virgin yourself, what advice can you give for coping with such misery?		As a frustrated virgin yourself, what advice can you give for coping with such misery?

	[~~[Wikipedia:~~Morrissey\|Steven Patrick Morrissey]]}}		[{{w\|Morrissey\|Steven Patrick Morrissey}}}}
	{{EmailReply\|Have you TALKED TO THE WOMEN while you were at the club at all? You will not get anywhere without at least starting small-talk with WOMEN. I highly recommend continuing going out, and TALK TO THE WOMEN; even those who are already taken can help hook you up with SINGLE WOMEN they know. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu\|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:56, 29 December 2009 (CET)}}		{{EmailReply\|Have you TALKED TO THE WOMEN while you were at the club at all? You will not get anywhere without at least starting small-talk with WOMEN. I highly recommend continuing going out, and TALK TO THE WOMEN; even those who are already taken can help hook you up with SINGLE WOMEN they know. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu\|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:56, 29 December 2009 (CET)}}

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	===Basic language===		===Basic language===
	{{Email\|From: ~~[[Wikipedia:~~Mega Man (original series)\|Thomas Light]] <robotmaster18@yahoo.com>		{{Email\|From: {{w\|Mega Man (original series)\|Thomas Light}} <robotmaster18@yahoo.com>
	Dear Christian Weston Chandler,		Dear Christian Weston Chandler,

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	Your friend		Your friend
	- ~~[[Wikipedia:~~ Puyo Puyo\|Nasu Grave]]!}}		- {{w\|Puyo Puyo\|Nasu Grave}}!}}
	{{EmailReply\|1) "[[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]]" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate. 2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities. 3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again. 4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust. 5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu\|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:56, 29 December 2009 (CET)}}		{{EmailReply\|1) "[[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]]" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate. 2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities. 3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again. 4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust. 5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu\|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:56, 29 December 2009 (CET)}}

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	{{Email\|From: Ohni Pasilius <ohnipasilius@gmail.com>		{{Email\|From: Ohni Pasilius <ohnipasilius@gmail.com>
	Hi Chris! Thank you for your kind reply to my previous mail regarding homos.		Hi Chris! Thank you for your kind reply to my previous mail regarding homos.
	I was surprised that you were against exterminating them, as that would be the most cost effective way to get rid of them. However, I have came up with another idea, wich ''[sic]'' you might like. All homos could be put into strictly controlled camps, where they could be used as free labor in such places as mines etc. Hard working would surely make them forget their DISGUSTING lifestyle. [[~~Wikipedia:Arbeit macht frei~~\|Arbeicht macht frei]], as the saying goes.		I was surprised that you were against exterminating them, as that would be the most cost effective way to get rid of them. However, I have came up with another idea, wich ''[sic]'' you might like. All homos could be put into strictly controlled camps, where they could be used as free labor in such places as mines etc. Hard working would surely make them forget their DISGUSTING lifestyle. [[Nazis\|Arbeicht macht frei]], as the saying goes.

	Would you consider using this method in CWCville, if scientists fail to cure homos using your blood?}}		Would you consider using this method in CWCville, if scientists fail to cure homos using your blood?}}

Darkbind at 06:20, 2 September 2016

2016-09-02T06:20:06Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:20, 2 September 2016
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	===Do what you want ‘cause a pirate is free===		===Do what you want ‘cause a pirate is free===
	[[Image:Chris_the_pirate.jpg\|thumb\|Scourge of the seas]]		[[Image:Chris_the_pirate.jpg\|thumb\|Scourge of the seas]]
	{{Email\|From: [[Wikipedia:~~Monkey Island (series)~~\|Guybrush Threepwood]] (m1ghtyp1rate@lucasarts.com)		{{Email\|From: [[Wikipedia:Guybrush Threepwood\|Guybrush Threepwood]] (m1ghtyp1rate@lucasarts.com)

	Arrr! Ahoy, Christian! I'm Guybrush Threepwood, mighty pirate! May I ask ye a few questions, me matey?		Arrr! Ahoy, Christian! I'm Guybrush Threepwood, mighty pirate! May I ask ye a few questions, me matey?

