Difference between revisions of "Sonichu's Edge"

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[[Image:Mirror's Edge.jpg|thumb|left|The truth about the video title]]
[[File:Mirror's Edge.jpg|thumb|left|The truth about the video title.]]
[[Image:Parkay.jpg|thumb|Chris wishes he were eating this instead]]
[[File:ParkayTwentyFifteen.jpg|thumb|Chris wishes he were eating this instead.]]
[[Image:Sonichu's Edge.png|thumb|Artist's depiction]]
[[File:Sonichu's Edge.png|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]


"'''Sonichu's Edge'''" (officially "'''Sonichu's Edge.MP4'''") is a video uploaded on [[December 2009| December 3rd, 2009]], in which [[Chris]] goes "[[Father Call|jogging]]". The title is a not-too-subtle [[parody]] of the 3D platformer ''[[Wikipedia: Mirror's Edge|Mirror's Edge]]''.
"'''Sonichu's Edge'''" (officially "'''Sonichu's Edge.MP4'''") is a video uploaded on [[December 2009]], in which [[Chris]] goes "[[Father Call|jogging]]". The title is a not-too-subtle [[parody]] of the 3D platformer ''[[Wikipedia:Mirror's Edge|Mirror's Edge]]''.


Based on the accompanying [[3 December 2009|Captain's Log]], he made this to show that he is "pumped up for [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|pushing Sonichu out into merchandise]]." This video proves that Chris has no idea what "jogging" is. He is sprinting (for him) in this video, obviously missing the point of jogging (a slow, easy run). Chris inserts obvious jump cuts at 1:30, 1:58, 2:25, 3:00, 3:22 and 3:42, where he's run out of breath and needs a break due to how [[Chris and health#Exercise|out of shape he is]].  
Based on the accompanying [[3 December 2009|Captain's Log]], he made this to show that he is "pumped up for [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|pushing Sonichu out]] into merchandise." This video proves that Chris has no idea what "jogging" is. He is sprinting (for him) in this video, obviously missing the point that jogging is a slow, easy run. Chris inserts many obvious jump cuts (at 1:30, 1:58, 2:25, 3:00, 3:22 and 3:42) where he's run out of breath and needs a break due to how [[Chris and health#Exercise|out of shape he is]].  


Once again, Chris confuses the acrobatic sport [[Wikipedia:Parkour|parkour]] with the squeezable margarine brand [http://www.parkay.com/index.jsp Parkay]. This ''may'' have something to do with his autism, as the two sound similar. He also confuses "light jogging" with "parkour" in general.  
Chris calls his running "[[Wikipedia:Parkay|parkay]]", confusing the acrobatic sport [[Wikipedia:Parkour|parkour]] with a brand of squeezable margarine, as well as "light jogging" with "parkour" in general.


One can only imagine what the innocent citizens of [[Charlottesville]] must have thought as a fat, sweaty retard went puffing by at a little over walking pace with a camera dangling from his obese neck.
One can only imagine what the citizens of [[Charlottesville]] must have thought as a fat, sweaty [[slow-in-the-mind]] went puffing by at a little-over-walking pace with a camera dangling from his obese neck.


An email in [[Mailbag 16]] pointed out that Chris ran just 579 metres in three and a half minutes, at a snail's pace of 2.8 m/s, nowhere near the 5 miles he claimed. Chris seems unable to estimate measurements of length and time.
An e-mail in [[Mailbag 16#Parkay analysis|Mailbag 16]] pointed out that Chris ran about 579 yards (529 meters), or about a third of a mile, in 3 and a half minutes, at a very stilted jogging pace of 2.8 m/s (6 mph / 10 km/h), nowhere near the 5 miles (8 km) or 30 minutes he claimed it would be in his call with Kacey's Father. Chris seems unable to estimate measurements of length and time.


Chris has [[Mailbag 29#In which Chris lies about how much he can run|declined to record another running video]], blaming the battery in his camera.
Chris has [[Mailbag 29#In which Chris lies about how much he can run|declined to record another running video]], blaming the battery in his camera.


