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| {{Articleofthenow}}
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| [[Image:453-ValentineHymnCollage.JPG|thumb|right|Behold the V-Day Collage of Fail!]] | |
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| '''Valentines Day Hymn''' is one of [[Chris]]'s earliest poems. He wrote it on Valentine's Day [[2000]] for "[[CWC's Pokésite 2]]". It's quite obvious he didn't pay much attention in [[English]] or [[music]] class, or he'd probably have known that a [[Wikipedia:Hymn|hymn]] is a song of praise or adoration, usually addressed to a [[Chris and religion|deity]] or [[Megan|prominent person]]; not a poem telling a boring story.
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| ==Text==
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| ==='''Valentines Day Hymn'''===
| | Skeet is the god of eternity at the McSpanky's fast food restaurant. Skeet calls everyone, "dude," and claims to be smart, but others see him as dim-witted. However, McSpanky's came to life and tried to destroy every other food joint and Skeet did not run away. When the restaurant was shot at the sun, the Space Bandits found the place and turned it into a spaceship. Believing that Skeet was the one responsible for this awesome technology, they vowed to find him and exploit his great wisdom, which they never did, for some reason. |
| <poem>
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| On the day of love and romance,
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| Hearts and cupids fly around.
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| The arrow of cupid hits a man,
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| And that man falls head over heels for a pretty gal.
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| Cards and candy go hand-to-hand,
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| Expressing the thoughts of love put in the poem.
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| Kisses are shared and fireworks are blown,
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| The only way that could happen is if they kissed on the 4th of July.
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| On a [[Dating|date]], the man could not pay the bill,
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| So his date slammed her door in his face.
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| Red and Pink are the hearty colors,
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| Because that's how the hearts were originally drawn.
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| The man's coat over a puddle,
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| The maiden walks,
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| Then the man trips and pays the laundry bill.
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| Under the moonlight,
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| The couples of the world kiss,
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| But unfortunately for few,
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| They are [[Bob Walks In|interrupted by their parents]].
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| Night is right for love,
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| Except for the werewolf...
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| Whoops!
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| [[Random-access humor|Wrong holiday]].
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| Happy Valentines Day to all lovers!
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| The cupids did a pretty good job,
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| Didn't they?
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| </poem>
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| ==Analysis==
| | Skeet, initially called upon as Skeetui Yoshimato, was raised in an exceedingly poor rice village in southern Koyushu. His grandfather was a war trained assassin who was tasked to eliminate U.S operatives. Although Skeetu's grandfather was Japanese, he was fluent in American English. This is why "Skeet" sounds like a typical American teenage boy. After many years of vigorous katana training on Mt. Fuji, Skeet traveled to the United States of America in hopes of beginniing a new life, honoring his ancestors in the process. Skeetui wanted to experience the American Dream, and thought working in fast food would be a good place to start. So, after moving to Retroville, Skeetui earned a job position as the cashier at McSpanky's. Soon, through hard work and dedication, he became employee of the month. This was an achievement unparalleled by any employee of McSpanky's. When Jimbo and two of his friends walked in and talked about getting a job at the restaurant, Skeetui made a seemingly irrational move by hiring the boys. However, Skeetui was a man who wanted to give these younger children an opportunity to straighten themselves out. Initially, two of his new employees worked well considering their age. However, Jimbo gave Skeetui trouble in a now-notorious incident in which Jimbo claimed to be smarter than the cash register, therefore stating he didn't need to use it. But, the cash register is used for tracking purposes, validating Skeetui's discontent with Jimbo. Later that night, Jimbo would sneak into McSpanky's and would commit vandalism by changing the interior to appear futuristic. As if this weren't the worst case, Jimbo also attached rockets to the restaurant, launching it into the air. As the restaurant was taking off, Skeetui was bravely saving the lives of men, women, and children alike by line backing them off the premise. However, time was very limited, causing the demise of our hero who, soon after, ascended into godhood. |
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| Chris tried his hand at free-verse with this poem. While some may see this as a bold, modern approach to poem writing, it is more likely that Chris was just too lazy to adhere to any sort of rhyming pattern or meter, instead writing down whatever the hell came out of his head without having to deal with the [[Stress|stress]] of a rigid pattern.