The cosmos: add [sic] to "wich"

2016-05-26T19:06:02Z

add [sic] to "wich"

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:06, 26 May 2016
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	{{Email\|From: Ohni Pasilius <ohnipasilius@gmail.com>		{{Email\|From: Ohni Pasilius <ohnipasilius@gmail.com>
	Hi Chris! Thank you for your kind reply to my previous mail regarding homos.		Hi Chris! Thank you for your kind reply to my previous mail regarding homos.
	I was surprised that you were against exterminating them, as that would be the most cost effective way to get rid of them. However, I have came up with another idea, wich you might like. All homos could be put into strictly controlled camps, where they could be used as free labor in such places as mines etc. Hard working would surely make them forget their DISGUSTING lifestyle. [[Wikipedia:Arbeit macht frei\|Arbeicht macht frei]], as the saying goes.		I was surprised that you were against exterminating them, as that would be the most cost effective way to get rid of them. However, I have came up with another idea, wich ''[sic]'' you might like. All homos could be put into strictly controlled camps, where they could be used as free labor in such places as mines etc. Hard working would surely make them forget their DISGUSTING lifestyle. [[Wikipedia:Arbeit macht frei\|Arbeicht macht frei]], as the saying goes.

	Would you consider using this method in CWCville, if scientists fail to cure homos using your blood?}}		Would you consider using this method in CWCville, if scientists fail to cure homos using your blood?}}

Asperhes at 19:55, 8 December 2015

2015-12-08T19:55:15Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:55, 8 December 2015
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	'''Mailbag 23''' was posted to the [[CWCipedia]] on 23 [[December 2009]]. Despite [[Chris]]'s recent habit of updating almost daily, he waited up to 28 [[December 2009]] to answer this [[mailbag]].		'''Mailbag 23''' was posted to the [[CWCipedia]] on 23 [[December 2009]]. Despite [[Chris]]'s recent habit of updating almost daily, he waited up to 28 [[December 2009]] to answer this [[mailbag]].

	This mailbag ~~marks~~ the return of Chris's willingness to actually ~~change~~ what other people ~~have~~ written to suit his personal preferences~~, and what is perhaps the strongest comeback of it yet~~. Chris heavily altered [[Mailbag 23#In which Chris goes nuts\|one letter]] to the point where it was virtually unrecognizable (not to mention unreadable). He kept a copy of the original letter in the rejected mailbag. Chris also ~~lists~~ several magic spells that he ~~wishes~~ he could perform, including "Hono" (a homo eradicator) and "Come to me, my Women" (a virginity eradicator).		This mailbag marked the strong return of Chris's willingness to actually edit what other people had written to suit his personal preferences. Chris heavily altered [[Mailbag 23#In which Chris goes nuts\|one letter]] to the point where it was virtually unrecognizable (not to mention unreadable). He kept a copy of the original letter in the rejected mailbag. Chris also listed several magic spells that he wished he could perform, including "Hono" (a homo eradicator) and "Come to me, my Women" (a virginity eradicator).

	==Answered==		==Answered==

Asperhes: /* PETA sucks */

2015-04-12T02:36:30Z

PETA sucks

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:36, 11 April 2015
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	Being such a big inspiration to the autistic community I wanted to know if you had heard the news that scientists have found the cause of autism.		Being such a big inspiration to the autistic community I wanted to know if you had heard the news that scientists have found the cause of autism.

	http://www.peta.org/feat_autism.asp		<nowiki>http://www.peta.org/feat_autism.asp</nowiki>

	As that article clearly states a direct link has been found between dairy milk and autism. It has also been shown that removal of milk from the diet of autistic children improved symptoms. I was wondering what you think of this new discovery? I for one am excited because now that we have isolated the cause of autism we can begin working on a cure.}}		As that article clearly states a direct link has been found between dairy milk and autism. It has also been shown that removal of milk from the diet of autistic children improved symptoms. I was wondering what you think of this new discovery? I for one am excited because now that we have isolated the cause of autism we can begin working on a cure.}}