==Video==
==Video==
 
{{Protip|Do not watch this video if you are prone to motion sickness. We mean it.}}
<center>
{{Infobox/video
{{Infobox/video
| name          = Sonichu's Edge
| name          = Sonichu's Edge
| image         = {{#ev:youtube|U0XXXCV2PfQ}}
| video         = {{#ev:youtube|aRMfEeIl6c4}}
| imagewidth    = 250
| stardate       = 3 [[December 2009]]
| Stardate       = 03 December 2009
| subject        = {{Power|text}}
| Maker          = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| shirt         = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| Subject Matter = {{Power|text}}
| Shirt         = [[Image:Horizontalredshirt.png]] Vert. Red
| previous      = [[3 December 2009]]
| previous      = [[3 December 2009]]
| next          = [[Holiday Greetings]]
| next          = [[Holiday Greetings]]
}}</center>
}}
{{quote|There may be one or two pauses where I have to catch my breath. Of course that's what you expect, even from the [[Sonic|best runner]].}}


===Transcript===
=== Transcript ===
 
[''brandishes [[Amnyfest Ring]]''] Hello there, [[fans]]! It's Christian Chandler here, live at the downtown [[mall]], where for the [[Sonichu]] franchise and city of [[CWCville]], and everything like that, I'm gonna do [[Chris and English|a parkay]] from this point [''camera spins around to show some sidewalks''] all the way down to the gara--parking garage [''camera spins back to Chris''] where, at the end, we will get a nice view of the tent-style theater that's down there where events are held. And for this viewing, the camera will be hung around my neck right about here. [''gestures to the [[Sonichu medallion]]''] To get--see what I see from that point of view. And, also, uh, there may be one or two pauses where I have to catch my--my breath. [[Obesity|Of course that's what you expect]], [[Chris and reality|even from the best runner]].
[''Brandishes [[Amnyfest Ring]]''] Hello there, [[trolls|fans]]! It's Christian Chandler here, live at the downtown mall, where for the [[Sonichu]] franchise and city of CWCville, and everything like that, I'm gonna do [[Chris and English|a Parkay]] from this point [''camera spins around to show some sidewalks''] all the way down to the gara—parking garage [''Camera spins back to Chris''] where, at the end, we will get a nice view of the tent-style theater that's down there where events are held. And for this viewing, the camera will be hung around my neck right about here. [''Gestures to the Sonichu medallion''] To get—see what I see from that point of view. And, also, uh, there may be one or two pauses where I have to catch my—my breath. [[Obesity|Of course that's what you expect]], [[Chris and reality|even from the best runner]].


[''Jump cut. Camera is now apparently hanging around Chris's neck. Chris's hand comes into frame for a second for him to flash the Amnyfest Ring.'']
[''Jump cut. Camera is now apparently hanging around Chris's neck. Chris's hand comes into frame for a second for him to flash the Amnyfest Ring.'']
Line 38: Line 35:
Alright, here we go!
Alright, here we go!


'''0:42-1:20''' Chris begins running, relatively slowly. His path seems to be pretty erratic.
'''0:42-1:20''' Chris begins running, relatively slowly. His path seems to be pretty erratic. Breathing can be faintly heard.


'''1:21-1:30''' Chris enters a populated area. Though the jerky camera makes it difficult to see, several people seem to stop and stare at him. At 1:28, Chris's heavy breathing becomes audible.
'''1:21-1:30''' Chris enters a populated area. Though the jerky camera makes it difficult to see, several people seem to stop and stare at him. At 1:28, Chris's heavy breathing becomes audible.


'''1:31-1:44''' First jump cut. For those keeping score, Chris stops to rest after 48 seconds of jogging. He continues through the shopping center, his hands occasionally coming into frame.
'''1:31-1:44''' First jump cut. For those keeping score, Chris stops to rest after forty-eight seconds of jogging. He continues through the shopping center, his hands occasionally coming into frame.


'''1:45-1:46''' Chris goes in between some trees.
'''1:45-1:46''' Chris goes in between some trees.
Line 48: Line 45:
'''1:47-1:58''' Chris's breathing starts becoming heavy again.
'''1:47-1:58''' Chris's breathing starts becoming heavy again.


'''1:59-2:15''' Second jump cut. Chris runs past a happy couple, and then runs down some stairs.
'''1:59-2:15''' Second jump cut. Chris runs past a [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|happy couple]], and then runs down some stairs.


'''2:16-2:25''' Chris passes by a large Christmas tree. Around 2:20, his movement begins to slow down considerably.
'''2:16-2:25''' Chris passes by a large [[Christmas]] tree. Around 2:20, his movement begins to slow down considerably.


'''2:26-2:33''' Third jump cut.
'''2:26-2:33''' Third jump cut.


