Difference between revisions of "Emily Date Conversation Transcript"

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In [[March 2009]], [[Chris]] went on his first, and only date ever with a [[troll]] called [[Emily]]. For posterity's sake, the event was recorded, and is now presented in text format for your enjoyment, here.
#REDIRECT [[Date with Emily]]
 
The voices heard in the recording are that of an elite crack team of courageous trolls and trollettes.
 
==The cast in order of appearance==
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:'''</font> Wiz-kid and all around brainiac. His high-tech know-how keeps the group online.
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:'''</font> Friend of Emily, this perverse gal's mission was to capture video evidence of the event.
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> Queen of trolls! She risked both life and limb on a dangerous mission into the heart of darkness.
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:'''</font> Brave and daring hero! He protects Emily from certain peril and inflicts permanent stress and emotional damage upon all who would harm her.
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> Misshapen manchild, whose disgusting nature even seeps into the very recording of his voice. Will his evil plan to touch Emily inappropriately succeed? Tune in to find out!
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:'''</font> [[Bob Chandler|Robert "Bob" Franklin Chandler]], a proud Internet lumberjack yet slave of the Manchild. Bob is bound by law and duty to the horrible beast. Every moment of his last days are being spent catering for Chris-chan's sadistic whims. A sad shell of what once was a great man, now he only waits, and prays for mercy from his foul captor.
 
==Transcript==
Inside, a multitude of voices echo around the cavernous mall. We hear our heroes' voices over the din of the shoppers.
 
===Setup (0:00 - 3:10)===
 
As the recording begins, we hear the technician, "Frosty" arming Emily's mic, cleverly disguised as a third nipple.
 
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:'''  Okay. lock it. Okay it-</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' Are you wearing a thong? Is that a-</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' That better be fucking tight.</font> (Talking about the recorder/thong)
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' It's tight.</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' That might pop out while you're walking and it'll be like- </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' I should be like-</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' A robotic vagina- *laughing*</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' I should be like- *laughing*</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' Say "It's my vibrator"</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *laughing*</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' It's one of those things you see tapped to those- those hentai-</font>
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:'''  Well the thing is Chris said in the script(?) he would squeal</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *laughing* UNF UNF UNF UNF UNF UNF</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Okay, if he get's like way too close to me, I'm just gonna be like scoot my chair farther away</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' (indistinct) I really like if... (indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' *laughing* Maybe Barb will come</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Probably shouldn't leave the house anymore</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' No, if (indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *laughs*</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (Pickle Man continues indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:''' There are Barb candidates everywhere</font> (Talking about the free roaming hambeasts that populate the mall)
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:'''  Nononono but but in all probability there should be no Barb, if there is Barb I will shit myself</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' If there is Barb, we're done.</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' We're not showing up</font>
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:''' (Mockingly) "You brought your Mommy?"</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' I should be like, "No put that shit in the bag, and we're not doing anything today"</font>
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' That's it.</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' And you can like, call him and be like "You owe me a dire apology and you're a jack off"</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' No I'm going- I'm going to yell at him, and make him cry</font>
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' and be like, "I'm going to live in Clyde's playboy mansion."</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (Pickle Man speaks indistinctly)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *laughs*</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' I'm part of Clyde's playboy mansion</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' *Despondent* I'm the janitor</font>
 
<br>They all laugh
 
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Okay, let's go see if he's there.</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' ''You'' go see if he's there</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' NO! Cause it's- Cause he's- Cause I'm gona make an entrance like: ''HAIIII!''</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (Pickle Man speaks indistinctly)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' No. he wants to meet in front of Chick-Fil-A, so..</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' Figures... but the general idea would be you park near where you want to go</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *Chuckles*</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' (indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *laughs*</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' (Speaks indistinctly)Did you see those (indistinct) where it kind of looks like a penis?</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' Right here</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh *laughs*</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' It's a fucking penis</font>
 
<br> A slight pause while something happens, presumably involving the penis shaped object
 
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' Nope</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *Disappointed*Oh</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''*Sigh*</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' *Sigh*</font>
 
<Br> An uneasy silence falls.
 
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' There's that ugly bitch that looks like Hamster Girl(indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *Chuckles*</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' She ''looks'' like Hamster Girl, right there</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:'''(Speaking To Pickle Man) Is that the only one you can see working?</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (indistinct) over by Starbucks? You should (indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' Nonono she looks like Hamster Girl</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' Don't she have no hair? oh she has a- (indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' No, she has hair. She has her hair back like this:</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' Oh yeah, I knew that</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' I was gonna say, I donno, cause I guess she dyed her hair blond. Cause I remember seeing her in some ugly strange colored hair</font>
 
===Target Spotted (3:11 - 4:46)===
 
Suddenly, the festive mood changes to dread as Chris appears, in full stalker regalia.
 
