Un-clit

This article is rated M for Honest Content It may contain content deemed not safe for work. Reader discretion is advised.

YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK! The contents of this page have been bought with taxpayer money!

LOOK AT THAT LINK GODDAMN.

Chris somehow got away with posting a link to a pornographic image.

The Un-clit was what Chris called a small piercing on his "taint" (or perineum, in clinical terminology), what's known as a guiche piercing among body modification enthusiasts. He had apparently gotten it as "a fair substitute" for a clitoris, indicating that Chris believes the clitoris is located on a woman's perineum. It seems that Chris's knowledge of female anatomy wasn't noticeably improved by his encounters with Mia Hamm. Chris's rationale for getting the un-clit also included an introduction to the sex lives of female bonobos. The taint is actually one of the most neglected parts of the body, and the most dirty, since it neighbors the anus. Since Chris rarely bathes himself, getting a taint piercing was a disaster waiting to happen.

After a couple of weeks, the piercing began to migrate out of Chris's body in a process referred to as "rejection." Instead of letting the area heal before a second attempt, Chris immediately tried to re-pierce it, with a safety pin. This rather predictably resulted in the migration worsening, and even after going to a professional and having it re-done again, his body still rejected it and Catie eventually convinced Chris to give up on the piercing altogether. Factoring 2 professional piercings and 2 items of jewelry, Chris wasted a grand total of about $200 of his monthly tugboat on this.

September 18th Facebook Status

Well. A whole Half a month without a new update on the trolls' website; I was hoping for longer than that. And I WAS going to make a public announcement about it anyway. But the cat is out of the bag now. Anyway, I had something done to me that is Radical, that I did for my Lesbian Soul! I got a new piercing on my taint on Monday the 15th. About where my clitoris would be if I was a woman! It is a short, steel straight piece with steel spheres, of which I refer to them as my un-clit. I am tending to its cleaning personally in Daily Baths or Showers, as well as cleaning the area with rubbing alcohol twice daily. I, Christian Weston Chandler, with no other outside opinions from anyone, have long been thinking about getting a piercing on my taint, with a steel sphere where my clitoris would be if I was born female, in my Soul identity as a Female and a Leabian, as a fair substitute for that, and to stimulate the woman's clitoris via scissoring, YEARS ago after watching the Lesbian couple Tribbing each other in the soft core porn movie, "The Key to Sex". And for those who don't know about Tribbing, it is more commonly known as Scissoring, Tribadism is when one woman rubs her vulva against the other woman's vulva, to stimulate each other's clitoris. In fact, there are clits that actually stick out, penetrating the labia and better stimulating the other clitoris. The female bonobo monkeys have long clits, and they trib other female bonobos a LOT of the time. And to make sure EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS ONCE AND FOR ALL: I am a FEMALE, LESBIAN SOUL TRAPPED IN A MALE BODY. Or to put it another way, I am a LESBIAN TRANSGENDER! I am Seriously Into Women! Males Offend Me, even my own Penis Totally Grosses Me Out! I am glad that I tuck it underneath my taint, so I do not have to look down at the Ugly Bulge! I HAVE Come Out as the Lesbian Transgender that I Always Have Been and Ever Will! And for everyone of you Sods who continue to mislabel me as a Homosexual Male, or hint towards anything of that even in distasteful jest, you all can kiss My Vagina Of My Soul!!! Have a good day. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tribadism

Despite obviously violating the Community Guidelines, as well as being reported by concerned Facebook users, Facebook decided that no part of this status was considered pornographic enough to warrant being removed.

Chris appeared to have either gotten very bad advice about caring for his new piercing, or gotten good advice and ignored it. No knowledgeable body piercing provider would suggest cleaning a fresh piercing with rubbing alcohol, which is far too harsh a solvent. Chris's misguided aftercare regimen likely contributed to the piercing's rejection.

Repiercing the Un-clit

On 4 December 2014, an update was released on the CWCki Forums (now Kiwi Farms) that Chris had re-pierced his taint. The new piercing jewelry was apparently made of gold.

I got the new gold barbell jewelry piece, and I will be getting repierced later today.

Let's pray that in a month, this one does not go migrating either.

I'm sending caring vibes and love your way! Have a lovely and safe day.

Re-piercing so soon after the first attempt was considered most unwise, as the first migration had had almost no time to heal, and many trolls were concerned that Chris's lack of general hygiene would lead to him risking septicemia.

Five days later, it was revealed that in addition to the new piercing, Chris was wearing a strap-on harness with the dildo removed to conceal his duck while he wore women's clothing. This raised additional concerns about the cleanliness of the pierced region.

The End of the Un-clit

“	I have an update to just let you know: the patch of skin the jewelry was in was shrinking again. I have just removed the barbell and spheres; I am giving up on that piercing now.	”
Chris has finally given up on the piercing.

A message from Chris leaked on the CWCki Forums on 12 December showed that he had removed the piercing due to the "patch of skin the jewelry was in ... shrinking again" (presumably referring to another migration). He stated he would "giv[e] up" on the Un-Clit. He was deeply disappointed with this outcome, however, and on C-Mas 2014 still hoped that he could receive the gift of a "magical Transformation of my body from Male to completely Female." Santa seemingly did not oblige him, perhaps prompting Chris's malicious assault of a store employee on Boxing Day.

...or Is It?

Main article: Self-inflicted taint wound

On 24 July 2016, Chris announced on Facebook that he had "grown labia". At first, people thought, from the pictures Chris helpfully shared, that the migrated skin from his piercing was turning into a wound and/or an abscess. In reality, while attempting D.I.Y. gender transition surgery, he had cut his taint open with a knife.

Photos

Not safe for work, life, the faint of heart, or anyone who values their sanity.
The piercing as it originally appeared. The piercing after Chris' body began to reject it. The duck strap. The duck strap and un-clit, from under Chris. The duck strap, from the left.

See also

• Self-inflicted taint wound

Catherine Saga
The Players:	The Games:	The Prizes:
Chris Catherine Sorrentino Thetan Cousin Al Colin Marvin Shaina Anna McLerran	Catherine E-mails Colin Chats (1 • 2) Open Relationship E-mails Rebeckah Bentley E-mails	Applebee's Date IRL Tour of 14 Branchland Court Rental House Tour I Love You, Catherine Apology Letters Three-Quarter Woman Taint Piercing
Coinciding Sagas: Sonic Boom