'''2:34-2:41''' Relaxing guitar music fades in and out as Chris passes a band of street musicians.
'''2:34-2:41''' Relaxing [[guitar]] music fades in and out as Chris passes a group of buskers playing "[[wikipedia:House of the Rising Sun|House of the Rising Sun]]".


'''2:42-2:54''' Chris continues onwards.
'''2:42-2:54''' Chris continues onwards.
Line 74: Line 71:
See? Amphitheater. [''Camera spins around back to Chris, who flashes the peace sign''] Thank you for your [[trolling|continued support]]!
See? Amphitheater. [''Camera spins around back to Chris, who flashes the peace sign''] Thank you for your [[trolling|continued support]]!


==Remixes==
==Fan videos==
 
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
<center>{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name          = The Chris-Chanos
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|AbWn-WsljB0}}
| Stardate      = 04 December, 2009
| Maker          = KrappleGuy
| Subject        = [[Sonichu's Edge]]
| Video Type    = (TV) Parody
| Other Info    = Spoofs the opening to ''The Sopranos''
}}</center>
 
<center>{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name          = Sonichu's Edge
| name          = Sonichu's Edge
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|eGKCSS-QUkE}}
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|eGKCSS-QUkE}}
| Stardate       = 04 December, 2009
| stardate       = 4 December 2009
| Maker         = IBAClydeCash
| maker         = IBAClydeCash
| Subject       = [[Sonichu's Edge]]
| subject       = Sonichu's Edge
| Video Type    = (VG) Parody
| type          = (VG) Parody
| Other Info    = Replaces Faith with [[Chris]].
| info          = Replaces Faith with [[Chris]].
}}</center>
}}


<center>{{Infobox/Fanvideo
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name          = Run Virgin Run
| name          = CWC Doodle- Parkay
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|o1ZgUfmI2vU}}
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|RuqRS3KVnQs}}
| Stardate       = 04 December, 2009
| stardate       = 11 December 2009
| Maker         = tehcosmicexplorer08
| maker         = TheOfficialCWC
| Subject       = [[Sonichu's Edge]]
| subject       = {{Fanart|text}}
| Video Type    = Dramatic remix
| type          = Speedpaint
| Other Info    = ''Lola Rennt'' soundtrack
}}
}}</center>


==See also==
==See also==
*[[3 December 2009]]
*[[3 December 2009]]
*[[CWC Fighter]]


==External links==
==External links==
*[http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF&msa=0&msid=104235379233340359048.000479de54a1731a2b512 Chris's Route as detailed by Google Maps]
*[http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF&msa=0&msid=104235379233340359048.000479de54a1731a2b512 Chris's Route as detailed by Google Maps]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2N1TJP1cxmo What Chris is failing to imitate]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2N1TJP1cxmo The trailer for what Chris is failing to imitate]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuqRS3KVnQs CWC Doodle- Parkay]


{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[3 December 2009]]|nextlink=[[Holiday Greetings]]|}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[3 December 2009]]|nextlink=[[Holiday Greetings]]|}}
{{Videos}}
{{Power videos}}
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
 
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, December 2009| 2009-12-03]]
[[Category:CWCipedia Saga videos| 2009-12-03]]

Revision as of 08:00, 21 May 2019

The truth about the video title.
Chris wishes he were eating this instead.
Artist's depiction.

"Sonichu's Edge" (officially "Sonichu's Edge.MP4") is a video uploaded on 3 December 2009, in which Chris goes "jogging". The title is a not-too-subtle parody of the 3D platformer Mirror's Edge.

Based on the accompanying Captain's Log, he made this to show that he is "pumped up for pushing Sonichu out into merchandise." This video proves that Chris has no idea what "jogging" is. He is sprinting (for him) in this video, obviously missing the point that jogging is a slow, easy run. Chris inserts many obvious jump cuts (at 1:30, 1:58, 2:25, 3:00, 3:22 and 3:42) where he's run out of breath and needs a break due to how out of shape he is.

Chris calls his running "parkay", confusing the acrobatic sport parkour with a brand of squeezable margarine, as well as "light jogging" with "parkour" in general.

One can only imagine what the citizens of Charlottesville must have thought as a fat, sweaty slow-in-the-mind went puffing by at a little-over-walking pace with a camera dangling from his obese neck.

An e-mail in Mailbag 16 pointed out that Chris ran about 579 yards (529 meters), or about a third of a mile, in 3 and a half minutes, at a very stilted jogging pace of 2.8 m/s (6 mph / 10 km/h), nowhere near the 5 miles (8 km) or 30 minutes he claimed it would be in his call with Kacey's Father. Chris seems unable to estimate measurements of length and time.

