Difference between revisions of "Voicemail greeting"
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== Examples of Chris's voicemail greeting == | == Examples of Chris's voicemail greeting == | ||
=== [[Car Pranks|2 August 2009]] === | === [[Car Pranks|2 August 2009]] === | ||
Hello. You have reached the cellphone of Christian Weston Chandler. I'm sorry I could not answer right now, but please leave your name message, telephone number, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. And I was advised heavily by my [[Bob Chandler|publicist]] and my [[Jay Z|lawyers]] to not do any interviews or a documentaries whatsoever. Even in--[[Chris and his ego|because I got so much reputation--and at stake--at the current time]]. Also if this is a, uh, troll trying to troll me back, do you think how much [[Minor CWC-isms|trollin' stupid]]? I'm not [[Naïve|trollin' stupid]], ''you're'' [[Slow-in-the-minds|trollin' stupid]]. Have a good day. | |||
=== [[March 2011|1 March 2011]] === | === [[March 2011|1 March 2011]] === | ||
I'm sorry, but the person you are trying to reach is [[Greene County Conspiracy|very paranoid of cyber-bullies]] at this time. If you are coming in on restricted, unknown, or [[Chris and English|out-of-state-of-Virginia number]], please do NOT leave a message and do NOT dial this number again. Message 1-5-8. | |||
===[[April 2011|19 April 2011]]=== | ===[[April 2011|19 April 2011]]=== | ||
Hellooo, I'm not available to answer the phone right now, please leave your name, message, and telephone number and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day. | |||
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?85bb6bbjb3cdw52 Listen here!] | *[http://www.mediafire.com/?85bb6bbjb3cdw52 Listen here!] | ||
=== c. [[May 2011]] === | === c. [[May 2011]] === | ||
[[Autism|Hello. Leave message. Goodbye]]. | |||
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4HaqaJmYHQ Listen here!] | *[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4HaqaJmYHQ Listen here!] | ||
=== 13 May 2011=== | === 13 May 2011=== | ||
Hello. Please leave your name, message, and telephone number, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Otherwise if this is an unsolicited call or you are a person I have not met personally before this call do NOT leave a message and do NOT dial this number again! I repeat: If I don't know you, we have not met personally before, do NOT dial this number again. Otherwise leave a message. I will get back to you or whatever. Have a good day. | |||
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejDsO39UzxU Listen here!] | *[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejDsO39UzxU Listen here!] | ||
=== [[June 2011|20 June 2011]]=== | === [[June 2011|20 June 2011]]=== | ||
Hello, you have reached the cellphone. Ye-listen, [[Chris and Reality|I screen my calls]], so it is very unlikely that I will ever pickup on you especially if I have not met you in person. So you're better off just leaving a message, and I will listen to it, I may or may not get back. Don't call my number again- ha-had repeatedly. So, yeah, with that, you have reached the cellphone, please leave your name, message, and telephone number, I may get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day. | |||
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJj353Vb4S4 Listen here!] | *[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJj353Vb4S4 Listen here!] | ||
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=== [[July 2011|2 July 2011]]=== | === [[July 2011|2 July 2011]]=== | ||
Hello, please leave a message at the beep and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day. | |||
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?ttgxwn408260amp Download here!] | *[http://www.mediafire.com/?ttgxwn408260amp Download here!] | ||
=== 15 July 2011=== | === 15 July 2011=== | ||
Hello, you have [[Chris and English|reach sh-cell phone. Christian Chandler]]. Please leave your name, message, and phone number and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day. | |||
*No recording. | *No recording. | ||
=== [[December 2011|6 December 2011]]=== | === [[December 2011|6 December 2011]]=== | ||
Hello, [[Chris and health|I'm sick]]. Don't call this number again. Otherwise leave a message at the beep... Have a good day... | |||
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_Qw2P8aCZY Listen here!] | *[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_Qw2P8aCZY Listen here!] | ||
=== 9 December 2011 === | === 9 December 2011 === | ||
Hello. Please leave your name, message, and telephone number, and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day. | |||
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiEO8e0clmU&list=UUPvfRHS7wdHIvlApyeC4fuQ&feature=plcp Listen here!] | *[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiEO8e0clmU&list=UUPvfRHS7wdHIvlApyeC4fuQ&feature=plcp Listen here!] | ||
=== [[February 2012|11 February 2012]]=== | === [[February 2012|11 February 2012]]=== | ||
Hello, all unsolicited calls will be deleted! Other than that, please leave your name, message, and telephone number, and we will considerably get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day! | |||
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zR5Ar5bTayQ Listen here!] | *[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zR5Ar5bTayQ Listen here!] | ||
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=== [[May 2012| 20 May 2012]] === | === [[May 2012| 20 May 2012]] === | ||
Hello, please leave your name, message, and telephone number and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day. | |||
*No recording | *No recording | ||
=== [[June 2012| 4 June 2012]] === | === [[June 2012| 4 June 2012]] === | ||
Your call is being forwarded to an "I don't give a damn" service! Do not stay on the line! Do not dial this number ever again in your lifetime! Goodbye! | |||
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyWZN8USLgA&feature=plcp Listen here!] | *[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyWZN8USLgA&feature=plcp Listen here!] | ||
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=== [[June 2012| 12 June 2012]] === | === [[June 2012| 12 June 2012]] === | ||
Hello. [[Autism|I do not understand people]]. Leave me alone, or leave me a message with your name--telephone number, leave message..I'll get back to you..if I know you in person..or...somethin'. Whatever. Um.. have a good day. | |||