| | === Trivia === |
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| The poem seems to be about a [[Chris|clumsy, broke man]] and his lousy date (note the implication that the girl is [[Women's Rights|shallow and only cares about money]]), but Chris deems it necessary to break up this story with some barely relevant thoughts on love and Valentines Day, making the poem even harder to read than it needs to be. The poem also does a great job in showing Chris's ignorance. He seems to believe that fireworks are only used on Valentines Day and the Fourth of July, he has no idea what the term "hearty" means, and that he thinks a woman would do her laundry on a date with a man. Chris wraps up this steaming pile of failure with a sprinkle of [[Random Access Humor|random access humor]] to ruin any sort of beauty that he lazily tries to create.
| | Skeetui was originally more powerful in the manga. However, he was nerfed to dish out less damage per second in the anime, as for Jimbo fans would complain. |
| | | Some look up to Skeetui as the Profit, and is thought to be the messiah that will return one day. |
| Perhaps the most remarkable thing about this poem is its nonchalant and cheerful attitude toward dating and romance. After his [[love quest]] began in 2003, Chris was known to complain about the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] and called the rest of the human males [[JERKS]]. He would often bemoan his sad and lonely state. At the time this song was written though, Chris was apparently not too hurried to find a sweetheart, and was more than willing to celebrate the love of others.
| | Skeetui roughly translates to "sperm whale", according to fan translations. |
| | | It can be observed that Skeetui's main catchphrase is "dude". |
| ==Spanish version==
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| Chris wrote an alternate version for the Spanish version of the PokeSite, later put up on the [[CWCipedia]].<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWC_Speaks</ref>
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| With very minor exceptions (such as the last line, which literally translates to "Yes?" as opposed to "Didn't they?"), Chris opts for the literal school of translation, opting to translate word for word without regard to the original rhythm of the poem. Some English professors might argue that this is a sort of fail.
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| ===Chris's translation===
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| <poem>
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| En el díy de amor y romance,
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| Corazónes y cupids volan alrededor.
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| La flecha de cupid choca un hombre,
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| Y esto hombre está enamorado por la señora bonita.
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| Tarjetas de amor y cande son juntos bien,
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| Expresan los pensamientos de amor en la poema.
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| Los Besos son partes y los fuegos artificales explotan,
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| Puede ocurrir solomente si ellos besan en el 4 de Julio.
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| En una cita, el hombre no puede pagar la cuenta,
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| Tan su novia cerra su puerta en su cara.
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| Rojo y Rosado son los colores del día de St. Valentin,
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| Porqué son los colores originales de los corazónes.
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| El abrigo del hombre cubre un charco,
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| La doncella camina,
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| Que el hombre baja y paga la cuenta para la ropa lavada.
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| En el luz de la luna, Las parejas del mundo besan,
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| Pero para menos, Tienen in interrupción desde sus padres.
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| La noche es bueno para amor,
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| Excepto el werewolf...
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| ¡Hoy!
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| Falsa fiesta.
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| Feliz día de St. Valentin para todos están enamoros!
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| Los cupids hacen un trabajo bueno,
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| Sí?
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| </poem>
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| ===Correct translation===
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| <poem>
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| En el día del amor y del romance,
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| Vuelan corazones y cupidos.
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| La flecha de Cupido le da a un hombre,
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| Y éste se enamora perdidamente de una chica bonita.
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| Se pasan de mano a mano cartas y dulces
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| Que expresan los sentimientos de amor en el poema.
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| Se comparten besos y estallan fuegos artificiales;
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| Esto sólo pasaría si se besaran el cuatro de julio.
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| Durante una cita, el hombre no pudo pagar la cuenta,
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| Por lo que la muchacha le cerró la puerta en la cara.
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| El rojo y el rosa son los colores del corazón
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| Porque así se dibujaron en un principio.
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| El abrigo del hombre sobre un charco,
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| Camina la doncella;
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| Luego, el hombre se tropieza y le paga al lavandero.
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| Bajo la luz de la luna
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| Se besan las parejas del mundo,
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| Pero, mal que le pese a algunos,
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| Les interrumpen sus padres.
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| La noche es adecuada para el amor,
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| Menos para el hombre lobo...
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| ¡Uy!
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| Fiesta equivocada.
