I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC

Video from 26 July 2009 where Chris asserts he is real.

File:StraightCWC.png

His duck hungers for Tom-Tom to pound.

Summary

Titled "I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts", this video discusses his videos singing about gay pride, among other things. Notable for Chris-Chan's first use of annotations, to great effect.

Video

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Transcript

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Hi! Christian Weston Chandler here! And I am here to dispel a big, fat thing. [cut] The Ok2bgay sign. [cut] When I first read the lyrics I was being blackmailed into doing this. [cut] I felt queasy [dramatically removes glasses] from the first time I looked at the very first line [dramatically discards glasses] of that damn, dirty song. [0:30] But then later, a friend made me realise, uh a friend told me that it was originally done as a mockery! A mockery by the damn Tomboy. A mockery! So I went with that and did my own spin-off of [arms outstretched] Monty Python's Flying Circus! [Annotation: Really Stupid Flying Donkey] So therefore when I was saying it's okay to be gay I was saying it's okay to be STUPID! Stupid! That's one reason why I put that message in front of the video. Y'know, the word is stupid! The word is STUPID! The whole premise was stupid and that's what I went with. Stupid! I am straight! (four captions appear: "I AM STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!", "I LOVE NATURAL WOMAN BREASTS!!!!!", "GIVE ME LIBERATED VAG!!!!!", and "MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR TOM-TOM TO POUND!!!!!") (cut) Would I even be doing this if I-- (cut) And look at me. Do I look like-- (nods in disagreement) No more of those stupid acquistion messages! (cut) Get it through your fucking individual damn dirty skulls! I am straight! Do not diss me anymore! Or you will further diss CWCville and the city of Charlottesville! (cut) But anyway, to prove another point that I am indeed the real Christian Weston Chandler. And that I am not that damn fucking damn imposter in brown! I am going to show you a history, (He reveals a black folder with a the cover picture of Sonichu Issue 0 on the cover) of close-ups. A close-up history. Let's have a look in here, shall we? (cut) (A close-up of the cover of Sonichu Issue 0 appears) Ah yes, the infamous classic handdrawn cover of the number 0 book. You can never, ever copy the handdrawn styles. No matter how hard you try. (cut) My art speaks for me. Now let's look at some more. (cut) Here's a one page I'm sure you remember. (cut) (A close-up of Sonichu defeating the Perfect Chaos Monster appears) Bad, bad Leeroy Brown. (cut) (A close-up of Sonichu and Rosechu kissing under some fireworks appears) Mine and the first romantic attempt, and I did an awesome fucking job. (cut) (A close-up picture of the Sonichu game for Gamecube appears) Here's another one. (cut) And that corner tag came from an original "Only for Gamecube" title that was originally...a Gamecube title but then later it expanded to other consoles. Damn X-box. "Chemical X?" "No, cherry cola." A favorite classic ad. Oh yeah, here comes a laugh. "I'm Robotnik, Robotnik du du du du du Robotnik Robotnik du du du du du duuuu" "Hahahahaha" (cut) What's the differnce between Amy and Rosechu? Long tale. Rosechu has spikes. Amy has a red headband, Rosey has white. Her default outfit has stripes. Amy's does not. Blue and fire-engine red are their favorite colors. She prefers a different shade of red, Amy does. Now While they are going getting about, we'd like to save time and money with Get-co. (cut) Only for the straight man. Axe. He use the Orizon--Orion scent. "May I orbit your belt, sweetheart?" "Yeah I'll let you orbit my belt...as long as you want until midnight hahaha yeah! Jackpot!" (cut) And now something completely different. An Inuyasha parody, very good. (cut) Hey, hey. The gang's all here. What the heck do we care? What the heck do we care? (cut) Here you are, two famous ladies.

I'm a machine in my afro suit its so easy to clean just wash it wash oh amy wasn't who ripped his tail it was Mypo you dang old dorks

Oh look I made it from legos and pixelblocks. And believe it or not I play thunderhorse Guitar Hero!

I went I fought. I eventually conquered the courage. Heaven only knows what you might find. DARE. Dare to keep alll your dreams alive!

The twin sister I wish I had in real life. Holy beta sigma optimus prime. Where is Bumblebee when I need him? Damn you Bagget

Special something guest star Jacks Knight Where is the queen and king. Matter of fact was there an ace in the hole? The hole of the queeen?

CWCspells Activate! ANDDDD creature swap!

In the name of all hearts in the universe we shall punish you!

• punch noise* That hurt. Damn you dirty witch. Damn you

Welcome to cwcville. Lets get this party started

Evil Witch I shall avenge all hearts you have shattered including myself in october 2003

• sings*alalla tuxeudo kamen

Patty I miss you. come home. I'll go play catch and dear kitty misses you too very much so. I love you

Miss Alison amber has been appointed vice mayor upon her hiring as she took the position of mayor during my absence within the alternate dimension. Billy Mays was never the mayor he was my body guard and body double. Shave off his beard we look alike,although I constantly mistake him for richard karn *sings* Home improvement home improvement starring tim allen Come on back Billy mays and enjoy our sakura festivals in cwcville

Sonic had a twin brother. And He's a basketball superstar? *sings* Your a shooting star. No matter where you are as far as the eye can see no matter who you be. Only so many witnesses in manchester high school have actually witnessed the creation and birth and sonichu and rosechu,nobody else could ever had the experience those individuals have

Wow he recovered quick,Kind of a Goku get him attitude. Too bad I was never just that too all into him. Megan WHY? and for that matter Micheal Synder WHY?

• peter laugh* Before Time travel back I got to vist the ghostbusters house *peter laugh*

Kelly I hope you are happy in your married life.

Hey Joe whaddya know haven't heard from ya in a long time. How've you been? Hope you found yourself your female sweetheart. She was a damn picky bitch whatever her name was

• beavis Heh* Hey butthead check it out. Someone left their locker open *beavis heh heh*

Lets close it for them BAM. Who wants to make love today? Oh we do. We do teacher. Alright April,Lorry,susan,simooone.

I love you Rosee. I love you too Sonee. Oh by the way you didn't think sonichu and I were just living together the whole time. We got married March 17th 2006 at angelicas church. We kept our marriage outside of the comic pages as well as our childern which we have three of. Two rosees and a sonee. As to just not prematurally miss the feel you might since the early days online. We are staying offline for a while bitches!

• sings* Everybodys trying to break my spirit,keeping me down. but the fire in my heart keeps growing! growing!

Alright springbreak. Its summer we get drunk. Woo!

We the eletric hedgehogs and everbody in the city of cwcville as a c-ville in the state of virginia stand firm and strong as proud citizens of these united states that everybody have fought so hard for the freedom

WE HAVE VAGINAS DUMBASSES!

KNOTHOLE FROM BLAMMO

Oh yeah they got married recently on july 4th 2009. Happy Independce day you lovebirds *laughs* TONIGHT

• inaudible* I'm greta Squall magironi. Keep it real rockin hard. ITS SPRING BREAK WOO!

Workin on it

And now for one final tidbit a spit of retribution. Howard De Fiend from the cult of pickle suited fiends. Divine retribution for that day you stole emily you damn watchmen.

• sings* What the hells were you thinking with that damn picklesuit