Chris and health

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Chris, as any plain doctor is not in good health, considering his weight,lack of exercise, poor nutrition, refusal to take a shower, and his utter disregard to clean his surroundings, he has an extremely high chance of receiving a potential life threatening virus such as Cancer or Diabetes.

Nutrition

Chris' nutrition is a known fast food lover keen to eating at McDonald's 2-3 times a week (when most doctors limit fast food intake to 2 time a month). However it is speculated since his mother probably does not cook often due to her abnormal weight that the family must often eat out. On the rare occasion that Barbara does eat it usually involves Hot Dogs. Many, many times has Chris been shown to be a fatty for all kinds of food, eating excessively in public places and during parties. His complexion also gives clue to his daily nutrition, often showing various signs of acne and acne scarring. This could potentially show that Chris never drinks water, and that he drinks a lot of semen and CWC cola (which has been proven to increase erratic behavior.His most probable Nutritional intake is as follows:

  • Breakfast: Usually nothing because he usually sleeps from 6 am to 12 am, but on the rare occasion he does eat McDonald's, or some other fast food restaurant with breakfast options
  • Lunch: Fast Food in the Mall
  • Dinner: Eat out with family or poorly cooked meal by Barbara

Exercise

Chris has probably never done any exercise since leaving High School, which has contributed to his already round shape. This has also left his skin a frighting white that contrasts to the dark background of his room while making videos. When questioned about exercise he regarded standing up and playing Guitar Hero as exercise. Needless to say Chris is clearly delusional. In Chris' Parapapa contest entry, where he had to dance, during the video he seemed to get tired very easily from dancing for a mere 30 seconds and even stopped recording to take a break (evidenced by the abrupt change of position.


Hygiene

Chris' hygiene is perhaps the worst aspect of Chris. Many times has Chris regarded Axe as a substitute for a shower which often leaves him with a rather pungent odor. According to Emily, "rotten watermelons." According to Robert Simmons V, a variant of the homeless person stank. According to field agents, various degrees of shit, sometimes body odor masked with gallons of Axe. To my reports he smells like rotting fish in the sun with soiled underwear and a hint of AXE. Because of the lack of showers (or Barbara's inability to clean properly) the kitchen and bath tiles are covered with a disgusting black and brown mold. In several videos his neck sometimes seems to have an odd brownish crust around his neck. Some speculate it is simply a shadow, but it is most likely the years of dirt and grime that have built up from a lack of showers.

Chris's hair

Cassie, co-founder of Sonichu Girls, asked Chris for locks of his hairs so all the Sonichu Girls can have them as a souvenier.

Because Chris can't say no to a pretty lady (or a dude pretending to be one, lol), he went to the trouble of cutting his hair, placing it into small baggies with a certificate of authenticity signed by the big C himself.

Due to the Mexican postal service (insert derogatory joke about Mexicans here), it took several months for the hair to reach Cassie. When she finally did, it was a shock.

Cassie described the hair as being "greasy" and having an odd odor. While Chris promised 200 locks of hair, only 23 packets were made. Chris included a letter to Cassie, in English and Chris's version of Spanish, with each side having a Sonichu drawing, where the Spanish side has Sonichu in a sombrero (you know, BECAUSE ALL MEXICANS WEAR OVERSIZE SOMBREROS).

Mental Health

Other Deformities