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| ¡Feliz día de San Valentín a todos los enamorados!
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| Qué buen trabajo hicieron los cupidos,
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| ¿No es cierto?
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| </poem>
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| ==Chris's Spanish version literally translated back to English==
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| <poem>
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| In day of Romance love and,
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| Hearts and cupids high around.
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| The arrow of Cupid hits a man,
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| and this man is enamored by the pretty lady.
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| Cards of together love and good locks are,
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| Express the thoughts of love in the poem.
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| The Kisses are parts and the artificial fires explode,
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| Can happen single if they kiss on the 4th of July.
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| In an appointment, the man cannot pay the account,
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| So his fiancèe slamming his door in his face.
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| Red and Pink they are the colors of the day of St. Valentin,
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| Because they are the original colors of the hearts.
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| The shelter of the man covers a pool,
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| doncella walks,
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| That the low man and pays the account for the washed clothes.
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| On the light of the moon, the pairs of the world kiss,
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| But for less, They have in interruption from its parents.
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| The night is good for love,
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| Except werewolf…
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| Today!
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| False celebration.
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| Happy day of St. Valentin for all is enamoros!
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| Cupids makes a work good,
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| Yes?
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| </poem>
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| ==Fan videos==
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| {{Infobox/Fanvideo
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| | name = Dramatic Reading
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| | video = {{#ev:youtube|1rN7PtUMMYg}}
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| | stardate = 28 [[May 2010]]
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| | maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/manwithoutabody manwithoutabody]
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| | subject = | type = | info = The second poem read, along with [[Hard Love Quest]] and [[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu]].
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| }}
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| == Sources ==
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| <references/>
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| {{Writings}}
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| {{Love quest}}
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| [[Category:Poetry]]
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File:Skeetanimehero.jpeg
Skeet is the god of eternity at the McSpanky's fast food restaurant. Skeet calls everyone, "dude," and claims to be smart, but others see him as dim-witted. However, McSpanky's came to life and tried to destroy every other food joint and Skeet did not run away. When the restaurant was shot at the sun, the Space Bandits found the place and turned it into a spaceship. Believing that Skeet was the one responsible for this awesome technology, they vowed to find him and exploit his great wisdom, which they never did, for some reason.
Skeet, initially called upon as Skeetui Yoshimato, was raised in an exceedingly poor rice village in southern Koyushu. His grandfather was a war trained assassin who was tasked to eliminate U.S operatives. Although Skeetu's grandfather was Japanese, he was fluent in American English. This is why "Skeet" sounds like a typical American teenage boy. After many years of vigorous katana training on Mt. Fuji, Skeet traveled to the United States of America in hopes of beginniing a new life, honoring his ancestors in the process. Skeetui wanted to experience the American Dream, and thought working in fast food would be a good place to start. So, after moving to Retroville, Skeetui earned a job position as the cashier at McSpanky's. Soon, through hard work and dedication, he became employee of the month. This was an achievement unparalleled by any employee of McSpanky's. When Jimbo and two of his friends walked in and talked about getting a job at the restaurant, Skeetui made a seemingly irrational move by hiring the boys. However, Skeetui was a man who wanted to give these younger children an opportunity to straighten themselves out. Initially, two of his new employees worked well considering their age. However, Jimbo gave Skeetui trouble in a now-notorious incident in which Jimbo claimed to be smarter than the cash register, therefore stating he didn't need to use it. But, the cash register is used for tracking purposes, validating Skeetui's discontent with Jimbo. Later that night, Jimbo would sneak into McSpanky's and would commit vandalism by changing the interior to appear futuristic. As if this weren't the worst case, Jimbo also attached rockets to the restaurant, launching it into the air. As the restaurant was taking off, Skeetui was bravely saving the lives of men, women, and children alike by line backing them off the premise. However, time was very limited, causing the demise of our hero who, soon after, ascended into godhood.
=== Trivia ===
Skeetui was originally more powerful in the manga. However, he was nerfed to dish out less damage per second in the anime, as for Jimbo fans would complain.
Some look up to Skeetui as the Profit, and is thought to be the messiah that will return one day.
Skeetui roughly translates to "sperm whale", according to fan translations.
It can be observed that Skeetui's main catchphrase is "dude".
