User:MoarLurk/MoarRambles - Revision history

MoarLurk: Replaced content with 'This page is no longer needed. Please delete it.'

2010-07-19T19:58:39Z

Replaced content with 'This page is no longer needed. Please delete it.'

MoarLurk at 21:42, 21 May 2010

2010-05-21T21:42:44Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:42, 21 May 2010
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	==MOAR OBSERVATIONS AND SHIT==		==MOAR OBSERVATIONS AND SHIT==

			'''Rocky Orders'''

			Chris has been acting under her orders for about two months now--she is almost certainly monitoring his videos. There is nobody else it could be--the YASG doesn't seem to give a shit about him and his parents don't use the internet.

			Rocky seems to give a shit about the content of Chris's videos--she's the reason DAMIAN ANTARIA GIVE ME CHINA PLEASE was deleted, according to Jackie, same with his recent "Jews are okay" and his older "FUCK ABSTENANCE" videos.

			Thus, I have an idea of what she's doing at the moment. Chris, somehow, has gained the privledge of making videos again--she doesn't know about FORTY TWO BUST since she's only watching his YT. The Game Place audio has reached her as well(as did his recent conspiracy video), but she only found it recently, which explains why Chris brought it up just now.

			During the meeting, she rambled at Chris about not reacting to forum trolls--Chris has been misinterperting her orders for a while and reacting to things he doesn't consider to be forum trolls. Eventually, they settled on a compromise where Chris could make a video, but he had to discuss current events and his opinions about things in the real world. She's probably also convinced him to stop wearing clown shirts.

			I think she and Chris meet on Thursdays and Saturdays.

	'''Ivy/Vanessa shit'''		'''Ivy/Vanessa shit'''

MoarLurk at 20:54, 20 May 2010

2010-05-20T20:54:08Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:54, 20 May 2010
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	He reminds me of Chris.		He reminds me of Chris.

	==MOAR OBSERVATIONS AND SHIT==		==MOAR OBSERVATIONS AND SHIT==

			'''Ivy/Vanessa shit'''

			I understand why Chris always falls back on "Oh, uh, sure, I wasn't loyal to Ivy, but Vanessa wasn't even a real woman!"

			To him, the crime of "cheating" is defined as "A man cheating on a woman with another woman". Chris is taking this in the literal sense--he didn't "cheat" on Sarah with Julie because Julie was actually a thirteen year old boy, and he didn't "cheat" on Ivy with Vanessa Hudgens because Vanessa turned out to be a Mexican guy.

			Of course, Chris doesn't realize that he didn't know that ''then'', so he willingly cheated on a woman with what he thought was a woman.

			As for "I RESISTED AS LONG AS I COULD",


	'''The Bend'''		'''The Bend'''

MoarLurk at 05:49, 20 May 2010

2010-05-20T05:49:21Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:49, 20 May 2010
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	==MOAR OBSERVATIONS AND SHIT==		==MOAR OBSERVATIONS AND SHIT==

			'''The Bend'''

			I think it's common knowledge now but I'll just put it here for good measure.

			Chris didn't figure out proper masturbation until he was seventeen. When asked why his dick was bent, he said "It's been that way" and blamed his underwear or something like that. This makes me think the bend wasn't instant but in fact happened over a period of time. Also, Chris is terrible at remembering anything about him physical appearance, so it's not hard to guess that he missed the bend.

			His original form of masturbating involved stuffing a wet cloth in between his mattress and the frame and fucking it. Given the force he applies during the Julay tape and the fact that he never changes, then this is probably how his dick broke.


	'''Paulo'''		'''Paulo'''

MoarLurk at 01:33, 20 May 2010

2010-05-20T01:33:01Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:33, 19 May 2010
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	Megan first.		Megan first.

	Paulo's version: She was a manipulative bitch who used every guy in the store to buy Nazi crap. She didn't always reimbruse people		Paulo's version: She was a manipulative bitch who used every guy in the store to buy Nazi crap. She didn't always reimbruse people.

