The Hook Cafe - Revision history

HurdyGurdsen at 15:44, 12 December 2025

2025-12-12T15:44:32Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 11:44, 12 December 2025
Line 23:		Line 23:

	===Introduction===		===Introduction===
	I am an [[honest content\|honest]], [[Don't Mess With Me\|compassionate]] [[Megan Saga\|gentleman]], with a good sense of [[CWCFlyingElephants\|humor]]. I am looking for good time(s) with a woman; I'm not getting any younger. I would like a 21-28 year old woman with a pretty face, a sexy slim to [[Obesity\|average body]] and an honest and compassionate personality. Show me your honest and sweet interest and love, and I'll show you a good time. Hit me up with an e-mail with your photo and digits, and I will respond quickly in suit. Smokers, [[Obesity\|overweights]], [[~~Niggos~~\|blacks]] and [[List of Chris's lies\|liars]] need not apply.		I am an [[honest content\|honest]], [[Don't Mess With Me\|compassionate]] [[Megan Saga\|gentleman]], with a good sense of [[CWCFlyingElephants\|humor]]. I am looking for good time(s) with a woman; I'm not getting any younger. I would like a 21-28 year old woman with a pretty face, a sexy slim to [[Obesity\|average body]] and an honest and compassionate personality. Show me your honest and sweet interest and love, and I'll show you a good time. Hit me up with an e-mail with your photo and digits, and I will respond quickly in suit. Smokers, [[Obesity\|overweights]], [[Chris and Race#Black people\|blacks]] and [[List of Chris's lies\|liars]] need not apply.

	===Characteristics===		===Characteristics===

FromtheWordsofBR at 05:28, 5 August 2025

2025-08-05T05:28:12Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:28, 5 August 2025
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	[[Category:Love Quest]]		[[Category:Love Quest]]
	[[Category:~~Websites~~]]		[[Category:Defunct websites]]
	[[Category:Jackie Saga]]		[[Category:Jackie Saga]]

FromtheWordsofBR at 22:43, 19 July 2018

2018-07-19T22:43:43Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:43, 19 July 2018
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	{{taxpayermoney}}		{{taxpayermoney}}

	[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg\|thumb\|Chris's profile image, or what Ash Ketchum would look like if he had grown up to be a [[obesity\|fat]], [[Chris and health\|acne-ridden]], [[homos\|deeply closeted]] [[Chris\|manchild]].]]		[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg\|thumb\|Chris's profile image, or, what [[Pokemon\|Ash Ketchum]] would look like if he had grown up to be a [[obesity\|fat]], [[Chris and health\|acne-ridden]], and [[homos\|deeply closeted]] [[Chris\|manchild]].]]

	'''''The Hook''''' '''Cafe''' was the online personal-ad unit of [[Charlottesville]]'s former local alternative weekly paper, ''[[Wikipedia:The Hook (newspaper)\|The Hook]]''. Some time in early [[2010]], Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the nickname "direct2[[sex]]," declaring that he "Need Sexy Sweets from Woman." A 90-day pass to the site cost [[Chris and money\|$40]], which meant that Chris had to use his [[monthly tugboat]] to put the ad up.		'''''The Hook''''' '''Cafe''' was the online personal-ad unit of [[Charlottesville]]'s former local alternative weekly paper, ''[[Wikipedia:The Hook (newspaper)\|The Hook]]''. Some time in early [[2010]], Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the blunt nickname "direct2[[sex]]," declaring that he "Need Sexy Sweets from Woman." A 90-day pass to the site cost [[Chris and money\|$40]], which meant that Chris had to use his [[monthly tugboat]] to put the ad up.

	The ad was one of the most blatant confirmations that Chris was no longer interested merely in "true love," but was also pursuing the side quest of getting laid. This was not totally unexpected, as many of his followers had always believed that true honest love was merely a ruse to get some [[china]], and that if Chris could get to the [[hanky-panky]] without having to actually care about someone, he would do so in a heartbeat.		The ad was one of the most blatant confirmations that Chris was no longer interested merely in "true love," but was also pursuing the side quest of getting laid. This was not totally unexpected, as many of his followers had always believed that true honest love was merely a ruse to get some [[china]], and that if Chris could get to the [[hanky-panky]] without having to actually care about someone, he would do so in a heartbeat.
Line 23:		Line 23:

