User:Ganondorfdude11
I first found out about CWC through the TV Tropes page. It was like a car wreck, I couldn't watch, but I couldn't look away, either. Chris's antics are doubly embarrassing to me because my name is Chris as well. Well, it's Christopher. So I'm glad he at least changed his name, so I don't have to share it with him anymore.
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Troper This user would edit the CWCki, but is too busy browsing TV Tropes. |
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Christian This user is a Christian and has accepted GodJesus as his/her savior. |
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White This user is white and finds Chris's race relations embarrassing. |
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JERK This user is a JERK and takes away all the girls. |
Kaiser Sonichu
Okay, when everybody started vandalizing the CWCipedia in May 2010, I drew up a little article about Kaiser Sonichu. I felt like it was something ridiculous enough, but most of the jokes would go right over Chris's head. The character is a dual parody of both Chris and Kaiser Wilhelm II. Moreso of Chris. I just thought the idea of Sonichu with a moustache and Pickelhaube was hilarious.
Kaiser Sonichu was a prominent ancestor of Sonichu, being the Emperor of the CWCville Empire and leader of that nation's armies during World War Zero.
Early Life
Kaiser Sonichu was born in 1859, shortly before Daniel Weston discovered CWCville when he commanded the Mayflower voyage. Kaiser Sonichu's father, Kaiser Cherokian, assumed the throne that year and allied with his longtime foes the Wasabi in order to combat the threat posed by Daniel Weston and his English invaders. This war lasted until 1870, and resulted in the unification of the Cherokian and Wasabi clans into the vast and powerful CWCville Empire.
During his childhood, Kaiser Sonichu was often known to loiter around local vendor's shops hoping to find a true and honest sweetheart. His father strongly opposed such behavior, threatening to remove Kaiser Sonichu from the line of succession if his Love Quest continued. During this period, Kaiser Sonichu suffered from numerous Heartaches and Sleepless Nights because of his Shattered Heart.He suffered from Asperger's Syndrome (a form of High-Functioning Autism) and Erb's Palsy in his left hand.
Ascension to the Throne
In 1871, as the Cherokian and English delegations were preparing to sign the Treaty of CWCville, Kaiser Cherokian declared himself Emperor of the CWCville Empire and united the Cherokian and Wasabi Clans into one empire. His reign as Emperor was short-lived, however, as he succumbed to heart failure later that year. Historians and dieticians agree that the most likely cause of his death was the large quantities of McDonald's hamburgers that the Emperor consumed daily.
Kaiser Sonichu now found himself as leader of one of the most powerful nations in the world. His first order of business, however, was still his quest for a Boyfriend-Free Girl to be his One True Sweetheart From The Ground Up. However, since his father was no longer around to shatter his Heart Level down to 15% day after stressful day and he was Emperor and could rule with absolute fiat, he simply used his political authority to compel Miss Augusta Viktoria Rosechu to marry him. The fact that Kaiser Sonichu was only twelve does not matter because those dumb laws did not exist back then.
Now no longer a virgin with rage, Kaiser Sonichu's coronation occurred on March 17, 1872.
Reign
Under Kaiser Sonichu, all forms of alcohol and tobacky were outlawed, although the ban on reeb was lifted in 1885 when Kaiser Sonichu discovered that he quite liked it. Under these laws, offenders could expect a 10-year prison sentence or a $1500 fine.
In terms of domestic policy, Kaiser Sonichu alienated his father's Wasabi allies by pursuing a policy he referred to as the Anchuent Way, putting Cherokian interests ahead of Wasabi interests. This resulted in Wasabi dissidents creating a strong voting bloc in the CWCville Reichstag in order to oppose the Emperor's policies. The dismissal of Chancellor Mary Lee Walsh, a major part of his father's administration, was seen by contemporaries as an attempt to assert his own control over his reign and step out of his father's shadow.
To this end, Kaiser Sonichu pursued overseas colonies in Africa and the South Pacific. The Free State of Brunchville was founded after the brief conflict with Ruckersville in 1890. Eastern Piedmont was conquered in 1893 and became the site of the Emperor's private villa. Construction of this palace, which doubled as a shopping center, was completed in 1900.
However, CWCville's expansionist tendencies drew the ire of the other Great Powers. The English, still smarting over their defeat in 1870, sought to contain CWCville's aggression by allying themselves with the Free Republic of Wasabi, the state formed by independent Wasabi nationalists in 1879. With this alliance, the longtime ally of the English, the Get-Tar Kingdom, allied itself with the FRW as well. Now CWCville was encircled by hostile nations, and frequent regional conflicts in its colonies precipitated a greater war.
World War
In 1914, Wasabi nationalists assassinated Kaiser Sonichu's heir apparent, Crown Prince Robbie, during a state visit to the Wasabi provinces. This caused the CWCville government to declare war on the FRW, whom it suspected to have something to do with the assassination. Both the Get-Tar Kingdom and the English responded in turn by declaring war on CWCville. Kaiser Sonichu was wary. He knew that it was impossible to fight a two-front war against both Get-Tar and the FRW, so he commissioned general Schlieffen to orchestrate a plan to counteract this. The plan involved a quick thrust into the FRW to neutralize any resistance, so that the remainder of the war effort could focus on the Get-Tar Kingdom and the inevitable naval war with England.
The resistance by the Wasabi was great, however, and by 1916 the war had dragged to a stalemate. The intervention of the United States on the side of the Allies proved to be a turning point, as the reinforcements they provided eventually broke the siege of CWCville.
Abdication
On November 9, 1918, Kaiser Sonichu abdicated in the face of foreign invasion and domestic unrest. The CWCville Republic was proclaimed that same day by Bob Chandler. The eventual Treaty of Versailles broke the union forged between the Cherokians and Wasabi in 1871, doubling the size of the FRW and crippling CWCville as a military power.
Kaiser Sonichu lived the rest of his life in obscurity, dying in 1940. His descendant, Sonichu, barely acknowledges his ancestor's existence, mostly because he is completely devoted to the current dictator mayor of CWCville, Christian Weston Chandler, a descendant of the revolutionary leader Bob Chandler.