Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9 is the ninth call between Chris and Alec, which took place 25th February 2010.

Summary

The call begins with Alec asking Chris how his birthday was and then asking about his reasoning behind the recent disturbing developments in Sonichu 10. Alec points out some notable hypocrisy in regards to Chris's use of violence in issue 10, given that Chris has criticized the Asperchu and Sonichu Revolution comics for using a lot of violence. Alec goes on to call out Chris for trying to weasel out of the conditions he had agreed to in earlier phone calls and telling him off for not listening to him...again.

Chris defends his actions with the always amazing excuse that "he was still filled with anger," which, you know, totally makes everything O.K. Alec also points out that "apologizing" is not quite equal to "violently murdering the people you wronged in your shitty comic." The two argue about the issue of Simonla, and the fact that Chris didn't exactly kill her in the manner promised AND introduced the character "Sandy", Simonla's daughter, defeating the entire purpose of eliminating Simonla. They discuss copyright and Chris's misunderstanding of the concept, in addition to Chris's massive ego.

Chris-chan's Love Day is brought up. Chris denies ripping off Independence Day and claims that trying to make his own birthday a national holiday isn't completely unreasonable in any way, shape or form. Chris states that the Mexican Flag Day (which is coincidentally the same day as his birthday) "could be better," which implies that it "could be better" by celebrating his birthday on a national level AND he says that there should be a second day in addition to Valentine's Day to celebrate love and his birthday "just feels right." When Alec mentions that he's definitely creating a dumb ass cover-up for wanting his own birthday to be a holiday, Chris dances around the question like a drunken retard (how fitting).

Chris also admits he likes it when people kiss his ass, which has been kind of obvious for a long time. Chris then proves he knows nothing of Christianity (also obvious). Chris also admits he believes Simonla has always been his and tries to explain why it's not O.K. to parody a parody (it's as retarded as it sounds). In addition, Alec catches Chris in another lie about how many pages he had done. Chris blames the trolls.

The call appears to end with Chris hanging up mid-sentence.

Video

Transcript

Alec: Hey Chris, it's Alec.

Chris: Oh. Hi, Alec.I was not...

Alec: Hey, Happy birthday!

Chris: [Annoyed] I wasn't- okay, well I was not expecting you.

Alec: Yeah, yeah.

Chris: So, thank you.

Alec: Yeah. Yeah, how was, how was your birthday today?

Chris: My birthday was yesterday, and it was, it was, it was good.

Alec: Oh, oh, it was, it was yesterday?

Chris: I spent it with my family. Yeah.

Alec: Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Well, yeah, I saw the pages you got uploaded today. Um, yeah... Uh... What's up with that trial, Chris? That was kinda like, that was kind of, uh, out of left field. That was... I didn't expect that at all.

Chris: Yeah, well, you drew, you drew, you, uh, drew me, you drew, you drew me in a set-, in a setup of, uh, the, of uh, being beared false witness from uh, from your, from your parody of my Sonichu. In, uh, comparison of uh, that, of the other Chris being the real one and not me, which I was the real deal. And then you set me on fire. And then recently, you per-, you portrayed me getting my head getting chopped off with a sawblade! With gory detail!

Alec: Chris, you didn't read that, that last page. Did you read the, um, the page? 'Cause, what happened there was, um, that was a picture of the real you in the comic, and I said, you know, like your head got chopped off but then you came right back and said "No, it's okay, we're just faking". I didn't, your head didn't actually get chopped off.

Chris: Hmm.

Alec: Yeah.

Chris: Okay, it could maybe have more obvious.

Alec: Well, if you read the text it would have been obvious. You know.

Chris: Hmm.

Alec: It, there was a lot, there was text there, I mean, I spelled it out I specifically had you say "Don't worry, this is fake!", you know, "My head's not really chopped off. I'm fine." You know, um, you accuse me of using, er, well, not accused, of using violence, I do use violence, that's true. But I was just kind of, uh... It seems kind of weird that your comic has suddenly taken a very gory turn. I mean, like...

Chris: [Interrupting] It's just, it's just, it's just one time.

Alec: But you said violence is wrong, though. One time's...

Chris: [Interrupting again] But I... Yeah, well, you, you, you did violence unto me, I was just returning the favor.

Alec: Oh, revenge is okay, though? Chris, you said violence is wrong. You didn't say it's okay in the case of revenge. [long pause] And, I'm kinda, I'm kinda curious, why is this trial taking place? Like, why are Alec and Mao and me, er, Alec and Mao and uh, Evan and Sean, uh, why are we on trial?

