Difference between revisions of "Emily Date Conversation Transcript"

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In March 2009, Chris went on his first, and only date ever with a troll called [[Emily]]. For posterity's sake, the event was recorded, and is now presented in text format for your enjoyment, here.
#REDIRECT [[Date with Emily]]
 
The voices heard in the recording are that of am elite crack team of courageous trolls and trollettes.
 
 
The cast in order of appearance:
<br><br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:'''</font> Wiz-kid and all around brainiac. His high-tech know-how keeps the group online.
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:'''</font> Friend of Emily, this perverse gal's mission was to capture video evidence of the event.
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> Queen of trolls! She risked both life and limb on a dangerous mission into the heart of darkness.
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:'''</font> Brave and daring hero! He protects Emily from certain peril and inflicts permanent stress and emotional damage upon all who would harm her.
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> Misshapen manchild, who's disgusting nature even seeps into the very recording of his voice. Will his evil plan to touch Emily inappropriately succeed? Tune in to find out!
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:'''</font> [[Bob Chandler|Robert "Bob" Franklin Chandler]], a proud Internet lumberjack yet slave of the Manchild. Bob is bound by law and duty to the horrible beast. Every moment of his last days are being spent catering for Chris-chan's sadistic whims. A sad shell of what once was a great man, now he only waits, and prays for mercy from his foul captor.
 
 
=Transcript=
Inside, a multitude of voices echo around the cavernous mall. We hear our heroes' voices over the din of the shoppers.
 
==Setup (0:00 - 3:10)==
 
As the recording beings, we hear the technician, "Frosty" arming Emily's mic, cleverly disguised as a third nipple.
 
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:'''  Okay. lock it. Okay it-</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' Are you wearing a thong? Is that a-</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' That better be fucking tight.</font> (Talking about the recorder/thong)
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' It's tight.</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' That might pop out while you're walking and it'll be like- </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' I should be like-</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' A robotic vagina- *laughing*</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' I should be like- *laughing*</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' Say "It's my vibrator"</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *laughing*</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' It's one of those things you see tapped to those- those hentai-</font>
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:'''  Well the thing is Chris said in the script(?) he would squeal</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *laughing* UNF UNF UNF UNF UNF UNF</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Okay, if he get's like way too close to me, I'm just gonna be like scoot my chair farther away</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' (indistinct) I really like if... (indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' *laughing* Maybe Barb will come</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Probably shouldn't leave the house anymore</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' No, if (indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *laughs*</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (Pickle Man continues indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:''' There are Barb candidates everywhere</font> (Talking about the free roaming hambeasts that populate the mall)
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:'''  Nononono but but in all probability there should be no Barb, if there is Barb I will shit myself</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' If there is Barb, we're done.</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' We're not showing up</font>
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:''' (Mockingly) "You brought your Mommy?"</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' I should be like, "No put that shit in the bag, and we're not doing anything today"</font>
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' That's it.</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' And you can like, call him and be like "You owe me a dire apology and you're a jack off"</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' No I'm going- I'm going to yell at him, and make him cry</font>
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' and be like, "I'm going to live in Clyde's playboy mansion."</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (Pickle Man speaks indistinctly)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *laughs*</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' I'm part of Clyde's playboy mansion</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' *Despondent* I'm the janitor</font>
 
<br>They all laugh
 
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Okay, let's go see if he's there.</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' ''You'' go see if he's there</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' NO! Cause it's- Cause he's- Cause I'm gona make an entrance like: ''HAIIII!''</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (Pickle Man speaks indistinctly)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' No. he wants to meet in front of Chick-Fil-A, so..</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' Figures... but the general idea would be you park near where you want to go</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *Chuckles*</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' (indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *laughs*</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' (Speaks indistinctly)Did you see those (indistinct) where it kind of looks like a penis?</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' Right here</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh *laughs*</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' It's a fucking penis</font>
 
<br> A slight pause while something happens, presumably involving the penis shaped object
 
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' Nope</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *Disappointed*Oh</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''*Sigh*</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' *Sigh*</font>
 
<Br> An uneasy silence falls.
 
