Relics of Fail - Revision history

Cottonmather: /* Transgender */

2025-11-15T09:45:49Z

Transgender

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:45, 15 November 2025
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	* [[Muscle bra\|Muscle Bra]] - A bra that Chris wears to keep his [[manboobs]] in check. He believes that everyone will be turned [[Homos\|gay]] if they don't wear one, too.		* [[Muscle bra\|Muscle Bra]] - A bra that Chris wears to keep his [[manboobs]] in check. He believes that everyone will be turned [[Homos\|gay]] if they don't wear one, too.
	* [[July_2016_Facebook_posts#Christine.27s_Driver.27s_License_and_Woman.27s_Card\|Hillary Clinton Woman card]] - A card Chris uses to prove that he is, in fact, a woman.		* [[July_2016_Facebook_posts#Christine.27s_Driver.27s_License_and_Woman.27s_Card\|Hillary Clinton Woman card]] - A card Chris uses to prove that he is, in fact, a woman.
	* [[Plush Breasts]] - A pair of fake breasts often seen in his videos, possibly used as a sign of heterosexual virility and as a [[mass debating]] tool. Later worn by Chris during his time as a [[Tomgirl]].		* [[Plush Breasts]] - A pair of fake breasts often seen in his classic videos, possibly used as a sign of heterosexual virility and as a [[mass debating]] tool. Later worn by Chris during his time as a [[Tomgirl]].

	==Defense==		==Defense==

Cottonmather: Moved Plush Breasts to Transgender category as Chris notably wore them as fake breasts during his time as a tomgirl.

2025-11-15T09:45:19Z

Moved Plush Breasts to Transgender category as Chris notably wore them as fake breasts during his time as a tomgirl.

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:45, 15 November 2025
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	* [[Fapcup]] - A plastic cup used by Chris to collect his [[semen]] for [[recycling]].		* [[Fapcup]] - A plastic cup used by Chris to collect his [[semen]] for [[recycling]].
	* [[Megatron pistol\|Megatron Pistol]] - A toy handgun Chris uses to [[Death threats\|threaten]] his most hated [[trolls\|foes]].		* [[Megatron pistol\|Megatron Pistol]] - A toy handgun Chris uses to [[Death threats\|threaten]] his most hated [[trolls\|foes]].
	* [[Plush Breasts]] - A pair of fake breasts often seen in his videos, possibly used as a sign of heterosexual virility and as a [[mass debating]] tool.
	* [[List of toys\|Other miscellaneous toys]] - Too many to count; can be seen in Chris's videos and photographs cluttering all over his room. The most notable ones have been listed in this article.		* [[List of toys\|Other miscellaneous toys]] - Too many to count; can be seen in Chris's videos and photographs cluttering all over his room. The most notable ones have been listed in this article.
	* [[Sex toys]] - Lots and lots of sex toys, including sex dolls, a vibrator, a dildo, a penis pump, a [[Un-clit\|strap]] from the dildo, anal beads, cock rings and two Fleshlights.		* [[Sex toys]] - Lots and lots of sex toys, including sex dolls, a vibrator, a dildo, a penis pump, a [[Un-clit\|strap]] from the dildo, anal beads, cock rings and two Fleshlights.
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	* [[Muscle bra\|Muscle Bra]] - A bra that Chris wears to keep his [[manboobs]] in check. He believes that everyone will be turned [[Homos\|gay]] if they don't wear one, too.		* [[Muscle bra\|Muscle Bra]] - A bra that Chris wears to keep his [[manboobs]] in check. He believes that everyone will be turned [[Homos\|gay]] if they don't wear one, too.
	* [[July_2016_Facebook_posts#Christine.27s_Driver.27s_License_and_Woman.27s_Card\|Hillary Clinton Woman card]] - A card Chris uses to prove that he is, in fact, a woman.		* [[July_2016_Facebook_posts#Christine.27s_Driver.27s_License_and_Woman.27s_Card\|Hillary Clinton Woman card]] - A card Chris uses to prove that he is, in fact, a woman.
			* [[Plush Breasts]] - A pair of fake breasts often seen in his videos, possibly used as a sign of heterosexual virility and as a [[mass debating]] tool. Later worn by Chris during his time as a [[Tomgirl]].

	==Defense==		==Defense==

Cottonmather: Moved Unicorn Cosplay to apparel since Chris doesn't seem to see it as related to being a woman in any significant way, unlike the Muscle Bra.

2025-11-15T09:42:08Z

Moved Unicorn Cosplay to apparel since Chris doesn't seem to see it as related to being a woman in any significant way, unlike the Muscle Bra.

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:42, 15 November 2025
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	* [[Magic stones]] - Chris owns some quartz crystals which he can store energy in and get more energy out from.		* [[Magic stones]] - Chris owns some quartz crystals which he can store energy in and get more energy out from.
	* [[Chris_and_fashion#Custom-painted_shoes\|Sonichu Shoes]] - Chris' shoes that are painted with Sonichu colours, Jacob Sockness purchased the first pair when they were worn out.		* [[Chris_and_fashion#Custom-painted_shoes\|Sonichu Shoes]] - Chris' shoes that are painted with Sonichu colours, Jacob Sockness purchased the first pair when they were worn out.
			* [[Unicorn cosplay]] - A set of unicorn ears, a horn, and a tail that Chris got at [[BronyCon]] 2017. Chris has since worn these accessories outdoors, and even to church, where he was asked to remove it.

