Sonichu Entertainment of America
| “ | Let's make Sonichu and Rosechu great again! | ” |
| Christian Weston Chandler for President | ||
Sonichu Entertainment of America is Chris's small business company that started on April 16th, 2016. It is pre-IPO, global entertainment and media company which will be hosted by Jazzle selling fun for the whole family. This is a step up for Chris taking advantage of his Internet fame and his original creation. Sonichu Entertainment of America is an Equal Opportunity employer. It is (by Chris's logic) an 8A woman-owned small business. Products would include the usual stuff he sells in Etsy as well as T-shirts, hats, mugs, and other products.
Reason for startup
Most people start a small business to provide services and innovation. Although Chris wants to expand his clientele, his reason was out of shear laziness due to the stresses in life. After begging a few days prior to the launch, Chris decides that it would be better to hire some henchmen to do his bidding. His other reason was to focus more on drawing the comics as well as focusing on his transition from being a Female Lesbian Soul to Full Woman Lesbian. The biggest reason of all is getting china.
Help Wanted
Chris's recruitment techniques are strange at best and creepy as hell at worse. He is looking for art professionals that could recreate his masterpieces and sell them. For the artist position, he alludes to the fact that the employee could be a
Positions and Job Descriptions
Artist
An artist would create the Amiibos and medallions. Basically, it is just an assembly worker making Sonichu crap.
Description
- Learn from Chris-chan about assembling Amiibos and medallions.
- Create potential prototypes
- Collaborate with Chris about new ideas
Qualifications
- Love and adore the adventures of Sonichu and Rosechu
- Be experienced with arts and crafts
- Eight grade reading level
- Have similar traits to Chris-chan but not in totality
Animators/Video production assistants
This position would help with creating the animated or CGI Sonichu cartoon series and hopefully not end up like the blue-armed bandit.
Description
- Create a cartoon or CGI animated Sonichu cartoon with Chris having total creative control and voices himself and Sonichu himself.
Qualifications
- Be able to make a cartoon
Romantic coordinator
A romantic coordinator is a professional matchmaker that Chris would actually pay for and trust. He is too lazy to do it because of his autism and busy.
Description
- Compete with the lesbian love market and make Chris find a sweetheart
- Create a course in women's self-defense/martial arts, dating education, and lesbian sexual positions.
- Escort Chris in certain public events
- Fight against trolls
Qualifications
- Be fit and in shape
- Be a femme fatale
Salary and benefits
- 25% of the profits.
- Exclusive access to Christian Weston Chandler himself
- Talks of collaboration
- Access to private company promotions, conventions, and company slumber parties (tbd)
- Chance of romantic encounter with the boss
Anyone interested could send a Youtube video as a video resume or send a resume to his gmail account.
If Chris wants more than 3 people, he would have no money for himself or for the capital that he needs to create more Amiibos and medallions. IF the employee is a female, then the bonus would be being Chris's sweetheart from the ground up and giving birth to Crystal.
There are so many problems with Chris's approach to recruiting new employees. It is highly unprofessional to allude to romantic advances as a suppose perk of the position. Not only would that creep out potential employees, it would also be considered sexual harassment especially with Chris's history with dating. What's surprising about all this is that Chris is opening most of the positions to men with only the romantic coordinator being a female-only position which again could bring up a sexual harassment case.
Prediction
With how his Etsy shop is doing and how most of his customers are either trolls, weens, or sick-twisted observers, there is a chance that his business would succeed if he doesn't get raped with a sexual harassment lawsuit. Unfortunately with the unusually high profit share while expecting a team of at least three people, there is no doubt that Sonichu Entertainment of America would fall face flat and would file for bankruptcy. If Chris wants to make his business successful, he should either just hire one person, lower the profit share, get rid of the romantic coordinator position, spend his capital wisely (i.e. buy one Amiibos to make Sonichu instead of two), and/or renounce all the romantic advances to prospective employees to save a buttload on lawsuits.