Difference between revisions of "So Need a Cute Girl"

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Line 9: Line 9:
| Stardate      = [[2003#August|August 2003]]
| Stardate      = [[2003#August|August 2003]]
| maker          = Chris
| maker          = Chris
| subject        = {{Music|text}}, {{Sex|text}}
| subject        = {{Music|text}}, {{Sex|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| style          = {{Crazy|text}}
| style          = {{Crazy|text}}
| other          = {{Audio|text}}
| other          = {{Audio|text}}

Revision as of 10:30, 26 August 2014

Such words were never more true, but if I didn't feel the sadness, lonliness [sic] or torture in my heart from after my first encounter with that Witch Bitch, I might be a fuckin' weak sap, instead of the SALTY, AGGRESSIVE, and TRULY SWEET TO THE LADIES and NOT TO MOST MEN type of MAN that I AM.
Chris commenting on "So Need a Cute Girl", 11 November 2007, ED edit[1]

"So Need a Cute Girl" is the first track off of Christian and the Hedgehog Boys. Chris describes it in an ED edit as his "sweetheart search theme song."[1] It is arguably his greatest hit, and certainly the Hedgehog Boys song Chris goes back to most often; as well as the performances listed below, impromptu features appear in a number of his videos.

Song

So Need a Cute Girl, Audio Only
Search for video Youtube, archive
Stardate August 2003
Subject Matter MusicMusic Music, SexSex Sex, RageRage Rage
Performance Style CrazyCrazy Crazy
Other AudioAudio Audio
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos
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The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special
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So Need a Cute Girl, Music Video

Lyrics

[sung over The Backstreet Boys' "I Want It That Way"]

Hey! Look at me!
I'm sitting here sad and lonely!

Without a fire,
But a desire
To not hear you say,
"I have a boyfriend!"

And I see da ladies walking
Along one by one,
And I never wanna hear,
"I have a boyfriend!"

Tell me why
I'm stuck as a virgin with rage! *
Tell me why
I so need a cute girl my age!
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say,
"I have a boyfriend!"**

And I have no fire
But a desire
To not hear you say,
"I have a boyfriend!"

Tell me why
I'm stuck as a virgin with rage!
(Tell me why)
I so need a cute girl my age!
(Tell me why)
I never wanna hear you say,
"I have a boyfriend!"

Why do all of the jerks
Get all of the pretty girls? (Yeah!)
You may not notice,
But I want you to know
That I am a lonesome heart!

And I have no fire,
But a desire
To not, to not, to not
Heeeaaar…

Stuck as a virgin with rage!
So need a cute girl my age!
I never wanna hear you say,
"I have a boyfriend!"

Tell me why
I'm stuck as a virgin with rage!
(Tell me why)
I so need a cute girl my age!
I never wanna hear you say,
"I have a boyfriend!"

Tell me why
I'm stuck as a virgin with rage!
I so need a cute girl my age!
I ain’t never wanna hear you say,
"I have a boyfriend!"

Never say it, now!

* In some versions of the song, "as a virgin with rage" is replaced by the alternative lyric "in a sad, lonely cage."

** In a version of the lyrics posted by Chris in one of his ED edits, these lyrics are changed to "I mean it when I say, 'I NEED A SWEETHEART.'"[2]

Music video

So Need a Cute Girl, Music Video (Featuring Performance of "All I Want For Christmas is a Pretty Girlfriend")
Search for video Youtube, archive
Stardate 20 December 2004
Subject Matter MusicMusic Music, SexSex Sex
Performance Style TragedyTragedy Tragedy, CrazyCrazy Crazy
Shirt Classic ShirtClassic Shirt The Classic
Other LeakedLeaked Leaked
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos
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So Need a Cute Girl, Audio Only
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So Need a Cute Girl, Live Performance

Filmed in December 2004 to promote Christian's Love Quest. Don't miss the rare B-side track, "All I Want For Christmas is a Pretty Girlfriend"

Introductory notes

Chris: Hello. My name is, uh, Christian Chandler. Age 22 at this time. I will be 23 on February 24, 2005. Anyway, for, uh, over a year now I've, uh, being trying to attract an 18 to 22-year-old boyfriend-free girl, 18 to 21 before February 24, 2004, which is this year. Anyhoo, been trying for over a year to attract a girl, boyfriend-free girl, and I have failed.