	===Introduction===		===Introduction===
	I am an [[honest content\|honest]], [[Don't Mess With Me\|compassionate]] [[Megan Saga\|gentleman]], with a good sense of [[humor]]. I am looking for good time(s) with a woman; I'm not getting any younger. I would like a 21-28 year old woman with a pretty face, a sexy slim to [[Obesity\|average body]] and an honest and compassionate personality. Show me your honest and sweet interest and love, and I'll show you a good time. Hit me up with an e-mail with your photo and digits, and I will respond quickly in suit. Smokers, [[Obesity\|overweights]], [[Niggos\|blacks]] and [[List of Chris's lies\|liars]] need not apply.		I am an [[honest content\|honest]], [[Don't Mess With Me\|compassionate]] [[Megan Saga\|gentleman]], with a good sense of [[CWCFlyingElephants\|humor]]. I am looking for good time(s) with a woman; I'm not getting any younger. I would like a 21-28 year old woman with a pretty face, a sexy slim to [[Obesity\|average body]] and an honest and compassionate personality. Show me your honest and sweet interest and love, and I'll show you a good time. Hit me up with an e-mail with your photo and digits, and I will respond quickly in suit. Smokers, [[Obesity\|overweights]], [[Niggos\|blacks]] and [[List of Chris's lies\|liars]] need not apply.

	===Characteristics===		===Characteristics===

Asperhes: Erroneous information removed. If the website is gone forever, there's no need to keep a "dead links" banner at the top of the page, is there?

2015-12-05T21:11:23Z

Erroneous information removed. If the website is gone forever, there's no need to keep a "dead links" banner at the top of the page, is there?

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:11, 5 December 2015
Line 1:		Line 1:
	{{Articleofthenow}}		{{Articleofthenow}}
	{{taxpayermoney}}		{{taxpayermoney}}
	~~{{DeadLinks}}~~

	[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg\|thumb\|Chris's profile image, or what Ash Ketchum would look like if he had grown up to be a [[obesity\|fat]], [[Chris and health\|acne-ridden]], [[homos\|deeply closeted]] [[Chris\|manchild]].]]		[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg\|thumb\|Chris's profile image, or what Ash Ketchum would look like if he had grown up to be a [[obesity\|fat]], [[Chris and health\|acne-ridden]], [[homos\|deeply closeted]] [[Chris\|manchild]].]]

	'''''The Hook''''' '''Cafe''' was the online personal-ad unit of [[Charlottesville]]'s former local alternative weekly paper ''[[Wikipedia:The Hook (newspaper)\|The Hook]]''. Some time in early [[2010]], Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the nickname "direct2[[sex]]", declaring that he "Need Sexy Sweets from Woman." A 90-day pass to the site cost [[Chris and money\|$40]], which meant that Chris had to use his [[monthly tugboat]] to put the ad up.		'''''The Hook''''' '''Cafe''' was the online personal-ad unit of [[Charlottesville]]'s former local alternative weekly paper, ''[[Wikipedia:The Hook (newspaper)\|The Hook]]''. Some time in early [[2010]], Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the nickname "direct2[[sex]]," declaring that he "Need Sexy Sweets from Woman." A 90-day pass to the site cost [[Chris and money\|$40]], which meant that Chris had to use his [[monthly tugboat]] to put the ad up.

	The ad was one of the most blatant confirmations that Chris is no longer interested in "true love" ~~and~~ was ~~now simply looking to get~~ laid. This is not totally unexpected, as ~~most~~ of his followers ~~have~~ always believed that true honest love was merely a ruse to get some [[china]], and that if Chris ~~[[Madman Rising\|~~could get to the]] [[hanky-panky]] without having to actually care about someone, he would do so in a heartbeat.		The ad was one of the most blatant confirmations that Chris was no longer interested merely in "true love," but was also pursuing the side quest of getting laid. This was not totally unexpected, as many of his followers had always believed that true honest love was merely a ruse to get some [[china]], and that if Chris could get to the [[hanky-panky]] without having to actually care about someone, he would do so in a heartbeat.

	Of note are the differences between this and his previous [[dating profiles]]. By this time, Chris had apparently been making an attempt at being a grown-up, and as a result he neglected to mention ''[[Sonichu]]'', his [[autism]], or the fact he was a 28-year-old [[virgin with rage]]. He also has started to specify a desire for women 21 years ~~or older~~ (but not older than himself, despite his pretty obvious desire for a mother-like mate)~~. In the past, he had been open to the idea of dating an 18-year-old, despite the vast age difference, and really only stopped at that age for [[Pedofork\|legal reasons]]~~.		Of note are the differences between this and his previous [[dating profiles]]. By this time, Chris had apparently been making an attempt at being a grown-up, and as a result he neglected to mention ''[[Sonichu]]'', his [[autism]], or the fact he was a 28-year-old [[virgin with rage]]. He also has started to specify a desire for women at least 21 (as opposed to 18) years old (but not older than himself, despite his pretty obvious desire for a mother-like mate).

