Difference between revisions of "Sonee & Rosey"

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[[Image:SchuSoneeRosey.jpg|thumb|A '''Sonee''' and a '''Rosey'''. Note that Rosey's looking lustfully at Sonee. [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Seriously]].]]
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'''Sonees''' and '''Roseys''' (sometimes '''Rosees'''<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref><ref>[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]</ref>) are the pre-evolutionary forms of [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]] and [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]]. Their colors usually correspond to their type. Most [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] in the comic started out as eggs that fell out of a [[rainbow]] and hatched as Sonees and Roseys.
 
==Appearance==
 
Technically, baby versions of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] never could have existed because they were transformed directly from a [[Pikachu]] and [[Raichu]], not Pichu, their pre-evolved form. It's generally understood that the "[[Hanky-panky|miracle of birth]]" does not provide Sonichu offspring with their shoes, bows, and skirts shown,<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_84 Issue 10 Page 84] Sandy is born nude.</ref> but there are contradictions.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_3/Page_9 Issue 3 Page 9] Magi-chan is born with a vest.</ref> (Whatever the case, they automatically gain clothing upon evolution... but ''again'' there are more contradictions<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_3/Page_7 Issue 3 Page 7] Angelica is born (and [[pedofork|raised]]) nude, but [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris]] has to give her shoes and a scrunchie at evolution.</ref>.) None of the [[Chaotic Combo]], or [[Silvana]], corresponds to the "Original Sonee and Rosey," but rather to the prismatic range of the [[rainbow]]. There's also a continuity in the attire with the "Sonichu/Rosechu" species; "Sonees" are stark-naked with shoes while "Roseys" wear dresses.
 
Although Chris has stated that he finds them cute, most ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' [[Trolls|readers]] reacted in disgust when first confronted with these hideously repulsive creatures, and a large consensus has agreed that they are some of the most aggravating characters, their lack of comprehensible (relatively speaking; most ''Sonichu'' dialogue is at least in something that resembles [[English]]) speech being a major cause of anger. Their physical appearance is also a source of much disgust, as it is an overload of conventionally "cute" characteristics, done horribly wrong. They look like they're trying too hard to be cute, and it is sickening.
 
The appearance of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]] in "[[A Sonichu Day]]" is a particularly grating one, as Chris gives them some of the most retarded dialogue he has ever given, in a despicably twee voice. Their appearance in "[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]", where he uses them to represent younger versions of himself and [[Sarah Hammer]], is also horrific when you realize just how contrived and passive-aggressive it all is.
 
__NOTOC__
{{clear}}
 
==Sonee==
{{quote|Sonee is the pre-evolved form of [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]]. He is known to have a lot of [[spunk]] and speed. This cute [[Pokemon]] packs a lot of [[sex|action]].|Sonee ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' card[http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:165-ACSoneeBck.jpg]}}
 
The pre-evolved form of [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]]. He has a lot of spunk and speed, and is quite "cute". He is apparently born with shoes on. Like most other [[Pokémon]], they can only speak gibberish.
 
==Rosey==
[[Image:SchuComic4Page4.jpg|thumb|The birth of a '''Rosey''' [[Bubbles]], sans skirt.]]
 
{{quote|Rosey is the pre-evolved form of [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]]. Her [[Pickle|cuteness]] always gets the [[Pedofork|awe of her enemies]]. When she falls, her skirt acts as a parachute.|[[:Image:232-ACRoseyBck.jpg|Rosey Animal Crossing card]]}}
 
The pre-evolved form of [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]]. According to Chris her so called "cuteness" always gets the awe of her enemies, and when she falls, her skirt acts as a parachute. This last feat is physically impossible, but never mind ''that'', because it offers an [[Pedofork|opportunity]] for panty-shots, that is if they had any, which in fact makes it even worse. It is implied that Roseys are born without any clothing, and shoes and skirts are purchased separately. The Rosey form of [[Bubbles]], for instance (see right), was never born with a skirt. The birth of [[Sandy]] appears to confirm this. <ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_84 Issue 10 Page 84]</ref>
 
==Biologee==
 
An cursory examination of the birthdates of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]] implies that Rosechus have a gestation period of around three months. This amount of time would for a normal mammal be insufficient for healthy development, even for monotremes, which possibly explains why Sonees and Roseys always appear [[retarded]] and half-[[Yawning Squirtle|baked]]. However, [[Pokémon]] eggs hatch quite quickly.
 
