Difference between revisions of "Template:Article of the now"

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A '''Sweetheart''' (sometimes '''heartsweet''') is [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s flavor-of-the-month. Chris's goal is to build a [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]], lose his dreaded [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] [[Mia Hamm|(which he ultimately accomplished without a sweetheart)]], and spawn his God-chosen daughter, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] (named after "[[Honor roll|the illustrious metal]]" and [[Chris and his Ego|a name similar to his own]]). Unfortunately for him, the plan hasn't progressed beyond a handful of troll-engineered dates, a trip to a hooker (two in fact), and [[Affair with Mother|having sex with his mother]]. Thus the ''sweetheart'' label finds itself frivolously applied, indicating a status that lies somewhere between "e-girlfriend" and "stalking victim." Contrast this with Chris's [[Gal-Pals]]; that is, all of those girls who are still potential sweethearts because they are known to Chris and don't appear to hate him.
'''Crystal Weston Chandler''' is the fictional twin sister of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. Her role in his fantasy world stems from his long-held desire to have a sibling to play with along with some narcissistic pleasure and [[Tomgirl Pictures|gender identity issues]] with seeing himself as an [[Homos#Chris and transsexuality|attractive female]]. Crystal represents one of the more embarrassing facets of Chris's mind. Since his notions of the perfect girlfriend, the perfect sister, the perfect daughter, and the perfect female self so easily intersect, it is hard ''not'' to arrive at a conclusion involving [[Chris and sex#Incest|incest]].


Chris's ideal vision for a sweetheart is more or less one that allowed him to continue living as a "self-employed" stay-at-home husband/father/son, since he didn't make a significant effort to support a prospective family at any point during his [[Love Quest]] aside from briefly applying for a minimum-wage job for [[Kacey]]. Based on [[Chris and work|his frustration at the idea of doing any work whatsoever]], it's likely that he wanted someone to effectively mother him rather than an equal partner, who he could also have sex with and impregnate with [[Crystal Weston Chandler|a kid]] [[Reginald Chandler|or two]]. Chris also seemed to be under the impression that they'd live with his parents [[14 Branchland Court|and their hoard]], who he'd presumably leave his sweetheart-to-be to raise his kids with.
Crystal's origin is depicted in [[Sub-Episode 5]], where she is made manifest by Chris employing his [[anchuent powers]] and [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to split into two ([[pickle|nearly]]) identical beings. Chris and Crystal wear the same [[Chris and fashion|outfits]] and even have the same superpowers, although she lacks her brother's [[heterochromia]]. Throughout her appearances in the comics, characters are constantly noting how attractive she (and, by extension, Chris) is.


('''[[Sweetheart|More...]]''')
('''[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|More...]]''')

Revision as of 13:52, 26 April 2024

Crystal.jpg

Crystal Weston Chandler is the fictional twin sister of Christian Weston Chandler. Her role in his fantasy world stems from his long-held desire to have a sibling to play with along with some narcissistic pleasure and gender identity issues with seeing himself as an attractive female. Crystal represents one of the more embarrassing facets of Chris's mind. Since his notions of the perfect girlfriend, the perfect sister, the perfect daughter, and the perfect female self so easily intersect, it is hard not to arrive at a conclusion involving incest.

Crystal's origin is depicted in Sub-Episode 5, where she is made manifest by Chris employing his anchuent powers and Heart Torch of Fail to split into two (nearly) identical beings. Chris and Crystal wear the same outfits and even have the same superpowers, although she lacks her brother's heterochromia. Throughout her appearances in the comics, characters are constantly noting how attractive she (and, by extension, Chris) is.

(More...)

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