Simonla Rosechu
| “ | About on or before August 26, 2008, I had received an e-mail from Evan George, who went by evang7@gmail.com as well as themaskedavenger@gmail.com, submitting his Sonichu Fan Art to me. The then later submitted his idea for "Simonchu"; it did not strike me as good at first. But for a few months, I had wanted to create a Ground-Type Sonichu or Rosechu Character; I felt that I had ENOUGH Sonichu Characters, so from "Simonchu", I created Simonla Rosechu (playing off of the name of Simone). | ” |
| Chris, 9 September 2009[1] | ||
| “ | I had previously stated inspiration from Evan George's Simonchu Character; that was a fabrication, and I apologize for leaving the lie up for this whole time. Simonchu was Never an Inspiration, or had Anything to do with Simonla Rosechu's creation whatsoever. Thank you for being patient while I had thought further on Simonla's Background Story. | ” |
| Chris, 2 February 2010[2] | ||
Once upon a time, Simonla Rosechu (pronounced [sɪˈmoːnlə]) was an orange rosechu with the intelligence of a "cinder-block"[3] who could turn her arms into drills and dig underground. She also had a drill at the end of her tail. Then her guts were shredded by a tragic toilet explosion. Simonla was then dead. Or so they thought...
She was originally a fan character submitted by Evan named Simonchu, until Chris added breasts and a china and turned him into Simonla so he'd have something to masturbate to. Her bizarre name is probably meant to suggest "Simon the Rosechu", la being the Spanish word for "the"; cf. Megagi La Skunk.
Background
Her actual character biography is basically non-existent. While the members of the Chaotic Combo all have their own retarded little backstories to explain where they came from and what they're doing together, Simonla just shows up one day, ready to strip naked and present backdrops. She only mentions being raised by Sandshrews in response to Evan's explanation of her origin.
Evan eventually presents his own version of events in it up in his Simonchu comic: Simonla is a female clone of Simonchu, sent back in time to befriend the other Electric Hedgehogs so that Chris can prove Wild is STRAIGHT to the trolls in order to cover up Alec's SLANDEROUS portrayals. This explains, somewhat, Chris's constant references to Simonla and Simonchu being siblings, though it may be more accurate to consider Simonla a daughter to Simonchu. Chris is sure to integrate this creative and interesting plot twist into his own comic immediately, just as he expects other people to change their comics to match his ideas. One should disregard Chris's claim that she was raised by a pair of Sandslash, as this violates the same "brother/sister agreement" Chris desired so much due to Simonchu's Beedrill parentage.
Simonla the pedofork
In the Dating Education episode, we see Simonla outside CWCville U talking to Zapina, the 14-year-old girl who wants to strip despite those "dumb child protection Laws" Chris and the Sonichu gang hate so much. Zapina refers to Simonla as "her best friend," which is creepy enough, before Simonla instructs her to get a "16-year-old boy".
One can only wonder why she would do such a thing, when any woman in her right mind would tell her to focus on her studies and hang out with friends her own age before worrying about boys, especially one two years older.
Development
On 26 August 2008, Evan posted on his DeviantArt account:[4]
My Sonichu fancharacter.
Simonchu Age: 14 Ground/Electric
Simonchu was originally a Pikachu, raised by a swarm of Beedrill. However, when Perfect Chaos attacked Station Square, the Pikachu and Beedrills watched from a nearby forest. In the middle of the battle a flash of pure Chaos energy was released, killing all the Beedrills. The Pikachu, however, was able to absorb the Chaos energy and use it to evolve. Depressed due to his parents' demise, Simonchu took his parents' drills and dug deep underground, leaving no one in CWCville to know of this unique Sonichu and his awesome powers.
until today... ...
Now I really must send it to him and hope he includes Simonchu in another issue. He is JUST bad enough to fit into Sonichu.Three months later, Chris did use the character, claiming that he had wanted to create a ground-type Sonichu or Rosechu character. He could have used Simonchu, as he had Evan's permission to, but, feeling that he had enough Sonichu characters (or, more likely, needing material to mass debate to), he decided to turn Simonchu into Simonla (playing off Simone, the feminine form of Simon), because to Chris, tits = better. Chris-chan also misinterpreted the cloak Simonchu wore as some sort of shell, judging by Simonla's line, "My shell is removable!" He also added red "secondary infrared eyelids" (commonly mistaken for eye infection) due to a similar mix-up with Simonchu's goggles.