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' There's that ugly bitch that looks like Hamster Girl(indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *Chuckles*</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' She ''looks'' like Hamster Girl, right there</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:'''(Speaking To Pickle Man) Is that the only one you can see working?</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (indistinct) over by Starbucks? You should (indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' Nonono she looks like Hamster Girl</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' Don't she have no hair? oh she has a- (indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' No, she has hair. She has her hair back like this:</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' Oh yeah, I knew that</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' I was gonna say, I donno, cause I guess she died her hair blond. Cause I remember seeing her in some ugly strange colored hair</font>
 
==Target Spotted (3:11 - 4:46)==
 
Suddenly, the festive mood changes to dread as Chris appears, in full stalker regalia.
 
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:''''(Noticing Chris)There he is!</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Panicking) Wut!</font>
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:'''' In the jacket</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Panicking) omygod EJECT omygod!</font> (as the realization of what is about to happen sets in)
 
<br>Many voices here, possibly more than the four that were speaking in previously "In the jacket" "There he is" .ect
 
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:'''  Are you ready?</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah I'm ready. *Nervous laugh/cry* This is going to be my best acting moment ever.</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (inaudible)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah, Don't like, look, cause she has to get down first.</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (inaudible)</font>
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:'''  He'll realize later, that's what it was.</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' I don't feel bad</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Okay, but if he like, won't come around and-(interrupted) Huh? I don't have my phone.</font>
 
<br>There is a short silence as everyone is overcome by the aura of the approaching manchild
 
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Nervously, under her breath) Oh my God....</font>
 
<br>Another pause.
 
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' If this is going to goes all smoothly, I should get like...(trails off)</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' Where do I sit?</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Umm, there's some benches like by the table... oh, oh, oh no.</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (inaudible)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Okay, there's some benches like nearby...</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' Yeah?</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Umm, just sit and watch them, talk and eat, then go change or whatever.</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' Well, okay. I (indistict)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah...</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:'''  Okay. I (indistict)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *Takes a deep breath* Yeah.</font>
 
<br> Emily begins to slowly walk twards her impending date with destiny as she gives instructions to the Pickle Man
 
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' or just kind of walk around and see if you can see us.</font>
 
==The Date Begins (4:47 - 7:17)==
 
<br> Emily parts with the Pickle Man and advances on the table. The hesitation in her step is audible, but she marches on, straight into the lions den.
<br> At 5:21 Emily contacts the target.
 
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' ''Hi''...</font> (The words come out tinged with disgust, this wasn't the dramatic entrance she had hopped for minutes earlier)
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Are you Emily?</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah, I'm Emily... So nice to meet you.</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Hi Emily this is mah father Robert</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' (Cheerfully) Hello!</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Hello</font>
 
<br>A slight pause while they presumably shake hands
 
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' I've started shopping a little bit.</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' thas alright</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Robert:''' You're from West Virgina?</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah, I use to live here for a while but then I-</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' *interrupts with a single word* HAT!</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' But then I moved to...</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' *interrupts a second time* NEAT HAT!</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah I thought you might like it.</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' *laughs, amused by himself* heh heh</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Robert:''' You go to school over there?</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah, University of West Virgina, My friend -uh, wanted to go to school there and she's my best friend, so I have to go with her everywhere. *slightly nervous laugh*</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' (Cheerfully) That sounds like the best way to do things!</font> (Robert is surprisingly happy, when he's not catching his failure of a son masturbating in the kitchen)
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' *Butts in awkwardly* yeah hey Emily, do you mind a photo of you and me together?</font> (Chris can't STAND it when the topic isn't focused on him)
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Genuinely Excited) Sure!</font>
 
<br>There is a short pause and Robert says something,  it would seem a picture is taken.
 
<br><font color="#545454">'''Robert:''' What are you taking?</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' I'm doing journalism.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Robert:''' (Hard of hearing)Wha?</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Journalism.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Robert:''' (Teasingly)Journalism? Oh, you're going to be a writer!</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah! *Giggles girlishly*</font> (Who's on the date here? Chris or Bob?)
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' I did a lot-</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' He (Chris) has a half brother, who's.... Who lives in New York City and uh... does Freelance Writing and Show Review and things... for newspapers and magazines.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Is it- Does he love it?</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Robert:''' I guess...</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *Giggles girlishly again*</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Robert:''' I haven't talked to him in years...</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah...</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' *mumbles something under his breath* You haven't said anything about me, before.</font>
 
<br> They take a few steps, and an extraordinarily unconformable silence falls.
 