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:'''(Noticing Chris)There he is!</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Panicking) Wut!</font>
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:''' In the jacket</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Panicking) omygod EJECT omygod!</font> (as the realization of what is about to happen sets in)
 
<br>Many voices here, possibly more than the four that were speaking in previously "In the jacket" "There he is".
 
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:'''  Are you ready?</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah I'm ready. *Nervous laugh/cry* This is going to be my best acting moment ever.</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (inaudible)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah, Don't like, look, cause she has to get down first.</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (inaudible)</font>
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:'''  He'll realize later, that's what it was.</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' I don't feel bad</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Okay, but if he like, won't come around and-(interrupted) Huh? I don't have my phone.</font>
 
<br>There is a short silence as everyone is overcome by the aura of the approaching manchild
 
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Nervously, under her breath) Oh my God....</font>
 
<br>Another pause.
 
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' If this is going to goes all smoothly, I should get like...(trails off)</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' Where do I sit?</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Umm, there's some benches like by the table... oh, oh, oh no.</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (inaudible)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Okay, there's some benches like nearby...</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' Yeah?</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Umm, just sit and watch them, talk and eat, then go change or whatever.</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' Well, okay. I (indistict)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah...</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:'''  Okay. I (indistict)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *Takes a deep breath* Yeah.</font>
 
<br> Emily begins to slowly walk twards her impending date with destiny as she gives instructions to the Pickle Man
 
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' or just kind of walk around and see if you can see us.</font>
 
===The Date Begins (4:47 - 7:17)===
 
<br> Emily parts with the Pickle Man and advances on the table. The hesitation in her step is audible, but she marches on, straight into the lions den.
<br> At 5:21 Emily contacts the target.
 
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' ''[with tinge of disgust] Hi''...</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Are you Emily?</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah, I'm Emily... So nice to meet you.</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Hi Emily this is mah father Robert</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' (Cheerfully) Hello!</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Hello</font>
 
<br>A slight pause while they presumably shake hands
 
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' I've started shopping a little bit.</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' thas alright</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' You're from West Virgina?</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah, I use to live here for a while but then I-</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' *interrupts with a single word* HAT!</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' But then I moved to...</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' *interrupts a second time* NEAT HAT!</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah I thought you might like it.</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' *laughs, amused by himself* heh heh</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' You go to school over there?</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah, University of West Virgina, My friend -uh, wanted to go to school there and she's my best friend, so I have to go with her everywhere. *slightly nervous laugh*</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' [cheerfully] That sounds like the best way to do things!</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' *Butts in awkwardly* yeah hey Emily, do you mind a photo of you and me together?</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' [genuinely excited] Sure!</font>
 
<br>There is a short pause and Bob says something,  it would seem a picture is taken.
 
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' What are you taking?</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' I'm doing journalism.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' [hard of hearing) Wha?</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Journalism.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' [teasingly] Journalism? Oh, you're going to be a writer!</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah! [giggles girlishly]</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' I did a lot-</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' He [Chris] has a [[Cole Smithey|half brother]], who's.... Who lives in New York City and uh... does Freelance Writing and Show Review and things... for newspapers and magazines.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Is it- Does he love it?</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' I guess...</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *Giggles girlishly again*</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' I haven't talked to him in years...</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah...</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' *mumbles something under his breath* You haven't said anything about me, before.</font>
 
<br> They take a few steps, and an extraordinarily unconformable silence falls.
 
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' You know thats- I worked at uhh- I'm an engineer and engineers never learn how to spell.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *Giggles girlishly yet again*</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' I think very logically but I-</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' *interrupts yet again* SHOOT! I got bad batteries in the camera.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *Moans with disappointment*</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' (Continues)If I would- If would write anything, half the words would be phonetically rather than the way we're suppose to.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *laughs again, a little less enthusiastically*</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' (Continues)I got along fine... writing stuff on my word processor... when I had spell check</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' (Continues)but I don't do that no more</font>
 
<br> Bob emits a dry, finely-aged, man cackle. Chris is strangely quiet.
 
