Difference between revisions of "List of things Chris has shoved up his ass"

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{{quote|As for what turned me onto the idea was watching women doing it for themselves in some of the porn I watched. I tried it myself with just my fingers, and it felt alright to me, especially recently.|[[Jackie E-mails 6|Chris explaining the origins of his anal fixation]]}}
{{quote|As for what turned me onto the idea was watching women doing it for themselves in some of the porn I watched. I tried it myself with just my fingers, and it felt alright to me, especially recently.|[[Jackie E-mails 6|Chris explaining the origins of his anal fixation]]}}


{{quote|I have reached from behind and under and pulled my penis and literally stretched it to being wedged between the middle of my butt crack; I could push the head into the hole. But it was really smelly there, and I have just bathed. And while stretched, the balls can remain tucked in. And I Can walk like this. IT IS THAT LONG. And to take a cocky opportunity: You, and a LOT of women around here and wherever, not counting the Cherokee woman, are really missing out.|Chris in an email to [[Kim Wilson]]<ref name=penis>[[Gal Pal E-mails 4#Chris fucks himself]]</ref>}}


'''[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has shoved many things up his ass''' for [[Sex|sexual pleasure]] (and in [[Julie Reveals Herself|one instance]], because he was being "blackmailed"). Many adults, even STRAIGHT adults, have done this, and it isn't necessarily a weird thing, but in Chris's case it's particularly funny because he happens to be an insanely [[Homos|homophobic]] [[Virgin with Rage]]. For a long time Chris repeatedly denied ever committing such heinous, homoerotic acts, but eventually all it took was a few trusted [[Trolls|gal-pals]] for him to confidentially reveal the True and Honest graphic details of his anal experiences.
[[Image:Chris-ThisIsMyDildo.PNG|thumb|[[Chris Sex Logs#This is my dildo|Chris, speaking from experience.]]]]


Even though he already has fecal incontinence, one can only imagine what wonders this does for his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]].
[[Chris]] has '''shoved many things up his ass''' for [[sex]]ual pleasure (and in [[Julie Reveals Herself|one instance]], because he was being "blackmailed"). While anal stimulation is an activity not exclusive to homosexuals, in Chris's case it's particularly [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]], seeing as how this activity is generally associated with gay men and he undertook it while he happened to be an insanely [[homo]]phobic [[virgin with rage]]. For quite a long time Chris repeatedly denied ever committing such heinous, homoerotic acts, but eventually all it took was a few trusted [[Trolls|gal-pals]] for him to confidentially reveal the graphic TRUE and HONEST details of his anal experiences. Despite his repeated experimentation, he rarely admits to taking any pleasure in the acts.


One can only imagine what wonders this does for his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|already-terrible bathroom issues]].


This list only covers what Chris has admitted shoving up his ass. Given that he was hesitant to admit this much, out of fear that he will be misinterpreted as a homo, we can only imagine [[Pickles|what items]] he has experimented with that he's too ashamed to confess.  
This list only covers what Chris has admitted shoving up his ass. Given that he was hesitant to admit this much, out of fear that he will be misinterpreted as a homo, we can only imagine [[Pickle|what items]] he has experimented with that he's too ashamed to confess.  


==Things Chris has shoved up his ass==
==Things Chris has shoved up his ass==
*[[Dildo]] (with a condom on, later destroyed in an attempt to prove his straightness)<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref>
*A vibrating [[dildo]] (with a condom on,<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3]]</ref> later [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|destroyed]] in an attempt to prove his straightness and his strength<ref>[[Mumble 7#15:02 Chris talks about dildos to prove his strength]]</ref>). He later told [[Catherine]], "Seriously, it did nothing for me."<ref>[[Catherine E-mails#Strap-on details]]</ref>
*[[Anal beads]] (ended up "covered in poo" and thrown away because Chris didn't understand how they work)<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3]]</ref>
*[[Anal beads]] (ended up "covered in poo" and thrown away because Chris didn't understand how they work).<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3]]</ref>
*[[Medallions#Mark_2|Sonichu Medallion]] (broken into pieces first, done under [[stress|duress]] because a 13 year-old told him to)<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref>
*[[Medallions#Mark_2|Sonichu Medallion]] (broken into pieces first, done under [[Chris and stress|duress]] because a [[BlueSpike|13-year-old]] told him to).
*[[Chris and Health#Hygiene|His fingers]] (unlike with the other things he shoved up there, Chris actually admitted that this "felt alright", and it appears to now be his preferred method of anal stimulation)<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>
*[[Chris and Health#Hygiene|His fingers]] (unlike with the other things he shoved up there, Chris actually admitted that this "felt alright", and it appears to now be his preferred method of anal stimulation).<ref name="Jackie E-mails 6">[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>
*Jets of water from his shower head (told [[Vanessa]] that he used to put things up his butt but it became uncomfortable for him so now it's just "sometimes with a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose").<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 3]]</ref>
*Another dildo, this one non-vibrating, sometimes covered with a washcloth, at least four times. He found it painful and unenjoyable.<ref>[[Catherine E-mails#Strap-on details]]</ref>
*His own [[duck]], apparently.<ref name=penis></ref><ref>[[Colin Chat 2]]</ref>


