Mal-Wart
| “ | But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek [sic] to any Man other than myself, because they all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.” Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has.” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off. | ” |
| CWC's Diary, 22 June 2005 | ||
Mal-Wart is Chris's spoonerism for Wal-Mart in his comics.
Chris and Wal-Mart
In June 2005 the Charlottesville Wal-Mart served as an Attraction Location for Chris's never ending Love Quest. Chris would go to the in-store McDonald's, set up his stuff, and wait around for hours.
On 22 June 2005 Chris was confronted by the men he identified as B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic, who took issue with his Attraction Sign and called the Jerkops on him. Chris hid the sign and denied that he had it, but he was banned from entering the Wal-Mart anyway. However, Chris interpreted this to mean he was only banned from the McDonald's he was in at the time.
On 25 June, Chris attempted again to loiter and came into conflict with the B-Manajerk over his Pixelblock sculptures. The conflict drew the attention of the W-M-Manajerk. When the Wal-Mart manager attempted to reason with him, Chris ran away, almost hitting the manager with his car. He would later gloat about this.
Chris would return to Wal-Mart in October 2009, forcing one of the female employees to measure him for a sports bra.
A new Wal-Mart location opened in Chris's hometown of Ruckersville[1] on 18 August 2010.[2] Prompted by Jackie, Chris applied for work at the new Wal-Mart in October 2010, or at least he said he did.[3] To all the evidence, he was not offered a position.
Chris was banned from the Ruckersville Wal-Mart in September 2013 after vandalising an Xbox One sign to read "HEXbox One" with a permanent marker.[4] Over a year later, an apology letter written to the store was leaked. In it, he says how inconvenient it is for him to have to go to the Target instead, and how he would like to be able to shop there again.
Said apology letter later turned out to be a possible fabrication, as on 3 January 2015 it was leaked that Chris supposedly has caused a scene at Wal-Mart and even had his pepper-spray on hand.[5]
Five years later, on the second of October 2016, Chris wrote a Facebook post criticizing the Walmart's decision to ban him.
| “ | The of #Ruckersville, #VA, USA, has pressed a ban against me Five Years Ago for a minor misbehavior that was a result from a single bad day. I have personally tried to resolve the matter with a detailed document, and the management has refused to sign it, accepting that he has received and read it in the very least. This Walmart is hereby #Discriminating against the #LGBTQ, as well as people with #autism, and the employees and persecuting management are lowlife corporate Scum, equal to #DonaldTrump. The #HRC will hear of this posthaste. Stay Away from this Walmart, and do not buy anything from there, as they are uncompassionate, immoral people. Thank you.
|
” |
| Chris. | ||
References in the comic
Chris chronicles his expulsion from Wal-Mart in Sonichu #3, Sub-Episode 4. In Chris's fantasy world, instead of being asked to leave nicely, he is confronted by B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic and instead of whatever verbal exchange that may have actually occurred Chris fights the Manajerks as Super Chris-Chan Sonichu alongside Darkbind Sonichu. It's impossible to discern what actually happened, but because of Chris's refusal to leave, or stay away, the Wal-Mart Regional Manager appears on the scene as W-M-Manajerk.
These events are reprinted in Sonichu #4, Sub-Episode 4 part 2 were the fight between Chris and W-M-Manajerk continues. Chris's interpretation of the events take a huge departure from reality. To battle W-M-Manajerk Chris uses his pixel block Heart Torch to summon his identical twin sister Crystal Weston Chandler (not to be confused with his future daughter, doubly named Crystal Weston Chandler). After a bizarre display of super powers and some long, boring speeches, Chris wins and buys Crystal lunch.
B-Manajerk, Merried Seinor Comic and W-M-Manajerk all reappear in Sonichu #7 as part of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens.