	==Gadgets==		==Gadgets==
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	* Samples of Chris's [[Semen]] - a video that was uploaded on 26 February 2016 reveals that Chris has been saving samples of his semen and storing them in his home fridge.<ref>[[Chris's Specimen Sample]]</ref> In the video Chris showed two samples of semen, one that was produced recently and another one from 18 May 2015.		* Samples of Chris's [[Semen]] - a video that was uploaded on 26 February 2016 reveals that Chris has been saving samples of his semen and storing them in his home fridge.<ref>[[Chris's Specimen Sample]]</ref> In the video Chris showed two samples of semen, one that was produced recently and another one from 18 May 2015.
	* [[Muscle bra\|Muscle Bra]] - A bra that Chris wears to keep his [[manboobs]] in check. He believes that everyone will be turned [[Homos\|gay]] if they don't wear one, too.		* [[Muscle bra\|Muscle Bra]] - A bra that Chris wears to keep his [[manboobs]] in check. He believes that everyone will be turned [[Homos\|gay]] if they don't wear one, too.
	* [[Unicorn cosplay]] - A set of unicorn ears, a horn, and a tail that Chris got at [[BronyCon]] 2017. Chris has since worn these accessories outdoors, and even to church, where he was asked to remove it.
	* [[July_2016_Facebook_posts#Christine.27s_Driver.27s_License_and_Woman.27s_Card\|Hillary Clinton Woman card]] - A card Chris uses to prove that he is, in fact, a woman.		* [[July_2016_Facebook_posts#Christine.27s_Driver.27s_License_and_Woman.27s_Card\|Hillary Clinton Woman card]] - A card Chris uses to prove that he is, in fact, a woman.

Cottonmather: Removed hormones as a relic because they aren't a specific item, and specific containers of Oestrogel and the like seem to bear no particular importance to Chris. It feels incorrect in the same way listing Fanta as a relic would feel incorrect.

2025-11-15T09:40:10Z

Removed hormones as a relic because they aren't a specific item, and specific containers of Oestrogel and the like seem to bear no particular importance to Chris. It feels incorrect in the same way listing Fanta as a relic would feel incorrect.

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:40, 15 November 2025
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	* [[Muscle bra\|Muscle Bra]] - A bra that Chris wears to keep his [[manboobs]] in check. He believes that everyone will be turned [[Homos\|gay]] if they don't wear one, too.		* [[Muscle bra\|Muscle Bra]] - A bra that Chris wears to keep his [[manboobs]] in check. He believes that everyone will be turned [[Homos\|gay]] if they don't wear one, too.
	* [[Unicorn cosplay]] - A set of unicorn ears, a horn, and a tail that Chris got at [[BronyCon]] 2017. Chris has since worn these accessories outdoors, and even to church, where he was asked to remove it.		* [[Unicorn cosplay]] - A set of unicorn ears, a horn, and a tail that Chris got at [[BronyCon]] 2017. Chris has since worn these accessories outdoors, and even to church, where he was asked to remove it.
	* [[Chris_and_health#Hormone_treatment\|Oestrogel/Hormones]] - Chris takes HRT in order to become more womanly.
	* [[July_2016_Facebook_posts#Christine.27s_Driver.27s_License_and_Woman.27s_Card\|Hillary Clinton Woman card]] - A card Chris uses to prove that he is, in fact, a woman.		* [[July_2016_Facebook_posts#Christine.27s_Driver.27s_License_and_Woman.27s_Card\|Hillary Clinton Woman card]] - A card Chris uses to prove that he is, in fact, a woman.

FromtheWordsofBR at 20:09, 17 April 2025

2025-04-17T20:09:29Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman: /* Gadgets */

2024-08-16T22:39:20Z

Gadgets

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:39, 16 August 2024
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	* [[Computers#Laptop_computers\|Gaming Laptop]] - A laptop that Half Life 2 has probably still not been played on.		* [[Computers#Laptop_computers\|Gaming Laptop]] - A laptop that Half Life 2 has probably still not been played on.
	* [[Nintendo\|DSi and 3DS]] - Nintendo handheld consoles that Chris has used for [[Flipnote Hatena]] in the past.		* [[Nintendo\|DSi and 3DS]] - Nintendo handheld consoles that Chris has used for [[Flipnote Hatena]] in the past.
	* [[Commodore 64]] - A very old ~~gaming console~~ that Chris believes he is the goddess equivalent to due to [[Idea Guys]] influence.		* [[Commodore 64]] - A very old home computer that Chris believes he is the goddess equivalent to due to [[Idea Guys]] influence.

	==Art==		==Art==

Amanitie at 19:52, 7 December 2023

2023-12-07T19:52:30Z

Hurtful Truth Level: /* Transgender */

2023-05-09T17:40:04Z

Transgender

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:40, 9 May 2023
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	==Transgender==		==Transgender==
	* The [[Un-clit]] - A piercing on Chris's [[:wikipedia:Perineum\|perineum]] that was made on 15 September 2014. Chris believed that this piece of metal will be useful to him should he engage in [[:wikipedia:tribadism\|tribadism]] with a female.<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref> It later became inflamed, prompting Chris to re-pierce it, and then later on remove it.		* The [[Un-clit]] - A piercing on Chris's [[:wikipedia:Perineum\|perineum]] that was made on 15 September 2014. Chris believed that this piece of metal will be useful to him should he engage in [[:wikipedia:tribadism\|tribadism]] with a female.<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref> It later became inflamed, prompting Chris to re-pierce it, and then later on remove it.
	* Samples of Chris's [[Semen]] - a video that was uploaded on 26 February 2016 reveals that Chris has been saving samples of his semen and storing them in his home fridge.<ref>[[Chris's Specimen Sample]]</ref> In the video Chris showed two samples of semen, one that was produced recently and another one from 18 May 2015.~~<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/gross-dnasicles.17896/#post-1289287</ref>~~		* Samples of Chris's [[Semen]] - a video that was uploaded on 26 February 2016 reveals that Chris has been saving samples of his semen and storing them in his home fridge.<ref>[[Chris's Specimen Sample]]</ref> In the video Chris showed two samples of semen, one that was produced recently and another one from 18 May 2015.
	* [[Muscle bra\|Muscle Bra]] - A bra that Chris wears to keep his [[manboobs]] in check. He believes that everyone will be turned [[Homos\|gay]] if they don't wear one, too.		* [[Muscle bra\|Muscle Bra]] - A bra that Chris wears to keep his [[manboobs]] in check. He believes that everyone will be turned [[Homos\|gay]] if they don't wear one, too.
	* [[Unicorn cosplay]] - A set of unicorn ears, a horn, and a tail that Chris got at [[BronyCon]] 2017. Chris has since worn these accessories outdoors, and even to church, where he was asked to remove it.		* [[Unicorn cosplay]] - A set of unicorn ears, a horn, and a tail that Chris got at [[BronyCon]] 2017. Chris has since worn these accessories outdoors, and even to church, where he was asked to remove it.

