View source for Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|I [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] those seven people (between the cast of the three illegal videos) to [[death threats|DIE and BURN]]!

As for [[Adam Stackhouse|Adam]], if he is reading this and is asking, "You've got something to say to me?" I do, P.S. F*** You, you [[Dreams|Dream]] Smashing Son of a B****!|[[PSN blogs]]}}

[[File:PaRappaContestInfo.jpg|thumb|Original promo info about the contest]]

In [[2007|June 2007]], [[Sony]] Computer Entertainment [[United States of America|America]] (SCEA) announced the '''Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown''' contest to promote the video game ''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]''. Contestants were to film themselves performing either Chop Chop Master Onion's rap, Instructor Mooselini's rap or Cheap Cheap the Cooking Chicken's rap a capella. The grand prize winner of the contest would receive two [[PSP of Fail|PSPs]] and an all-expenses-paid trip to Seattle for the 2007 Penny Arcade Expo.

The contest was of monumental importance, as it would achieve goals for [[Christian Weston Chandler]] on multiple fronts. Beyond his innate desire to win contests by making an ass of himself on film, Chris hoped to bestow one of the PSPs to his beloved [[Megan Schroeder]] and invite her to accompany him on the trip, thereby creating an opportunity for her to [[China|give in]] to her obvious passion for him. The potential benefits could not be overstated. Failure to win the contest was not an option.

==The Original Version==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|nJ3o3kQZWm8}}</center>

==Chris's Version: "Master Onion A-La Mode"==
{{Infobox/video
| name           = Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown
| ytid           = cEmM4JKZK8I
| stardate       = 29 [[June 2007]]
| subject        = {{Music|text}}, {{Video games|text}}
| style          = {{Comedy|text}}
| saga           = {{Megan|text}} {{Stackhouse|text}}
| shirt          = {{OrangeShirt|text}}
| previous       = [[Soul Calibur#Chris vs Mary Lee Walsh|SOUL CALIBUR: Chris vs Mary Lee Walsh]]
| next           = [[CWC is Angry]]
}}

To ensure nothing less than total victory, Chris elected to perform the "Chop Chop Master Onion Rap". Despite claiming this was the only song he knew from the game, Chris clearly didn't know it all that well, considering that he reads its lyrics while "performing," not having bothered to rehearse/learn the lines. But then again, have any of his videos looked even remotely prepared? Oddly, he peppers the video with various video effects that seem to come from the [[PSEye]] program EyeCreate, including a hilarious caption of "Birthday Boy" popping up during when Chris first does the "[[duck]] and turn" part of the song. It could be assumed that Chris did so to make his video look 'nice', but in the end it made it turn into laughing material. Towards the end of the video, Chris can be seen [[Chris and health|struggling to breathe]] from close to three minutes of extremely mild exercise. Also, at one point, a fire effect is shown at the bottom of the screen. [[Destruction Of Chris's House|Make of that what you will]].

{{quote|This previously submitted PaRapper [''sic''] the Rapper "Master Onion A-La Mode" Video is among the TOP TEN to win the GRAND PRIZE. And I would TRULY APPRECIATE your generous Vote, so please click the highlighted link to the Playstation Website's Voting page. **I am Video NUMBER 7 (scroll down; the one with the Blue Guitar)** You have the power to make my AUTISTIC life SO MUCH BETTER. Thank You. :) (more)}}

=== Transcript ===

<poem>Hey, P-Station, my name is Christian Chandler
I live in [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville, Virginia]]!
I have a PSP, I like to rap,
I play PaRappa, and go with him now.
The only song I know is "Master Onion"
Which I got from a demo I borrowed from my friend Megan!

I have a PSP and she don't,
So give me the PSP; unwrap the wrapper,
So I can give one to her, and then we can play together!

So here we go, we're gonna sing it now.
Master Onion, A-La Mode!

