Difference between revisions of "So Need a Cute Girl"

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{{quote|Such words were never more true, but if I didn't feel the sadness, [[So Lonesome|lonliness]] [sic] or torture in my heart from after my first encounter with that [[Mary Lee Walsh|Witch Bitch]], I might be a fuckin' weak sap, instead of the [[Semen|SALTY]], [[Chris and anger|AGGRESSIVE]], and [[Clyde Cash|TRULY SWEET TO THE LADIES]] and NOT TO MOST [[JERKS|MEN]] type of MAN that I AM.|[[Chris]] commenting on "So Need a Cute Girl", 11 [[November 2007]], [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED edit]]<ref name="ed"><s>http://encyclopediadramatica.es/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821</s></ref>}}
{{quote|Such words were never more true, but if I didn't feel the sadness, [[So Lonesome|lonliness]] [sic] or torture in my heart from after my first encounter with that [[Mary Lee Walsh|Witch Bitch]], I might be a fuckin' weak sap, instead of the [[Semen|SALTY]], [[Chris and anger|AGGRESSIVE]], and [[Clyde Cash|TRULY SWEET TO THE LADIES]] and [[Homos|NOT TO MOST]] [[JERKS|MEN]] type of MAN that I AM.|[[Chris]] commenting on "So Need a Cute Girl," 11 [[November 2007]] [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED edit]].<ref name="ed">[http://web.archive.org/web/20091223054201/http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821 Encyclopedia Dramatica (Wayback Machine), as of 12/23/2009]</ref>}}


'''"So Need a Cute Girl"''' is the first track off of ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]''. Chris describes it in an [[ED]] edit as his "[[love Quest|sweetheart search]] theme song."<ref name="ed"/> It is arguably his greatest hit, and certainly the Hedgehog Boys song Chris goes back to most often; as well as the performances listed below, impromptu features appear in a number of his videos.
'''"So Need a Cute Girl"''' is the first track off of [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]'s [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|eponymous debut album]]. It is sung over a live version of "[[wikipedia:I Want It That Way|I Want It That Way]]" by the [[wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]]. [[Chris]] has described it in an [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] edit as his "[[Love Quest|sweetheart search]] theme song."<ref name="ed"/> It is arguably his greatest hit, and certainly the Hedgehog Boys song Chris goes back to most often; as well as the performances listed below, impromptu features appear in a number of his videos.
 
Bizarrely enough, since [[November 2013]] the song has been available for download for 89 cents on Amazon's MP3 store. As Chris has never mentioned (or noticed) this, it is very likely a [[troll]] put it up there and is [[Jimmy Hill|making money off of Chris's work]].
 
In 2016, Chris made a [[Singing an ol' diddy|remake]] of the song for the Paid Video Requests, replacing the words "I have a boyfriend" with "I'm already taken" to include [[tomgirl|lesbians]]. In a [[2017]] retrospective, Chris admitted that hearing his old song made him cringe, also misidentifying the original artist behind the song as [[wikipedia:*NSYNC|*NSYNC]] instead of the Backstreet Boys.<ref>[[September 2017 Facebook posts#Opinion on Sachumo's CWC Documentary|"And then, I heard the old song I sang, that makes me cringe now, in tune to "I Want It That Way" from N*Sync..."]]</ref>


==Song==
==Song==
<center>{{Infobox/video
<center>{{Infobox/video
| name          = So Need a Cute Girl, Audio Only
| name          = "So Need a Cute Girl"
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|hN-J8WdMuQ4}}
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|0tCrBvkTVZA}}
| Stardate      = [[2003#August|August 2003]]
| Stardate      = [[2003#August|August 2003]]
| maker          = Chris
| maker          = Chris
| subject        = {{Music|text}}, {{Sex|text}}, {{Rage|text}}, {{Galpals|[[Love Quest]]}}
| subject        = {{Music|text}}, {{Sex|text}}, {{Galpals|[[Love Quest]]}}
| style          = {{Crazy|text}}
| style          = {{Tragedy|[[Noviophobia]]}}, {{Rage|[[Virgin with Rage]]}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| other          = {{Audio|text}}
| other          = {{Audio|text}}
| previous      = [[The_24th_Wedding_Anniversary_Special#Part_3|The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special]]
| previous      = [[The_24th_Wedding_Anniversary_Special#Part_3|The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special]]
| next          = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Music_video|So Need a Cute Girl, Music Video]]
| next          = [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]]
}}</center>
}}</center>


