Difference between revisions of "Daniel Weston"

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[[Image:DanielWeston.JPG|thumb|right|Daniel Weston]]
[[Image:DanielWeston.JPG|thumb|right|Portrait of Daniel Weston, c. 1623.          Note the [[Creepy stare|blank stare]]... Doesn't it remind you of a [[Chris|certain somone]]?]]


[[Image:MayflowerBoat.jpg|thumb|right|The ''Mayflower''<br><br>Biological warfare from England by dumping their retards into the American gene pool.]]
{{quote|As a matter of fact, among my, uh, mother's side in the uh, ancestral traits *[[Stress sigh|sighs]]* we have uh, we have been traced down to Daniel Weston, who was on the main--''Mayflower'' voyage.|[[Captain's Log]], [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|Stardate November 7th, 2007]]}}


{{quote|As a matter of fact, among my, uh, mother's side in the uh, ancestral traits [sighs] we have uh, we have been traced down to Daniel Weston, who was on the main--''Mayflower'' voyage.|Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007}}
'''Daniel Weston''' is one of the people who Chris claims to be one of his illustrious ancestors, through whom he is descended from [[Anne Boleyn]]<ref name="publicannouncement" />, [[List of Chris's lies|whose only daughter died childless]]. According to Chris, Daniel Weston's ancestor was [[Wikipedia:Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland|Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland]], who was in turn related to Anne Boleyn.<ref>[[Catie Date Conversation Transcript#Chris's Heritage]]</ref>


According to [[Chris]], '''Daniel Weston''' was one of his illustrious ancestors. He was allegedly aboard the ''Mayflower'', the ship that sailed the pilgrim fathers to America in 1620. However, according to all known passenger lists of the ''Mayflower'', there was never a man named Weston aboard...<ref>[http://genforum.genealogy.com/weston/messages/54.html Genealogy Forum]</ref> Weston, according to Chris, was descended from [[Anne Boleyn]], though that in turn [[Fail|raises the question]] of why a descendant of royalty (especially Catholic royalty) would be fleeing England on the ''Mayflower'' (which was full of Puritans) in the first place.
In 2007, Chris claimed that Daniel Weston was aboard the ''[[Wikipedia:Mayflower|Mayflower]]'', the ship that carried the [[Wikipedia:Pilgrim Fathers|Pilgrim Fathers]] to [[United States of America|America]] in [[Pre-1980#Pre-1900|1620]];<ref name="publicannouncement">[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]</ref> however, according to all known passenger lists of the ''Mayflower'', there was never a man named Weston aboard.<ref>[http://genforum.genealogy.com/weston/messages/54.html Genealogy Forum]</ref>


This is either complete bullshit from Chris, or his mother easing the awful truth that he's in fact just descended from a bunch of poor, inbred, socially backward, retarded hillbillies like everyone else believes. In fact, Chris's earliest known maternal ancestor was a hick whose grandson was an alcoholic, adulterous failure in life, who in turn would have a great-grandson who is just a failure in life.<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d9842.html#P1254</ref>
Some fans suspect that Chris actually meant to say [[wikipedia:Pilgrim Fathers|Thomas Weston]], an English merchant who funded The Mayflower, although this makes no more sense than the prior account.  


When confronted about it in the [[Mailbag]], Chris brushes the criticism aside, claiming that Daniel Weston was simply a pilgrim, and that he had never said that he was actually on the ''Mayflower''.<ref>[[Mailbag 27#A family history of failure]]</ref>
Chris later revised his theory, saying that Daniel Weston was actually not on the ''Mayflower,'' although "he made his voyage later on."<ref>[[Mailbag 27#A family history of failure]]</ref> This was essentially the story he related to [[Catherine]] in 2014, although he could provide no clear details. This highly nebulous revision is no more persuasive than the original version, and neither version of the story accounts for Chris being descended from a queen who died childless.
 
These flatly impossible notions were probably spoonfed to Chris by his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] to make him feel special. Indeed, he credits her with doing the historical research. In reality, Chris's earliest known maternal ancestor was a [[Ruckersville, VA|hick]] named William Wynn, who had a grandson named Robert claimed to be a lecherous [[Alcohol|alcoholic]] (Barb's grandfather).<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html#P141</ref>


==References==
==References==
<references/>


<references/>
==See also==
*[[Anne Boleyn]]
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]]
*[[Barbara Chandler]]


{{People}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Weston, Daniel}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Weston, Daniel}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Dead]]
[[Category:Dead]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]

Revision as of 13:23, 16 December 2015

Portrait of Daniel Weston, c. 1623. Note the blank stare... Doesn't it remind you of a certain somone?
As a matter of fact, among my, uh, mother's side in the uh, ancestral traits *sighs* we have uh, we have been traced down to Daniel Weston, who was on the main--Mayflower voyage.
Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007

Daniel Weston is one of the people who Chris claims to be one of his illustrious ancestors, through whom he is descended from Anne Boleyn[1], whose only daughter died childless. According to Chris, Daniel Weston's ancestor was Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland, who was in turn related to Anne Boleyn.[2]

In 2007, Chris claimed that Daniel Weston was aboard the Mayflower, the ship that carried the Pilgrim Fathers to America in 1620;[1] however, according to all known passenger lists of the Mayflower, there was never a man named Weston aboard.[3]

Some fans suspect that Chris actually meant to say Thomas Weston, an English merchant who funded The Mayflower, although this makes no more sense than the prior account.

Chris later revised his theory, saying that Daniel Weston was actually not on the Mayflower, although "he made his voyage later on."[4] This was essentially the story he related to Catherine in 2014, although he could provide no clear details. This highly nebulous revision is no more persuasive than the original version, and neither version of the story accounts for Chris being descended from a queen who died childless.

These flatly impossible notions were probably spoonfed to Chris by his mother to make him feel special. Indeed, he credits her with doing the historical research. In reality, Chris's earliest known maternal ancestor was a hick named William Wynn, who had a grandson named Robert claimed to be a lecherous alcoholic (Barb's grandfather).[5]

References

See also

    People