Difference between revisions of "Template:Article of the now"

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[[Image:Thetugboatposter.jpg|200px|right]]
[[File:Crystal.jpg|200px|right]]


The '''monthly tugboat''' is [[Chris]]'s [[CWC-isms|euphemism]] for his {{w|Social Security Disability Insurance}} (SSDI) payment, which is deposited into his bank account via direct deposit on or about the 3rd of each month. SSDI is part of a U.S. taxpayer-supported program to support financially those whose physical injures or [[Slow-in-the-minds|mental ailments]] prevent them from performing even minimum-wage work. Chris is known to have belonged to this system since at least [[2007]], before he was [[Chris in the media#Something Awful|discovered]] by the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]].
'''Crystal Weston Chandler''' is the fictional twin sister of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. Her role in his fantasy world stems from his long-held desire to have a sibling to play with along with some narcissistic pleasure and [[Tomgirl Pictures|gender identity issues]] with seeing himself as an [[Homos#Chris and transsexuality|attractive female]]. Crystal represents one of the more embarrassing facets of Chris's mind. Since his notions of the perfect girlfriend, the perfect sister, the perfect daughter, and the perfect female self so easily intersect, it is hard ''not'' to arrive at a conclusion involving [[Chris and sex#Incest|incest]].


Contrary to popular belief, Chris's check is not need-based, but is awarded on eligibility alone. Most US Americans have to work a decade to qualify. Chris, on the other hand, has only been employed for six months (three at [[Wendy's]], three in a [[Cutco|pyramid scheme]]). However, [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] earned retirement insurance in his years at General Electric, and Social Security also lets retirees' dependent disabled children get payments, even if they have never worked themselves, so long as they were disabled before turning 22. As long as Chris earns less than $1220 a month, and stays unmarried and [[Chris and the law|out of prison]], he will continue to receive his monthly tugboat unimpeded.
Crystal's origin is depicted in [[Sub-Episode 5]], where she is made manifest by Chris employing his [[anchuent powers]] and [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to split into two ([[pickle|nearly]]) identical beings. Chris and Crystal wear the same [[Chris and fashion|outfits]] and even have the same superpowers, although she lacks her brother's [[heterochromia]]. Throughout her appearances in the comics, characters are constantly noting how attractive she (and, by extension, Chris) is.


('''[[Monthly Tugboat|More...]]''')
('''[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|More...]]''')

Revision as of 13:52, 26 April 2024

Crystal.jpg

Crystal Weston Chandler is the fictional twin sister of Christian Weston Chandler. Her role in his fantasy world stems from his long-held desire to have a sibling to play with along with some narcissistic pleasure and gender identity issues with seeing himself as an attractive female. Crystal represents one of the more embarrassing facets of Chris's mind. Since his notions of the perfect girlfriend, the perfect sister, the perfect daughter, and the perfect female self so easily intersect, it is hard not to arrive at a conclusion involving incest.

Crystal's origin is depicted in Sub-Episode 5, where she is made manifest by Chris employing his anchuent powers and Heart Torch of Fail to split into two (nearly) identical beings. Chris and Crystal wear the same outfits and even have the same superpowers, although she lacks her brother's heterochromia. Throughout her appearances in the comics, characters are constantly noting how attractive she (and, by extension, Chris) is.

(More...)

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