Difference between revisions of "Chris and the Internet"

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The '''Internet''' is a specialized computer programming that allows the transmission of data through long distances through a massive collection of networks connected all over the world. The Internet has grown since its first real conception in the 1980s as a means for universities to communicate with each other. It is said that nearly 2 billion people are connected to the Internet.
The '''Internet''' is a specialized computer programming that allows the transmission of data through long distances through a massive collection of networks connected all over the world. The Internet has grown since its first real conception in the 1980s as a means for universities to communicate with each other. It is said that nearly 2 billion people are connected to the Internet.


One of those is [[Christian Weston Chandler|a fat, homophobic, whiny manchild.]]
One of those is [[Christian Weston Chandler|a fat, homophobic, whiny manchild.]] He is the internet's battered girlfriend who always comes back for more.


==Understanding==
==Understanding==


Chris seems to be aware that the internet is a place where, once you put something up, anyone with access to a computer could see it. However, due to a combination of his ego and his general inability to understand others, Chris has come to the conclusion that if he puts anything on the Internet, everyone ''will'' see it. Chris has in the past attempted to address videos to specific people--most telling is [[100 2178|his 8 May 2010 rant]], which was addressed to anyone who served on the Green County School Board in the early 1990's.
Chris seems to be aware that the internet is a place where, once you put something up, anyone with access to a computer could see it. However, due to a combination of his ego and his general inability to understand others, Chris has come to the conclusion that if he puts anything on the Internet, everyone ''will'' see it, and if you direct a message to someone, ''only'' they will see it. Chris has in the past attempted to address videos to specific people, from celebrities to [[Shigeru Miyamoto|potential employers]] to [[Ivy|internet girlfriends]]. Most telling is [[100 2178|his 8 May 2010 rant]], which was addressed to anyone who served on the Green County School Board in the early 1990's.


Despite this, Chris doesn't seem to realise that giving one's real address and telephone number out on the Internet is generally a bad idea, especially when one is being trolled relentlessly by [[CWCki|people obsessed with one's every move]]. He also doesn't seem to realise that dropping [[The Wallflower|other people's dox]] is also a bad idea.
Chris sees no problem in dropping highly sensitive information over his videos, including his phone number and street address and the secret name of the girl he desperately wants to be his girlfriend. He doesn't understand that YouTube is a public website, not an instant messaging service, and never seems to pay attention to the deluge of comments he gets from horrified onlookers that definitively prove his "private" messages are anything but.


==Forums and Bans==
==Forums and Bans==
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As with many places in real life, Chris has found himself banned from the few places he frequents online.
As with many places in real life, Chris has found himself banned from the few places he frequents online.


Chris does not normally participate in forum discussions, either due to a dislike of reading or simple egotism. When he does, he always signs his message — be it a comment on Youtube, a rant on the [[Adult Swim]] boards, or a complaint about something in LBP. He never follows up on these posts either, nor does he read the comments left by other users.
Chris does not normally participate in forum discussions, either due to a dislike of reading or simple egotism. When he does, he always signs his message — be it a comment on Youtube, a rant on the [[Adult Swim]] boards, or a complaint about something in LBP. He never follows up on these posts either, nor does he read the comments left by other users, just like on YouTube. Any retractions or responses are saved for completely unrelated posts elsewhere on the internet.


The irony is that Internet forums are havens for socially retarded, thirtysomething manchildren who still live with Mommy and Daddy. By simply choosing a handle that has nothing to do with Sonichu, and participating even a little in forum discussions, Chris could shed (for a while) his lolcow status and form online friendships with other sad bastards like himself.
The irony is that Internet forums are havens for socially retarded, thirtysomething manchildren who still live with Mommy and Daddy. By simply choosing a handle that has nothing to do with Sonichu, and participating even a little in forum discussions, Chris could shed (for a while) his lolcow status and form online friendships with other sad bastards like himself.


Due to his relative inactivity concerning internet forums, he's banned from fewer places online than expected. He was banned from [[DeviantArt]] in the summer of 2009 for posting the uncensored version of Sonichu 9 without an [[Honest_content|NSFW]] tag, though he doesn't understand why--comments left on his talk page suggest that he is under the impression that his DA account simply vanished into cyberspace for no reason. As well, despite bouncing from one account to the next, Chris has only been [[The July 10th Messages|banned once]] from [[YouTube]]. However, unlike DA, Chris has constantly made new accounts after one was taken down.
Due to his relative inactivity concerning internet forums, he's banned from fewer places online than expected. He was banned from [[DeviantArt]] in the summer of 2009 for posting the uncensored version of Sonichu 9 without an [[Honest_content|NSFW]] tag, though he doesn't understand why--comments left on his talk page suggest that he is under the impression that his DA account simply vanished into cyberspace for no reason. As well, despite bouncing from one account to the next, Chris has only been [[The July 10th Messages|banned once]] from [[YouTube]]. However, unlike DA, Chris has constantly made new accounts after one was taken down or abandoned.