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' You know thats- I worked at uhh- I'm an engineer and engineers never learn how to spell.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *Giggles girlishly yet again*</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Robert:''' I think very logically but I-</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' *interrupts yet again* SHOOT! I got bad batteries in the camera.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *Moans with disappointment*</font> (It's unclear whether or not she was more disappointment about the batteries or the fact that Chris keeps butting in)
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' (Continues)If I would- If would write anything, half the words would be phonetically rather than the way we're suppose to.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *laughs again, a little less enthusiastically*</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' (Continues)I got along fine... writing stuff on my word processor... when I had spell check</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' (Continues)but I don't do that no more</font>
 
<br> Robert emits a dry, finely-aged, man cackle. Chris is strangely quiet.
 
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Did you like doing engineering?</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Well, I had a really unique situation...</font>
 
==About Bob (7:18 - 16:45)==
 
Robert Pauses, and seems to weigh what he is about to say next
 
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Look, uh... I'ma-I'm really old</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *laughs nervously*</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Robert:''' Okay, so- cause I'm 81 and I came along before transistors.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *nods attentively* mm-hmm?</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' (inaudible)the stuff we had now, but even before then. This is when we had vacuum tubes. And I uh... got drafted after World War II. That's how old-but uh... They put me in the Signal Corps and they knew things I didn't know. They taught me how to install valve systems and switchboard and telephone (Inaudible). So I found out, yeah, I'm pretty good at that. So when I got out.. course that was in 1947... found out now- I know we had a deflation economy, I didn't know it then- Couldn't get a job, So I thought "Well, I got the G.I. Bill. I'll go to school." </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah, now it's really hard to become an engineer</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Eh, now ya- I, uh- I went to a State Union College(?) to start with cause I had the philosophy, that if I went to a big school I'd be just... swallowed up</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' So I went to a small school and took Pre-Engineering for two years and that was the best thing I ever did. Cause I wound up... well- I got through my two years of Pre-Engineering in small classes.</font> (better than anything your sickeningly pathetic offspring ever did)
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *nods attentively* mm-hmm</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' And also I loved music, and I was in this band and everything. And I got the chance to learn a lot about music while I was there. And then I went to Alburn and it was- talk about getting swallowed up</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *Laughs Nervously*</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Then- At that time Alburn, which now has like thirty thousand students, or something. Alburn had about five thousand students. I got my engineering degree. And then when I got out, I said: "I'll, uh, I can do anything with relays and telephones and (two more items, indistinct). I'm gonna work for Western Electric;-"</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *interjecting her agreement* mm-hmm</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' "That seems (indistinct, cut off by Chris).</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' *Interrupting, yet again* Yeah! Hey! No, you listen to my father. Beause he's something; Because I get some of my intelligence from him.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Especially my tend-o-logical *phonetic spelling* intelligence.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:'''*Ignoring Chris' comments* But anyway, I, uh, I went to work for them for forty years, and, uh, at that point in time... (Pause) uh, This is even before the (indistinct), the I.C.B-(Emily laughs again, drowning him out). Before the Korean War, and, uh, but, I-I found out they were building radar systems. Well that was fine, but I thought they had lots of available money, and they wanted to automatic (indistinct). At that time, nothing was automatic. They had none.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' So, that's what I come and build 'em. (Indistinct) what I learned in the army.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' I started working with the first automatic (death storm?), that we ever made. And then GE heard about it, and they came down to help them with the (boat?), in North Carolina. And the GE came down, they offered me a job up in upstate New York. Cold country in (indistinct).</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Laughs at what Bob said)</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' And, uh, I went down to build the automatic (indistinct).</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' mm-hmm</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:'''Nobody knows how, because we haven't done it before.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:'''We found something with automatic (indistinct), down here. Why don't you come up there? Well, okay. So, I went up there, for three years, and helped develop the, uh, automatic (indistinct) but I got, I was a soldier (indistinct) 'cause I was born in Texas and raised in Alabama.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' And then I was in North Carolina, first. And then I hit upstate New York, and I froze to death.(Chuckles)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah, that would be really differ-eh-eh-heh-heh-heh. (Emily laughingly responds)</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' After three years, I said: "I'm going back to (indistinct)GE. I didn't know it then, but I had a real natural draw to the mountains.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' mm-hmm</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' And I knew about (indistinct) So, I wanted to come back to (indistinct). See, we have plants there...and them there plants specialized in industrial automation. Except, they hadn't done any automation yet. They were just industrial controlled. So, I finagled a transfer back to (indistinct) and I got there just at the time, when they were startin' to make any kind of automation controls. So, I got into what they call "a new business area." And I got to do all the great things. All my, I-I really had it right. I was in the right places, at the right time.</font>   
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah. (Giggles Girlishly)</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:'''Because, I am very logically inclined.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' That doesn't really happen these days, with the economy.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:'''Yeah. I'm a logician. Oddly enough, I never learned how a transistor even works on (records?). But, I use em' all the time.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:'''I use 'em. I'm retired now, long time. But when I started out with this group, and the first thing we got into was trying to automate a steel mill, for rolling (painted?) steel for your cars. And when we did that,and then I got into how to roll papers so you could get Kleenex.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (More Girlish Giggling)</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' And, of course you know, that he's the guy that designed the controls for all the plastic water machines! (Bob starts to say something, but Chris plows right along.) So, without him at this time, you couldn't have the plastic through your glasses.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' And-and then then I got into (indistinct), you know? We could do the first one, and then somebody else would take over and do the others.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' mm-hmm</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' And then I got into (managing?) a paper mill. And then I got into the...industry of-of, uh, like (low-line?) warehousing, automatic transition, like (indistinct). The area of rapid transit.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' mm-hmm</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Automatic railroads, and all that kind of stuff. Automated a bunch of that, then I got into automating a bunch of (mine horses?), around the world.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' You've been through a lot!</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' And the I went to do the automating of tanker ships, so you could run 'em from the bridge, and have nobody downstairs.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Even More Girlish Giggling)</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Just someone else involved-</font>
 
