Difference between revisions of "User:Old meme/Sandbox 4"

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(looks like it's all done here. clearing page.)
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'''Kathleen Nicole Wallace''' is the name of [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]'s now ex-girlfriend, whom he dated for a while when he was twenty years old. Kathleen has never met or even interacted online with [[Chris]] before, but due to her association with one of his arch-enemies, Chris still managed to give enough of a shit about her to write letters to her and include her as a villain in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]].


== Background and discovery ==
Upon finding out that Jason was the creator of the Chris-Chan page on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], Chris soon convinced himself that he was also the mastermind behind all his recent troubles on the [[Internet]] and the head of all [[trolls]]. Becoming obsessed with this new enemy, Chris began an exhaustive investigation in an attempt to find some kind of dirt to use against Jason, a tactic he would later also try with [[Clyde Cash]], resulting in the [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!|infamous]] [[ClydeGoingOnGregg1|blackmail]] [[To Clyde Gregg|videos]].
This eventually lead to Chris discovering Kathleen, and he concluded that when Jason was 20 years old, she was his girlfriend whilst she was still only 17 years old. Chris began announcing this wherever he could,{{cite}} essentially accusing Howell of committing statutory [[rape]]. Chris's charge, of course, assumes that Jason and Kathleen had sexual intercourse during this period, and assumes that they both lived in a state where the age of consent is 18, since in [[America]] the age laws differ greatly between states. Of course, Chris is barely even aware that there actually ''exists'' a world outside [[Virginia]], having only ever even left the state once or twice in his life, so it is unlikely he knows this.
And of course, there's the matter that if, indeed, they were having sex and Kathleen was legally underage, the difference is small enough that most people would find no problem with it. But given Chris's [[naive|narrow minded]] nature and [[Autism|rigid and literal interpetation]] of the world around him, he was far more concerned with whether or not it was a legal issue, rather than how socially acceptable it was.
== Almost involvement ==
Eventually, Chris's infamous [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|counterattack]] on ED backfired on him spectacularly and caused [[Megan Schroeder]] to cut off all contact with him over [[Shecameforcwc.jpg|an image]] Chris drew of her which he uploaded to the site. Nonetheless though, Chris's inability to admit fault led to him deluding himself into believing that it was the trolls who broke up the closest thing to a relationship he ever had, and he decided to take his revenge on Jason by sabotaging his relationship with Kathleen, just as he believed Jason had done to him and Megan. This never actually came to fruition, because Kathleen and Jason had already been apart for quite a while by the time Chris began conspiring to break them up.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9TtPNnyayY&feature=relmfu</ref> That didn't stop him from trying however, and he sent Kathleen a long email to inform her of his grudge against Jason, despite having never met her, talked to her, and her probably not even knowing of his existence.
The email is as follows:
{{quotebox|Hello, Kat, I am Christian Chandler
[[Chris and his ego|You may or may not know me]] (depending on how often you're on the internet, and if you've found me by reference or search), but I have something to tell you about your "cuddle-butt", Jason. He has been playing a Major Cog in the Slander Factory known as [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], and among all the innocent victims that the website has vandalized beyond the worst embarrassment known to mankind within their grasp, your [[Troll|bully]] of a boyfriend is the Original Author of the "Chris-chan" page that was put up there for the [[lulz|"LULZ"]], "Laughs Under Lucricities". Which I don't have to tell you is not only mean and cruel, the page is HORRIBLE.
Against me, that page has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with [[Megan Schroeder]], who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, "I Love You" to me, then she found [[Rule 34|that page]] and she broke up with me. [[Heart level|It broke my heart]].
Also, the chaos from the page broke up the buddy friendship between me and my buddy, [[Joshua Martinez]], who attended [[James Madison University|Special Ed]] classes with me during our childhood.
And after the first time I found that page myself, I went into a spiral of [[Virgin with rage|rage]] against that machine, that with the break-ups and chaos, I became depressed and went into a forced-by-personal-emotions hiatus.
There are numerous other chaotic happenings that raged from the ED page, but I can't remember them all.
Anyway, the point is, if it wasn't for your "Bully Next Door", I would not have to have had to endure the [[stress]], [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|emotional pains]], [[Blanca|break-ups]], [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 8th, 2008|self-torments]], etcetera, etcetera, etcetera!!!
Who knows what he may have in mind against you in relation. While he may have started with me, or possibly any one or more of the victims on Encyclopedia Dramatica, who knows when he will do something similarly [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|evil or worse]] against you.
Oh, BTW, in other states, it IS [[Chris and the Law|illegal]] for his 20-year old self to be Dating 17-year old you.
My apologies for informing you and possibly causing emotional stress and rage, but I felt it was my duty to inform you before it was too late.
Peae,
Christian Weston Chandler."}}
In essence, what Chris has done here is email a random woman who doesn't know who he even is and tell her that her boyfriend is an asshole, seemingly blames her for what he has supposedly done, says that her relationship with him was illegal, and speculates that he may physically or emotionally abuse her in the future. Most women would probably react less than kindly to a message like this even if talking about an ex, if not to defend their ex's character than most certainly because of Chris's condescending tone, but according to Jason himself, Kathleen never really did read or respond to this email, and so continued to remain unaware of this random internet retard who for some reason knew all about her.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9TtPNnyayY&feature=relmfu</ref>
== In Sonichu ==
