Difference between revisions of "PS3"

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#REDIRECT [[PlayStation 3]]
[[Image:Sony playstation 3.jpg|thumb|A life upgrade.]]
 
The [[Sony]] '''PlayStation 3''' is [[Chris]]'s "life upgrade." He wanted to win one in a contest, so he made [[Pixelated PS3|a video]] where he built one out of [[Pixelblocks]]. He would "throw out the cure for [[autism]]" for one.<ref>[[Pixelated PS3]]</ref> He eventually went ahead and bought one with taxpayer money from his [[monthly tugboat]], using one of his many collected credit cards.
 
==PlayStation Network==
[[Image:Etc playstation.PNG|thumb|Confirmation emails, a testament to Chris' financial responsibility.]]
 
Chris, being as irresponsible with money as he is, went into overdrive with this feature of the PS3's online capabilities. Chris has spent so much on the PSN it has contributed into most of the $2000 of his credit card debt (although this was during the [[Julie]] Saga). As of now that number <strike>could be lower or higher, but almost definitely</strike> is higher.
 
You might ask yourself how he could spend that much, and what he could spend it on. Chris seemingly buys everything possible, from game content to movies to several episodes of terrible harem [[anime]]. A list of Chris's PSN purchases reveals that he has even bought upgrades to games he doesn't even own.
 
=== Trophies ===
 
According to [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu PSN profile for Sonichu], as of January 31, 2010, Chris has 734 trophies. ''Note: Availability of Sonichu's trophy information is dependent on the proper functioning of the PlayStation Network. Information is not updated in real time.''
 
Chris is a trophy whore; often, when he plays a game, he plays the shit out of it. Although more than half his games are at or near 0%, the rest are closer to or at 100%.
 
The games he has over 50% progress so far include:
 
{| class="wikitable"
! Game
! Trophies acquired
! %
! Comments
|-
| ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''
| 70
| 100%
| And he still can't coordinate his jumps, or design a good level. <strike>(Chris used to have 100% of this game's trophies, until new trophies were introduced in an update.)</strike>
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Linger In Shadows|Linger In Shadows]]''
| 16
| 100%
| Apparently, a demoscene production. ''Not'' remarkable. Most people already had 1000 gamerscore in ''[[wikipedia:Second Reality|Second Reality]]''. In 1993.
|-
| ''[[Sonic]]'s Ultimate Genesis Collection''
| 35
| 100%
| Another case of redundancy for most of the included games, especially the Sonic ones.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:.detuned|.detuned]]''
| 10
| 100%
| Another demoscene production. Again, we'd allege that Chris wouldn't get too far in Farbrausch's more famous interactive entertainment prod ''.kkrieger'' - not to even mention the largely .famous ''.the .product'', dammit!
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Mainichi Issho|Mainichi Issho]]''
| 7
| 100%
| A Japan-only release. Apparently just like ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', only more boring and even bigger of a grindfest.
|-
| ''Buzz! Junior: Monsters''
| 11
| 100%
| "Junior" says it all.
|-
| ''Buzz! Junior: RoboJam''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
| ''Gunstar Heroes''
| 12
| 100%
|
|-
| ''Flower''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''Frogger Returns''
| 4
| 100%
|
|-
| ''Burnout Paradise''
| 93
| 91%
| It has cars. They can be driven. Chris thinks this game is up there among greatest games ever made, with likes of ''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time''.<ref>[[Brutal Legend Plus]]</ref>
|-
| ''Wheel of Fortune''
| 12
| 90%
| Truly, the apex of hi-def gaming.
|-
| ''Braid''
| 11
| 89%
| A game about a man who alters [[Time void|time]] to rescue his [[sweetheart]].  Note that the end of the game reveals the main character to be a [[Christian Weston Chandler|stalker]].
|-
| ''Sonic Unleashed''
| 37
| 75%
| Due to the trophy data not visible to the public and people reporting hearsay as fact, a lot of people were under assumption that Chris had 100% of trophies in ''Sonic 2006'' (which doesn't actually even have trophies). Now, we're equally perplexed by the fact that Chris has ''only'' 75% of trophies in a bona-fide Sonic 3D title.
|-
| ''[[Brutal Legend Plus|Brütal Legend]]''
| 46
| 74%
| \m/ [[Britney Spears]]! \m/
|-
| ''Noby Noby Boy''
| 9
| 71%
|
|-
| ''Buzz!: Quiz TV''
| 16
| 61%
|
|-
| ''UNO''
| 10
| 52%
| Seriously?
|}
 
Comparing to the [[List of Chris's games|list of games he owns]], there's a bunch of them that he hasn't even booted up a single time. There are some games he has touched maybe once and then left to the wayside; for example, all of his ''BioShock'' trophies are from the beginning of the game, and he received all of them on October 23, 2008, over ''a couple of hours''. (The logical conclusion is that the second level of ''BioShock'' will ''blow your mind.'')
 