Sonees and Roseys seem to vary a lot in intelligence. As infants, the [[Chaotic Combo]] could only say their own names (which is supposed to be [[Things Chris has ripped off|how Pokémon communicate]]). And the "Original" Sonee and Rosey can only say "Goo-Goo," suggesting they start with even less intelligence. However, the Sonichu Children are capable of speaking in complete (albeit mangled) sentences: Sandy was able to talk right after she was born! This discrepancy in intelligence has been addressed in [[Mailbag 23]] in which Chris states that [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Cerah, Christine and Robbie]] learned English from their parents and that the Chaotic Combo didn't have English-speaking guardians, which is a [[lie]] as [[Bubbles]] started speaking English while trying to rescue her mother and [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] knew English as a Sonichu. This still doesn't address why Sandy could speak right after being born. To further confound the situation, [[Magi-Chan]] informs the readers via textwall that Wild had to teach Sandy English ''after'' she demonstrated fluency with the language, implying that she didn't know it beforehand.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_86 Issue 10 Page 86]</ref> Regardless of this, they are all still of inferior intelligence.
 
It is also worth noting that Sonees and Roseys do not wear the white gloves that Sonichu and Rosechu wear at all times; acquiring the gloves is likely a rite-of-passage. Disturbingly, Sonees and Roseys have rounded stumps rather than hands which gives them the appearance of [[Thalidomide#Birth_defects|thalidomide babies]], but knowing Chris, he probably ripped them off from the creatures from the ''Sonic'' games known as Chao. The ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' designs and a teddy-bear creature from ''[[Excel Saga]]'' called "Puchuu" may also have substantial influence on the design of Sonees and Roseys. Despite having no opposable thumbs, the mutant baby Pokémon are somehow able to accomplish rudimentary tasks with their stubby arms, such as baking cookies and playing [[PSP]]s.
 
There's also the strong possibility that Sonichu and Rosechu's children are not representative of the typical Sonee & Rosey Poke-type. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], [[Sandy Rosechu]] went from hatching from an egg to her mature form and the intellectual skills of a fourth grader inside of a  single week<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_86]</ref> while [[Punchy]] evolved to his full form in a single day, even though he had his tail ripped off.  This leaves us to formulate the hypothesis that Sonichu's children are kinda [[retarded|slower than the average]] to evolve in their adult form. Another possibility is that Sandy evolved rapidly because [[Wild Sonichu|her father]] [[Sonichu_10#The_Final_Countdown|lavished attention on her]], while Cerah, Christine and Robbie are left with [[Heather Iglesias|the nanny]] while their parents are forced to fulfill the wishes of [[Christian Weston Chandler|a deranged tyrant]]. Alternatively, Sonees and Roseys evolve more rapidly under stressful situations (see [[Bubbles]] and [[Punchy]]), thereby suggesting [[Wild]]'s attention is a [[Pedofork|lot less wholesome than the comic would lead you to believe]].
 
==Galleree==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:164-ACSonee.jpg|JESUS CHIRST IT'S A LION, GET IN THE CAR!
Image:165-ACSoneeBck.jpg
Image:166-SoneeCard.jpg
Image:231-ACRosey.jpg|[[Pedofork|Notice how Chris draws Rosey with a skirt, but no top...]]
Image:232-ACRoseyBck.jpg|[[Pedofork|The card pretty much speaks for itself.]]
Image:233-RoseyCard.jpg
Image:425-CWCSNHP1.jpg
Image:Demonicrobbie.jpg|[[Audiobooks|GOD DAMN LOOK AT THAT FACE]]
Image:Morechristmasshit.jpg|[[The Creepy Stare|This image will haunt your soul]].
Image:Gwandpawuvshisgwandchildren.jpg|Gwandpa Chwis wuvs his gwandchildren.
Image:LOLRape.jpg|Chris spends some quality time with his grandkids.
Image:FeedingTime.jpg|A baby Sonee & a baby Rosey feeding off Chris's [[duck]] milk.
Image:Bizarro Chris Sonichu's Offspring.jpg|Bizarro Chris
</gallery>
</center>
 
==See also==
{{Fan art}}
*[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]]
*[[Sonichu (species)]]
*[[Rosechu (species)]]
*[[Metonic]]
*[[Vamprosa]]
*[[Guro]]
*[[CWC Update 12 August 2009]], in which Chris addresses the former.
*[[Sonichu 3#Episode 10: "Sonichu Babies"|''Sonichu'' #3 Episode 10]], the first episode to feature Sonees and Roseys, to the chagrin of Sonichu [[Trolls|fans]].
*[[SonichuBabies]], a [[parody|riff]] on the Muppet Babies featuring, in lieu of diminutive Jim Henson characters, these little imps.
*"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]"
 
== References ==
<references />
 
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]

Revision as of 10:47, 25 May 2011

Long live ThePCAssassins!

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