Difference between revisions of "The Hook Cafe"
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[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's profile image, which partially revives his old Ash Ketchum look.]] | |||
[[Image:direct2sex.jpg|thumb|A screenshot of the ad, as of 5 April 2010.]] | |||
The local free weekly paper in [[Charlottesville]] is ''The Hook'', and its online personal ads are called '''The Hook Cafe'''. Some time in early 2010, Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the nickname "direct2sex," declaring that he "Need Sexy Sweets from Woman." | The local free weekly paper in [[Charlottesville]] is ''The Hook'', and its online personal ads are called '''The Hook Cafe'''. Some time in early 2010, Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the nickname "direct2sex," declaring that he "Need Sexy Sweets from Woman." | ||
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*Chris fills his spare time, so he says, with "Reading, Creating, Playing sports, Clubbing, Working out, Watching movies, Shopping, Dining out, Biking." | *Chris fills his spare time, so he says, with "Reading, Creating, Playing sports, Clubbing, Working out, Watching movies, Shopping, Dining out, Biking." | ||
*Chris's "funniest thing" is "A man chasing a dog. And the dog has a ham in its mouth." | *Chris's "funniest thing" is "A man chasing a dog. And the dog has a ham in its mouth." | ||
*Asked to quote a line from his [[Mary Poppins|favorite movie]], he chose "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious," but didn't quite manage to spell it right. | |||
==External links== | ==External links== | ||
Revision as of 18:54, 5 April 2010
The local free weekly paper in Charlottesville is The Hook, and its online personal ads are called The Hook Cafe. Some time in early 2010, Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the nickname "direct2sex," declaring that he "Need Sexy Sweets from Woman."
As far as anyone can tell, no sexy sweets have been forthcoming.
The introduction
The basic summary at the top of the ad is as follows:
| I am an honest, compassionate gentleman, with a good sense of humor. I am looking for good time(s) with a woman; I'm not getting any younger. I would like a 21-28 year old woman with a pretty face, a sexy slim to average body and an honest and compassionate personality. Show me your honest and sweet interest and love, and I'll show you a good time. Hit me up with an e-mail with your photo and digits, and I will respond quickly in suit. Smokers, overweights, blacks and liars need not apply. |
What Chris is looking for in a woman doesn't seem to have changed much since the old days of the Attraction Sign. He doesn't mention that he wants a woman who can financially support him, but he still makes a point of ruling out black women, smokers, and his fellow fatsos.
Chris describes Chris
Chris bills himself as a single man, seeking a woman for "Friends with benefits, Some Action, Casual Dating." Under "Body Type," he describes himself as "Average, Muscular, Height / Weight proportionate," which most observers would consider optimistic at the very least. He also makes a point of describing his heterochromatic eyes.
The details
In a section made up of snappy responses to vapid questions, Chris offers a few more revealing remarks.
- Asked to "design his ideal mate," Chris says she would have "the brain of a college graduate and the body of a Playboy Womam."
- Says Chris: "The quickest way to my heart is sweet compassion The quickest way to my bed is honest lovin' And in the morning, I like my eggs cooked fried and well-done"
- His favorite restaurant is still Golden Corral, and he makes a point of announcing his love for Sonic the Hedgehog.
- Chris fills his spare time, so he says, with "Reading, Creating, Playing sports, Clubbing, Working out, Watching movies, Shopping, Dining out, Biking."
- Chris's "funniest thing" is "A man chasing a dog. And the dog has a ham in its mouth."
- Asked to quote a line from his favorite movie, he chose "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious," but didn't quite manage to spell it right.