Donald Duck impersonation

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What Donald Duck would probably look like had Chris's impersonation manifested.
Break the Ice with a joke: try not to use an offensive joke. Or, you can do what I do, if you can, just imitate good ol’ Donald Duck. Quack! Quack!
Dating tips from the guru, Sonichu's News Dash[1].
I...oh my God, I'm shaking. What was that voice? Th- that was hell...
Clyde, Mumble 4

Chris is pretty good at impersonating Donald Duck. That is, a deranged, syphilitic, crack-addicted Donald Duck that will only show up in your darkest nightmares. Although unlikely, some trolls maintain that when he worked at a fast-food restaurant, he was actually fired for this impersonation. Because it might have been one of many grievances that Chris's former employers had, there might be some truth to this claim.

This impression is an achievement of which Chris is extremely proud. He even goes so far as to mention it in casual conversation, and suggests other people to use it when hitting on women. Apparently, in Chris's mind chicks dig creepy voices and Disney characters. But then again, this is a tamer piece of the usual honest content that he subjects women to. He probably misunderstood some advice suggesting that showing off one's talents is a good way to get a girl's attention, so Chris believes that he has a talent for impersonation. This might impress a 10 year old, but will not entice china.

Disturbingly, Chris has also been known to do this impersonation whilst masturbating.

The impersonation

Chris talks to ducks

In one of the Megan E-mails, Chris mentioned that he talked to ducks in a park when Megan stood him up on their "date", implying that he used the same Donald Duck imitation routine to break the language barrier.

Could it be that Chris is actually a superhuman with the extraordinary ability to talk to our anatidaean brethren?..

References

See also