	Chris's version: She did indeed use him to buy stuff, but sometimes he just bought her things as gifts.		Chris's version: She did indeed use him to buy stuff, but sometimes he just bought her things as gifts.

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	Lucas's version: Megan was a victim, story we all know, yadayadayada.		Lucas's version: Megan was a victim, story we all know, yadayadayada.

	Okay, Lucas's version can't be trusted fully because I've met the type of person Paulo claims Megan is. Ever hear of GameQueen? She utterly destroyed a forum just by being female. Everyone would worship her. She instantly became popular simply because she had a vagina. Her worshipers would flame everyone who didn't praise her. Her topics would always his the post limit in the space of a day due to the flame wars she'd start.		Okay, Lucas's version can't be trusted fully because I've met the type of person Paulo claims Megan is. Ever hear of GameQueen? She utterly destroyed a forum just by being female. Everyone would worship her. She instantly became popular simply because she had a vagina. Her worshipers would flame everyone who didn't praise her. Her topics would always his the post limit in the space of a day due to the flame wars she'd start. /b/ and it's brothers don't have this problem because we have "TITS OR GTFO", so these kinds of people either fuck off or become camwhores.

	If Megan was a GameQueen, then Lucas might be a drone and Paulo a rebel. I'm going to play "Happy middle" here since I can't trust either source. Until I recive information that indicates otherwise, Megan was unpopular and Chris hit on her. She decided to use Chris, but bit off more than she could chew when she realized he'd fallen in love with her. She began to panic and freaked out a bit when Chris drew porn of her. After that, she was disgusted by the whole ordeal and moved away ASAP.		If Megan was a GameQueen, then Lucas might be a drone and Paulo a rebel. I'm going to play "Happy middle" here since I can't trust either source. Until I recive information that indicates otherwise, Megan was unpopular and Chris hit on her. She decided to use Chris(we all know that he's easially manipulated), but bit off more than she could chew when she realized he'd fallen in love with her. She began to panic and freaked out a bit when Chris drew porn of her. After that, she was disgusted by the whole ordeal and moved away ASAP.


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	Mimms and Paulo hate each other according to all three informants, so both of their stories are false. Mimms didn't suddenly turn into Smugface McCoolguy, but he didn't grovel and beg Chris for forgiveness either.		Mimms and Paulo hate each other according to all three informants, so both of their stories are false. Mimms didn't suddenly turn into Smugface McCoolguy, but he didn't grovel and beg Chris for forgiveness either.

	These stories sound a lot like exaggerations of the tale Lucas told: Mimms was nervous(the "shaking in his fro" comment) when ~~they~~ started making legal threats, and they played dumb as to how it got onto the internet, blaming their younger siblings, and they bought it(Where Mimms likes to think he was smug and awesome). Though Mimms had to make a half-assed apology to Chris, there was no groveling involved(You just know Chris would have brought that up).		These stories sound a lot like exaggerations of the tale Lucas told: Mimms was nervous(the "shaking in his fro" comment) when Boblax started making legal threats, and they played dumb as to how it got onto the internet, blaming their younger siblings, and they bought it(Where Mimms likes to think he was smug and awesome). Though Mimms had to make a half-assed apology to Chris, there was no groveling involved(You just know Chris would have brought that up).

	Everything else seems to be true except for the part where Paulo claims to have caused the string of strongman videos--that was just Chris trying to prove to Kacey that he was fit. Unless I'm missing something, of course.		Everything else seems to be true except for the part where Paulo claims to have caused the string of strongman videos--that was just Chris trying to prove to Kacey that he was fit. Unless I'm missing something, of course.

			Oh, and I'm with Lucas on the story where Chris allegedly tried to segregate the players by race. That sounds a bit too insane even by Chris's standards. I do, however, belive the story where he got on Paulo's case for naming a female Psyduck "Thomas"--both Mimms and Lucas mention that Chris hated Paulo and this could be why.