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Tell me why<br>
Tell me why<br>
I'm stuck as a [[virgin with rage]]! *<br>
I'm stuck as a [[virgin with rage]]!<br>
Tell me why<br>
Tell me why<br>
I so need a cute girl my age!<br>
I so need a cute girl my age!<br>
Tell me why<br>
Tell me why<br>
I never wanna hear you say,<br>
I never wanna hear you say,<br>
"I have a boyfriend!"**<br>
"I have a boyfriend!"<br>


And I have no fire<br>
And I have no fire<br>
Line 56: Line 60:
Why do all of the [[jerks]]<br>
Why do all of the [[jerks]]<br>
Get all of the pretty girls? (Yeah!)<br>
Get all of the pretty girls? (Yeah!)<br>
You may not notice,<br>
You may not know this,<br>
But I want you to know<br>
But I want you to know<br>
That I am a lonesome heart!<br>
That I am a lonesome heart!<br>
Line 87: Line 91:
<span style="font-size:x-small">&#42; ''In some versions of the song, "as a virgin with rage" is replaced by the alternative lyric "in a sad, lonely cage."''</span>
<span style="font-size:x-small">&#42; ''In some versions of the song, "as a virgin with rage" is replaced by the alternative lyric "in a sad, lonely cage."''</span>


<span style="font-size:x-small">*&#42; ''In a version of the lyrics posted by Chris in one of [[List_of_Christian's_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica|his ED edits]], these lyrics are changed to "I mean it when I say, 'I NEED A SWEETHEART.'"<ref><s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.es/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821 http://encyclopediadramatica.es/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821]</s></ref>''</span>
<span style="font-size:x-small">*&#42; ''In a version of the lyrics posted by Chris in one of [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|his ED edits]], these lyrics are changed to "I mean it when I say, 'I NEED A SWEETHEART.'"<ref name="ed"/>''</span>
 
<span style="font-size:x-small">*&#42; ''In more recent versions, he replaces "I have a boyfriend!" with "I'm already taken!"'"<ref name="ed"/>''</span>


==Music video==
==Music video==
<center>{{Infobox/video
{{Main|All I Want For Christmas is a Pretty Girlfriend}}
| name          = So Need a Cute Girl, Music Video (Featuring Performance of "All I Want For Christmas is a Pretty Girlfriend")
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|6azwhe8xhVI}}
| stardate      = 20 [[December 2004]]
| subject        = {{Music|text}}, {{Sex|text}}
| style          = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt          = {{ClassicShirt|text}}
| other          = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous      = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Song|So Need a Cute Girl, Audio Only]]
| next          = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Live_performance|So Need a Cute Girl, Live Performance]]
}}</center>
 
Filmed in December [[2004]] to promote Christian's [[Love Quest]]. Don't miss the rare B-side track, "[[All I Want For Christmas is a Pretty Girlfriend]]"
 
===Introductory notes===
 
'''Chris''': Hello. My name is, uh, Christian Chandler. Age 22 at this time. I will be 23 on February 24, [[2005]]. Anyway, for, uh, over a year now I've, uh, being trying to attract an 18 to 22-year-old [[boyfriend-free girl]], 18 to 21 before February 24, 2004, which is this year. Anyhoo, been trying for over a year to attract a girl, boyfriend-free girl, and I have failed.
 
[''sits down'']
 
And, you know, when you get -- when you have so much -- so many failures in this time... you can't help but feel sad, you know? [''begins to pet a stuffed cat sitting on the piano''] And depressed... and here it is about [[Christmas#2004|Christmastime]], and... well, all I want for Christmas is a [[boyfriend-free girl]]. And of course, uh, during the time, I have uh, been, uh, trying... I have written a few songs about my, uh, love quest. And so, for now -- for now, I'd like to sing to you my, uh -- two of my, two of my songs. First one I'm gonna sing is one I've uh, made up first -- written my own lyrics to and t-- turned it into a song.
 
