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Captain's Log

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Real life: the final frontier.
These are the fails of the lolcow Chris-chan. His continuing Love Quest: to explore strange new Attraction Locations, to seek out new gal-pals, and new sweethearts; to boldly go where no high-functioning autistic virgin has gone before.



Ladies, set Tasers to stun.

"Captain's Log" is Chris's usual opening to a video blog, first appearing in his 24 September 2008 video. It comes from popular sci-fi franchise Star Trek. In a typical episode, the captain, commander or other senior crew member would make an entry to log what has happened in the situation prior to the beginning of the episode. Most Star Trek Captain's Log entries are noticeably void of Tard Rage.

Sometimes, Chris gives an incorrect date (though the date is technically always incorrect since he says "Stardate" and gives a Gregorian Calendar date), or fails to provide a date at all. An example of Chris giving an incorrect date would be many of the entries made in July 2009. The CWCki has organized the Captain's Log entries by the date they were uploaded.

Interestingly enough, he is not a Star Trek fan,[1][2] as he's never even seen anything of it. His usage of the phrase most likely comes from his favorite television show, Family Guy, which contains references to Star Trek in virtually every episode. The Star Trek viewerbase generally doesn't consist of slow in the minds anyway.

He may have encountered the phrase from the Star Trek game he purchased as a result of the Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes competition, but knowing his gaming habits, he probably never played it.


Generally, a Captain's Log video is one in which Chris addresses his fanbase, a sort of video blog where he asks his True and Loyal fanbase to be his personal army or to express his hatred about some troll.

This is in contrast to other styles of Chris videos, such as those where he addresses a specific individual (often expecting people to know he's posted a video about them, such as Michael Snyder of The GAMe PLACe) or his music videos.

Occasionally a video is dead serious, and therefore not worthy of a being named a Captain's Log.

Captain's Blog

In November 2009, Chris began maintaining an irregular text blog on the CWCipedia, featuring updates on the progress of his comic and his quest to turn Sonichu into the heart of a multimedia empire. He also dubbed this a "Captain's Log" and marked the successive entries with "Stardates". It could be found halfway down the right column of the site's front page (and also at Template:Captain's Log, and he maintained an archive of his updates.

Fan videos

Star date
Stardate 7 March 2009
Made By RosechusPickle
Subject Matter Captain's Log
Video Type Complilation
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos


  1. Mailbag 3
  2. Mailbag 14


Relationships: 🏢 Attraction Location | 👧 Boyfriend-free girl | 😘 Darling | 🎓 Dating education | 👩 Gal-pal | 🌈 Gaybian | 💔 Heart level | 💑 Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor | 🔍 Love Quest | 😨 Noviophobia | 🏳️‍🌈 SLGBTQ | 💕 Sweetheart | 👷 Sweetheart from the Ground-Up

Sex: 🇨🇳 China | 💦 Comeuppance | 🦆 Duck | ⚤ Hanky-panky | 😍 Mass debating | ⚓ Navy | 🥒 Pickle | ☔ Raincoat | 🍹 Recycling | 😤 Virgin with rage | Virginia is for Virgins | ♀️ Women's rights

Himself: ⏰ Biological clock | 🍑 Butt garments | 📖 Captain's Log | 💩 DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS | 🤓 Fangs | Fuzzy-wuzzies | 🤥 Honest Content | 🎓 Honor roll | 🚧 Mental Block | 🚢 Monthly tugboat | 👙 Muscle bra | 🌵 Prickly-Wicklies | 🎲 Random-access humor | ⚖️ Scale of Respect | 💔 Heart level | ⚧ Tomgirl | 🔪 Un-clit

Comics: 📜 Anchuent Prophecy | Cherokian Clan | 🗞️ Da Update | 🦔 Electric Hedgehog Pokemon | ©️ Parody | 🍺 Reeb | Sub-Episodes | ⚡ Sweetbolt

Stressors: 🍀 4-cent_garbage | 🎮 HEXBox | ♂️ JERKS | 👮 Jerkops | ⚽ Kick the Autistic | 😆 Laughs Under Lucricities | 💼 Manajerks | 🍊 Pmurt | 🏫 Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens | 🚬 Tobacky

Cursewords: 👋🏻 Curse-ye-ha-me-ha | 👨‍❤️‍👨 Homos | 🤷 Naïve | 👨🏿 Niggos | 🍴 Pedofork | 🐢 Slow-in-the-minds

Minor CWC-isms

See also: Chris and English