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Did you like doing engineering?</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Well, I had a really unique situation...</font>
 
===About Bob (7:18 - 16:45)===
 
Bob Pauses, and seems to weigh what he is about to say next
 
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Look, uh... I'ma-I'm really old</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *laughs nervously*</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Okay, so- cause I'm 81 and I came along before transistors.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *nods attentively* mm-hmm?</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' (inaudible)the stuff we had now, but even before then. This is when we had vacuum tubes. And I uh... got drafted after World War II. That's how old-but uh... They put me in the Signal Corps and they knew things I didn't know. They taught me how to install valve systems and switchboard and telephone (Inaudible). So I found out, yeah, I'm pretty good at that. So when I got out.. course that was in 1947... found out now- I know we had a deflation economy, I didn't know it then- Couldn't get a job, So I thought "Well, I got the G.I. Bill. I'll go to school." </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah, now it's really hard to become an engineer</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Eh, now ya- I, uh- I went to a State Union College(?) to start with cause I had the philosophy, that if I went to a big school I'd be just... swallowed up</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' So I went to a small school and took Pre-Engineering for two years and that was the best thing I ever did. Cause I wound up... well- I got through my two years of Pre-Engineering in small classes.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *nods attentively* mm-hmm</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' And also I loved music, and I was in this band and everything. And I got the chance to learn a lot about music while I was there. And then I went to Alburn and it was- talk about getting swallowed up</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *Laughs Nervously*</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Then- At that time Alburn, which now has like thirty thousand students, or something. Alburn had about five thousand students. I got my engineering degree. And then when I got out, I said: "I'll, uh, I can do anything with relays and telephones and valve systems, and (another item, indistinct). I'm gonna work for Western Electric;-"</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *interjecting her agreement* mm-hmm</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' "That seems logical...(cut off by Chris).</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' *Interrupting, yet again* Yeah! Hey! No, you listen to my father. Because he's something; Because I get some of my intelligence from him.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Especially my tend-o-logical *phonetic spelling* intelligence.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:'''*Ignoring Chris' comments* But anyway, I, uh, I went to work for them for forty years, and, uh, at that point in time... (Pause) uh, This is even before the (indistinct), the I.C.B-(Emily laughs again, drowning him out). Before the Korean War, and, uh, but, I-I found out they were building radar systems. Well that was fine, but I thought they had lots of available money, and they wanted to automatic (indistinct). At that time, nothing was automatic. They had none.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' So, that's what I come and build 'em. (Indistinct) what I learned in the army.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' I started working with the first automatic (death storm?), that we ever made. And then GE heard about it, and they came down to help them with the (boat?), in North Carolina. And the GE came down, they offered me a job up in upstate New York. Cold country in Utica.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Laughs at what Bob said)</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' And, uh, I went down to build the automatic (indistinct).</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' mm-hmm</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:'''Nobody knows how, because we haven't done it before.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:'''We found something with automatic (indistinct), down here. Why don't you come up there? Well, okay. So, I went up there, for three years, and helped develop the, uh, automatic (indistinct) but I got, I was a soldier (indistinct) 'cause I was born in Texas and raised in Alabama.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' And then I was in North Carolina, first. And then I hit upstate New York, and I froze to death.(Chuckles)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah, that would be really differ-eh-eh-heh-heh-heh. (Emily laughingly responds)</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' After three years, I said: "I'm going back to (indistinct)GE. I didn't know it then, but I had a real natural draw to the mountains.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' mm-hmm</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' And I knew about (indistinct) So, I wanted to come back to (indistinct). See, we have plants there...and them there plants specialized in industrial automation. Except, they hadn't done any automation yet. They were just industrial controlled. So, I finagled a transfer back to (indistinct) and I got there just at the time, when they were startin' to make any kind of automation controls. So, I got into what they call "a new business area." And I got to do all the great things. All my, I-I really had it right. I was in the right places, at the right time.</font>   
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah. (Giggles Girlishly)</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:'''Because, I am very logically inclined.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' That doesn't really happen these days, with the economy.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:'''Yeah. I'm a logician. Oddly enough, I never learned how a transistor even works on (records?). But, I use em' all the time.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:'''I use 'em. I'm retired now, long time. But when I started out with this group, and the first thing we got into was trying to automate a steel mill, for rolling (painted?) steel for your cars. And when we did that,and then I got into how to roll papers so you could get Kleenex.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (More Girlish Giggling)</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' And, of course you know, that he's the guy that designed the controls for all the plastic water machines! (Bob starts to say something, but Chris plows right along.) So, without him at this time, you couldn't have the plastic through your glasses.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' And-and then then I got into (indistinct), you know? We could do the first one, and then somebody else would take over and do the others.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' mm-hmm</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' And then I got into (managing?) a paper mill. And then I got into the...industry of-of, uh, like (low-line?) warehousing, automatic transition, like BART. Bay Area Rapid Transit.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' mm-hmm</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Automatic railroads, and all that kind of stuff. Automated a bunch of that, then I got into automating a bunch of (mine horses?), around the world.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' You've been through a lot!</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' And the I went to do the automating of tanker ships, so you could run 'em from the bridge, and have nobody downstairs.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Even More Girlish Giggling)</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Just someone else involved-</font>
 
