User:Thepicklesuitintheman

I know I'm a tremendous faggot, but hear me out.

I'm going to be adding shit here every once in a while, maybe. I don't fucking know. I've got some shit I want to say about Chris that I don't know if anyone'll ever care about, but I think is important. I've gone through a lot of shit Chris has except I don't totally suck.

I'm "HFA." I was diagnosed when I was 15. I've been living with my parents for too fucking long. I lost my virginity about three weeks before I turned 28. I'm working with government and non-profit programs right now to do shit like get a job and move out. Shit's not easy. I've had to learn a lot. I've had to confront a lot of shit.

I have some marked advantages over Chris. I'm introspective as shit and at least somewhat nearly intellectually honest, so I can generally figure out what I did wrong in a situation after it happens. I daresay I'm more intelligent than he is. I have siblings. I'm also somewhat ripped, but that's beside the point. I just mean I've gone through some of what Chris has and succeeded. Maybe more people here than just me here have, I dunno.

I realize I'm probably not going to change m/any minds, but it's interesting to me to try to get what's the HONEST TRUTH out there.

Random anecdotes from my idiotic, HFA youth the motivations of which I think explain at least some of Chris's behavior

When I was like 6, my dad quit his job as a cop and went back to school to be a computer technician. He graduated when I was like 9. An ice cream company where I lived didn't hire him, so we had to move. The first day of class in my new school, the teacher, without warning me, without asking me, without giving me a second's preparation, told everyone in the class to turn around and look at me while I told them about myself. I totally froze up. I couldn't even answer the questions she asked me. It wasn't my first or last experience with selective mutism, but it was my most memorable. One kid started making fun of me immediately after that. For the last few weeks of that school year and like half of the next, my HFA ass tried and failed to make any friends by annoying people with shit they didn't care about, which got me nowhere.

Moral: I blamed and hated the ice cream company and the kid for a long time. I venerated the town where I used to live for a long time, like if we hadn't moved from there, my life would've been great. I think Chris demonstrates an extreme version of this.

Chris really isn't all that remarkable.

Really, the only interesting thing about Chris is that he talks so fucking much on the Internet. You ever see Alien Resurrection? You remember the part where Ripley's clone is in the lab where she was grown and there are all the malformed, failed clones? You remember that one room of kids who all sat at the same table at lunch in high school? Yeah. Chris. Everywhere.

No one trolls Chris better than Chris, the truth hurts, give him enough rope and he'll hang himself, and some other such platitudes.

Some of the people on here seem to be impelled to make shit up about him. "Oh, he's gay, he's a pedophile, he's a sociopath." He's not. It's obvious that he's not. All of his behavior makes sense within the context of his autism, his isolate social life, his confusion, his stubbornness, his desperation, and his frustration. He has all this pent-up desire to connect with other people, but he has no idea what to say or how to say it. It's like trying to build a robot. There's a million wrong ways to build a robot and only a few right ways. There's a million wrong things to say or do in a social situation and only a few right ones.

I'm not saying people shouldn't say this shit to him or about him. One of the things he doesn't fucking get and one of the things that makes this actually funny and interesting is that virtually no one actually believes it because it's the Internet. The only thing people are going to judge him for are his bizarre fucking reactions. People give each other shit all the time and he's not special. But if you look in the Speculation, people sure sound like they believe it. "Don't believe the hype" is all I'm saying, I guess.

You're cooler than Chris and always will be

I think autism--Asperger's, HFA, whatever--is overdiagnosed. If you can work, if you can have friends, if you can get married, if you have a little difficulty when you're 9-23 but then things start to work out, I don't think... I mean... there's the theorized "broader autism phenotype". Frankly, "autism" has been kind of a buzzword for a while and I think a lot of psychiatrists were a little trigger happy when it comes to this shit. You don't have it. Your idiot friends don't have it. You're just fags. You just need to sit up straight, stop smoking so much pot, put down the 360 controller and talk to some girls. It's not easy. You're going to fuck up a few times, but eventually you'll find a slightly overweight girl with glasses who likes comics, too, and who's awkward about fucking, too. Eventually, you'll turn 30 and find yourself in middle management somewhere and crap out a couple kids.

