Difference between revisions of "JERKS"

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[[Image:140-AJerk.jpg|thumb|Chris even divides his [[trading card game]] monsters into JERKS and females]]
{{Quote|Well, I do not like the majority of the male population regardless. The straight ones take the women away. The damn [[homo]] males not only [tried to push their gross ways onto me, but have emotionally and mentally devastated me in their shit [[Troll]]/Cyber-Bully ways, and they have mislabeled me and [[Sonichu]] as such. Damned males piss me the hell off.|Chris, in a [[Facebook]] post}}


'''JERK''' is [[Chris's]] term for men in general, including those who are not [[homos]] or [[jerkops]]. The canonical definition is "a MAN, other than myself, CWC, and my father, [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]]"<ref>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref>
[[Image:Getting Aquainted Chemistry Class.jpg|thumb|250px|Notice how Chris refrained from asking any JERKS, including himself.]]


For example, Chris labeled every single one of his male [[MySpace]] friends as a JERK in his personal list. A few "respectable males" are apparently exempt from JERK status, such as [[George W. Bush]] and [[Barack Obama]] (and possibly [[Congrats, Jack Black|Jack Black]]).
'''JERK''' is [[Chris]]'s term for men in general, including those who are not [[niggos]], [[homos]], or [[jerkop|jerkops]]. The canonical definition is "a MAN, other than myself, CWC, and my father, [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]]"<ref>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref>
 
For example, Chris labeled every single one of his male [[MySpace]] friends as a jerk in his personal list. A few "respectable males" are apparently exempt from jerk status, such as [[George W. Bush]] and [[Barack Obama]] (and possibly [[Congrats, Jack Black|Jack Black]]).


One reason is the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]].
One reason is the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]].
In more recent years, he's taken to using the word "male" in the place of jerk to express his disdain for other men. His recent [[Tomgirl Saga|transgender antics]] also suggests that he has a lot of self hatred about being male.


==Use as a denominator==
==Use as a denominator==
Although he has defined the term "jerk" to mean all men save him and his father, the usage of the term seems to apply to any person who gets in the way of Chris doing something that he wants to do. If Chris wants [[china]] and can't get it because the object of his affection has a significant other, that significant other is a jerk. Chris wanted to win the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], but [[Adam Stackhouse]] got in the way, therefore he is a jerk — allegedly because he broke the rules of the contest and used music, actually because he spoiled Chris's plans for sex with [[Megan Schroeder]]. Whether your intention was to obstruct Chris's efforts or not, you are a jerk for presenting a barrier to his goal.
Although he has defined the term "jerk" to mean all men save him and his father, the usage of the term seems to apply to any person who gets in the way of Chris doing something that he wants to do. If Chris wants [[china]] and can't get it because the object of his affection has a significant other, that significant other is a jerk. Chris wanted to win the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], but [[Adam Stackhouse]] got in the way, therefore he is a jerk — allegedly because he broke the rules of the contest and used music, actually because he spoiled Chris's plans for sex with [[Megan Schroeder]]. Whether your intention was to obstruct Chris's efforts or not, you are a jerk for presenting a barrier to his goal.


Even being more talented than Chris, or more socially well-adjusted (no great feat, considering Chris) is enough to make one a jerk in Chris's eyes. Men with girlfriends did not specifically intend to cock-block Chris; they only did what well-adjusted people do and asked out a girl they liked. Adam Stackhouse simply made a good video for a competition he wanted to win and had no intention of thwarting an autistic's plans to seduce his best friend (again, the PaRappa showdown). In Chris's [[Ego|self-centered]] way of thinking, though, they were all out to get him.
Even being more talented than Chris, or more socially well-adjusted (no great feat, considering Chris) is enough to make one a jerk in [[The Creepy Stare|Chris's eyes]]. Men with girlfriends did not specifically intend to cock-block Chris; they only did what well-adjusted people do and asked out a girl they liked. Adam Stackhouse simply made a good video for a competition he wanted to win and had no intention of thwarting an autistic's plans to seduce his best friend (again, the ''PaRappa'' Showdown). In Chris's [[Chris and his Ego|self-centered]] way of thinking, though, [[Kick the Autistic|they were all out to get him]].
 
Chris has stated that all men are jerks [[I am STRAIGHT|"because they are rude, crude, and inconsiderate... causing wars and such"]]. However, all world leaders are among the few males he respects. This carries the implication that he considers most normal men, rather than national leaders, as responsible for most wars.