Hurtful Truth Level at 06:50, 9 May 2023

2023-05-09T06:50:05Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:50, 9 May 2023
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	{{protip\|Have you "discovered" a new Relic of Fail? Make sure it's considered a relic under the [[Talk:Relics of Fail#A Taxonomy of Fail\|the Taxonomy of Fail]].}}		{{protip\|Have you "discovered" a new Relic of Fail? Make sure it's considered a relic under the [[Talk:Relics of Fail#A Taxonomy of Fail\|the Taxonomy of Fail]].}}

	The '''Relics of Fail''', also known as '''Christorical Artifacts''', are several items that Chris places significant emotional value on. Most of the fates of these relics are unknown following the [[2014 house fire~~\|fire at 14 Branchland Court~~]], but several relics, including the [[Sonic Totem]], the [[Megatron Pistol]] and the [[Crumple-Lope]] are confirmed to have survived, with others likely to have escaped serious damage as well.		The '''Relics of Fail''', also known as '''Christorical Artifacts''', are several items that Chris places significant emotional value on. Most of the fates of these relics are unknown following the [[2014 house fire]] and the aftermath of the [[Jail Saga]], but several relics, including the [[Sonic Totem]], the [[Megatron Pistol]] and the [[Crumple-Lope]] are confirmed to have survived, with others likely to have escaped serious damage as well.

	==Classics==		==Classics==

Hurtful Truth Level: /* Transgender */ not a relic

2023-05-09T06:46:05Z

Transgender: not a relic

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:46, 9 May 2023
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	==Transgender==		==Transgender==
	* The [[Un-clit]] - A piercing on Chris's [[:wikipedia:Perineum\|perineum]] that was made on 15 September 2014. Chris believed that this piece of metal will be useful to him should he engage in [[:wikipedia:tribadism\|tribadism]] with a female.<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref> It later became inflamed, prompting Chris to re-pierce it, and then later on remove it.		* The [[Un-clit]] - A piercing on Chris's [[:wikipedia:Perineum\|perineum]] that was made on 15 September 2014. Chris believed that this piece of metal will be useful to him should he engage in [[:wikipedia:tribadism\|tribadism]] with a female.<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref> It later became inflamed, prompting Chris to re-pierce it, and then later on remove it.
	* The [[self-inflicted taint wound]] - This time, Chris, not content with a mere piercing, took a knife and '''sliced his taint open'''. He then had to be persuaded to get medical care by the very people who troll him.
	* Samples of Chris's [[Semen]] - a video that was uploaded on 26 February 2016 reveals that Chris has been saving samples of his semen and storing them in his home fridge.<ref>[[Chris's Specimen Sample]]</ref> In the video Chris showed two samples of semen, one that was produced recently and another one from 18 May 2015.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/gross-dnasicles.17896/#post-1289287</ref>		* Samples of Chris's [[Semen]] - a video that was uploaded on 26 February 2016 reveals that Chris has been saving samples of his semen and storing them in his home fridge.<ref>[[Chris's Specimen Sample]]</ref> In the video Chris showed two samples of semen, one that was produced recently and another one from 18 May 2015.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/gross-dnasicles.17896/#post-1289287</ref>
	* [[Muscle bra\|Muscle Bra]] - A bra that Chris wears to keep his [[manboobs]] in check. He believes that everyone will be turned [[Homos\|gay]] if they don't wear one, too.		* [[Muscle bra\|Muscle Bra]] - A bra that Chris wears to keep his [[manboobs]] in check. He believes that everyone will be turned [[Homos\|gay]] if they don't wear one, too.

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:09, 17 April 2025
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	==Classics==		==Classics==
	[[Image:Chrischan sonichu medal.jpg\|thumb\|[[Medallions of Fail\|Sonichu medallion, Mark 1]]]]		[[Image:Chrischan sonichu medal.jpg\|thumb\|[[Medallions of Fail\|Sonichu medallion, Mark 1]]]]
	[[Image:TG8.jpg\|thumb\|[[~~Plush Breasts\|~~Plush Breasts]]]]		[[Image:TG8.jpg\|thumb\|[[Plush Breasts]]]]

	* [[The Classic]] - Chris's famous blue, white and red rugby shirt. Formerly thought to have been destroyed during the fire of 2014, Chris later rediscovered it in a damp and grimy bag of clothes. Chris put it up for sale on eBay after "restoring" it by cleaning it and poorly patching it up. Despite these efforts, it was badly damaged beyond repair, and was later presumably thrown out by [[Barb]].		* [[The Classic]] - Chris's famous blue, white and red rugby shirt. Formerly thought to have been destroyed during the fire of 2014, Chris later rediscovered it in a damp and grimy bag of clothes. Chris put it up for sale on eBay after "restoring" it by cleaning it and poorly patching it up. Despite these efforts, it was badly damaged beyond repair, and was later presumably thrown out by [[Barb]].
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	[[Image:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG\|thumb\|[[Son-Chu]]]]		[[Image:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG\|thumb\|[[Son-Chu]]]]