By the way, this here is [[Sonichu]]. You can look him up on the web. It's my website. Just put in S-O-N-I-C-H-U as your web search term.
 
Anyway, here's my first song called "[[So Need a Cute Girl]]."
 
[''Performs songs'']
 
[[Sigh|[''Chris sighs'']]] Well, at this time of year, all I can say right now is... that I hope [[Santa]] will comply with my request and bring me... a pretty girlfriend.
 
And so... happy holidays from... me, Christian Chandler—by the way, you can call me Chris in public... and... thank you.


==Live performance==
==Live performance==
Line 128: Line 104:
| stardate      = 12 [[July 2009]]
| stardate      = 12 [[July 2009]]
| maker          = [http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum Scarlet]
| maker          = [http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum Scarlet]
| subject        = {{Music|text}}, {{Sex|text}}
| subject        = {{Music|text}}, {{Sex|text}}, {{Galpals|[[Love Quest]]}}, {{Other|[[Noviophobia]]}}
| style          = {{Crazy|text}}, Drunk
| style          = {{Rage|[[Virgin with Rage]]}}, {{Crazy|[[Chris and hypocrisy|Drunk]]}}
| shirt          = {{RefereeShirt|text}}
| shirt          = {{RefereeShirt|text}}
| other          = {{Live|text}}
| other          = {{Live|text}}
Line 136: Line 112:
}}</center>
}}</center>


On 12 [[July 2009]], one of Chris's "friends" uploaded Christian and the Hedgehog Boys giving [[Chris's Big Night Out II|their first public performance]] (sans the Hedgehog Boys, though Chris probably imagined they were there in his head), with their song "So Need a Cute Girl." Perhaps in an attempt to come off as less creepy, Chris opts to use the "sad, lonely cage" lyrics instead of the "virgin with rage" one. Although his performance is predictably sleep-inducing, for the most part, Chris's added "flourish" at the very end of the video makes for an unforgettable couple of seconds.
On 12 [[July 2009]], one of Chris's "friends" uploaded Christian and the Hedgehog Boys giving [[Chris's Big Night Out II|their first public performance]] (sans the Hedgehog Boys, though Chris probably imagined they were there in his head), with their song "So Need a Cute Girl." Perhaps in an attempt to come off as less creepy, Chris opts to use the "sad, lonely cage" lyrics instead of the "virgin with rage" one. Although his performance is predictably sleep-inducing, for the most part, Chris's added "flourish" at the very end of the video (in which, in an attempt to evoke Michael Jackson, he <s>slaps his hand on</s> grabs his crotch) makes for an unforgettable couple of seconds.


=== Transcript ===
=== Transcript ===
'''Chris:''' [''fervently slaps crotch at the end''] LADIES, ALL HANDS ON ME. [''There are no takers, just laughter'']


'''Chris:''' (''Fervently grabs crotch at the end'') LADIES, [[Adult Swim|ALL HANDS ON ME]]. (''There are no takers, just laughter'')
'''Man:''' [''bewildered''] Oh-whoa-''WHOOOOA there, buddy!!'' Whoa-ho, you got that on film!
 
'''Man:''' (''Bewildered'') Oh ohh OHHH buddy!! Whoa-ho, you got that on film!


==Covers==
==Covers==
<center>{{Infobox/Fanvideo
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name          = So Need a Cute Girl, cover
| name          = So Need a Cute Girl, cover
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|VfM9Q73lBjg}}
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|GDqJ4VuzhnU}}
| stardate      = 30 [[June 2009]]
| stardate      = 30 [[June 2009]]
| maker          = {{Liquid|text}}
| maker          = {{Liquid|text}}
| subject        = So Need a Cute Girl
| subject        = So Need a Cute Girl
| Video Typer    = Song Cover
| type          = Song Cover
| info          = Sonichu: The Animated Series response from the real Chris Chandler.
| info          = ''Sonichu: The Animated Series'' response from the real Chris Chandler.<br>Main vocals by Liquid's brother, SimplySpoons/Jon D.
}}</center>
}}
<center>{{Infobox/Fanvideo
 
