Difference between revisions of "Cutco"

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[[Image:Cutco logo.png|center]]
[[Image:Cutco logo.png|center]]
[[Image:VectorLogo.png|right|thumb|Of course it's not a pyramid scheme; just look at the logo.]]
[[Image:CutcoUltimateset.jpg|right|thumb|200px|The knives that Chris never cut himself or anyone else with.]]
[[Image:CutcoUltimateset.jpg|right|thumb|The knives that Chris-chan never cut himself or anyone else with]]


'''Cutco''' are sellers of overpriced and mediocre quality knives and the only other employer [[Chris]] has had besides [[Wendy's]]. Chris was employed by Cutco from June to September [[2003]].
'''Cutco''', officially known as '''Alcas''' during Chris's stint there, is a multi-level marketing company that sells overpriced, medium-quality knives. [[Chris]] was employed by Cutco from June to September [[2003]], and it remains the only significant employer Chris has ever had besides [[Wendy's]]. It's also the last kind of job Chris has ever had to date (not counting his stints as a "gym leader" for the [[Pokemon TCG]]).


__TOC__
{{-}}
==Employment==
Chris describes his background with Cutco in the [[Miyamoto Saga]] e-mails:
Chris describes his background with Cutco in the [[Miyamoto Saga]] e-mails:


{{quote|One summer I was employed as a Salesman for Cutco products; the owners of the "Double-D" Edge and the Super Shears that can cut a penny to create a pig-tail. Lifetime Guarantee on sharpness. The boss left at Summer's end, and I lost that job. FYI, I was very cautious with my samples of cutary ''[sic]'', and I do not have any intentions of harming myself or anyone else. My record is clean.|Chris, clarifying that he is not [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|emo]]}}
{{quote|One summer I was employed as a Salesman for Cutco products; the owners of the "Double-D" Edge and the Super Shears that can cut a penny to create a [[Little Pig Blanket|pig-tail]]. Lifetime Guarantee on sharpness. The boss left at Summer's end, and I lost that job. FYI, I was very cautious with my samples of cutary, and I do not have any intentions of harming myself or anyone else. My record is clean.|Chris, clarifying that he is not [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|emo]]}}


Cutco knives really do cut pennies to create pig tails and they do have a lifetime guarantee, but there are higher quality knives at half the cost of Cutco. Cutco, under the guise of Vector Marketing,  is also a notorious borderline scam.<ref>http://marketingpr.suite101.com/article.cfm/vector_marketing_is_not_a_scam</ref> While arguably not an outright scam, they will hire more or less anyone who is willing to pay $150 upfront for a "demo kit" and get people to buy overpriced knife sets on commission through leads (in other words, Chris was not going door to door). They target high schoolers and college students along with people with no real experience (such as autistic manchildren) for these salesman (or as they like to call them positions.)
[[Image:147-LightKnife.jpg|right|thumb|200px|Wonder where the inspiration for this card came from?]]


It is unknown if Chris was ever able to sell a knife set to any of his leads, as even people who aren't autistic, corpulent manchildren have trouble doing so. It is possible he did sell so people could get him out of their house. In reality though, the only commission he ever made was from his parents who probably bought something from him to make him feel better. Chris touched back on the subject on his [[CWCipedia]] entry, explaining that his Cutco job "was ONLY a Summer gig" and "it may have gone longer if my boss had not left Charlottesville for good in August".<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#Mary_Meets_Christian</ref> Chris is oblivious to the fact that his "boss" pretty much took his money and skipped town.  
Cutco, under the guise of Vector Marketing, is a notorious borderline scam.<ref>http://marketingpr.suite101.com/article.cfm/vector_marketing_is_not_a_scam</ref> While arguably not an outright scam, they will more or less hire anyone who is willing to pay [[Chris_and_money|$150]] upfront for a "demo kit" and get people to buy overpriced knife sets on commission through [[Wikipedia:Sales lead|leads]] (in other words, Chris was not going door to door). They target high schoolers and college students along with people with no real experience (such as [[Autism|autistic]] manchildren) for these "sales positions."


==Sauces==
It is unknown if Chris was ever able to sell a knife set to any of his leads, as even people who aren't autistic, [[Obesity|corpulent]] manchildren have trouble doing so. Chris touched back on the subject on his [[CWCipedia]] entry, noting that "[my status as an employee] may have gone longer if my boss had not left [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]] for good in August."<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#Mary_Meets_Christian</ref> Chris is oblivious to the fact that his "boss" pretty much took his money and skipped town. He later told [[Vanessa Hudgens]] that his boss "got replaced."<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 3]]</ref>
 
Chris took the Cutco job at a critical moment in his personal life, as he had realized several months earlier that he needed a girlfriend. He seems to have hoped that the job could help him with his [[Love Quest|sweetheart search]]; he remembered that it gave him the opportunity to "socialize." He believed that the job had allowed him to utilize his "good people/social skills," and he was disappointed that it "was ONLY a Summer gig." It was at this point, with a growing sense of desperation and urgency, that he made his first [[Attraction Sign]], which stated that, among his other positive qualities, he was a "Natural salesperson."
 
==Other mentions==
[[Image:VectorLogo.png|right|thumb|Flipping over the logo of Cutco subsidiary Vector gets you an [[wikipedia:Pyramid scheme|accurate summation]] of their business.]]
 