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?ktad1ii64kdutpn Download here!] | *[http://www.mediafire.com/?ktad1ii64kdutpn Download here!] | ||
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=== Between Mid-[[2012]] and Mid-[[2014]] === | === Between Mid-[[2012]] and Mid-[[2014]] === | ||
[''singing''] Believe it or not, this is Christian Chandler's phone. Please leave a message at the beep. I must be busy, or I'd pick up the phone. What the hell now? Believe it or not, I'm really [[stress]]ed. | |||
*[http://youtu.be/wvcgYjxUKz4 Listen here!] | *[http://youtu.be/wvcgYjxUKz4 Listen here!] | ||
===[[January 2015]]=== | ===[[January 2015]]=== | ||
[''in an overly-feminine tone''] Hello, you have reached this cellphone. Leave your name and address and telephone number and I '''''may''''' get back to yooouu. Have a good day. | |||
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Asr0yWbjtQc&feature=youtu.be Listen here!] | *[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Asr0yWbjtQc&feature=youtu.be Listen here!] | ||
===[[June 2015]]=== | ===[[June 2015]]=== | ||
''(in a voice not unlike a 50-year-old woman)'' Hello! You have reached Christine's CELLphone. Please leave your name, message, and telephone ''(voice cracks)'' number, and I may get back to you soon. Have a good day! | |||
[[Category:Phone calls]] | [[Category:Phone calls]] | ||
Revision as of 22:41, 10 June 2015
Chris's voicemail greeting is something which many trolls have experienced when attempting to call Chris. The greetings have been changed numerous times and their content has varied greatly over time, ranging from straightforward to downright bizarre. This article is not an exhaustive record of the greetings Chris has used (as he may have changed it and no one bothered to tell us), but is nonetheless a good collection of messages spanning a period of almost 3 years.
Examples of Chris's voicemail greeting
2 August 2009
Hello. You have reached the cellphone of Christian Weston Chandler. I'm sorry I could not answer right now, but please leave your name message, telephone number, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. And I was advised heavily by my publicist and my lawyers to not do any interviews or a documentaries whatsoever. Even in--because I got so much reputation--and at stake--at the current time. Also if this is a, uh, troll trying to troll me back, do you think how much trollin' stupid? I'm not trollin' stupid, you're trollin' stupid. Have a good day.
1 March 2011
I'm sorry, but the person you are trying to reach is very paranoid of cyber-bullies at this time. If you are coming in on restricted, unknown, or out-of-state-of-Virginia number, please do NOT leave a message and do NOT dial this number again. Message 1-5-8.
19 April 2011
Hellooo, I'm not available to answer the phone right now, please leave your name, message, and telephone number and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.
c. May 2011
Hello. Leave message. Goodbye.
13 May 2011
Hello. Please leave your name, message, and telephone number, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Otherwise if this is an unsolicited call or you are a person I have not met personally before this call do NOT leave a message and do NOT dial this number again! I repeat: If I don't know you, we have not met personally before, do NOT dial this number again. Otherwise leave a message. I will get back to you or whatever. Have a good day.
20 June 2011
Hello, you have reached the cellphone. Ye-listen, I screen my calls, so it is very unlikely that I will ever pickup on you especially if I have not met you in person. So you're better off just leaving a message, and I will listen to it, I may or may not get back. Don't call my number again- ha-had repeatedly. So, yeah, with that, you have reached the cellphone, please leave your name, message, and telephone number, I may get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.
2 July 2011
Hello, please leave a message at the beep and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.
15 July 2011
Hello, you have reach sh-cell phone. Christian Chandler. Please leave your name, message, and phone number and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.
- No recording.
6 December 2011
Hello, I'm sick. Don't call this number again. Otherwise leave a message at the beep... Have a good day...
9 December 2011
Hello. Please leave your name, message, and telephone number, and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.
11 February 2012
Hello, all unsolicited calls will be deleted! Other than that, please leave your name, message, and telephone number, and we will considerably get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day!
30 April 2012
Chris: [maniacal laughter] You trolls got served! [maniacal laughter] Oh, you know what to do after the beep.
3 May 2012
Chris: Hello, leave your name message and telephone number after the beep. Have a good day.
- No recording
6 May 2012
Chris: Hello, please leave your name and number and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.
- No recording
20 May 2012
Hello, please leave your name, message, and telephone number and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.
- No recording
4 June 2012
Your call is being forwarded to an "I don't give a damn" service! Do not stay on the line! Do not dial this number ever again in your lifetime! Goodbye!
12 June 2012
Hello. I do not understand people. Leave me alone, or leave me a message with your name--telephone number, leave message..I'll get back to you..if I know you in person..or...somethin'. Whatever. Um.. have a good day.
Between Mid-2012 and Mid-2014
[singing] Believe it or not, this is Christian Chandler's phone. Please leave a message at the beep. I must be busy, or I'd pick up the phone. What the hell now? Believe it or not, I'm really stressed.
January 2015
[in an overly-feminine tone] Hello, you have reached this cellphone. Leave your name and address and telephone number and I may get back to yooouu. Have a good day.
June 2015
(in a voice not unlike a 50-year-old woman) Hello! You have reached Christine's CELLphone. Please leave your name, message, and telephone (voice cracks) number, and I may get back to you soon. Have a good day!