BlueSpike

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Revision as of 13:08, 12 September 2020 by FromtheWordsofBR (talk | contribs) (Waymuu was 13 years old in 2011 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hw8iX5lY2kY); therefore, it's unlikely he was BlueSpike, because BS was 13 in 2009.)
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I can tell in my heart Julie IS 19.
Chris on Julie.[1]
BlueSpike
Gilded.jpg
Information
Name "David"
Also known as BlueSpike
LeonSpike
Julie Milvana
JULAAAY
Max Milvana
Born 12 October 1996 (age 27)[2]
Gender Female Male
Nationality American
Race White
Occupation Troll

Most 13-year-old boys only dream of getting to watch an autistic manchild shove pieces of CRAYOLA FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC up his ass. BlueSpike (AKA LeonSpike, "a 13 year old brat" with Asperger syndrome according to Chris) got to live that dream, when he trolled Chris through two feigned identities: a sweetheart named Julie (aka JULAAAY) and her evil brother Max. Most of the trolling involved BlueSpike having phone sex with Chris for hours each night, listening to Chris masturbating.[3][4] As BlueSpike was in complete control of Chris, he could have done more sinister things, but night after night he engaged in nothing but noisy, fabricated (on Blue's end) phone sex and listening to Chris very loudly going on dates with Rosie Palms. Draw your own conclusions about BlueSpike's sexuality. One such session did eventuate in the legendary interruption by the Internet lumberjack.

BlueSpike's treatment of Chris is considered to be sadistic, even bordering on outright emotional abuse during the Mumble call where he revealed himself as Julie. His harsh treatment of Chris was unparalleled by any of Chris's past trolls, and would not be matched again until the Idea Guys got hold nearly a decade later. BlueSpike's trolling caused Chris to admit to Julie that he had tried a dildo and anal beads, produced the infamous sex tape where he fucks Kimmi, a description of a future scene from Sonichu #9 alluding to his gay fans, how Chris hates everything that's not Aryan, his father walking in to him mass debating, and other sick shit. He is also indirectly responsible for the "JULAAAAAAAAYYY!" meme, so he is partially to blame for all the weens who still find it amusing.

Julie

JULAAAAAAY, JULAAAAAAY!!!!
Chris professes his undying love while screwing a doll.
Chris and Julie, together in LittleBigPlanet. The salad days.
What Chris believed Julie looked like.

Julie Milvana[5] (born 13 July 1989[6]) was a Molvanîan Methodist[7] Sonichu fan who became Chris's sweetheart after PandaHalo. Her kidnap by her evil brother Max led to Chris's ill-fated rescue mission to Cleveland. "Julie" first appeared in IRC in December 2008, suggesting the infamous Tour of Chris's House video.[8] She later posed a ton of Sonichu questions submitted by fans[9] and was invited to Sonichu Girls.

As early as 3 January 2009, she asked Chris what he would do if a JERK kidnapped his heartsweet--he said, "I would learn his demands if any, or if he hurt her, I'd strike the jerk back." Julie also got excited by the prospect of an orgy with Chris and the Sonichu Girls.[10] The next day, it was revealed that Chris had promised his virginity to both Panda and Julie, and both ladies were furious, with Julie threatening to kill herself.[11] Later she calmed down and moved to Ohio to live with relatives. Ever classy, Chris suggested a threesome with PandaHalo.[12] Chris refused to drive to Ohio, instead insisting that Julie come to him. He also couldn't be bothered to attack Clyde in IRC, even when he threatened Julie.[13]

Receipts from Chris's epic journey to Cleveland. Note that he asked for no pickles on the mayo hamburger, and that the place he at was a Sonic Drive-In.

Chris's loyalty to Julie would be proven on 26 February 2009, when Max, her evil, mysterious brother, kidnapped her and held her against her will. In response, Chris valiantly travelled to Ohio in a bid to rescue her and got his parents all worried. (His ancestors' spirits had wished him "a Safe Trip to Ohio" two days prior at Aunt Corrina's funeral.)[14] Unfortunately, because Chris got the "wrong" address, he ended up at a run-down house in the ghetto that was inhabited by an elderly black woman.[15]

When Chris chose Sarah May over her, Julie was crushed. Chris apologized, and then abruptly went back to talking about vidya.[16] Clyde Cash made more serious threats against Julie, forcing Chris to upload a famous 5 February 2009 video admitting that he was gay.[16] Once Chris got it into his head that PandaHalo had burned to death in a wildfire, he began to focus even more on Julie as a sweetheart.

Chris received a letter written by Julie, the first physical proof of her "existence". In it, it details the love professed by her to Chris. That Valentine's Day, Chris uploaded a LBP level, and Chris and Julie brought their relationship to the next level with cybersex. Bob Chandler walked in, and the rest is history. Chris's parents didn't believe that Julie was TRUE and HONEST.[17]

In an infamous video on 20 February 2009, Chris created a sex video for Julie with the help of his inflatable assistant Kimmi, in order to give Julie an idea of what their first time together would be like. Chris's agonized cries of "JULAAAAAAAY!" would prove one of the most striking and memorable of CWC-isms; to this date, many erroneously believe that Kimmi is Julie. This is not so; Chris may be the most desperate man alive, but he's not quite got to the point where he's convinced himself any of his sex dolls are real.