Evan told Chris he got his drills from being raised by Beedrill, though any bona fide weeaboo knows the drills and the name come from Simon from Gurren Lagann. Interestingly, in his Apologies to Alec and Evan video, Chris pronounces Simonchu as Sie-Mon-Chu and not See-moan-chu, meaning that:
- Chris has never seen Gurren Lagann before, much to the relief of many fans and
- Simonla's pronunciation would be Sie-mon-la.
This is reinforced by other inconsistencies with the character, including mistaking Simonchu's cape for a shell on Simonla and that the Core Drill was a shark's tooth necklace.
Chris claimed on Simonla's CWCipedia page that in Episode 20 he will introduce Simonchu as a Ground- (and only Ground-) type. This never happened. Only in the next episode was Simonchu given a minor cameo (and then never fully identified) as Simonla's assassin.
Forced romance
| “ | plus pairing Simonla with Wild as a couple; that GIVES multiple meanings to the phrase "Opposites Attract." | ” |
| Chris, completely failing to explain anything. | ||
In Episode 19, Simonla attends the dating classes and is eventually paired up with Wild Sonichu. Chris-chan had previously revealed this to Evan in the ancient Sonichu IRC chatroom[5], but it ended up creating one of the most horrific pages in Sonichu history.
Chris elaborated on their forced romance to Julie in Mumble 3, saying that he thought their romance seemed unlikely because they were so different. While it would be reasonable to assume he was referring to different cultural backgrounds or beliefs, he went on to clarify that he was talking about the fact that Simonla was a Ground-type and Wild was a Grass-type, two things he apparently believed had nothing in common.
Evan's response
In late December 2009, Evan e-mailed Chris, accusing him of lying about the resolution Chris claimed to have worked out with him. Chris ignored this e-mail.
Four mailbags later, Evan once again petitioned Chris, this time saying Chris was stealing his character. Evan politely asked Chris to kill Simonla in the comic, yet Chris responded by saying that he could not write out Simonla, as she was Wild's girlfriend, and that asking him to kill a fictional character devoid of any personality was monstrous.
Evan tried again, tired of it all, but Chris pointedly refused once more. Disillusioned with Chris, Evan allowed the creator of Asperchu, Alec Benson Leary, to feature Simonchu as one of Sonichu's friends. While Simonchu is portrayed as a homosexual in the comic, Evan confirmed in an e-mail to Chris that Simonchu is bisexual, and that Alec treated the character with far more respect than changing his gender without permission. Chris still persisted with his refusal, maintaining that killing Wild's girlfriend was evil.
The back-and-forth continued in Mailbag 43, where Chris responded with one of his most bizarre and megalomaniacal statements yet. He stated that Simonla "didn't want" to leave CWCville, and that Evan himself "moves on" under the influence of Chris's Directorial Powers. Chris would later claim that Simonla should be considered an original character, since Chris could have theoretically come up with the concept on his own, with the fact that he actually based her on Simonchu's design more or less a coincidence:
| “ | ...IF I start with a Normal Rosechu, give her ground and dirt for skin, add some Drills, Natural Second Transparent Eyelids, an Armadillo Shell with a Drill Spot for a Marking on the front, and Construction Shoes, DOES NOT MEAN AT ALL of YOUR story of "Re-Modifying Simonchu with a Vagina"; THE TWO ARE SEPARATE, INDIVIDUAL CHARACTERS, so do us all a favor and QUIT B****ING AND STRESSING YOURSELF TO YOUR OWN PREMATURE DEATH. | ” |
| Chris, Mailbag 44. | ||
In Mailbag 52, Evan shot back that "The Simonchu in your Haiti image was a caught-in-the-wild one anyway, I don't get why you even bothered including it. He can't even speak Human." The concept of two intrusive Great Directors making contradictory canon statements in a single universe was too baffling for Chris to comprehend.
