Chris and hypocrisy

Hypocrisy is the act of pretending to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have. Hypocrisy is thus a kind of lie. Hypocrisy may come from a desire to hide from others actual motives or feelings.

Christian Weston Chandler is an accomplished hypocrite, holding others to standards he does not live up to. This is possibly due to the fact that he's an asshole that he's incapable of serious introspection and serious self-examination due to his autism. Chris believes that he is a blameless, near-perfect, holy creature, and blames all his problem on external factors like trolls, the homos, or the entire male species. In the past he's faulted store managers and mall security guards for complications during his Love Quest, although that's less relevant nowadays as he rarely leaves the house except for trips to McDonald's.

When not faulting other people for his problems, Chris relies "Autism" or "stress" as excuses for everything.

Chris's Mailbag answers are particularly rich sources of hypocrisy, where he readily gives advice to people that he himself will never follow.

Examples

"Grow up!"

In the latter half of 2009, Chris had become fond of telling his trolls and detractors to "grow up." This is coming from a 27-year-old man who has lived with his parents continually since graduating high school, has been employed for two months of his entire life, lives in a room full of toys, plays video games all day, refers to things that make him feel uncomfortable with childish euphemisms, dresses like a toddler, and is overly dependent on his parents (and the US government) to the point of absurdity.

Chris has not moved on past high school. In his late 20s he still wears his high school ring, uses his old high school colors in art projects (and when he wants to portray Native Americans), and keeps his high school yearbooks within easy reach. Chris's characters are examples of this as well. Despite ostensibly being 18-22 years old, the Sonichus sometimes don cheerleading outfits outside of sexual roleplay. Sonichu and Rosechu were originally 16 and 15 in the comics, respectively, before Chris retconned their ages so they can legally fuck. Despite this, he created a 14-year-old character who attends high school (in a scandalously revealing outfit). At age 27 Chris has dispensed dating advice to high school freshmen. A master of subtlety, Chris named one of the villains in his comics Count Graduon.

In short, Chris idealizes his youth while demonizing the present, as high school was a simpler time when he had a social circle, regular sleep patterns, and some purpose in life apart from creating terrible comics and debasing himself on the internet.

"GET A JOB, DUDE"

Chris also likes to tell people to get jobs while he himself has been employed for about two months of his life. On his resume, Chris lists playing Pokemon cards with small children as volunteer work, when in reality emotionally-stunted manchildren play Pokemon with little kids all the time. Chris sometimes claims he was supervising or babysitting the children involved, where in reality Chris himself required some amount of supervision not to fuck up the hobby store where he played cards.

Much like acclaimed author J.K. Rowling went on welfare for a year or two so she'd have the time to write the first Harry Potter book, Chris avoids searching for employment to focus on merchandising Sonichu. That takes an hour or two at most: Chris will draw and color a comic page or two or astonish Charlottesville residents with his Parkay skills in a bizarre marketing stunt. The rest of Chris's time is apparently spent playing video games, watching TV, and downloading extra content his video games. Chris has an abundance of free time where he could easily work a full time job and still find the time to draw Sonichu. That is, if Chris was employable. In reality Chris would impersonate Donald Duck and it would be Wendy's all over again.

"WINDOWS TO HELL"

While happily claiming disability when it suits him -- i.e. when he gets money or sympathy from it, Chris gladly reminds everyone that he's (high-functioning) autistic. However, Chris distances himself from others with autism, calling them "slow-in-the-minds" and "windows to hell." Chris at one point specifically excluded autistics from his criteria for a mom he can fuck sweetheart.

Much like the Nazis, Chris specifically excluded "the low functionally mentally handicapped," "the seriously physically deformed," and the "Autistic, high-functionally or otherwise." By his own admission, Chris is "sometimes retarded" and is abnormally proud that he is on the autism spectrum. In fact, right below his rigorous standards for his future girlfriend, he admits that he himself is autistic but claims "that's another story."

Chris denies that any of his Sonichu characters are autistic, even though they're all copyright-infringing little Mary Sues, need to be in the special classes Chris thought up and every so often display debilitating social anxiety around the opposite sex. Back when Chris made his own Pokemon cards he thought up an "autistic Pokemon" named Plautistic (who could disable its own attacks), but this only appears on the cover of Christian's Favorite Hits! and nowhere else.

In the mailbags Chris dismisses any similarity between autism and Asperger's syndrome, a less serious disorder on the autism spectrum. Chris went so far as to create a specific section for autism-related emails, and then a frothing rant on CWCipedia where he rails against those with Asperger's syndrome. The abridged version of Chris's reasoning is that by having a higher-functioning form of autism than Chris, they're diminishing Chris's own accomplishments. Chris considers everything he's done so far special because he has autism. To date, the only things Chris has actually accomplished are graduating from high school and a third-rate community college, which most people could do with little effort.

Despite likening the mentally handicapped to reanimated walking corpses, Chris bases a large part of his identity around having autism, whether he's triumphing over it by being able to mow a lawn or he's using it as an excuse to sit around and play Little Big Planet all day. Incidentally, this behavior is actually somewhat common with teenage girls with bipolar disorder (real, self-diagnosed or imagined), where they'll brag about how terribly bad their bipolar disorder is, how much lithium they're on, and so forth. Most grow out of it by the time they're 18.