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name          = So Need a Cute Girl, cover
| name          = So Need a Cute Girl, cover
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|8DTg4nx_dCE}}
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|8DTg4nx_dCE}}
Line 162: Line 138:
| type          = Song Cover
| type          = Song Cover
| info          = From the album [[Trollsta's Paradise: A True and Honest Tribute to Christian & The Hedgehog Boys]].
| info          = From the album [[Trollsta's Paradise: A True and Honest Tribute to Christian & The Hedgehog Boys]].
}}</center>
}}
<center>{{Infobox/Fanvideo
 
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name          = So Need a Cute Girl (Medley)
| name          = So Need a Cute Girl (Medley)
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|xjuc5iQ-eAk}}
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|xjuc5iQ-eAk}}
Line 171: Line 148:
| type          = Song Cover
| type          = Song Cover
| info          = A medley of several covers mixed together with the original.
| info          = A medley of several covers mixed together with the original.
}}</center>
}}
 
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name          = CØØL ϟCØØTΣR - So Need a Cute Girl
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|UOVELz68Z28}}
| stardate      = 13 [[February 2020]]
| maker          = [https://soundcloud.com/negativexp]
| subject        = So Need a Cute Girl
| type          = Song Cover (Mirrored)
| info          = Cover made by Negative XP
}}


== Sources ==
== References ==
<references/>
<references/>


==See also==
== See also ==
*[[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]]
*[[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]]
*[[Chris and music]]
*[[Chris and music]]
*[[Chris's Big Night Out II]]
*[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]
*[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]
*[[Virgin with Rage]]
*[[Virgin with rage]]
*[[Chris's Big Night Out II]]


{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Animal Crossing Documentary]]|nextlink=[[Harvey Birdman Commercial]]|}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Animal Crossing Documentary]]|nextlink=[[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]]|}}
{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{CWC on TV}}
{{CWC on TV}}
Line 191: Line 178:
[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)]]
[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos before 2007| 2004-12-24]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos before 2007| 2004-12-24]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Music Videos]]

Revision as of 19:14, 12 November 2020

Such words were never more true, but if I didn't feel the sadness, lonliness [sic] or torture in my heart from after my first encounter with that Witch Bitch, I might be a fuckin' weak sap, instead of the SALTY, AGGRESSIVE, and TRULY SWEET TO THE LADIES and NOT TO MOST MEN type of MAN that I AM.
Chris commenting on "So Need a Cute Girl," 11 November 2007 ED edit.[1]

"So Need a Cute Girl" is the first track off of Christian and the Hedgehog Boys's eponymous debut album. It is sung over a live version of "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys. Chris has described it in an Encyclopedia Dramatica edit as his "sweetheart search theme song."[1] It is arguably his greatest hit, and certainly the Hedgehog Boys song Chris goes back to most often; as well as the performances listed below, impromptu features appear in a number of his videos.

Bizarrely enough, since November 2013 the song has been available for download for 89 cents on Amazon's MP3 store. As Chris has never mentioned (or noticed) this, it is very likely a troll put it up there and is making money off of Chris's work.

In 2016, Chris made a remake of the song for the Paid Video Requests, replacing the words "I have a boyfriend" with "I'm already taken" to include lesbians. In a 2017 retrospective, Chris admitted that hearing his old song made him cringe, also misidentifying the original artist behind the song as *NSYNC instead of the Backstreet Boys.[2]

Song

"So Need a Cute Girl"
Search for video Youtube, archive
Stardate August 2003
Subject Matter MusicMusic Music, SexSex Sex, GalpalsGalpals Love Quest
Performance Style TragedyTragedy Noviophobia, RageRage Virgin with Rage, CrazyCrazy Crazy
Other AudioAudio Audio
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos
previous
The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special
next
All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend

Lyrics

[sung over The Backstreet Boys' "I Want It That Way"]

Hey! Look at me!
I'm sitting here sad and lonely!

Without a fire,
But a desire
To not hear you say,
"I have a boyfriend!"

And I see da ladies walking
Along one by one,
And I never wanna hear,
"I have a boyfriend!"

Tell me why
I'm stuck as a virgin with rage!
Tell me why
I so need a cute girl my age!
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say,
"I have a boyfriend!"

And I have no fire
But a desire
To not hear you say,
"I have a boyfriend!"

Tell me why
I'm stuck as a virgin with rage!
(Tell me why)
I so need a cute girl my age!
(Tell me why)
I never wanna hear you say,
"I have a boyfriend!"

