Difference between revisions of "Jackie e-mails Part 3"

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{{quoteboxred|Jackie
#REDIRECT [[Jackie E-mails 2]]
April 13, 2010 - 7:04pm
Hi, Chris!
 
I actually never was a cheerleader, I love playing football, though. I was never on a school team but I was a better player than half my school team in high school.
 
So, if you have no problem with jews, why were you talking about them? You screamed "JEW" at him like an insult, you didn't address that even though I asked you why you did it in my last email. You can't just say "I have no problem with jews" when your actions show you obviously do, Chris. Don't lie to me. It's not manly to lie to a woman you're trying to court, Chris. You made a lot of talk about acting like a big man and standing up for your rights here, but once you face a little bit of resistence, you run away. So now you're not even going to try again? What did you think was going to happen, you'd win with absolutely no effort? What do you think a "sit-in" is? And you're in the right anyway, why would the police arrest you? I'm disappointed Chris, I think you need to go back and man up to your problem.
 
And what does it matter anyway if this Michael Snyder has criminal records or whatever like you speculate? What would that have to do with him keeping you out of the store? You shouldn't try to deflect the matter by smearing him, Chris. All you know about this guy is that he doesn't want you in the store, by your own admission you don't even know why. You don't know that he's a criminal. Instead of ask, you just assume again.
 
So why do you get social security? How much do you get each month? I thought you were getting sonichu published, but you only work on it a couple hours each day? What else do you do with your time? If you're getting paid by the government, you really should be trying to get on your feet, Chris. I heard about that new Wal-Mart, and it's good that you want to get a job, but why are you so set on applying there? It won't even be open for a few months, at least. There are plenty of stores and places that have jobs available now, why wait for Wal-Mart? I want a man who can take care of himself, Chris.
 
And Chris, why are you talking about some girl that you "should have been making out with" when you're writing to ME? That doesn't really make me feel too special. Are you still hung up on some other girl? Wasn't this YEARS ago? I really wish you would make up your mind, sweetie. I'm trying to make this work with you, but honestly you're making me worry about this racism and other stuff. Please quell my fears, Chris, because I really like you and want this to work.
 
XOXOXO
 
Jackie}}
 
 
{{quoteboxred|Chris
April 13, 2010 - 11:17pm
And I am sorry about that statement on Megan.  That was years ago, and I have move on from her.  I did not mean to sound hung up.  Sometimes when I am recollecting on a hard time in my life, I am likely to feel again the emotions I felt back then, but those temporary relived emotions do not last long, and they mostly are not coherent with today. In this case, it was Definitely not coherent.
As for that "Jew" shout, I was feeling frustrated that I was not getting through with that man, and on the way out, I just shouted the first word that I had linked to him on my mind.  It was a bad impulse, that is all.  I assure you, I am not a racist or anything like that.
The only hang-up I have, which is not a major one these days, is that I don't get along well with other MEN in general.  All of my life, I have been getting along better with women.  That hang-up is why I don't have many dude-pals.  Most of it comes from my homophobia, and the rest comes from my past detest of men due to them being A) Mostly Mean, Cruel and Vicious, and B) Having taken all of the pretty women leaving me with none to choose from in my Sweetheart Search.  I have tried making a few dude-pals in my church congregation, but that mental hang-up, mixed with my autism, prevents me from talking to them more.
Currently, I am getting 800 a month from S.S.I.  And I AM working on self-publishing my books with Lulu; I have found on the site in the start of the project creation that it will cost me a bit to get it started.  I will get it started.  I am also working on resizing the pages to the appropriate page size.  I have applied to a number of places in C-Ville; they never call me back for even an interview.  I've applied to the C-Ville Wal-Mart, Target, McDonalds, Burger King, Barnes & Nobel and others.  I am also applying to the new Goodwill in Ruckersville for a chance there.  It is like I am being forced to wait.
I Really Like you too, Jacklyn.  I can't stop thinking of you, and I do not want it to stop.  I want you by my side, true love between you and I; I really want this romance to work very much too.  You brighten up my life; you are a wind that renews me emotionally; you turn me on soo much, my wind-up key broke off.  I want no fears between you and I; I want us to be a match made in heaven; I want you so much, Jackie.  I Love You.
Stay Safe.  XOXOXOXO
Christian.
P.S.
Just to check, are we going to meet at Fashion Square or the Downtown Mall Friday at 4?}}
 