[[CWC Fighter|Kick! Punch!]] It's all in the m-mind.
If you wanna test me, I'm sure you will find
That you all things, I'll teach ya sure to beat ya,
Nevertheless, you'll get a lesson from teacher now

Kick (Kick)
Punch (Punch)
Chop (Chop)
Block (Block)

Once more now. Kick (Kick)
Punch (Punch)
Chop (Chop)
And Block (Block)

Don't get cocky, it's doesn't get [[Rocky Shoemaker|rocky]],
We gonna move down to the next ya jockey now

Duck ([[Duck]])
Jump (Jump)
Turn (Turn)
And Pose (Pose)

Listen carefully. Jump (Jump)
Pose (Pose)
Duck (Duck)
and Turn (Turn)

Hmm, yeah, I see you're getting better,
Kick to the limit in order to get her now

Kick Punch (Kick Punch)
Chop Block (Chop Block)
Chop Kick (Chop Kick)
Punch Block (Punch Block)

It's gonna get harder now Duck & Jump (Duck & Jump)
Turn & Pose (Turn & Pose)
Duck & Turn (Duck & Turn)
Jump & Pose (Jump Pose)

Come on now, why don't you follow my words,
Because we're almost done, I'll make things worse.
I wanna see if you wanna see what it means
To be the man with the master plan. Are you the man now?

Here we go now. Kick Punch Block (Kick Punch Block)
Chop Kick Block (Chop Kick Block)
Block Turn & Kick it (Block Turn & Kick it)
Block Duck Punch (Block Duck Punch)
Duck Duck Turn (Duck Duck Turn)
Jump Kick Chop (Jump Kick Chop)
and Punch Punch Punch (Punch Punch Punch)

That's it for today.
Good job, PaRappa!
You can go to the next stage now.
Yahoo! Alright!

PaRappa, I'm so proud of you!
Congratulations!
Alright. Thank ya, teacha!
Again: what?

Man, you’re so good!
I got a [[Muscle bra|tit]]-loose memory, money
With students like you…
Wanna try a super-beginner’s course?

You’re pick—you’re pickin’ on me too fast!
I'm outta here!

[[Guitar Hero]] on [[PlayStation 3]]
Don't press the PS button after select hang, see?
Make sure you hook up with the converter controller
Dude, rock on, yo! Nananananaaaa!

Rap, rap, rap! That's a wrap!</poem>

==Campaign==
[[File:Stink Lines by Archwig.jpg|thumb|Artist's interpretation]]

Chris's video made it into the top 10, giving him just a small amount of luck as the contest was rather obscure (at the time) and a little more than 10 people entered. The winner was to be selected from a vote by PlayStation Underground members in [[July 2007]]. Chris asked for votes from many people:

* At [[The GAMe PLACe]], Chris handed out fliers telling people to vote for him. To ensure success, he read everything off the flier to each person before giving it over. Obviously, no one voted.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Chris's history and personality]]</ref>
* Chris badgered his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] to vote. In return, Cole asked Chris to find out from their [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] about the real identity of Cole's biological father.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-21.PNG|21 July 2007 email]]</ref> Cole ended up never voting because either Chris did not care about Cole's plight, or he simply was just that lazy.
* Chris also asked Susan Hannifan,<ref>[[Chris emails 2007#July]]</ref> a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] guidance counselor to whom Chris showed a disrespectful attitude in the past.<ref>[[Chris emails 2004-2006#February 2004]]</ref>
* Chris wrote ads on [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]], [[CWC's Pokésite 2]], [[MySpace]], [[PSN blogs|PSN]], his [[Hot Wheels]] site, and his Bionicle site.<ref>[[Megan emails, Jan-July 2007#Chris wishes her a happy birthday, Megan still in Kentucky, Chris whores himself for votes]]</ref>

Chris also took matters into his own hands by stuffing the ballot with an endless stream of votes on different fake accounts. On the day before voting ended, he posted his own reviews of the top 10 videos in his [[PSN blogs#31 July 2007 12:59 — Last Day to VOTE, Rappers!|PSN blog]].{{clear}}

{{quote|Such honesty of his situation and devotion for his lucky girlfriend adds great emotions to his performance. The visually appealing effects added the best humor and biggest laugh I had among the bunch. I enjoyed the fun background of his assumed-to-be bedroom. And his informative feedback on playing [[Guitar Hero]] on Playstation 3 was truly a wise and great addition. Also, he has nailed the lyrics A-Capella. :) As this brave [[autistic|AUTISTIC]] warrior so creatively put it at the end, "Rap, Rap, Rap, That's a Wrap!" Truly the cherry on the top of the sundae. A perfect score of 5/5 Stars for his marvelous effort, and smiling at knowing he looked a bit stupid. :)|Chris, describing his video in third person}}

==Results==

{{quote|Changing the lyrics will result in disqualification.|Official contest rules}}

[[Image:Cchanmegan.jpg|thumb|Chris thought that he could easily win the contest and the heart of his Sweetest [[Megan]]. Chris was, unsurprisingly, wrong.]]