Chris has declined to record another running video, blaming the battery in his camera.

Video

Protip.jpg
PROTIP:

Do not watch this video if you are prone to motion sickness. We mean it.
Sonichu's Edge
Search for video Youtube, archive
Stardate 3 December 2009
Subject Matter PowerPower Power
Shirt Vert RedVert Red Vertical Red
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos
previous
3 December 2009
next
Holiday Greetings
There may be one or two pauses where I have to catch my breath. Of course that's what you expect, even from the best runner.

Transcript

[brandishes Amnyfest Ring] Hello there, fans! It's Christian Chandler here, live at the downtown mall, where for the Sonichu franchise and city of CWCville, and everything like that, I'm gonna do a parkay from this point [camera spins around to show some sidewalks] all the way down to the gara--parking garage [camera spins back to Chris] where, at the end, we will get a nice view of the tent-style theater that's down there where events are held. And for this viewing, the camera will be hung around my neck right about here. [gestures to the Sonichu medallion] To get--see what I see from that point of view. And, also, uh, there may be one or two pauses where I have to catch my--my breath. Of course that's what you expect, even from the best runner.

[Jump cut. Camera is now apparently hanging around Chris's neck. Chris's hand comes into frame for a second for him to flash the Amnyfest Ring.]

Alright, here we go!

0:42-1:20 Chris begins running, relatively slowly. His path seems to be pretty erratic. Breathing can be faintly heard.

1:21-1:30 Chris enters a populated area. Though the jerky camera makes it difficult to see, several people seem to stop and stare at him. At 1:28, Chris's heavy breathing becomes audible.

1:31-1:44 First jump cut. For those keeping score, Chris stops to rest after forty-eight seconds of jogging. He continues through the shopping center, his hands occasionally coming into frame.

1:45-1:46 Chris goes in between some trees.

1:47-1:58 Chris's breathing starts becoming heavy again.

1:59-2:15 Second jump cut. Chris runs past a happy couple, and then runs down some stairs.

2:16-2:25 Chris passes by a large Christmas tree. Around 2:20, his movement begins to slow down considerably.

2:26-2:33 Third jump cut.

2:34-2:41 Relaxing guitar music fades in and out as Chris passes a group of buskers playing "House of the Rising Sun".

2:42-2:54 Chris continues onwards.

2:55-3:00 Chris runs past a small bus.

3:01-3:16 Fourth jump cut. Chris runs through some decorative trees.

3:17-3:21 Chris rounds a corner, and approaches an open door.

3:22-3:32 Fifth jump cut. Chris is now inside a building. He trudges up some stairs, clearly walking.

3:33-3:42 Chris passes someone going in the opposite direction. He continues upwards.

3:43-3:50 Sixth jump cut. Chris apparently reaches the 4th floor and exits a door into the blinding sunlight.

3:51-4:10 Chris is now on the top level of a parking structure. He runs across the parking area. Around 4:05 his breathing becomes very heavy. At 4:10, he reaches his destination. The camera shows a large tented area on the ground far below.

See? Amphitheater. [Camera spins around back to Chris, who flashes the peace sign] Thank you for your continued support!

Fan videos

Sonichu's Edge
Stardate 4 December 2009
Made By IBAClydeCash
Subject Matter Sonichu's Edge
Video Type (VG) Parody
Other Info Replaces Faith with Chris.
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos


CWC Doodle- Parkay
Stardate 11 December 2009
Made By TheOfficialCWC
Subject Matter Fan ArtFan Art Fan Art
Video Type Speedpaint
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos

See also

External links

3 December 2009 Chris's videos Holiday Greetings
💪 💪 💪 Power videos 💪 💪 💪

CWC Update 18 January 2009Chris Destroys His VibratorTake that Page DOWN NOW!PowerChris humps his PS3Sign Destruction VideoChallenge for ClydeChris Loses ItCWC Fighter30 Push-UpsClyde is Weaker than WaterI AM STRONG51 50Sonichu's EdgeDon't Mess With MeTito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!The MovingFoward videosLars' Ship has Sunk.MOVA HikeA WorkoutWeighInWelcometoBollywoodPull-upsVictory RockoutCheerleaderA few kicksLesbian Sex AuditionEid, Pmurt, EidSmashingGet Out, You D*** NazisChris slaps himselfOne-HundredWalking to the post officeOn mah Treadmill, dawgs!