Chris: [takes a smug tone] Okay, let me see. The, uh, copy-, copycat, the whole bunch of copy-, copycat of practically everything from my, nearly everything from my books. Set me on fire, chopping my head off, false witness, and uh, oh yeah, how about wanting to kill Simonla Rosechu?

Alec: Um... Do you remember all the times we talked about Simonla? Where I explained to you that I wanted you to kill her because she's not your character, and Evan wanted her gone from your comic?

Chris: Yeah.

Alec: Chris, you told me, you swore up and down to me that, that you understood the point I was trying to get across to you and that you understood what I...

Chris: [Interrupting yet again] Yeah I did, yeah I did understand that. Yeah I-

Alec: [Shutting Chris down] Well, no! You're lying to me, Chris. You obviously didn't.

Chris: No, I did, I did...-

Alec: [Refusing to put up with Chris's bullshit excuses] God Chris, I can't believe, I cannot believe you did this Chris. You, you know I thought that you were just, you know, kinda going "Yeah, uh-huh" just mouthing along and pretending to understand and saying what I wanted to hear to get me off the phone. And you know, I said that to you. I asked you, "Are you doing that?" And you said "No," you said no. You, you promised you understood, you would comply, you believed what I was saying. But then this trial comes along and what you're telling me right now is apparently my words went in one ear and out the other with you. And you think that, that me and Evan did something wrong to you. You think that you have done nothing wrong? Do you seriously belive that we are, you know, antagonists and that you are just a saint here?

Chris: Hmmm. Let me think about that a moment. To ask my question best.

Alec: Okay, well, while you're thinking about it, remember: Don't tell me the answer that you think I want to hear. Tell me what you really believe. That's the answer that I actually want to hear, is what you really believe.

[Tense pause. Chris is watching South Park in the background.]

Alec: You know, I'm looking at... Uh, the page here where you had like 10 people simultaneously electrocute me. Sonichu says [wimpy voice] "Oh I'm not gay!"

[Chris attempts to respond, Alec drowns him out.]

Alec: Chris, how many times, how many times did I tell... Okay, another thing, apparently, you didn't listen to. How many times did I tell you that I never portrayed Sonichu as gay? I explained clearly to you. Because you thought that he and Asperchu are gay, and I explained to you, "No, they're just, they were just hugging because they're friends, they're close friends." And I thought that you understood that, but... Go ahead.

Chris: Yeah, but like it'd be, but the portrayal could be misconstr-, construed, especially with the, uh, all the pink, all the pink-hearted drawings that you did...

Alec: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you did misconstrue it.

Chris: And the one, and the one where they were, the one where they were lying next to each other, in a bed situation...

Alec: Okay, okay, you did misconstrue it. That's true. And then you brought that up to me, and then I explained to you what it really meant. And now you apparently ignored that and just, you say, Sonichu says, "eeewww, you're portraying me as gay." I'm not portraying Sonichu as gay. I've never done that. The only gay characters in my comic are Wild and Simonchu... Well, Simonchu's bisexual. And, uh, I think that's it right now, actually. Well, Mitch, Mitch is gay in my comic. Although I haven't shown him having a lover yet. You know, none of my fans misunderstood that.

Chris: Hm.

Alec: I mean, not that it really matters, because the point is that you misunderstood it, you brought it up to me, and I explained it to you. I don't care that you misunderstood something, what I care about is that you apparently didn't even listen when I explained it to you. Because anybody can misunderstand something, but you brought it up to me, I explained it to you, and you made it sound like you did understand. But apparently you didn't.

Chris: Actually, I did understand, but I still had the anger and rage, I still had the anger against you. And I wanted to bear, I wanted to...

Alec: No! No. Why? Why would you have anger against me? If I explained...

Chris: One, uh, one big reason is continuing the adverts, continuing the blasphemous advertisements on my CWCipedia against me. Those are like...

Alec: [shouting over Chris] Oh, really? Hey, hey, hey, do you remember when I explained to you...

Chris: Especially, especially the ones declaring my birthday as Asperchu Day...

Alec: HEY! Chris. Chris! Do you remember when I explained to you last time that my ads are staying up there because you completely insulted me, and didn't respect what I wanted you to do in the apology video? But what you're saying me now is, you think that the ads are an attack on you. You're just completely forgetting what I told you before. Or maybe you're not forgetting it, maybe you're just choosing to disregard it. They were a direct consequence of your actions. You had the power to get rid of the ads and you did nothing. So how can you be mad at me for having the ads up? [pause] When I gave you several ways out, and you didn't take them?