	* [[Attraction Sign]] - A relic of days past when Chris had not yet been told by his mother that soliciting using a sign made him look retarded. Many versions existed, [[Mary Lee Walsh\|most were destroyed]]. The most recent sighting of this to date was at [[Fridays After Five]].		* [[Attraction Sign]] - A relic of days past when Chris had not yet been told by his mother that soliciting using a sign made him look retarded. Many versions existed, [[Mary Lee Walsh\|most were destroyed]]. The most recent sighting of this to date was at [[Fridays After Five]] in [[2010]].
	* [[Heart Torch of Fail\|Heart Torch]] - An odd-looking creation, though more original than most of his works. Born of [[Pixelblocks]], it is used in the comics to summon his twin sister, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)\|Crystal]].		* [[Heart Torch of Fail\|Heart Torch]] - An odd-looking creation, though more original than most of his works. Born of [[Pixelblocks]], it is used in the comics to summon his twin sister, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)\|Crystal]].
	* [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] - A short tract produced by Chris and given as a birthday gift to his [[gal-pal]] [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. The document chronicles the lives of its two title characters and the (almost non-existent) relationship they had while depicting them (and several of their friends and family) as Sonichu characters. The tract's current fate is unknown, although it is more than likely to have been thrown away by Sarah shortly after receiving it.		* [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] - A short tract produced by Chris and given as a birthday gift to his [[gal-pal]] [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. The document chronicles the lives of its two title characters and the (almost non-existent) relationship they had while depicting them (and several of their friends and family) as Sonichu characters. The tract's current fate is unknown, although it is more than likely to have been thrown away by Sarah shortly after receiving it.
	* [[Medallions of Fail\|Medallions]] - Hunks of Crayola-brand modeling clay fashioned into the shape of Sonichu's head, among other characters' heads. Once believed by trolls to be the source of his power, though they were swiftly corrected when Chris began showing off the Amnyfest Ring to show that his videos are true and honest. Chris eventually began production selling new medallions on [[eBay]] in [[2014]].		* [[Medallions of Fail\|Medallions]] - Hunks of Crayola-brand modeling clay fashioned into the shape of Sonichu's head, among other characters' heads. Once believed by trolls to be the source of his power, though they were swiftly corrected when Chris began showing off the Amnyfest Ring to show that his videos are true and honest. Chris eventually began production selling new medallions on [[eBay]] in [[2014]].
	*Letters to sweethearts.		* Letters to sweethearts.
	*[[~~Chris_and_sex~~#Contraceptives\|Condoms]] - Never used correctly, Chris once used one that Mia Hamm purchased.		* [[Chris and sex#Contraceptives\|Condoms]] - Never used correctly, Chris once used one that [[Mia Hamm]], the hooker he lost his virginity to, purchased.
	*[[~~Ohio_trip~~\|Receipts from Ohio trip]] - Chris bought some food from Sonic on the way to Cleveland.		* [[Ohio trip\|Receipts from Ohio trip]] - Chris bought some food from Sonic on the way to Cleveland.