	This ~~is also~~ not the first time Chris has posted a personal ad on ''The Hook'' Café. An earlier attempt, ~~where~~ Chris promoted himself as a "Handsome Virgin searching for Woman," ~~fell~~ victim to hackers around ~~the beginning of~~ 2009. Unfortunately, most of its original contents weren't preserved ~~before the trolls gave it a makeover~~. It's the hacked version that's referred to in Chris's [[IRC (20 January 2009)\|20 January 2009 IRC chat]].		This was not the first time Chris has posted a personal ad on ''The Hook'' Café. An earlier attempt, in which Chris had promoted himself as a "Handsome Virgin searching for Woman," had fallen victim to hackers around early 2009. Unfortunately, most of its original contents weren't preserved. It's the hacked version that's referred to in Chris's [[IRC (20 January 2009)\|20 January 2009 IRC chat]].

	Chris was able to solicit the attentions of a young lady named [[Jackie]] on this ~~website~~. ~~After [[Jackie e~~-~~mails\|getting to know him]], she learned to steer clearly away. Long after she stopped responding to his pleas, Chris released [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV\|a video]] in~~ [[~~September 2010~~]] ~~declaring his undying love for her~~.		Chris was able to solicit the attentions of a young lady named [[Jackie]] on this site. Thus began an on-and-off-again relationship lasting until at least [[February 2012]].

	On 9 [[April 2010]], the moderators on the site deleted Chris's profile, possibly due to a flood of fake profiles set up by [[trolls]]. Several troll profiles were also deleted. With the death of this profile, Chris ~~has~~ apparently shifted his efforts back to [[OkCupid]] as his go-to for soliciting sex via the ~~Internet~~.		On 9 [[April 2010]], the moderators on the site deleted Chris's profile, possibly due to a flood of fake profiles set up by [[trolls]]. Several troll profiles were also deleted. With the death of this profile, Chris apparently shifted his efforts back to [[OkCupid]] as his go-to for soliciting sex via the internet.

	On 27 [[December 2011]], ''The Hook'' announced that ~~they were~~ shutting down Café for good on the ~~31st~~. ~~Eventually, the~~ magazine itself went under on 26 [[September 2013]], and was replaced with ''[[C-Ville]] Weekly''~~. Whether or not this was a small nod to Chris has yet to be noticed~~.		On 27 [[December 2011]], ''The Hook'' announced that it was shutting down Café for good at the end of the year. The magazine itself went under on 26 [[September 2013]] and was replaced with ''[[C-Ville]] Weekly''.

	==Ad==		==Ad==
	[[Image:direct2sex.jpg\|thumb\|A screenshot of the ad, as of 5 April 2010.]]		[[Image:direct2sex.jpg\|thumb\|A screenshot of the ad, as of 5 April 2010.]]
	The following is all the information included in the ad. All misspellings or unusual capitalizations are from the original page. The peculiar entry under "Religion" (which lists his affiliation as both "[[Chris and religion\|Methodist]]" and "None") ~~is probably~~ the result of an error Chris made when filling out the form that produced his profile.		The following consists of all the information included in the ad. All misspellings and unusual capitalizations are from the original page. The peculiar entry under "Religion" (which lists his affiliation as both "[[Chris and religion\|Methodist]]" and "None") might be the result of an error Chris made when filling out the form that produced his profile.

	===Introduction===		===Introduction===
Line 108:		Line 107:

	==External links==		==External links==
	*<s>[http://charlottesville.selectalternatives.com/gyrobase/Personals/ ''The Hook'' Café]</s> (defunct)
	*[http://www.readthehook.com/102541/hook-caf-personals-place-closing-1231 Article regarding the Café's shutdown]		*[http://www.readthehook.com/102541/hook-caf-personals-place-closing-1231 Article regarding the Café's shutdown]

Res at 02:15, 22 November 2015

2015-11-22T02:15:55Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:15, 21 November 2015
Line 33:		Line 33:
	Eyes: '''[[Heterochromia\|L=Blue, R=Green]]'''<BR>		Eyes: '''[[Heterochromia\|L=Blue, R=Green]]'''<BR>
	Height: '''5' 10"'''<BR>		Height: '''5' 10"'''<BR>
	Hair Type: '''Brown'''<BR>		Hair Type: '''[[Hair\|Brown]]'''<BR>
	Age: '''28'''<BR>		Age: '''28'''<BR>
	Seeks: [[china\|'''Woman for Dating, Woman for Friendship''']]		Seeks: [[china\|'''Woman for Dating, Woman for Friendship''']]

