Daniel Weston

Daniel Weston

File:MayflowerBoat.jpg

The Mayflower.

“	As a matter of fact, among my, uh, mother's side in the uh, ancestral traits [sighs] we have uh, we have been traced down to Daniel Weston, who was on the main--Mayflower voyage.	”
Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007

According to Chris, Daniel Weston was one of his illustrious ancestors. He was allegedly aboard the Mayflower, the ship that sailed the Pilgrim Fathers to America in 1620. However, according to all known passenger lists of the Mayflower, there was never a man named Weston aboard... Weston, according to Chris, was descended from Anne Boleyn, though that in turn raises the question of why a descendant of royalty (especially Catholic royalty) would be fleeing England on the Mayflower (which was full of Puritans) in the first place. There is however, a possibility that Chris actually meant to say Thomas Weston, an English merchant who funded The Mayflower. Chris later admitted that Daniel Weston was not on the Mayflower and that "he made his voyage later on."

This is either complete bullshit from Chris, or his mother easing the awful truth that he's in fact just descended from a bunch of poor, socially backward, inbred, retarded hillbillies. In fact, Chris's earliest known maternal ancestor was a hick whose grandson was an alcoholic, adulterous failure in life, who in turn would have a great-grandson who is just a failure in life.

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