The competition was won by [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Being the narcissist manchild he is, Chris has bore a grudge against him for a long time, as he felt Adam broke "da rules"<ref>[[PSN blogs#31 July 2007 12:59 — Last Day to VOTE, Rappers!|PSN blog, 31 July 2007]]</ref> by having music and multiple people in his entry. Chris loathed the 2nd and 3rd place winners for having music as well. In actuality, the beatboxing in Adam's video is technically [[Wikipedia:A cappella|a cappella]]. Furthermore, another top 10 finalist claimed that he had removed his own music to avoid breaking the rules, but [[Sony]] said it was fine.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWwfRqMZ6QE Momo :: Chop Chop Master Onion Showdown (w/music)] video on [[YouTube]]</ref>

Chris, of course, violated the rules to a far worse extent than Adam - inserting his own lyrics, to say nothing of rampant vote-stuffing. How Chris even made the top 10 is a mystery; the judges likely observed the obvious fact that something is [[Slow-in-the-Minds|wrong]] with Chris and took pity on him.

Relentless vote stuffing did earn Chris a reward, however. The rules state that finalists would "...get their Submissions published on PlayStation.com, and will receive a copy of the game PaRappa the Rapper for the PSP® (PlayStation®Portable) system and some PaRappa branded premium items such as a PSP skin, PSP charm, and a PaRappa signature beanie (ARV $60)." Or, as Chris explains in [[PS3 History level]], "copy of the PSP version of the PSOne classic, a charm, HIS hat, and 5 PSP-1000 Skins." (It is unknown why "HIS" is all capitalized. PaRappa is neither divine in nature, nor exactly a paragon of masculinity.)
{{-}}

==Aftermath==

Infuriated over his loss, Chris sent an angry email to Sony executives on 3 [[August 2007]], blasting them for refusing to award him the Seattle trip. 

The email is a whiny and rambling tirade where Chris begs for first prize, because winning the video game contest represented his only opportunity at losing his [[virgin with rage]] status to [[Megan Schroeder]] and giving birth to his daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]. Furthermore, Chris accuses the company of discriminating against autistic individuals, solely for failing to reward them with [[Chris and his Ego|special treatment]]:<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2007#August]]</ref>

{{quote|I REALLY WANTED THAT TRIP SO I COULD HAVE A CHANCE TO IMPRESS MY SWEETEST MEGAN AND POSSIBLY FULFILL MY DREAM OF GETTING MARRIED AND SOON HAVE A DAUGHTER NAMED [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|CRYSTAL]]. YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN BALLZ-BROKEN LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "[[Kick the Autistic|KICK THE AUTISTIC]]!" *[[stress sigh|sigh]]*

[[Chris and reality|I had my fantasies]] of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|having fun with Megan]], taking her to a really extravagent [''sic''] destination (I am not rich), taking a long-wanted tour of the [[Nintendo]] of America company tour, with her, playing [[Guitar Hero]] against the guy in the PaRappa costume, jamming with Megan in the hotel room and possibly our [[Chris and sex|first time in the bed]]... *sigh*

[[CWC is Sad|Life can be soooooooooo unfair and f***ing corrupt.]]

But I digress; TAKE THE A-CAPELLA RULE TO THE MAX on those THREE out of ten videos.

Take care; Christian Weston Chandler. (:_( |}}

On 4 August, Chris raged multiple times on his [[PSN blogs#4 August 2007 — Adam Stackhouse!!!|PSN blog]] against Adam and the other winners, using his time-honored "Kick the Autistic" crutch. When people told him to relax, he told them to shut up: this resulted in a temporary ban from PSN moderators. 

The same day, Chris sent another angry e-mail to Sony executives, this time enclosing a systematic dissection of why everyone else's video was in violation of contest rules. Chris evidently [[Chris and hypocrisy|overlooked]] his own questionable ethics of mercilessly vote-stuffing with sockpuppet accounts and begging everyone on his e-mail contact list to vote for him. Sony later replied with a canned response, indicating that his letter was not even read at all and that Chris would need to resort to more drastic measures.