*Chris put a Cutco outlet in [[CWCville Shopping Center]].
*After Chris [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|crushed his dildo]] on 6 [[February 2009]], he used a pair of Cutco Super Shears to cut it into pieces.<ref>[[Mumble 7]]</ref>
*Chris used a Cutco knife to make his [[Chris and fashion|"Gay Trucker" denim top]].<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]</ref> We can assume from these two references that he may have a number of unsold Cutco knives in his possession.
*On Thanksgiving of 2016, Chris posted on Facebook that he used the Cutco "Spatula Spreader" to prepare his Thanksgiving dinner.<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Happy Thanksgiving! Brought to you by Cutco]]</ref> [[Chris and money|It's worth noting that Cutco's "Spatula Spreader" costs almost $70 while other brands go for about $25.]]<ref>[https://www.cutco.com/products/product.jsp?item=spatula-spreader#sm.0001pftq8m19qmf9epxfzy32m90hh]</ref> Chris states that he had his for "over a decade."
 
==Sources==
<references/>
<references/>
==External links==
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cutco Wikipedia article]


==See also==
==See also==
*[[Wendy's]] - The only other minimum wage company desperate enough to hire Mr. Weston Chandler.
*[[Chris and work]]
*[[Pocket knife]]


==External links==
* [[Wikipedia:Cutco|Wikipedia article]]
{{Places}}
{{Places}}
[[Category: Jobs]]
[[Category: Jobs]]

Revision as of 17:53, 15 January 2020

Cutco logo.png
The knives that Chris never cut himself or anyone else with.

Cutco, officially known as Alcas during Chris's stint there, is a multi-level marketing company that sells overpriced, medium-quality knives. Chris was employed by Cutco from June to September 2003, and it remains the only significant employer Chris has ever had besides Wendy's. It's also the last kind of job Chris has ever had to date (not counting his stints as a "gym leader" for the Pokemon TCG).

Employment

Chris describes his background with Cutco in the Miyamoto Saga e-mails:

One summer I was employed as a Salesman for Cutco products; the owners of the "Double-D" Edge and the Super Shears that can cut a penny to create a pig-tail. Lifetime Guarantee on sharpness. The boss left at Summer's end, and I lost that job. FYI, I was very cautious with my samples of cutary, and I do not have any intentions of harming myself or anyone else. My record is clean.
Chris, clarifying that he is not emo
Wonder where the inspiration for this card came from?

Cutco, under the guise of Vector Marketing, is a notorious borderline scam.[1] While arguably not an outright scam, they will more or less hire anyone who is willing to pay $150 upfront for a "demo kit" and get people to buy overpriced knife sets on commission through leads (in other words, Chris was not going door to door). They target high schoolers and college students along with people with no real experience (such as autistic manchildren) for these "sales positions."

It is unknown if Chris was ever able to sell a knife set to any of his leads, as even people who aren't autistic, corpulent manchildren have trouble doing so. Chris touched back on the subject on his CWCipedia entry, noting that "[my status as an employee] may have gone longer if my boss had not left Charlottesville for good in August."[2] Chris is oblivious to the fact that his "boss" pretty much took his money and skipped town. He later told Vanessa Hudgens that his boss "got replaced."[3]

Chris took the Cutco job at a critical moment in his personal life, as he had realized several months earlier that he needed a girlfriend. He seems to have hoped that the job could help him with his sweetheart search; he remembered that it gave him the opportunity to "socialize." He believed that the job had allowed him to utilize his "good people/social skills," and he was disappointed that it "was ONLY a Summer gig." It was at this point, with a growing sense of desperation and urgency, that he made his first Attraction Sign, which stated that, among his other positive qualities, he was a "Natural salesperson."

Other mentions

Flipping over the logo of Cutco subsidiary Vector gets you an accurate summation of their business.

Sources

See also

External links

The places of Chris's life

Chris's homes: 14 Branchland Court (Chris's room | Chris's kitchen | Work Room | Yard | 2014 house fire) | Cloverleaf Lakes Apartments | Surreywood Subdivision | Newberry Towne Subdivision | Rental House | Central Virginia Regional Jail | Western State Hospital | Big Island house

Chris's education: Greene County Primary School | James Madison University | Providence Middle School | Nathanael Greene Elementary School | Manchester High School | Piedmont Virginia Community College (not to be confused with Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens)

Chris's churches: Grace Baptist Church | Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church

Chris's jobs: Cutco Cutlery | Wendy's | Books-a-million | Toys “R” Us | Sonichu Entertainment of America

Other attraction locations: University of Virginia | Charlottesville Fashion Square (Abercrombie & Fitch | Chick-fil-A | Pac Sun | Starbucks) | Wal-Mart (McDonald's) | Target | The GAMe PLACe | Impulse Gay Social-Club | Fridays After Five

Conventions: Animate! Raleigh | Anime Mid-Atlantic | BronyCon (2017 • 2018 • 2019) | MAGfest | OmegaCon | TooManyGames

Other places Chris has visited: Anytime Fitness | Best Buy | Burger King | Country Cookin | "Create-a-Crear Workshop" | Cville Pride | The End Games | GameStop | Golden Corral | McIntire Park | Region Ten | Snooky's Pawn Shop | Taco Bell


Cities of the World: Albemarle County (Advance Mills) | Bedford County (Big Island) | Charlottesville | Chesterfield County (Midlothian) | Greene County (Barboursville | Ruckersville | Stanardsville) | Harrisonburg | Lynchburg | Richmond

Countries of the World: Australia | Australatina | China | England | Germany | Italy | Iraq | Japan | Mexico | Molvanîa | Niger | Russia | United States (California | District of Columbia | Maryland | Ohio | Pennsylvania | Virginia | Washington)

Extra-terrestrial locations: Dimensions | The Moon | The Sun


Map of Chris's World