 
{{quoteboxred|Jackie
April 14, 2010 - 6:24pm
Well, thank you for clearing that up, sweetie. I want to be the only girl in my guy's life. :)
 
But Chris, like I said, I have several friends that have published things on Lulu and other places, it's not that hard and it certainly doesn't take much time. You could spend an evening doing it and be done with it. I don't understand why you haven't been able to get this comic published, I mean, you've been writing it for years, and the farthest you've gotten with that is your website. And you quit updating on your site too, even though that's the one thing you've been using to build your comic, so that doesn't show that you have a whole lot of work ethic. Chris, I need to be with someone who has a stable career and goals. It's good that you're applying for jobs, but I really am having a hard time understanding why you don't use your CADD degree in getting a job. I mean, there are a lot of places out there that have use for graphic designers and that sort of thing.
 
XOXO,
 
Jackie}}
 
 
{{quotebox|Chris
April 14, 2010 - 10:15pm
Don't worry, Sweetie, I promise you that I will have the First Book published before this month is over, and I am capable of maintaining a strong work ethnic.
What is important right now is you and me.  We are in sweet agreement with each other.  I want to be your one and only too.  I will meet you at Fashion Square by the Starbucks Kiosk Friday at 4:00; I will show you a pleasant and good time.  :)
I will see you then; please don't be late.
XOXOXOXO,
Stay Safe,
Christian.}}
 
 
{{quoteboxred|Jackie
April 15, 2010 - 7:39pm
Hey, Chris!
 
We're still on for Friday, can't wait to see you!
 
Yeah, you say you have a strong work ethic, but... you haven't done much. Chris, 2 or 3 hours of day of drawing is not enough, Chris. Most people have to work 8 or more hours a day, but you're getting free money from the government to draw comics. That's pretty good deal, Chris. You should be working to earn that. Why exactly do you get that social security pay anyway?
 
But I don't want to rail on that... There's something else I want you to do for me. Remember when you told me about how confident you were in your sexual abilities? Well, I'm curious how you would treat a lady, you know... orally. What sort of techniques would you use? Would you get right down in me? Show me, I need to see. I've been thinking about you a lot lately, and I was wondering if you could make a video showing me a little preview. I have a date with the bubble bath tonight and I'd really love to settle down and enjoy a movie trailer of our first time together.
 
I hope I have your video before bedtime tonight,
 
~ ~ Jackie ~ ~}}
 
 
{{quotebox|Chris
April 16, 2010 - 8:32am
Ooh, I'm sorry I didn't get the request sooner; I was busy, and I hit the hay around midnight.  But orally, I would come right down on you.  I would lick your pussy like it was an ice cream cone; I would give you some finger-play too.  With that, I'll let it be a pleasant surprise that we can place at the apex of our date tonight.  ;)
I'll see you at the mall's Starbucks Kiosk this afternoon.  The sweet things come to patient ladies.
Call me on my cell if you have any concerns (434)-760-0848
Love You, Jackie.
Christian.}}
 
 
{{quoteboxred|Jackie
April 16, 2010 - 6:02pm
Chris, where were you? I waited for an hour but you never showed up!
 
And, you know, just because I'm a little kinky in our emails doesn't mean that we were going to sleep together on our first date. What kind of girl do you think I am?
 
Where were you? I was all alone...
 