Why do all of the jerks
Get all of the pretty girls? (Yeah!)
You may not know this,
But I want you to know
That I am a lonesome heart!

And I have no fire,
But a desire
To not, to not, to not
Heeeaaar…

Stuck as a virgin with rage!
So need a cute girl my age!
I never wanna hear you say,
"I have a boyfriend!"

Tell me why
I'm stuck as a virgin with rage!
(Tell me why)
I so need a cute girl my age!
I never wanna hear you say,
"I have a boyfriend!"

Tell me why
I'm stuck as a virgin with rage!
I so need a cute girl my age!
I ain’t never wanna hear you say,
"I have a boyfriend!"

Never say it, now!

* In some versions of the song, "as a virgin with rage" is replaced by the alternative lyric "in a sad, lonely cage."

** In a version of the lyrics posted by Chris in one of his ED edits, these lyrics are changed to "I mean it when I say, 'I NEED A SWEETHEART.'"[1]

** In more recent versions, he replaces "I have a boyfriend!" with "I'm already taken!"'"[1]

Music video

Main article: All I Want For Christmas is a Pretty Girlfriend

Live performance

So Need a Cute Girl, Live Performance
Search for video Youtube, archive
Stardate 12 July 2009
Subject Matter MusicMusic Music, SexSex Sex, GalpalsGalpals Love Quest, OtherUnknownIcon.png Noviophobia
Performance Style RageRage Virgin with Rage, CrazyCrazy Drunk
Shirt The RefereeRefereeshirt.PNG The Referee
Other LiveLive Live
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos
previous
So Need a Cute Girl, Music Video
next
Harvey Birdman Commercial

On 12 July 2009, one of Chris's "friends" uploaded Christian and the Hedgehog Boys giving their first public performance (sans the Hedgehog Boys, though Chris probably imagined they were there in his head), with their song "So Need a Cute Girl." Perhaps in an attempt to come off as less creepy, Chris opts to use the "sad, lonely cage" lyrics instead of the "virgin with rage" one. Although his performance is predictably sleep-inducing, for the most part, Chris's added "flourish" at the very end of the video (in which, in an attempt to evoke Michael Jackson, he slaps his hand on grabs his crotch) makes for an unforgettable couple of seconds.

Transcript

Chris: [fervently slaps crotch at the end] LADIES, ALL HANDS ON ME. [There are no takers, just laughter]

Man: [bewildered] Oh-whoa-WHOOOOA there, buddy!! Whoa-ho, you got that on film!

Covers

So Need a Cute Girl, cover
Stardate 30 June 2009
Made By LiquidLiquid Liquid Chris
Subject Matter So Need a Cute Girl
Video Type Song Cover
Other Info Sonichu: The Animated Series response from the real Chris Chandler.
Main vocals by Liquid's brother, SimplySpoons/Jon D.
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos


So Need a Cute Girl, cover
Stardate 4 January 2012
Made By GUWANGE
Subject Matter So Need a Cute Girl
Video Type Song Cover
Other Info From the album Trollsta's Paradise: A True and Honest Tribute to Christian & The Hedgehog Boys.
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos


So Need a Cute Girl (Medley)
Stardate 11 June 2012
Made By GhostofBillRiley
Subject Matter So Need a Cute Girl
Video Type Song Cover
Other Info A medley of several covers mixed together with the original.
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos


CØØL ϟCØØTΣR - So Need a Cute Girl
Stardate 13 February 2020
Made By [1]
Subject Matter So Need a Cute Girl
Video Type Song Cover (Mirrored)
Other Info Cover made by Negative XP
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos

References

See also

Animal Crossing Documentary Chris's videos All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend

Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)

Regular DVD: Sonic Watch & Win Sweepstakes • "Song of Christian" • Mario Kart 64 Lego RacewayChris Chan in the PokéNewsThe City of Cwicville Tour!Animal Crossing DocumentaryThe 24th Wedding Anniversary Special • "So Need a Cute Girl" • "All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend" • Harvey Birdman commercialPixelated PS3FUTURE MESSAGEKCWC broadcastCWC Slideshow NotesSlideshow images
Director's Cut: ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004ChrisAfterChristmas2004