			And I'm going to tenatively trust Paulo on the Snorlax story--he's sort of our only source on this bar Chris, who didn't give a full story as usual. I think the "HE DID NOT OFFER HER A CHAIR" part fits with Paulo's "She sat on the floor and rambled about Greene County and mental institutions".

			I'm going to see if I can verify this based on what I know about Snorlax.

			Let's see...she's arrogant, is turned on by men who swear all the time, fat, a liar, a whore, and she has a poor command of the english language. She's convinced that we're working for Chris Hansen and trying to out Chris as a pedophile, and all her attempts to stop trolling have been based on pure paranoia. Inadvertently, she's also sabotaging Chris's feeble attempts at a social life without even realizing it(though Chris lies about where he's going).

			She also attempted to sue a Chinese place shortly after she discovered her colitis. That part is key. Her first reaction to discovering what she thought was food poisoning wasn't "How do I treat it?", "I'll never eat there again", or even "I'll walk it off", it was "Who can I sue?". That is not a normal reaction. Both she and Bob are quick to play the persecution card--they do this frequently and have been doing so for a long while, at least since Chris entered the schooling system, so about twenty or so years.

			Yeah, that sounds like something she'd do. I'll trust Paulo on this one.

			As for the actuall confrontation, Mimms and Paulo mention a mudslide of legal threats, sympathy pleas, and the odd autism card. Mimms said that they started by rambling about how "hard" it was to raise a child with autism(keep in mind they were fucking off to bars while plonking Chris in front of a TV set, only changing this routine when Chris got himself into trouble), and Paulo claimed they were making a plethora of legal threats. Mimms may have been relating his story through a hindsight filter(at least the part about Bob not being very intimidating now that he thinks of it).

			Still, Snorlax is the one we know the least about(and likely as crazy as Chris, no wonder he wants to cuddle with her so often), it's nice to have some dirt on her.

	'''Chris and Cartoon Animal Nudity'''		'''Chris and Cartoon Animal Nudity'''

MoarLurk at 20:02, 19 May 2010

2010-05-19T20:02:05Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:02, 19 May 2010
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	==MOAR OBSERVATIONS AND SHIT==		==MOAR OBSERVATIONS AND SHIT==
			'''Paulo'''

			Okay, time to sort out fact from fiction.

			Megan first.

			Paulo's version: She was a manipulative bitch who used every guy in the store to buy Nazi crap. She didn't always reimbruse people
			Chris's version: She did indeed use him to buy stuff, but sometimes he just bought her things as gifts.

			I'm thinking either Paulo may have misinterperted something Chris did or Chris just thought "Oh well, she didn't pay me back but that means it's a gift so she'll have sex with me sooner!".

			Lucas's version: Megan was a victim, story we all know, yadayadayada.

			Okay, Lucas's version can't be trusted fully because I've met the type of person Paulo claims Megan is. Ever hear of GameQueen? She utterly destroyed a forum just by being female. Everyone would worship her. She instantly became popular simply because she had a vagina. Her worshipers would flame everyone who didn't praise her. Her topics would always his the post limit in the space of a day due to the flame wars she'd start.

			If Megan was a GameQueen, then Lucas might be a drone and Paulo a rebel. I'm going to play "Happy middle" here since I can't trust either source. Until I recive information that indicates otherwise, Megan was unpopular and Chris hit on her. She decided to use Chris, but bit off more than she could chew when she realized he'd fallen in love with her. She began to panic and freaked out a bit when Chris drew porn of her. After that, she was disgusted by the whole ordeal and moved away ASAP.


			Now, for the Mimms Incident.

			Mimms and Paulo hate each other according to all three informants, so both of their stories are false. Mimms didn't suddenly turn into Smugface McCoolguy, but he didn't grovel and beg Chris for forgiveness either.