==Use as a prefix/suffix==
==Use as a prefix/suffix==
 
Chris derides certain professions by using "jerk" as a prefix (as with [[Jerkop]]) or a suffix (as with [[Manajerk]]). The addition of the prefix/suffix comes from their actions which, again, prevented Chris from getting what he wanted. Never mind the fact that managers and police officers are simply doing their job when they stop creepy patrons from [[Attraction sign|soliciting members of the public for sex]]. They have obstructed his quest for [[china]] and so are jerks. Due to [[Chris and the Law|repeated encounters]] with these professions, Chris has taken to describing any member of their ranks as a jerk.
Chris derides certain professions by using "jerk" as a prefix (as with [[jerkop]]) or a suffix (as with [[manajerk]]). The addition of the prefix/suffix comes from their actions which, again, prevented Chris from getting what he wanted. Never mind the fact that managers and police officers are simply doing their job when they stop creepy patrons from [[Attraction_sign|soliciting members of the public for sex]]. They have obstructed his quest for [[china]] and so are jerks. Due to repeated encounters with these professions, Chris has taken to describing any member of their ranks as a jerk.


==Varying usage==
==Varying usage==
 
Despite the fact that Chris has openly declared that '''all''' men are jerks, in practice he doesn't seem to automatically apply the term to every man he meets. [[Robert Simmons V]] was held in some regard before he turned troll against Chris. [[Joseph Herring]] was considered a high school friend (although Chris drew him as an ugly, zit-scarred freak in his comic). Chris considered [[Joshua Martinez]] a friend (though he still tried to get [[ED]] to ruin him) as long as he thought Josh would help him score some china. John Schroeder, [[Megan]]'s brother, was even the main character in one of Chris's fake [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|video games]]. Once again, however, that was probably a side-effect of Chris's lust for Megan.
Despite the fact that Chris has openly declared that '''all''' men are jerks, in practice he doesn't seem to automatically apply the term to every man he meets. [[Robert Simmons V]] was held in some regard before he turned troll against Chris. [[Joseph Herring]] was considered a high-school friend (although Chris drew him as an ugly zit-scarred freak in his comic). Chris considered [[Joshua Martinez]] a friend (though he still tried to get [[ED]] to ruin him) as long as he thought Josh would help him score some china. John Schroeder, [[Megan]]'s brother, was even the main character in one of Chris's fake [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|video games]]. Once again, however, that was probably a side-effect of Chris's lust for Megan.
 
Given that Chris doesn't rigidly adhere to his original definition of the word, we can reach one of two conclusions:
 
1. Chris does not necessarily regard all men as jerks.
 
2. Chris still considers them jerks, but will play along for selfish reasons until they can no longer help him.
 
Based on what we know, most of us are betting on the latter.
 
==Connection to behavior==
 
Wiktionary defines a [[wiktionary:jerk|jerk]] as '''A [[Chris|person]] with [[lies|unlikable]] or [[Honest Content|obnoxious]] qualities and behavior, typically [[Chris and Anger|mean]], [[Chris and his Ego|self-centered]] or disagreeable, and often not very [[Honor roll|intelligent.]]'''
 
In the cases of people Chris has labeled a jerk, this is often very far from the truth. People Chris has labeled in this way have been known for all manner of redeemable qualities such as [[Bagget|heroism]], [[Mary Lee Walsh|having a good sense of responsibility]] to the people under their care and being [[Adam Stackhouse|uniquely talented]]. Indeed, simply having a girlfriend hardly seems a good reason to be labeled a jerk. Then again, Chris is not well-known for acknowledging the accomplishments of those other than himself.


==Chris as the embodiment of JERK==
==Chris as the embodiment of JERK==
 
[[wikipedia|Wiktionary]] defines a [[wiktionary:jerk|jerk]] as "a person with [[Chris and anger|unlikable]] or [[Chris and his Ego|obnoxious]] [[Chris and race|qualities]] and [[Women's rights|behavior]], [[Death threats|typically]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|mean]], [[Christian Love Day (video)|self-centered]] or [[List of places that have banned Chris|disagreeable]], and [[Honor roll|often not very intelligent]]." Ironically, or perhaps better put, [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritically]], Chris's actions make him more deserving of the term "jerk" than most people he applies it to.
Ironically, or perhaps better put, hypocritically, Chris's actions make him more deserving of the term jerk than most people he applies it to.
 
===Unlikable or obnoxious qualities and behavior===
 
The fact that he receives a [[monthly tugboat]] for nothing while [[Chris_and_money#But_wait.2C_Chris_isn.27t_employed.21|feeling he deserves it]] has been a major sticking point for all CWC-watchers. Having a [[Speech_Impediment|whiny]] voice and [[Chris_and_English|a terrible command of English]] while touting himself as [[Honor roll|talented and well educated]] are a major cause of further irritation. Also, the fact that he feels deserving of so many things while [[Vivitheg's_AIM_chat|doing so little to achieve them]] make most scream in agony at the levels of obnoxiousness.
 
===Mean===
 
Chris repeatedly [[Death threats|makes threats]] and has [[Chris and anger|outbursts of anger]].
 
