Difference between revisions of "Minor Family Members"

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{{quote|'''January 6:''' Today, I had an appointment with my optometrist [''sic''], and big half-brother, Dr. David Alan Chandler, for an Eye-Exam. I needed new lenses, but I can keep my [[Pedo-glasses|current frames]]. But apparently, he has an 8-year-old daughter, Savannah. So for about 8 years, I’ve been an uncle and didn’t know it. Of course, this also makes my parents into grandparents as well. Needless to say, we were happy to know about that.|Christian Weston Chandler}}
{{quote|'''January 6:''' Today, I had an appointment with my optometrist [''sic''], and big half-brother, Dr. David Alan Chandler, for an Eye-Exam. I needed new lenses, but I can keep my [[Pedo-glasses|current frames]]. But apparently, he has an 8-year-old daughter, Savannah. So for about 8 years, I’ve been an uncle and didn’t know it. Of course, this also makes my parents into grandparents as well. Needless to say, we were happy to know about that.|Christian Weston Chandler}}


[[Bob]]'s obituary told us that his wife's name is [[Power Rangers|Kimberly]].<ref name="BobObit">
[[Bob]]'s obituary told us that his wife's name is Kimberly.<ref name="BobObit" />
 
=== Savannah Chandler ===
=== Savannah Chandler ===
'''Savannah Chandler''' is Chris's half-niece, and daughter of [[David Alan Chandler]] (Chris's half-brother) and his wife Kimberly.<ref name="BobObit">
'''Savannah Chandler''' is Chris's half-niece, and daughter of [[David Alan Chandler]] (Chris's half-brother) and his wife Kimberly.<ref name="BobObit">

Revision as of 17:58, 2 October 2011

It's a Chandler family reunion! From bottom left, clockwise: Uncle Raymond, Cousin Jonathan, Christian, Bob, and everyone's favorite, Yawning Squirtle.

Chris's family has several minor family members who aren't important enough for their own articles. Generally those family members beyond the confines of 14 Branchland Court lead relatively normal lives.

Chandler family

Patricia

Bob's first wife, and mother of Drs. Carol and David.[1] Virtually nothing is known about her (in fact, her name wasn't even discovered until Bob's obituary was released), other than the fact that she had divorced Bob at some point prior to 1980, when he married Barb, and was still alive at the time of Bob's death.

Carol Chandler

Dr. Carol Suzanne Chandler (born 7 July 1969)[2] is Chris's half-sister and daughter of the late Bob Chandler and his first wife Patricia.

According to Chris, Carol is a Math "Geinus" [sic] and "wiz".[3] She won the 1988 Mathematics department McShane Prize at the University of Virginia.[4]

Carol attended Providence Middle School.[5] Later, she was a member of Phi Beta Kappa. She earned a Ph.D. and is working for the federal government in Washington, D.C.[6]

David Chandler

David Alan Chandler,

Call 1-900-DOCTORB.
The B is for bargain!

Dr. David Alan Chandler (born 28 November 1962[7])[8] is an ophthalmologist (eye doctor/surgeon) in Richmond, Glen Allen and Mechanicsville, Virginia, son of Bob Chandler and Bob's ex wife Patricia, and older half-brother to Chris.

David went to high school in Chesterfield County,[9] studied medicine at Virginia Commonwealth University, and trained at Washington Hospital Center.[10] He has donated at least $1,000 to the Republican Party,[11] showing that, at least, he agreed with his father on politics. He specializes in small incision cataract extraction with lens implant, medical and surgical management of glaucoma, and the diagnosis and treatment of diabetic eye disease.[9] David has a wife named Kimberly, who is also the mother of Savannah.

Very little is known about him, apart that Chris had an eye exam with him on 6 January 2004 and that Chris wasn't aware that David had a daughter by the name of Savannah, making Chris an uncle and Bob a grandfather.

Suffice to say, this is further evidence that the Chandler family bonds are "strained" at best.

Diary entry:

January 6: Today, I had an appointment with my optometrist [sic], and big half-brother, Dr. David Alan Chandler, for an Eye-Exam. I needed new lenses, but I can keep my current frames. But apparently, he has an 8-year-old daughter, Savannah. So for about 8 years, I’ve been an uncle and didn’t know it. Of course, this also makes my parents into grandparents as well. Needless to say, we were happy to know about that.
Christian Weston Chandler

Bob's obituary told us that his wife's name is Kimberly.[1]

Savannah Chandler

Savannah Chandler is Chris's half-niece, and daughter of David Alan Chandler (Chris's half-brother) and his wife Kimberly.Cite error: Closing </ref> missing for <ref> tag is a distant relative of Chris (the son of Barbara's sister's brother-in-law), who was married on the last weekend of June, 2009. He lives in Red Oak, Virginia. According to Chris, his presence at the wedding is proof that he did not murder Billy Mays.

June 2009 Wedding Photos

Uncle Raymond

Uncle Raymond is Chris's uncle, and presumably Jonathan's father. According to Chris, Uncle Raymond can be contacted as a witness to Chris at Jonathan's wedding. Raymond is the brother of Snorlax, making Jonathan her nephew.

Aunt Harriet

This is pretty much all we've got.
Save for this.

Harriet Ashby (née Weston) is Barbara's sister, seems to admire the American presidents, and considering the number of flags she has on her Christmas tree, she is a TRUE AMERICAN PATRIOT.

Miscellaneous

Jerry Harmon

Jerry Harmon is Barbara's former lover and alleged sinister step-father of Cole Smithey, Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.[12]

I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.
Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills[12]

Sources

External links

See also

Template:Not Jerks