			These stories sound a lot like exaggerations of the tale Lucas told: Mimms was nervous(the "shaking in his fro" comment) when they started making legal threats, and they played dumb as to how it got onto the internet, blaming their younger siblings, and they bought it(Where Mimms likes to think he was smug and awesome). Though Mimms had to make a half-assed apology to Chris, there was no groveling involved(You just know Chris would have brought that up).

			Everything else seems to be true except for the part where Paulo claims to have caused the string of strongman videos--that was just Chris trying to prove to Kacey that he was fit. Unless I'm missing something, of course.



	'''Chris and Cartoon Animal Nudity'''		'''Chris and Cartoon Animal Nudity'''

MoarLurk at 04:29, 18 May 2010

2010-05-18T04:29:26Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:29, 18 May 2010
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	'''Chris and Cartoon Animal Nudity'''		'''Chris and Cartoon Animal Nudity'''

			Edit, I tried to find a trope on this--it's "Half Dressed Cartoon Animal", but I also found "Nonhumans Lack Attributes" and discovered a Sonichu example. If TVtropes becomes addicted to Chris, one of us is going to have to back up his article over there so he can't destroy it with petty vandalism.

	Chris can't seem to grasp this rule. It's a complicated one, but I'll try and explain.		Chris can't seem to grasp this rule. It's a complicated one, but I'll try and explain.

MoarLurk at 04:19, 18 May 2010

2010-05-18T04:19:49Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:19, 18 May 2010
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	==MOAR IDEAS==		==MOAR IDEAS==


			'''Ideas'''

			Since the Mailbag is going to start up sooner or later(at least, I hope it will), I've got a plan I've been thinking of for a while now. Chris acted annoyed when a question asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. I suggest that we all send emails assuming that he is nine years old.

			Y'see, Chris thinks experience and age are the exact same thing. And "naive" implies a lack of experience, so insulting his "experience" is a good way to set him off.

			Bonus points if we accuse his mother of molesting him. Or if we suggest that he was kidnapped at birth.

	'''Current moves'''		'''Current moves'''

MoarLurk at 02:03, 18 May 2010

2010-05-18T02:03:04Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:03, 17 May 2010
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	==MOAR OBSERVATIONS AND SHIT==		==MOAR OBSERVATIONS AND SHIT==

			'''Chris and Cartoon Animal Nudity'''

			Chris can't seem to grasp this rule. It's a complicated one, but I'll try and explain.

			As some of you may have noticed, Donald Duck does not wear pants. However, when he leaves the shower, he wears a towel like a human would.

			My deduction of the rule is this. When an anthromoprhic animal character first appears, their state of dress is their "fully clothed" state. Hence why Minnie Mouse only wears a skirt and why Donald Duck needs to wear a towel despite his perpetual pantslessness. If a character wears no clothes(Yogi Bear, Bugs Bunny, ect...), then it's perfectly okay--they're not human and don't need to wear clothes anyway.

			Chris, as Guru Larry taught us, considers furries to be animals, and therefore all of his characters fall under this rule. He looks at Minnie Mouse, notices that nobody complains about her, and promptly draws Rosechu sitting on the toilet. To him, animals follow the "Clothing optional" rule--they can wear as little or as much as they want and nobody will complain. He can't grasp that his characters are humanoid and, in fact have to follow normal human standards. That, and Chris seems to find clothing design to be too stressful.

MoarLurk at 01:37, 18 May 2010

2010-05-18T01:37:55Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:37, 17 May 2010
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	I notice something about Teen Chris--he's not an idiot like he is today, he's just ronery. He sounds kind of sad when he brings up the fact that he doesn't have a brother to play games with. A picture he drew in high school shows him married with one child, a boy.		I notice something about Teen Chris--he's not an idiot like he is today, he's just ronery. He sounds kind of sad when he brings up the fact that he doesn't have a brother to play games with. A picture he drew in high school shows him married with one child, a boy.