[sits down]

And, you know, when you get -- when you have so much -- so many failures in this time... you can't help but feel sad, you know? [begins to pet a stuffed cat sitting on the piano] And depressed... and here it is about Christmastime, and... well, all I want for Christmas is a boyfriend-free girl. And of course, uh, during the time, I have uh, been, uh, trying... I have written a few songs about my, uh, love quest. And so, for now -- for now, I'd like to sing to you my, uh -- two of my, two of my songs. First one I'm gonna sing is one I've uh, made up first -- written my own lyrics to and t-- turned it into a song.

By the way, this here is Sonichu. You can look him up on the web. It's my website. Just put in S-O-N-I-C-H-U as your web search term.

Anyway, here's my first song called "So Need a Cute Girl."

[Performs songs]

[Chris sighs] Well, at this time of year, all I can say right now is... that I hope Santa will comply with my request and bring me... a pretty girlfriend.

And so... happy holidays from... me, Christian Chandler—by the way, you can call me Chris in public... and... thank you.

Live performance

So Need a Cute Girl, Live Performance
Search for video Youtube, archive
Stardate 12 July 2009
Subject Matter MusicMusic Music, SexSex Sex
Performance Style CrazyCrazy Crazy, Drunk
Shirt The RefereeRefereeshirt.PNG The Referee
Other LiveLive Live
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos
previous
So Need a Cute Girl, Music Video
next
Harvey Birdman Commercial

On 12 July 2009, one of Chris's "friends" uploaded Christian and the Hedgehog Boys giving their first public performance (sans the Hedgehog Boys, though Chris probably imagined they were there in his head), with their song "So Need a Cute Girl." Perhaps in an attempt to come off as less creepy, Chris opts to use the "sad, lonely cage" lyrics instead of the "virgin with rage" one. Although his performance is predictably sleep-inducing, for the most part, Chris's added "flourish" at the very end of the video makes for an unforgettable couple of seconds.

Transcript

Chris: (Fervently grabs crotch at the end) LADIES, ALL HANDS ON ME. (There are no takers, just laughter)

Man: (Bewildered) Oh ohh OHHH buddy!! Whoa-ho, you got that on film!

Covers

So Need a Cute Girl, cover
Stardate 30 June 2009
Made By LiquidLiquid Liquid Chris
Subject Matter So Need a Cute Girl
Other Info Sonichu: The Animated Series response from the real Chris Chandler.
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos
So Need a Cute Girl, cover
Stardate 4 January 2012
Made By GUWANGE
Subject Matter So Need a Cute Girl
Video Type Song Cover
Other Info From the album Trollsta's Paradise: A True and Honest Tribute to Christian & The Hedgehog Boys.
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos
So Need a Cute Girl (Medley)
Stardate 11 June 2012
Made By GhostofBillRiley
Subject Matter So Need a Cute Girl
Video Type Song Cover
Other Info A medley of several covers mixed together with the original.
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos

Sources

See also

Animal Crossing Documentary Chris's videos Harvey Birdman Commercial

Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)

Regular DVD: Sonic Watch & Win Sweepstakes • "Song of Christian" • Mario Kart 64 Lego RacewayChris Chan in the PokéNewsThe City of Cwicville Tour!Animal Crossing DocumentaryThe 24th Wedding Anniversary Special • "So Need a Cute Girl" • "All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend" • Harvey Birdman commercialPixelated PS3FUTURE MESSAGEKCWC broadcastCWC Slideshow NotesSlideshow images
Director's Cut: ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004ChrisAfterChristmas2004