Difference between revisions of "Giant Penis Comic"

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{{DeadLinks}}
[[File:skeetanimehero.jpeg]]
{{honest}}
The '''Giant Penis Comic''' (officially '''''Sonichu'' Comic Special 3''', also known colloquially as '''PENIS COMIC''' in the [[Audiobooks]] adaptation) is a short comic drawn by [[Chris]], depicting his [[Chris and sex|wedding night]] with [[Ivy]]. It was hacked and published by [[The Miscreants]] on [[April 2009|29 April 2009]]. Besides being a true masterpiece of romance and artistic integrity, it's also notable for having a probable outline of Chris's [[Duck|penis]]. Shakespeare would be proud.


{{quote|I specifically wanted him to make an accurate depiction of his dick in the wedding comic because I worried he'd hide the bend. To comply with this request he traced his penis to cut down on effort (and staring).|Ivy's response to a question in [[Ivy Q&A]]}}


==Story==
[[Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|thumb|The Giant Penis in question.]]


Following the events of Chris and Ivy's [[Wedding Comic|wedding]], Chris meets with Ivy's father [[Officer Keino]] who, it is worth noting, looks eerily like [[Things_Chris_has_ripped_off#Home_movies|coach John McGuirk]] from [[Adult Swim]]'s [[Wikipedia:Home Movies (TV series)|''Home Movies'']]. Chris immediately begins brown-nosing his new father-in-law, displaying the utmost respect to both the man and the uniform. (This is especially hilarious considering Chris's issues with [[Jerkops]], and [[Bagget]] in particular.) Keino launches into a speech about what a great man Chris is and how he admires the tribulations our hero has endured. He entrusts Ivy to Chris's "[[Mass debating|strong, capable hands]]," which makes no sense, as usually the father of the bride gives his blessing ''before'' the wedding; instead we have Keino granting Chris permission to fuck his daughter (because who wouldn't want to read a porn comic that had their father in it?)
Skeet is the god of eternity at the McSpanky's fast food restaurant. Skeet calls everyone, "dude," and claims to be smart, but others see him as dim-witted. However, McSpanky's came to life and tried to destroy every other food joint and Skeet did not run away. When the restaurant was shot at the sun, the Space Bandits found the place and turned it into a spaceship. Believing that Skeet was the one responsible for this awesome technology, they vowed to find him and exploit his great wisdom, which they never did, for some reason.


We then see Chris and Ivy checking into the Double-CWC Hotel (A [[Random-access humor|pun]] on the phrase ''double quick'', and confirming that we are indeed still in [[CWCville]]), where Chris has reserved a luxurious penthouse suite (even though the exterior of the hotel does not show a [[Wikipedia:Penthouse apartment|penthouse]], nor do we see that their "[[Wikipedia:Suite (hotel)|suite]]" contains any more than one room). Chris has of course thought of everything—the room is set up with no fewer than five [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Glade Plug-Ins brand air fresheners]], and they will be sharing a meal of grilled chicken, mashed potatoes, greens and chocolate pudding.
Skeet, initially called upon as Skeetui Yoshimato, was raised in an exceedingly poor rice village in southern Koyushu. His grandfather was a war trained assassin who was tasked to eliminate U.S operatives. Although Skeetu's grandfather was Japanese, he was fluent in American English. This is why "Skeet" sounds like a typical American teenage boy. After many years of vigorous katana training on Mt. Fuji, Skeet traveled to the United States of America in hopes of beginniing a new life, honoring his ancestors in the process. Skeetui wanted to experience the American Dream, and thought working in fast food would be a good place to start. So, after moving to Retroville, Skeetui earned a job position as the cashier at McSpanky's. Soon, through hard work and dedication, he became employee of the month. This was an achievement unparalleled by any employee of McSpanky's. When Jimbo and two of his friends walked in and talked about getting a job at the restaurant, Skeetui made a seemingly irrational move by hiring the boys. However, Skeetui was a man who wanted to give these younger children an opportunity to straighten themselves out. Initially, two of his new employees worked well considering their age. However, Jimbo gave Skeetui trouble in a now-notorious incident in which Jimbo claimed to be smarter than the cash register, therefore stating he didn't need to use it. But, the cash register is used for tracking purposes, validating Skeetui's discontent with Jimbo. Later that night, Jimbo would sneak into McSpanky's and would commit vandalism by changing the interior to appear futuristic. As if this weren't the worst case, Jimbo also attached rockets to the restaurant, launching it into the air. As the restaurant was taking off, Skeetui was bravely saving the lives of men, women, and children alike by line backing them off the premise. However, time was very limited, causing the demise of our hero who, soon after, ascended into godhood.