Chris denies reality
After all this back-and-forth in the Mailbag over what to do with Simonla, on 2 February 2010[6] Chris added the following note to his profile of the character on the CWCipedia:
I had previously stated inspiration from Evan George's Simonchu Character; that was a fabrication, and I apologize for leaving the lie up for this whole time.
Simonchu was Never an Inspiration, or had Anything to do with Simonla Rosechu's creation whatsoever.
Thank you for being patient while I had thought further on Simonla's Background Story.This fooled absolutely no one. Evan and his fellows responded with a barrage of new advertisements at the top of every CWCipedia page, pointing out Chris's obvious lie.
Using those advertisements as a wedge, the Asperpedia creators hoped to eventually force Chris to do away with Simonla. As chronicled in Alec Benson Leary's phone calls with Chris, this proved to be an uphill battle, largely because Chris still holds to a child-like belief that Simonla is, in some sense, real, and that killing her in the comic has actual consequences. Over the course of late January and into early February 2010, Chris continued to insist that Simonla had to remain a part of his comic.
Chris relented somewhat as the ads on the CWCipedia grew more and more offensive. On 6 February 2010, he posted a video where he conceded defeat of a kind, promising to kill Simonla and remove her entry in the CWCipedia at some time in the indefinite future. This wasn't good enough for Evan, who exerted legal pressure to have the CWCipedia locked to edits.
On 8 February 2010, in his final phone conversation with Alec, Chris claimed that he had given in, drawn the pages of Simonla's death, and had them ready for uploading. However, either he never bothered to follow through on that promise or he simply never got the chance. Early on 9 February 2010, all the CWCipedia's content was deleted from its server space.
Death
On 9 February 2010, responding to the deletion of the CWCipedia, Chris admitted that his promise to get rid of Simonla was made under duress:
| “ | And I never wanted to kill Simonla! But I was practically back-BLACK mailed by that god damned by that god damned Evan... | ” |
| Chris, 9 February 2010 | ||
Belatedly, however, he made good. On 13 February 2010, Evan released two pages he received from Chris, where Chris makes a rote apology (dwelling for some strange reason on the topic of hamster rape) and Simonla dies. In the pages, it is shown that Simonla is killed by a toilet bomb in the ladies' bathroom during a date at the movies with Wild. After being treated by Bill the Scientist, who has apparently quit working for Team Rocket in favor of emergency medicine, Simonla passes on. Wild mourns for exactly ONE PANEL before Magi-Chan deus-ex-machinas where her killers are and he takes off on a mission of revenge. Simonla is injured offscreen and dies offscreen, exactly the opposite of what Alec requested.
The precise nature and location of her injury is not clear. However, in all drawings of her post-injury only her upper body part is seen, and it seems to have been unscathed by the explosion. This suggests that most of the damage was inflicted on her lower body part. In what may or may not be a coincidence, Simonla succumbs to "her internal injury," the same fate that felled a number of Chris's Officer Nasty dolls.
Some days later, Chris released a revised version of Simonla's death, in which the drama takes place over several pages and the previously vague identities of the "murderer and his crew", was, through a couple of edits, established as being Alec and the Asperpedia crew. Furthermore; Simonla is revealed to have shat out an egg, which is in the care of Wild when Simonla goes asplodey. A time jump occurs and the egg hatches into Sandy Rosechu. Sonichu #10 culminates in the father-daughter team of Wild and Sandy cooperating to execute Evan in spectacular and gory fashion, thereby going against Chris's long-held assertion that he would never stoop to Alec's level and include gratuitous gore in his comic.[7]
It's highly noted that the explosive toilet was ripped from the 1989 film, Lethal Weapon 2, where Mel Gibson's character pulled Danny Glover's character from a toilet that had a bomb attached, just like in the comic. Only instead of killing anyone, the toilet exploded and hits a car. It seems a bit uncharacteristic for Chris to steal from an "R" rated action film, but it should be noted that Chris has a strange habit of ripping off stuff he hasn't watched before, so he probably just knows of the famous scene itself and not the source material.
Resurrection
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It may contain content deemed not safe for work. Reader discretion is advised.
