Difference between revisions of "CWC's Second Message"

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After months of trying to either ignore or edit the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, [[Chris]] explodes with fury in this video. He blames ED for causing his falling-out with [[Megan]], although anyone with a brainstem could tell that had occurred months before ED had ever heard of him.


Chris also begins threatening to withhold the release of [[Sonichu 7]] and all further comics unless the ED page is removed. Naturally, [[troll]]s were terrified that they would never see the conclusion to the absorbing story that Chris had created, and rushed to meet his demands.
This is a beloved classic in the CWC canon, and it was in this video that Chris coined the term "[[pedofork]]."
==Video==
{{Tardrage}}{{Infobox/video
| name          = CWC's Second Message
| image          = {{#ev:youtube|1XmuUP8Z7r4}}
| Stardate      = 3 [[August 2008]]
| Maker          = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter  = {{Homos|text}}, {{Comics|text}}, {{Galpals|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| Performance Style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| Saga          = {{ED|text}}
| Shirt          = {{RedShirt|text}}
| previous      = [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]
| next          = [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)]]
}}
{{quote|I am not a [[pedofork]], you dorks!}}
===Transcript===
''Citizens of the [[Internet]]'': I present an open message to each and every one of you.
[[Chris and his ego|Y'all should know me by now]], but, if you don't, I am [[Christian Weston Chandler]], ''the'' original creator of [[Sonichu]], the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], back on March 17th, [[2000]]. Any dates earlier are void. I present this open message because I have a whole bunch of people on the Internet [''removes [[glasses]] dramatically''] give me hate…—show me a lot of hate... and I do not appreciate it. Ticks me off.
You think you can just… hate me just to get a laugh out of yourself. Think about it. You're laughing at somebody else's pain and torture, because I am lonesome, still trying to find a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]] and to make into a [[sweetheart]]. Y'all think I'm just a sap, a chump, dumbass, whatever you may think. But you know what? You… ''you!'' Every last one of you, who has sh—expressed hate against me? ''You're'' the shitheads!
[[Image:Herbert (Family Guy).JPG|thumb|120px|Chris at age 70, if his cholesterol would allow him to live that long]]
Also, every last one of you who thinks that I am similar to that—of that senile old man in ''[[Family Guy]]''… ''you're'' the [[pedophiles]]. Every one of you who thinks I'm [[homo]] and calls me that—because I am not; I'm ''straight''! I'm ''straight''!—''you’re'' the homos! Every last one of you!
I could—I could take the whole time to express so much ''anger'' and frustration. I'm only nearsighted; I do wear glasses. [''replaces glasses on face''] Take it or leave it, losers! [''removes glasses dramatically (again)''] It m—it helps me see better… see more detail and more clear vision than any of you knuckleheads can put together out of your own ego that you so richly... [''begins awkwardly tapping PS3 controller''] consume of.
But… on a more serious note: learning recently of the false—or real—literature, with downloaded… ''copies'' of my comic pages and whatnot. It has been either distributed or created ''without'' my consent or approval. So... it ''is'' a fake... and if it ever is published, or if it ever shows profit, let it weigh on your consciousness throughout your eternal life… that you are torturing and—worse off—tearing the heart, and soul, and emotions of the innocent man. The out—the innocent—still 26-year-old [''slams arms down on chair’s arms''] ''virgin''. Not only that, but I have so many lonely nights and stress… that you can not just imagine it!
Now, as for the other serious note: of any new stuff officially made by me, under my own… hands… ''not'' by anybody else's, which are considered ''false''. I just have not been feeling the inspiration to draw—to color! Because the loneliness…—I cannot stand that. The hatred I'm getting from every last one of you who has contributed to that [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] web page… and every other forum, Internet document, lewdly drawn pictures with… ''dicks''…—I love ''dykes!'' ''Dykes!'' ''[[China|CHINA]]!'' I'm ''straight!'' If I ever—if I see a dick, I just look away, with a moment of being freaked out! [''makes arm gesture for “safe!”'']
[[Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumb|right|200px|"She has come for me"]]
''And'' e-mailing me pictures is not gonna get any of you any further conclusion to “Will [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal]] get out of [[Dark Mirror Hole|the mirror]]?”, “Will the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] be collected?”, “Will I ''ever'' find my [[sweetheart]]?” ''And'' am I—am I or [[Megan Schroeder]] still an item—” which by the way, she broke up with me so much long ti—so much long ago because the contributors to that ED page… you broke the emotional streng—strength between us. You promoted such twists and turns to everything I have said [''begins tapping PS3 controller against his hand to count the offenses''] and drawn and written and ''whatnot''… You broke up the best friendship, the best relationship, the ''closest'' I could ever have in this ''pitiful adult life!'' ''You'' did it! Every last one of you! If I could blame myself, I would definitely blame myself for drawing [[Rule 34|those ''five'' pictures]]! Those five drawings! And, by the way, that is not ''Crystal'' whose eyes are censored; [''covers eyes with one hand momentarily''] that is ''Megan!'' And just for—and just for—for taking it up—and twisting it around and such!