	More interesting is Bionic's first chronological appearance in the comic--Bionic is the "cool" male friend Chris wishes he had, so he somehow is able to apologize to Chris for hitting him with the basketball that inspired his own creation(don't ask Chris is retarded). None of the guys would associate with him, and I bet Chris was annoyed that someone had just chucked a basketball at him.		More interesting is Bionic's first chronological appearance in the comic--Bionic is the "cool" male friend Chris wishes he had, so he somehow is able to apologize to Chris for hitting him with the basketball that inspired his own creation(don't ask Chris is retarded). None of the guys would associate with him, and I bet Chris was annoyed that someone had just chucked a basketball at him. He had no desire for a girl--he was convinced that the girls were sitting on some huge secret. Very few male characters in the shows Chris would have been watching act like any real person would--if a guy shows up and starts acting like a bro, he's always wrong and the episode turns into a moral about how you should find someone you like your own way. Most of the time, they just sat around idealizing women and the hunt for romance.

	Chris, initially, wanted a sibling. This desire simply altered with his age and turned into his insane desire to have a daughter. He wants a playmate, someone to replace Sarah. It's not that he hasn't moved on from high school--he ''hasn't even moved past having to move away from Sarah Hammer''.		Chris wasn't worried about this in high school--sure, he had no libido until he was sixteen, but he was convinced that he had all the girls he could handle. Due to the childish programming he viewed, he didn't understand a relationship beyond first base, and as such was convinced that was the final frontier and he could probably hit it whenever he wanted. He was content with his Sweetheart Search, but he wanted male friends too. Problem was, he was that childish, immature, Sonic and Pokemon obsessed closet homosexual who played on the girl's team. No guy would want to be friends with that--heck, I know exactly what his location on the social totem pole was, I've met a guy like that.

			When I was in high school, I met this short, fat, black kid named Daryl. Everyone hated him, which was a new experience for me--I was still feeling the backdraft from two things I did in elementary school that got me excommunicated. I actually managed to claw my way back up the social totem to a livable state by simply treating Daryl like shit--he was bossy, hyper-religious, nosy, naive, and he would not stop trying to make friends with me. Eventually he wound up convinced that I was out to kill him with the two "lesbians"(his idea), and I wound up escaping my hell. I think Chris may have been the Daryl of his school--the Omega Wolf, the one everyone picks on to reaffirm their social superiority.

			Chris, initially, wanted a sibling. This desire simply altered with his age and turned into his insane desire to have a daughter. He wants a playmate, someone to replace Sarah, someone who would have come with him even if he had to move. I wouldn't be surprised if he saw Sarah as a toy who would play with his other toys. It's not that he hasn't moved on from high school--he ''hasn't even moved past having to move away from Sarah Hammer''.

	Come to think of it, I think he views women as playmates instead of talking sex toys. Clyde revealed on /cwc/ that Panda is sitting on logs of her playing "house" with him. Chris himself plays "house" with his Sonichu and Rosechu legos.		Come to think of it, I think he views women as playmates instead of talking sex toys. Clyde revealed on /cwc/ that Panda is sitting on logs of her playing "house" with him. Chris himself plays "house" with his Sonichu and Rosechu legos.
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	What if he sees "sex" as a game adults can play with each other? Perhaps he sees it as a game where there's a complicated ritual you need to follow in order to play it with someone else, and he doesn't get the ritual. He wants to play a game, and nobody will join him. He's being picked last in gym class. He is most truly and honestly a child.		What if he sees "sex" as a game adults can play with each other? Perhaps he sees it as a game where there's a complicated ritual you need to follow in order to play it with someone else, and he doesn't get the ritual. He wants to play a game, and nobody will join him. He's being picked last in gym class. He is most truly and honestly a child.

			Speaking of Teen Chris, we just learned that he was on the girl's team in high school. He was bullied for sure, it's confirmed. I wonder if we can contact anyone from that school and ask them if they remember that retarded guy who played with the girls.

	'''Chris's restrictions'''		'''Chris's restrictions'''