FromtheWordsofBR at 21:29, 18 February 2015

2015-02-18T21:29:38Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:29, 18 February 2015
Line 5:		Line 5:
	[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg\|thumb\|Chris's profile image, or what Ash Ketchum would look like if he had grown up to be a [[obesity\|fat]], [[Chris and health\|acne-ridden]], [[homos\|deeply closeted]] [[Chris\|manchild]].]]		[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg\|thumb\|Chris's profile image, or what Ash Ketchum would look like if he had grown up to be a [[obesity\|fat]], [[Chris and health\|acne-ridden]], [[homos\|deeply closeted]] [[Chris\|manchild]].]]

	'''''The Hook''''' '''Cafe''' was the online personal-ad unit of [[Charlottesville]]'s former local alternative weekly paper ''[[Wikipedia:The Hook (newspaper)\|The Hook]]''. Some time in early [[2010]], Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the nickname "direct2[[sex]]", declaring that he "Need ~~[[China\|~~Sexy Sweets]] from Woman." A 90-day pass to the site cost [[Chris and money\|$40]], which meant that Chris had to use his [[monthly tugboat]] to put the ad up.		'''''The Hook''''' '''Cafe''' was the online personal-ad unit of [[Charlottesville]]'s former local alternative weekly paper ''[[Wikipedia:The Hook (newspaper)\|The Hook]]''. Some time in early [[2010]], Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the nickname "direct2[[sex]]", declaring that he "Need Sexy Sweets from Woman." A 90-day pass to the site cost [[Chris and money\|$40]], which meant that Chris had to use his [[monthly tugboat]] to put the ad up.

	The ad was one of the most blatant confirmations that Chris is no longer interested in "true love" and was now simply looking to get laid. This is not totally unexpected, as most of his followers have always believed that true honest love was merely a ruse to get some china, and that if Chris [[Madman Rising\|could get to the]] [[hanky-panky]] without having to actually care about someone, he would do so in a heartbeat.		The ad was one of the most blatant confirmations that Chris is no longer interested in "true love" and was now simply looking to get laid. This is not totally unexpected, as most of his followers have always believed that true honest love was merely a ruse to get some [[china]], and that if Chris [[Madman Rising\|could get to the]] [[hanky-panky]] without having to actually care about someone, he would do so in a heartbeat.

	Of note are the differences between this and his previous [[dating profiles]]. By this time, Chris had apparently been making an attempt at being a grown-up, and as a result he neglected to mention ''[[Sonichu]]'', his [[autism]], or the fact he was a 28-year-old [[virgin with rage]]. He also has started to specify a desire for women 21 years or older (but not older than himself, despite his pretty obvious desire for a mother-like mate). In the past, he had been open to the idea of dating an 18-year-old, despite the vast age difference, and really only stopped at that age for [[Pedofork\|legal reasons]].		Of note are the differences between this and his previous [[dating profiles]]. By this time, Chris had apparently been making an attempt at being a grown-up, and as a result he neglected to mention ''[[Sonichu]]'', his [[autism]], or the fact he was a 28-year-old [[virgin with rage]]. He also has started to specify a desire for women 21 years or older (but not older than himself, despite his pretty obvious desire for a mother-like mate). In the past, he had been open to the idea of dating an 18-year-old, despite the vast age difference, and really only stopped at that age for [[Pedofork\|legal reasons]].

FromtheWordsofBR: /* External links */

2015-02-01T20:38:37Z

External links

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:38, 1 February 2015
Line 108:		Line 108:

	==External links==		==External links==
	<s>*[http://charlottesville.selectalternatives.com/gyrobase/Personals/ ''The Hook'' Café]</s> (defunct)		*<s>[http://charlottesville.selectalternatives.com/gyrobase/Personals/ ''The Hook'' Café]</s> (defunct)
	*[http://www.readthehook.com/102541/hook-caf-personals-place-closing-1231 Article regarding the Café's shutdown]		*[http://www.readthehook.com/102541/hook-caf-personals-place-closing-1231 Article regarding the Café's shutdown]

FromtheWordsofBR at 20:37, 1 February 2015

2015-02-01T20:37:58Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:37, 1 February 2015
Line 5:		Line 5:
	[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg\|thumb\|Chris's profile image, or what Ash Ketchum would look like if he had grown up to be a [[obesity\|fat]], [[Chris and health\|acne-ridden]], [[homos\|deeply closeted]] [[Chris\|manchild]].]]		[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg\|thumb\|Chris's profile image, or what Ash Ketchum would look like if he had grown up to be a [[obesity\|fat]], [[Chris and health\|acne-ridden]], [[homos\|deeply closeted]] [[Chris\|manchild]].]]