Unable to hold his tongue any longer, Chris cuts off his father and leaps into the conversation. He then breathes noisily and asks Emily:
 
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Want some water?</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' No, thank-you.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' And, uh, then, uh, then, um, I got into...I developed (indistinct). I found out that there were very few people like me, in the world, who had this natural inclination for logic. Anyway, like the ands, and ors, and the what if's, and the what if's.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:'''And then that developed because (indistinct).</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' uh-huh.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Hardware oriented (Y2k pile of junk. ???)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Giggles)</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Similar fortune was in hardware. </font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' (Indistinct, Sounds like: Here pretty lid, here.</font>)
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (To Bob) Oh, okay. (To Chris) Oh, thank you.</font>
 
Bob starts speaking, but Chris talks over him, making what they say incomprehensible. It seems that Bob is continuing with his life's story, and that Chris is complimenting Emily.
 
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Giggles) Thank you.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' -One of my neighbors was in the Navy too,but I was lazy</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' mm-hmm</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' -was to right down on paper, and design on paper right from the start (indistinct) a sequence of parallel lines.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' mm-hmm</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' And up to that point, nobody had a way of writing it down on paper.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Unsuccessfully attempts to stifle a laugh)</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' They still don't! (indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' But that hadn't come to mind, I designed the (mine-hose component?) Elevator (indistinct) 5000 ft hole.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Giggles)</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Then I got into, uh, designing scooter machines, which fused, um, plastic around wires, and things like that.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' --Scooters. And then I got into die cast machines, and the machines automating them. They make things like carburetors, and cans, and whatever. And then I got into plastics (indistinct) automating their machines. In the process, I ended up with a patent, in my name, that they own. (Indistinct) And I saw the first two liter Coke bottle (Emily Chortles) come off the line in England. (indistinct) shutters, and stuff like that, made out of plastic. All this stuff we got plastic.</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Like your frames!</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yep!(Giggles)</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Including, uh, Tupperware.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Uncertainly) Can't...go without Tupperware.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' No, and that's why I (Indistinct) finalized and perfected, basically, this whole polar (indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' mm-hmm</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' design, and documentation. It came time for me to retire. And so, I did!</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Laughs)</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' And now I'm inundated, with all this stuff I did, and I don't know if I did the world a good thing, or not.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Jumping to Bob's defence) I think you did! You did a lot of things.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' But I can't, I can't spell the word "CAT," without a "K" in it.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Giggles)</font> (Writing Emily's lines is a breeze. You just have to copy and paste the same four responses over and over again.)
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Aw, yeah, well you know, I'm proud of him, anyway, for his accompliment, accom-PLISH-ments.</font> 
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' uh-huh</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' (Referring to Chris) He's got a half-brother who (Indistinct)-</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' (Referring to the parentage of the fore-mentioned half-brother) His son.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh, okay.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' and he's got a, I have a daughter (Indistinct) Phi Beta Kappa, out of UVA.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' She's working for the government. She's got a PHD, now. She's working somewhere for the federal government, all those math people. I dunno.</font>
 
===Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)===
 
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' I'm not very good at math. (Girlishly Giggles)</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' I'm not that-I'm good at logic, but not at math.</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' I'm good at math!</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' He's not good at math, when it comes to managing money.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Laughs)</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Hey, look it! I have YOUR plastic lid on it!</font>
 
Chris and Emily share a giggle over the humor of this statement.
 