== Attempts to leave the Internet ==
== Attempts to leave the Internet ==
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As the saying goes, <i>when the going gets tough, the tough get going</i>. However, in Chris's case, he takes this and butchers it - when [[trolls]] descend on him and [[Stress|torture]] him, he ups and leaves. For many trolls, this would be a great victory--threatening to quit the internet forever is such a common reaction to trolling it has it's own ED article. However, Chris just can't stand to get away from the Internet.
As the saying goes, <i>when the going gets tough, the tough get going</i>. However, in Chris's case, he takes this and butchers it - when [[trolls]] descend on him and [[Stress|torture]] him, he ups and leaves. For many trolls, this would be a great victory--threatening to quit the internet forever is such a common reaction to trolling it has it's own ED article. However, Chris just can't stand to get away from the Internet.


His [[Youtube Finale|first attempt]] to abandon the Internet was in the aftermath of the [[Julie]] incident; tired of [[Clyde Cash]]'s trolling, Chris proclaimed that he was leaving the Internet. Instead of doing that, he disappeared for all of two weeks, before creating a new account on YouTube. His [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|second]], [[100 2188|third]], and [[100 2189|fourth attempts]] all seemed to have been directed by an [[Rocky Shoemaker|outside force]]. Of course, Chris being Chris, he never made good on his word to stay off the internet.
His [[Youtube Finale|first attempt]] to abandon the Internet was in the aftermath of the [[Julie]] incident; tired of [[Clyde Cash]]'s trolling, Chris proclaimed that he was leaving the Internet. Instead of doing that, he disappeared for all of two weeks, before creating a new account on YouTube. His [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|second]], [[100 2188|third]], and [[100 2189|fourth attempts]] all seemed to have been directed by an [[Rocky Shoemaker|outside force]]. Of course, Chris being Chris, he never made good on his word to stay off.  
After he made his second announcement of leaving the internet, he made a rant about the Cleveland Show a mere ''36 hours later''. He also made his fourth announcement of leaving the internet just four days after making his third announcement, saying that the [[Kick the Autistic|trolls have scared him from the internet, that he is literally afraid of the internet]]. Needless to say, he will probably be back in a few days. The strange thing about these attempts is that there was no major [[troll]] or [[Saga]] going on at the time. This also once again shows that Chris is a pathetic [[Lies|liar]], as he normally brags about being [[Chris and his Ego|brave and unstoppable]].


What Chris doesn't seem to realize is that the [[PS3#Playstation_Network|PSN]] he [[Chris_humps_his_PS3|loves]] [[List_of_Chris%27s_PSN_video_downloads|so]] [[List_of_Chris%27s_PSN_game_downloads|dearly]] is technically a part of the internet, as it consists of a network of computers all interconnected with each other. So when he says that he will be leaving the internet, he is clearly [[Chris and hypocrisy|full of shit]], as he just hops right onto his PSN.
After he made his second announcement of leaving the internet, he made a rant about the Cleveland Show a mere ''36 hours later''. He also made his fourth announcement of leaving the internet just four days after making his third announcement, saying that the [[Kick the Autistic|trolls have scared him from the internet, that he is literally afraid of the internet]]. Needless to say, he will probably be back in a few days.
 
What Chris doesn't seem to realize is that the [[PS3#Playstation_Network|PSN]] he [[Chris_humps_his_PS3|loves]] [[List_of_Chris%27s_PSN_video_downloads|so]] [[List_of_Chris%27s_PSN_game_downloads|dearly]] is technically a part of the internet, as it consists of a network of computers all interconnected with each other. So when he says that he will be leaving the internet, he is clearly [[Chris and hypocrisy|full of shit]], as he has only sworn off the parts of the internet that bother him.
 
== Will Chris ever really leave? ==
 
It's possible, perhaps even inevitable, that circumstances will enable Chris to really leave the internet. The most likely reason would be the death or intervention of [[Robert Chandler|certain benefactors]] that keep the internet train a-rolling. Another, only marginally less likely, would be the end-result of Chris's terminal slothfulness: just ceasing to give a shit about anything except video games, toys, and his [[CWCville|Happy Place]]. Currently, if pressed Chris always claims to be working on Sonichu/employment/the Love Quest/it, but effort is anathema to Chris.
 
It is highly unlikely that he'll ever leave the internet of his own volition. Chris thrives on attention just as he is burned by the terrible strain of effort. Like an abused spouse he may never leave unless someone else steps in. [[Trolls|Being the horrible people we are]] we'd rather he stay.