	'''''The Hook''''' '''Cafe''' was the online personal-ad unit of [[Charlottesville]]'s former local alternative weekly paper ''[[Wikipedia:The Hook (newspaper)\|The Hook]]''. Some time in early [[2010]], Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the nickname "[[~~Chris and~~ sex~~\|direct2sex~~]]", declaring that he "Need [[China\|Sexy Sweets]] from Woman." A ~~ninety~~-day pass to the site is [[Chris and money\|$40]], which ~~means~~ that Chris had to use his [[monthly tugboat]] to put the ad up.		'''''The Hook''''' '''Cafe''' was the online personal-ad unit of [[Charlottesville]]'s former local alternative weekly paper ''[[Wikipedia:The Hook (newspaper)\|The Hook]]''. Some time in early [[2010]], Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the nickname "direct2[[sex]]", declaring that he "Need [[China\|Sexy Sweets]] from Woman." A 90-day pass to the site cost [[Chris and money\|$40]], which meant that Chris had to use his [[monthly tugboat]] to put the ad up.

	The ad was one of the most blatant confirmations that Chris is no longer interested in "true love" and was now simply looking to get laid. This is not totally unexpected, as most of his followers have always believed that true honest love was merely a ruse to get some china, and that if Chris [[Madman Rising\|could get to the]] [[hanky-panky]] without having to actually care about someone, he would do so in a heartbeat.		The ad was one of the most blatant confirmations that Chris is no longer interested in "true love" and was now simply looking to get laid. This is not totally unexpected, as most of his followers have always believed that true honest love was merely a ruse to get some china, and that if Chris [[Madman Rising\|could get to the]] [[hanky-panky]] without having to actually care about someone, he would do so in a heartbeat.
Line 21:		Line 21:
	==Ad==		==Ad==
	[[Image:direct2sex.jpg\|thumb\|A screenshot of the ad, as of 5 April 2010.]]		[[Image:direct2sex.jpg\|thumb\|A screenshot of the ad, as of 5 April 2010.]]
	The following is all the information included in the ad ~~as of 5 [[April 2010]]~~. All misspellings or unusual capitalizations are from the original page. The peculiar entry under "Religion" (which lists his affiliation as both "[[Chris and religion\|Methodist]]" and "None") is probably the result of an error Chris made when filling out the form that produced his profile.		The following is all the information included in the ad. All misspellings or unusual capitalizations are from the original page. The peculiar entry under "Religion" (which lists his affiliation as both "[[Chris and religion\|Methodist]]" and "None") is probably the result of an error Chris made when filling out the form that produced his profile.

	===Introduction===		===Introduction===
	I am an [[honest content\|honest]], [[~~Chris and anger~~\|compassionate]] [[Megan Saga\|gentleman]], with a good sense of [[~~Random-access humor\|~~humor]]. I am looking for good time(s) with a woman; I'm not getting any younger. I would like a 21-28 year old woman with a pretty face, a sexy slim to [[Obesity\|average body]] and an honest and compassionate personality. Show me your honest and sweet interest and love, and I'll show you a good time. Hit me up with an e-mail with your photo and digits, and I will respond quickly in suit. Smokers, [[Obesity\|overweights]], [[Niggos\|blacks]] and [[List of Chris's lies\|liars]] need not apply.		I am an [[honest content\|honest]], [[Don't Mess With Me\|compassionate]] [[Megan Saga\|gentleman]], with a good sense of [[humor]]. I am looking for good time(s) with a woman; I'm not getting any younger. I would like a 21-28 year old woman with a pretty face, a sexy slim to [[Obesity\|average body]] and an honest and compassionate personality. Show me your honest and sweet interest and love, and I'll show you a good time. Hit me up with an e-mail with your photo and digits, and I will respond quickly in suit. Smokers, [[Obesity\|overweights]], [[Niggos\|blacks]] and [[List of Chris's lies\|liars]] need not apply.

