User:Beat

Americunt: This user is an Americunt and refuses to use unnecessary vowels. Uncle Sam would be proud! Christian This user is a Christian and has accepted GodJesus as his/her savior. JERK This user is a JERK and takes away all the girls. Operation Mailbag This user contributed to the Mailbag and had their e-mail answered by Chris. CWChronology Iron Cross Thank u for ur great help towards the obsessive chronological documentation of Chris-Chan's life! :3 Transcriber This user transcribes videos, and has no doubt become insane from regular exposure to Chris's fail. Asperpedia Regular This user is a regular contributor to Asperpedia. STRAIGHT This user is STRAIGHT. and likes dykes & china. Unlike Chris, they don't mind da homos. Kitty This user thinks Kitty is the best Chandler cat! :3 HEXBox This user is the proud owner of a HEXBox. Chris does not approve.

I am Beat. I TRANSCRIBE BITCHES.

My to do list

I'm gonna reformat every transcript with a conversation EVER.

Even when it's Chris talking to himself.

Especially when it's Chris talking to himself. The videobooks are nigh-on incomprehensible.

Sandbox

Stuff I did

Uhhhh...

• I think I kicked off Chris and Remorse. Too bad it kinda sucks.
• I remember writing most of Death threats when it was created. Didn't start the page though.
• I'm pretty sure I did a lot of work on the early version of Chris and English. That said, Speech impediment and Chris and writing kind of make it redundant.
• I wrote some nonsense for Chris and music, mostly just "GRRR CHRIS SUCKS AT RAP".
• A list of famous people who sent Chris letters.
• I wrote the fist draft of the main Asperchu article.
• America, Fuck yeah.

My letters to Chris

• The Man who was Thursday, on literature.
• The Screwtape Letters, on making people do stuff.
• Milton Bradley, on Asperchu, deleted because Chris hates Asperchu.
• G.K. Chesterton, on blasphemy, deleted because I didn't approach the topic gently enough.

6 June 2010

Just... wow. Of all the times I've said "God dammit Chris" this one's probably the worst.

I'm not PVCC (Note to self, figure out IRC, get in touch with Cogs, ask nicely), so I don't know If anything's going on behind the scenes here, but as far as I know this is Chris when he doesn't have a bunch of people distracting him with demands for new comics or mailbag questions or e-mails from supposed girls. It would seem that when Chris is left completely to his own devices, he does some seriously fucked up shit. I'm sure lots of you figured out the pattern ages ago, but now that I'm sitting here thinking about it, it's all starting to make a strange sort of sense. A lot of the really insane things he did took place before his mainstream internet discovery, such as his attraction signs, the news dash, PVCC banning, sub-episodes, mall arrests, and so on.

When the trolls came into the picture it changed things, as Chris's life was split between playing with toys and video games and dealing with internet malcontents. Still, we get occasional examples of it in troll efforts that had an element of subtlety. Vivian Gee's Aim Chat is a good example of this, as are the ABL phone calls, as Alec makes a genuine effort to appear reasonable (As far as a dispute about Pokemon OCs can go anyway) and Chris still comes off as a raving Lunatic. Jackie's almost a better example, as (while obviously a troll to us) she presented herself to Chris as though she was the genuine article in every way possible. Chris's response was to bitch about how Megan should have made out with him and Scream "Jew" at Michale Snyder. While many white knights have argued that Chris only acts up because of troll influence, many recent trolls got Chris to completely lose his shit by acting like normal people who were engaged in cordial communication with Chris for one reason or another.

Currently Chris has no website, isn't checking his e-mail, and is only signing into youtube to tell us how he doesn't need the internet. His incentive to be online is much lower than it was in say, late 2009, and suddenly he's sneaking back to the game place with a camera to take photos of people he hates.

We all know Chris is both weak and cowardly, and I don't think he's going to kill or rape anybody, but I don't think anybody expected shit to go that far that fast.