	==Apparel==		==Apparel==
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	* Apple Products - Chris likes Apple, and owns a lot of their products, including (as of 2018) two iPhones, one public and one private.		* Apple Products - Chris likes Apple, and owns a lot of their products, including (as of 2018) two iPhones, one public and one private.
	* [[PSP of Fail\|PSP]] - Yet another drain on Chris's tugboat. He, in typical fashion, decorated it with images of his flagship character and his own face.		* [[PSP of Fail\|PSP]] - Yet another drain on Chris's tugboat. He, in typical fashion, decorated it with images of his flagship character and his own face.
	* [[Christian's Favorite Hits!\|Homemade CDs]] - Chris has made a life out of burning homemade CDs with his own crappy artwork on it. The most notable ones are ''Christian's Favorite Hits!'', which saw the birth of everybody's favorite [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], [[Sonichu (character)\|Sonichu]], and ''[[Three-Quarter Woman]]'', a CD supposedly made for his [[sweetheart]] [[Catherine]], but in reality was [[Chris and his ego\|all about him]].		* [[Christian's Favorite Hits!\|Homemade CDs]] - Chris has made a life out of burning homemade CDs with his own crappy artwork on it. The most notable ones are ''Christian's Favorite Hits!'', which saw the birth of everybody's favorite [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], [[Sonichu (character)\|Sonichu]], and ''[[Three-Quarter Woman]]'', a CD supposedly made for his [[sweetheart]] [[Catherine]], but in reality was [[Chris and his ego\|all about him]]. His other CDs wouldn't have their tracklists publicly released until Chris listed them for sale on [[Cwclight]]. One particularly interesting one is ''Songs Between Friends: A CD for Christian & [[Sarah Hammer\|Sarah]]'', whose existence and date were only previously known by a [[:File:053-SongsBetweenFriendsCD.jpg\|drawing]] from Chris's [[Scrapbook]]; the tracks all consist of late '90s/early '00s teen pop, and Chris's [[So Need a Cute Girl\|own contribution]] to that scene.
	* '''Tracklists to Chris's other ~~homemade~~ CDs'~~'' - Of~~ Chris~~'s CDs, the only ones whose tracklist information is publicly available are ''Christian's Favorite Hits!'' and ''Three-Quarter Woman''~~. ~~Some of these CDs could contain very~~ interesting ~~information, including~~ ''Songs Between Friends: A CD for Christian & [[Sarah Hammer\|Sarah]]''~~. Like the other CDs~~, ~~virtually nothing is known about this disc and its tracklist; its~~ existence and ~~the~~ date ~~in which it was made are attested solely~~ by a [[:File:053-SongsBetweenFriendsCD.jpg\|drawing]] from Chris's [[Scrapbook]].		* [[Pokéwalker of Fail\|Pokéwalker]] - A Pokéball-shaped pedometer originally packaged with the [[Pokémon\|''Pokémon HeartGold'' and ''SoulSilver'']] games, recolored in the image of one of the seven [[Sonichu Balls]].
	* [[Pokéwalker of Fail\|Pokéwalker]] - A Pokéball-shaped pedometer originally packaged with the [[Pokémon\|''Pokémon HeartGold'' and ''SoulSilver'']] ~~versions~~, recolored in the image of one of the seven [[Sonichu Balls]].		* [[Nintendo\|Wiimote]] - Like the PSP and ''Guitar Hero'' controller, this poor Wiimote has been decked out in Sonichu colors and was used in Chris's attempts to get [[Miyamoto]] to make him a video game. Chris later sold the Wiimote and his console altogether in [[2018]].
	* [[Nintendo\|Wiimote]] - Like the PSP and ''Guitar Hero'' controller, this poor Wiimote has been decked out in Sonichu colors and was used in Chris's attempts to get [[Miyamoto]] to make him a video game.
	* [[List of Chris's games\|Various video games]] and their respective consoles - Thousands of dollars have been spent on them, most of it right from the pockets of either his parents, or American taxpayers. Chris one time sold some of those games and consoles to [[Snooky's Pawn Shop]], where they were later obtained by [[Clyde Cash]].		* [[List of Chris's games\|Various video games]] and their respective consoles - Thousands of dollars have been spent on them, most of it right from the pockets of either his parents, or American taxpayers. Chris one time sold some of those games and consoles to [[Snooky's Pawn Shop]], where they were later obtained by [[Clyde Cash]].
	* [[PS4]] - Chris' current main gaming console and is also used to make the majority of his videos.		* [[PS4]] - Chris' current main gaming console and is also used to make the majority of his videos.
	* [[Nintendo Switch]] - Nintendo's latest gaming console, and given to Chris by enablers.		* [[Nintendo Switch]] - Nintendo's latest gaming console, and given to Chris by enablers.
	* [[Xbox One]]		* [[Xbox One]] - A console Chris went from [[HEXBox\|severely hating]] to eventually being okay with.
	* [[Fitbit]] - A gadget to help Chris get healthier.		* [[Fitbit]] - A gadget to help Chris get healthier.
	* [[Computers#Laptop_computers\|Gaming Laptop]] - A laptop that Half Life 2 has probably still not been played on.		* [[Computers#Laptop_computers\|Gaming Laptop]] - A laptop that ''Half-Life 2'' has probably [[Fanmail Reading\|still not been played]] on.
	* [[Nintendo\|DSi and 3DS]] - Nintendo handheld consoles that Chris has used for [[Flipnote Hatena]] in the past.		* [[Nintendo\|DSi and 3DS]] - Nintendo handheld consoles that Chris has used for [[Flipnote Hatena]] in the past.
	* [[Commodore 64]] - A very old home computer that Chris believes he is the goddess equivalent to due to [[Idea Guys]] influence.		* [[Commodore 64]] - A very old home computer that Chris believes he is the goddess equivalent to due to the [[Idea Guys]]'s influence.

	==Art==		==Art==
	* [[Scrapbook of Fail\|Scrapbook]] - A three-ring binder containing all of Chris's comic pages and other drawings.		* [[Scrapbook of Fail\|Scrapbook]] - A three-ring binder containing all of Chris's comic pages and other drawings.
	* The [[Crumple-Lope]] - an envelope residing in the Scrapbook of Fail that stored ~~torn-up remnants~~ of Chris's most-regretted drawings. Even after the 14 Branchland Court fire it still happens to be intact.		* The [[Crumple-Lope]] - an envelope residing in the Scrapbook of Fail that stored some of Chris's most-regretted drawings, including a "torn-up" (actually later found to be neatly cut into squares) [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]. Even after the 14 Branchland Court fire, it still happens to be intact.
	* [[Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail\|Oversized Drinking Straw]] - Even the simple task of drawing a straight line to depict a drinking straw evades Chris.		* [[Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail\|Oversized Drinking Straw]] - Even the simple task of drawing a straight line to depict a drinking straw evades Chris.
	* Original hand drawn copies of Sonichu - That are superior to all forms of digital artwork, since they don't have the original pencil markings. Nobody can copy Chris' hand drawn style, no matter how hard you try.		* Original hand drawn copies of Sonichu - That are [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2\|superior to all forms of digital artwork]], since they don't have the original pencil markings. Nobody can copy Chris' hand drawn style, no matter how hard you try.
	* [[Sonic Totem]] - A demonic looking papier-mâché Sonic that Chris made, and appears in few videos. It has since been [[Sonic Totem and More\|sold]] for $1,500 on [[eBay]].		* [[Sonic Totem]] - A demonic looking papier-mâché Sonic that Chris made, and appears in few videos. It has since been [[Sonic Totem and More\|sold]] for $1,500 on [[eBay]].
	* [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine\|Hand-drawn ''Nintendo Power'' issue]] - A lengthy homemade issue of ''Nintendo Power'', crafted to show Sonic ditching Sega to join [[Nintendo]] and revealing a little bit of what Chris wants in a [[Sonichu (game)\|''Sonichu'' game]].		* [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine\|Hand-drawn ''Nintendo Power'' issue]] - A lengthy homemade issue of ''Nintendo Power'', crafted to show Sonic ditching Sega to join [[Nintendo]] and revealing a little bit of what Chris wants in a [[Sonichu (game)\|''Sonichu'' game]].
	* [[Lego\|Lego figures]] - Chris had created Lego minifigures which are made to look like the people in his life and his original characters.		* [[Lego\|Lego figures]] - Chris had created Lego minifigures which are made to look like the people in his life and his original characters.
	* [[CWC_Lego_Manchester_High_School_Oct_18_2013\|Manchester High school lego building]] - Chris spent many hours creating his high school out of Lego which is estimated to have cost him $1,000 if all of the LEGO sets were purchased at retail price.		* [[CWC_Lego_Manchester_High_School_Oct_18_2013\|Manchester High school lego building]] - Chris spent many hours creating his high school out of Lego, which is estimated to have cost him $1,000 if all of the LEGO sets were purchased at retail price.
	* [[Sonichu_Amiibo\|Amiibo of CWCville characters]] - Chris has modified Amiibos- figures of characters from Nintendo games- to look like his original characters.		* [[Sonichu_Amiibo\|Amiibo of CWCville characters]] - Chris has modified Amiibos- figures of characters from Nintendo games- to look like his original characters.

