Difference between revisions of "Dating education"
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As with most people with [[autism]], [[Chris]] tries to seek out clear, direct steps in social interactions. While modern psychology offers such people social skills groups which address the root issues by introducing basic social skills, Chris takes a different approach. He firmly believes that our public education system should fund "dating education" where students are paired with members of the opposite gender with others to learn the "correct" way of asking a person out and having a date. | As with most people with [[autism]], [[Chris]] tries to seek out clear, direct steps in social interactions. While modern psychology offers such people social skills groups which address the root issues by introducing basic social skills, Chris takes a different approach. He firmly believes that our public education system should fund "dating education" where students are paired with members of the opposite gender with others to learn the "correct" way of asking a person out and having a date. | ||
==Course Syllabus== | ==Course Syllabus Analyzed== | ||
'''Required text''': [[How to Talk to Girls]] | '''Required text''': [[How to Talk to Girls]] | ||
'''Core concepts''': | '''Core concepts''': | ||
*''"Remain calm and to keel all flustered emotions off your minds when first approaching your person of emotional interest"'' | *''"Remain calm and to keel all flustered emotions off your minds when first approaching your person of emotional interest"'' In this, it becomes obvious that Chris feels that men without fail see women as <del>sex objects</del> potential sweethearts. This is probably why so many of his Platonic relationships with "[[gal-pals]]" seemed to consist of him frantically trying to fuck his "friend." | ||
*Be friends first and ''"let the romantic emotions grow between you two over a reasonable amount of time. A few weeks to even a few months will multiple meetings and dates with your friend are reccomended [sic]."'' | *Be friends first and ''"let the romantic emotions grow between you two over a reasonable amount of time. A few weeks to even a few months will multiple meetings and dates with your friend are reccomended [sic]."'' We can be pretty sure Chris has never actually had a friend in his entire life; he supposedly hates me for "starting wars and such' and is unable to see friendship with a female as anything other than the first step to impregnating her with his future daughter. | ||
*A gentlemen ''"should ask before kissing her (or you), as a gesture of respect and kindness"'' | *A gentlemen ''"should ask before kissing her (or you), as a gesture of respect and kindness"'' This statement is proof that Chris can learn basic facts, provided they are repeated loudly and consistently over a period of many years. It is yet to be seen if Chris will remember this next time he sees a live girl. | ||
'''Methodology:''' | '''Methodology:''' | ||
*Boys are given [[Barbara]] dolls and girls are given [[Bob Chandler|Robert]] dolls to better understand the "opposite gender." | *Boys are given [[Barbara]] dolls and girls are given [[Bob Chandler|Robert]] dolls to better understand the "opposite gender." This is somewhat confusing, but suggests that Chris sees his parents as paragons of romantic bliss, rather than the fat whore and womanizer that they are. | ||
*Students are paired up by the teacher over the internet anonymously and then eventually reveal themselves and fall in love in person. | *Students are paired up by the teacher over the internet anonymously and then eventually reveal themselves and fall in love in person. Perhaps the creepiest aspect of Chris's course, this ensures that no one, no matter how retarded, has to be alone. Chris already believes that women have no role in choosing a mate, and this takes that one step further by removing the difficulty of "attracting" a woman. | ||
*Students will be required to regularly do short transcripts of imaginary conversations with GI Joes for the women and Barbies with the men. | *Students will be required to regularly do short transcripts of imaginary conversations with GI Joes for the women and Barbies with the men. | ||
*Darkies are rejected by anthropomorphic pokemon because Chris hates them | *Darkies are rejected by anthropomorphic pokemon because Chris hates them. Presumably, because Chris is "old-fashioned," the blacks, whom he respects as equals, would have their own <del>forced mating ritual</del>, or perhaps manage to escape the horrors of CWCville altogether. | ||
==Final Exam== | ==Final Exam== | ||
Revision as of 20:35, 13 April 2009
| “ | Those who can, do, those who can't, teach | ” |
| Anonymous | ||
As with most people with autism, Chris tries to seek out clear, direct steps in social interactions. While modern psychology offers such people social skills groups which address the root issues by introducing basic social skills, Chris takes a different approach. He firmly believes that our public education system should fund "dating education" where students are paired with members of the opposite gender with others to learn the "correct" way of asking a person out and having a date.
Course Syllabus Analyzed
Required text: How to Talk to Girls
Core concepts:
- "Remain calm and to keel all flustered emotions off your minds when first approaching your person of emotional interest" In this, it becomes obvious that Chris feels that men without fail see women as
sex objectspotential sweethearts. This is probably why so many of his Platonic relationships with "gal-pals" seemed to consist of him frantically trying to fuck his "friend."
- Be friends first and "let the romantic emotions grow between you two over a reasonable amount of time. A few weeks to even a few months will multiple meetings and dates with your friend are reccomended [sic]." We can be pretty sure Chris has never actually had a friend in his entire life; he supposedly hates me for "starting wars and such' and is unable to see friendship with a female as anything other than the first step to impregnating her with his future daughter.
- A gentlemen "should ask before kissing her (or you), as a gesture of respect and kindness" This statement is proof that Chris can learn basic facts, provided they are repeated loudly and consistently over a period of many years. It is yet to be seen if Chris will remember this next time he sees a live girl.
Methodology:
- Boys are given Barbara dolls and girls are given Robert dolls to better understand the "opposite gender." This is somewhat confusing, but suggests that Chris sees his parents as paragons of romantic bliss, rather than the fat whore and womanizer that they are.
- Students are paired up by the teacher over the internet anonymously and then eventually reveal themselves and fall in love in person. Perhaps the creepiest aspect of Chris's course, this ensures that no one, no matter how retarded, has to be alone. Chris already believes that women have no role in choosing a mate, and this takes that one step further by removing the difficulty of "attracting" a woman.
- Students will be required to regularly do short transcripts of imaginary conversations with GI Joes for the women and Barbies with the men.
- Darkies are rejected by anthropomorphic pokemon because Chris hates them. Presumably, because Chris is "old-fashioned," the blacks, whom he respects as equals, would have their own
forced mating ritual, or perhaps manage to escape the horrors of CWCville altogether.
Final Exam
The final exam consists of 10 questions, the last being an essay question. No calculators. Black or blue ink only. You have one hour to complete. Send all answers to Chris himself so they may be used to improve his own personal dating method graded.
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Name_________________ Date__________
**FOR ALL Sonichu & Rosechu Site VISITORS AND COMIC READERS** YOU MAY TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELF AND IF YOU DO, FEEL FREE TO COPY THIS IMAGE, PRINT IT OUT, AND TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELVES. THEN E-MAIL ME YOUR ANSWERS, VERBATIM, ESPECIALLY THE ESSAY QUESTION AND I WILL GRADE IT HONESTLY. |