Sweetheart
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Chris's term for his true love ("heartsweet" is also used in the comics). His goal is to build a sweetheart from the ground up to give birth to his God-chosen daughter, Crystal Weston Chandler (named after the illustrious metal and a name similar to his own).
Providing Chris with a sweetheart who is really a troll has been a sport for trolls for sometime now. With the except of Julie, none of the trolls have revealed themselves. Some argue that this is that being a sweetheart to Chris is like Stockholm syndrome, leading trolls such as Blanca and Panda to identify and sympathize with their captor.
Qualifications to becoming a TRUE and HONEST sweetheart of Chris
- MUST be boyfriend-free. (can't emphasise that enough!)
- MUST be 18 - (Chris's current age).
- MUST be white (NO DARKIES).
- MUST have a car.
- MUST have a mid to high salary.
- MUST live within 30 miles of the Ruckersville area.
- MUST NOT be a cop.
- MUST NOT have Autism.
- MUST NOT be a man.
- IRISH need NOT apply.
If you fit all of the criteria and are into overweight freakish, perverse man-children, then God help you!
See Also
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This article, like Chris's pickle, is a bit small. You can help CWCki by expanding it. |