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Simonla photo album
On 24 May 2014, Chris uploaded to his Facebook profile a new cover photo featuring Lego figures of his various Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, Simonla being one of them. In said photo, Simonla appears to be missing her legs, possibly the result of the explosion that killed her. Later on the same day Chris uploaded to Facebook an album of pictures featuring Simonla's Lego figure, in which she is seen with her legs back. Two days afterwards Chris added to the album two photos of Sandy Rosechu. These pictures are reproduced below, but are hidden from the viewers due to the mature nature of one of the images.
The picture of Wild having sex with Simonla, humorously called ShecameforWild by some Chris watchers, was removed by Chris a couple of hours after it was uploaded, possibly due to criticism he received for it.
Facebook Anouncement and Responses
Kim Wilson was dumbfounded by Simonla's photo album, as she remembered that Simonla was supposed to be dead. Accordingly, she asked Chris on Facebook to clarify the matter:
|
24 May 2014 Christian Weston Chandler, wasn't this character supposed to die? If that's correct, and I'm remembering this correctly, then making this public post is bragging about your dishonesty. A man is only as good as his word. I know you're better than that, Chris. |
Chris replied to Kim by saying that Simonla was now alive and well:
| She was, but I had revived her, and I will eventually redraw the pages showing that she is NOT dead. The death was Troll-Influenced, so therefore I have undone that mistake. |
Kim, likely realizing that this was openly going against his word, was not satisfied by Chris's reply:
| It doesn't matter what inspired your art, I'm talking about the promise that you made to someone. Don't break your promises, Christian Weston Chandler. |
Chris responded with the two following comments:
| Everyone, sing along: I don't care. I don't care. Oh, look, a Free Hat! I don't care. You can put on clean bra and underwear. 'Cause I Don't Care. |
| I will do what I want, when I want, and no troll is going to rewrite MY history. Simonla Rosechu Lives On as a Model Construction Working Mother of Sandy with her husband, Wild Sonichu.
P.S. The voltorb was properly diffused and released back into the wilds of Kanto's abandoned electric plant. The damn trolls were still put under arrest. No bloody punishment was ensued upon the guilty; I personally beat the living crap out of them AND Daniel Mimms, then let them live out their Life-Long Prison Sentence in the offshore prison stronger than Alcatraz. |
| So There. |
William Elliott Waterman was bewildered by Chris's song:
| Is that the chaotic combos "what the heck do we care" song, or are you telling us something? |
| I'm telling you something. And it is in tune to "Hooray for Hollywood". |
Simonla as the Lynchpin
Simonla's death clearly weighed heavily on Chris's conscience - one could argue more so than anyone else in recent memory - but why?
Chris, as it has been seen many times, has a child-like understanding of death itself, so in many ways, this could be seen as Chris' personal way of coping with the loss. The truth, however, is most likely a much darker and potentially more tragic one, bearing in mind that Chris sees cartoon characters as being alive.
At its core, all of Chris's personal achievements - CWCville and the entire Sonichu franchise - represent what can best be described as his personal defense mechanism. When Chris was agitated, stressed, or sad, he always had his personal retreat vectors in place - he could always turn to CWCville, and always turn to Sonichu, and was able to bounce back from any hardship and any setback. Even as late as 2010, Chris was impervious to his countless losses - the various Sweethearts he lost, the entire Miyamoto Incident, Chris always managed to recover in short order. The death of a Gal-Pal was never enough to thwart his Love Quest, and no number of public bans could stop him from trespassing anyway.
And yet that just stopped. Chris stopped making comics, stopped going to places that had banned him.
Chris became more isolated, more withdrawn. But why?