	===Characteristics===		===Characteristics===
Line 53:		Line 53:

	===Personality===		===Personality===
	I get around town via: '''[[Son-chu\|Car]], [[~~Sonichu's Edge~~\|Walk]]'''<BR>		I get around town via: '''[[Son-chu\|Car]], [[Parkay\|Walk]]'''<BR>
	My dietary preferences are: '''[[~~Obesity~~\|Conscious Omnivore]]'''<BR>		My dietary preferences are: '''[[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal\|Conscious Omnivore]]'''<BR>
	I spend my free time: '''[[R.L. Stine\|Reading]], [[Sonichu\|Creating]], [[Guitar Hero\|Playing sports]], [[Chris's Big Night Out\|Clubbing]], [[30 Push-Ups\|Working out]], [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit\|Watching movies]], [[Charlottesville Fashion Square\|Shopping]], [[McDonald's\|Dining out]], Biking'''<BR>		I spend my free time: '''[[R.L. Stine\|Reading]], [[Sonichu\|Creating]], [[Guitar Hero\|Playing sports]], [[Chris's Big Night Out\|Clubbing]], [[30 Push-Ups\|Working out]], [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit\|Watching movies]], [[Charlottesville Fashion Square\|Shopping]], [[McDonald's\|Dining out]], Biking'''<BR>
	Funniest Thing: '''A man chasing a dog. [[~~Random-access humor~~\|And the dog has a ham in its mouth]]'''		Funniest Thing: '''A man chasing a dog. [[Sex Joke\|And the dog has a ham in its mouth]]'''

	===Deeper===		===Deeper===

FromtheWordsofBR at 20:25, 1 February 2015

2015-02-01T20:25:33Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:25, 1 February 2015
Line 17:		Line 17:
	On 9 [[April 2010]], the moderators on the site deleted Chris's profile, possibly due to a flood of fake profiles set up by [[trolls]]. Several troll profiles were also deleted. With the death of this profile, Chris has apparently shifted his efforts back to [[OkCupid]] as his go-to for soliciting sex via the Internet.		On 9 [[April 2010]], the moderators on the site deleted Chris's profile, possibly due to a flood of fake profiles set up by [[trolls]]. Several troll profiles were also deleted. With the death of this profile, Chris has apparently shifted his efforts back to [[OkCupid]] as his go-to for soliciting sex via the Internet.

	On 27 [[December 2011]], ''The Hook'' announced that they were shutting down Café for good on the 31st. Eventually, the magazine itself went under [[2013~~\|two years later~~]].		On 27 [[December 2011]], ''The Hook'' announced that they were shutting down Café for good on the 31st. Eventually, the magazine itself went under on 26 [[September 2013]], and was replaced with ''[[C-Ville]] Weekly''. Whether or not this was a small nod to Chris has yet to be noticed.

	==Ad==		==Ad==

FromtheWordsofBR at 20:22, 1 February 2015

2015-02-01T20:22:39Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:22, 1 February 2015
Line 15:		Line 15:
	Chris was able to solicit the attentions of a young lady named [[Jackie]] on this website. After [[Jackie e-mails\|getting to know him]], she learned to steer clearly away. Long after she stopped responding to his pleas, Chris released [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV\|a video]] in [[September 2010]] declaring his undying love for her.		Chris was able to solicit the attentions of a young lady named [[Jackie]] on this website. After [[Jackie e-mails\|getting to know him]], she learned to steer clearly away. Long after she stopped responding to his pleas, Chris released [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV\|a video]] in [[September 2010]] declaring his undying love for her.

	On 9 [[April 2010]], the moderators on the site deleted Chris's profile, possibly due to a flood of fake profiles set up by [[trolls]]. Several troll profiles were also deleted. With the death of this profile ~~(and the death of ''The Hook'' in general since [[2013]])~~, Chris has apparently shifted his efforts back to [[OkCupid]] as his go-to for soliciting sex via the Internet.		On 9 [[April 2010]], the moderators on the site deleted Chris's profile, possibly due to a flood of fake profiles set up by [[trolls]]. Several troll profiles were also deleted. With the death of this profile, Chris has apparently shifted his efforts back to [[OkCupid]] as his go-to for soliciting sex via the Internet.

			On 27 [[December 2011]], ''The Hook'' announced that they were shutting down Café for good on the 31st. Eventually, the magazine itself went under [[2013\|two years later]].

	==Ad==		==Ad==
Line 107:		Line 109:
	==External links==		==External links==
	<s>*[http://charlottesville.selectalternatives.com/gyrobase/Personals/ ''The Hook'' Café]</s> (defunct)		<s>*[http://charlottesville.selectalternatives.com/gyrobase/Personals/ ''The Hook'' Café]</s> (defunct)
			*[http://www.readthehook.com/102541/hook-caf-personals-place-closing-1231 Article regarding the Café's shutdown]

	{{DEFAULTSORT:Hook Cafe}}		{{DEFAULTSORT:Hook Cafe}}

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:29, 18 February 2015
Line 5:		Line 5:
	[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg\|thumb\|Chris's profile image, or what Ash Ketchum would look like if he had grown up to be a [[obesity\|fat]], [[Chris and health\|acne-ridden]], [[homos\|deeply closeted]] [[Chris\|manchild]].]]		[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg\|thumb\|Chris's profile image, or what Ash Ketchum would look like if he had grown up to be a [[obesity\|fat]], [[Chris and health\|acne-ridden]], [[homos\|deeply closeted]] [[Chris\|manchild]].]]