Chris: Well, at least I, at least I, when, at least I went by your request and put, and hand-wrote all the apologies and everything, and killed Simonla.

Alec: Oh, oh no. You said that me and Mao and Sean and Evan killed Simonla. That's what your comic says. Apparently you didn't fulfill that part of the requirement either. Because I wanted you to kill her, but you accused me of killing her. And then you killed us in your comic. What kind of apology is that? When... Okay, an apology is when you do something wrong, you acknowledge it, and you make reparations to whoever was wronged. An apology is not where, um, you attack the person that you owe an apology to.

Chris: Hmm.

Alec: It's like you said... It's like you handed me a bowl of ice cream, said, "Hey, here's some ice cream for you," but then just as I reached out for it, you threw it on the ground. That's kind of what it feels like. Chris, do you remember last time, I told you that you were the one who drew the Voltorb? You were the one who killed Simonla.

Chris: Hm. Yeah, well, requesting the death of one of my characters comes with a price.

Alec: I'm sorry, what was that?

Chris: And, and I had... I said request of the, request of the killing of one of my characters...

Alec: NOT YOUR CHARACTER. Not, no, Simonla was not your character. She was Evan's.

Chris: Yeah, but anyway, with all the writing, with all the writing...

Alec: "Yeah, but anyway"?

Chris: With all the, uh...

Alec: You said, "Yeah, but anyway." Are you acknowledging that Simonla was not yours?

Chris: [pause] I acknowledge that Simonla was not mine, but I did not...

Alec: You just, but, two minutes ago you said...

Chris: I did not care very much for all the anger and torments and that such abuse that I continued to get from Evan. Anger...

Alec: What, what abuse did you get from him?

Chris: Verbal, verbal abuse and...

Alec: Like how?

Chris: In the Mailbag.

Alec: He sent you e-mails requesting you to stop using the character that was his.

Chris: And then threatening me with, sick his lawyers on me...

Alec: Yeah. Because you were committing illegal acts against him.

Chris: Anyway, the point is, Simonla is dead now.

Alec: Yeah, well, no, the point is that, um, you apparently don't listen when I talk to you. That's my point. Right?

Chris: Hm. Actually...

Alec: Because you believe that you are in the right, and everyone else is in the wrong. And you... Is that your TV going in the background? Do you ever turn your TV off when you talk to people on the phone? That might be kinda...

Chris: I do turn my... Well, actually, I do turn the TV off sometimes. [takes a self-righteous tone] Alright, I'll turn it off now.

Alec: Well, thank you, I appreciate that. Okay.

Chris: Okay.

Alec: Alright. Thank you for that. Um, who is is Sandy, by the way? Sandy, like Simonla's daughter?

Chris: Wild and Simonla's daughter. Yes.

Alec: How can Simonla have a daughter when she's not supposed to exist in your comic? You know, Evan might get pissed about Sandy existing.

Chris: Well, the, well, still, Sandy did not originate from Simonchu.

Alec: She kinda looks like, exactly like Simonla, but with, like, Lisa Simpson hair. She did originate from, she's like a clone of Simonla.

Chris: Well, she is not a clone of Simonla, she is a Ground-type rosechu.

Alec: Yeah. Isn't that what Simonla was? Do you even realize the point of getting rid of Simonla in the first place? It was because... Okay. Evan was mad about Simonla because Simonla was just a rip-off of Simonchu. And it looks like Sandy is a rip-off of Simonla, which by corollary makes her a rip-off of Simonchu as well.

Chris: [long pause] I disagree with that.

Alec: You can disagree all you want. Doesn't make it true. You can tell me the sky is orange as much as you want, it doesn't change the fact that the sky is blue. I mean, judges will agree with that one.

Chris: Okay, well, actually, still, Sandy does have an origin that's definitely not, definitely not one that Simonla was from. Explained lately, it's based off of somebody's, some other character.

Alec: She originates from Simonla.

Chris: She actually, she actually was born as a rosee...

Alec: From Simonla.

Chris: [sigh, long pause]

Alec: You know, this probably doesn't matter a whole lot, I bet you're never going to use Sandy again. I mean...

Chris: Oh yes I will! Because, because we need a constructor, we need, we need the main constructor in the city of CWCville, and Simonla was that, so now Sandy has to be the one who fills in Simonla's shoes.