===Self-centered===
 
Any man who makes his own [[CWCville|universe]] where he rules as a god is probably not the most considerate of others.
 
Also, [[Ryan_Cash|this]], [[PANDAHALO#Death|this]] and [[Chris_and_religion#Chris_the_Shaman|especially this]].
 
===Disagreeable===
 
The fact that Chris can't stop hating on [[Homo|homos]], hurl [[Chris and race#Not a racist?|racial slurs]], has a very [[Chris_and_sex|skewed opinion on women]], selectively [[Chris_and_religion|adapts the bible]] to fit his own beliefs and just generally shows no common sense regarding any topic makes him highly disagreeable to almost anyone of any opinion. This may also now disqualify Bush from exemption from the rule, as Bush has previously stated his strong support for the abstinence of young women, something against which Chris is very, very firmly set.
 
===Often not very Intelligent===
 
[[List of Chris's sweethearts|More]] [[fail|like]] [[Honor roll|all]] [[Attraction Sign|of]] [[trolls|the]] [[CWC-isms|time.]]


==The list of males Chris doesn't hate==
==The list of males Chris doesn't hate==
The most recent version of T.L.O.M.C.D.H. was provided in [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|Chris's annotations to his ED article]]. There it goes as follows:
The most recent version of T.L.O.M.C.D.H. was provided in [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|Chris's annotations to his ED article]]. There it goes as follows:
# [[Chris]] himself;
# [[Chris]] himself
# [[Bob Chandler|his father]];
# [[Bob Chandler|His father]]
# "[[Santa Clause]]" [sic];
# "[[Santa Clause]]" [sic]
# [[Jesus]];
# [[Jesus]]
# [[God]];
# [[God]]
# [[Barack Obama|the President of the United States]];
# The [[George W. Bush|former]] [[Barack Obama|Presidents of the United States]]
# [[Molvanîa|all the World Leaders]];
# [[Molvanîa|All the World Leaders]]
# ALL male acquaintances and friends, past and present.
# ALL male acquaintances and friends, past and present.


By thoroughly analyzing this information, we can conclude that:
However, in the same [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|annotations]], Chris confusingly states that his [[noviophobia]] is "Out-Of-Date". He goes on to say that he only hates trolls and "da haytahs" now, but also states that he is cool with the "Hating 99% of the World's Men" theory. In any case, the list is at least applicable to ''some'' point in Chris's biography, even if he [[Lies|"got over it"]].
* ... [[Fail|he still believes in "Santa Clause"]];
* ... he values "Santa Clause" much better that [[God]] or [[Jesus]], since he put him before them in this list;
* ... he thinks God has a clearly-defined gender and is male;
* ... he thinks God and Jesus are separate beings;
* ... he hates all the (male) Saints (except St. Nicholas of Myra of course), Apostles, Martyrs, Angels (if he believes them to have a gender), priests, monks, etc. etc.;
* ... he doesn't hate only the current holder of the U.S. Presidential seat. He probably hates [[Bush]] again now that [[Obama]] is President;
* ... he hates all the other male persons in the U.S. Government, starting with the V.P.;
* ... he thinks of, e.g., [[CWCville|Kim Jong-il and Robert Mugabe]] much better than of most of the male population of Earth;
* ... if Chris had lived in the 1930-40s, he wouldn't hate Hitler, Mussolini, Hirohito or Goebbels (but would hate the Allied troops who fought them);
* ... he probably assumes "all the World Leaders" are [[Women's rights|male]];
* ... he doesn't hate some IRL [[trolls]] like [[Mimms]] or [[Joshua Martinez]], as they were his friends/acquaintances in the past;
* ... he still hates most of the male population of Earth, including most honorable and heroic people.
 
However, in the same [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|annotations]] Chris confusingly states that his [[Noviophobia]] is "Out-Of-Date," and that he only hates trolls and da haytahs now. Then again, he states at the same time that he is "cool" with the "hating 99% of the world's men" theory. In any case, the list is at least applicable to ''some'' point in Chris's biography, even if he [[Lies|"got over it"]] by now;


==Sauces==
==References==
<references />
<references />


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{{CWC-isms}}
{{CWC-isms}}


[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]][[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Revision as of 17:01, 14 September 2017

Well, I do not like the majority of the male population regardless. The straight ones take the women away. The damn homo males not only [tried to push their gross ways onto me, but have emotionally and mentally devastated me in their shit Troll/Cyber-Bully ways, and they have mislabeled me and Sonichu as such. Damned males piss me the hell off.
Chris, in a Facebook post
Notice how Chris refrained from asking any JERKS, including himself.

JERK is Chris's term for men in general, including those who are not niggos, homos, or jerkops. The canonical definition is "a MAN, other than myself, CWC, and my father, Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr."[1]

For example, Chris labeled every single one of his male MySpace friends as a jerk in his personal list. A few "respectable males" are apparently exempt from jerk status, such as George W. Bush and Barack Obama (and possibly Jack Black).