Jackie}}
 
 
{{quotebox|Chris
April 16, 2010 - 6:20pm
I should be asking you where you were; I arrived at Fashion Square at 3:30 PM, parked in one of the two Belk parking lots, and waited at a table at the Starbucks Kiosk in the Middle of the Mall.  I waited an hour for you.  Perhaps there was a misunderstanding in communication.  I gave you my cell phone number; I was also hoping you'd call me to at least let me know where you were.
I think of you as a very sweet, honest and playful woman.
Please call me on my cell, so we can better establish communication and reset the date.  I am sorry you felt lonely; I felt lonely too.
My heart still yearns for you, Sweetie.
XOXOXOXO
Christian}}
 
 
{{quotebox|Chris
April 17, 2010 - 4:25am
I was praying that I'd hear back from you last night; I feel a bit crestfallen from not getting a call from you.  I gave you my cell phone number three times now (434-760-0848).  I still would like that date with you; perhaps this afternoon we can have another swing at bat on this.
Let's make sure we're clear this time: Today, the 17th; Fashion Square Shopping Center; at the Starbucks Kiosk in the middle at a table in front of the kiosk; 4:00 PM.
If I do not hear back from you on my phone before 2:00 PM, we will reschedule the date for another week.
I'll TTYL.
XOXOXO
Christian.}}
 
 
{{quoteboxred|Jackie
April 17, 2010 - 8:00pm
Hey, Chris.
 
Sorry, I haven't been able to call you. I have a pay-as-you-go phone and can only use it for emergencies (my parents would kill me if I used it). I have some family stuff to do today as well as homework, I wouldn't have been able to meet today anyway. Don't worry, we can set it up for next weekend or something. But before I see you, I'd love to see that video I requested... tonight, if you get this soon enough. :)
 
Although I'll admit, I was disappointed when you didn't make it for me. It wouldn't be such a big deal, but Chris, you don't really seem to work on your comic, or anything else, either... I'm starting to see a scary pattern here. I need you to show me some evidence that you actually WANT me, Chris. Because so far you don't seem to want much of anything. I want a man with ambition, Chris. You know just where to start showing me :')
 
Waiting to hear from you,
 
~ ~ Jackie}}
 
 
{{quotebox|Chris
April 18, 2010 - 2:32am
I am most capable of coming to you.  So I'm thinking you can fill me in on where in [[censored]] I can find you: the address there, and I'll come to you this week.  Or I will also accept the address of your C-Ville home, and I'll come to you there next weekend.
Also, as much as I'd like to make a sexy video for your viewing pleasure, I can't, because it would put YOUR Safety from my Trolls at risk.  I have made similar videos in the past for a few of my ex-online-girlfriends.  I had uploaded them onto a Mega Upload site, thinking it would be safe, and only She would see them.  Alas, I was WRONG.  My trolls Found them; my PC has been bugged sometime in the past, so it is likely my PC's online-linked actions, such as uploading, are being watched.  I care about you too much to risk your safety.
With that, I can refer you to ONE Troll Site, dedicated to me, where tose mistakes were recorded, and sme to all of those vids may be displayed.  I still regret embarassing myself like I did, originally for One; fated to Most...  Google "CWCki", and find the past girlfriends.  I warn you, the language is obscene, and they warp the truth and add exaggerated lies, yet there lies within some truth I would confide admittance and clearification to you, Sweetest Jackie.
I do not want to lose you, and I really and Truly Want and Love You, Jacklyn [[censored]].
Love,
Christian.}}
 
 
{{quotebox|Jackie
April 18, 2010 - 5:48pm
Hey, chris.
 
Besides, my weekdays are extremely hectic, I just wouldn't have the time to see you during the week.
 
So, I am reading up about these past girlfriends of yours on that cwcki site. What exactly is it that you wanted me to see? Because I'm reading a lot of things I don't like. Like, you had this Australian girlfriend named "PandaHalo", the site says that she was raped by someone, and you promised that you would always love her regardless, but like two days later you heard there were fires in Australia, and you just assumed this girl was dead? And you didn't even check to see if she was or not, you just jumped immediately to some other girl. What would happen if I got hurt? Would you just jump to the next girl you saw, without caring about me at all? And then there was another girl named Ivy, who you cheated on??
 