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' We've been working with him, now, for twenty seven years. (It was a job/challenge?) Most of the time, I've been retired, so I could (coach him?).</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah, usually if you're not very good at math, you're really good at writing, which is why I'm going for journalism.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Well, uh, I uh do alright with writing as long as I got spell check. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''  (Giggles) </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' I just, uh, I enjoyed my life it, uh I-I had things, I had opportunities most people don’t get. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah. </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' I’ve got to see all the stuff (Indistinct) </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' That’s gooood, I hope that I can travel all around the world and you know, write in journalism..like overseas.</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' I’ve been to Australia, I’ve been to Korea, I've been to England, most people that I know have never been to (Indistinct) so they write(?) for a living</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Giggles)</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' (Indistinct) I wish I could get find out what good he can do though he’s pretty good in drawing</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah. </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' -and writing</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''  Yeah, she-she-she you-you should know, you’ve seen a bunch ah my artwork. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah it’s really good! All-all my friends like it as well. </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' He’s creative, but he’s uh , I-I guess you know he’s high functioning autistic and, uh-</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris'''</font> and <font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> Yeah.
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' At six he couldn’t even talk but he was programming(?) (indistinct, possibly AMIGA?) computers and Commodore computers.</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''  Commodore 64. </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' (Laughs) which was his first little--</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh! I don’t know that much about computers (Giggle) Sorry! (Giggle) </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' You’ve probably got a laptop, with a word processor. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah…</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''  Yeah-yeah, but you-</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' We’ve brought him a long way. It’s been interesting. </font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''  Yeah, that’s a little piece of history you can write about, if you want to. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah, that would be interesting. </font>
 
Chris takes over for half a second.
 
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''  Anyways, you came all the way here from VCU? Or, did you make a few stops along the way? </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' No, I came all the way from VCU, um, like a lot of my friends over at VCU know about the whole Sonichu thing, but there’s a lot more. Like, uh, I guess Sonichu girls? </font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''  Yeah... </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' --up in University of West Virginia and we kinda do a newsletter type thing every week</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''  Wow… </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah. </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' This is one of my favorite spots in the country. </font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''  I commend you for that. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Giggles)</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' --little trees on west avenue. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' uh-huh</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Have you heard about West Avenue? </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' mm-hmm</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' You know where West Avenue is? </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' mm-hmm</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' You know where west avenue is? </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah, a little bit, but I don’t go in that area. </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Then are you from VCU then? </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah, (laughing this off) I don’t know that area very well. </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' It’s a little town(house?)…only three blocks long and it’s got a second name, called: “Fork Avenue.”</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Giggles) </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Every spring they have a Fork Avenue (rally?) </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Uh-oh</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' at the same time they have the easter parade over on Monument Avenue. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah, I’ve never seen it before, but my friends have told me about it, but I’m usually stuck in you know...college. </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' --in Richmond uh 1975 thru 1980 and then I got married to his mother and, um, he was born. Then we got transferred over here and we moved to Chesterfield county …but I love West Avenue that’s my favorite spot. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Giggles) </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' I call it Sesame Street. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh that’s--(giggles) </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' They call itself now cause there’s too many kids. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh yeah…?</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' I-I love Virginia. His mother was raised, oh you wouldn’t believe it, raised in (Indistinct) and was the one who decided to move</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' uh-huh</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' right there on and uh can’t remember the name of that school the one that goes (Indistinct) on (Indistinct) street. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' I don’t really know the streets. </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' well there’s a street (on a?) Burger King right down the street from there is where uh his mother lived for twenty years and raised her first son and he’s got a lot of ties to the family too, he just doesn’t like me. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Ohh, you guys have a big family? </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Well, uh, we’ve got my son and my daughter; my son’s in Richmond and my daughter’s in Washington. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' mm-hmm</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' And then you’ve got her son,  who lives in New York, and then there’s the three of us. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah, sure is a big family. </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' We’ve really got two separate families. </font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''  Yeah, but it’s not as big as the Brady BunCH! </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.(Giggle) no... </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' We-we-we enjoy it and I grow flowers. I don’t have to worry about making a living anymore. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah. </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Social Security, GE pension and GE is good and sound, so what’s it to me? </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah. </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' I grow (Indistinct) of it. I’ve got my yard for (Indistinct) And in the middle I’ve got a um about a 12 to 15 flat greenhouse. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh? </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Inside the greenhouse it’s different. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' mm-hmm</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Inside the greenhouse, there’s plastic flowers. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh, plastic flowers? </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' --swaying and all my stereo stuff. </font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''  Yeah, but he’s got real flowers in his garden. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh, oh okay. </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' The day lillies are real in the garden inside (Indistinct) it’s all flat. </font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''  Yeah, day lillies bloom about once a year du-duri-about once this summer. </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' –summer.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh... </font>
 
