Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles
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Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles is Chris's extremely dumb and narcissistic game idea where you play Chris trying to fight Jerkops to find a true sweetheart, with Sonichu and Rosechu as useless, but determined, sidekicks. There is no available information on the genre or mechanics of the game.
Originally, Chris was determined to see Sonichu made into a game, but based on his interactions during Miyamoto Saga and in The Sonichu Chronicles, Chris seems more determined to make his own game where it's all about him and his failure to adjust to adult life.
The game is currently awaiting development beyond the front cover and the advertisement, both of which in themselves break innumerable copyrights. Please note that while he wants the game published for PS2, PS3, and Wii, it should absolutely never be made for the Hex Bawx.
Cover
In a bold decision in graphic design, the cover depicts Chris having already won his battle, staring determinedly out at an empty back yard littered with the broken iconography of his enemies. While most games presumably end in the hero overcoming his obstacles, only daring experiments in literary form (such as Awesome Possum Kicks Doctor Machino's Butt) actually establish victory before the start button is pressed.
References made on box art:
- 4-cent garbage symbol underneath CWC's foot
- The cracked helmet of Mary Lee Walsh
- Merried Seinor Comic's sword arm from Sub-Episode 4
- A Delicious Wooden Badge referenced on the cover of issue #4
- The remains of the purple staff containing Count Graduon
- Naitsirhc's blue goggles that he wore before his codpiece-wearing homosexual makeover
- The gray thing with red things stemming from it is the Robotnik medallion that Sonic showed Sonichu in Episode 5
- Chris's Gitar of Fail (pointing in the wrong direction compared to the strap across his chest)
- Chris's car with a Sonichu license plate.
For a time, the CWC's Adult Chronicles illustration graced a console cover attached to Chris's original PS3. Chris preserved that cover as a "memento" after destroying the console, but then transplanted it onto a new (old fat model) PS3 that he got with your money shortly afterwards.
Psychology
This "game" is a clear indication of the self importance Chris has build up about himself, that anyone would be interested in playing a game where the "hero" is an Autistic, Guitar Wielding, overweight, disgusting pig of a man fighting trolls on the internet is beyond any normal, rational thinking human being, but for Chris, its just another day in the park.
This single article of evidence proves that Chris's psyche is broken beyond repair. Up until this "game", the Sonichu franchise games have at least featured Sonichu as the main character. This game has Sonichu tangentially featured as a disembodied, floating chest and head. It's important to realize that Chris didn't even bother to finish the drawing of Sonichu and Rosechu, they are merely half finished ghostly apparitions in the corner of the cover. The amount of narcissism that this "game" presents simply oozes out of the poorly drawn, even for Chris's standards, cover.
The word Chronicle denotes that this is a historical document, that is cataloging a series of events, in chronological order. We must therefore understand that this "game" is designed to be the ultimate in unwarranted self importance, describing the minutia of "events" that has defined Chris as an Adult: getting trolled.
The most important thing to take away from this "game" is that it is not part of the Sonichu canon, it was not designed to fit in with Sonichu Advance, Sonichu Adventure, etc. This game was made after the fact (due to the inclusion of the 4-cent garbage logo), and each and every one of you is to blame for this blight on the face of the internet.
Shigeru Miyamoto's response to the game
Gallery
External links
* The Sonichu franchise in games *
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