 
Unable to hold his tongue any longer, Chris cuts off his father and leaps into the conversation. He then breathes noisily and asks Emily:
 
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Want some water?</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' No, thank-you.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' And, uh, then, uh, then, um, I got into...I developed (indistinct). I found out that there were very few people like me, in the world, who had this natural inclination for logic. Anyway, like the ands, and ors, and the what if's, and the what if's.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:'''And then that developed because (indistinct).</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' uh-huh.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Hardware oriented (Y2k pile of junk. ???)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Giggles)</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Similar fortune was in hardware. </font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' (Indistinct, Sounds like: Here pretty lid, here.</font>)
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (To Bob) Oh, okay. (To Chris) Oh, thank you.</font>
 
Bob starts speaking, but Chris talks over him, making what they say incomprehensible. It seems that Bob is continuing with his life's story, and that Chris is complimenting Emily.
 
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Giggles) Thank you.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' -One of my neighbors was in the Navy too,but I was lazyfont>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' mm-hmm</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' -was to right down on paper, and design on paper right fromt he start (indistinct) a sequence of parallel lines.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' mm-hmm</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' And up to that point, nobody had a way of writing it down on paper.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Unsuccessfully attempts to stifle a laugh)</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' They still don't! (indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' But that hadn't come to mind, I designed the (mine-hose component?) Elevator (indistinct) 5000 ft hole.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Giggles)</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Then I got into, uh, designing scooter machines, which fused, um, plastic around wires, and things like that.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' --Scooters. And then I got into dye-cast machines, and the machines automating them. They make things like carburetors, and cans, and whatever. And then I got into plastics (indistinct) automating their machines. In (indistinct) I ended up with a patent, in my name, that they own. (Indistinct) And I saw the first two liter Coke bottle (Emily Chortles) come off the line in England. (indistinct) shutters, and stuff like that, made out of plastic. All this stuff we got plastic.</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Like your frames!</font> (I think I got that right. Bear with me, I'm doing my very best to make out this audio.)
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yep!(Giggles)</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Including, uh, Tupperware.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Uncertainly) Can't...go without Tupperware.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' No, and that's why I (Indistinct) finalized and perfected, basically, this whole polar (indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' mm-hmm</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' design, and documentation. It came time for me to retire. And so, I did!</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Laughs)</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' And now I'm unindated, with all this stuff I did, and I don't know if I did the world a good thing, or not.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Jumping to Bob's defence) I think you did! You did a lot of things.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' But I can't, I can't spell the word "CAT," without a "K" in it.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Giggles)</font> (Writing Emily's lines is a breeze. You just have to copy and paste the same four responses over and over again.)
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Aw, yeah, well you know, I'm proud of him, anyway, for his accompliment, accom-PLISH-ments.</font> 
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' uh-huh</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' (Referring to Chris) He's got a half-brother who (Indistinct)-</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' (Referring to the parentage of the fore-mentioned half-brother) His son.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh, okay.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' and he's got a, I have a daughter (Indistinct) Phi Beta Kappa, out of UVA.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' She's working for the government. She's got a PHD, now. She's working somewhere for the federal government, all those math people. I dunno.</font>
 
==Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)==
 
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' I'm not very good at math. (Girlishly Giggles)</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' I'm not that-I'm good at logic, but not at math.</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' I'm good at math!</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' He's not good at math, when it comes to managing money.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Laughs)</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Hey, look it! I have YOUR plastic lid on it!</font>
 
Chris and Emily share a giggle over the humor of this statement.
 
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' We've been working with him, now, for twenty seven years. (It was a job?) Most of the time, I've been retired, so I could (coach him?).</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah, usually if you're not very good at math, you're really good at writing, which is why I'm going for journalism.</font>
 
<br>B: Well uh I uh do alright with writing as long as I got spell check
<br>Emily giggles
<br>B: I just uh I enjoyed my life it, uh I-I had things I had opportunities most people don’t get
<br>E: Yeah
<br>B:I’ve got to see all the stuff (indistinct)
<br>E: That’s gooood, I hope that I can travel all around the world and you know, write in journalism..like overseas
<br>B: I’ve been to Australia, I’ve been to Korea,(indistinct) most people that I know have never been to (indistinct) so they write(?) for a living
<br>Emily giggles
<br>B: (indistinct) I wish I could get find out what good he can do though he’s pretty good in drawing
<br>E: Yeah
<br>B:--and writing
<br>C: Yeah she-she-she you-you should know you’ve seen a bunch ah my artwork
<br>E:Yeah it’s really good! All-all my friends like it as well
<br>B: He’s creative but he’s uh , I-I guess you know he’s high functioning autistic and uh
<br>C and Emily: Yeah
<br>B:At six he couldn’t even talk but he was well (indistinct)..around computers and (indistinct) computers
<br>C: Commodore 64
<br>B: laughs , which was his first little--
<br>E: Oh! I don’t know that much about computers (giggle) Sorry! (giggle)
<br>B: You’ve probably got a laptop, with a word processor
<br>E: yeah…
<br>C: Yeah-yeah but you-
<br>B: We’ve brought him a long way,it’s been interesting
<br>C:Yeah that’s a little piece of history you can write about if you want to
<br>E: Yeah that would be interesting
<br>19:04 Chris takes over for half a second
<br>C:Anyways, you came all the way her from VCU or did you make a few stops along the way?
<br>E: No I came all the way from VCU, um like a lot of my friends over at VCU know about the whole Sonichu thing but there’s a lot more like uh, I guess Sonichu girls?
<br>C: yeah..
<br>E:--up in University of West Virginia and we kinda do a newsletter type thing every week
<br>C: Wow..
<br>E:Yeah
<br>B:This is one of my favorite spots in the country
<br>C: I commend you for that
<br>E: giggles
<br>B:--little trees on west avenue
<br>E:uh-huh
<br>B: Have you heard about West Avenue?
<br>E: mm-hmm
<br>B: You know where West Avenue is?
<br>E: mm-hmm
<br>B: You know where west avenue is?
<br>E:Yeah a little bit but I don’t go in that area
<br>B:Then are you from VCU then?
<br>E:Yeah (laughing this off) I don’t know that are very well
<br>B:It’s a little town..only three blocks long and it’s got a second name called ‘Fork Avenue’
<br>Emily giggles
<br>Every spring they have a Fork Avenue (indistinct)
<br>E: Uh-oh
<br>B: at the same time they have the easter parade over on (indistinct) avenue
<br>E: Yeah I’ve never seen it before but my friends have told me about it but I’m usually stuck in you know..college
<br>B:--in Richmond uh 1975 thru 1980 and then I got married to his mother and um he was born then we got transferred over here and we moved to Chesterfield(?) county …but I love West Avenue that’s my favorite spot