Bob continues to talk but Chris talks over him 22:33
 
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''  And dey stay that way for about a month or so. It’s a beautiful garden</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' I can imagine. </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' I’ve got about fifteen thousand healthy--</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''  (high pitched/dreamily/wistfully/CREEPILY) IMAGINE. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Giggles) </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' I love all the music from Rick and Rick Van Swing. </font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''  Raise me on music, he did! </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Laughs) </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' --musical soundtracks</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Well, what’s your favorite artist? </font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''  Uh, my favorite artist…well, he didn’t raise me on it, but you know my favorite singer is Britney Spears. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Britney Spears? </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' You’ve got all my (Indistinct) back in the 30’s and 40’s and 20‘s.. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' And he’s into more modern pop music? </font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''  Well, if I guess I had to pick a classic favorite it would have to be SATCHMO. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' SATCHMO? </font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''  Louis Armstrong. </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' (Indistinct) you’ve got all these classics now-</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''  (23:19-interupts with an impersonation of Louis Armstrong) TEN FEET UP THE GRAND BU BUH BUH BEH</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Giggles) </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' It was in the 40’s when it came out on the European market was lacking. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah. </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Back in the 40’s when it came out (Indistinct) and now you’ve got to make good will and salvation army. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah. </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' (Indistinct) </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' YeeAAh</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' THOUSANDS of them now.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Giggles) </font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' And inside, I found out inside the greenhouse going soon the (complete rules of society are turned around?) I found a great stereo system in the 1970’s and put it out there along with my swing. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' uh-huh</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' You can turn the volume up, and it sounds like it’s the hall where they recorded it. I go out there and swing with the music. </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' What? (Bob laughs) It must be really relaxing(24:19) </font>
 
===A Walk to Remember (01:14:23 - 01:21:43)===
Chris and Emily awkwardly leave Bob who continues to ramble as they clomp off through the mall.
<BR><font color="#545454">'''Bob:''' Take care.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Alright come on, Emily, let's, let's walk...</font>
<BR>
<BR>Bob babbles on about sending something.
<BR>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''Okay... okay, you can show me around the mall...</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Okay! Here's our... heights... You... you come to just about my eyeline.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *nervous tittering*</font>
<BR>
<BR>They walk quietly for a moment as Chris mutters something quietly.
<BR>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' *sigh* So where you li... where do you usually like to go shopping at when you're at a shopping center?</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *impatiently* Clothes stores.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah, uh, they have a number of clothing stores in, uh...</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah...</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' ...a J.C. Penney and a Sears, among other places that uh, more name brands...</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah a lot of the stores here are, if you take a look, take a look at the prices and they're pretty expensive.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah... Yeah... but, you know, they used to ha- they used to have a Kay-Bee Toys here and I- that's where I got my- turns out- my thousand dollar shopping spree I won around the... around the Adventures- the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog...</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' That sweepstakes, you might remember I put something about that...</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah!</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' ...you might remember that, uh, news clip...</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah! I've seen it.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah...</font>
<BR>
<BR>Chris nervously takes a few steps.
<BR>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Wow... you're like... I'm sorry.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *nervous laughter*</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' I'm just fascinated like... you're just like... a character from PGSM or from- came all the way from Japan- just leapt out of my television!</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *nervous laughter* No I'm definitely all American.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' You're all American.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' I'm all American.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Okay- so it's just- it's just your eyes that are excepting.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *shameless subject change* Yeah... so what's your favorite store here?</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah it's- currently, since they took away the toy store- I think it's- I would say it's mostly Gamestop, but I also go to the bookstore or Sears, or even the Spencer's that's down on the other side of the mall. And they used to have an FYE here, which was a Suncoast before- before it- before they all merged and became an FYE, but then they closed that to make the next business here.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' What's down the other way... cause I've been... I came down this way, but I haven't been down that way.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Okay, we'll go down that way! Alright. I hope- Hope you don't mind me sticking around your left side...</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *bravely* Okay, that's fine!</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' I mean, I guess I should keep my hands to myself and behave, right?</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah, you should probably do that.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' I mean, I'm just trying to be friendly.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *nervous laughter*</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' But, you know, not- but you know- respectful- touch you gently on the shoulder or the back-</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *vomitously* Yeah...</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' I mean at least I'm not that guy from Inuyasha that... go- eh- go for the bum.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *vomitously* Yeah...</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Heh-heh, that's funny. Always get slapped in the face, he does.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah...</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' I forget his name, I think it's Mamoru, or something like that</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Uh.... it's Miroku.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' *talking over her* Do you watch Inuyasha? Yeah, Miroku, that was it, you hi- you hit it on the head right there...</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah...</font>