And that Panda girl, the article says something else that worries me: it says that she promised to come to you if you were willing to prove that you could make your comic a success, but you refused to do it, and just let her go. Are these all lies like you say, Chris? Because I'VE been trying to get you to show me that you actually WORK on something or have some kind of drive, but you don't show me anything, either. So which part of that website is lies and which is true? How am I to know?
 
Chris, I'm starting to have second thoughts about this whole thing. I ask you to send me a video - not upload one to youtube, just send it to me - and you won't do it. I ask you to prove to me that you actually spend your day working on something, and you won't do it. I like talking to you, Chris, and I would still like to meet you, but right now I'm starting to doubt the attraction. Maybe we should start off as friends and see where it goes. What do you think about that?
 
~ ~ Jackie ~ ~}}
 
 
{{quoteboxred|Jackie
April 18, 2010 - 7:37pm
Chris, they're not lies. You're lying to me right now! Why do you not think I'd discover the truth? You DID cheat on Ivy. Don't you ever try and lie to me about anything on that site. I know you're lying about the Ivy thing because I'm sitting here watching a video where you apologize for it. Who was Vanessa? The cwcki says you had cyber-sex with her or something while you were professing your "love" for Ivy. There are tons of videos of yours on that site. Don't you dare lie to me about anything on that site. A lot of things they say come right from stuff you yourself say and do in videos YOU make. They can't fake that. And they say that you went to a girl named Julie after only a day or something after Panda died, all around January 2009. I mean, you say how much you love Panda in a video in late January and you start promising your heart to Julie in the beginning of February, that's hardly "loong over a month". Did you really care about any of these girls at all?
 
And another thing, I asked you to give me a reason why you are on social security (a strong 28-year-old man in the prime of his life should be able to work) and you just avoid the question. You say that it's hard for you to find a job, even when you apply lots of places - and that's understandable, it's difficult for a lot of people to get jobs these days. But come on, you live at home with your parents. Being unemployed doesn't explain being on welfare. How long have you been on welfare? Why does a strong, smart, capable man need welfare?
 
As for the video, those are all excuses. You could upload a video to a secure site like mediafire and just send me the link, no one would know about it. You keep bugging me to call you but when I ask you to do something you just make excuses. Don't make excuses to me, Chris. If you actually want this to work, then PROVE it. Stop telling me why you can't do things and DO something.
 
Jackie}}
 
 
{{quotebox|Chris
April 18, 2010 - 6:20pm
 
Firstly, what you're describing from what you've read from the CWCki are among the false portions; their lies.  PandaHalo was Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, the raped woman I have told you about earlier.  After learning of the bushfires, I had assumed the worst.  I tried contacting her by e-mail, but she had not responded in weeks.  I did not "immediately jump to another woman"; I had wept and cried over the loss of Sarah for weeks before I could move forward.  I would be totally depressed if you died, Jackie, I WOULD CRY AND CRY AND CRY, and it would take me loong over a month to feel I could move on with my life again.
As for Ivy, I did not cheat on her.  She and I did have our own romance for a while, but later on, my father and I met with a Charlottesville Detective.  He found NO records on Ivy OR her family, and her father was supposedly a Police Officer.  Then I started suspecting she was a troll, and I stopped communication for like three months.  Then she calls me back to try to restart the relationship; I hesitated and felt unsure.  I later learned she committed suicide by hanging herself.  I cried for her too.  I never have cheated on Ivy; that is a lie they made up.
I am starting work on clarifying and sorting out the truths and lies from those pages and posting the True stories in my own honest words.
I can not send you a video for A) the troll risk, and B) There is a Size Limit on my E-Mail account, and a video would be way too big.  And I assure you, I am very ambitious and serious about our relationship.  I do not want there to be ANY Doubts between us.  Please believe me.  I get a ton of mental stress worrying about your safety, trying to keep our relationship strong, and making sure I don't lose you.  For you, I am most capable of coping with these and a lot more.  I Love You, Jacklyn, and I do not want to lose you.
XOXOXOXO
Christian.}}
 