Chris shits his pants and then tells openly antagonistic strangers about it.

Don't let the H and the F fool you as easily as it's fooled him: even though he can speak and he's not, in a medical sense, retarded, Chris will never lead a normal life. He will never and shouldn't be expected to stop drawing Sonichu or wasting his time on some such other stupid bullshit. He will never and should never be expected to live independently. He will never and should never be expected to be in a typical romantic relationship. He will never and should never be expected to hold a normal, adult conversation. It's just as stupid to hold him to these tasks as it is for him to try them in large part because they detract and distract from what little he can do. He can and should stay the fuck off the Internet forever. He can and should live in a group home. He can and should start a work program.

And he can and should be attacked and trolled and maligned and laughed at and given no quarter, don't get me wrong. But he should be all that not for not doing everything a slightly fucked up person should do but for not doing anything he can. Plus, it's hard for him as the fuck-up to initiate his own process. If he wouldn't fuck it up, he wouldn't need it. If this'll all ever amount to more than just a group of social retards getting each other off by ganging up on the one retard more retarded than them, somehow trolling might have some kind of positive impact on him in any way whatsoever or that he might learn a God-damned thing from experience. I know that's asking a lot. I know things don't really work that way. I know that's kind of a pipe dream. But God damn it, this is America.

Shit I think people should avoid

• Believing the hype

As above, y'know... whatever. Say whatever you want. It's a free country. If your friend's the first one to pass out, fine, write "I LOVE COCKS" and "INSERT PENIS HERE" with an arrow pointing to his mouth on his face in magic marker. Just don't turn around 360º and suddenly go "OH HE MUST REALLY LOVE COCKS LOOK WHAT'S ON HIS FACE WHAT A FAGGOT LOL."

What Chris can succeed in doing in the foreseeable future

• Working

Despite what his parents have inexplicably trolled him into thinking, Chris can, as of this writing, earn up to $1,000 a month without losing his Social Security benefits. He obviously needs to work somewhere where he has no fucking contact with the public at large and he will make the people around him uncomfortable, regardless, but I've worked in these kind of make-work packaging/manufacturing places with parolees, immigrants, retards and shit. One time I watched this guy all day drawing on a table. I went over there and looked at it and it was this retarded, like, Iron Maiden fantasy bullshit an 11-year-old would draw in 1985 of, like, a human head with cats eyes and fangs and under it it said "MY DEMON" in all caps, just like that. This shit is not uncommon. Chris's shit is not uncommon.

He had difficulty being corralled at PVCC, but I think with fellow retards and something he can actually do where he's not expected to give input like a functioning adult member of society, he might be okay.

What Chris'll need to do after his parents die

• Get living assistance somehow.

I volunteer at an assisted living facility. Not everyone is old. A lot of people are deaf-mutes. Some people are just injured. I don't see a lot of retards, but who knows?

It doesn't have to be a live-in place; there are just services, I'm saying.

Chris probably doesn't have any major mental health issues other than the autism.

Chris is many things. Chris is severly, though "high-functionally," autistic. Chris is lazy. Chris is ignorant. Chris is a coward. Chris is childish. Chris is desperate. Chris is functionally incapable of thinking critically about his own situation. Chris is surrounded by assholes who doubtlessly just want him out of their hair.

Chris obviously has some very strange ideas about the world and how it works, but (to be continued...)

If you give a shit about anything, go to an autism/Asperger's support group.

I went to another one of these useless pieces of shit the other day. It only reinforced my beliefs that:

1) The vast majority of HFAs are useless people with no sense of their place in the world and only want to suck each other off for being fuck-ups, and 2) There are a lot of Chrises out there.

So go. They're not going to check your papers. You don't have to say anything. Half the other people there won't be either. Good on you if you get up in the middle of one of their pretentious speeches about how no one but autistics can save the world because Einstein didn't like to wear socks and go, "NEUROTYPICAL'S A NEUROLOGICAL CONDITION TOO FUCK Y'ALL" and flip the bird, though.