<BR>
<BR> Emily awkwardly walks several steps...
<BR>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *delaying* Is that the... food court there?</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah that's basically the food court.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' OK...</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah it use- it used to have McDonalds here-</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah...</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' ...soooo many years ago across from the Gamestop there, back then it was called Babbages...</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah...</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' And then between them and Suncoast was FunCo Land and Software Etc. and they all merged into a Ga- they all merged into Gamestop</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh... never heard about that...</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah... I'm sh- I'm sh- I'm sure you must've at least noticed those game stores back in your youth-</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah... I play video games sometimes, but not very often...</font>
<BR> '''Saleschump:''' HELLO WOULD YOU LIKE HARAAGARALABHGH
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh, no thank you!</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' No thank you!</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah... right over- see- where that *unintelligble name of store*, that's where PacSun used to be, where Anna McLerran</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh yeah... I've... I've heard of her as well...</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah...</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Is she still around?</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' No she, uh- moved to Utah.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Utah...</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' She's a Mormon. Found that out after I met her. But we cam- but we- but we could became good friends and I gave her, uh, you know, gave her a going away/birthday party before she left for Utah...</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Uh-huh!</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' For her 20th birthday... and actually her- actual- and actually her friends, uh, her friends and I got together and put together the party. *emphatically* I k- I bought the cake.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh, that's nice of you... and... there was also Megan. Do you keep in contact with her?</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah uh... no, not-no-n-n-not-been-touch with her for a long time.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh...</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' That's cause she moved to another state.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh... did she move to Utah too?</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Uh, no, I don't think she moved to Utah, I don't even remember where she moved to.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh...</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' But you know, sometimes, I, uh, I dream I'm back in uh, Manchester High, you know, I get to see all my- all my old s- c- all my old friends... there.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah...</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Sometimes I even see Megan and John in there... John's her brother...</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh ok...</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Can you believe that, attending Manchester High like I was back then,</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *small laughter*</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' ...but yet they never went- they never been- they never been to Manchester High, neither of them. Isn't that... kinda funny?</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *slightly sarcastically* Yeah... that is kinda funny!</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah... FYE was over there...</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh... I guess it's becoming a LensCrafters?</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah, I guess... anyway here's the Spencer's.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh...</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' If you like looking at the, uh, naughty stuff-</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *quickly* No, I'm not into that.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Not yet anyway! *laughs*</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *nervous laughter*</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Ah, but you might. But it's mostly humorous, anyway.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah... well... doesn't look like there's anything down here...</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah... not much... not much to look at around here... the toy stores around here are down here...</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh... well I gotta get going soon, it's gonna be a long drive!</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Long drive...</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah...</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Well I hope, uh, you at least, uh, keep the memories we've shared...</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah...</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah I'll walk you to your car, if you want...</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' No, I'll probably have to go to the bathroom first... it's that time of the month...</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Oh.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah...</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah, when you're on your, uh, period...</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah... *nervous laughter*</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah, you know, aside from the, uh, first time, uh, meeting, this first meeting, uh, how do you feel about me? In general...</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' You're a really nice guy!</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Thank you...</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' I don't know why people pick on you and all that...</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah, they should get to know me in person...</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah...</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' I mean I'm a gentleman, I behave... behave...</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *steering the beast* Have you been into any of these stores over here?</font>
 