Chris carries [[Ivy]] over the threshold and they are almost immediately [[Nudes|naked]].  Chris stands, displaying his almighty [[duck]], which he draws as gigantic, equal in thickness (and almost in length) to his legs. Chris seems indeed to have done as Ivy said and traced his real penis - the crookedness is highly evident. [[Anime]] speed lines inexplicably whiz past both Chris and Ivy's naked forms, suggesting that they are about to lose their respective virginities in a high-speed collision. A disturbingly intense study will reveal that the speedlines are only there to cover up the fact that Chris began to draw a huge scrotum (he was probably tracing that, too) still visible as a half-circle, complete with pubes to go with his amazing duck, using the speedlines to conceal the half-finished pubes (that go off at different angles). Also, the misshapen head of the penis is the same size as his actual head.
  === Trivia ===


The newlyweds copulate for all of one panel before they both transform — Chris into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], and Ivy into her [[Ivy|Princess Ivy]] fursona. The two wretched creatures assume the [[Wikipedia:Doggy style|doggy-style position]], and fuck into the wee hours. As they achieve simultaneous orgasms, both Chris and Ivy have stars in their eyes as they share the solemn thought of thanking [[Christian Weston Chandler|God]] for allowing them to find true furfag happiness.
Skeetui was originally more powerful in the manga. However, he was nerfed to dish out less damage per second in the anime, as for Jimbo fans would complain.  
 
Some look up to Skeetui as the Profit, and is thought to be the messiah that will return one day.
The comic ends with the two gorging themselves on their $10-chicken dinner, making a toast with wine glasses filled with [[CWC Cola|CWC Orange Soda]], and [[Semen|God knows what else.]] Chris and Ivy share a feeble attempt at humor that was lifted from ''Home Movies''. Strangely enough, despite this comic being set the night after Chris's wedding, neither he nor his bride are depicted wearing their wedding bands. If you look carefully though, there is what appears to be a pair of copper rings on Chris's right hand, indicating a half-hearted attempt, but they are infrequently drawn, and Ivy isn't drawn with a ring at any point. The furry sex was clearly more important to set to paper than consistently and correctly drawing the outward sign of his Christian matrimony.
Skeetui roughly translates to "sperm whale", according to fan translations.
{{clear}}
It can be observed that Skeetui's main catchphrase is "dude".
 
==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:SchuComicSP3P1.jpg|HEY BRENDON, why am I in a shitty comic by an autistic manchild?
Image:SchuComicSP3P2.jpg|Ivy used too much botox. Also, note the "romantic" dinner and dessert planned.
Image:SchuComicSP3P3.jpg|This is a "penthouse suite". Also, bathroom air fresheners are a big turn on: use eight of them!
Image:SchuComicSP3P4.jpg|Chris's extraordinary sense of dimension has finally got him laid. His magically changing shirt was probably a big help too.
Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|Chris can't escape his bent [[duck|dick]] even in his comics.
Image:SchuComicSP3P6.jpg|Then the yiffing commences. Notice Chris draws himself and Ivy better as furfags than as real people.
Image:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg|THANK YOU GOD! It's over!
Image:SchuComicSP3P8.jpg|Lines [[Things Chris has ripped off|stolen]] from Home Movies. Lines that were intentionally unromantic!
</gallery></center>
 
==External links==
*<strike>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=UBO4NR0H Download the Giant Penis Comic]</strike> Dead Megaupload link
 
{{Sonichu}}
 
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]][[Category: Ivy Saga]][[Category:Rule 34]]

Revision as of 14:35, 13 September 2017

File:Skeetanimehero.jpeg


Skeet is the god of eternity at the McSpanky's fast food restaurant. Skeet calls everyone, "dude," and claims to be smart, but others see him as dim-witted. However, McSpanky's came to life and tried to destroy every other food joint and Skeet did not run away. When the restaurant was shot at the sun, the Space Bandits found the place and turned it into a spaceship. Believing that Skeet was the one responsible for this awesome technology, they vowed to find him and exploit his great wisdom, which they never did, for some reason.

Skeet, initially called upon as Skeetui Yoshimato, was raised in an exceedingly poor rice village in southern Koyushu. His grandfather was a war trained assassin who was tasked to eliminate U.S operatives. Although Skeetu's grandfather was Japanese, he was fluent in American English. This is why "Skeet" sounds like a typical American teenage boy. After many years of vigorous katana training on Mt. Fuji, Skeet traveled to the United States of America in hopes of beginniing a new life, honoring his ancestors in the process. Skeetui wanted to experience the American Dream, and thought working in fast food would be a good place to start. So, after moving to Retroville, Skeetui earned a job position as the cashier at McSpanky's. Soon, through hard work and dedication, he became employee of the month. This was an achievement unparalleled by any employee of McSpanky's. When Jimbo and two of his friends walked in and talked about getting a job at the restaurant, Skeetui made a seemingly irrational move by hiring the boys. However, Skeetui was a man who wanted to give these younger children an opportunity to straighten themselves out. Initially, two of his new employees worked well considering their age. However, Jimbo gave Skeetui trouble in a now-notorious incident in which Jimbo claimed to be smarter than the cash register, therefore stating he didn't need to use it. But, the cash register is used for tracking purposes, validating Skeetui's discontent with Jimbo. Later that night, Jimbo would sneak into McSpanky's and would commit vandalism by changing the interior to appear futuristic. As if this weren't the worst case, Jimbo also attached rockets to the restaurant, launching it into the air. As the restaurant was taking off, Skeetui was bravely saving the lives of men, women, and children alike by line backing them off the premise. However, time was very limited, causing the demise of our hero who, soon after, ascended into godhood.

 === Trivia ===

Skeetui was originally more powerful in the manga. However, he was nerfed to dish out less damage per second in the anime, as for Jimbo fans would complain. Some look up to Skeetui as the Profit, and is thought to be the messiah that will return one day. Skeetui roughly translates to "sperm whale", according to fan translations. It can be observed that Skeetui's main catchphrase is "dude".