ShotgunJones: /* In which Chris goes nuts UNCUT */

2012-07-05T15:55:49Z

In which Chris goes nuts UNCUT

← Older revision		Revision as of 11:55, 5 July 2012
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	Ray Garrity		Ray Garrity

	P.S. - About Sonichu: I love it. The whole homosexual subtext in parodying the suggar-filled, merchandise driven world of childrens comic is brilliant. The way		P.S. - About Sonichu: I love it. The whole homosexual subtext in parodying the suggar-filled, merchandise driven world of childrens comic is brilliant. The way you portray the protagonist as a self hating homo trapped into a marriage so that he doesn't give in to his desires is pure genius. I hope in the end he ends up
	=you portray the protagonist as a self hating homo trapped into a marriage so that he doesn't give in to his desires is pure genius. I hope in the end he ends up
	with [[Magi-chan]]. The whole "Opposites Atract" has been done ad nauseum, so I don't want the Sonichu-[[Blake]] ending that most of your fanbase expects.<br>		with [[Magi-chan]]. The whole "Opposites Atract" has been done ad nauseum, so I don't want the Sonichu-[[Blake]] ending that most of your fanbase expects.<br>
	P.P.S.- Also, the gay rights ads: Thank you for using your talent and fame for keeping the cause alive. Soon we are going to be able to get married EVERYWHERE!}}		P.P.S.- Also, the gay rights ads: Thank you for using your talent and fame for keeping the cause alive. Soon we are going to be able to get married EVERYWHERE!}}

Trombonista at 19:42, 16 December 2011

2011-12-16T19:42:53Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:42, 16 December 2011
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	===Chris on bisexuals===		===Chris on bisexuals===
	{{Email\|From: metricinchworm69@aim.com		{{Email\|From: metricinchworm69@aim.com
	Firstly, I'd like to wish you a merry Christmas, Mr. Chandler. Secondly, I'd like some advice. I am a guy, and I hang out with my best friend, who is also a guy and very religious, pretty frequently. A few days ago, we got into an argument over gay rights. I believed that people should have the freedom to pick who they want to be with and shouldn't have anyone else tell them otherwise, he said that homosexuality is a sin, and that it's satan's way of tempting people. At that point, I told him that he shouldn't be condemning something he doesn't understand. I was wrong. He confessed to me that he was attracted to guys AND girls. He kept it a huge secret, and he believes that it's just the devil tempting him. That's why he hates gays so much, because he's one, too, and he's not comfortable with it. What should I do? Should I hang out with him less? Should I tell him that God made him that way and that he should embrace it? He's never been very successful with girls, so I just don't know what to do... }}		Firstly, I'd like to wish you a merry Christmas, Mr. Chandler. Secondly, I'd like some advice. I am a guy, and I hang out with my best friend, who is also a guy and very religious, pretty frequently. A few days ago, we got into an argument over gay rights. I believed that people should have the freedom to pick who they want to be with and shouldn't have anyone else tell them otherwise, he said that homosexuality is a sin, and that it's satan's way of tempting people. At that point, I told him that he shouldn't be condemning something he doesn't understand. I was wrong. He confessed to me that he was attracted to guys AND girls. He kept it a huge secret, and he believes that it's just the devil tempting him. That's why he hates gays so much, because he's one, too, and he's not comfortable with it. What should I do? Should I hang out with him less? Should I tell him that God made him that way and that he should embrace it? He's never been very successful with girls, so I just don't know what to do...}}
	{{EmailReply\|You, sir, should ACCEPT HIM for his choices and decisions. I agree with him TO THE FULLEST. DO NOT ENCOURAGE HIM TOWARDS the damn homosexual lifestyle anymore. You may continue being his friend, BUT NOTHING FURTHER.		{{EmailReply\|You, sir, should ACCEPT HIM for his choices and decisions. I agree with him TO THE FULLEST. DO NOT ENCOURAGE HIM TOWARDS the damn homosexual lifestyle anymore. You may continue being his friend, BUT NOTHING FURTHER.