Two days later, Chris would continue his rampage against Adam Stackhouse by creating a fake [http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html webpage] designed to show himself as the true winner of the contest. That page substituted his own name for Stackhouse's and also included the following disclaimer:

{{quote|<nowiki>*</nowiki>The EX-Winner, Adam Stackhouse, was DISQUALIFIED on the grounds of violating the Official Rules on TWO COUNTS: <br>
-He Had Licensed BeatBox Music playing from a licensed BoomBox. <br>
-He Had his SISTER ILLEGALLY in the video without authorized consent.<br> 
<br>
We of the Playstation Underground apologize for the confusion and inconvience of not having dealt with this INJUSTICE sooner. Please disregard any web pages that may state the contrary; they shall be taken down by our webmaster momentary}}

He then went around various PSN News posts and left comments with the following:<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2007/08/warhawk-goes-gold/comment-page-9/</ref><ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2007/08/comment-monitoring/comment-page-4/</ref>

{{quote|I wanted to mention a small concern… there is a link to the True Real Winner of the Chop Chop Master Onion Contest at
<nowiki>http://groups.myspace.com/CWCandFriendsCustoms</nowiki>.
Yet, when I click the link on us.playstation.com, I get a different “Winner”.
I Do Not Know Who To Believe! Do I believe the Official-Rule-Violating adamstackhouse, or do I believe the [[List of Chris's Lies|Honest]], Autistic CWCSonichu?}}

Chris later escalated his campaign by producing a video titled [[CWC is Angry]]. In the video, Chris prints out a picture of Stackhouse and his sister and uses it as a pellet gun target for two continuous minutes. Although the video was originally intended to be a vindictive show of intimidation, the mood was spoiled by an episode of ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' blaring loudly in the background, not to mention Chris' weapon of choice was a [[Megatron pistol|toy]] [[Transformer]].

During Chris's struggle to be recognized as the rightful winner of the contest, Megan informed him that she was glad he lost because she had no interest in going on a trip alone with him, given his hands-on approach to their relationship. Whether or not she would have accompanied him, she was upset by his in-person interactions with her. The way Chris treated Adam and his sister after they won probably did not help matters either. Chris finally went on to claim that he had contracted a "[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|gut virus]]" due to the strain on his body from slapping together his half-assed contest entry. From that point onwards, Megan's [[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007|e-mail correspondence with Chris]] became much less frequent and a little cooler in tone, indicating that while [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] may have been the final nail in the coffin for their friendship, the fall-out from this contest was the first nail in that coffin.

Two versions of the video exist. The one that Chris uploaded later to his YouTube channel has an additional photograph of Megan between the first and second verses. This version is most likely the original version ''before'' Megan broke off contact with Chris, as is evidenced by [[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Megan is annoyed and creeped out|an angry email she sent him after returning from her Kentucky trip]].<ref>"Also I can't say I like how '''you used my photo in your video'''... (emphasis added)</ref>

On 31 [[October 2007|October]], Chris made a fake Parappa profile on MySpace to ease his pain from losing the contest--Parappathe''[[Rape|raping]]''<nowiki></nowiki>dog. [[Chris and English|Good job]].<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20080705130230/http://www.myspace.com/sonichucwc</ref>

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name           = CWC-Tok
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|TLN-6lKDdhI}}
| maker          = {{Liquid|text}}
| stardate       = 9 [[January 2010]]
| type           = Remix of "TiK ToK" by Ke$ha
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name           = Chop Chop Master Onion Rap
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|YfW82twiD5E}}
| maker          = SiIvaGunner
| stardate       = 25 [[May 2016]]
| type           = High quality video game rip
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name           = MUSIC VIDEO - CWC PaRappa the Rapper Onion A-La Mode RE-ENACTMENT
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|bw17ZHAMN98}}
| maker          = CopperCab
| stardate       = 19 [[October 2017]]
| type           = Re-enactment of Chris's rap
}}

==References==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Adam Stackhouse]]
*[[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]]
*[[CWC is Angry]]
*''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]''
*[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]

==Download==
*[https://gofile.io/d/AAEjJy Original file]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Soul Calibur|Chris-chan vs. Mary Lee Walsh]]|nextlink=[[CWC is Angry]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Contests]]
[[Category:Yo! CWC Raps]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2007| 2007-06-29]]
[[Category:Megan Saga]]