Julie Reveals Herself

Main article: Julie Reveals Herself

On 3 March 2009, Max gained control of Chris's PlayStation Network account, and during an hour-long audio session threatened to sell the PSN account and forbid Julie from seeing Chris. Chris was coerced into declaring BILLY MAYS to be the mayor of CWCville and shoving the pieces of his destroyed Sonichu medallion up his anal cavity, before he was able to talk to Julie, at which point Julie admits that both she and Max were the figments of BlueSpike's imagination. At no point did BlueSpike even mention the sex tape (which had already gotten nearly 2 million hits on SlutLoad). BlueSpike's female voice is an unconvincing falsetto, which makes it all the more hilarious (or duressful, depending on who you talk to) that it worked so well on Chris. This incident shattered both his heart level and his anus to 0%.

Julie Reveals Herself
Stardate 3 March 2009
Featuring Chris, BlueSpike, Clyde
Saga JulieJulie Julie

Reaction

Kids say the darndest things.

On 5 March 2009, an all-out civil war broke out between trolls on the Chris-chan ED discussion page on whether BlueSpike had gone too far, whether he was a hypocrite, or if he was merely a tool initiated by Clyde Cash to ruse Chris into the further milking of lulz. Suffice to say, a combination of outrage and troll remorse turned the whole event into a clusterfuck.

If BlueSpike really is 13 years old, then we know who the real child molesters are. [...] "hey! be one of the cool kids, help this autistic guy jack off, pretend to be a girl so we can video tape and record it..." . Thats the REAL reason you were shiting it and called for a 30 minute silence just after, Clyde. At least you had the balls to say that it was you responsible [...] If Bluespike really is 13, then you groomed a child to perform sex acts on a mentally retarded man for your pleasure. You're fucked, son. You both broke a lolcow, but theres better sport now, ruining your lives. And dont act like you dont care, I saw you shiting yourself all that night and the next, sending waves of members out to kill threads about it or put in false names, just like Your sock earlier in the page. Ready to have a seat of there?
Wit, ED user[18]

Even as Julie Reveals Herself was being recorded, other trolls can be heard remarking that it was "horrible" and demanding BlueSpike to stop.

Impact on Chris

While one might think that this level of physical and mental abuse would leave lasting scars, BlueSpike's trolling had virtually no evident long-term impact on Chris. Just a few weeks after Julie revealed her true identity, Chris had moved onto thinking he'd found another sweetheart online, and just a few weeks after that he had no trouble believing that he was having virtual sex with a famous Disney Channel celebrity. The main effect it had was that although Chris made a new Sonichu medallion, he stopped wearing it until 1 July 2009.

Chris came to believe that BlueSpike was killed at the hands of Clyde Cash, from an offhand comment by Cash in Mumble 12. On his version of the ED page, Chris stated that "That little S.O.B. later died at the hands of the "Starscream" Troll, Clyde Cash." Of course, this statement was later revealed to be a complete and utter falsehood . Nonetheless, even eight years after the events of 23 August 2011, Chris still believes that BlueSpike is dead.[19]

"Called out"

On 23 August 2011, Chris claimed to know BlueSpike's real identity (first name David) and threatened to drop dox on him unless he made an apology video by 15 September 2011. In the video, BlueSpike was to tell people to stop calling Chris "Ian Brandon Anderson" and yelling "JULAAAAAAAAYYY!" in prank calls. Although BlueSpike did not respond to Chris' demands, the death of Bob 2 weeks later caused Chris to leave the Internet before he could reveal BlueSpike's personal information, and he ultimately lost interest in exposing his tormentor.

Even if Chris did make a video about who BlueSpike really was, it would have been for naught. The personal information Chris had actually belonged to David Harlow, a lolcow also known as Nesshelper. This is evidenced by Nesshelper and BlueSpike apparently sharing the same first name, the "real" photo of BlueSpike being a closeup of this picture of Nesshelper, and Chris' claim of BlueSpike liking big rooms, which references a video rant where Nesshelper complained about the size of a hotel room he was staying in. Aside from not being a troll and having no reason nor motivation to go after Chris, the fact that Nesshelper sounds nothing like BlueSpike in his videos makes it clear they are not the same person. Furthermore, Nesshelper was born on 9 July, 1985[20] and therefore would have been 23 years old during the Julie saga.

Chris was presumably given false information to highlight his gullibility and possibly set up a feud between him and Nesshelper, similar to how Ahuviya Rotem Harel and Christopher Paul Whitney made negative remarks about Chris after he accused them of being Jack Thaddeus and Alec Benson Leary respectively. Of course, the aforementioned death of Bob prevented a conflict between the 2 from occurring; regardless, it's likely Nesshelper wasn't even aware of Chris's misguided attempt to dox him out.

Today

Chris' "Epic Online Bully" card, based on Julie/Max

BlueSpike is easily one of the most polarizing trolls in Christory, competing with the Idea Guys. Most trolls tend to frown on BlueSpike and his methods, as they echo those of weens, enablers, and A-Logs. Nevertheless, some weens still yearn to return to the sadistic days of BlueSpike, in hopes of an age of trolling where physical pain is inflicted upon Chris. Since 2009, BlueSpike has come of age and matured; he now has a profile on Kiwi Farms,[2] which has been given the "Christorical Figure" verification by forum moderators. When asked to reflect upon his time trolling Chris, he wrote:[21]

There's been tons of things in my life I've regretted and hated doing later on, all of the stuff from 10 years ago was one of them. I've moved past everything that happened those many years ago and obviously I'm a different person now. It wasn't funny and was a very a-log thing to do. Nothing much else I can say.

On August 28, 2017, BlueSpike responded to a question on his Kiwi Farms[22] account asking if given the opportunity he would "do it all again". He responded:

Probably not, if I would I'd try to do something more similar to Liquid Chris (not trying to ruin his life and just have fun with him)

See also

Pickles.jpg
Tired of "Good Fan Art"? Visit our constantly expanding Gallery of Evil Fan Art! There's even a whole section dedicated to BlueSpike!

Sources


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