	==Misc.==		==Misc.==
	* [[Patti Chandler\|Patti's corpse and doghouse]] - Chris's beloved dog who is buried in the Chandlers backyard under her doghouse.		* [[Patti Chandler\|Patti's corpse and doghouse]] - Chris's beloved dog who is buried in the Chandlers' backyard under her doghouse.
	* [[Hair\|Locks of Chris's hair]] - Probably the only Relic to have been obtained by trolls which actually comes from Chris's own body.		* [[Hair\|Locks of Chris's hair]] - Probably the only Relic to have been obtained by trolls which actually comes from Chris's own body.
	* Gift Basket of Fail - In a [[:File:Virginbreaker.png\|private facebook note]], Chris said that he had given a gift basket to the [[Mia Hamm\|woman who took his virginity]]. This relic might not actually exist, as some suspect that "gift basket" is actually a [[CWC-isms\|euphemism]] for [[Chris and sex#Prostitution\|payment given to a prostitute]]. Alternatively, some suspect that Chris had [[List of Chris's lies\|made up]] the story of how he lost his virginity and that it didn't happen at all.		* Gift Basket of Fail - In a [[:File:Virginbreaker.png\|private facebook note]], Chris said that he had given a gift basket to the [[Mia Hamm\|woman who took his virginity]]. This relic might not actually exist, as some suspect that "gift basket" is actually a [[CWC-isms\|euphemism]] for [[Chris and sex#Prostitution\|payment given to a prostitute]]. Alternatively, some suspect that Chris had [[List of Chris's lies\|made up]] the story of how he lost his virginity and that it didn't happen at all.
	* [[September_2013_Facebook_Posts#Voodoo-Wise\|~~Vodoo~~ torture chamber]] Chris used black magic to curse some of the people he didn't like by putting voodoo like effigies in a chamber.		* [[September_2013_Facebook_Posts#Voodoo-Wise\|Voodoo torture chamber]] - Chris used black magic to curse some of the people he didn't like by putting voodoo-like effigies in a chamber.
	* [[Holy Labels]] - Soda labels blessed by Chris and sent to some who wrote him [[Jail letters\|letters in jail]].		* [[Holy Labels]] - Soda labels blessed by Chris and sent to some who wrote him [[Jail letters\|letters in jail]].

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	* [[Unicorn cosplay]] - A set of unicorn ears, a horn, and a tail that Chris got at [[BronyCon]] 2017. Chris has since worn these accessories outdoors, and even to church, where he was asked to remove it.		* [[Unicorn cosplay]] - A set of unicorn ears, a horn, and a tail that Chris got at [[BronyCon]] 2017. Chris has since worn these accessories outdoors, and even to church, where he was asked to remove it.
	* [[Chris_and_health#Hormone_treatment\|Oestrogel/Hormones]] - Chris takes HRT in order to become more womanly.		* [[Chris_and_health#Hormone_treatment\|Oestrogel/Hormones]] - Chris takes HRT in order to become more womanly.
	* [[July_2016_Facebook_posts#Christine.27s_Driver.27s_License_and_Woman.27s_Card\|Hillary Clinton Woman card]] - A card Chris uses to prove that he is- in fact- a woman.		* [[July_2016_Facebook_posts#Christine.27s_Driver.27s_License_and_Woman.27s_Card\|Hillary Clinton Woman card]] - A card Chris uses to prove that he is, in fact, a woman.

	==Defense==		==Defense==

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:52, 7 December 2023
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	{{protip\|Have you "discovered" a new Relic of Fail? Make sure it's considered a relic under the [[Talk:Relics of Fail#A Taxonomy of Fail\|the Taxonomy of Fail]].}}		{{protip\|Have you "discovered" a new Relic of Fail? Make sure it's considered a relic under the [[Talk:Relics of Fail#A Taxonomy of Fail\|the Taxonomy of Fail]].}}

	The '''Relics of Fail''', also known as '''Christorical Artifacts''', are several items that Chris places significant emotional value on. Most of the fates of these relics are unknown following the [[2014 house fire]] and the aftermath of the [[Jail Saga]], but several relics, including the [[Sonic Totem]], the [[Megatron Pistol]] and the [[Crumple-Lope]] are confirmed to have survived, with others likely to have escaped serious damage as well.		The '''Relics of Fail''', also known as '''Christorical Artifacts''', are several items that Chris places significant emotional value on. Most of the fates of these relics are unknown following the [[2014 house fire]] and the aftermath of the [[Jail Saga]], but several relics, including the [[Sonic Totem]], the [[Megatron Pistol]] and the [[Crumple-Lope]] are confirmed to have survived the fire, with others likely to have escaped serious damage as well.