==Things Chris is willing to shove up his ass for his true love==
==Things Chris is willing to shove up his ass for his true love==
*A fake dick ("I would take that in for her.")<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 7]]</ref>
*A fake dick ("I would take that in for her").<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 7]]</ref>
*Strap-on dildo (as long as it's NOT dick-shaped because that would be gay)<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>
*Strap-on dildo. While he told [[Jackie]] it could NOT be dick-shaped because that would be gay,<ref name="Jackie E-mails 6"/> he made no such qualification when referring to Catherine.<ref>[[Colin Chat 1]]</ref>


==What does the future hold for Christian's anus?==
==Sources==
Will shoving so many things up his ass cause some kind of damage to his sphincter or have any kind of negative effect on the functionality of his asshole? Only time will tell...
<references />
 
 
{{stub}}


==Sauces==
{{Lists}}
<references />


[[Category:Lists]]
[[Category:Lists]][[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]

Revision as of 04:11, 16 December 2020

As for what turned me onto the idea was watching women doing it for themselves in some of the porn I watched. I tried it myself with just my fingers, and it felt alright to me, especially recently.
Chris explaining the origins of his anal fixation
I have reached from behind and under and pulled my penis and literally stretched it to being wedged between the middle of my butt crack; I could push the head into the hole. But it was really smelly there, and I have just bathed. And while stretched, the balls can remain tucked in. And I Can walk like this. IT IS THAT LONG. And to take a cocky opportunity: You, and a LOT of women around here and wherever, not counting the Cherokee woman, are really missing out.
Chris in an email to Kim Wilson[1]

Chris has shoved many things up his ass for sexual pleasure (and in one instance, because he was being "blackmailed"). While anal stimulation is an activity not exclusive to homosexuals, in Chris's case it's particularly hypocritical, seeing as how this activity is generally associated with gay men and he undertook it while he happened to be an insanely homophobic virgin with rage. For quite a long time Chris repeatedly denied ever committing such heinous, homoerotic acts, but eventually all it took was a few trusted gal-pals for him to confidentially reveal the graphic TRUE and HONEST details of his anal experiences. Despite his repeated experimentation, he rarely admits to taking any pleasure in the acts.

One can only imagine what wonders this does for his already-terrible bathroom issues.

This list only covers what Chris has admitted shoving up his ass. Given that he was hesitant to admit this much, out of fear that he will be misinterpreted as a homo, we can only imagine what items he has experimented with that he's too ashamed to confess.

Things Chris has shoved up his ass

  • A vibrating dildo (with a condom on,[2] later destroyed in an attempt to prove his straightness and his strength[3]). He later told Catherine, "Seriously, it did nothing for me."[4]
  • Anal beads (ended up "covered in poo" and thrown away because Chris didn't understand how they work).[5]
  • Sonichu Medallion (broken into pieces first, done under duress because a 13-year-old told him to).
  • His fingers (unlike with the other things he shoved up there, Chris actually admitted that this "felt alright", and it appears to now be his preferred method of anal stimulation).[6]
  • Jets of water from his shower head (told Vanessa that he used to put things up his butt but it became uncomfortable for him so now it's just "sometimes with a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose").[7]
  • Another dildo, this one non-vibrating, sometimes covered with a washcloth, at least four times. He found it painful and unenjoyable.[8]
  • His own duck, apparently.[1][9]

Things Chris is willing to shove up his ass for his true love

  • A fake dick ("I would take that in for her").[10]
  • Strap-on dildo. While he told Jackie it could NOT be dick-shaped because that would be gay,[6] he made no such qualification when referring to Catherine.[11]

Sources