 
{{quotebox|Chris
April 19, 2010 - 10:37pm
I apologize for bringing up excuses, and I was wrong about that cheating thing with Ivy; I had forgotten that portion.  I was IMing
with a "Vanessa Hudgens" for a new while (I had talked with "her" before).  "She" was trying to rile me up with heavy flirting and sexual lines.  I held my ground for a long time, for Ivy's sake.  I caved in one time.  And I later made that video admitting that wrong and apologizing to Ivy for it.
Another sad fact, "Vanessa" turned out to be really Joshua Martinez, an ex-friend of mine.  I am still angry at him for deceiving me like that pretending to be the famous singer/actress.
It was a shot in my own foot leading you to the CWCki; I really do not want there to be any doubt or such between you and me.  I felt I had to show you what had happened to me before when I shared such sexual vids upon request from each of my exes.  I had not heard of Mediafire, so I have just recorded a video; half with the apology I just described, and half of a brief description on how I would pleasure you orally.  ;)
http://www.mediafire.com/?yz1jk3omwj5
http://www.mediafire.com/file/yz1jk3omwj5/For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV
Please let me know when you have successfully downloaded the file to your computer, then I will remove it from the Mediafire server for safety reasons.  I pray that I do not hear of this video being on any Troll Site.
And with all this, I would very much like to start over on our lovey emotions and all.  I Love You, Jacklyn [[censored]].  :-*
XOXOXOXO
Stay Safe,
Christian.}}
 
 
{{quoteboxred|Jackie
April 20, 2010 - 2:30 pm
Wow, Chris, I don't really know what to say.
 
So, your explanation for why you cheated on Ivy was because another girl was hitting on you? You loved Ivy, but another girl came onto you, and that's all it took? What if we're together and another girl comes onto you one day? Are you just going to cheat on me, too? You say you "resisted as long as you could", but you didn't resist at all, really. If you had resisted you could have told her to leave you alone or blocked her or something. Why was the temptation so great, anyway? Every time I have had a boyfriend, I've been hit on by cute guys. But I never had the urge to cheat on my boyfriend, because our relationship was way more important than just fucking some random hot guy. Did you not care about your relationship with her, or what?
 
And Chris, in this video, you call ME Ivy. Right about three and a half minutes in, you say "seriously, IVY, I really do want you." What the fuck is that? Why the fuck did you call me Ivy?
 
And don't bother telling me that it's because you were thinking about Ivy since the subject came up, and you just got the names confused. Because while that may be true, all it shows is that you don't really see much difference between me and Ivy. You know, I'm glad that I haven't met you in person yet, that we haven't gotten that close yet. Because if we were in an actual relationship then what you did would be FUCKING DEVASTATING to me. So please stop telling me that you "love" me, because obviously you don't. Love takes time to build, Chris. Maybe you would know that if you didn't just tell me you love me because you think it's what I want to hear. You confused me with your ex-fucking-girlfriend, for christ's sake. Are girls just all the same to you, or something?
 
I'm glad that you made a video for me, finally. But maybe in your next one you can think of a way to explain to me why I should believe you even care about me at all. Or, if you don't really care about me, you can just admit it, but maybe at least get my name right.
 
Oh, and you still haven't answered my question about why a strong-willed, able-bodied man in his late 20's lives with his parents and collects free money from the government. You're getting really good at dodging that one, makes me think you don't have a good explanation. There's this article on the cwcki: http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/Chris_and_money. It says a lot of bad things about your idea of income. But if you want to prove you care about me, I'd like you to give me an answer, finally.
 