The most likely scenario is that Simonla, and more specifically, her death, acted as the final trigger. When the Asperchu Saga began, and more specifically, Evan began pressuring Chris to get rid of a character that technically was never his in the first place, the sanctuaries that Chris had long relied upon as his primary defense against his hardships - CWCville in particular - were gradually stripped from him. He couldn't flee to Sonichu and friends when these were under a constant siege via Asperchu, and he couldn't go hide in CWCville when Evan was insisting that Simonla be killed off. Chris eventually relented, and though he came as close to making things right as he'd ever actually do, the loss was one that was far more important than one might realize. At its core, the death of Simonla represents more than just the death of one Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, even though to Chris, her death was as real as any person in his life's demise - it represented the first time that someone had an outside force on CWCVille and Sonichu as a whole, and essentially attacked his creation directly. Even though it was minor, even though it involved a character that wasn't even technically his, for Chris, this was an attack on his world on-scale with the Twin Falling Towers. Up until this point, Chris's rule in his universe was absolute - hence his constant referring to himself as the "Great Director Chandler" and setting himself up as a deific figure in the comics.
But all of that changed when Simonla Rosechu died. In Evan forcing Chris to kill off a character (that was never Chris's to use in the first place, to reiterate this fact, so Chris may never obliterate it), he breached the last wall that shielded Chris from reality, the barrier beyond which Chris's will was inviolable. For once, Chris had to realize that even in his fantasy world, he was not omnipotent.
And he fucking hated this.
Those familiar with Chris know that he invariably takes the path of least resistance, even if there is no merit, often to his detriment. But for once, none of his usual methods for fighting this off worked - he couldn't simply ignore it. Simonla had been cruelly taken away, and CWCville itself had been violated. Even with the whirlwind of revenge Chris brought down on his enemies in Sonichu #10, the damage to his personal happy-place had been done. He couldn't simply hand-wave this, even with his GDC powers - he himself had enshrined the damage to his own world in an effort to make the trolling cease.
Chris simply didn't recover from this - it was the final trigger that completely shut down all of his comics from then onwards. No longer did Chris have the ability to retreat to his perfect fantasy world, because Simonla had been taken from it, and he had been directly involved with making it happen. Whilst many can point out the obvious - that learning lessons such as the loss of loved ones are necessary for normal development - Chris has been protected from ever having to face the consequences of his actions repeatedly.
Until the moment Simonla died.
As such, the Simonla incident remains the first time he had to face reality. With CWCville no longer perfect, Chris had to do the unthinkable, and recognize that he himself was not perfect, which any veteran of the CWCki will tell you he is wholly incapable of doing. The only recourse was to undo it, but since Chris himself enshrined her death and those of the Asperpedia Four in Sonichu #10, he couldn't. Not without likewise undoing the deaths of several he had already killed and shown no remorse over. Thus, he speaks of attempting to retcon it, or of flat-out reviving her after the fact.
The tragedy, of course, is that the revival of Simonla, clearly an attempt to rebuild the sanctity of his creation, is a dream that can never truly be. More than the obvious problems - of this being essentially an open invitation for those who breached his defenses the first time, the simple fact remains that not only does this solidify Chris as a blatant liar (as if we needed more evidence of that), but it will all essentially come to naught. He cannot ever really return to the world where his view reigned supreme at all times, now that the bitter canker of reality has taken root. He tries to bring Simonla back because it prevents him from staring imperfection in the face.
Chris stated openly that this (among other things) was part of a larger plan by Chris to undo "Troll influences and Manipulations".[8] The rather bitter irony is that should he go through with it, it will actually accomplish the exact opposite.
Gallery
Chris subtly lets slip his pedofork tendencies through Simonla.
This is God punishing Evan for sending him those e-mails.
The e-mail confirming Simonla's appearance.
Chris gives Evan his page(s)...
...and starts with a wall of text.
Chris kills off Simonla by having a toilet bomb blow up her china.
Alec Benson Leary offers his own take on Simonla's demise.
- WildCADbortion1.jpg
- WildCADbortion2.jpg
- WildCADbortion3.jpg
Even while seeking "Help for Haiti", Chris can't help claiming that Simonla is not Simonchu and that both characters are his.<ref>File:HelpHaitSonichu.jpg
Sources
- ↑ [1]
- ↑ [2]
- ↑ per the words of her clone
- ↑ http://evang-y.deviantart.com/art/Simonchu-96132351
- ↑ IRC (16 October 2008) at 02:21
- ↑ Mailbag 53
- ↑ June 2012 Facebook posts#Good News
See also
External links