	==Classics==		==Classics==
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	[[Image:TG8.jpg\|thumb\|[[Plush Breasts\|Plush Breasts]]]]		[[Image:TG8.jpg\|thumb\|[[Plush Breasts\|Plush Breasts]]]]

	* [[The Classic]] - Chris's famous blue, white and red rugby shirt. Formerly thought to have been destroyed during the fire of 2014, Chris later rediscovered it in a damp and grimy bag of clothes~~, and~~ put it up for sale on eBay after "restoring" by cleaning it ~~the shirt~~ and poorly patching it up. It was badly damaged beyond repair, and was later presumably thrown out by Barb.		* [[The Classic]] - Chris's famous blue, white and red rugby shirt. Formerly thought to have been destroyed during the fire of 2014, Chris later rediscovered it in a damp and grimy bag of clothes. Chris put it up for sale on eBay after "restoring" it by cleaning it and poorly patching it up. Despite these efforts, it was badly damaged beyond repair, and was later presumably thrown out by [[Barb]].
	* [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)\|''CWC on TV'' DVD]] - A DVD composed of many home videos among other things, such as his [[Song of Christian]].		* [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)\|''CWC on TV'' DVD]] - A DVD composed of many home videos among other things, such as his [[Song of Christian]].
	* [[Gitar of Fail\|Gitar]] - Apparently convinced this counts as a real guitar, Chris is often seen with his beloved ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' controller in attempts to look cool. It invariably has the opposite effect.		* [[Gitar of Fail\|Gitar]] - Apparently convinced this counts as a real guitar, Chris is often seen with his beloved ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' controller in attempts to look cool. It invariably has the opposite effect.
	* [[Pedo-Glasses]] - Have you ever noticed how most [[pedofork\|pedophiles]] and rapists in composite sketches wear these kinds of glasses? Yeah, don't think too hard about that.		* [[Pedo-Glasses]] - Have you ever noticed how most [[pedofork\|pedophiles]] and rapists in composite sketches wear these kinds of glasses? Yeah, don't think too hard about that.
	* [[Son-Chu]] - Chris's beaten old station wagon. Has been replaced four times over the years. Also appears in the comic as one of the [[Samurai Pizza Bots]].		* [[Son-Chu]] - Chris's beaten old station wagon. Has been replaced four times over the years. Also appears in the comic as one of the [[Samurai Pizza Bots]].
	* [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail\|''Sailor Moon'' Poster]] - Chris used this poster to ~~keep himself~~ [[straight]].		* [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail\|''Sailor Moon'' Poster]] - Chris used this poster to stay [[straight]].
	* [[Li'l Chris]] - A stuffed bear created at Create-a-Critter Workshop.		* [[Li'l Chris]] - A stuffed bear created at Create-a-Critter Workshop.
	* [[Clown Doll]] - A harmless-looking clown doll, significant in that it often bears the brunt of Chris's fury in his many rage videos. Its hat was bitten off by him at [[Sign Destruction Video\|one point]].		* [[Clown Doll]] - A harmless-looking clown doll, significant in that it often bears the brunt of Chris's [[Chris and anger\|fury]] in his many rage videos. Its hat was bitten off by him at [[Sign Destruction Video\|one point]].
	* [[Fapcup]] - A plastic cup used by Chris to collect his [[semen]] for [[recycling]].		* [[Fapcup]] - A plastic cup used by Chris to collect his [[semen]] for [[recycling]].
	* [[Megatron pistol\|Megatron Pistol]] - A toy handgun Chris uses to [[Death threats\|threaten]] his most hated [[trolls\|foes]].		* [[Megatron pistol\|Megatron Pistol]] - A toy handgun Chris uses to [[Death threats\|threaten]] his most hated [[trolls\|foes]].
	* [[Plush Breasts]] - A pair of fake breasts often seen in his videos, possibly used as a sign of heterosexual virility and as a [[mass debating]] tool.		* [[Plush Breasts]] - A pair of fake breasts often seen in his videos, possibly used as a sign of heterosexual virility and as a [[mass debating]] tool.
	* [[List of toys\|Other miscellaneous toys]] - Too many to count; can be seen in Chris's videos and photographs cluttering all over his room. The most notable ones have been listed in this article.		* [[List of toys\|Other miscellaneous toys]] - Too many to count; can be seen in Chris's videos and photographs cluttering all over his room. The most notable ones have been listed in this article.
	* [[Sex toys]] - Lots and lots of sex toys, including sex dolls, a vibrator, a dildo, a penis pump, a [[Un-clit\|strap]] from the dildo, anal beads, ~~penis~~ rings and two Fleshlights.		* [[Sex toys]] - Lots and lots of sex toys, including sex dolls, a vibrator, a dildo, a penis pump, a [[Un-clit\|strap]] from the dildo, anal beads, cock rings and two Fleshlights.
	* '''[[Autism papers\|Autism Papers]]''' - Presumably papers detailing Chris's exact psychological diagnosis. While a psychiatric survey from [[2004]] has been procured, the original papers documenting Chris's diagnosis ~~are currently~~ locked away in a filing cabinet in [[Bob Chandler\|Bob's]] room. The papers are currently presumed missing after Bob's death and the house fire of [[2014]].		* '''[[Autism papers\|Autism Papers]]''' - Presumably papers detailing Chris's exact psychological diagnosis. While a psychiatric survey from [[2004]] has been procured, the original papers documenting Chris's diagnosis were locked away in a filing cabinet in [[Bob Chandler\|Bob's]] room. The papers are currently presumed missing after Bob's death and the house fire of [[2014]].
	* '''Transcripts and Report Cards''' - Chris's transcripts and report cards, to verify whether if he was indeed on [[honor roll]] and to what degree his claims about his high school grades are true.		* '''Transcripts and Report Cards''' - Chris's transcripts and report cards, to verify whether if he was indeed on [[honor roll]] and to what degree his claims about his [[Manchester High Leaks\|high school grades]] are true.