Alec: Can't you just have, like, a construction crew? Like, you know, construction workers with vehicles? How can one person really do all the construction?

Chris: Simonla, Simonla was head builder, she did have a crew. And when you take out the leader the whole crew falls.

Alec: Okay, don't you think that crew... You know, I'm sure she had, like, a second-in-command, alright. Don't you think that her crew might feel kind of insulted that, um, you have, like, a person who is a week old just take control? Inheriting the crew. So you, you've got a construction crew that runs, like...

Chris: No, she was, she's not, well, she's not, Sandy's not going to take the reins prematurely like that...

Alec: You just said that...

Chris: She's going through heavy training.

Alec: Why? So she's child labor?

Chris: No, not child labor.

Alec: Well, she's like a week old, and you already had her assassinate people. I mean, that's...

Chris: The point of that was that they were revenged against Evan for having, for even thinking of killing off Simonla.

Alec: But you killed Simonla.

Chris: Because I was forced, because I felt forced to by, between, by y'all.

Alec: That's correct, we did force you to, because your refused to acknowledge that... Chris, what is copyright infringement? Give me your definition.

Chris: [pause] Copyright infringement...

Alec: Yes. I'd like to hear your definition.

Chris: [another pause] The misuse...of a character that originally belonged to somebody else.

Alec: Oh! Really.

Chris: Without their consent.

Alec: Okay, now, how does that connect to Simonla? You misused, you misused Simonla because she rightfully belonged to someone else.

Chris: Yeah, well, still, even still, even Sonichu was originally mine, and I have a copy-, I have the copyright registration forms to prove that.

Alec: So? What does that have to do with Simonla? You stole... Don't change the subject, Chris. You stole Simonchu and screwed around with him. Two wrongs make a right, is that, is that the case?

Chris: That is not the point I am trying to make.

Alec: Well, then, why do you...

Chris: That is fairly, that is fairly accurate though.

Alec: When we're talking about Simonla, why do you bring up Sonichu's copyright? What does that have to do with it?

Chris: Because you drew him, because you drew him in your pages without my consent, and then, and then made him look like, look like a homosexual. Or appear as such.

Alec: Why does what I... Why does anything that I do have anything at all to do with how you treat Evan and his property? Why do you want to punish one person for, for a wrong that you perceive another unrelated person doing?

Chris: Hm.

Alec: I am not Evan. Evan is not me. Chris, do you... Okay, this... Goddammit, Chris, this is just like, remember when you were complaining about how, you know, the trolls and ED attack you, and you used that as an excuse for why you treat me like shit? Why do you think it's okay to treat some random person like shit just because you've been treated badly, by other people that aren't related?

Chris: Okay, well, now, to correct you, it is not, I did not do it on a random person, quote unquote, I actually had reasons to do it against you and your crew.

Alec: I asked you why you stole something from Evan, which happened a long time ago, as I understand it, actually, well before I created Asperchu, and your response is that, you know, it's because of something I draw.

Chris: Well, I'm just saying, that was...

Alec: If I remember right...

Chris: ...why I did, why I didn't care for what you did very much, and that was what you did there.

Alec: Chris, when someone asks you a question, it's polite to respond with an answer that is relevant to the question. When I asked you why you think it's okay to steal Simonchu from Evan, please don't respond by going off on some unrelated tangent about how you don't like me.

Chris: Hm.

Alec: Okay? Now, if I remember right, on that Simonchu article, before you doctored it to make it look different, it said that it was like in August of 2008 that you, quote unquote, created Simonla. That's a long time, that's over a year before I created Asperchu. I created Asperchu not even three months ago.

Chris: Mm-kay. Hm.

Alec: Okay? Okay what?

Chris: Well, let me think about that a moment so I can properly answer the question about the, uh... The quote unquote character theft.

Alec: You know what, I don't really want to go over whether you think stealing Simonchu is right or wrong or not, because we've done that before, and you, you know, I was fooled, I thought that I had gotten some kind of response out of you, which turned out to be a complete lie. Because you, to this day, still believe that Simonla is yours and everyone else is evil. I just want to know why, why you think that you're perfect, and that everyone else who has a disagreement with you is automatically wrong.

Chris: Well, to correct you, I never thought that I was perfect! I am imperfect, for a few reasons...

Alec: You still think that you're better than everyone else.

Chris: And one of which is definitely the high-functioning autism.

20:39

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