One reason is the Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor.

In more recent years, he's taken to using the word "male" in the place of jerk to express his disdain for other men. His recent transgender antics also suggests that he has a lot of self hatred about being male.

Use as a denominator

Although he has defined the term "jerk" to mean all men save him and his father, the usage of the term seems to apply to any person who gets in the way of Chris doing something that he wants to do. If Chris wants china and can't get it because the object of his affection has a significant other, that significant other is a jerk. Chris wanted to win the Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown, but Adam Stackhouse got in the way, therefore he is a jerk — allegedly because he broke the rules of the contest and used music, actually because he spoiled Chris's plans for sex with Megan Schroeder. Whether your intention was to obstruct Chris's efforts or not, you are a jerk for presenting a barrier to his goal.

Even being more talented than Chris, or more socially well-adjusted (no great feat, considering Chris) is enough to make one a jerk in Chris's eyes. Men with girlfriends did not specifically intend to cock-block Chris; they only did what well-adjusted people do and asked out a girl they liked. Adam Stackhouse simply made a good video for a competition he wanted to win and had no intention of thwarting an autistic's plans to seduce his best friend (again, the PaRappa Showdown). In Chris's self-centered way of thinking, though, they were all out to get him.

Use as a prefix/suffix

Chris derides certain professions by using "jerk" as a prefix (as with Jerkop) or a suffix (as with Manajerk). The addition of the prefix/suffix comes from their actions which, again, prevented Chris from getting what he wanted. Never mind the fact that managers and police officers are simply doing their job when they stop creepy patrons from soliciting members of the public for sex. They have obstructed his quest for china and so are jerks. Due to repeated encounters with these professions, Chris has taken to describing any member of their ranks as a jerk.

Varying usage

Despite the fact that Chris has openly declared that all men are jerks, in practice he doesn't seem to automatically apply the term to every man he meets. Robert Simmons V was held in some regard before he turned troll against Chris. Joseph Herring was considered a high school friend (although Chris drew him as an ugly, zit-scarred freak in his comic). Chris considered Joshua Martinez a friend (though he still tried to get ED to ruin him) as long as he thought Josh would help him score some china. John Schroeder, Megan's brother, was even the main character in one of Chris's fake video games. Once again, however, that was probably a side-effect of Chris's lust for Megan.

Chris as the embodiment of JERK

Wiktionary defines a jerk as "a person with unlikable or obnoxious qualities and behavior, typically mean, self-centered or disagreeable, and often not very intelligent." Ironically, or perhaps better put, hypocritically, Chris's actions make him more deserving of the term "jerk" than most people he applies it to.

The list of males Chris doesn't hate

The most recent version of T.L.O.M.C.D.H. was provided in Chris's annotations to his ED article. There it goes as follows:

  1. Chris himself
  2. His father
  3. "Santa Clause" [sic]
  4. Jesus
  5. God
  6. The former Presidents of the United States
  7. All the World Leaders
  8. ALL male acquaintances and friends, past and present.

However, in the same annotations, Chris confusingly states that his noviophobia is "Out-Of-Date". He goes on to say that he only hates trolls and "da haytahs" now, but also states that he is cool with the "Hating 99% of the World's Men" theory. In any case, the list is at least applicable to some point in Chris's biography, even if he "got over it".

References

Template:Not Jerks

The CWC-tionary

Relationships: Attraction Location | Boyfriend-free girl | Darling | Dating education | Friend Zone | Gal-pal | Heart Level | Homos | Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor | Love Quest | Noviophobia | SLGBTQ | Sweetheart | Sweetheart from the Ground-Up

Sex: China | Comeuppance | Duck | JULAY | Mass debating | Negligent | Pedofork | Pickle | Recycling | Soul Bonding | Virgin with rage | Virginia is for Virgins | Women's rights

Himself: Biological clock | Butt garments | Captain's Log | Christian Love Day | DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS | Fuzzy-Wuzzies & Prickly-Wicklies | Honest Content | I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD | Monthly tugboat | Muscle bra | Random-access humor | Saga | Scale of Respect | Tomgirl |

Stressors: 4-cent_garbage | GOPony | HEXBox | JERKS | Jerkops | Kick the Autistic | Manajerks | Naïve | Niggos | Pmurt | Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens | Slow-in-the-minds | Tobacky

Fantasies: Curse-ye-ha-me-ha | Dimension | Fangs | Godjesus | Iron Curtain | OC | Un-clit

Comics: Anchuent Prophecy | Da Update | Electric Hedgehog Pokemon | Nombie-zazis | Parody | Rosechu | Sonichu | Sub-Episodes | Sweetbolt


See also: Chris and English | List of phrases Chris copied from media