==Meet the Pickle (01:21:44 - 01:25:29)==
 
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (inaudible) Yeah, so, um, you wouldn't want to go see Watchmen, would you?</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Uh... no.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' I'd see that movie.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' *shocked* Uh... any particular reason why you're dressed up like that?</font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' Not in particular.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Come on, Emily.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' What?</font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' Hey, hey, maybe the lady wants to go with me. Ya, ya want to go see Watchmen? Lots of, uh...</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *gloating* Why, what's wrong?</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' The man in the pickle suit... a- it's apparent this guy's amongst the... trolls.</font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' You think...</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' What's a tro...</font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (inaudible)</font>
<BR>'''Curious Bystander:''' Sir... sir, what are you?
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' I'm a pickle.</font>
<BR>'''Curious Bystander:''' You're a pickle! I love pickles.
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' Yeah? Pickles are pretty cool.</font>
<BR>'''Curious Bystander:''' And who are you advertising with?
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' I'm not really advertising.</font>
<BR>'''Curious Bystander:''' You're just dressed for fun?
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' Just bored.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Dressed as a pickle to HAUNT ME.</font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' Excuse me? I don't even know you.</font>
<BR>'''Curious Bystander:''' You're just bored?
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' Yep!</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' *questioningly* You don't even know me... are you sure... do you have internet access?</font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' Lots of people have internet access.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Do you know Sonichu and Rosechu?</font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' No, I do not.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Do you know about Encyclopedia Dramatica?</font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' No, I do not. (turning to Emily) Want to go see Watchmen?</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' *stress sighs* No, no, no, she's with-</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Alright!</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' ...she's h- she's headed over to- she's heading back to her home town.</font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' Uh, Watchmen would be pretty cool.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah, it would be pretty cool!</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah, alright, uh...</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Let's go see it!</font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (inaudible)</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah?</font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (to Emily as they turn to leave together) You've probably seen Watchmen (he refers to the novel), haven't you?</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' (answering the question meant for Emily as he is clearly left behind) I've heard of Watchmen...</font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' *laughs at Chris*</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah!</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' (inaudible, but clearly saying something to the effect that he doesn't like the Pickle Man.)</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *gloating* What's wrong with him?</font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' What, you like pickles?</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah... I do not like pickles.</font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' No pickles?</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' And also particularly a guy in a pickle suit who tricked me on the internet pretending that he was Blanca!</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' There's nothing wrong with him!</font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' Who's Blanca?</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' *stress sighs/grunts*</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' There's nothing wrong with him! See, he's a nice guy.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' (inaudible, but stressed as he moves closer to Emily)</font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' I think you're making the lady uncomfortable there, Chris.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' *stress sighs* I'm sorry, Emily.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' It's ok... I think I have... to go to the bathroom now...</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah, go change my tampon.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Oh boy.  (indistinct)</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' (indistinct) ...but I guess I do now.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *attempting to brush him off* OK, well it was nice meeting you... maybe we'll talk online or something.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah well... I kinda... (indistinct)</font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (as they continue trying to walk away) Well, we're going to go now.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah well...</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' I'm going to the bathroom.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah, uh, either of- (to Pickle Man) you're not going where she's going...</font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' Uh, we're- we're leaving together.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Are you with her?</font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' Now we are.  We're going to go see Watchmen.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' No! N- no! She's going b- you gotta go back to West Virginia, don't you.</font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' We're going to go see Watchmen first.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' I'm kinda- just- gonna- Watchmen's not that long of a movie.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' *suddenly concerned for Emily* Yeah, but you got a five hour drive!</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *dismissively* It'll be ok.</font>
<BR>
<BR>The Pickle Man and Chris indistinctly carry on a short dialogue.  The Pickle Man seems to be asking Chris why he is following along, and Chris replies:
<BR>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' I'm just staying close to my friends</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Alright, see ya!</font>
 
==Emily Rides the Red Tide (01:25:29 - 01:29:34)==
{{incomplete}}
 
==A Precious Farewell (01:29:35 - 01:31:10)==
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' So, you ready to go?</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah, my car's that way.</font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' Okay.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah, her car's... Your car's (inaudible) didn't you?</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah, so did I.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh, you did?</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Which (inaudible)? </font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Tha- that way.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh... I'm over there. </font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Oh. (continues walking alongside Pickle Man and Emily) </font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Chris... you don't need to walk me to my car. </font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Okaaay. </font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' This is... Alright.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' So, you have yourself a safe trip back to uhh... West Virginia. </font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh... (feigning cheerfulness) okay! I might call you on Skype later.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Okay, you take care. </font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' You too.</font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Hey... (attempts to hug and kiss Emily) </font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (tries to avoid Chris) No... no... no thank you! (nervous laughter) No thank you. </font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' (Chris gives up) Okay. </font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Alright, see you. </font>
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Alright, well you take care, be safe. </font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Alright, you too. </font>
(8 seconds pass as Pickle Man and Emily walk away from Chris)
<BR><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' (yelling from a distance) HE KNOWS CLYDE CASH! </font>
(laughter from Pickle Man and Emily)
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (laughing) Mission accomplished! </font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' Is he gone yet?</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' I don't know, let me look behind. </font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (inaudible) I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry. I'm so sorry.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' That's okay!. (inaudible) worse than me... </font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' I'm so sorry.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' That's okay. </font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (inaudible)</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah...</font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' Okay... (inaudible) man in the pickle suit? </font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (laughs) </font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (laughingly says something about Clyde Cash)</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (laughs) Wait there... there's Frosty. </font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' What?</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Looks like he's gone now. I'm gonna go tell him what happened.</font>
<BR><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' Okay.</font>
<BR><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (presumably walking to see Frosty) Yes! Still recording!</font>
 
=External links=
* [http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?hgz03i1wj4n The Date Audio]
 
[[Category:Historical Documents]]
[[Category:Trolling]]

Latest revision as of 19:13, 19 June 2022

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