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==MOAR OBSERVATIONS AND SHIT==
 
Chris has no concept of gender roles.  Period.  It's at it's most obvious within the High School story, where "Terrah Yowman" is somehow considered a lesbian because she hangs out with guys, but it's in the comic as well.
 
First off, Chris refers to himself as Chris-chan because he thinks it sounds manly and badass--like Jackie Chan.  Problem is, he's somehow able to watch anime and not pick up on how it's a feminine suffix(yes I know there's more detail to it than that).  It could be that he prefers dubs over subs and never caught up to it.  He's also unaware of how his character needing to be saved all the time, usually by women, makes him look weak because he sees men saving women all the time and the women never catch flak for it.
 
Also, why the hell is he buying DVDs for anime in general when anyone with a brain knows that you can watch it for free online?
 
'''Recent videos'''
 
Ever since he "left the internet forever" last Sunday, I think he's trying to follow a new pattern.  His rant about the stupid Family Guy spinoff and abstinence seem to be just thoughts he had and not out and out rants against us.  Problem is, he's unaware of how far "don't give us reactions" goes and thinks that he can just passively mention Mao and Heather.
 
'''Oh god'''
 
I just remembered something--Chris may have made Rule 34 of himself and other sweethearts that we don't know about.  He does, after all, seem to have the sense to know that putting it on the internet is a bad idea.  The incident with ED makes sense in this light.  Here's his logic.
 
*ED made that page about me
*I uploaded that image I drew to protest.
*Megan was mad at me because I uploaded the image to ED.
*If ED hadn't made that page, I wouldn't have had to upload that image.
*Therefore, the blame rests with ED and Jason.
 
Ivy is an exception--she asked for it, so Chris was okay with it.  Chris is also a notorious liar--he may have been planning to make some of him and Julie(she was supposed to be in Episode 19), but Bluespike suggested Kimmi and Chris was happy, as that involved less work on his part.  And Kacey did nothing but bitch at him, so he may have hidden any porn he made of her.  He hasn't uploaded it because he knows that "Upload risque imagery=Girl leaves me"(though he can't comprehend the exact reasons).
 
This is also disturbing in another sense--has he drawn Rule 34 on other characters?  Specifically underage ones?  He knows that he's not supposed to upload them.  Underage Rule 34 isn't legally considered CP, but Chris doesn't know that.  This is why he had a "WHAT THE HELL?" moment when we bombed him with Sonee porn.
 
Now that I think of it, those are the moments I live for.  Chris is the guy that makes everyone go "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU" without fail, it's nice to see him giving the exact same reaction.
 
'''I don't understand the question'''
 
I think this is the result of Chris trying to bail out using his autism--he's demonstrated that he's aware of what he can blame on autism(he blamed not moving out of his house on the autistic "fear of change").  One other trait of autism is that an autistic may have a different definition of something as opposed to the normal crowd--for example, to Chris and the rest of mankind, "wife" means different things.
 
In a normal case, "I didn't understand the question" is a viable excuse when the autistic fails to pick up on something that was thought to be implicit in the question.  When I was in seventh grade, I was annoyed that I lost points on a test because I didn't show my work--after all, the question didn't tell me to do it!  Problem is, Chris can't understand context.  To him, it's another set of magic words that will absolve him of all blame.
 
Still, Chris does possess the capacity to twist his words around--note that when he lies to Kacey about jogging five miles a day, he states that he ''could'' do five miles.  When asked to kill Simonla, he did just that--then killed the Asperpals in retaliation and introduce Sandy.  He then argued that Evan got what he wanted and told him to shut up. 
 
Any attempt to make demands of Chris should follow monkey paw rules--assume that he will do what you tell him to, but he'll put a twist on it that will make you regret it.  Therefore, you've got to give him a list of requirements(he'll probably ignore most of them but it's worth a shot).
 
A list for rewriting the trial scene would be
*Do not kill us offscreen
*Do not bring Simonla back and keep Sandy
*Do not just kill us in different ways
*Do not throw us in prison and leave someone else to maul us
 
 
==MOAR INSANITY==
 
If there's a zombie attack, should one of us go to Ruckersville and save Chris?
 
I guess it depends on the kind of zombies--are we dealing with the ZSG slow/headshot zombies, the Dead Rising slow/anywhere zombies, the Dawn of the Dead fast/headshot zombies, or the Left 4 Dead fast/anywhere zombies(with or without special infected)?
 
No, wait, Chris is fucked in all of those scenarios.  He's fucked with the fast zombies because so is everyone else.  He's fucked with slow zombies because he'll whine about the stress of having to power walk to safety.  And for L4D?  If he somehow manages to find a group of survivors, he'll get them all killed when he tries to have sex with the Witch.
 
So don't save Chris when the world ends.
 
Oh dear GOD, what if we lived in an alternate universe where everyone involved in trolling Chris had their genders flipped, including Chris himself...well, she'd be slightly more difficult to troll because Chris is pretty damn feminine to begin with.
 
'''Wait a minute'''
 
Chris sends Magi-chan to the future to secure the anti-gay.  In the future, they are trying to wipe something out.
 
Wait a minute.  What if the scientists are actually trying to eliminate the anti-gay Chris put in the water in the past?
 
They needed present Chris's blood because he is in fact gay--the gay gene was within him because he was from a time when homosexuals weren't dead.  His future self was made straight by the anti-gay someone else (possibly future Chris) had planted and thus could not assist.  Thus, the scientists are heroes who are undoing the evil Chris committed in the present from the future.
 
His insistence that he went to an "alternate universe" or whatever is just what they tricked him into thinking so he'd give up his blood.
 
Also, the two syringes are actually worthless--destroying the Black Sonichu medal was the secret to killing Gay Chris, the "vaccine" Chris had was actually a solution that would destroy the medal and the extra is in case he falls into another void.
 
==MOAR IDEAS==
 
Here's a list of articles that ought to be highlighted on the 31st.
 
*Snorlax(This ought to be the AOTN)
*Bob
*Chris and Religion
*Megan
*Homos
*SheCameForCWC.jpg
*Chris and Sex
*Chris and his Ego
*Chris and Hypocrisy
*Chris and Copyright
*Chris and Remorse
*Chris and Reality
*Death Threats
 
Come to think of it, the Did You Know section ought to link to every one of the articles that aren't AOTN.
 
Also, when Chris fails to follow through on his threats, make sure that the "WILL be trouble" counter will go into the negatives or become "It has been x days since Chris failed to follow through on his empty, weak threat".
 
Also, we need a plan to separate Chris from his copyright.  Who wants to copyright ownership of Rosechu, or Christian Weston Chandler(comic character)?  Hell, that ought to be funny, us taking up a copyright registration on Chris's self-insert.

Latest revision as of 14:58, 19 July 2010

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