	'''''The Hook''''' '''Cafe''' was the online personal-ad unit of [[Charlottesville]]'s former local alternative weekly paper ''[[Wikipedia:The Hook (newspaper)\|The Hook]]''. Some time in early [[2010]], Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the nickname "direct2[[sex]]", declaring that he "Need ~~[[China\|~~Sexy Sweets]] from Woman." A 90-day pass to the site cost [[Chris and money\|$40]], which meant that Chris had to use his [[monthly tugboat]] to put the ad up.		'''''The Hook''''' '''Cafe''' was the online personal-ad unit of [[Charlottesville]]'s former local alternative weekly paper ''[[Wikipedia:The Hook (newspaper)\|The Hook]]''. Some time in early [[2010]], Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the nickname "direct2[[sex]]", declaring that he "Need Sexy Sweets from Woman." A 90-day pass to the site cost [[Chris and money\|$40]], which meant that Chris had to use his [[monthly tugboat]] to put the ad up.

	The ad was one of the most blatant confirmations that Chris is no longer interested in "true love" and was now simply looking to get laid. This is not totally unexpected, as most of his followers have always believed that true honest love was merely a ruse to get some china, and that if Chris [[Madman Rising\|could get to the]] [[hanky-panky]] without having to actually care about someone, he would do so in a heartbeat.		The ad was one of the most blatant confirmations that Chris is no longer interested in "true love" and was now simply looking to get laid. This is not totally unexpected, as most of his followers have always believed that true honest love was merely a ruse to get some [[china]], and that if Chris [[Madman Rising\|could get to the]] [[hanky-panky]] without having to actually care about someone, he would do so in a heartbeat.

	Of note are the differences between this and his previous [[dating profiles]]. By this time, Chris had apparently been making an attempt at being a grown-up, and as a result he neglected to mention ''[[Sonichu]]'', his [[autism]], or the fact he was a 28-year-old [[virgin with rage]]. He also has started to specify a desire for women 21 years or older (but not older than himself, despite his pretty obvious desire for a mother-like mate). In the past, he had been open to the idea of dating an 18-year-old, despite the vast age difference, and really only stopped at that age for [[Pedofork\|legal reasons]].		Of note are the differences between this and his previous [[dating profiles]]. By this time, Chris had apparently been making an attempt at being a grown-up, and as a result he neglected to mention ''[[Sonichu]]'', his [[autism]], or the fact he was a 28-year-old [[virgin with rage]]. He also has started to specify a desire for women 21 years or older (but not older than himself, despite his pretty obvious desire for a mother-like mate). In the past, he had been open to the idea of dating an 18-year-old, despite the vast age difference, and really only stopped at that age for [[Pedofork\|legal reasons]].

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:37, 1 February 2015
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	[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg\|thumb\|Chris's profile image, or what Ash Ketchum would look like if he had grown up to be a [[obesity\|fat]], [[Chris and health\|acne-ridden]], [[homos\|deeply closeted]] [[Chris\|manchild]].]]		[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg\|thumb\|Chris's profile image, or what Ash Ketchum would look like if he had grown up to be a [[obesity\|fat]], [[Chris and health\|acne-ridden]], [[homos\|deeply closeted]] [[Chris\|manchild]].]]

	'''''The Hook''''' '''Cafe''' was the online personal-ad unit of [[Charlottesville]]'s former local alternative weekly paper ''[[Wikipedia:The Hook (newspaper)\|The Hook]]''. Some time in early [[2010]], Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the nickname "[[~~Chris and~~ sex~~\|direct2sex~~]]", declaring that he "Need [[China\|Sexy Sweets]] from Woman." A ~~ninety~~-day pass to the site is [[Chris and money\|$40]], which ~~means~~ that Chris had to use his [[monthly tugboat]] to put the ad up.		'''''The Hook''''' '''Cafe''' was the online personal-ad unit of [[Charlottesville]]'s former local alternative weekly paper ''[[Wikipedia:The Hook (newspaper)\|The Hook]]''. Some time in early [[2010]], Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the nickname "direct2[[sex]]", declaring that he "Need [[China\|Sexy Sweets]] from Woman." A 90-day pass to the site cost [[Chris and money\|$40]], which meant that Chris had to use his [[monthly tugboat]] to put the ad up.