Revision as of 19:22, 3 June 2010

The Internet is a specialized computer programming that allows the transmission of data through long distances through a massive collection of networks connected all over the world. The Internet has grown since its first real conception in the 1980s as a means for universities to communicate with each other. It is said that nearly 2 billion people are connected to the Internet.

One of those is a fat, homophobic, whiny manchild. He is the internet's battered girlfriend who always comes back for more.

Understanding

Chris seems to be aware that the internet is a place where, once you put something up, anyone with access to a computer could see it. However, due to a combination of his ego and his general inability to understand others, Chris has come to the conclusion that if he puts anything on the Internet, everyone will see it, and if you direct a message to someone, only they will see it. Chris has in the past attempted to address videos to specific people, from celebrities to potential employers to internet girlfriends. Most telling is his 8 May 2010 rant, which was addressed to anyone who served on the Green County School Board in the early 1990's.

Chris sees no problem in dropping highly sensitive information over his videos, including his phone number and street address and the secret name of the girl he desperately wants to be his girlfriend. He doesn't understand that YouTube is a public website, not an instant messaging service, and never seems to pay attention to the deluge of comments he gets from horrified onlookers that definitively prove his "private" messages are anything but.

Forums and Bans

As with many places in real life, Chris has found himself banned from the few places he frequents online.

Chris does not normally participate in forum discussions, either due to a dislike of reading or simple egotism. When he does, he always signs his message — be it a comment on Youtube, a rant on the Adult Swim boards, or a complaint about something in LBP. He never follows up on these posts either, nor does he read the comments left by other users, just like on YouTube. Any retractions or responses are saved for completely unrelated posts elsewhere on the internet.

The irony is that Internet forums are havens for socially retarded, thirtysomething manchildren who still live with Mommy and Daddy. By simply choosing a handle that has nothing to do with Sonichu, and participating even a little in forum discussions, Chris could shed (for a while) his lolcow status and form online friendships with other sad bastards like himself.

Due to his relative inactivity concerning internet forums, he's banned from fewer places online than expected. He was banned from DeviantArt in the summer of 2009 for posting the uncensored version of Sonichu 9 without an NSFW tag, though he doesn't understand why--comments left on his talk page suggest that he is under the impression that his DA account simply vanished into cyberspace for no reason. As well, despite bouncing from one account to the next, Chris has only been banned once from YouTube. However, unlike DA, Chris has constantly made new accounts after one was taken down or abandoned.

Attempts to leave the Internet

As the saying goes, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. However, in Chris's case, he takes this and butchers it - when trolls descend on him and torture him, he ups and leaves. For many trolls, this would be a great victory--threatening to quit the internet forever is such a common reaction to trolling it has it's own ED article. However, Chris just can't stand to get away from the Internet.

His first attempt to abandon the Internet was in the aftermath of the Julie incident; tired of Clyde Cash's trolling, Chris proclaimed that he was leaving the Internet. Instead of doing that, he disappeared for all of two weeks, before creating a new account on YouTube. His second, third, and fourth attempts all seemed to have been directed by an outside force. Of course, Chris being Chris, he never made good on his word to stay off.

After he made his second announcement of leaving the internet, he made a rant about the Cleveland Show a mere 36 hours later. He also made his fourth announcement of leaving the internet just four days after making his third announcement, saying that the trolls have scared him from the internet, that he is literally afraid of the internet. Needless to say, he will probably be back in a few days.

What Chris doesn't seem to realize is that the PSN he loves so dearly is technically a part of the internet, as it consists of a network of computers all interconnected with each other. So when he says that he will be leaving the internet, he is clearly full of shit, as he has only sworn off the parts of the internet that bother him.

Will Chris ever really leave?

It's possible, perhaps even inevitable, that circumstances will enable Chris to really leave the internet. The most likely reason would be the death or intervention of certain benefactors that keep the internet train a-rolling. Another, only marginally less likely, would be the end-result of Chris's terminal slothfulness: just ceasing to give a shit about anything except video games, toys, and his Happy Place. Currently, if pressed Chris always claims to be working on Sonichu/employment/the Love Quest/it, but effort is anathema to Chris.

It is highly unlikely that he'll ever leave the internet of his own volition. Chris thrives on attention just as he is burned by the terrible strain of effort. Like an abused spouse he may never leave unless someone else steps in. Being the horrible people we are we'd rather he stay.


Chris and...

Body: DrugsFashionGenderHealthNutritionSex

Psyche: CopingManipulationMental healthcareNostalgiaReality

Personality: AngerEgoHypocrisyKindnessNegligencePersonalityRemorseStress

Expression: ArtCensorshipEnglishLanguageMusicOratorySpanishWriting

Society: ContestsDeathThe LawPoliticsPornographyRaceReadingReligionSexualitySocializationSports

Business: Brand loyaltyBusinessCopyrightMoneyNegotiationWork

Technology: CamerasElectronicsThe InternetScienceTelevisionVideo Games