Jackie}}
 
 
{{quotebox|Chris
April 20, 2010 - 2:05am
To answer your questions, I am more stable now a days, and I assure you that I would not fall for such flirtatious methods as that one time.  I did mean to say Jackie in that video, and I apologize for the error.  And for the question of why or how I can still live in the lifestyle I am living, I can't really say.  The only thing that I feel is likely holding me back is, among other things, the "Ritualistic" trait of Autism.  It just has set me off and on with routines, and with that, my house I am living in, with my seinor citizen parents, is like the home base of my routines.  It is a MAJOR adjustment for me to make such heavy changes cold-turkey.  That's just the way I am at this point in my life.
I answer your questions with care, and I also say the following out of care and due respect...
Obviously this relationship is not working out, and it is MY fault that it has been going downhill.  I should not have mentioned anything about the CWCki, or my internet business.  Referring to the CWCki, a Troll Site, to back up my point of how they wrongfully found and downloaded videos from sites like MegaUpload.  BTW, I checked, 25 other people downloaded the video I sent to you; the file is deleted now, but now I fear the trolls now have another piece of wood for their fire.
With all that, I feel it's probably for the best you and I went back to our separate ways.  I want you to know that I deeply appreciated your genuine kindness, compassion and sweetness; it made me feel better.  And you are a very beautiful woman; I guess I wasn't good enough for you.  Also, just to advise you, facial jewelry (from piercings) are okay, but I feel you would look better without them.
Perhaps our paths will cross again in the future, but until then, I bid you a blessing for good health and safety.
Peace,
Christian W. Chandler.}}
 
 
{{quoteboxred|Jackie
April 21, 2010 - 9:59 am
 
Hi, Chris.
 
Well, as for your welfare money, that (poorly) explains why you're still in it, I guess, but it still doesn't explain why you needed it in the first place. Not that it matters now, because apparently you value continuing to be someone who relies on welfare and who does nothing all day more than you value changing yourself to be the kind of man I would want. You won't put out any effort for me at all. I guess that shows how much you "love" me, eh? You throw around the word "love" like it's just a meaningless phrase. Which apparently, it is to you, because none of the stuff that usually comes with real love is evident here. For future reference, no girl is going to want to be with you if you are so averse to work and effort. Although from what I read on the cwcki, apparently I'm not the first girl to tell you that, so I don't expect you to listen this time, either.
 
And another thing. Do you pay attention at all to anything I say? I'm not mad because I saw the cwcki. I'm mad because you don't work, you don't change yourself, and because you tell me you "love" me all the while you won't show any effort when I ask you to, you repeatedly dodge my questions about your life because you know I won't like the honest answers, and YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME. That's all YOU, Chris. Don't blame that cwcki site for me not liking you. Don't blame others for your problems. Because I'm pretty sure that even if you had never shown it to me and I had no idea about your internet life, I still would have realized what a snaky little shyster you are being. So don't just assume that that dumb website caused the problem here, because it really annoys me that you are going to walk away from this thinking I'm so stupid that I would have fallen in love with you if not for the "lies" that some website told me. I'm capable of discerning fact from fiction, Chris. I can judge the truth for myself.
 
I was looking forward to a relationship with you, but you showed that you apparently aren't ready. Maybe if you showed me some effort I'd feel differently. maybe you shouldn't just give up on a girl you "love" the first time she gets mad at you. So you know what, Chris? Let me make this clear to you: I am still open-minded here. If you show me that you can behave like a man, then maybe we can have something.
 
Jackie
 
P.S. Don't worry so much about the other people that downloaded the video. It was just some of my girlfriends, I had to show them the guy who claims to love me and can't even remember my name. We have better things to do than put some stupid video up on the internet.}}
 
 
{{quotebox|Chris
April 21, 2010 - 8:38 pm
I really did like you, Jackie, and I would have felt happy to awake next to you any day. But I wasn't in Love with you; I realize that, and I admit it.
Peace.}}

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