As part of his continued smear campaign against Jason, Chris included both him and Kathleen in the Sonichu comics, beginning with a brief cameo in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and later getting a proper introduction in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]. Like all of the characters Chris bases off real-life people and events, his embellishments say more about himself than the target of his "satire". For example, he refuses to believe that a minor would willingly engage in an "illegal" relationship with a "bully", so Chris depicts her as a slave, apparently forced to endure Jason's odious presence. Kathleen was initially dubbed "Jason's Woman Slave", and drawn with a strange BDSM costume sometimes seen crying tears of blood.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_37</ref> She never actually said or did anything in either issues, both times just standing by and watching the fights between Jason, [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] with general disinterest.
Rightfully so as well, because despite Jason outright confessing that she was his sex slave, neither of the heroes make any attempt to save her, only concerned with [[Chris and his ego|their own personal vendetta]] against Jason. In fact, even when Jason is actually defeated at the end, they still leave her chained up with him, as if forgetting she was ever there at all. Rosechu even later went on to strip for [[women's rights]], but not inspired by Kathleen's plight or anything. She never even comes up. The entire demonstration is all about how Rosechu was falsely portrayed as a hermaphrodite, because apparently that is worse than slavery.
Later, advised by [[Jay Z]] during the [[Miyamoto Saga]], Chris made some [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|edits]] to his comics and retconned all instances of real life people included in the comics being called by their real names. Chris never actually changed their names like he did with [[Mary Lee Walsh|other characters]], but he did vow to only ever refer to them by first names from thereon.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/</ref> During the changes, Chris also retconned away the unfortunate subtext about sexual slavery, changing Kathleen's title to imply her being a willing accomplice to Jason rather than a slave, although the bondage gear remained intact. This makes Rosechu seem like less of a bitch, but it also unintentionally retcons an innocent woman into a villain, despite her never having done anything to Chris IRL, or even knowing who he is.
This may have been unintentional however. Even after her being changed to an accomplice rather than a slave, Kathleen still never did anything villainous. She remained by Jason's side, saying and doing nothing as always in her next appearance, as Jason takes the both of them away from the action in an escape pod when Chris attempts to destroy [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building with them still inside duing [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. Before leaving the other trolls to all die, Jason announces his retirement from trolling, his apparent conversion to Christianity, and his intentions to go out and marry Kathleen and live a quiet life in the suburbs with her.
It can be interpretted from this that Kathleen may not have been a criminal accomplice, but instead a kind of companion for Jason in the retconned comics, so maybe Chris never really did intend to retcon her into a villain. After all, the real life Kathleen never did anything bad to Chris at all, and in fact shared no interactions with him whatsoever. Why would Chris need to demonize her too? For these reasons, it seems Chris decided to let go of his need for revenge on Jason for once, and actually give one of his villains a happy ending, letting him retire in peace and letting Kathleen have a normal life with him.
Then Chris was forced by [[Jackie]] to rewrite the ending to ''Sonichu'' #10 to make it less needlessly violent concerning the [[Asperpedia]] Four and give them a happy ending, so when Chris made the [[Book10Replacement]] in which the four survive their unfair trial and are sentenced to living life in the [[Wikipedia:Amish|Amish]] community instead, Chris had to find a way to fit in that little extra bit of pointless cruelty, so the retcons also show [[Mary Lee Walsh]] in prison following her defeat by [[Colossal Chan]], and she is then joined by Kathleen, who is revealed to be her new inmate. We learn from her that she had been cheating on Jason with a 4-cent secretary for a while, and after the two fled from the collapsing building, Jason found out and they had a fight, leading to them breaking up, Jason dying by crashing into a mountain somehow, and Kathleen going home to get high on marijuana. She was subsequently caught by the police and for some reason placed in the same cell as a dangerous terrorist. She also reveals that she had tried to smuggle weed into the prison by stuffing it between her breasts and [[Sonichu Medallion|up her asshole]], but that the police had still somehow found it.
Why Chris ever felt the need to add this part is unclear. As has been said numerous times in this article, Kathleen wasn't even someone who had made an enemy of Chris in real life like the [[Jerkops]] or Mary did. Kathleen was never even aware of Chris. Yet somehow Chris saw fit to depict her as a sex slave, a depraved druggie, an adultress and ends the series by putting her in prison. Your guess is as good as ours here.
== Kathleen's reaction ==
So what was Kathleen's reaction to all this you may ask? Quite simply: Nothing. As far as can be told, she has to this day still not ever read the Sonichu comics or Chris's email, and remains completely unaware of the entire Chris-Chan phenomenom. When Jason joined [[Vivian]] by providing his own voice for the [[Audiobooks]], he also made several episodes of commentary over the [[Official Videobooks]] that Chris made, where he confirmed that he and Kathleen had already been broken up by the time Chris started including them in the comics, and Jason had never bothered to tell her about anything Chris had done involving her.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9TtPNnyayY&feature=relmfu</ref>
All that can be said, is that if you one day [http://www.google.co.uk/#sclient=psy&hl=en&safe=off&biw=1440&bih=785&source=hp&q=Kathleen+Nicole+Wallace&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&oq=&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&fp=bb02b3c38c9f631 googled yourself] and discovered that some fat autistic man who you've never met or even heard of before had written a story about you being a sex slave to your ex, hiding marijuana up your ass and being thrown into prison with an old lady with devil horns, imagine what your reaction would be. It's a safe bet that Kathleen's wouldn't be much better.
==References==
<references></references>
==See also==
*[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]
*[[4-cent_garbage.com]]
*[[Pedofork]]
*[[Facebook messages|Chris's Facebook messages]], which show Chris [[Chris and hypocrisy|pursuing a 17 year old girl himself]]
{{People}}
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Villains]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:ED Saga]]

Revision as of 06:36, 16 July 2011

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