	==Love Quest==		==Love Quest==
	[[Image:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG\|thumb\|[[Son-Chu]]]]		[[Image:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG\|thumb\|[[Son-Chu]]]]

	* [[Attraction Sign]] - A relic of days past when Chris had not yet been told by his mother that soliciting using a sign made him look retarded. Many versions existed, [[Mary Lee Walsh\|most were destroyed]]. The most recent ~~sight~~ of this to date was at [[Fridays After Five]].		* [[Attraction Sign]] - A relic of days past when Chris had not yet been told by his mother that soliciting using a sign made him look retarded. Many versions existed, [[Mary Lee Walsh\|most were destroyed]]. The most recent sighting of this to date was at [[Fridays After Five]].
	* [[Heart Torch of Fail\|Heart Torch]] - An odd-looking creation, though more original than most of his works. Born of [[Pixelblocks]], it is used in the comics to summon his twin sister, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)\|Crystal]].		* [[Heart Torch of Fail\|Heart Torch]] - An odd-looking creation, though more original than most of his works. Born of [[Pixelblocks]], it is used in the comics to summon his twin sister, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)\|Crystal]].
	* [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] - A short tract produced by Chris and given as a birthday gift to his [[gal-pal]] [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. The document chronicles the lives of its two title characters and the (almost non-existent) relationship they had while depicting them (and several of their friends and family) as Sonichu characters. The tract's current fate is unknown, although it is more than likely to have been thrown away by Sarah shortly after receiving it.		* [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] - A short tract produced by Chris and given as a birthday gift to his [[gal-pal]] [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. The document chronicles the lives of its two title characters and the (almost non-existent) relationship they had while depicting them (and several of their friends and family) as Sonichu characters. The tract's current fate is unknown, although it is more than likely to have been thrown away by Sarah shortly after receiving it.
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	==Apparel==		==Apparel==
	* [[Amnyfest Ring]] - Since the Sonichu medallions were stolen, Chris has claimed this [[Chris and English\|mysteriously]]-named high school ring is the TRUE source of his power. He has since put the ring up on eBay, claiming his true source of power is within himself.		* [[Amnyfest Ring]] - Since the Sonichu medallions were stolen, Chris has claimed this [[Chris and English\|mysteriously]]-named high school ring is the TRUE source of his power. He has since put the ring up on eBay, claiming his true source of power is within himself.
	* [[Medallions#Sonichu_Medallion\|Sonichu medallion]] - A medallion Chris crafted himself from ~~Crayola Model Magic which~~ used to store his power to transform into Chris ~~Chan~~ Sonichu, before it was revealed that it was actually the above ring.		* [[Medallions#Sonichu_Medallion\|Sonichu medallion]] - A medallion Chris crafted himself from [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!\|CRAYOLA FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC AND ACRYLIC PAINT]]. The medallion used to store his power to transform into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], before it was revealed that it was actually the above ring.
	* [[Anime Wings]] - A pair of women's hairclips that Chris got at [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]]. For some reason, Chris felt the need to incorporate them into his comic.		* [[Anime Wings]] - A pair of women's hairclips that Chris got at [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]]. For some reason, Chris felt the need to incorporate them into his comic.
	* [[Belt Buckle of Fail\|Belt Buckle]] - Not a very well-known relic, but nonetheless extremely amusing.		* [[Belt Buckle of Fail\|Belt Buckle]] - Not a very well-known relic, but nonetheless extremely amusing.
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	* Gift Basket of Fail - In a [[:File:Virginbreaker.png\|private facebook note]], Chris said that he had given a gift basket to the [[Mia Hamm\|woman who took his virginity]]. This relic might not actually exist, as some suspect that "gift basket" is actually a [[CWC-isms\|euphemism]] for [[Chris and sex#Prostitution\|payment given to a prostitute]]. Alternatively, some suspect that Chris had [[List of Chris's lies\|made up]] the story of how he lost his virginity and that it didn't happen at all.		* Gift Basket of Fail - In a [[:File:Virginbreaker.png\|private facebook note]], Chris said that he had given a gift basket to the [[Mia Hamm\|woman who took his virginity]]. This relic might not actually exist, as some suspect that "gift basket" is actually a [[CWC-isms\|euphemism]] for [[Chris and sex#Prostitution\|payment given to a prostitute]]. Alternatively, some suspect that Chris had [[List of Chris's lies\|made up]] the story of how he lost his virginity and that it didn't happen at all.
	* [[September_2013_Facebook_Posts#Voodoo-Wise\|Vodoo torture chamber]] Chris used black magic to curse some of the people he didn't like by putting voodoo like effigies in a chamber.		* [[September_2013_Facebook_Posts#Voodoo-Wise\|Vodoo torture chamber]] Chris used black magic to curse some of the people he didn't like by putting voodoo like effigies in a chamber.
	* [[Holy Labels]] - Soda labels blessed by Chris and ~~set~~ to some who wrote him [[Jail letters\|letters in jail]].		* [[Holy Labels]] - Soda labels blessed by Chris and sent to some who wrote him [[Jail letters\|letters in jail]].

	==Transgender==		==Transgender==