	The ad was one of the most blatant confirmations that Chris is no longer interested in "true love" and was now simply looking to get laid. This is not totally unexpected, as most of his followers have always believed that true honest love was merely a ruse to get some china, and that if Chris [[Madman Rising\|could get to the]] [[hanky-panky]] without having to actually care about someone, he would do so in a heartbeat.		The ad was one of the most blatant confirmations that Chris is no longer interested in "true love" and was now simply looking to get laid. This is not totally unexpected, as most of his followers have always believed that true honest love was merely a ruse to get some china, and that if Chris [[Madman Rising\|could get to the]] [[hanky-panky]] without having to actually care about someone, he would do so in a heartbeat.
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	==Ad==		==Ad==
	[[Image:direct2sex.jpg\|thumb\|A screenshot of the ad, as of 5 April 2010.]]		[[Image:direct2sex.jpg\|thumb\|A screenshot of the ad, as of 5 April 2010.]]
	The following is all the information included in the ad ~~as of 5 [[April 2010]]~~. All misspellings or unusual capitalizations are from the original page. The peculiar entry under "Religion" (which lists his affiliation as both "[[Chris and religion\|Methodist]]" and "None") is probably the result of an error Chris made when filling out the form that produced his profile.		The following is all the information included in the ad. All misspellings or unusual capitalizations are from the original page. The peculiar entry under "Religion" (which lists his affiliation as both "[[Chris and religion\|Methodist]]" and "None") is probably the result of an error Chris made when filling out the form that produced his profile.

	===Introduction===		===Introduction===
	I am an [[honest content\|honest]], [[~~Chris and anger~~\|compassionate]] [[Megan Saga\|gentleman]], with a good sense of [[~~Random-access humor\|~~humor]]. I am looking for good time(s) with a woman; I'm not getting any younger. I would like a 21-28 year old woman with a pretty face, a sexy slim to [[Obesity\|average body]] and an honest and compassionate personality. Show me your honest and sweet interest and love, and I'll show you a good time. Hit me up with an e-mail with your photo and digits, and I will respond quickly in suit. Smokers, [[Obesity\|overweights]], [[Niggos\|blacks]] and [[List of Chris's lies\|liars]] need not apply.		I am an [[honest content\|honest]], [[Don't Mess With Me\|compassionate]] [[Megan Saga\|gentleman]], with a good sense of [[humor]]. I am looking for good time(s) with a woman; I'm not getting any younger. I would like a 21-28 year old woman with a pretty face, a sexy slim to [[Obesity\|average body]] and an honest and compassionate personality. Show me your honest and sweet interest and love, and I'll show you a good time. Hit me up with an e-mail with your photo and digits, and I will respond quickly in suit. Smokers, [[Obesity\|overweights]], [[Niggos\|blacks]] and [[List of Chris's lies\|liars]] need not apply.

	===Characteristics===		===Characteristics===
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	===Personality===		===Personality===
	I get around town via: '''[[Son-chu\|Car]], [[~~Sonichu's Edge~~\|Walk]]'''<BR>		I get around town via: '''[[Son-chu\|Car]], [[Parkay\|Walk]]'''<BR>
	My dietary preferences are: '''[[~~Obesity~~\|Conscious Omnivore]]'''<BR>		My dietary preferences are: '''[[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal\|Conscious Omnivore]]'''<BR>
	I spend my free time: '''[[R.L. Stine\|Reading]], [[Sonichu\|Creating]], [[Guitar Hero\|Playing sports]], [[Chris's Big Night Out\|Clubbing]], [[30 Push-Ups\|Working out]], [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit\|Watching movies]], [[Charlottesville Fashion Square\|Shopping]], [[McDonald's\|Dining out]], Biking'''<BR>		I spend my free time: '''[[R.L. Stine\|Reading]], [[Sonichu\|Creating]], [[Guitar Hero\|Playing sports]], [[Chris's Big Night Out\|Clubbing]], [[30 Push-Ups\|Working out]], [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit\|Watching movies]], [[Charlottesville Fashion Square\|Shopping]], [[McDonald's\|Dining out]], Biking'''<BR>
	Funniest Thing: '''A man chasing a dog. [[~~Random-access humor~~\|And the dog has a ham in its mouth]]'''		Funniest Thing: '''A man chasing a dog. [[Sex Joke\|And the dog has a ham in its mouth]]'''

	===Deeper===		===Deeper===