<br>Emily giggles
<br>B: I call it Sesame Street
<br>E: Oh that’s--(giggles)
<br>B: They call itself now cause there’s too many kids
<br>E: Oh yeah…?
<br>B: I-I love Virginia. His mother was raised, oh you wouldn’t believe it, raised in (indistinct) and was the one who decided to move
<br>Emily: Uh-huh
<br>B: right there on and uh can’t remember the name of that school the one that goes (indistinct) on (indistinct) street
<br>E: I don’t really know the streets
<br>B: well there’s a street (on a?) Burger King right down the street from there is where uh his mother lived for twenty years and raised her first son and he’s got a lot of ties to the family too, he just doesn’t like me
<br>E: Ohh, you guys have a big family?
<br>B: Well uh we’ve got my son and my daughter; my son’s in Richmond and my daughter’s in Washington
<br>E:Mm-hm
<br>B:and then you’ve got her son  who lives in New York and then there’s the three of us
<br>E: Yeah, sure is a big family
<br>We’ve really got two separate families
<br>C: Yeah but it’s not as big as the Brady BunCH
<br>E: Yeah (giggle) no..
<br>B: We-we-we enjoy it and I’ve grown (indistinct) I don’t have to worry about it when I’m not making a living anymore
<br>E:Yeah
<br>B: Social Security , GE pension and GE is good and sound so what’s it to me?
<br>E: Yeah
<br>B: I grow (indistinct) of it. I’ve got my yard for (indistinct) And in the middle I’ve got a um about a 12 to 15 flat greenhouse
<br>E: oh?
<br>B: Inside the greenhouse it’s different
<br>E:Mm-hm
<br>B:Inside the greenhouse there’s plastic flowers
<br>E: Oh, plastic flowers?
<br>B:--swaying and all my stereo stuff
<br>C: Yeah but he’s got real flowers in his garden
<br>E: Oh, oh okay
<br>B: the day lillies are real in the garden inside (indistinct) it’s all flat
<br>C: Yeah, day lillies bloom about once a year du-duri-about once this summer
<br>B:--summer
<br>E:Oh..
<br>B continues to talk but Chris talks over him 22:33
<br>C: and dey stay that way for about a month or so. It’s a beautiful garden
<br>E: I can imagine
<br>B: I’ve got about 15,00 healthy--
<br>C:  (high pitched/dreamily/wistfully/creepily) IMAGINE
<br>E: giggles
<br>B: I love all the music from Rick and Rick Van Swing
<br>C: Raise me on music he did
<br>E: laughs
<br>B:--musicald, soundtracks
<br>E: Well what’s your favorite artist?
<br>C:Uh my favorite artist..well, he didn’t raise me on it but you know my favorite singer is Britney Spears.
<br>E: Britney Spears?
<br>B: you’ve got all my (indistinct) back in the 30’s and 40’s and 20‘s..
<br>E: and he’s into more modern pop music?
<br>C: Well if I guess I had to pick a classic favorite it would have to be SATCHMO
<br>E: SATCHMO?
<br>C: Louis Armstrong
<br>B  (indistinct) you’ve got all these classics now..
<br>C : (interupts with an impersonation of (presumably) Louis Armstrong) TEN FEET UP THE GRAND BU BUH BUH BEH
<br>E: -giggles-
<br>B:It was in the Forties when it came out on the European market was lacking
<br>E: Yeah
<br>B:Back in the forties when it came out (indistinct) and now you’ve got to make good will and salvation army
<br>E: Yeah
<br>B:  (indistinct)
<br>E: YeeAAh
<br>B: THOUSANDS of them now
<br>E:  (giggles)
<br>B: and inside I found out inside the greenhouse going soon the (complete rules of society are turned around?) I found a great stereo system in the 1970’s and put it out there along with my sing
<br>E:Uh-huh
<br>B: You can turn the volume up and it sounds like it’s the hall where they recorded it. I go out there and swing with the music
<br>E: What? (B laughs) It must be really relaxing(24:19)
 
 
 
 
{{incomplete}}
 
=Links=
* [http://www1.evilshare.com/2d2ea8b4-6641-102c-8ebf-0007e90cfb90 The date] (audio recording)

Latest revision as of 19:13, 19 June 2022

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