Think about it. ''Think about it!'' Weigh it on your conscience! Because nothing—no more official Sonichu art or work may—or may not—ever emerge… depending on the amount of hate that is decreased! That web page: ''taken off the Internet''! I wish I'd never found that piece of ''shit'' in the first place, back on that Halloween of [[2007|’07]], somewhere around there. And promoting the hatred, and… drawing such loose—such ''lucrid'' mockeries is ''not'' gonna further the story plot or have anything new created, or even gonna help in any way… as I am telling you this, right into my [[PSEye|PlayStation Eye]]!
[''sighs deeply''] If I ever do find the one that is to be my sweetheart, I will give her such care, such tenderness, such love… we get around to the [[Chris and sex|hanky-panky]], that's fine, that's good… we get married. I will have my God-create—my [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|God-called daughter]]! She will be taken care of… lovingly. Those of you mock me otherwise, with such ''frivolous, lucrid adultery''… if I ever hear another—any more new stuff, it will weigh on your conscience, with me ''tearing at your souls''… emotionally! Let ''that'' weigh on your conscience, for those of you who have already done so or are thinking about doing it!
I am not a ''[[pedofork]]'', you ''dorks''!
[[Image:Chris chan by B Comes B-459.png|thumb|200px|Mmmm China]]
[''sighs''] I tell ya… so much anger, so much stress… it's hard to see straight. Let that, the result of all that you have contributed against me, weigh heavily like a 10,000-pound anvil! "Sixteen tons, whadd'ya get? Another day older and deeper in debt!" [''pronounces the b in “debt”'']
[[Chris and religion|If I was not a baptized man]] over at the [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|Methodist church]] by the [[University of Virginia]], I'd tell every last one of you that contributed to the hatred and downpour, "Go to hell." But I can—but I would not even weigh that upon my worst enemy, because that—because [[Twin Falling Towers|I am more kind than ya think]]. Y'all just do not see that; y'all just twist my words around. [''clears throat''] I do not wish to see any more hatrey or adult mockery, and I want that Encyclopedia Dramatica page taken down forever! It will weigh heavily on your conscience each day that it is ''still'' up there.
[''replaces glasses on face''] I leave you with any other thoughts that you ''may'' have. But if you ''dare'' twist ''these'' words around, that will weigh ''worse'' on your conscience. The words that ''I'' provide from sound mind and ''heart''… it will weigh heavily on you.
[[Obesity|It will weigh ''heavily'' on you.]]
== Fan videos ==
{{collapsible
|Videos
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name          = Metal Love Solid: Portable Jerkops
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|p03W5ElzdGI}}
| Stardate      = 6 August [[2008]]
| Maker          = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject        =
| Video Type    =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name          = Creator of the Internet
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|hxN_TCywHPg}}
| Stardate      = 15 September [[2008]]
| Maker          = Jawsusfreak777
| Subject        =
| Video Type    =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name          = Sgt. Autism.
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|jeSovLPzVFA}}
| Stardate      = 22 September [[2008]]
| Maker          = xjrlol
| Subject        =
| Video Type    =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name          = Chris Chan's Message To CHINA!
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|5vPj14MDJVE}}
| Stardate      = 14 [[January 2009]]
| Maker          = CWCLovesPickles
| Subject        =
| Video Type    =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name          = Vanilla Chris - "Dykes Dykes China"
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|Br-yK7nbHuk}}
| Stardate      = 14 [[March 2009]]
| Maker          = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject        =
| Video Type    =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name          = Christian Chandler (CWC) Presents: A Music Remix from [[Kacey|my New Gal-Pal]].
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|1CHjLvHSe3Q}}
| Stardate      = 5 [[June 2009]]
| Maker          = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject        =
| Video Type    =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name          = Ringo Chris - "Christian Chandler: Lonesome Heart Soul Man (Reprise)"
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|L79PdhpQKr8}}
| Stardate      = 8 [[September 2009]]
| Maker          = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject        =
| Video Type    =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name          = Chris-Chan is a Pedophile
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|7kNrlediMZc}}
| maker          = CelGamer
| stardate      = 8 [[February 2010]]
| type          =
}}
}}
==See also==
*[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]|nextlink=[[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}
[[Category: Captain's log entries| 2008-08-03]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, August 2008| 03]]
[[Category: ED Saga videos| 2008-08-03]]
[[Category: Videos about homos| 2008-08-03]]

Revision as of 18:49, 31 December 2010

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