It has been alleged that Chris will download completed save files for games to unlock everything — to unlock all of the level creation items in LittleBigPlanet, for instance — so he might not even be any good at games he actually plays. (By sheer coincidence, borrow-a-save achievement grinding isn't possible on the [[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]]. Perhaps yet another reason Chris doesn't like it?)
 
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=== Hacking ===
 
As a result of his online notoriety, his poor choice of passwords, and his innate gullibility, Chris’s PlayStation Network account has been hacked or otherwise wrested from his control on multiple occasions. [[BlueSpike]], in his guise as Chris’s sweetheart Julie, was able to convince Chris to "share" his password in [[BlueSpike_PSN_Chat_3|February 2009]], and later used it as a wedge to control and torment Chris. Later, in the summer of 2009, [[Jack Thaddeus]] seized the account, resulting in the infamous [[Chris humps his PS3|eight minutes of console sex]] and detailed revelations concerning Chris’s insane online spending habits.
 
It’s hard to be certain regarding the disposition of Chris’s account at any given time, but chances are, if it hasn’t been hacked at the moment, it’s only a matter of time.
 
==Fanboyism==
{{quote|So… good reason to get a PlayStation 3 system… of at least 60 GB or higher! 'Cause, uh, y'know, they have four USB ports, the memory card slots, and able to access the Internet wirelessly. While 40 GB and lower: two USB ports, no memory card slots, and requires an Ethernet cable to connect to the Internet. And… LittleBigPlanet! And as you all know from my sponsorship video, ev— most of the videos I put up on YouTube were spon— were sponsored by Sony, and their PlayStation Eye, and their PlayStation 3.|[[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|Chris failing to tell us what the "good reason" is]]}}
{{quote|And yet, at the beginning, during the "Console War", I feel that I have chosen Truly Wise. Sony has truly helped this soul better his life, and many others as well. And with every new update, the PS3 and PSP grow more and more better alongside me. Playstaion isn't just a Station to Play, it's the station to Play and Truly Enrich Yourself. Higher Definition equals Better Points of View. Talking over the internet from a sancturious comfort is truly an enriching luxury. Now I have put behind me my regrets of Life without Playstation. And with Priceless Experiences, an honest sense of satisfaction. And a more mature winning attitude. Sony's Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable are Truly a place I can call... My Digital HOME. :D Happy Anniversary, Playstation 3; you are Truly the Best Life Upgrade Ever|Chris, fellating the faceless angel of overpriced electronics in [[PS3 History Level]] speech bubbles}}
 
[[Image:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|thumb|right|Chris's [[Vanity Plate of Fail|Sonichumobile]] camped outside a Playstation Cave]]
Chris pops giant boners for PS3. He makes trolls on /v/ look like mild enthusiasts with his hatred of the [[Hex Bawx]].
 
==Sexual attraction to PS3==
{{main|Chris humps his PS3}}
 
On 24th [[July 2009]], a video of Chris repeatedly assaulting his PS3 with his [[duck]] was leaked.
 
==Other oddities==
 
Chris appears to have put at least some of the games he has bought in blue Blu-Ray cases instead of keeping them in original retail cases.<ref>Seen, for example, in [[Brutal Legend]].</ref> He even does so in ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' advertisement. This peculiar practice is explained in Chris' [[PS3 History Level]]: Chris buys Blu-Ray game cases from eBay and switches them over because "It's THINNER than the Clear Original PS3 Disc Cases; MORE SHELF SPACE for MORE GAMES."
 
==See also==
*[[Chris-chan Discusses...]] - A video interview with Chris conducted over the PS3's video chat service.
*[[List of Chris's games]] - detailing his entire game collection.
*[[List of Chris's PSN video downloads]]
*[[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]]
*[[Pixelated PS3]] - Chris attempt to build one from [[Lego]] and [[Pixelblocks]].
*[[PS3 History Level]]
*[[PSEye]]
*[[PSP]]
*[[PSN Blogs]] - an archive of Chris's posts.
*[[Sonichu Home Club]] - because Chris loves Sony so much, he uses their ''Second Life'' ripoff.
*[[Sony]]
*[[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] - the Kryptonite of Chris's video gaming.
 
==Sauces==
<references/>
 
==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3WQ3QiJMWU Boyfriend-Free PS3]
 
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:PS3]]

Latest revision as of 18:36, 19 January 2015

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