User talk:Beat/Sandbox

Chris and Patriotisim!

Champthom says it can't be done. He's probably right, but I'm gonna tool around with it anyway. There's not a lot that can be said about Chris's nonexistent politics, but does have a lot of very strange views on how the US operates that might make an interesting read if done properly.

Also, why is my sandbox talkpage so long?--Beat 15:55, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

I think the possible patriotism article could include a section on Thomas Jefferson, as a particularly hilarious segment of Sonichu 10 had Magi-Chan standing in front of an American flag wondering what Thomas Jefferson would think of the Asperpedia people.Ganondorfdude11 21:30, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

Another thing, Chris also has weird views on other countries as well. His war paint video, kilt video, and Christian Love Day video belie his cultural ignorance. That seems to be a theme in his "patriotism." He thinks that invoking a patriotic sentiment gives credence to his position, even when he doesn't know anything about the culture or country he is invoking. Ganondorfdude11 21:33, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

I'm trying to keep speculation to a minimum here, but the line about how Chris would have been shot or put to work in a camp gets to me a little bit. To the best of my knowledge, any stable, developed nation (The US, Canada, The vast Majority of Europe, Japan, Australia, essentially anywhere with a stable government, good infrastructure, and without massive amounts of poverty,) Chris would likely grow up to be very similar to the way he is now. Giant useless manbabys exist in pretty much every nation where daily life isn't a grave hardship.

Had he been born in a developing, war-torn, or otherwise miserable nation, I figure there's two distinct possiblities. One would be that he wouldn't have survived past Childhood, either because his autisim caused him to wander into a dangerous situation, or because the way he acted put others at risk. The second is that the constant Hardship would beat the laziness out of him, and he would become much like every other person growing up there.

That said, this is all useless speculation. I'm just typing all this as I try to find a way to say Chris is lucky he's an american without inviting a thousand edits claiming that he's as he is BECAUSE he's American. It's a factor, sure, but I don't think he'd be significantly different had he been born in Bristol England or Auckland New Zeland.--Beat 19:02, 2 May 2010 (UTC)

I think even the stars & bars flag would be inaccurate; sure he's a bigoted redneck but even they find his views extreme (CWCville would hardly be the best example of "states rights"). Would a swastika be invoking Godwin's law too much? Or maybe a Soviet or Chinese flag, I don't know, something to reflect his totalitarian views. Bill Lumburg 20:30, 2 May 2010 (UTC)

CHRIS AND AMERICA IN AMERICA FOR AMERICA FUCK YEAH

Now we can cover all of Chris's stupid-ass ideas on the nation in one place. --Beat 16:01, 3 May 2010 (UTC)

THE PRESIDENT

I think you should add how his opinion of the president usually waffles depending on who's in office. Bill Lumburg 17:38, 6 May 2010 (UTC)

Okay, so the actual patriotism part now

This article is probably the most I've ever agonized over stuff I've written for this site. I just want it to be good. Right now though Just trying to get some sort of outline down here.

How Chris Views His Country

GOD

• Chris views the US government, law enforcement agencies with much the same attitude he views God. I am not saying that Chris thinks of the US as god, merely that he applies the same Chris-logic to them.

• He doesn't really understand how either of them work, and he has made no effort to learn anything about them.
• He completely ignores both of them until it is convenient for him.
• He expects both to protect/look out for him, even though he ignores them the rest of the time.
• He expects both to go out of their way to help him, often at the expense of everybody else.
• He expects both to take a personal interest in the immediate destruction of his enemies.
• He is completely ungrateful for the bounty both have provided him.

• Again, I am not saying that Chris somehow equates government with religion. I'm just saying he approaches both topics with very similar mindsets. He probably doesn't even realize it.

MARKETING

• Chris uses American symbolism much like an advertiser would.

• Clarksville address. No connection to America at all. Just stars and stripes for no reason.

• Marketers in America (And presumably in other countries as well) will often use national symbolism in order to create feelings of comfort and familiarity in their audience. This is a proven marketing tactic that can often be seen in car dearlship ads (of all things). The idea is "This product is good, because it, like you, is American!"
• Chris's use of needless American imagery is just another way of him casting himself in a positive light. He is aware that it is good to be patriotic, and Sonichu is the good guy, so patriotism.

HE DOESN'T KNOW THE NATIONAL ANTHEM

• How the hell does anybody forget their national anthem. That's something I heard every single day from Kindergarten to the end of high school, and today before every sports event I go to. To me, and other normal people, it's pretty much inescapable.
• He doesn't know God bless America either.

HE MOCKS NATIONAL TRAGEDIES

• It's possible he saw the ED shit about 9/11 (Protip: if you think Jews did WTC, you're a fucking idiot), and figured it was okay to use 9/11 to mock trolls, because trolls mock everything.

• That doesn't make it less fucked up.

• The samantha E-mails had him mocking earthquake victims, completely unprovoked. Samantha was like WTF, so maybe this is just a Chris thing.

CONCLUSION

• Chris honestly does believe that he's a good Patriot, so when he says he is one, he's not intentionally lying. That said, Chris also honestly believes that he's a good artist, writer, lover, Christian, and human being. Chris is a dumbass.--Beat 03:30, 7 May 2010 (UTC)

OkCupid Answers

It appears that Chris is attempting to use the patriotism card to draw in the boyfriend-free girls. In his List of OkCupid Answers he lists flag burning as a serious offense to him, more offensive than book burning. And because we all know who burned books... Ganondorfdude11 05:19, 21 May 2010 (UTC)

I noticed that. There's also some good shit on patriotisim in the regenia E-mails. I'm gonna try and get this shit sorted out tonight, and then post it. If it sucks, there is no doubt in my mind that Champ will delete it. He's doing god's work.--Beat 07:11, 21 May 2010 (UTC)

• Oh captain my captain. If you have need of me, sir, simply ask. Yours is a noble cause. --Ronichu 07:23, 21 May 2010 (UTC)

• Fuck it, I'm exhausted. I have a badly mangled version of this in word right now, I'll try to unfuck it in the morning. I'm sorry Ronichu, I've failed you once again.--Beat 08:22, 21 May 2010 (UTC)

• When you post it, I'll read it afterwards and fix anything I see. 'tis the best I can offer, my liege.--Ronichu 11:03, 21 May 2010 (UTC)