Giantgroundsloth at 16:49, 14 December 2011

2011-12-14T16:49:29Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 12:49, 14 December 2011
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	I'm a virgin and I'm so alone. Let me explain my situation further.		I'm a virgin and I'm so alone. Let me explain my situation further.

	I've waited twenty years, seven months and twenty-seven days, yet I've never had no-one ever. There's a club where I like to go ... so I go and stand on my own, and I leave on my own and I go home and I cry and I want to die. [[Wikipedia:How Soon is Now?\|I am human and I need to be loved - just like everybody else does]]. I've seen this happen in other people's lives, and now it's happening in mine. Will nature make a man of me yet?		I've waited twenty years, seven months and twenty-seven days, yet I've never had no-one ever. There's a club where I like to go ... so I go and stand on my own, and I leave on my own and I go home and I cry and I want to die. [[Wikipedia:How Soon is Now?\|I am human and I need to be loved - just like everybody else does]]. I've seen this happen in other people's lives, and now it's happening in mine. [[Wikipedia:This Charming Man\|Will nature make a man of me yet?]]

	As a frustrated virgin yourself, what advice can you give for coping with such misery?		As a frustrated virgin yourself, what advice can you give for coping with such misery?

Trombonista at 17:20, 3 November 2011

2011-11-03T17:20:43Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:20, 3 November 2011
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	[[Wikipedia:Morrissey\|Steven Patrick Morrissey]]}}		[[Wikipedia:Morrissey\|Steven Patrick Morrissey]]}}
	{{EmailReply\|Have you TALKED TO THE WOMEN while you were at the club at all? You will not get anywhere without at least starting small-talk with WOMEN. I highly recommend continuing going out, and TALK TO THE WOMEN; even those who are already taken can help hook you up with SINGLE WOMEN they know. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu\|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:56, 29 December 2009 (CET)}}		{{EmailReply\|Have you TALKED TO THE WOMEN while you were at the club at all? You will not get anywhere without at least starting small-talk with WOMEN. I highly recommend continuing going out, and TALK TO THE WOMEN; even those who are already taken can help hook you up with SINGLE WOMEN they know. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu\|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:56, 29 December 2009 (CET)}}

	===In which Chris honestly thinks he's in contact with Seth MacFarlane===		===In which Chris honestly thinks he's in contact with Seth MacFarlane===
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	Your friend		Your friend
	- [[Wikipedia: Puyo Puyo\|Nasu Grave]]!}}		- [[Wikipedia: Puyo Puyo\|Nasu Grave]]!}}
	{{EmailReply\|1) "[[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]]" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate. 2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities. 3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again. 4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust. 5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu\|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:56, 29 December 2009 (CET)}}		{{EmailReply\|1) "[[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]]" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate. 2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities. 3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again. 4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust. 5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu\|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:56, 29 December 2009 (CET)}}

	===Chris on bisexuals===		===Chris on bisexuals===
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	P.S. - About Sonichu: I love it. The whole homosexual subtext in parodying the suggar-filled, merchandise driven world of childrens comic is brilliant. The way		P.S. - About Sonichu: I love it. The whole homosexual subtext in parodying the suggar-filled, merchandise driven world of childrens comic is brilliant. The way
	you portray the protagonist as a self hating homo trapped into a marriage so that he doesn't give in to his desires is pure genius. I hope in the end he ends up		=you portray the protagonist as a self hating homo trapped into a marriage so that he doesn't give in to his desires is pure genius. I hope in the end he ends up
	with [[Magi-chan]]. The whole "Opposites Atract" has been done ad nauseum, so I don't want the Sonichu-[[Blake]] ending that most of your fanbase expects.<br>		with [[Magi-chan]]. The whole "Opposites Atract" has been done ad nauseum, so I don't want the Sonichu-[[Blake]] ending that most of your fanbase expects.<br>
	P.P.S.- Also, the gay rights ads: Thank you for using your talent and fame for keeping the cause alive. Soon we are going to be able to get married EVERYWHERE!}}		P.P.S.- Also, the gay rights ads: Thank you for using your talent and fame for keeping the cause alive. Soon we are going to be able to get married EVERYWHERE!}}